Alfred took a bite of his burger, shivering slightly in the cold wind as he sat on the roof. It had all become routine. At lunch he'd meet Ivan on the roof and they would eat together and hang out. He remembered the first time he had eaten up here, the Russian had offered to go inside because Alfred was so cold. The blond had refused and instead demanded the other to give him his coat. It was mostly as a joke but to his surprise, Ivan took off his coat and handed it to him. He seemed unaffected by the cold weather.
It was routine.
Ivan arrived at the roof, pulled his coat off and wrapped it around Alfred who sighed contently and finished his meal. Ivan sat beside him and ate a warm soup he had just microwaved downstairs. Alfred talked while Ivan ate, mostly about nothing. Sometimes they argued, only verbally though, they never resorted to physical violence. Sometimes they agreed and sometimes they just sat in silence.
And sometimes in that silence, Alfred would fill it by a kiss instead of words.
He wasn't entirely sure how things had turned out this way but in the course of a week Ivan proved to be better company than his friends, his family and especially his brother. He was the only one he trusted, the only one who had yet to betray his trust. He was grateful for that.
He didn't know why he was compelled to kiss Ivan on some occasions. Wasn't the idea supposed to disgust him? Frankly, he enjoyed the feeling of the others lips on his, how his gloved hands held his face there gently yet firmly. He especially like how Ivan never brought up the fact that he was kissing him nor ask him why he had the change of hear. He honestly didn't know what had happened.
Ivan was an escape for Alfred and he gladly took advantage of the fact.
"Hey Ivan, how come you're never cold?" He asked, pulling the borrowed coat tighter around him as the cold December wind swept through him.
"Russia is much colder than this. I was cold there." Ivan answered, becoming more comfortable with the American's invasive questions. The other was too curious for his own good sometimes. Still, if it meant spending time with him instead of being alone then he would suffer through them.
"I doubt it. Its freezing here! Its probably a communistic plot against freedom." The blond teased with a smile. Ivan rolled his eyes, not giving the foolish comment the dignity of a response.
"What do you think we're going to do in History?" Alfred asked to fill the lapse of silence, his blue eyes turning to meet violet. Ivan shrugged, finishing off his soup.
"Most likely we shall continue speaking of Theodore Roosevelt's presidency." The Russian supplied, wondering why the American needed to know now since they would have that class once the bell rang. He didn't seem very interested in the subject anyway, if his notebook of doodles had anything to say about it.
"TR's cool... But I want to get to the World Wars! There so much more interesting!" Alfred whined, putting on a pout in order to express his sadness. Wars were interesting! Governmental policies weren't.
"That will be after winter break." The Russian reminded.
"Yeah, I know." Alfred sighed, standing up to stretch his legs. The thought of winter break made him happy, two weeks of vacation here we come! "Hey, what are you doing for Christmas?"
Ivan shrugged, "Nothing, I never celebrate the holiday."
Alfred gasped, staring at the paler teen in shock. "You've never celebrated Christmas? That has to be some form of abuse! You poor tortured soul!" He cried out, melodramatically. Ivan flinched at the word 'abuse', pulling his knees closer to himself unconsciously as his hand crept to his scarf for comfort.
"I am not Christian." He supplied.
"So? Christmas is as much about religion as it is about family!" Alfred reasoned remembering his past Christmases. Papa would make dinner on Christmas Eve, Dad would be nicer and they'd open up one present the night before. They'd all sit together around the television because Alfred was adamant on re-watching the classic Christmas specials on Rudolph and Santa because it was the American way.
"...I have no family." Ivan interrupted his merry thoughts.
Alfred stiffened, frowning further at the comment. That's right, Ivan didn't have any family here in the U.S... Well, other than Toris but his old friend seemed to be terrified of his new ward. "Well, you can celebrate it with me! Come on, it'll be fun!" He added excitedly, it was what a hero would do. Plus, maybe Ivan would warm up if he was introduced to an awesome Christmas. It was such a major part of his own childhood he couldn't even imagine growing up without it. He really did wish Ivan would tell him more about his past...
