Note: This chapter, unlike the main chapters, is called a filler chapter. There will be more of these. They will not be a chapter in which McGee dies. They will explain some things about McGee's lengthy past, or just make the story less.. insane. Maybe more, who knows.

"McGee, are you ready for tonight?" Tony hands McGee a paper. On it is written: #2, Drinking Drano. He didn't really think Drano was that bad, but..

"Sure. I wanted to mention something else to you first, about my.. talent." He looks around, making sure nobody else is listening. Gibbs is, of course; and Ziva doesn't look like she is, but she's always clued in.

"Yeah? Shoot."

"Sometimes, my suicides aren't successful. They fuck me up, and since I didn't die, I don't heal."

Gibbs looks up in surprise at this news. Ziva just keeps her eyes on her computer screen, but she's focusing more on the conversation.

"You.. then, what? Do you have anything the matter with you now?"

"No, no. See, once I die after that, everything fixes itself."

"So.." Tony frowns. "You try to kill yourself and you screw up.. what did you do?" Tony asks, grinning. He might hear about the past.

McGee frowns and leans back in his seat. "I.. don't want to talk about it."

"What? Come on, you can share anything with us. Right Boss?" Tony looks up, having felt Gibbs' gaze.

"Yeah. I'd like to hear this too, McGee."

McGee looks at Gibbs, frowning. "All right." He remembers the accident very well. "It was a long time ago. Back in the 1800s. I was walking in the road, and this horse and wagon came flying out of-"

"Horse and wagon?" Tony looks like he's obviously trying to hold in laughing. "Where-where uh, were ya?"

McGee sighs. "Colorado."

"You.. were in the old west? McCowboy? You?" Tony starts laughing, still trying to hold it in.

"Yes. I still have the clothing, too," McGee says. "Because I know you're going to ask."

"Can-can you uh, r-r-" Tony takes a deep breath, managing to finish, bursting into laughter right afterward. "Rope and ride?"

McGee groans and puts a hand to his face, missing the smiles on Gibbs' and Ziva's faces. "Yes, Tony. I could. I did that and more. I was the town blacksmith, I-"

"No way! Like Doc Brown in Back to the Future? Did you make a machine with-" He shuts up as Gibbs head-slaps him.

McGee grins. "No, Tony. I was a teacher though, too. I taught reading, writing, languages."

"You know other languages?"

"Tony.. I'm over 800 years old. I've been traveling the world looking for an answer to immortality. Yes, I know many languages."

"You.. never hinted at it to us," Tony replies, looking a little hurt.

"How many languages do you know, McGee?" Ziva asks, looking rather interested.

"I've lost count. Can we save this for-"

"Yeah, continue your old western for us, McEastwood."

McGee shoots Tony a glare before continuing. "Like I said. I was in the road when a horse and wagon came barreling down the road toward me. The horse was spooked by a snake, I s'pose," he explains, his mindset-and so, his speech-returning to the west. "It didn't kill me, but I sure wasn't me. Caused brain damage." He pauses, noting the funny looks on his friends' faces. "What?"

"You.. have an accent," Ziva says. "Not heavy, but.. you have an accent."

Gibbs has a big grin himself, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed. "Yeah, McGee. Just how long were ya in the west?"

"Well.. since European colonists settled there. I traveled by boat from England to America.. the New World.. and headed out west."

"No!" Tony laughs. "You were in England? You?"

"I traveled, Tony," McGee says annoyedly. "As I was saying. The accident caused brain damage; I was basically a crippled little kid mentally for a few years. Until I fell into the creek and drowned. When I came back, I was healed again; I returned to the town and everyone.. well, they attributed it to an act of God. The Lord has healed him!" McGee mimics, raising his hands in a mock praise-the-lord motion. "Lord my ass," McGee snorts.

"You do not believe in God, McGee?" Ziva asks.

"Oh, I believe in more than one. There are many. My mistake was invoking every single one of them for immortality and not specific ones. Some of the more.. malevolent ones are holding me to that wish. That's why I can't die.. they get kicks out of my suffering."

"Well, they.. have to let you go one day, right?"

McGee looks up at Tony's face; hopeful, naive in these matters. For him, he smiles. "Yeah. One day."