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Chapter 8

Lily Evans' world was crumbling. A year ago, she was dating Frank Longbottom. She thought they would get married. She had good friends. She detested James Potter. She thought she would have to kill him if necessary. She had a loving and healthy family. Now she spent her spare weekends visiting her mother in the hospital, while Petunia complained that Lily was never around to help out.

"I have school!" Lily would argue with Petunia. The two of them stood outside their mother's hospital room, arms crossed, staring at one another.

"You can make time," Petunia spat.

"It's a hard school! I can't fall behind!" Lily yelled.

"Girls, stop!" their father said crossly, walking out into the hallway. "She can hear you."

Both girls looked down in shame, knowing they had upset their mother. Their father returned to their mother's side and the two girls continued to glare at one another.

"I'll be done with school soon," Lily said quietly.

Petunuia nodded.

"Well, you should go. It's almost seven. You'll miss your train," Petunia said quietly.

Lily nodded and then walked into her mother's hospital room. Her mother was lying in the bed trying to sleep. She was frail. Her once beautiful face was now sunken and sallow. She had two months left at best.

"Mum," Lily said quietly, kneeling down to her bedside.

"I don't think she can hear you," her father said.

Lily nodded. She kissed her mother on the cheek and then hugged her father goodbye.

"See you soon," she said to her father. Lily walked out of the room and to the hallway, where her sister stood sulking, leaned up against the wall. She walked over to her sister and forced a hug upon her, grabbing her tightly. Petunia burst into tears.

"Sorry," Lily said.

"Me too," Petunia said.

They finished their hug and Lily bid her sister goodbye. She left the hospital's front entrance and then turned the corner to the alleyway where she disapparated.

Lily's first order of business when she returned back to Hogwarts was to head to the Room of Requirement with James where her friends assumed she was working on potions with James Potter. But after two weeks, there were no more potions brought to the room. It was once a room full of cauldrons and supplies. It now was a room with just a sofa and a dimly lit candle. They would sit there for hours, snogging, occasionally feeling each other through their clothes and even at one point, Lily got James to take his shirt and pants off.

"We should really," James kept trying to say as Lily kissed him.

"What?" she asked.

"We should try and get some work done," he said, lying down on the sofa with her on top of him. "I have Charms to study for."

"I like doing this better," she replied.

"This is wrong," James kept saying.

"No," Lily corrected him in between kisses. "Don't ruin this!"

James rolled off the sofa and onto the floor, away from Lily. He looked up at her. This was everything he had dreamed of a year ago, hell, last month. Her lips were red and swollen, her shirt halfway open with her black bra peeking out and her skirt unzipped.

"We should have ground rules," James breathed.

"Why?" Lily asked. James stood and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Because…we just should!" he said, sitting with her. "Now…I think, we should…try and go maybe three minutes without…touching each other."

"Three minutes?"

"You're right. I can't do it either," James said. He grabbed her and kissed her, this time working his mouth down her neck and into her chest.

"We should…do more than this," Lily said, slightly breathless. James stopped kissing her and leaned back into the pillows to look at her.

"What?"

"We should…go further," she said, choosing her words carefully.

"Evans, I—"

"I know you want to," Lily said. She took James's hand and placed it on her chest. "Because I want to."

James simply kept staring at her.

"Potter?"

James had passed out. But after he was revived, they agreed that the following evening—the final day of the term—they would sleep together.

It was two days before the term ended. James woke up incredibly early. He couldn't stop thinking about his plans for that evening. He sat at breakfast, barely eating and drinking as much coffee as he could.

"What are we doing tonight?" Remus asked James and Peter.

"Hogsmede," Peter suggested.

"I have to do a final test run on one of my potions with Evans," James lied.

"Evans is doing homework at the last minute?" Peter asked skeptically. "Plus, we always go to Hogsmede the second to last day."

James nodded. "Yeah, she's been trying to finish up all her Ancient Runes stuff, so I guess she's just been putting stuff off. I'll try and meet you guys later though?"

"But—"

Mary interrupted them, cutting Remus off mid-sentence. She thrust a letter into Remus's face, waving it about as she sat with them.

"Delivered to me by mistake, Remus," she said.

"Oh, thanks," Remus said. He tore open the letter and began to smile.

"Adeline?" James asked him.

"Yeah," Remus said, grinning.

"Who's Adeline?" Mary asked.

"No one," Remus said, standing. Remus left the table to continue reading his letter. Mary rolled her eyes and looked to James and Peter for answers.

