Alfred took a deep breath. He knew he had to do this. That he had to do it as soon as possible too. However, that fact didn't make it any less difficult. This was all for the best. No matter how hard it would be to convince him, he knew it would be for the best.

He had waited long enough.

He exhaled, lifted his hand and rang the doorbell. He played with the card in his hand, flipping it over, smoothing his fingers across the face of it and feeling the difference in texture from where there were smooth words and where it was blank. He tapped his foot impatiently, wondering why it was taking so long for Ivan—or Toris even—to answer the door.

He hadn't seen his boyfriend in a few days now. Though his heart had begged him to go and see him and love him and kiss him after such a long period without him he couldn't bring himself to do it. He had also wanted to spend time with his family, the same family who didn't want him to go see his boyfriend anymore anyway. He sighed.

Even at school Ivan had been ignoring him.

Well, it would end today. They would talk this through and come to a decision, whatever it may be. Ivan would have to agree to see the psychiatrist or...or they would just have to go their separate ways. That was how it would have to be.

God he hoped the boy would just fucking accept the help because he couldn't really remember how life had been before Ivan had bullied his way in. Had they really come that far since October?

Alfred straightened up with a slight gasp as the door suddenly creaked open. Before him stood Ivan clad in his scarf, looking down at him with intense violet eyes full of emotions that Alfred just couldn't place. He'd always been a tad oblivious.

"Ivan. We need to talk." Alfred spoke, trying to sound strict and commanding. It failed in being either.

"No. Go away. You hurt big brother." Came a harsh feminine voice from the Russian teen's side. Alfred turned his head, seeing his boyfriend's younger sister clinging to his arm. She sort of reminded him of a parasitic leech. He shook the thought away. That was mean. They had just been reunited; of course she would be a bit clingy.

"Please, Ivan."

"I do not want to go to him." The taller teen snapped quickly.

"But Ivan! Listen to me-"

"No."

And the door was shut in Alfred's face. The American gritted his teeth in anger, feeling just a bit humiliated by being treated in such a fashion. So much for the mister nice guy attempt. He started to bang at the door furiously, shouting through the wood.

"Now you listen to me Ivan! If you don't open this door and talk to me about this then-then I have no choice! We can't be together! Is that what you want?" He threatened, knowing the other would open the door at the mention of losing him. They loved each other so of course Ivan would swallow his pride and just open the fucking door to talk.

There was no response.

Alfred felt his heart clench.

A twisted idea began to form within his mind, feeding despair into his young heart. "Wait...did you...did you just like me because your sisters weren't with you? Did you only care about me...because you were alone? Are you done with me now that you have a family again?" He started questioning aloud, his voice becoming softer as he continued. "Was I just a replacement, to you!" He flared up, shouting at the door and feeling like shit all of a sudden.

There was still no response.

Alfred kicked the door angrily, suddenly feeling like a piece of shit for ever believing otherwise. He hadn't meant a thing. His Dad had been right all along…

He'd wasted six months of his life. He'd fought with his family for nothing. He'd run away from them for no reason. He'd suffered so much shit…for an asshole who only needed a replacement.

"I was right! You are a no good red fucking commie bastard! I fucking hate you Braginski!" He screamed, "I hope you rot in commie hell!" He added, before briskly turning away and storming off.

He had been used.

Ivan glared at the door. Hearing the things Alfred said hurt his heart and he didn't like hearing them. He didn't like Alfred hurting but he just couldn't go to someone and talk about what had happened to him.

He refused.

Ivan would never admit it but he was scared. He was scared of opening himself up to some stranger. To show his vulnerabilities, to say things he would never dare say. Not even Alfred knew of all the tormenting thoughts that resided in his mind.

He would much rather suffer alone.

"Ivan? Why did he leave?" Katyusha asked, perplexed in her native tongue, looking at her brother with worry.

"Do not concern yourself with it, sister." He responded vaguely, turning away.

Katyusha frowned. Even if she hadn't seen her brother in a long time, she could still read his emotions somewhat. Ivan always had tried to hide his feelings behind an icy wall, but it never really worked when it came to his loving elder sister.

She could tell something was bothering her baby brother, that something was hurting him. She had no idea what, though. Why hadn't she learned English? Because she had been too old, she reminded herself. But still...She could have tried more. No use in thinking of it now.

"Vanya...What is the matter?" She probed softly.

"Nothing." He snapped back harshly, already on edge from the guilt pooling in him at refusing his lover. The voices were hissing at him, proving to him that he deserved to be alone because he drove everyone away. He couldn't drown them out.

