Cursed to Relive

Chapter 4

Aftermath

Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own the Harry Potter Series.

Marigold Evans sighed deeply as she opened the door to her nine year-old daughter's room; the call from Lily's history teacher had been loud indeed, and highly nervewracking besides. According to him, Lily had somehow hit Jeremy so hard that he had broken his left leg, needing to be taken to the hospital.

Although the man was at a loss for how it could have happened, given that the other children had claimed that Lily had been far away from where Jeremy had ended up, Marigold had her suspicions...

Crossing her arms as she leaned against the Lily's doorframe in support (and more than mild anxiety), she said exasperatedly, "Lily, could you please explain to me what happened today?"

Lily whirled around to look at her mother with worried green eyes for a moment, before turning back to the window she had been staring at, her eyes more than a little red. Biting her lip, Lily then asked in a quiet, defeated tone of voice, eyes looking everywhere but at Marigold's face, "Err, what do you mean, mum?"

Temper rising, Lily's mother counted to ten, then said in a deadpan voice, "I got a phone call from your school teacher, Mr. Johnson, today; apparently, you and Jeremy Tibbit had a little incident during recess. Care to explain?" For a moment, there was a silence.

"I...I dunno. H-he was just... He shoved me, right? I just...I dunno..." Lily started babbling, face turning pale and eyes filling with tears as Marigold tried to listen patiently.

Meanwhile, Lily continued frantically, arms wrapping tightly around her small body as she sobbed, "...He shoved me...and I was angry, and I didn't mean it or nothing! But...I wanted to shove him back. He had insulted Betsy and I got mad, but I...I was too weak. I couldn't push him, but somehow I wanted him to be shoved...and he went flying into that swing-set. I didn't mean to do it, I swear!" By now she was almost shrieking out her words, they were so high-pitched. Any semblance of a coherent story had vanished into hysteria.

Realizing this was getting them nowhere, Marigold quickly pulled Lily into a hug, whispering comfortingly as she patted her on the back, "There, there... Lily, it's OK. I'm sure that you didn't mean to do it..."

Hiccuping slightly, Lily whispered in a muffled tone of voice-muffled because her face was crushed into her mother's chest, "O-of course I d-didn't. I didn't mean it...I di-didn't..."

Sitting down on Lily's small bed as her daughter continued to cry, rocking her as she held her, Marigold waited for the tears to subside. After nearly a minute, with no sign of abatement, she whispered softly, "Don't worry, Littlest Flower, everything's going to be alright. Just make sure that you don't try doing things like that again; I had Petunia trying to keep on eye on you for a reason after all..."

Looking crestfallen, Lily looked up at her blond mother with pleading eyes, "But...but that was just flowers and stuff! It wasn't hurting anyone!"

Rubbing soothing circles on the redheaded little girl's back, the middle-aged parent sighed as she said quietly, "Lily, we don't know what's causing this...strangeness about you. Until we do, you have got to be more careful about it. I mean, what if the neighbors found out about this? We'd be laughed at, a lot."

For a moment, Lily looked as though she were about to protest, but then she sighed and said, "Al-alright, I'll try not to do any of that...stuff, especially nothing which can hurt anyone."

"That's a good girl, Littlest Flower." Marigold then smirked slightly, squeezing Lily's arm for a moment as she changed the subject with a chuckle. "Now, go and get ready for supper. We've got to make sure that you get a nice, big dinner. After all, you're a growing girl, aren't you?"

Lily hiccuped once more, but she shook her head with a watery smile as she said valiantly, "Yup, I sure am!" She then ran to the door of her room and shouted, "Hey, Tuney! Mum says it's time for supper-"

"Time to get ready for supper." corrected her mother, forcing a small smile.

Grinning sheepishly, Lily corrected herself with another shout, "Err, time to get READY for supper I mean. Come on Tuney! I bet I'll be ready faster!"

