A/N (01/02/17): Happy New Year, friends! As hard as it is to believe, it's been more than four years since my last "new" update of this story. My sincere apologies to all of my loyal readers for essentially dropping off the face of the earth, and thank you to everyone who continues to read, review, and/or message me about this story while I try to balance my writing time with "real life", whatever that is!

I am working my way through this story, tweaking it slightly to take it in a direction that will better bring it to the conclusion I always intended it to reach. I'll be posting the updated versions of the existing chapters in batches until they're all caught up and we dive in to new material. Most of the changes are minor, although there are a few slightly more substantial changes in the later chapters of this new version. I will date all of the chapters as they go up, so it's clear which have been updated so far and which haven't (I'm also moving away from chapter titles, so all the chapters with just numbers are the updated ones). Thank you all so much for your patience!

Evelyn sighed and rubbed her shoulder wearily as she tossed her keys onto the kitchen counter and let the door to the garage slam shut behind her.

"Long shift?"

Evelyn glared at Matt, who was perched on a bar stool at the kitchen counter, a bowl of cereal in front of him.

"We work 48 hour shifts, is there any other kind?"

"I guess not." Matt shrugged and slurped up another spoonful of his cereal. "Your sister called the house phone a few minutes ago."

"Which sister?"

"Come on, Ev…which sister would actually call on the landline? The one who thought you wouldn't pick up your cell if you knew it was her."

"Right." Evelyn nodded as poured herself a glass of water and leaned against the refrigerator. "What did you tell her?"

"The truth. I told her you weren't here and I didn't know when you'd be back."

"I wish she'd stop calling."

"Maybe you should just talk to her," Matt suggested carefully.

"I have nothing to say to her," Evelyn said firmly. "If she wants to forgive and forget, that's her call. I'm not in the mood."

"Still, she's your sister. You can't avoid her forever."

"Wanna bet? She goes back to Chicago in a few days. It's easy to avoid someone who's half a country away. She managed to ignore Mom and I for four years, I think I can manage too."

"How long are you going to punish her for that?"

"Since when are you on her side?" Evelyn snapped angrily.

"I'm not," Matt insisted. "I'm just saying, she's still your sister. Why won't you at least talk to her?"

Evelyn sighed and shook her head. "You wouldn't understand," she said. "You don't know Annie. You didn't grow up with her, you don't know how she can be."

"So explain it to me."

Evelyn shook her head again. "Just stick to your day job, okay? You're not my shrink."

Matt frowned and raised an eyebrow at her, about to argue the point when the doorbell rang.

"Saved by the bell," Evelyn muttered, setting down her glass, quickly kissing Matt's cheek, and heading off toward the front door.

Derek shoved one hand nervously into his pocket as he reached the other out and pressed the doorbell outside Meredith's house. He shivered slightly as he listened to the sound of the footsteps on the other side of the door, and he knew it wasn't just the cold Seattle night getting to him.

The door swung open and he found himself face to face with a tall, somewhat unhappy looking, teenage version of Meredith. Her strawberry-blonde hair was slightly curlier, her skin a shade or two darker, but she was all Meredith - right down to the piercing eyes glaring at him.

"What do you want?"

"Oh, um…hi," he said nervously. "I'm Derek."

"I didn't ask who you were, I know that already," she replied, clearly annoyed. "I asked what you're doing here, and you haven't answered that."

"Is your mother here?"

Suzie frowned. "Maybe."

"Can I see her?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't like you, that's why."

Derek almost laughed at the sincerity in her voice. "You don't even know me."

"I don't need to know you. I don't like you."

Derek shook his head and was about to respond when he saw movement in the kitchen doorway.

"Susan."

Suzie sighed and turned to face her mother. "What?"

"It's okay, Suzie," Meredith assured her. "I've got this."

"You sure?"

Meredith nodded. "Why don't you go finish your homework, sweetie?"

Suzie glared at Derek for a moment. "Fine," she conceded, letting go of the door handle and hurrying up the stairs.

"She looks like you," Derek observed as he heard a door slam at the top of the stairs.

Meredith smiled and nodded. "Acts like me too. I think if my mother were alive, she'd call her my karma for my teenage years."

Derek laughed. "Were you that bad?"

"You don't want to know," Meredith said with a smirk before taking a breath and shaking her head slightly, as though trying to remind herself they weren't just old friends catching up. "What are you doing here, Derek? The girls aren't here."

"I know."

"Then why are you here?"

"I didn't come to see the girls tonight."

"Then who…?"

"You."

Meredith's breath caught in her throat. "Derek…"

"I know you hate me, Meredith," Derek said quickly. "But please just hear me out."

Meredith nodded hesitantly.

"I need you to know that I'm sorry. There aren't words to tell you how sorry I am, but I am sorry. I wish I had done things differently."

"You couldn't have known what I wrote," Meredith said quietly.

Derek shook his head. "I'm not just talking about the letters, Meredith, and I'm not even talking about the girls. I lied to you. I made you promises and I failed to keep every last one of them. You may not believe this now, not after everything I put you through, but I did love you. I never stopped loving you, Meredith."

Meredith opened her mouth to respond but Derek shook his head again and quickly cut her off. "Don't say anything. I don't expect you to feel the same way. I don't expect anything from you tonight, Meredith…or ever, really. I know you're grieving still, I know you're not ready, and even if you were, I'd probably be the last person on your list. I just…being back here in Seattle, it's making me take a hard look at the things I did, at what I did to you…and I'm not liking what I see. And I'm sorry."

Meredith nodded and took a step backward. "Do you want to come in for a drink?"