A/N (05/22/16): Hello friends! As hard as it is to believe, it's been over three and a half years since I last updated this story. My sincere apologies to all of my loyal readers for essentially dropping off the face of the earth, and thank you to everyone who kept reading, reviewing, and messaging me while I was lost in "real life", whatever that is!

I am working my way through this story, tweaking it slightly to take it in a direction that will better bring it to the conclusion I always intended it to reach. I'll be posting the updated versions of the existing chapters in batches until it's all caught up and we get back into new material. Most of the changes are minor in the first 15 or so chapters, but there are a few slightly more substantial changes in the later chapters of this new version. So even if you've read the story before, I encourage you to start at the beginning and work your way forward - I'll date all the updated chapters as they go up, so that it is clear what has been updated. Thank you all for your patience!

Having successfully barricaded herself in her office for most of the morning, Meredith didn't bother to look up from her computer screen when she heard the knock on her door around lunch time.

"It's open," she called out, waiting until she heard the door creak open before adding without looking, "Yes, I know what time it is, and no, I'm not hungry."

"Then I guess it's a good thing I didn't bring food."

Meredith's head shot up and her face flushed with embarrassment at the unexpected voice. "Derek. I…I thought you were one of my sisters."

"Wow." Derek chuckled and leaned against the doorframe. "Can't say that's a response I get all that often."

Meredith's fingers pressed tightly around the corner of the notepad she'd instinctively reached for from her desk, nearly ripping it apart as she tried to steady her nerves. "What are you doing here, Derek?"

"I was hoping we could talk."

"I'm busy."

"Can't the charts or whatever it is wait an hour or so?"

"Not really, no."

Derek shook his head and stepped into the office, closing the door behind him as he did. "Look, I haven't forgotten what you said the other night, Meredith. But as much as you might not want anything to do with me, the fact is that sooner or later, you are going to have to talk to me."

"A…about what?" Meredith stammered slightly.

"Our daughters."

Meredith stiffened. "My daughters."

"Our daughters," Derek corrected firmly. "Whether you like it or not, they're my daughters too."

Meredith nodded and spun her chair around so she was facing the row of pictures on the bookcase behind her. "You think I don't know that?" she asked, reaching for one of the pictures of the twins. "You think I haven't thought about that every single time one of them looked at me with those eyes? With your eyes, Derek? Every time I look at them, I see you, Derek. Believe me, even if I wanted to forget you, there was no way I could."

"Did you?"

"Did I what?" Meredith asked.

"Did you want to forget me?"

Meredith hesitated for a moment, closing her eyes and leaning her head back against her chair, grateful that she had her back to him. "Yes," she whispered softly.

"Wow." Derek leaned back against the wall and ran his hand through his hair. "Can't say that doesn't hurt."

"What did you expect me to say?" Meredith whirled her chair around to face him again. "That I fell in love with you twenty-three years ago and have been cherishing those memories ever since? That it was the happiest month of my life? Everything we had was a lie, Derek. You were married, damn it! Married! I thought you loved me, I thought we actually had something that meant something, but you turned out to be just another in a long line of people who abandoned me. You think I wanted to remember that?"

"I never meant to hurt you, Meredith."

"But you did," Meredith said quietly. "You made me believe that I loved you, then you threw me away like yesterday's garbage. And right now…seeing you, having you back in Seattle, it's bringing this stuff up all over again, and I guess, I don't know, as much as I've grown up since then, maybe I'm not quite as over it as I thought I was."

"I did love you, Meredith. I don't know that I ever stopped loving you, really. I…"

"Don't." Meredith shook her head and held up a hand to stop him. "I don't want to hear it, Derek. I don't know if you ever really loved me or if you just think you did, but I don't care either way right now. I'm not going to sit here and waste time talking about what might have been. I'm not going to sit here and talk about us, Derek, because that's been dead and gone for a long time. If you want to talk about the girls, I can do that. But that's it."

Derek nodded reluctantly. "Alright, let's talk about the girls then."

"You're the one who came to me. I shouldn't have to come up with the topics too."

"I just don't understand it," Derek said. "How can they be so different?"

Meredith smirked and bit back a laugh at the look of utter confusion on Derek's face. "Derek, they're twins, not clones. They're different people."

"I know that. It's just…Annie's been willing to give me two chances, but I can't even get Evelyn to give me the time of day. Why is that?"

"Because you're Annie's dream, not Evie's."

"I don't understand what that means," Derek said.

"Look, from the minute she was old enough to understand what a father was, and the fact that she didn't have one around, Annie's been asking about her father. Even after I got married, she'd ask every now and then. You were her dream."

"But not Evelyn?"

Meredith shook her head. "They've always had different outlooks," she said. "Evelyn is outgoing and popular and she makes friends without even trying. Growing up, she was always, always busy, whether it was with school or friends or sports or just generally thinking up new ways to raise my blood pressure. Annie spent a lot more time reading and thinking and daydreaming…and she always felt your absence a lot more deeply. Annie's spent her whole life wondering what would have happened if you'd been around, but I don't think that thought's ever even crossed Evelyn's mind."