Katyusha took a step back, the tone reminding her of days she'd rather forget, "Vanya-"

"I said it was nothing! There is nothing wrong!" Ivan growled, whirling back around to face her. He felt frustrated, and angry, and hurt because he was driving Alfred away but he just did not want to speak of this subject. Why could they not just forget about his issues and bury them away and proceed as they had before? It was much easier in his mind!

Katyusha swallowed nervously, her feet fidgeting on the hardwood floor. She had had a lot of experience with angry Russian men, and her usual tactic was to stay quiet and look away to avoid trouble. But, but this was her little brother! "I am only trying to help!" She reasoned, extending her hand out to brush some of his hair out of his face tenderly.

"Stop it! Stop helping! Everyone needs to stop helping me when I don't want help! I don't want it!" Ivan spat, slapping the hand away without another thought.

Katyusha gasped out in surprise, retracting her hand quickly. She saw something in her little brother's eyes in that one flash of anger that she had never wanted to see. "...Father."

Ivan stiffened at the word, looking at his sister intensely, "Why would you say that filthy word." He hissed.

"You-You looked like father..." She whispered, her eyes tearing up just at the thought.

Her brother's violet pools widened, and he took a step back. "Wh-What?" He breathed out in shock.

Natalia looked between them curiously, not really understanding the exchange.

"Your anger was-was just like him when you were little! Before he-he got worse..." She murmured with difficulty, squeezing her eyes shut in an effort to make the memories flooding her go away. A few tears fell down her face from the action.

Ivan rushed forward quickly, wiping away the tears he had caused. "I am sorry! I am sorry. I will not act so harshly again." He quickly assured, feeling sick in the pit of his stomach. Was this what would become of him? Was he on the road to becoming his father? The person he hated most in the world? Was this his ironic twisted fate?

The whispers in his ears taunted him with these sick questions, and he wanted to cover his ears and shout at them to leave him alone when they all clamored yes to every single one.

Maybe...Maybe he did need the help.

He would rather be in jail than become his father.

He disentangled himself from his younger sister (with many protests from her) and grabbed his coat. "I have to go." He explained quickly, before opening the door and leaving.

There was a knock at the Bonnefoy residence.

Alfred sprinted out of his chair, running to the door before anyone else could even react. His heart swelled up with the hope that maybe-just maybe-Ivan had come back to apologize and accept his offer. That he really did care about him.

He opened the door without another thought and immediately felt disappointed. Before him was not his handsome yet mentally scarred boyfriend but instead, his annoying friend (sometimes at least) Gilbert.

"What are you doing here?" He asked bluntly, looking over the albino's shoulder to see if Ivan was maybe coming down the sidewalk and he just couldn't see him.

Gilbert rolled his eyes, "To see your brother, duh. And it's nice to see you too, Al. Always such a charmer." He added with a smirk.

Except he didn't really feel like smirking.

"Oh shut up." Alfred snapped, turning around to yell into his house, "Mattie! Your boyfriend's here!"

Gilbert flinched at the term. Alfred didn't notice.

Light footsteps were heard coming down the stairs before Matthew appeared before them with a soft smile. "Hey Gil!" He greeted warmly.

Gilbert couldn't hold his violet-blue gaze and let his own fall to the ground briefly, "Hey Matt! Umm...I need to talk to ya..."

"Yeah, of course! Is something wrong?" Matthew asked worriedly, taking a step forward. "We can talk in my room." He added, motioning up the stairs with his head.

Gilbert swallowed nervously, "A-Actually...I can't stay long. Can we just talk outside?"

Matthew blinked, "Uh...Sure."

Alfred watched his brother grab his jacket and leave with Gilbert to talk by his car. There was a prickling feeling under his skin about this whole situation, but he decided it wasn't anything. He had more important things to worry about. Like Ivan.

Matthew leaned against his boyfriend's truck, looking at the other curiously. "What's up?" He asked, scratching at his cheek. Gilbert seemed so oddly quiet. Now that he thought about it though...he'd been awfully quiet for a while now. "I feel like we haven't hung out in a whi-."

Gilbert interrupted (as usual) and did what he did best: spoke bluntly.

"I think we need to break up."

Matthew stared at him in shock. His heart accelerated, his eyes darted about Gilbert's face to see if he was lying, joking or anything.

All he saw was pain and resolve.

"What?" He finally forced out, feeling suddenly lost and confused.

