A/N: TIME SKIIIIIIIIP! Small skip in this chapter. Well, kinda small. Depends on how you look at it, lol. There's a plot in here somewhere, I just know it! I've been thinking really hard about this story and I seem to have some ideas for where it could go. I guess I'm just gunna have to keep writing to find out. :] This chapter is kinda smallish, so sorry for that, but I couldn't really add much more. I wanted it to end there. Well, I do hope that you guys enjoy! :D

White Noise-

Chapter Seven; Fate?

What had I just done…? My…come was on his lip…

I couldn't even look at him.

Closing my eyes I buried my face in the side of the couch and curled in on myself. It didn't help much but at least I couldn't see him anymore.

"Mello…?"

I wished that hiding his face from view meant hiding his voice as well. But obviously it didn't.

"Mello…are you okay? Come on it wasn't that bad, was it?"

Just go away so I never have to be this embarrassed again…

He sighed and I heard him light a cigarette. "I was kind of hoping you'd return the favor…"

"Shut the fuck up!" I screamed, lifting my head enough so he could hear. "I never asked for you to give me a damn favor! Go to hell!"

"You're a brat."

"You're an idiot!"

He grunted loudly and kicked something over, causing a crashing sound to fill my ears. "If you really didn't want it then you should have fucking said so!"

"I fucking hate you! Shut up!" There were tears in my eyes; he was making me so angry, with myself and with everything. I knew deep down that this boy and I were never meant to be together. I knew that because of the differences and hardships we both faced just by talking to each other. It was hard enough living life without someone like him in it, with him just complicated my life more than I could ever imagine.

I wanted and needed an escape. This situation was too much for me to deal with.

The smell of smoke invaded my nose and I sat up quickly, fixing my pants.

"What is it now?" Matt asked with a sour tone.

I glared at the ground and then cleared my eyes of any tears. "I'm leaving…"

The air was silent as I walked back into his room to grab my bag. I checked my phone with shaky hands. Misa hadn't called me yet.

I made sure it wasn't on silent and put it into my pocket while exiting the room. Matt hadn't moved from his spot on the couch. He just stared at the TV screen even though it was still unplugged.

Swallowing thickly I waited for seconds…minutes….

He still didn't move. It was like he was frozen.

And for some reason I felt…bad. Like I was the one who had done something wrong and I should…be apologizing. It didn't make any sense for me to feel that way though…did it?

I wasn't the one who was causing all of this to happen. It wasn't my damn fault!

"It's…" He turned towards me, staring at me through those goggles of his. "It's not my fault…I didn't…do anything wrong…"

His face turned quizzical, like he didn't understand what I was saying. And I felt the need to elaborate. "I didn't do anything! This is your fault!" I pointed for emphasis, or maybe I was just so mad and the gesture made me feel a little better. "You're the one who brought me here! You're the one hitting on me! You fucked everything up!"

"How is liking you fucking everything up? You're making this such a big deal, Mells."

I frowned at him. "Don't call me that…"

"Are you gunna answer me or not?" He leaned backwards a little and took a drag from his cig.

I thought for a moment and spoke slowly. "What is it that you…expect me to do? Just not go to college? Just forget about my friends…? Do you really think I'd do that so easily just for…some guy I hardly know? How stupid do you think I am…?"

"I don't think you're stupid at all, actually."

"So stop treating me like I'm five!"

"You're right, Mello."

I stopped dead in my tracks and blinked my wide eyes.

Had I just heard right…?

He sighed heavily and put out his cigarette. "You're right. This whole thing was just…stupid, yeah? You…you should go home. Make things right with your friends and uh…make something of yourself at school."

It was what I had wanted to hear come from his mouth for what seemed like a very long time. So why…did it leave me feeling empty and so…sick?

"I'm sure that taking a cab would probably be easier right now for you, so…"

Don't…say that…

"You win. Just leave when you want."

Change your mind…this isn't how you're supposed to act…

"Probably'd be best if we didn't speak after this, right? Wouldn't want to fuck things up any more than I already have."

Tell me…you're lying…

He removed his goggles and wore them around his neck to reveal his eyes. They were stony and cold, devoid of any emotion.

The exact opposite of mine.

"Hope you uh…have a nice life."

My eyes were red and sore and I ran out of that apartment faster than I thought was possible. Tears were left in my wake as I ran the streets, my bag was hitting my hip with every step and it felt like a hammer. The only thing I could do was find a bench and collapse onto it, sobbing into myself with all I had.

Why…why was I crying when this was what I wanted all along…?

Why…?