"So what do I do?" Derek asked. "Is she ever even going to speak to me?"

"Give her time," Meredith said. "She's not unreasonable, Derek, she's just cautious, especially right now. She was much closer to my husband that Annie ever was, especially these last few years. It's going to take her longer to come around to the idea that accepting you does not mean she's replacing him."

"And what am I supposed to do in the meantime? Just sit around and keep calling her? I don't know if I can just wait, Meredith."

Meredith shrugged. "The decision's up to you, Derek. But you asked my opinion, and I know my daughter. If you push her, there's a very good chance that you're going to ruin any chance you have of building a relationship with her."

Annie hesitated as she walked slowly up the front walk, looking up at the house that had once been her home. She'd watched her younger siblings take their first steps in the kitchen, dressed for prom in the upstairs bedrooms, even been married herself in the backyard. It felt almost unnatural when she reached the front porch and had to ring the doorbell.

"Annie?" The petite young blonde who opened the door stared at her in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Is Evelyn here?"

"She's at work."

"Oh." Annie nodded and glanced down at the ground. "Listen, Laura…"

"Did you, uh, want to come in?"

"Oh, no, that's okay. I don't want to intrude…"

"Oh for crying out loud, it's cold and rainy, would you get over yourself? Come inside, Annie."

"Fine," Annie sighed and stepped into the entryway. "The place looks…the same."

Laura laughed and shut the door behind them. "What did you think we were going to do? Tear it apart? Aunt Meredith left so much stuff behind, we really didn't have to do anything to the place when we moved in."

"I know, it's just…it's weird for me, okay?" Annie said, looking around the small entryway. "This was my family's home for most of my life, Laura. It doesn't seem right that it's not anymore. What was Mom thinking?"

Laura shrugged. "I can see where she was coming from. There are a lot of good memories in this house, but they're all with Uncle Jackson. This was his house, his dream…she loved it because he loved it. Maybe it was just too hard for her to move forward with those memories staring her in the face every time she walked down the hall."

"You're just saying that because she cuts you a deal on the rent."

Laura paused as she stepped into the kitchen and turned around, anger blazing in her eyes. "How dare you," she snapped. "You are incredibly lucky that you're pregnant at this moment."

"Why?"

"Because if you weren't, I would literally kick your ass out of this house for even suggesting that the only reason I care about your mother is because of my rent," she said. "When Mom and I had no place to turn, Aunt Meredith took us in even though she barely knew us. Whenever I've needed anything, whether it was a place to stay or a shoulder to cry on or whatever - she's been there for me. So don't you dare think that you can just waltz back in here after four years and start judging me, because I won't stand for it."

"I'm not judging anyone."

"Are you kidding me? That's all you've done since you came back, Annie," Laura pointed out. "Look, you're my cousin, we grew up like sisters, and I love you, but you are seriously on the cusp on losing your relationships with most of this family."

Annie groaned in frustration. "Why does every conversation I have with this family end in an argument?"

"Because you've been gone for four years," Laura said. "You weren't here for the good things, and you weren't here for the bad. You have no idea what things have been like around here, before or after Jackson died. And yet you show up and immediately start telling your mother she's grieving wrong, and your brother that he needs to snap out of it, and Evelyn that she needs to just move on and replace Jackson with this other guy. I'll give it to you, that takes a lot of nerve, but it doesn't change the fact that it's wrong and it's presumptuous and, quite frankly, it's bullshit."

"I never said any of those things," Annie protested.

"Maybe not in so many words, but you've implied plenty," Laura said. "It's not just what you say, it's how you say it…although with you, a lot of the time it really is what you say."

Annie nodded slowly, biting back a retort she knew could only get her in more trouble with her cousin. "You're right. I'm…I'm sorry."

Laura smiled. "See? That's not so hard, is it? Now just do that about, oh, five hundred more times with Evie and Suzie, and you should be okay."

"Sure," Annie scoffed. "You make it sound so simple."

"It is. They don't hate you, Annie. They're just hurt."

"I know. I just…I don't know if Evie and I will ever see eye to eye on this thing with Derek."

"Derek's your father?"

Annie nodded. "This isn't about replacing Jackson," she said. "I can't figure out how to get her to see that and give him a chance."

"Maybe it's not about that," Laura suggested. "Maybe she just doesn't want to know him."

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe it has nothing to do with Jackson. If my father were to turn up after all these years, I'd want nothing to do with him, and it would have nothing to do with not wanting to replace Alex. I just don't want my father in my life."

"That's completely different. Your dad beat up your mom. Derek never did anything like that to Mom."

"Maybe to Evelyn, lying to Aunt Meredith was the same thing."

"That a load of crap, Laura."

Laura shrugged. "Look, I'm not a shrink, Annie. I don't pretend to know half of what goes on in Evie's head, and quite frankly, I wouldn't want to even if I could. What I do know is that the two of you see the world in completely different ways, and until you start acknowledging that, you're never going to get out of this endless cycle of fighting with her."