A/N: So I've been looking around this site and really...haven't found any MxM fics that I like and that upset me. So, I figured that if I couldn't find one that I liked, I'd just have to write my own! Really, I don't have much of an idea where this fic is going, I just know it's going to have Matt and Mello in it. If you wanna read it with that in mind then go right ahead! I'd very appreciate it if you gave me some feed back. I honestly have never written any other fanfiction besides for Kingdom Hearts, so this is kind of a stretch for me. Let me know if everyone is up to par, yeah? Anyways, enough of the ramblings from me. Please enjoyyy~

White Noise-

Chapter One; Fire

"Mello?"

Did someone say my name…? "…"

"Mello." Something hit the side of my arm, sending pain to erupt through it. "Get up. Everyone's already gone."

God that voice was annoying as hell and so damn loud. "Go the fuck away…" I mumbled through my teeth.

Silence and then…"You are such a pain."

Yeah…that must have been Near. That little prick. Didn't he understand the pain I was in?

"I can't…move…" I told him in all honesty. I was weak and my head was pounding like a drum. I wasn't about to get up, let alone move an inch.

"I am so sick of you passing out in my house."

Then maybe you shouldn't have me over your house, dumbass.

"Fine. Sleep on the floor. See if I care. I'm going to bed."

The footsteps faded away and I heaved a heavy sigh. It was still dark outside I noticed, but it felt like I had slept for hours. Or…maybe it didn't. Was I still high…?

I don't even remember what I took. The only thing I did remember was that Misa had brought it and only me, her and Mikami had taken some. Did I smoke it…? Or…maybe I swallowed it. I didn't remember and I didn't really care. The only thing I did care about was getting out of this house. I hated Near. And even though I felt like shit, I didn't want to be anywhere alone with him. Even if he had gone upstairs.

So with a body that felt like cement and my head still throbbing, I lifted myself off the floor and used the side of the couch to help myself stand straight. My legs were wobbly and I instantly regretted standing. It hurt my head even worse. Maybe sleeping on the floor wasn't such a bad idea…

No. Near was an asshole and it was awkward as hell to know that I'd be sleeping in his house. With that thought in my head, I grabbed my jacket and somehow made my way to the door. When I stepped outside I heard birds chirping and that pissed me off. I hated birds and I hated being awake when they were being they're stupid bird selves.

I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths, searching my pockets for any spare chocolate. Yes, I was addicted to chocolate. Most people smoked cigarettes, which I did from time to time. But instead of smoking all the time, I usually ate chocolate when I was upset or needed release. It was the same concept though most of my friends just laughed at me. Misa was always confused as to how I kept my figure when I ate so much chocolate. I think she was just jealous.

I didn't really understand it either myself though.

My left pocket had half of a bar left and I instantly started biting off pieces of the sugary goodness. The walk home didn't take as long as I thought it would, which I was glad for. And once again I came home to an empty apartment. I bet you're wondering where my parents were. Well, I was wondering the same damn thing every day of my life.

My dad left my mom and I basically right after I was born. I guess the responsibility of raising a child with a woman he didn't really love got the better of him, so he ran off pretty quickly. I didn't think much of him; honestly I hated the man for his very existence. That fucker had ruined my life. And it wasn't just my life that he ruined either. When I was twelve years old, my mother tried to commit suicide. She set our house on fire and planned to take me with it. She'd always told me before that that I had been a mistake and that I only reminded her so much of her lover. I figured she hated me even more than I hated him. She hated my existence.

Though much to her dismay, the fire didn't kill either of us. But it did leave us both scarred. Her whole left arm was seared; I remember that they had to amputate it. I wasn't as bad as her, but my body was never the same. The left side of my face had third degree burns, as well as most of the left side of my neck, arm and my rib cage. I guess that after that, she couldn't even look at me. It was like she was so mad that she hadn't killed me and just seeing me in a deformed state made her despise me that much more.

After seven long months in the hospital and becoming more and more detached to my own mother, I decided that I didn't need her anymore. My mom went to court and confessed to setting the house ablaze. I'm pretty sure she was put in prison—that was the last time I saw her. As for me, I was placed with a foster family for a while, but I hated that even more than living with my mother. I bought a small, two story apartment with the money given to me by the state and what little money that my mother had in her bank account. I've been living on my own since I was thirteen.

I also gave myself a new name after everything was over and done with. I figured that since my parents were pretty much dead to me, that I didn't need the name they had given me. Mihael Keehl disappeared that day, along with my parents. The only one left behind was Mello.

You're probably feeling sorry for me at this point. Probably thinking what a poor little kid, having been put through all of that at such a young age. Pitying me. That's what you're doing. Well stop. Because I don't fucking need it. And I sure as hell don't want it.