XxX

The cab ride home was long and painful. My heart felt like it was going to burst. Either that or it'd been ripped out. I was probably crying half the way home.

All I had to do was forget…just forget I had ever met someone named Matt Jeevas. Forget about his red hair and green eyes. Those dumb goggles and his striped shirts. I could forget easily…I'd done it before.

But for some reason…this felt so different. Maybe I actually…liked him…just a little.

My phone rang as the drive pulled up to my apartment.

I answered it as I exited the vehicle and paid the driver. "Hey…Misa."

The driver thanked me and was on his way. "Mello. Glad you answered. How's everything?"

I sniffed up a few tears and stared up at my small home. "Everything…is so fucked up…"

"Tell me what's wrong. Did you make it home?"

"Yeah…I'm home."

"Are you crying?"

"A little, yeah…" I walked up the stairs to my home and collapsed onto my bed.

"Why…?"

I held in the tears as best I could. "I think…for some reason…I really liked him…"

"Are you…going to miss him?"

My eyes watered slowly. "Yeah…probably…"

"Well Mello…time…heals all wounds…" I could tell she was crying too. Not for me…but because she would miss Light too.

And thus concluded my time with the goggle wearing, striped shirted redhead named Matt Jeevas.

Or…so I thought.

XxX

Two Years Later…

Time was supposed to heal all wounds.

I thought about him almost every night for those two years. And after every thought would be followed by the same old question:

Why…?

Why did I think so much about him…? Someone I hardly knew. Someone I could hardly hold a decent conversation with.

I knew that I had liked him, no matter what I said or did.

And just like I had said I would, I did miss him.

Why?

I don't even know…

You're probably wondering what happened with my friends in that time. Well, they forgave me, even though I was almost sure they wouldn't. L and Light actually did get together and have been happily dating ever since. Misa still came around, just not as often as she did before. Surprisingly, she still clung to Light when she was around him. He treated her the same. And Near was still an asshole to me. It was like nothing had really changed much.

I was happy with school. My grades were kept up because I hardly had to study. Schooling just came naturally to me, almost like everyone else in our group besides for Misa who didn't even need it anyways.

I had gotten myself a job working as a cashier part-time. It sucked but it gave me enough money to buy food and help pay off my loans.

Oh and I almost forgot to mention what I was even going to college for…

I was going to become a police detective.

Even though it sounds pretty out of reach and farfetched, it was what I had wanted to do since I was a child. Even though my anger got the best of me most of the times, I was learning to control that and look past my problems. I had to focus on the outcome.

I dreamed one day of running my own secret team of investigators and solving really difficult cases. It was all I wanted to do. And I was working hard to archive my goal.

I felt like nothing could stop me.

Until the day everything got…fucked up again.

XxX

Midsummer. It was midnight and I was closing the store. I was tired and groggy since I had worked almost the whole day. Taking off my apron I stuffed it into my backpack and exited the store, being sure to lock all the doors and turn off the lights.

It was quiet outside but warm. I put my long hair into a pony tail and began walking back to my apartment. I never took a cab or anything to work since it was only a ten minute walk. My feet were sore though so I walked a little slower than usual.

I was about halfway home when I heard a noise ahead of me. It sounded like someone punching something. My eyes wandered the area but I didn't see anyone. It wasn't until someone was pushed into my view that I figured out what was going on.

It was a fight.

Green eyes bore into mine as blood spewed from his mouth.

I was almost surprised he was wearing stripes.

I would have walked right into him if the other fighter had punched him a little later.

He picked his head back up and flew full forced at the other guy in the alleyway. I watched in awe and horror as the two fought. All the while I couldn't stop wondering that question again:

Why…?

Why was he here…? Why was he fighting? Why…?

What the hell was going on…?

I was certain I would never see him again…I'd been telling myself that for years.

Matt suddenly picked up the other man and slammed him into the wall. "Cough it up. I don't have all day." His voice…was still the same…

The man spit in his face. "Fuck you, man."

Matt punched him in the stomach, leaving the man to writhe on the ground. It was almost too much for me to watch. My feet starting backing away.

The redhead searched the man's pockets and pulled out some baggies.

It was only after he had secured all his goods that he turned towards me.

He grinned widely at me and placed the goggles over his eyes, whipping some blood from his lip. "That you, Marshmellow?"

My heart beat was flying.

I could hardly hear myself think.

All I could focus on…was him. He was walking towards me, slightly limping, placing a cigarette between his lips.

"Never thought I'd see you again, what's it been like almost two years now? Jesus, time sure does fly."

Yeah for you…I never stopped thinking about you.

He was close to me then. "Wanna go get a drink?"

