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Barbara POV
I head out down the ramp my dad installed just for me to get out of the house. I moved in shortly after Dick's visit to my apartment. He made me realize how bad it was for my mental health, and Dad really wanted me to. I think he has been lonely since mom died, and it has helped a lot, I don't want to die anymore. Dick is waiting for me in his car to take me to Bruce's. I wish he wasn't so sweet to me, it reminds me of what we had once.
I get myself into the car, I've gotten better at getting in and out of places with time and practice. He puts my wheelchair into the back and hops into the driver's car. I'm a little more tense than normal. Bruce and Dick both decided that going in and taking down the Joker alone would be foolish, so the Huntress is coming to help him… I never liked her much in general, but now that she's taking my place at Dick's side in the field I'm going to have a hard time not hating her.
Dick keeps looking at me out of the corner of his eye. I try not to look back to often, I just want this to be over with and done. "So, tonight is the big night, we're going to take care of the Joker, maybe this time he will stay behind bars." I half laugh half grunt.
"Yeah, and pigs will fly." He smiles back and we continue towards Wayne Manor. We get out and I hop back into my chair and Dick pushes me up the massive hill. No way could I get myself up that, and it just rained, I'd probably slip right back down.
We walk into the doors and Helena is already waiting in the living room. She has that same gleam in her eye she always does when she's around Dick. I try not to let the green monster in my gut get to me, and I stare at my useless legs. "So, are we all ready for tonight Dick." She walks towards him and puts a hand on his shoulder.
"Ready as I'll ever be." I love how I get completely ignored. I roll to the newly refurbished elevator and go down. I'm sure they'll catch up to me. They come down and suit up, then they leave. I put on my headset and prepare for a night of listening to Helena flirt viciously with Dick, and listen to Dick be oblivious t it back. The joys of being Oracle.
"Oracle, what address are we going to?" I hear the Huntress chime in my ear.
"103rd and vine Ave. It's a red brick building, it used to be a firehouse. You can't miss it."
"Thanks." At least she is easy to deal with. A few more minutes of silence before I hear them start to talk. They must think I'm offline because I'm the topic. Normally I am offline until Dick needs me, but I like to hear the conversations on a night like this.
"So are you and Babs still an item, or are you guys over."
"We broke up after the accident."
"Was it a mutual thing?" I feel like she is trying to slice me open.
"No I broke up with her, not mature or strong enough to be what she needs."
"Oh, well I can see where you would feel that way, It would be hard, being her nurse and her boyfriend." I am seething, I start tapping my fingers near the speaker thinking I'd get them to stop talking, but she continues. "Especially a wheelchair, you can't go anywhere. No vacations, no nothing. That just sucks."
"Yeah, I guess." I can tell he knows I'm here and I'm listening. So Helena probably knows to, she just doesn't care.
"Yeah, well no one blames you Dick. Anyone would have done it. I read somewhere that over 40% of people paralyzed below the waist are single for the rest of their lives." I hear his head shake, he must have nodded. I see them stop moving on the screen on the building above the location. Everything is blissfully quiet while I google search that statistic she brought up… It's right out of Wikipedia. The worst part of this is that Dick isn't defending me at all. More interested in agreeing with her and getting laid I'm sure.I try really hard not to cry. I distract myself by texting my dad.
"The Huntress is a bitch. That's all I have to say." I send the text and go back to listening. Eventually she talks again.
"You shouldn't tap your knuckles like that on the concrete, Wouldn't want your fingers to be hurt." He always taps his knuckles when he is nervous. He laughs lightly.
"Of all the things to worry about, why would I worry about scraping up my knuckles."
"Well they may come in handy later." Her tone is that sex kitten voice Her mother uses on Bruce. Finally I can't keep it to myself a moment longer.
"Wow, how easy can you be."
"About as easy as pushing you down a hill backwards." I gasp, and Dick stays silent again.
"Okay, then tell me about how easy it is when I'm gone." I take the headset off. If they need me then I'll get on again, but for now, I can't listen to that crap.
I see a rumpus start on the screen a few moments later, and not 30 seconds after that I hear Dick on the headpiece. "Oracle, send help now."
"Coming right up." I press the panic button and the bat-mobile takes off by itself to go get them. "Help is on the way. Just hold on." I see Dick's light start flashing red and his vitals drop on the screen. "Dick hold in there. The bat-mobile will make contact with you guys in 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1. I see the bat-mobile flash onto the screen and take off with Helena and Dick in tow.
"Dick are you alright, should I have Alfred on the ready when you arrive."
"Yes please Babs. Thank you." I get Alfred into the Batcave and explain what happened. He doesn't seem shocked.
