Disclaimer: I still don't own VA. Sob sob cry cry.

Chapter 18

3rd Person POV

A two year old Alekzandre Hathaway toddled into the kitchen. Rosemarie Hathaway ran around the island and picked him up. She blew on his tummy and he giggled. "Happy birthday Alek!" Adrian yelled from behind the camera.

"Birfday?" Alek asked questioningly. Rose nodded and set him in his highchair between Zakariah Hathaway and Nikoli Hathaway.

"Is Aleksi still asleep?" Rose asked. Lissa walked in and set Aleksi Hathaway in her highchair.

"Nope." Adrian said. Rose smacked him and he just laughed. She stuck her tongue out at him and then went over to her children. She kissed every one of them and said happy birthday to them. There was a look of peace and happiness on her face you would never have guessed she'd been through so much.

"Mom! Dad! It's time to cut the cake!" Janine Hathaway and Ibrahim Mazur ran into the kitchen. Rose set a small cake in front of each of the children. Each had two small lit candles in the middle. Adrian hovered closely in case something went wrong.

"Here they all are. Zak, Alek, Niki, and Leksi. All of them turned two today." Adrian narrated and pointed the camera at the kids as he said their names.

They blew out the candles and before anyone knew it, they dug in. The truth of them being Rose's kids showing in their appetites. Christian pulled out another cake from the fridge and cut it. He gave every person that wasn't at that moment in time devouring cake a piece.

Adrian stopped the tape. He couldn't handle much more. He'd been torturing himself for hours but he couldn't stop. He put in another one. This time one of when Alek was in the hospital.

Alek lay in the bed sleeping. He looked everything but peaceful. There were wires and needles stuck in his skin. Rose lay under him. She too was sleeping. A sob is heard along with Adrian's voice. "He's been in here for six months. They say he won't make it for much longer," another sob, "I've tried healing him along with Lissa. It's not working. He just gets sicker. I'm sorry Alek. I couldn't get your dad for you. But know that I love you like you were my son."

The tape stopped. Adrian was in tears. "I'm sorry Alek."

Aleksi POV

I walked down to the living room trying to find Adrian. I found him on the couch watching home movies. I sat down beside the couch and watched with him. After a while I noticed a theme to them. They all had Alek and my mom in them. The last tape stopped and I heard him say, "I'm sorry Alek." I decided it was time for me to speak up.

"Uncle Adrian?" He looked up startled and tried to dry his tears.

"What is it Leksi?" I sat on his lap and buried my tear soaked face in his neck. It was my favorite position when I was little and it still calmed me now.

"I'm sorry." Adrian rubbed my back and didn't say anything. We stayed in that position not saying anything for what seemed like hours. Then the door sprang open and Marcus stepped through followed closely by my brothers. He looked furious until he noticed my face and how I was sitting on Adrian. He knew I never liked to show weakness. Tears are a sign of weakness I told myself. Pull it together. I finally pulled on a guardian mask and wiped my tears. "Did you want something Marcus?"

"Yeah, can I talk to you alone?" I nodded and got up off Adrian. Zak stepped up then.

"No. I come with you guys."

"No. I can handle myself thank you very much Zakariah." I said to him. His eyes hardened.

"I know you can but I will still come with you Aleksi." I sighed and allowed him to follow us. I noticed Nikoli following. We went up to my room and let Marcus and Zak in. I shut Niki out. He would flip shit if he heard what we were going to talk about. I locked the door. Instantly Zak took hold of me and sat us both on my bed. I knew he was just being protective and let him.

I patted the bed in front of me. "Might as well have a seat Marcus. It'll take a while to explain everything." He sat down in front of me so I began to explain. "You want to know why right?" He nodded. "I was scared. I thought that you wouldn't want anything to do with me anymore. Do you realize what the family would say? I was afraid I would traumatize the poor kid. I'm so messed up and I still have issues. I was only thirteen. I didn't want to deal with any of it. So I got rid of the problem. Well thought I did. Directly after I regretted it Marcus. I swear that to you. I wanted to take it back but I couldn't. I can't." I sobbed into my brother's shirt. I felt another pair of arms grab ahold of me. Zak let me be transferred into Marcus's lap. I sobbed into his shirt.

"Shhh Leksi. Everything will be alright." That was all he said but it felt like he said so much more. "Why didn't you tell me?"

I shook my head. "I thought you wouldn't want anything to do with me. That you would call me a liar."

"This doesn't have anything to do with Belikov does it?" I shook my head even though I knew that was a lie. It had everything to do with him. Everything I ever did had everything to do with him. Marcus sighed and kissed the top of my head. "Whatever you want to say. Just so you know, I love you."

I stiffened. "Don't say what you don't mean."

"But Leksi, I mean it. I've loved you for a while."

"Don't lie to me. Love isn't real. There is affection and infatuation. There is no such thing as love." I got up and went to go out the door. Marcus grabbed onto my arm. I tried to pull back but couldn't lose his grip. Zak grabbed onto him and told him to let go. I stormed out practically running over a stunned Niki. There was no such thing as love.

~Flashback~

It was a week after our fifth birthday. We could tell she was extremely sad and tired. I didn't think much of it. She wouldn't really look at us anymore. We were lucky to receive our hugs that day. She told us that she loved us and then pulled out a gun. It was just us three kids and Lissa there that day. I thought she was going to kill us. I'd cried when she wouldn't pick me up. But instead she pointed the gun at her head and pulled the trigger. She fell and Lissa tried to heal her and eventually dragged her away. When Lissa came back she was sobbing and I just knew that I'd lost my mother.

~End of Flashback~

There is no such thing as love.

Ok so I'm sorry for all the Aleksi POV's. It just seems fitting for right now. I promise next chapter will have another POV and Rose. She'll definitely be in the next chapter. Sorry for the long wait. Anywho… REVIEW! ^^