As the now-excited little girl raced out of the room, preparing herself for dinner, Marigold felt her smile start to fade. Lily's...strangeness had always greatly concerned her, but this was the first time that she had actually hurt anybody. "I just hope that it doesn't become a habit..." she whispered to herself. She didn't want to admit it, not even to herself, but she was starting to feel a little bit afraid around her youngest daughter...

Perhaps it was time now to take some steps to deal with the situation, especially as Lily's teacher had been quite clear that Lily would likely get expelled for her actions...not that Marigold could blame him. After all, what teacher in their right mind would sit around and do nothing when someone was nearly killed?

Richard and her had considered putting Lily into home-schooling if something went wrong; perhaps now was the time to actually go through with it...

'It...It's real, isn't it? All of it, this is all real. Voldemort wouldn't have allowed a change like that if this were a nightmare realm; that sort of thing just can't be controlled. There's no way that this would have lasted as long as it has if it were a near-death experience. What else is there? It just has to be bloody real...' Severus thought to himself dazedly.

It didn't seem possible, even as he laid back in his bed, unmoving as he stared up at the ceiling. 'I...I really can change what happened...even if it's only for the worse...'

He then whispered aloud, knowing that he was safe from eavesdroppers because there was nothing going on worth listening in on, "It might have been better if it were fake though. What a mess last night was... If mum had hit that table, then...then she would've died. If it's real...then that's another person who I could've failed."

Severus swallowed as he remembered that particular incident: the blood from his mother's broken nose covering her face, his utter paralysis from shock, his father's frantic yells for god to forgive him as the two of them worked together to patch up Eileen, all the while ordering Severus not to call an ambulance.

It...it had been terrifying for Severus, even after an entire lifetime to harden himself to death, having been forced to kill the second person he had truly considered to be a real friend--not that Dumbledore had considered him to be a friend, preferring an effective tool to true friendship. Still, it was one thing to stay stoic in the face of someone he didn't care about getting hurt, but when it was someone he did care about...

Severus shivered. He had almost killed someone he cared about, again. 'Even now, she might still die... It's been hours since she was knocked unconscious. What if she doesn't wake up? Should I have called the ambulance anyway? Should I call them now? She doesn't seem to be in any danger, but what if...?'

He looked at his mother, unsteady breathing interspersed with periodic soft, pained moans. Tobias had gone downstairs for a 'pick-me-up' about two hours ago, after carrying his wife upstairs, leaving Severus alone with her. 'No...it's too late, too late again, just like always... Even if I called them now...it would be too late if she's about to die, and they would just get in her way if she needed to heal herself with magic.'

Indeed, Tobias had quietly gone up to the attic sometime during the night, fetching the wand that he normally kept hidden in a locked chest and bringing it down to the master bedroom. Apparently, his normal dislike of magic had for once taken a backseat to simple necessity; now Eileen's wand laid on the bedsided table, dark wood shining slightly in the moonlight that provided the only illumination.

'Besides,' Severus thought bitterly, hating how his father had left Eileen to fend for herself. 'if Eileen heals herself, he doesn't have to think about what he has done-'

"S...Se...Severus? Is that you?" Eileen's voice was weak, but she managed to sit up nonetheless, blinking slowly at her son. Apparently noticing the terrible wound disfiguring her face, she suddenly hissed in pain. "What the hell!? Did an elephant sit on my face or something!? Oh MERLIN, that hurts!"

Unable to keep the bitter anger from his voice, Severus spoke coldly, yet softly, "That was a 'gift' from father. Must've been particularly sloshed last night... He didn't hit so hard last time..." As he said this, he felt another jolt of icy guilt hit him; his mother would probably think that he was referring to the last time that Tobias got this drunk and angry, but Severus knew better. If it hadn't been for him, for his actions, then maybe...

Breaking off from these depressing thoughts, Severus continued brusquely, "He left your wand so that you could fix yourself up. Apparently 'freakish witchery' only matters when-"

"Not now, Severus!" Eileen snapped as she groped around blindly for her wand with one hand, her other one clutching her head. "You know how Tobias can be when drunk. Besides," she suddenly seemed to recall something. "I think that Manchester U. lost the game, didn't they? He would have been really angry after that, wouldn't he have?"