"What do I do?" Ivan asked, standing up, curious to find out the American customs for the holiday. Alfred grinned at the question, Christmas was probably his favoirte holiday, second only to Independence day which happened to also be his birthday.
"Well, you get a big Christmas tree and decorate it with ornaments and stuff. You put wreaths and candles all around and me, Papa and Mattie put out a little manger." He faltered slightly at his brothers name but continued. "Dad's not very religious, anyway Christmas Eve me and m- I watch Christmas specials all day and that night Papa makes an awesome dinner. Then we, except for Dad, go to our old church, say hi to some of the nuns and go to mass. Christmas day we come down and there's all these presents for me and Ma- And we open them and laugh and watch more Christmas specials and hang out with each other and stuff.. We play with our new gifts and everything."
Ivan nodded, trying to keep all the information in his brain. But, something nagged in his mind, "Alfred, when will you speak with your brother again?" It was obvious how much their estrangement was hurting both parties. He knew he owed the blossoming of their relationship in part to the feud but he wanted Alfred to forgive his brother. He had come to like Alfred happy and not angry and so he wanted him happy. And that meant being close with his brother.
Alfred stiffened and turned away, he didn't answer the question. The bell rang and he pulled the coat off, returning it to his owner with a grin. He changed the subject quickly as they walked to their next class, keeping away from the subject of his brother.
Matthew was suffering, the guilt weighing down on him with each passing day that Alfred ignored his existence. He didn't know what to do anymore, this had never happened to them before. Ever.
The twins had been close since the day they were born. In the orphanage they resided in they were attached at the hip, causing mischief together always. Once they were adopted they remained attached. The first day of school they refused to let go of each others hands, in fear of losing the other.
As their school became a less than welcoming environment, they depended on each other even more. Always together, and with no other friends, they were each others. When the family finally moved, they braved the new school together with much better results. Even as they each befriended others they still remained side by side.
As they grew and the idea of growing apart festered in the minds of their parents they continued to be close. They played video games together, they confided in each defended each other against their parents, the helped each other whenever one of them was caught in a mess. And then Matthew had messed up and Alfred had locked a door between them. The bond had broken and the wound left open just would not heal.
Gilbert became increasingly angry at the American who also shunned him as well. He wasn't angry because he was being ignored, he was angry because Matthew was so sad about this. And it was partially his fault. He tried to get Alfred to talk to him but the other simply continued to ignore him.
Francis wished his son's would make up. He lamented how the Christmas spirit was being crushed down by all the tension. Usually by now, the boys would have cut down a Christmas tree and decorated it. Alfred was never home and Matthew didn't want to do it without him. Alfred refused to listen to him and always left the room whenever Matthew entered.
Arthur was growing tired of the fight. A petty fight in his opinion. He had believed the twin's bond was stronger than this disagreement. He decided he would have to take action, telling his husband he was going to force Alfred to speaking with his brother. It was the only to get through his thick head.
"Non, Arthur. That will make it worse. Do not force Alfred to do anything, you must persuade him to do it himself." Francis had cautioned, not wanting the argument to grow further. For once, Arthur listened to his husband's advice. He did not yell at Alfred, instead he spoke to him.
Alfred returned home from hanging out with Ivan, he greeted his parents and went upstairs to his room. Matthew sighed sadly from his seat at the table, finding himself no longer hungry. Francis pet his wavy hair comfortingly but it did nothing to alleviate the aura of gloom around the younger twin's person. Arthur decided enough was enough and climbed up the stairs.
He tried to open his son's door, finding it surprisingly locked. He frowned, knocking on the door, "Its your father, open up."
