A.N: Longest chapter ever! YEAH! Also probably the saddest chapter yet TTwTT. I'm pretty sure there is only going ot be two more chapters before this is finished, I feel so sad...I'll just make sure I stall and make chapters long^.^ Yeah, thats a good idea.

Once again, you thank Jacey for this. Here ya go, Gerenal of War, my order is completed. (Everyone else, don't ask, we were just being spazzes-.-"

The next morning I realized three things.

One: Our house was a freaking mess. We would seriously have to clean soon, if we were going to get anything done.

Two: The couch is not a suitable place to sleep, my back fucking hurts.

Three: Matty and I were going to have to die to bring Kira down.

Don't ask me how I came to that conclusion, that doesn't matter. What matters now is how we get this to work. And I had it all planned out. We kidnap Takada.

I would be on my bike, I'd get her and take her to the old abandoned church, and get her to write my name in the book. That would result in the first Kira and the new Kira to kill her, framing both of them.

But she had body guards.

And that's where Matt came in.

Oh god I can't ask him to do it for me. I'm not scared that he'd back down, force me to change my mind and find a different solution, even though I know there isn't one.

No. That's not what scares me.

it's the fact that I know he'd do it without a second thought. He'd throw away his life for me if I asked him to.

And that's exactly what I'm going to have to do if I beat Near.

No, no, no, no, NO! There's got to be another way! Get him to escape, find a way to get him out of there…..Let me die alone….

Oh hell, who am I kidding. If I die, I know he will too. That's just the way he works. That's just the way he is.

That's just how much he loves me…

I wish he didn't love me. It would literately save his life. What a selfish person I am, huh. To practically send my one and only love in the entire world to his death just so I can catch some killer.

Just so that for maybe ten seconds I can finally be number one. I can finally succeed L.

Is it worth it? Is it really worth it?

No….

And yes…

It's the only way….. only I can do it…..only we can do it.

My thought process freezes the instant I feel Matt move slightly against me, and I know he's starting to wake up. I instantly tighten my arms around him, wishing that if I hold him long enough close to me then he won't ever have to leave, we won't ever have to get up….

He won't ever have to die, at least not now.

It makes me sad to think that one day when the world looses the perfect and beautiful being known as Matt, no one will mourn him. No one will even care. Not even me.

Why?

Cause I'll be gone too, and no one will even notice.

Because we technically don't exist.

Our fingerprints were burned away, our names destroyed, our faces forgotten, our families nothing but a scattered lot of nightmares and graves.

How could no one even care?! How dare the-

"Mello….?" I heard him whisper and instantly everything melted away, and it was just me and him, lying here once again, and I momentarily shoved all memories and plots to the back of my mind, putting on as big of a smile as I could for his last few days before rolling over.

"Morning." I tried to sound happy, or at least snarky, which is usually the most I could manage, but now it was just a meek, fake little amount of optimism that I'm sure he would be able to see straight through.

He could always see right through me. After all, he's the only one that really knows me.

I instantly noticed the slight flash of concern flood through his pretty green eyes that I wanted to just melt in to, and I felt guilt instantly. I knew I had to tell him, had to get him ready, brief him so that he knew just how he was going to die.

I silently prayed that right now would be the moment Kira would write my name down so I wouldn't have to do this and so he would have a chance of living to be old, hopefully finding someone else to love him, someone who wouldn't be a monster like me.

"Are you okay?"

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one…. Nope, I'm still alive.

Way to pull though for me, Kira, you really did a great job.

Damn.

"Yeah….I'm fine. I've just been thinking." His eyebrows rose slightly in surprise. Or at least I thought it was surprise. I smiled more, noticing how cute he looked like that. He noticed, and I saw him relax. he thought I was fine just by my smile. Great. What a relief.

"Okay. Well then I think I'm going to go back to sleep, I'm still kinda tired. You should do the same."

And in a flash he was out again, sleeping soundly against my chest, looking as adorable and innocent as ever, which was as far from the truth as could be, seeing as none of us could ever be considered innocent ever again.

Either way I could always just tell him later, when he woke up.

When this huge sense of guilt and dread wasn't filling up my mind.

When I could tell him just how much he means to me, and beg him not to do it, and try to get him to hate me even though I know that will never happen, so instead I just close my eyes and sink back in to sleep like he said I should, hoping to stall his death for as long as I could.

Trying to evade the inevitable.

The next time I wake up, it's not because of my mental clock that works twenty-four seven to keep me working against Near, it's him, waking up, and yawning, before sighing and instantly I know he's figured it out.

I should have known. He is a genius after all, he'd probably even smarter than Near and I combined in many ways, but I know he would never show it.

Because he loves me too much to do it.

But that doesn't deny the fact that he knows, and from as much as I can tell right now, he's not running away, yelling at me for trying to kill him, begging me not to go, trying to get away, screaming that he hates me.

No. That would be too much to ask.

Instead he's breathing calmly, and I can tell he has his mind set, and nothing that I can say can get him to change his mind.

"Mells….?"

Oh shit, he knows I'm awake.

"…yeah?" I ask quietly, hoping he doesn't hear.

"I'll do it."

I swear to god my heart died with those three words.

I swear that the sun stopped shining, the birds stopped singing, the sky came crashing down, my breathing stopped, and everything froze in to silence.

Half of me was happy, to hear those wo5rdds, to think that I wouldn't die alone and that I would finally bring Kira down and crush Near once and for all, that in my death along with his sacrifice that I would be the victor and finally I would be happy.

I wanted to shove that half of me in to a hole or kick it off a ledge.

"….Are you su-"

"Of course I'm sure."

More of me died. My blood turned to ice, my eyes lost their light, my soul shattered in to a million pieces to know I had just condemned my Matty, my Mail to his very death.

And he was perfectly fucking fine with it.

he agreed without me even asking, he agreed to throw his future, his life, his happiness away for me, without even me asking, and I swear in that moment I wanted to die, I wanted the world to end right then and there. But of course that god awful half of me just had to reawaken, and kick in to action.

"Let's do this."

Four days later

Tonight was our second to last night alive. Second to my last night with him on this earth, my last night to prove I do love him, prove I'm sorry, prove that this is worth it.

But there is just two problems with that.

One: I'm not sorry.

Two: It's not worth it. It never will be.

But I can promise you this: I'll be by his side.

Until the end.

Fur Immer Jetz.

For ever now.