"French girl he met last summer," Peter said.

"So he's dating her?"

"If you want to call writing to each other dating, then yes," James said.

"Remus doesn't date. He's notorious for it," Mary disputed. "Sirius used to joke about it all the time."
"Sirius doesn't know about Adeline. Remus never told him to avoid any ribbings," Peter said.

"Oh…have um…have you talked to Sirius at all?" Mary asked cautiously.

"He writes occasionally," Peter said. "His uncle's doing better."

Mary nodded.

"Well good."

"I've got to get going. I need to clean out my Quidditch locker," James said, standing.

"Oh! Wait!" Mary said, grabbing his hand as he stood. He immediately sat once she grabbed his hand.

"What is it?"

"I am having serious problems with my transfiguration project. Could I see yours and Lily's? I'd ask Lily, but…she's in a foul mood."

"Evans is never in a bad mood," Peter laughed.

"Clearly you don't live with her," Mary shot at him.

"We're not done yet," James said.

"Why not?" Mary asked, appalled.

"We're just not," he shrugged.

"Lily's always done with homework early."

"Well not with me," James said.

Mary let go of her hand and sighed. "I hope she's OK."

"Why do you say that?" Peter asked.

"Her mother."

"What do you mean?"

"Her mother's dying. She has some Muggle disease," Mary said passively.

"Her mother's dying?" James asked.

"She came home last night in tears," Mary said. "Says she only has a few weeks. Days maybe. They don't know."

"Her mother's dying?" James asked again.

"Do you have a hearing problem, Prongs?" Peter asked.

"No, I just…you know, we work closely together. She never mentioned it."

"Well, it's not looking good," Mary informed him.

James nodded and disengaged his hand from Mary's and stood. "Well, I've still got to go. See you guys later."

James walked down to the pitch by himself, mulling over what Mary had just told him. And while he mulled and walked, he found himself standing at the back entrance of the school, looking out onto the lawn. As he scanned the lawn, he could see Lily sitting by a tree, reading as she usually did. He waved kindly, and just as he was about to take a step closer, he was stopped by Mr. Spears.

"James, hello!" Mr. Spears said happily.

"Hi, Mr. Spears," James said. "Oh! Minister, now! Sorry, sir."

"No, James. You can always call me Edward. You know that," he said.

Emily's father was now the Minister of Magic. It was a post no one wanted at this particular moment in time. No one.

James smiled nervously.

"Will you be joining us for dinner tonight?" Mr. Spears asked.

"Oh…uh…probably not," James said, shrugging. "I've got um…finals to study for."

"Well, once you're done with school for the term, come over to the house with Emily and—"
"Emily?" James asked. He looked behind the Minister where he could see Emily scowling.

"Yes, Emily," Mr. Spears said, laughing. "You're the only boyfriend of hers I've ever liked, you know?"

"Boyfriend?"

"Yes. I'm hoping you two will be together for a long, long time."

"Oh, sir—"

"Dad, Mum's waiting and James is busy. He has things to do," Emily said, interjecting. James glared at her.

"Oh, yes," Mr. Spears said looking at his watch. "Well, James, I'll see you later. Good luck with your finals."

"Thank you," James said. He shook the Minister's hand.

Emily then erased the scowl from her face and smiled at James. She walked forward and kissed him promptly on the lips.

"Bye. See you later, darling," Emily said.

James pulled her in and whispered, "I'm going to kill you."

"I love you too," Emily said, loud enough for her father to hear. She kissed him again and then took off with the Minister.

James stood there completely stunned. His ex-girlfriend had just kissed him in front of her father, in front of people on the lawn, in front of Lily.

He immediately turned to the tree that Lily had been sitting under and found that she had already vacated the spot. Maybe she hadn't seen, he thought. Hopefully she hadn't seen.

Nevertheless, James headed down to the pitch. He cleaned out his locker as well as Sirius's (which was primarily just gross socks at this point) and began to leave the pitch. On his way out of the locker area however, he passed the Ravenclaws and noticed Jessica Relly and Daniel Parker were also cleaning out their lockers.

At the end of fifth year, when James had learned of his father's declining health, he began to do some stupid things. He began to take a few more chances with Lily Evans. And when Lily Evans ignored his attempts, he went after Jessica Relly. Jessica Relly was a beautiful blonde Ravenclaw. She was a year ahead of James and had had a large crush on him for quite some time. The only problem was, she was dating Daniel Parker. But at the time of his father's declining health, James didn't particularly care about the details. He began to hit on Jessica, and she soon broke up with Daniel. James and she lasted about two months before James broke up with her for being too needy.