Alfred unlocked the door, letting his dad into the room. Arthur could see his son had been about to play some video game or another. The T.V was on, showing some sort of menu and his game system was hooked up. He sat down on the bed, beside his son and said nothing. He tried to gather his words, he was used to just yelling out whatever he thought of first, not actually approaching a subject delicately. But Francis had asked him to be delicate.
"Alfred," He began, turning his attention to the teen sitting next to him. Blue eyes flicked to look into green.
"Yeah, Dad?" He asked casually, stretching himself and lying back down on his bed. His eyes continued to look up at his father as he got more comfortable. He wondered what was so important that it had to interrupt his gaming.
"You need to forgive your brother." He finally said, feeling the boy tense next to him. This was going to be a very difficult conversation. He wasn't very good at this emotional stuff. Alfred didn't respond, his face frowning and his eyes looking down at his bed.
"Alfred, you two are so close." Arthur tried to reason as Alfred remained unresponsive. Instead, his son turned away so he was facing the wall, his back to him. Arthur sighed as he was forced to have a conversation with the back of Alfred's head. He was about to continue when Alfred spoke softly, bitterly.
"I thought so too."
"Alfred, I haven't spoken to my brothers in 20 years." Arthur reminded with a sad frown. Alfred stayed silent, grasping a pillow in his tense hands. "You know why? Because they didn't approve of my lifestyle. But we were never that close."He grimaced slightly at the thought of them but he knew he really should reach out to them some day...
Alfred hugged the pillow slightly tighter but made no move to continue the conversation.
"But, you and Matthew are so close and loving. I would hate to see you drift apart over something so trivial as this petty fight." He reasoned, leaning forward and putting a hand on his son's shoulder. Alfred tensed further.
"Do you not want to see your brother for 20 whole years?" Arthur asked, letting the question sink in. Alfred didn't try and answer, instead he clenched tighter around the pillow.
"He lied to me." He stated, betrayal and hurt still as vivid in the way he spoke as the day it happened.
"I know, but is it worth losing him?"
The fact struck Alfred and he paused to think. He didn't know, he was still so angry about it. Still, this feud was hurting him too and he missed his brother so much. But, he didn't even know how to fix it, how to trust his brother again. He didn't know what he was suppose to do.
They had never fought like this before so he hadn't the slightest idea how he was suppose to even mend it.
"I bet if he was in your position he would have forgiven you already. He always does." Arthur said softly, threading his fingers through the short blond hair. He had done it when they were younger and he continued to do so now. It still comforted Alfred to feel those fingers in his hair.
"Listen to him. Let him speak. Do you realize how much this is hurting him?" Arthur continued, his voice insistent. Alfred didn't know, in fact. He had ignored his twin completely and because of that, had no idea how he was feeling. A little guilt began to grow within him as he tried to push it down.
Arthur let out a long sigh and stood up from the bed. Alfred lost the fingers in his hair and the comforting weight by his side. He didn't move as his father left his room, only pausing by the door to add one last thing, "Blood is thicker than water, Alfred. Imagine life without him." He closed the door, and left. Alfred was alone.
He stayed on his bed, brooding for a long while as he debated on what to do. Finally he sighed, getting up from his bed and unlocking the door. He left it slightly ajar and went back to his bed. He pressed play on his video game controller and started playing his game as he waited. He didn't have to wait long.
Matthew climbed up the stairs tiredly, seeing Arthur come down with a frown. He passed his brother's room with longing glance before retiring to his own. He grasped at his little stuffed bear, hugging him close to him. Hugging the gift was the closest he got to his brother lately... Then he stiffened as he realized something.
Without dropping Kumajirou, he opened his door to peer at Alfred's. It was open. The door was open. Matthew's heartbeat accelerated considerably as he made his way quickly to the neighboring bedroom. He stepped inside without a word and stood there awkwardly, silently.
Alfred shut off his game, turning toward where his twin stood. He tried to keep his face emotionless. Matthew stared at the floor, unsure what exactly to say as he hid behind his little stuffed bear. Alfred took notice of it and broke the silence. He hated silence.