I threw my jacket onto the couch and my head felt foggy. After popping a few Advil I went straight to my room and curled up under the blankets, not even bothering to take off my leather pants or my black shirt. The clock read 4:45am but again I didn't care. I'd really had enough of being awake anyways.

XxX

I didn't wake up the next morning. I woke up that afternoon. My hazy eyes read the clock once again and I almost thought of just sleeping the whole day away. About ready to fall back asleep, my phone started ringing. I sent a glare towards it but picked it up anyway.

"Mello here."

"Where are you?" It was Light's voice.

I looked at the clock again and finally realized just how late it was. Well shit.

"Sorry, I was sleeping."

"Should we stop waiting for you then?" he sounded a little upset. Though this was kind of a regular thing with me so I'm sure he wasn't very surprised.

"No, keep waiting." I sat up and rushed to the bathroom. "I'm gunna shower. I've already packed. Can you pick me up in like…half an hour?"

He sighed; I could hear Misa talking in the background. I figured that they were all already ready for the trip, probably at Light's house waiting on my lazy ass. "Yeah, just hurry up. We were supposed to all leave two hours ago."

"Thanks for not leaving without me."

"Yeah, yeah. Misa insisted that we didn't." His voice sounded distant, as if he was really talking to the girl and not me.

"Good thing that girl likes me for some reason."

"Misa likes anyone who isn't trying to get with me," he admitted.

I grinned a little, hearing her voice a little louder now. "I'll be ready in thirty minutes. Just text me when you get here."

"Kay, see you then."

I hung up and quickly showered. My hands traveled along my scars, my eyes turning distant. They were so ugly and so…there. They reminded me of my mother. Reminded me of fire. Of being trapped and alone and so fucking scared…

My hand gripped my forehead and I leaned against the tiled wall of the shower. The water was hot so I turned it all the way to blue. The freezing water had a better effect on me. I hated heat. Hated fire. Hated anything to do with it.

When I finished showering I changed into some tight black skinny jeans and my favorite zippered jacket. Of course I didn't wear anything underneath it though. I never did. That was how I liked it anyways.

Before leaving I looked at myself in the mirror for once. My eyes were really blue but very lost and tired. It was as if I hadn't slept a wink. I had straight, blond hair that was usually described as yellow by most people. It really just depended on the lighting in my opinion. I liked it though. It was longer than I'd ever had it; kind of framing my face but it still was pretty close to touching my shoulders. My bangs were really uneven, most falling into my face, but that's how I wanted it. I wanted my hair to cover my face, especially the left part of it. I figured that with the hair in the way, my scar didn't look so terrible. I liked to think that way at least.

Besides for my face, my body was pretty thin. I looked almost girlish with my figure, though my arms were toned, at least there was that. I narrowed my eyes at my reflection and stuck my tongue out a little at it, furrowing my eyebrows. I really hated how I looked, I don't even know why I kept mirrors around.

With averted eyes, I walked over to my bed and sat down; staring at my phone I waited for Light or someone else to call me.

Five minutes passed by and then I got a text from Light, saying they were outside. I only had one bag, albeit pretty large, it wasn't like we were staying there for more than a week. I lugged the heavy thing down the stairs and waved a little when I saw Light and Misa in the front seat of his Buick Enclave. The car was band new and large enough for all of us to fit in comfortably. At least we could count on Light for having such things. And that wasn't his only car either; the guy had at least two others.

Light was kind of an excessive guy to begin with though. He was the smartest person I knew, aside from Near…and L, who really was the smartest person I knew. Light was spoiled and doted on by his rich parents but I didn't hate the guy. We were actually pretty good friends. I liked to think of us as such anyways.

"Mello!" Misa reached her hand out the window and smiled at me. Her make-up was a little obnoxious today but I didn't say anything. This was Misa-Misa we were talking about. The up and coming model that was as sensitive as a two year old. I knew that I could make fun of her but to a certain extent. Especially when she was intoxicated, oh I'd totally say shit when she drunk or something.

I waved again at her, even though I just had as I dragged my suitcase to the back of the car. The hatch back opened before I had the chance to, almost smacking me in the face. "Thanks, asshole!" I yelled, hoping Light would hear.

I think I saw him smirk in the rearview mirror.

When I got into the back seat I let out a small sigh, looking around at everyone who was attending the trip.

"Hello, Mello." The dark haired L was sitting next to me, no seat belt on and his shoes placed on the floor beneath him. His feet were up on the seat, knees next to his chin he smiled at me and I nodded my head a little at him. Even though L was a little strange and had weird habits, it didn't bother me one bit. If you thought about it, every single person in our group was the exact same way.