As he grabbed her wand and offered it to her, Severus couldn't stop himself from commenting with a bitter sneer, "He did say that he lost some money betting on them, but he still shouldn't have hit you! You nearly died after all..."

"Severus..." said his mother in a warning tone of voice, before muttering a quick wound-closing charm as she glanced in the mirror by her bedside table. Her nose healed for the moment, at least until she got a better look at it, Eileen sighed in relief.

She then turned to Severus and said softly, a slightly-pained smile on her face, "I'm sure that it was just an accident. You know he doesn't mean it; he just has a temper, and when he gets really pissed, he can lose it if he gets provoked badly enough. I'm more worried about you, Severus. Are you OK?"

"I'm OK, mother, but..." trailing off, Severus fell silent, glaring angrily. He didn't know why he bothered; he knew it was futile. His mother never listened to him about his father in his past life after all. Why should this one be any different?

Sighing, he muttered, "Nevermind. Father's probably piss-drunk again already, so just go back to sleep. You need your rest after all..."

Nodding, Eileen gave her son a small squeeze on his shoulder, whispering, "See you in the morning then, Severus..."

Holding her hand for a brief moment, Severus walked over to a nearby chair and sat down on it heavily. 'Well...at least this time no-one died due to my foolishness... That's one bright spot...'

Eileen would find her son still there when she woke up later, having stayed there the whole night.

Lily sat quietly at her desk, working on one of the arithmetic problems that her mother had furnished for her self-study since she couldn't go to school anymore. It was something about how they were afraid that the other students would be mean to her, perhaps trying to hurt her for her weirdness. She didn't blame them; only a few of her friends had stuck by her after that day...

It was...sad that she couldn't see her few remaining friends much anymore because of this, she being only able to see them outside of school and if she had been a good girl, but Lily understood what her parents were thinking. She had hurt Jeremy very, very badly with her abilities, and this was what she deserved for it. They didn't need to say it, as Lily already knew the truth in her heart...

Still, that didn't mean that she had to be bored the whole time, and she frequently spent time having fun; it was just that her fun was more...solitary than it had been before, that's all. After she got done with today's arithmetic problems, Lily planned to play with Betsy for a bit, before seeing if there was anything in which she could help her mother. Although housework wasn't a whole lot of fun, it made her mother smile a lot, something her mother hadn't done often of late.

'Besides, it's the sort of thing good girls do...' Lily thought to herself with a smirk. 'If nothing else, Mum'll probably be real pleased if I help her with cleaning up after supper again!'

"Hey...doing your schoolwork?" Lily turned around at the sound of her father's voice, seeing the overweight man standing at her bedroom door. "I know I'm supposed to knock, but..." He trailed off, appearing awkward much like he had been ever since the incident. Still, he had a smile on his face, so Lily knew it was nothing bad.

"It's alright, daddy," Lily said with a grin, "I'm just about done with it, and I haven't had any trouble with it, not at all! In fact, it's really kinda easy once you get the hang of it. I mean, Tuney complains about it so much-" Lily abruptly fell silent, unable to continue as she was reminded of the problems with her sister.

Petunia had taken it pretty hard when Jeremy told her that he didn't want to play with her anymore because of her 'monstrous freak of a sister!'; apparently, she had had a huge crush on the pig-eyed boy, and since Lily's weirdness had been the reason he wouldn't talk to her anymore, Lily had been the one to blame in her sister's eyes. As such, she hadn't spoken to Lily at all for several weeks afterward; even now she only spoke to Lily when it was absolutely necessary.

Apparently realizing why his daughter had fallen silent, Richard Evans quickly changed the subject, "Well, that's good I suppose, but don't work too hard now. Your mum might be a workaholic, but that doesn't mean that you need to be." His smile, which had faded slightly, suddenly rebounded. "On a lighter note, your mother told me to tell you that she's making roast beef and Yorkshire pudding tonight; it should be ready in about ten minutes, so you'd better go wash up."