His clothes were a little dirty and he smelled of cigarettes.

But what choice did I have…?

XxX

I sat awkwardly beside him, a couple feet between us. His elbows were on the bar, his goggles on the top of his head.

The whole scene was unnerving.

As he drank his beer I watched him out of the comer of my eye. I had only ordered a soda, I was still only nineteen.

Gasping after his long drink he slammed it back down onto the counter and then looked to me with wild eyes. "You're still sexy as hell, Mello. You're not even in leather today. When'd you start wearing your hair in a ponytail?"

I glared and my face was flushing. "Ever since I started work," I told him flatly.

He grinned and drank some more. Something seemed really…off about him.

"Tha'so?"

"Mhmm."

He started on his second beer. "Tell me things, Mells."

My eyebrow raised and I turned from him. "What…?"

"You know. Like, how's life and all that shit?"

He was defiantly different somehow I just couldn't pinpoint what it was. It was like…he was…high…or something.

I brushed it off for the time being and answered his question. "Everything is going great. School is good. And my job is fine."

Yawning, he downed the rest of his second beer. "Sounds like you've got your head on straight."

"I always have." I sounded a little offended but I guess it was just because the way he was talking was starting to piss me off.

It was silent then and I figured it was the best time to ask questions of my own. "Matt…" He looked at me and I looked back down at the table. "Why are you here?"

I heard him sigh. "It's kind of a long story." I waited and he sighed again. "Okay, well honestly I had no idea you lived around here…"

"You don't remember?" I cut in, eyeing him slowly.

He looked confused.

"I told you…I lived in Spring Bridge back when we first met."

He still looked confused.

"I suppose that was too much to ask of you…?"

He scratched his head a little in embarrassment. "Sorry, guess it totally slipped my mind."

Yeah. Sure.

"But anyways…You know that I uh, sell shit. And well, my boss that I work for now, well he lives down here so I figured; to be in better business, I'd move to where he was. Better communication and shit."

I only nodded and sipped some of my own drink.

"This is really awesome though, yeah? I mean it's been so long. We can actually see each other now since we live in the same area."

My heart stopped beating for a second. I felt it almost stop in my chest. His words…they scared me. This…changed things. Matt was here with me now. That was either going to make me happy, or totally ruin my fucking life.

"I-I…don't know, Matt. We have history and I…I really thought that I wouldn't ever see you again. I've been…doing just fine without you. I can't afford to fuck anything up right now either."

"What, you got a boyfriend or something?" he asked abruptly.

I snarled at him. "No. But why the hell would that even matter?"

"Girlfriend?"

"No!"

"So what's the damn issue?"

"Because…" I closed my eyes together and my fists as well, "whenever I'm around you I seem to fall apart, alright?"

He stopped drinking and looked at me with strange eyes. I swallowed and looked away from him.

Did I say something weird…?

"The hell does that mean…?" he finally asked.

"It means what it sounds like!" I turned my whole body away from him. "It's…already happening…I really can't see you, Matt…I should leave."

Standing up, I grabbed my bag but his hand shot out and attached itself around my wrist. My angry eyes met his. "Let go of me!"

"Stay at my place tonight."

"Are you out of your mind?"

"Please, Mello."

"I said no!"

"Stop shouting, you're causing a scene."

"Then let me go!"

He stood up abruptly and threw some cash on the counter, pushing me out of the building. I was growling and clawing at his hand the whole way.

When we got outside he started walking, his hand still around my wrist.

"You bastard! I said let me—"

He kissed me then.

And it was like…nothing had changed.

That warm sensation that I had missed erupted throughout my body. It seemed like it'd been forever since I had felt this way.

Warm hands traveled up and down my torso. I was shivering.

When he opened my mouth with his and began touching his tongue to mine, my eyes started to roll back into my skull. He had total control over me with just one fucking kiss…

His hands were on my back, pressing me further into him, wanting more.

It was all I could do to not collapse into his arms.

When he pulled back I noticed that I was…eye level with him, I'd grown to his height over those two years. It was strange seeing his eyes that closely.

"You've grown, Mello Yellow…" he told me, pressing his forehead to mine.

I sighed heavily, it was shaky. "I-it's been two fucking years…of course I grew…"

"You're not a little kid anymore, huh?"

"I was never a little kid, asshole…"

"So stern…" He smirked and I shifted my eyes to the ground. "Will you stay at my house tonight?"

My head was throbbing with unknown pain. Or maybe it was just the pain I got by being near the redhead. My whole life…was going to turn upside down again. I didn't know if I could actually handle that this time…

I pushed on his chest, urging him away from me. "Please, Matt…"

"Please what?"