I glared suddenly when I saw Near on the other side of L, the same white attire attached to his body as always. His equally white hair was almost blinding in the sunlight. I really hated his hair and his…face.

"Good morning, Mello. Get enough sleep?" he asked, twirling a strand of hair around his finger like he always did. That was another thing that pissed me off about him. Did he really have to play with his hair like that? It was creepy as hell.

I didn't reply to him, instead I flipped him off and turned my attention to the front seat. Misa was smiling at me in the rearview mirror and she turned around as soon as I had looked at her. "Are we all ready for this epic trip to begin?" she shouted, pumping a fist into the air, almost hitting it on the ceiling of the car.

"Don't shout, Misa," Light scolded her while pulling out of the driveway.

She pouted a little and narrowed her eyes at the brunet boy. I sometimes kind of wished I knew what the hell those two were doing. Misa loved Light, even a blind person could see that. But Light…he didn't really have anything but indifference for the peppy blonde. She'd constantly be attached to him, as if by some other worldly force. But he didn't really seem to care. Misa called Light her boyfriend, but I'm pretty sure that Light just called Misa annoying.

"It's not like there's a sleeping baby in here, Light!" she shouted again.

"Yes, but I'm trying to drive, so try and be quiet." I could tell he was getting upset, sometimes he snapped at her, yelling even more than Misa did. I just sat back and watched as if it was some kind of drama-filled reality show. Sometimes when they didn't fight, I found things to be a bit boring.

"Mello? You got home okay last night, right? I'm sorry I couldn't take you home, no one could seem to get you to wake up!" She gesticulated a lot. For some reason I was really observant today.

I shrugged a little and leaned back in my seat, my shoulder just barley brushing L's. "It's fine. Near had the courtesy to kick me awake."

Said boy grinned, I could see that out of the corner of my eye and Misa's eyes went wide. "Awe, Near! You shouldn't be so mean to Mello. Why don't you guys get along…?" she looked pretty sad, but she was a model. She was trained to give false looks just like that.

My eyes drifted towards the very white boy sitting beside L and I laughed a little. "Near and I will never get along. Because he won't ever stop being an ass."

Near suddenly spoke up, closing his eyes as he talked, "I really don't understand it either, Misa. I think Mello and I could be great friends. Maybe if he would stop being such an ass."

I gritted my teeth together; I wanted to punch that stupid grin of his stupid face so badly. No one ever let me though. Whenever I tried jumping at him, Light or someone would hold me back. It wasn't fair. I had to be around this guy because everyone else was friends with him but did anyone stop and think of my feelings even once? Maybe I was just over thinking everything but I wished that it could just be the four of us, minus the albino asshole.

"Well whatever the reasons, I think that you guys should try and get along, for the sake of the group. Right, Light?" Misa turned towards the boy in question and he just frowned.

"Mello and Near probably will never get along, Misa. That's just how it is."

Light was a really straight forward person, which was what I liked about him. He didn't beat around the bush with people. If he didn't like you, he'd tell you.

Though he seemed to have a problem with Misa. Maybe the problem was the girl in the first place. No matter how many times he told her he didn't like her that way, she just never stopped. Maybe she hoped that someday she could win his love somehow, if that was even possible. I felt kind of bad for her but at the same time I didn't. It wasn't like she was ugly or anything; she could easily find some other guy to annoy.

Misa grew silent after being shot down by Light and my mind started drifting to a far off place where there was no Misa and no Near. Especially no Near. I pretended that he wasn't there. After a while of silence Misa turned on some music and the rest of the drive was spent listening to Light's instrumental CDs.

XxX

Three hours of driving later, we had finally arrived at our destination. Everyone's eyes settled on the lake and cabins that were set out in front of us. It was a pretty gorgeous place, even I thought that.

Everyone got out of the car and began unloading our luggage. One of the cabins was ours for the five days that we planned on staying. They were all lined up in a row along the lake, some closer to the lake than the others but none too close to the other cabins. I guess that Light's parents had set most of this up for all of us. I didn't even think that his parents liked me. Maybe Light hadn't mentioned that I'd be going.

"Finally!" Misa stretched when she lowered her bags onto the cabin floor. "I was so sick of being in that car."

The cabin was pretty big inside, a living room was in front of us and to my right was a small kitchen. There was a hallway that had at least four doors to it as well. I smiled a little to myself. Even though I hated camping and I hated taking trips, maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Maybe I'd actually relax a little. And besides, this was our last week of summer before each of us started our first year at college. Everyone besides Misa, who was going to continue her modeling and stay away from colleges for the time being. Though I'm sure we wouldn't be Misa-less there. She'd probably visit every day, at least to see Light.