"I love you Matt. I do. But I can't play second fiddle all the time." Gilbert blurted out, ruffling his own hair about nervously. "I just...I just can't."

"What? What are you talking about?" Matthew quickly asked, feeling something he loved more than almost anything slipping away from him, right before his eyes.

"Matt…I...I really needed you these past few months, and I especially needed you the past few weeks and...you weren't there. It's always Alfred this and Alfred that and I get it. He's your brother. But...But I'd like to think I'm just as important as he is and I don't care if it's selfish because I am a selfish ass person and I don't like being put to the side like this!" He spilled out, fiddling with his clothing, tapping his feet, just being restless in general.

"I...Gil I didn't mean to-"

"Yeah…I know. But. I...I need to figure some stuff out with my own family. And you don't have the time to deal with that I guess, cause your family has it's own shit to deal with so I think...We should just take a break for a while."

"...A break?" Matthew echoed hollowly.

"Yeah...for like a few months or something... Until we're all sorted out and shit like that. God this is so unawesome." He muttered. "I...I gotta go home..." He said after a moment, not looking at Matthew's face at all. He opened his car and stepped inside, starting the vehicle.

Matthew hadn't moved or responded or maybe he hadn't even noticed he was leaving. Gilbert looked away and started pulling out of the driveway.

He was almost out when a desperate cry stopped him, "W-Wait!" Matthew shouted after him, looking like he was about to cry. Gilbert never wanted to see him like that, especially when he knew it was his fault. Still he stopped, "We-We can still be friends right? And-And get back together? At some point? Please..."

"Of course!" He shouted back, giving him a forced grin before speeding away. He gripped the steering wheel tightly.

He had done the right thing. It had hurt too much to feel marginalized as well as suffer from his family problems. Now he could just focus on West and Feli and dealing with that. Then...Then when everything felt ok, they could be together again and everything would be awesome like in the beginning but until then he guessed he could survive as just friends. Maybe.

Matthew watched him go silently. He felt numb. He didn't really know how to react. His boyfriend had broken up with him but not really. Apparently he hadn't even noticed Gilbert suffering, which meant he was an awful boyfriend.

He was just so emotionally confused.

He stepped in the house again, slipping off his jacket and wondering what he was supposed to feel.

"Mattie? What did he want?" Alfred asked, watching his brother come in looking despondent. His protective senses were tingling. Did he need to kick an albino's ass?

Matthew looked at his brother intensely for a moment. He had been too focus on his twin to notice Gilbert's feelings or problems. It was all Alfred's fault. If anyone was to blame, it was him.

And yet he couldn't.

Because it wasn't Alfred's fault. It was his own. And looking at Alfred who was watching him worriedly, with all the love and care his brother had always held for him, there was no way he could be angry at him for this.

He took a step forward and hugged him suddenly, pulling him in close.

"Mattie?" Alfred questioned, surprised at the sudden action. The word ended with a hint of worry.

"He broke up with me." Matthew answered in a soft whisper, burying his face in the crook of his twin's shoulder. He wasn't crying, though. He didn't know why he was…Should he be? He was so…so confused…he didn't even know.

"He what? The fucker!" Alfred growled, pulling his brother closer protectively before adding with a smirk, "I'll key his car. Wanna take a Louisville slugger on both his headlights?"

Matthew laughed lightly, pulling away with a smile, "Nah. We're still friends...He said it was just a break. Maybe it's for the best..."

Alfred frowned a little, "You sure? I can hack into his facebook you know? We can change all his personal information to embarrassing shit."

Matthew laughed again, "Hmm…Maybe. But nothing too mean."

"Mattie, you suck at being vengeful."

"Oh shut up."

The doorbell rang again, making Matthew flinch.

Alfred had insisted that he eat ice cream and watch chick flicks with him like he was suppose to after having a break up. Matthew had argued that he wasn't a girl and he didn't feel like it. Alfred had then yelled at him for doing everything wrong. And Matthew had responded that he refused to be used as an excuse for his brother to watch girly romance movies. Alfred told him to fuck off and the degenerated into an argument.

Needless to say, the two brothers were now eating ice cream while watching a Pixar movie as a compromise. It was Up to be exact, and Alfred was already sobbing.

"I know it's sad Al…but…She hasn't even dad yet in the little flashback and you've already gone through all the tissues in the box…"

"SHUT UP! It's so sad, they were so perfect and leave me alone with my feelings!" His brother snapped back defensively, blowing his nose loudly. It was knowing that she would die in a few minutes that made it all the worse! In fact he was just about to argue that when the doorbell rang.