"Why do you have him with you?" He asked curiously, hoping it would break the awkward silence that he had never had with his twin before. He didn't know what else he was supposed to say.
Matthew didn't look up, afraid of messing this chance up. Instead he just spoke, "My big brother gave it to me." He whispered softly, sadly, "So when I can't hug my big brother I hug him." He continued, tightening his grip on the polar bear. He would not cry. He would not cry. He was sixteen! He would not cry. But why did he feel like such a little kid right now? He was even speaking like one. Maybe..Maybe Alfred would actually pay attention to him now...
"Why did you need to hug him?" Alfred asked, trying to mask his forming guilt. Shit, he could never stand for his brother to be sad or hurt. What had he done? Had he really been that oblivious to his pain?
"I had a nightmare." Matthew's voice was strained, his violet blue eyes refusing to meet the blue of his brother. The blue that had denied him for much to long.
"About what?" More guilt consumed him as he thought about how he had locked his door. Mattie had always made sure to leave his door open at night in case Alfred had a nightmare, which he did on numerous occasions when they were younger. What if Mattie had tried to come over for comfort only to be met with a lock? Now he felt horrible. But the other had lied to him! Suddenly, that didn't seem as bad as hurting his brother...
"A-About my big brother never speaking to me again." And Matthew broke down, his shoulders shaking as he cried into the soft white fur. He tried to shield his pain with the bear but it was painfully obvious he was crying. Damn it, why'd he have to do this to himself. He was almost an adult! But...He really did miss his twin and it hurt so much not to see him.
And Alfred felt absolutely horrible. There was nothing worse in his eyes than seeing his brother suffer to the point of tears. Actually there was. Seeing his brother suffer to the point of tears because of him. He couldn't take it. He stood up from his seat on the bed and flung himself at his lost twin. Wrenching Kumajirou away and replacing him with himself. Mattie didn't need the bear anymore, he had him.
Matthew accepted him gratefully, wrapping his arms around him as he cried on his shoulder. Alfred rubbed his back soothingly and before long they were both spouting out the same words, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry."
"I'm sorry I lied. I should have told you." Matthew murmured and Alfred held him closer.
"I'm sorry I've been so cruel." Alfred responded.
"I promise, Al. I promise no more lies and no more secrets." His tears were slowing down and his breathing calming.
"I promise too." Alfred said back and Matthew felt a weight lift from his shoulders. He felt his brother kiss his forehead and he knew he was forgiven. Alfred gave him a soft smile and Matthew returned it.
The American maneuvered Matthew to sit on his bed and sat down beside him. The younger twin was now trying to wipe his tears from his cheeks, feeling happier than he had in a long time.
"I missed you, Alfie." He whispered softly and Alfred squeezed his shoulder comfortingly.
"I missed ya too, Mattie."
Matthew's smile grew at the statement and he felt infinitely better. But he wasn't sure what to do now. Should he leave and let him play his video game? Should he stay? Alfred, though, seemed to have it all figured out.
"So, tell me all about you and Gil." Alfred started curiously, a smug little grin growing on his face as Matthew blushed at the demand.
"..You're not mad that we're dating?" He asked nervously, glancing up at his usually fiercely protective brother.
"That depends on how he's been treating you. So spill it."
Matthew giggled lightly, squirming in his seat on the bed to get slightly more comfortable. "Okay, but you have to tell me about Ivan. You two have been spending a lot of time together." It was Alfred's turn to blush and Matthew's to smirk.
"Yeah, well, I haven't had sex with him yet!" Alfred snapped, trying to defend himself.
"Yet?" Matthew teased seeing his brother's blush turn redder.
"Shut up!" Alfred quickly cried. Sure he had sort of started thinking about it more but that didn't mean he was going to do it anytime soon!