"Well, I guess we should all choose our rooms," Light said after bringing in a few more bags.

"I'm sleeping with Light!" Misa shouted, pivoting a little on her heel and spinning just slightly while holding onto Light's arm.

L was staring at the two and he tilted his head a little. "No need to shout that out loud, Misa. We all knew you were already sleeping with him."

This pissed Light off, which I'm sure was exactly what L was going for. "Ryuzaki…" Light called L that almost all the time, I think maybe that was another nickname for him because L couldn't really be his real name. I don't think I had ever really heard Light call him anything else.

I didn't bother asking about it though; it wasn't like I used my real name around them either. Or anyone else for that matter. I'm sure L had his reasons, just like I did.

"Well while you guys make fun of Light, I'm picking out a room." I grabbed my bag once again and began walking into the hallway, Light glaring at me the whole way. I smiled a little as I entered a room. It was just too fun with them around. My life just wouldn't be the same without my little group of friends.

Voices made their way to me from the room I had chosen but I didn't really pay attention to them. I began un-loading all of my clothes and placing them into a dresser. I also decorated the room with a few small things I had brought. When I was finished I turned around and saw a large mirror on the wall. My eyes narrowed into slits as I walked up to it. I looked so angry, so lustful and evil. I defiantly wasn't keeping that there. So I grabbed it from the wall and lowered it to the floor, facing it opposite of me.

That was a lot better.

"Let's all go swimming! Please Light!" Misa was pleading with Light who was regarding her with tired eyes.

"It's already eight o'clock. That's a little late to go swimming," he told her.

Misa put on her epic pout face. "But Liiiiiiight!" She started jumping up and down. This usually broke him down, which was why she did it. It wasn't because he thought her pout was cute or anything, no, it was more like he wanted to punch her into next week if she didn't stop. I could tell just by looking at him. I really didn't understand how Misa didn't see such an obvious thing.

"Fine fine, just shut up. Who's up for swimming at this ungodly hour of the night?" Light called out.

I walked into the living room with the two and nodded. "I'll swim."

Near and L joined us shortly after I had spoken. "Maybe not swimming…but I'd like a bonfire. Did anyone bring s'more material?" Near asked. I noticed that he had changed into a white T-shirt instead of his regular long sleeved ones. It looked kind of weird on him.

Everyone looked to L who smiled and held up a finger then walked back to his room, hunching over a little as he did. That was…just how L walked. Don't ask me why.

He returned with a large bag of marshmallows, a box of graham crackers and…that was a lot of chocolate.

"L…" I whispered, my hand inching towards the bag of Hershey's chocolate bars.

He just smiled and handed me two of the bars.

This is why I loved L.

And then I was content. Everything was good. We all went outside after Misa and I changed into our bathing suits, everyone else decided to just sit around the fire.

We were both out on one of the small docks that reached out over the water.

"Just jump in, it's not that cold," I told the blonde haired girl who was holding her arms around herself defensively. I mean, she was the one who wanted to swim in the first place.

"But! I don't know…it feels really cold!" she squealed.

"Here, stand up," I told her, reaching for her hand. She took it stupidly without a second thought and that was when I smirked and pushed her into the lake.

I could feel everyone's eyes on me and I just couldn't stop laughing when her head bobbled up from underneath the water and she had a horrible scowl plastered on her face.

"Mello you…you big fat jerk head!" her yell could be heard from far away, I even saw a few of the other people across the lake look towards us. My eyes turned towards the cabin next to us, the people there were also having a fire. One of them kept staring though; even when I looked away and glanced back he was still watching. At least, I think it was a guy. It was hard to tell because of how far away they were. All I could see…was that he was wearing a black and white striped shirt.

I felt something on my leg then and looked down to see Misa grinning. She pulled on my leg hard enough that I lost my balance and fell in with her. She laughed and I just pushed water in her face. At least I didn't have to worry about Light getting jealous with me hanging out so much with Misa. Though there wasn't even a reason for that in the first place. I didn't like her that way what-so-ever. And probably never would for obvious reasons. She was more like a little sister to me.

After some swimming and dunking Misa into the water, we both got out and dried off. Of course, Misa went towards the fire but I stayed clear of it. Eventually, everyone joined me and we all sat to the side of the fire, most of them realizing why I wasn't going near it.

None of them knew what happened to me, but they knew that I wasn't too fond of flames. Misa brought me a s'more and I thanked her for it. Soon enough we were all talking and joking like usual. Even though I could feel the heat of the fire on my back from afar, my friends were keeping the heat at bay. Near and I actually didn't say terrible things to each other. It was…calming. Just what I had hoped for. But what I didn't expect was that the vacation as a whole…was going to be the exact opposite.