The two of them walked out in front of James as they walked out of the locker area.

"Jessica," James said. Jessica stopped walking and turned to look at James with Dan next to her.

"What is it?"

"Can we talk?"

Jessica turned to Dan and she shrugged, causing him to scowl. She joined James on the close by bench watching Dan stalk off.

"How are you?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she answered, looking around them wondering if people were staring at them.

"Good. I have a weird question to ask you," James said.

"What is it? I have potions in a bit and—"
"Do you hate me?"

Jessica paused and looked at him, pushing her blonde hair out of her face and tucking it behind her ear.

She sighed, "No."

"No? Really? I treated you pretty horribly," he said honestly.

"You did. And any one of my friends will tell you that you are a terrible human being," she replied. "But you were…it was a rough time…you…your dad…"

"I did some pretty stupid things then, huh?"

"Yes," Jessica said. "Why are you asking me this?"

"Perspective," James said quietly.

"I had a huge crush on you James," she said. "And you knew it."
"Well—"
"And you took advantage of it," she continued.

"I didn't mean to. I'm sorry," he said meaningfully.

"It took months to fix what you did. With Dan and me, I mean," she said. "He doesn't trust me. You have no idea how I'll have to explain this conversation. He hates you."

"I'd be alarmed if he didn't hate me," James said.

Jessica smiled.

"What are you post-Hogwarts plans?"

"I got a job offer in the Ministry," she said. "So did Dan!"

"Well good luck," James said, standing.

"Thanks. You too. I hope…I hope seventh year is good to you," she said. Jessica stood as well and James hugged her briefly.

"Thanks," he said. Jessica nodded and made her way up the lawn in pursuit of Dan.

Remus sat in the Common Room still reading his letter from Adeline. He was completely alone in the room…until he began to hear a quiet sob of sorts. Remus pulled out his wand and stood, walking throughout the room. He reached a corner of the room that had a chair facing a well and a brown blanket covering a person who was underneath sobbing. Remus took his wand and unleashed the blanket from the person's body and found that it was Lily who was quietly sobbing by herself.

"Evans! Are you OK? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Lily lied.

"Evans, you're sitting with a blanket over your head crying. I think something is wrong!"

"I'm fine, Remus," she said, getting up from her seat and wiping the tears away from her face. "Just stressed out. OK?"

"OK…"

"Um…will you…did you…did you know James and Emily are…back together or…something?" she stuttered.

"What? No, they're not," Remus said, laughing.

"They're not? Then why did she kiss him…twice…this morning?"

"I…I don't know," Remus said, slightly shocked

"You…I've never seen you get mad over James and Emily together before. You…are you…are you and James…?"

"Are we what? Nothing. We're nothing," she said curtly. "And at this point, I'm not even sure that we're friends. And I'm not mad about James and Emily! I…I…I'm mad because…I'm stressed out."

"Why don't you go take a nap?" Remus suggested.

"I have too much work to do," she said. She wiped away a few more tears. "I'm going to the library. See you later."

"Ok…"

Lily exited the common room, leaving Remus to think about what she had just said. Not two minutes after she left, James entered.

"What is it with women?" he asked loudly.

"What?"

"Women! What is…what is wrong with them?!"

"Prongs—"
"Emily Spears just walked up to me and kissed me…twice!"
"When?"

"This morning on the lawn! Her father thinks we're together! The whole school saw it!"

"Even Evans?"

"What?"

"Evans? Did she see?"

"I…I don't know. Probably."

"She's upset, you know?" Remus said.

"About what? Her mother?"

"No. About you and Emily. Thought you were back together," Remus said.

"Really?"
"Yeah," Remus confirmed. "What's going on? Are you guys…?"
"Nothing. Nothing's going on," James lied.

Lily sat in the library for the rest of the day near tears, eating dark chocolate and trying to read. James was going to get back together with Emily Spears, she thought. And the problem with that was that Lily actually cared. Previously, she wouldn't have thought twice about James's life. And now…she found herself sitting in the library crying over it.

However, as planned, Lily headed to the Room of Requirement on their designated hour.

Lily sat on the sofa fiddling with her thumbs while she waited for James. He finally opened the door and arrived.

"Thank Merlin. What took you so long?" she asked, standing.

"Got held up with Remus," James said, walking over to her and sitting on the sofa with her, kissing her on the cheek.