"It's always harder than it should be to trick the Joker Miss Gordon." When the bat-mobile arrives, Alfred sets into action as I follow Helena up the stairs. I have a bone to pick with that bitch.
I go up the elevator and pop out right behind Helena. "Hey, What the fuck is your issue with me?" She turns around like a lioness about to pounce.
"I have no problem with you other than the way you bring Dick down." I snarl like an animal.
"I just saved both of your skins, and I bring him down! That's real rich. Now what is the real reason?"
"No you bring him down because he needs to move on, yet he gives you a ride and pushes your pathetic, useless ass up the hill everyday." I know I look hurt, her mission is accomplished and she turns to leave, but all of the sudden I'm just full of rage. I whip my arm across her knees and send her toppling to the ground. As soon as I do it I know I've bitten off more than I can chew.
She grabs me by the hair and lifts me out of the wheelchair holding me dangling in the air. "You're a worthless, pathetic, useless bitch. You think you can still be useful, then be useful by leaving. You're not part of the family anymore, you're just a charity, your father asked Bruce to have you do anything, something, but you're a nothing, one of Bruce's little failed works of pity." Just then Alfred walks in and pushes Helena back and lifts me back into my chair.
"I'm to ashamed to express at both of you girls." He just walks away. Helena stalks off angry, I wait until she's out of sight before I burst into tears at what she has said and Go towards the door. I stop before I open it and send my dad another text, "Can you come get me?" He replies almost immediately.
"I'm in the neighborhood actually, I'll be there in a second." I open the door and Dick is standing there. He sees my tears and panics as he always does.
"Babs, are you alright?" I try not to get any worse for wear, but I break down even more.
"Not even close. Don't come get me anymore. I'm done being a charity case, I'm not part of this family anymore." I see my dad's police cruiser pull up to the gate.
"If that's what you want." He sounds sad, but he was fine with agreeing with everything Helena said earlier.
"Yeah, you just stay with Helena, You agree on so much, she's perfect for you. At least now I finally have an answer as to why you left me." I start down the hill and I see my dad already out of the car and ready to put my wheelchair in the back.
THE NEXT NIGHT
I hear my cell phone ringing and I answer in a foggy haze. I answer, "Hey it's Bruce."
"Hey, what's up?"
"What happened Babs?" He sounds so concerned, just like he always does. How should I break this to him.
"Your bitch of a daughter." There, that was subtle.
"What happened though, I know you two don't exactly get along…"
"I lost my temper after she said some horrible things and I pushed her down, and she grabbed me by the hair and told me why I was really was Oracle..."
"Do you want to know why you're Oracle, Babs."
"Because my father asked for a favor and you owed him, and because you remember how great I was and didn't want me to lose myself completely."
"No. You're Oracle because I can't afford to lose you. You're a part of this team and you know it. Me, you and Dick. We were always a team. And He needs you just as much." I swallow hard.
"Is it really bad that I don't believe you…" Helena's words swirl in my head around and around. Just a charity.
"No it's not. I can understand why you don't believe me. But you should at least consider the possibility. You'll always be Batgirl to me. And to Dick. He needs you Babs. I think you even know that he needs you." He makes it so easy to believe him, but I remember what Dick agreed to last night and new tears spring up again.
"He doesn't need me, ask him what he agreed with over and over again last night. He thinks I'm just as useless as Helena said"
"Have you asked him yourself?" What a Batman thing to say. I know what I heard.
"Why should I have to. He said it, he didn't even know I was listening..."
"Babs... He needs you more than you know. If you don't want to continue the work I understand. Dick can't do anything for about a week while he heals so I guess if you want to continue you have a vacation."
"I'll tell you at the end of the week then... I'm sorry Bruce... I just, I need some time to mope around and hate myself." I sniffle and try to remain calm. I hate how words can hurt so much. I used to be made of steel.
"If you're sure Babs..."
"Bruce, a few months ago nothing could hurt me. Now I'm soft and words cut me like a knife… Any idea what happened?"
"Well, what do you have in mind?"
"That now I'm soft because my legs don't work and everything about me is uglier."
"Love yourself again." Wow Bruce, it's like he has no idea how anything works emotionally.
"Thanks Bruce, I'll get on that."
"Maybe talk to Dick, it might help"
"Or it may get a million times worse."
"You never know though. He's going to be pretty down this week. And you know how he gets when he is down."
"I don't want to talk to other sad people Bruce. That is the last thing I need right now."
"Alright, try to cheer up alright?"
"Okay Bruce, bye."