Lily nodded dutifully, shutting her workbook and preparing to leave; however, her father put a hand on her shoulder, frowning slightly. He then asked softly, a worried note creeping into his voice, "Lily, are you OK? I mean, how is this treating you? We're sorry that your friends have been..." He trailed off for a moment, before continuing in a different tone of voice, a much cheerier one, "What would you say to having some ice cream with your dear old dad tonight? We haven't done that in a while. Perhaps the two of us could even play a game of chess together or something. How about it?"

Her grin returning instantly, Lily nodded excitedly. "And I'll kick your bum too, dad! Last time was clearly just a setback!" It was almost a requirement that the two of them trash talk each other before the latest 'match of the century!', and now was no exception.

"Not a chance, Lily, not a CHANCE!" her father responded in kind, an ear-to-ear grin visible on his face as he turned round. However, he suddenly paused, clapping a hand to his balding forehead. "Oh! I almost forgot to tell you this...but how would you like to go shopping with me this Saturday? Your mom's using up the last of our roast beef tonight, and I was thinking that we might want to get some more for our Sunday dinner. You know how much both of us like roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, eh Lily?"

Giggling, Lily said eagerly, "Sure, sounds like fun!" She then smirked slightly. "But if you don't let me go wash up, I won't be able to have any tonight..."

"Found out again! My treacherous plans to steal the feast have been quashed by the brilliant princess!" said Richard dramatically, causing Lily's giggles to turn into peals of laughter. Laughing along with her, he grinned as he continued, "Well, run along then, princess, or your meal might 'mysteriously' vanish!"

Laughter fairly bubbling from her, Lily raced away, a truly happy smile on her face for the first time in ages...

'This is strange.' Severus thought to himself, frowning as he sipped at his milk at breakfast. Avoiding the eyes of his father, which these days seemed to show disgust more often than even in his original life, Severus carefully observed his mother. She was actually smiling, and it wasn't because she was watching one of her programs, but at this pathetic excuse for a family get-together. 'What is going on with her? It's...odd.'

Although Tobias generally avoided the rest of his family, hating their 'weird strangenes' and magic', he had always made it a point for all of them to eat breakfast together. Usually, it was a quiet meal, none of the three talking to one another, a pathetic mockery of the families portrayed in the television programs that Severus had started watching...

Severus then snorted at the still-surprising thought, causing his mother to look at him quizzically a moment before returning to her meal. 'Hard to believe that after spending years bleeding myself dry for victory over the Dark Lord, I now spend my free time watching bloody chick flicks...'

In hindsight, it was easy for Severus to understand why Eileen watched them; it was nice to see the romantic dramas of other people and imagine what a life like that could have been like if he had been a more...deserving person. Maybe if he had been smarter, more handsome, nicer...hadn't driven away and killed the woman he loved...

Severus' depressing thoughts were suddenly halted by the sound of his father's voice, the man sweeping the table with a stern glare as he spoke in a tired tone of voice. "Eileen, I'm goin' to be bringing some of my co-workers over next weekend for union business. Sat'rday, I think. Make sur' that you an' Severus aren't underfoot or anythin' like that."

"Yes, Tobias, we'll stay out of you boys' way." Eileen said obediently, her eyes dull as her voice. However, she then brightened slightly, before turning to Severus, "How about we make a day of it, Severus? It might be fun!" She then glanced back at her husband, who was clearly listening intently. "You wouldn't mind, would you, Tobias?"

Tobias paused for a moment, then shrugged. Getting up he muttered, "Do what'ver you wan'. I've gotta get goin' to the mill though, so don't pester me 'bout it, OK?" The man then shoved his chair back into its proper place under the table, before putting action to words and striding away with his normal heavy steps.

It was apparently back to normal at the Snape family house, just like it had been in the months since the Intercontinental Cup incident. Once again, he only ever hit her when he got really drunk and angry, most of the time just yelling at her if he was cross. 'Still, that is no excuse and never should have been one, not that it seems to matter much to her...' Severus thought to himself heatedly, unable to keep himself from glaring at his porridge.