Matthew flinched, Alfred didn't notice.

The elder brother sat up, going toward the door to answer it while furiously wiping at his red eyes. Their parents had gone out (something about the fact that they had been basically at each other's throats since Alfred had run off and now that he was safe, they wanted to spend some time together without the tension hanging over them. Or at least that's what his Dad had said. He was pretty sure they were just gonna have dinner, maybe get drunk and hopefully rent a hotel room to do what they do instead of doing it at home. He really didn't want to wake up to those sounds.) and so the twins were left alone in their home.

Matthew paused the movie, peering over the couch to see if maybe it was Gilbert coming home to apologize, or to laugh it off as a joke or something…

It wasn't.

Alfred opened the door to Ivan. They stared at each other in equal surprise. Alfred didn't expect the other at his door, Ivan didn't expect to find him with the remnants of tears all over his face. They just stared at each other.

Alfred reacted first, he slammed the door shut with a loud, "Fuck off, commie!"

Matthew, for his part, blinked excessively for a few seconds in disbelief. He hadn't heard Alfred call the Russian that in a long time, at least not seriously…Had something happened? Then again…he had been hoping they would break up, if only for the fear of Alfred's overall safety.

It took a while for Ivan to register that Alfred had slammed the door in his face. All he was thinking about was how he had made Alfred cry. It looked like he had cried really hard. He had caused that sadness. He'd made his brilliant ray of warmth, cry.

He felt even worse.

"Alfred! Alfred…Alfred, open the door." He called through the wood, banging on it. "I…I am here to apologize…"

Alfred almost opened the door at the confession, but he held strong, "And?"

Ivan scrunched his violet eyes together, "…and?"

"And will you talk?" The American pressed, hand clenching the doorknob tightly.

Ivan let out a deep sigh, "Da."

Alfred opened the door. Ivan smiled that smile of his and moved forward to wrap him in a hug; however, Alfred refused him. Ivan gave him a frown, tilting his head in confusion.

"Were you only using me to fill the void of your sisters being gone?" Alfred asked softly, glaring at the floor with a sad frown. He fidgeted a little, tugging at the end of his shirt.

Ivan was taken aback by the bluntness of the question, but, then again, it was his American and he should have expected such behaviors by now. He smiled softly, ruffling the others hair.

"At first, I thought that. But now I know for sure. It is not so." He responded, leaning closer. This time, Alfred allowed him the pleasure of wrapping his arms around him.

"It better be, I was about to fuckin' kill you for stringin' me along like that." He spat, but the anger waned and a smile curled on his lips, especially when Ivan leaned down to kiss his cheek.

Ivan chuckled, pressing one more kiss on his lips before pulling away.

Alfred wanted to melt into that kiss, he really did. But he couldn't. This argument wasn't just about that.

"Ivan….I know, I know you don't want to but—" Alfred couldn't finish the thought because his boyfriend shut him up with a kiss. It would have annoyed him. It really would have if not for the next few words he said.

"I shall go." Ivan whispered, somewhat nervously but still with a certain determination that made Alfred know, for sure, that he would.

A sudden sense of happiness, of victory, of—of pure love overcame the young American, forcing him to jump up into the other's arms excitedly, wrapping his own around his neck. Ivan, for his part, was surprised by the action but it took it all in stride, supporting his weight and chuckling as he the other kissed his face.

He'd made the right choice.

And as Alfred spoke enthusiastically about everything and anything into his ear, punctuating this and that with loud kisses, the voices seemed to quiet somewhat. He wasn't clinging on a ledge of sanity any longer…he'd been safely pulled up by strong, compassionate, American hands.

And he found himself grateful for that.

oh my god

did i just finish clinging

did i

oh my god

holy shit

i can't even

Guys, thank you so so so so so so much for sticking' with me through this entire thing! Without you I would have never gotten this far! I can't even believe I made it...

If only this chapter didn't suck so much. orz

I APOLOGIZE FOR ALL THE DELAYS AND THINGS LIKE THAT. School is hard and the past month my 8 year old computer died, and would not be fixed. It would delete my documents and horrible things like that. I just got a new one, though~ Yay.

So umm...yeah...i hope you enjoyed. There hopefully will be an epilogue! And I'm still planning that prequel...but I may write a few smaller stories before then. We shall see.

THANKS SO MUCH AGAIN

I LOVE YOU ALL.

EDIT: FF KEPT REFUSING TO POST THIS FRICKEN CHAPTER. I've been trying since yesterday orz