"So…"

"So…tonight was supposed to be the night," he said awkwardly, clapping his hand on her leg. She nodded.

A silence overwhelmed them and Lily's blood began to boil thinking of James being back together with Emily Spears.

"We shouldn't uh…we shouldn't do what we were planning to do," she said, looking away.

"Why not?"

"I just um…I don't want one of us getting too attached and having there be some…unresolved feelings out there."

She finally turned her head to look at him.

"Unresolved feelings?"

"Yes," She confirmed.

James nodded.

"It wouldn't have worked anyway," he said.

"It wouldn't have?" Lily asked in surprise.

"No," he laughed. He locked eyes with her and then kissed her once more. "You would hit the ground running the minute people found out."

"I…"

"Lily, come on. I know what this was," James said, shaking his head.

"What? What do you think it was?"

"You are in a phase. You dated the same guy for almost three years, had an entire school full of blokes after you and then you break up with said guy and…you're different. It's only natural you go for an easy target like myself for some fun," James surmised.

"Potter—"

"You can't even call me by my first name, can you?"
"I—"
"You know what's next?"

"What?"

"Drinking," he said.

"What?" she asked.

James kissed her again and stood. "I know what's going on with you."
"James—"

"Oh, I was wrong. You do know my first name," he said, smiling. He took her hand. "Your mother is getting sicker and sicker. I know. You are going to go do some stupid things this holiday. I know you will. You know how I know?"

She shook her head.

"I went through the same thing last holiday."

"Potter—"

He leaned down and kissed her. "When you're ready for something more. Let me know. Until then, I will keep my distance."

James exited the Room of Requirement immediately, allowing Lily to process her thoughts.

The next morning, James began collecting all the things in his room to pack them up. While he packed, he found a few things of Emily's that he promptly put into a small box. He heard a knock on the door and turned to find Emily standing there with a box of his things.

"Great minds think alike," she said, laughing as she looked at the box of things James had made up for her.

"You know your potions book is in there?" James laughed. "What'd you do all term?"

"I used my partner's," she said, sitting down on Sirius's empty bed. "Thanks for being a good sport yesterday with my dad."

"He thinks we're together. Why?" James wanted to know.

"Not worth it to tell him we broke up," she said. "He has enough on his plate. Don't want him to freak out on me."

"You're the favorite child though," James said. "You can do no wrong."

"Exactly. That's why I can't tell him we broke up. I want to stay the favorite child," she said. "So what are you doing for holiday?"

"Not much," James said. "You?"

"Nothing," she said. "We should do nothing and not much together."

"What?"

"We can be friends, can't we?"

"I suppose," James said. "But…I've never really had a friend that's a girl that hasn't led to…"

"You and Evans are friends," Emily said.

"We—"

"You're not dating is what I'm trying to say," she said, cutting him off. Emily was mustering up the courage to say something to him, he could tell.

"No, we're not."

"I'm sorry I broke up with you," Emily apologized suddenly. "You're not with her. I figured if you did love her the way Frank was saying you did, you'd be with her. Right now."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I was wrong to end things because of Frank Longbottom," she said firmly.

"Yeah. You were," James said.

"I hear she's quite a mess these days anyway," Emily continued, talking about Lily.

"How so?"

"She left in the middle of the night last night," Emily told him. "Her mother's dying."

"Oh…yeah. It's really bad apparently," James said.

Professor McGonagal had awakened Lily in the middle of the night. She left the school immediately, leaving her things behind. Her friends would pack up her belongings and send them to her.

"So can we be friends?" Emily asked him.

"Yeah. Sure," James said, shrugging.

"Good. I'll see you on the train," she said, grabbing her box of items James had collected for her.

Hours later, James, Remus and Peter exited the train to platform 9 ¾ where they found Sirius waiting for them.

"Missed you, mate," James said, dropping his bags to hug Sirius.

"Well why wouldn't you? I'm a national treasure," Sirius said. He moved on to Peter, giving him a hug as well and finally to Remus, who kept looking the other way so he did not have to look at Sirius at all.

"Still not talking to me?" Sirius asked.

Remus shook his head.

"I sent you four apology letters! Pages and pages and pages!" Sirius said emphatically.

Remus finally turned to look at him. "Did you know other people know? Besides you three, I mean? Did you? And they're not even my best friends and they didn't tell anyone!"

"But—"

"No! No buts!" Remus said crossly. He turned to James and Peter. "I'll see you guys later."

With that, Remus left the platform in pursuit of home, leaving Sirius to stare after him.