A/N (05/19/15): Hello friends! As hard as it is to believe, it's been about two and a half years since I last updated one of my stories. My sincere apologies to all of my loyal readers for essentially dropping off the face of the earth, and thank you to everyone who kept reading, reviewing, and messaging me while I was lost in "real life", whatever that is!

I am working my way through this story, tweaking it slightly to take it in a direction that will better bring it to the conclusion I always intended it to reach. I'll be posting the updated versions of the existing chapters in batches until it's all caught up and we get back into new material. Most of the changes are minor in the first 15 or so chapters, but there are a few bigger changes in the later chapters of this new version. So even if you've read the story before, I encourage you to start at the beginning and work your way forward - I'll date all the updated chapters as they go up, so that it is clear what has been updated. Thank you all for your patience!

Addison hesitated slightly as she approached the nurses' station on the surgical floor. Derek had been carefully avoiding her ever since their breakfast a few days earlier, and she wasn't sure whether he was going to bolt at the first opportunity now.

"Good morning, Derek."

Derek nodded and glanced up from the chart he was studying. "Addison."

"We missed you at Thanksgiving dinner this year."

Derek shrugged. "We were short-staffed. I was in surgery."

"Too bad. Ryan didn't even burn anything down this year."

"You're never going to let him forget that year, are you?"

Addison grinned and shook her head. "Hey, if he was stupid enough to think he could deep fry a turkey in a New York City backyard, he has to know I'm going to make fun of him. There is no statute of limitations on that, I think."

"I'm glad I never tried much cooking when we were married, then."

"Nice try, but I know you're a great cook. Your mother never would have had it any other way."

"Well, I did have four sisters. There wasn't much else being offered beyond cooking lessons."

"Speaking of which…Nancy called me the other day."

Derek was silent, waiting for Addison to continue. "And…?"

"She wanted to know if I thought you were ever going to pull your head out of your ass. Apparently you've made Megan quite upset."

Derek rolled his eyes. "Heaven forbid we upset the baby."

"Derek, they're concerned, that's all."

"I'm fine, Addison. How many different ways do I have to tell them to back off? Even when they're not speaking to me, they're checking up on me."

"Maybe if you'd…" Addison's voice trailed off as she glanced over Derek's shoulder and caught sight of one of the last people she'd ever expected to see again walking down the hallway.

"If I'd what?"

"Oh my God," Addison muttered, the color draining from her face.

"What's the…?" Derek's question went unfinished as at almost the same moment that he turned to follow Addison's gaze, a strong fist connected with his jaw, knocking him flat on his back.

"What the hell?!" Addison instantly dropped to her knees at Derek's side, helping him sit up before looking up at the man standing over them. "Mark?"

"This is so lame! Do I have to go, Mom?"

Meredith smiled and nodded, gently pushing her son toward the door.

"Yes, Jack, you have to go. You know, family bonding and all that mumbo-jumbo."

"How come you don't have to go?"

Meredith leaned over, pressing her lips up next to his ear as though to whisper a secret. "Because I'm the mom, that's why. Now go get in the car."

"But…"

"And I'd better hear that you behaved for Aunt Lexie, okay?"

"Fine," he grumbled, grabbing his backpack and heading out the front door.

"I love you!" Meredith called after him, smiling when he shouted the same back to her before climbing into Lexie's waiting car.

After watching her sister drive away with her son and daughters, Meredith closed the front door and headed into the living room, opening the laptop she'd left waiting on the coffee table.

This had always been a quiet day for Meredith. Every year on the Sunday after Thanksgiving, her children had all piled into the car and gone Christmas shopping with their father. This year, Lexie had volunteered to fill the void in their little group – Meredith only hoped it didn't blow up in her sister's face.

Despite the move, she'd tried hard to maintain some sense of normalcy in their lives. They still went to the same schools, hung out with the same friends, played in the same sports leagues…but there were still days, like today, where she wondered if it was all in vain. The fact of the matter was that nothing in their lives had been normal since March, and she doubted there was anything she could do to change that.

When she really thought about it, there were times that the whole situation seemed just too ironic to be real. It had been a shooting that helped her fall in love with him, and it had been a shooting that had taken him from her in the end. People often talked of traumatic memories in vague terms, unable to remember specific details – Meredith wished that were true for her. She could still remember every last detail about those few minutes that had turned her world on its head…

She stood just inside the door and glanced around the crowded bar before looking down at her watch and shaking her head. She'd been running a few minutes late, so she'd hoped he would have beaten her here, but that clearly wasn't the case. It was one of the bigger problems of having a marriage of two surgeons – if one wasn't late, the other almost always was.

