Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable. That all goes to Richelle Meade.

Chapter 19

Rose POV

The house loomed over me as I walked up the steps to the porch. It looked almost exactly the same as it had nine years ago. Four sets of little handprints were pressed into the concrete of the steps. The tricycles were gone from the porch. The porch swing was a little worn from use. I sighed at the memories that were dragged up.

I turned the doorknob but it wouldn't budge. When did they start locking the door? I pulled out my key and put it in the keyhole, but it wouldn't fit. I frowned. The locks had been changed. I was left with only one way to get in, ring the doorbell. It took out the element of surprise but this was my family. What did it matter? I rang the doorbell. Nothing happened for a few minutes. Before I could ring the doorbell again, the door swung open. Standing in the doorway was a teenage boy looking fourteen or fifteen years old with dark brown almost black hair and blue eyes wearing a simple blue t-shirt and jeans. All that was on his feet were socks. The freckle on his nose told me it was Nikoli. After the initial shock of seeing my son again, I pulled him into my arms. He stiffened for a few seconds before he wrapped his arms around me. "Mommy?" I nodded and kissed his head and face multiple times. I could feel tears go down my cheeks. I was so stupid for leaving them. He seemed to recover and pulled away from me as if I'd hit him. He was crying but his eyes were filled with anger. I was expecting him to hit me so I blocked it when it came. I blocked two more punches before he started sobbing again. I had hurt him so much. I didn't think the others would be much different. Niki grabbed onto me like I was his lifeline. I had heard from Lissa that they had refused to cry anymore. I wonder what changed.

I sighed and walked him backwards so we were both inside. The entryway didn't look that different than when I had been here last. I was hoping the rest of the house was the same. I turned into what I thought was the living room. The furniture had changed and the TVs looked brand new, but the color of the walls and carpet was the same. Some of the pictures around everywhere were the same. I noticed the lack of photos of me and Alek. My heart beat painfully in my chest for a minute at the thought of my baby. I ignored it in favor of trying to get Niki to sit down. He refused and I was forced to sit and pull him onto my lap. He had stopped crying and now seemed to be inhaling my scent and was running his hands over my face. Probably trying to memorize it, I thought. He looked at me and gave me a weak smile.

"I'm sorry Mommy." His smile disappeared and he jumped up off my lap like I'd tased him. He started mumbling to himself. I caught bits and pieces like "…crazy…not here…imagining things…ghosts again…" I gasped. He could see ghosts? I wouldn't doubt him if he could. Hell I could see them. But it was a shock as Lissa didn't say anything about him having bonded with anybody.

I pulled Niki back down on my lap. I ran my hands through his hair which was, while not as long as Dimitri's used to be, longer than what most old people would call normal for a boy. His bangs were cut diagonally to cover his left eye half the time. The 'emo' style, I recalled. I smiled at him. "You're not crazy buddy. I'm really here."

He shook his head. "No, no, no! You're dead! You've been dead for almost ten years! We saw he bullet go through your head! You have to be dead! You wouldn't have gone if you weren't!" He pulled away from me.

"Niki, what's all that screaming about?" I heard a voice call from the general direction of the kitchen about five seconds before the man walked into the room. I recognized him instantly. His hair was a little longer but all in all, he was the same Adrian Ivashkov I've known and loved. He saw Niki standing angry and confused. He looked over. There was a flash of recognition and surprise in his eyes before there was a 'mask' on his face covering his emotions. "Well Rose. What are you doing here? Are you even real or have I finally lost my mind?"

"I assure you Adrian, I'm real."

"Then where have you been for the last nine years?"

"Around," was my vague answer.

One of Adrian's eyes twitched. "Niki, go to your room."

Nikoli looked at him like he was crazy. "But I wanna stay with Mommy."

"Now Nikoli. I have to talk to your mother for a few moments. I'll come get you when I'm done." He got a tense nod from the teenager. Niki walked up the stairs, stomping the whole way. "Now, where have you been again?"

"As I said, around. I've been practically everywhere Adrian."

"You haven't been here." I felt guilty at the statement. Of course, I covered it up with anger and tried to push some of the guilt off on him.

"Excuse me for being upset after I had just lost a child!"

"You selfish bitch! I lost him too! Did you see me going and faking my death and leaving the other three? Do you realize how much you traumatized them? They still have nightmares about it! And it's almost been ten years! Leksi blamed herself for five years before we could get it through her skull that it wasn't! I think she still does somewhat! Don't try and tell me that you were justified in doing that!" He was out of breath. Guilt slashed through me so much more than earlier.

"You don't know what it's like!" I tried. At this point my attempts were pathetic. Adrian was right. I was a selfish bitch.

"Don't know what it's like? He was my son too! I don't care if it's not genetically! He was my son! I was devastated when we lost him! I didn't shun the others, didn't run off! If anything they kept me grounded!"

"Adrian? Are you okay?" I heard a small feminine voice coming from the stairs and light footsteps.