Lost in thought, Severus missed the sound of the front door clicking shut. However, that didn't keep him from hearing when his mother asked curiously, "So, Severus, what would you like to do together?" She frowned for a moment, then spoke on thoughtfully, "You know, other than watching programs with me, I don't know much about what sort of things you like..."

Severus found himself unable to speak, not knowing what to say. In his 'past life', he had amused himself by horsing around with Lily, sometimes reading up on spells and hexes so that he would be ready to impress everyone when he arrived at Hogwarts. He had rarely talked with his mother save for when he wanted something from her, however in this life he had found himself spending most of his time just watching television programs with Eileen and doing simple housework.

Really, it was actually rather boring, but he didn't have any interest in what other boys his age would have, and it would be awfully strange if he started acting like the adult he was in truth. Still, he needed to say something, so finally swallowing, he whispered quietly, "I...I'm not sure. Anything you'd like, I suppose."

His mother 'hmmm'd' for a moment, a finger delicately placed to her lips. Seeming to think about it, she then asked, "How about the two of us go shopping together then? And maybe go out for ice cream together afterward. Would you like to bring any friends of yours around?" Her voice then soured slightly, although Severus doubted that many people would have noticed. "Whatever happened to that red-headed girl you told me about, Tilly? Lillian? You know, the one you said was a witch but didn't know it."

Severus froze; he had forgotten about how he had told his mother about Lily before he had actually gone up to talk to her. What should he tell her? He didn't want to go into his past life, at least not right then. Still, he didn't want to lie, not to her...

In the end, he decided to tell her a half-truth, telling her what happened originally. "Err...I went up to talk to her, but she didn't want to talk to me. I kinda insulted her sister though... It's probably for the best anyway."

Her mother frowned at this, although Severus could tell that she was secretly quite pleased. It was quite understandable, as his mother had never cared much for Muggles or Muggleborns, apart from her husband that is--that more out of willful denial than actual mutual affection. Lily had been no exception to Eileen's, so it was little surprise when the woman nodded in satisfaction. "It probably is for the best, but that can't have been fun, could it? Silly little Muggle-spawn, to be honest. You'd be better off with real friends, not childish little girls like her..."

Even though it had apparently been an entire lifetime since the incident, Severus couldn't help but try to defend Lily. "I called her sister a Muggle, and Lily a witch. They probably thought that I was trying to call them names and such. It's not there fault that I was vague..."

Eileen gave Severus a thoughtful look for a moment, then shrugged. "Did you apologize, Severus? Apologizing and telling people you're sorry always helps..."

Severus slowly shook his head, although he actually had done so originally, explaining that he hadn't meant to insult them or anything.

To this, his mother tutted thoughtfully, shaking her head in bemusement. "Oh well, it's probably for the best anyway; she sounds too head-strong to make much of a friend. Now then, as for this weekend..."

"Maybe...maybe you're right, mum..." Unwilling to say anything more, Severus nodded slowly, merely watching as his mother rattled off plans for the next weekend. Eileen didn't know of how he had harmed Lily so greatly, in so many ways... Besides, he had other matters to attend to, such as the way his mother was acting; it was the most excited that he had seen her in either lifetime, and Severus couldn't figure out why... 'This is so strange...'

Still, that didn't mean that he wouldn't figure out in the end. He had been a very good spy after all.

Author's Note: I'm still not quite sure if I got some of the formatting correct or not, even with the help of my brilliant and lovely beta Anachronistic Anglophile. Nonetheless, I wanted to give all of you guys a nice little gift for the holidays. Hope you have a great Christmas!

As for other comments, there's a significant time-jump between the first two and second two scenes, in case you're wondering as to how they appear so different.

I welcome any and all reviews, the more thorough the better=). I'm unsure whether to focus on this or Law of Unintended Consequences though...so updates might be a tad complicated.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!