"Just…—"

"Mello! Is that you?"

I turned and saw Misa not too far off. What was she doing out so late…? Coming to see me?

I brushed Matt's arms off of me and approached the girl, smiling dully. "Misa, it's late. What are you doing?"

"I called you like a bazillion times, Mells! I just wanted to come over for a bit. We needed to do our nails anyways, right?" She was so cheeky; I didn't even think she had noticed Matt yet.

I rubbed my forehead with my pointer finger. "You make it sound like I'm gay…"

"Stop that frowning! I'm surprised you don't have wrinkles yet!" she poked my forehead after I had moved my finger away. For some reason…at that moment, she and Matt were a lot alike.

I heard said male approach us from behind and my heart sped up.

"Uhm, Mello? Is that guy with you? He's like, totally creeping." Her eyes were slightly narrowed.

"He's…"

"Yeah, I'm with him." Matt stood beside me and wrapped his arm around my waist.

I wanted to stab his side with a knife.

"You…look like, super familiar…" And here it came, Misa's attempt at figuring out who he was. I really didn't want to stand there for hours…

"AHA!" She slammed her fist into her palm and jumped a little. I did too, but it was because she scared me. "That guy! From that Mission Impossible movie!"

I sighed and buried my face in my palm. My head was still pounding. "Misa, he's not some actor. He's nobody. Let's just go, alright?"

She pursed her lips and Matt's grip tightened on me. "Misa can come over my place too, Mello."

I couldn't help but growl out my response. "Like hell she can!"

"Mello…?" Misa piped up, she looked a little unnerved.

I had to bring things to a close. I didn't want to frighten her.

Using my heel, I ran it into his foot. He buckled slightly and it was just enough room to let me escape.

Before he could have a say in it, I ran over to Misa and grabbed her wrist. "Let's go."

Matt was glaring but I didn't care.

"Mello!"

I ran with the blonde girl beside me.

"Mello!"

I have to ignore him…I just have to…

XxX

I sat down next to Misa on my couch and handed her a diet soda, basically the only thing she'd drink. My mouth let out a heavy sigh; we had run almost the whole way here. I didn't want to stop for a moment knowing that Matt was somewhere behind me. But then again…another part of me wanted to run right back to him.

"What the hell is wrong with me…?" I asked out loud, cradling my forehead with my palm.

Misa turned towards me and said, "Nothing, Mello. Why would you say something like that?"

I clenched my teeth together in my mouth; a sour taste filled it for some reason. "That guy…you don't remember him?"

"You mean…the guy who looks like Tom Cruise?"

I laughed a little. "How in the hell does he look like Tom Cruise?"

"Well! He's…" she thought for a moment, "he's got those goggles!"

I wasn't about to argue with her. Maybe she was right. It's not like I ever watched movies. "His name is…Matt. He's the one…from the cabins…" The words hurt to say, it was like acid in my mouth, thinking back on those days. I still felt somewhat like a douchebag for ditching everyone back then, I hadn't ever spoken about it until now.

She looked surprised. "Really? That's the same guy?"

I nodded.

"Wow…"

The air was silent and I felt awkward. I probably shouldn't have even said anything…

"Well, maybe…maybe this is fate!" she exclaimed, facing my fully.

My eyes narrowed and I looked at her with confusion. "What…?"

"I mean, c'mon! You see him again, for the second time, randomly. Doesn't that mean anything? Like maybe you were meant to—"

"Hell no," I cut her off, crossing my arms on my chest. "There's no such thing as destiny and fate. Just lucky or unlucky circumstances."

"Yeah but Mello! Just think about it! You told me once that that redhead never really left your mind. And that day when you got back home, you said that you liked him. What if…you gave him a chance?"

She's gone crazy.

"I've…" I halted and thought about what I was going to say. I guess…I was thinking that I have given him plenty of chances. But that…that wasn't very true. Basically I just pushed him away before and even now. But it was only because he was so damn frustrating with everything he said and did. How could I ever think of giving someone like that any chances…?

The blonde's eyes were wide as she stared at me. "You…really haven't, have you…?"

I blinked once and then glared at the ground. "No. I haven't."

"Then try! Maybe something wonderful will happen and you'll finally feel like you've found…your one true love…" she grew quiet at the end of her sentence. I knew she was thinking of Light.

I sighed again and shook my head, turning to the girl. "Misa…" I put my hand on her shoulder and smiled. "Sometimes you say the weirdest things…"

A/N: Omg I'm down here now?! I just wanted to tell you to look on my profile for a picture that is relevant to this chapter! XD Thanks guys!

Review please?