"I'm fine Leksi. Just go back upstairs baby." He didn't take his eyes off me. Eyeing me like I was a threat. I was offended at that.

"But you sounded upset." We turned to see a teenage girl in blue pajama pants decorated with penguins and a hoodie walk down the stairs. Her dark hair was halfway down her back and her feet, like Nikoli's only had socks on them. Did they have issues with shoes?

"Leksi, please go back upstairs. I'll be right there." He seemed to be trying to hide me from her. But it was too late.

Chocolate brown eyes made their way to me. They widened and I swear I saw panic. She dropped down on the stairs and pulled her knees to her chest. She started hyperventilating. She was having a panic attack. Adrian ran over to her and started patting her pants like he was looking for something. "Shit! It's not in here. Zak! Where's Leksi's inhaler?"

"Marcus had it! But he went with his mom and dad to pick up Lillya!" Adrian picked my baby girl up and started walking toward the door.

"Fuck! I'm running her to the hospital! I'll be back in a little while!" He ran outside and I heard the car start. What the hell just happened?

Marcus POV

Zak wouldn't let me go find Leksi after she ran out. He told me to later her cool off for a little bit. Half an hour later and I was being forced into a car by my mother to go pick up my sister from the airport. I still couldn't believe Aleksi said there was no such thing as love. That was a lie right there. I knew for a fact that she loved her brothers and Adrian. And Adrian loved her back as did I and her brothers.

I rested my head against the glass of the window. They would be back with Lillya any minute now. I had opted to stay in the car. The airport was boring and I wasn't in the mood to stand around in a crowd waiting. I sighed. I'd so much rather be at the house talking to Leksi. I wondered what she was doing right now. Oh well. Best to not dwell on it.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by an eleven year old girl pushing me into the door. Something jabbed me in the leg. I pulled it out of my pocket and examined what it was. It was Leksi's inhaler. I hoped she wouldn't need it. We weren't that far from the house, but if she needed it, she was screwed.

Zak POV

I ran down the stairs as fast as my legs could carry me. Why was Adrian taking Leksi to the hospital? What happened down there? Did she have another panic attack? Why? As soon as my feet hit the stairs and turned toward the living room, I had my answer. There was a woman with long dark brown almost black hair. She was tan and all and all looked a lot like an older Aleksi. It couldn't be. Mom was dead. Was this one of the ghosts Niki was always talking about? Could I finally see them? Was my mind supplying what I most desparately wanted? I feared that I was forgetting her. That her face would be lost to me for forever. I smiled. If this was in my imagination, I might as well have a little fun right?

"Hi Mommy." She turned around seeming surprised. My smile was still on my face. She smiled back at me.

"Hey Zaki. Why don't you come over here and let me hug you?" I frowned and shook my head. If I tried to touch her she would disappear. I couldn't let her disappear. I wasn't ready for my illusion to be shattered. She got up and came over to me. "Why not?"

"You'll disappear." She shook her head.

"No I won't." and then she pulled me into her arms. I was confused. She wasn't disappearing. It was official. I'd gone insane. I knew it was happening. I just didn't know when. Traitor tears made their way onto her shirt. I hadn't really cried in a while. So why was I crying now? Maybe it was that I've finally gone insane. Maybe it was because what looked like Mom was holding me again. I had been missing her hugs. I hugged her back. I couldn't help it.

"Mommy, I missed you." I mumbled into her shoulder.

"I know baby. I know." She rubbed my back as sobs started to escape my mouth.

"Why did you do it? Why did you leave us?"

"I wanted to make it fair for you all. I couldn't look you guys without seeing your brother. It wasn't fair to you. So I left."

"Why didn't you just leave? Why did you have to die?"

"So that you didn't think I had abandoned you. But I'm back now. And I'm never leaving you guys ever again."

"But you're already gone. There is no coming back." This was a figment of my imagination. I kept reminding myself. Don't get attached.

"No Zak. I'm back for you. All of you. I'm not dead baby. I'm really here." I looked up surprised. There were still tears in my eyes but I managed to not let them fall.

"No you're not. You're a figment of my imagination. You're not real." She looked somewhat hurt.

"I am real Zak. How can I prove it to you?"

"I don't know."

"Close your eyes." I did as told. "Now count to five and when you get to five open them again." One…Two…Three…Four…Five… I opened my eyes and she was gone. I knew she wasn't real. Something grabbed me from behind. I struggled. "I told you I was real." She released me and I spun around. Yep she was still there. "Mommy?" She nodded. I lunged at her and clung as I cried. I wanted to hit her a few times but I resisted. Finally I get my mommy back.

Is it a bad thing when your own fanfiction makes you cry? Well I was rereading it and it did. :,( But anyway. So Rose is finally back and there's all of the peoples' reactions well the kids' and Adrian's anyway. And plus this chapters longer!111 Yay! :) Happy Reading! REVIEW! ^^