"Let me guess, the usual?" Joe slung and towel over his shoulder as she slipped onto a bar stool to wait.

"Joe, when have I ever ordered anything else?"

"When you were pregnant or breast-feeding."

"Well, let me make this clear – I am not now, nor will I ever again, be pregnant or breast-feeding."

"Hey, you never know!" Joe threw up his hands defensively.

"Joe, I'm pushing fifty. That boat sailed a long time ago, thank you very much. Four is plenty for me."

"I don't doubt it, Meredith. My two keep me busy enough, I can only imagine having double that."

"Let's just say, there's a reason the day I stop ordering tequila will be the day they stick me in my grave."

Joe grinned at her. "That's my girl."

"Sorry, Joe, she's taken."

Meredith smiled warmly as a pair of arms wrap around her waist from behind and she felt a chin come to rest on her shoulder. Instinctively, she leaned back against his chest as Joe laughed and turned to answer a call from the other end of the bar.

"I don't think you have to worry about Joe. Walter keeps a pretty close eye on him."

"You never know. My wife's a pretty hot lady."

"Is that so?" Meredith spun around on her barstool so that they were face to face. "Sounds like you're a lucky guy, Dr. Avery."

"Oh, you have no idea, Dr. Grey." Jackson grinned as he leaned down and kissed her softly. "No idea."

"Rough day?" Meredith asked knowingly, hearing the tension in his voice.

"We lost a kid," Jackson admitted wearily. "He was Jack's age, on his way home from school…"

Meredith nodded and wrapped an arm around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder. "You want to go home?" she whispered.

"What? No, we're supposed to be celebrating tonight," Jackson insisted. "I'm fine, Meredith, don't worry about me."

"I didn't say we weren't still going to celebrate." Meredith smiled mischievously. "But hey, if you'd rather sit in a stuffy restaurant with a bunch of other people than be alone with me our sound-proof bedroom…"

Meredith let out a small shriek of surprise as her husband lifted her off the barstool.

"You should have started with the sound-proof bedroom," he said as he set her down and tossed some money on the bar. "Wanna see how fast the car can go?"

"Hell yes."

Jackson laughed and slipped his arm around her waist as they began to head toward the door. She smiled as she leaned naturally into his side, slipping her hand into his back pocket as they walked.

Meredith almost didn't recognize the loud sound that echoed through the bar a split second later. Whirling around, recognition hit her as she watched the room erupt in terror. People were screaming, rushing frantically past them, when she saw the gunman on the other side of the room turn toward the door she and Jackson were standing in front of.

The next thing she knew, she was hitting the ground so hard she was certain there'd be ugly bruises on her back for weeks to come. Turning her head, she let out a cry of terror at the sight of the blood covering her husband's white shirt.

She quickly scrambled to her knees and crawled to his side, pressing her hands on top of the hole the bullet had ripped in his chest.

"Jackson…look at me, baby," she pleaded with him. "Jackson…"

"Mer…" His voice was weak, barely audible above the chaos in the bar.

"Hang on, Jackson. Help is coming, it is…we're right across the street, they'll be here soon…just keep fighting, Jackson."

"Love you…" Jackson reached a shaky hand up and grabbed her wrist, pulling her close to his face even as she fought to keep pressure on his wound.

"Jackson, I…"

"Kiss me," he whispered pleadingly. "Last…last time…"

"No, don't you do this! Jackson, you have to fight!"

"Mer…please…too much…"

Meredith fought back her tears as she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, feeling his hand cup the side of her face for just a moment before it fell to the ground.

"Jackson…I love you…" Meredith whispered tearfully, brushing her hand against his cheek, grabbing his hand and pressing it to her chest while she held eye contact for as long as she could.

He opened his mouth as if he were going to respond, but nothing more than a garbled noise came out before she felt his hand go limp in hers.

The splash of something wet on her arms jolted Meredith out of her memories, and she realized with a start that she was crying again. She hadn't known it was possible for a single person to produce as many tears as she had in the past eight months. Every time she thought she might be all cried out, another moment came along to remind her that the grieving process never truly ends.

With a sigh, she closed the laptop she had just opened, knowing she wasn't likely to get any work done that morning.

She was about to lie down on the couch for a nap instead when the doorbell rang, almost startling her out of her seat.

Glancing in the mirror in the front hallway, she shook her head at her disheveled appearance. She took a swipe at her tearstained cheeks, but it seemed to only make their redness worse. Smoothing her hair, she figured whoever at the door was just going to have to deal with her as-is.

Pulling the front door open, she gasped at the sight in front of her.

"Hi Mom," her visitor said quietly, nervously rocking back on her heels as she stood in front of her.

"Annie?"