Matthew laughed harder, "Fine, I'll start." And he proceeded to tell Alfred everything that had happened between Gilbert and himself. Everything leading to the faithful night of intimacy though he didn't describe that part, that would be much to embarrassing.
"Wow Mattie, you're such a girl sometimes." Alfred teased. Matthew swatted his arm with a frown.
"Al! I'm not a girl." He defended, crossing his arms firmly.
"Who bottomed then?" Alfred asked smugly and Matthew's defenses wilted. Alfred laughed, patting his brother on the shoulder before beginning a much more serious part of the conversation.
"He didn't pressure you, right?"
"No, Al."
"He used protection?"
"Yes, Al." This was the brother he remembered. The super protective one.
"He used lube?"
"Al! Why are we talking about this." And they said he took more after their Papa!
"Answer the question, I'm merely trying to heroically assess the situation and your safety." And whether or not I need to beat some Prussian ass.
"Yes, he used lube."
"Did he prepare you enough?"
"Yes Al! God, can we please stop."
"Did he let you adjust?"
"Alfred! Yes, okay? Are we done?"
"One last question," Alfred said, "Did he get you to orgasm."
Matthew beat him with a pillow in mortification. Alfred laughed as he demanded him to answer the question. Matthew continued his assault, all the while snapping "Yes, okay! Are you happy now?". This continued on until the door opened quickly, revealing a worried Arthur.
"Boys, I thought I heard fightin- What are you two doing?" He asked incredulously. It wasn't every day he saw his feuding sons having a pillow fight. Alfred laughed harder, using the distraction to pull Matthew down and give him a noogie. Matthew whined, thrashing his head as Alfred continued to cackle.
"Oh, just brotherly bonding, Dad. You can go." Alfred assured. Arthur blinked before smiling in relief and closing the door. Finally.
Matthew was finally able to pull free, sending his brother a glare that had no real force. He was still happy to be on his twin's good side again. The pair calmed down, sitting opposite to each other.
"Well, you're turn. Tell me about your Russian sweetheart." Matthew teased, wanting to have some sort of fun of his own. Alfred blushed like earlier, grimacing at the idea of Ivan being his 'sweetheart'.
"Well we don't fight anymore... And uh... He's nicer?" Alfred really didn't know how to explain the weird relationship he had grown to have with the Russian.
"Is he your boyfriend?" Matthew offered.
"I guess? I don't even know..." Wow was he a fail in relationships.
"Have you kissed?" He had seen him kiss Ivan that one time at the door but he wanted to know if they had done it some more.
"Well, yeah."
"What do you talk about?"
"Whatever there is to talk about. Oh, I invited him over for Christmas." He notified before his eyes widened. "Shoot! Christmas is in two week and we haven't done anything! We have to get a tree, hang the wreath, put out the manger. I haven't even started shopping!"
"Calm down Al. We can go Christmas tree shopping tomorrow, and decorate together all right? You can even invite Ivan if you want to." Because he kind of wanted an excuse to invite Gil...
"Okay. But lets cut the tree down just the two of us, like always." Alfred quickly stated, wanting to catch up with his twin some more. He would invite Ivan over afterward.
Matthew smiled, "Of course."
Short chapter is shortish.
I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Look, twins are happy once more!
Ok, now for bad news. I most likely will not be able to write over my winter break because I'm going to be out of town for the entire time. Sorry guys. Don't worry though! Once I come back I'll return to my normal schedule.
I hope this chapter doesn't suck, I'm a little rushed with packing. -.-
Next chapter we have some more fun with Ivan and Alfred :3
Oh, and we have more lovely fan art, this time by mudbloodkiller!
http:/deidaragroopie . deviantart . com/ art / PruCan- sketch- 188656388
Thank you so much for all the support you've given me! I mean, I started this six months ago not even knowing if I would finish it! Of course, now I have to because of all of you wonderful reviewers. So thank you for sharing the love!
Merry Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate) and Happy New Year!
I'll see you in 2011!