My dad walks into the kitchen, he doesn't think I should quit either. "You know Babs, I'll support you no matter what, but I don't think you're a quitter, no matter what ever happened you never quit." He smiles his half know it all smile and sips his coffee.
"Yeah, I know, Dad."
Dick POV
It's been days since I've seen Barbara last. To be honest, I feel like a complete asshole because of the last time I saw her. My shoulder is destroyed for the meantime and I partially hope it doesn't get better any time soon. I don't need a reason to go out and be Batman. I don't want to be Batman anymore. I should have just stayed away from the whole situation from the beginning.
I move myself off of my bed just as there is a knock on the door. Oh god, I really don't want to deal with anyone right now. I move as slowly to my front door as possible listening to the creaks in my floorboards and my joints popping from my restless sleep the night before. I open the door slowly only to reveal the one person I really didn't want to see. It takes everything I have not to just shut the door again. "Hey, Barbara…"
She is winded and there is a visible shaking in her arms. She must have wheeled herself here. "Hey, can I have a word?" Yeah, she came here on a mission. She really shouldn't have. "I'm just really sorry about all of this. Getting you shot and all…"
"Babs, I'm fine… Don't worry about it." In all honesty I look like crap. I haven't been able to do much and I have no motivation what so ever.
"Okay, I just feel responsible. Do you forgive me?" I don't need to forgive her, she didn't do anything wrong.
"Babs, like I said, don't worry about it. I'm just fine."
"But do you accept my apology? I'm also sorry for starting shit with Helena…" She needs to stop being sorry. She didn't do anything.
"Yeah… And don't worry about her. She needs it occasionally."
"Yeah I guess… Still want to be my partner?" Is this her missing me? No, she can't possibly miss me.
"…I'm not exactly sure I'm going back…" I move my good arm up to scratch my head lightly. I hope she doesn't get mad at me for this. It's the last thing I need right now.
"What…why?" She seems slightly stunned and upset by my sudden change of heart.
"I just don't know if I can do this… you know? I'm not good at this. Hell, I don't even want to be Nightwing. I just don't love what I do anymore." I look down at my feet so I don't have to make eye contact. I'm sure she is really upset now.
"Oh I see. That's good I guess. You should do what makes you happy Dick."
"That's the thing though. I don't know what makes me happy anymore." I'm spewing again. I should just shut up. She doesn't need to know this. Just like how Helena and me have been seeing each other on and off…
"I'm sure you'll figure it out Dick. You're good at that." She flashes this quick little smile at me. For a second it feels like the old days where she always supported me and loved to see me happy. Now I'm sure she'd just love to see me gone. All I did was ruin her life.
"Yeah I hope so…I'm not really good at anything so that rules out a giant chunk of the list."
She smiles again, but this time it is sincere and it pokes at this little spot in my chest that hasn't been seen in a long while. " You're good at a lot of things. Maybe try the circus again. Maybe try something completely different for awhile." You know, that is a…really good idea. I've been missing the circus for quite some time now. Maybe she is right. Something new can't be too bad.
"Yeah… Maybe you're right. I miss the circus a lot actually." I give her a toothy grin. She is so helpful at times. I don't know how I live without her. I wish I could have my Babs back though. Leaving her was the biggest mistake of my life.
She gives a grin almost identical to mine and it pokes at my chest again. "I'm glad. I hope it works out for you. Can I get a hug before you go?"
"Of course. I'm not just going to just leave you hanging. You're my girl." I don't know why on earth I said that but it makes the prodding in my chest stop for a moment. It feels good to say it.
"Thanks." She smiles bigger this time. Her cheeks even turn a slight pink color around the cute amount of freckles. I wish I could let her know that I still love her but that would probably be a bit too much for her. So I just bend down as much as I can and slide my arms around her slim torso. I pull her gently into my arms and about die when I realize what I'm doing. My head rests itself against her shoulder and her warm smell envelopes me. I missed hugging her…
"Can I still call you every so often?"
A small sigh escaped her lips along with an "Anytime you want." I don't want to let her go but I probably should. I shouldn't be over touchy. I set her back down in her chair and debate in my head quickly on whether I should kiss her or not but obviously my heart loses to my mind.
"Can I drive you home please? It'll give me a reason to get out of the house." I smile playfully at my poor attempts of flirting. Hopefully she doesn't notice it.
"Okay, sure. I'm not sure I could wheel back anyway."
"Alright. Then I will be happy to escort you home." Now I feel like a dweeb. I give a really cheesy smile in hopes of getting her to smile.
"Alright…" She is all quiet again. Okay…I should know better than to flirt with her. She doesn't like it. I don't blame her though…
"Yeah…" I grab my keys off of the hook next to the door and get ready for a very awkward drive to her place.