Somehow, they'd acquired a M-44 Hammerhead seemingly overnight. If the hovertank was anything like the mako was, he was sure it would need lots of repair. They just don't make vehicles that can handle Shepard's brilliant, but crazy, maneuvering. Garrus wondered if he could get some techs together to design something specifically for her. He scratched that idea, he wasn't sure if science was advanced enough to build a tank that moved in more than 4 dimensions. Would make a nice birthday gift, though.

He stood with Shepard in the lift, musing quietly to himself about it. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, noting that the scars were healing, it was almost a shame. He'd never say it to her, but he thought they looked like constellations, mapping some unknown part of the universe. "So, why now?"

"Because I'm curious." She looked at him, tilting her head up to meet his gaze. "And because we might need him."

"You've left him in the hold this long. Your team's strong, Shepard. Another variable can't matter all that much." He referred to their tank krogan, who also happened to be shaped like a tank. A tank in a tank, he mused again.

"Garrus...doesn't he deserve to see what it's like out here?"

"I've seen what it's like out here. It's not that great. Plus, it doesn't really seem fair to wake him up just to send him on a suicide mission." He didn't want to sound bitter, but the way she was looking at him, she knew exactly what he was thinking. She knew that even now, there were times when he envied the dead.

"Not that great, huh?" She quirked her brow at him. He bumped her hip with his hip, smiling wryly.

"Okay, it's greeeaaat." He suddenly found himself eye to eye with Shepard. She'd grabbed the front of his cowl and yanked him down, he made a surprised little 'oof'. Fear blossomed in his guts as he looked into her suddenly furious eyes.

"People are not variables." Her voice was low and menacing, almost a whisper. "My people are not numbers, or pawns or any of the other convenient little phrases that turn people into things."

She let go of him abruptly, turning her burning gaze forward again. Garrus straightened up slowly, his armor creaking. In the wake of the fear, he was surprised to feel a burdgeoning anger, he spoke to the air in front of him, "Your people, huh? For not being possessions, you sure guard us jealously. Are you saying you aren't prepared to lose people, to use them to stop the Collectors?"

He could feel the heat of her rage rolling off her armor, making the elevator seem like the inside of a volcano, she clenched her jaw as she rasped, "Shut. It."

"No, I need to know if you can make the call. It's fine playing like we're all one big happy family in here, but outside this ship there's a very real threat." Garrus knew he was walking the knife's edge, courting disaster. I have a point, spirits damn it. I won't be shut down like some flunky. Heel, boy! "You may lose one of us or all of us on this little joy ride. What are you going to do when that happens? What if it's Miranda or Kasumi or me-"

The elevator doors opened then. They stood in there for a time, Garrus started counting the seconds under his breath. Shepard seemed to shake herself, awareness settling back over her. She strode out in silence. Garrus followed her to the door of the port cargo hold, barely checking himself from snapping off a salute as she opened the door. He didn't have the heart in him to be cruel. Not to her. Not more than he'd been already. Garrus watched her take a deep breath before entering, the furious glitter still in her eye.

At the twenty minute mark, he was starting to worry. But he didn't hear anything breaking in there so surely everything was fine. Damn I wish I brought my gun, the thought trickled through his brain as he rubbed his neck apprehensively. It wasn't inconceivable that the krogan could kill Shepard. Just as he was seriously considering going in ready for violence, the door opened and the air was filled with raucous laughter. Shepard and the krogan sauntered out together, arms over each other's shoulders, well as far as Shepard could reach around that enormous hump. Stunned, Garrus watched them walk to the lift, following in their wake. The pair turned to face him. Shepard eyed him, her face blank, "Shuttle in five, Vakarian."

The doors closed in his stunned face and the elevator made the gentle rumbling noise it did when it was ascending. He stood there staring numbly at the closed door, wondering why he'd provoked her like that. Well, he knew why, but despite the very valid reasons he might have, there was no reason other than spite to harangue her like that. She was the best commanding officer he'd ever had, that he'd ever heard of, her success rate was higher than any of her contemporaries. She must be doing something right. Who was he to question her? Just a foolish, foolish broken turian.

And now, he was 'Vakarian' to her.

He didn't think he could stand it if she starting calling him 'Officer Vakarian' again, regressing their relationship all the way back to the beginning. He took in a deep shuddering breath. Why was he so bad at this? He thought he knew her, but now it seemed there were still some mysteries there to dance around. Garrus pressed the button to summon the lift again.

He didn't think he was out of line. Surely every soldier knew the price of war, had to watch their friends fall in the line of duty. It was a given that no war was won without casualties. That's what soldiers were for. Shepard didn't act like that, he realized, it's like she just rejected it as not part of her reality. He wished that were true, he really did. But he, more than anyone, well except maybe her, knew that it wasn't, had been taught that at bitter cost.

A thought rose up out of the darkest part of his mind. He suspected that the reason he wanted to warn her, beg her to realize that they might all die tomorrow was so that if it ever came to be, that he...couldn't be there for her any more, she wouldn't suffer like he had. Wouldn't be so terribly bereft like he had been when she had died. That made his heart ache in a way that almost made his whole body hurt.

He made his way down to the shuttle bay, still trying to come up with a solution.

It was kind of an unspoken rule that when you joined Shepard's crew, you went on the next mission with her. The krogan, Grunt as he was now called, was just now looking through the weapon racks trying to find a suitable set of weaponry. Shepard was there next to him, offering her opinion on various rifles, shotguns and things. Garrus was interested to find out how this tankbred, tank educated krogan measured up to the battle monster that was Urdnot Wrex. Looking on their little exchange, the turian smiled. Shepard was acting so...maternal towards Grunt.

She still wasn't speaking to him, not that he'd know what to say to her if she did. It felt like things were slipping away from him. Garrus wanted so much, but knew he deserved so little. For what he'd done and thought and felt, every sorrow he'd laid into her soul, he hoped the spirits would grant him a year to make it up to her, somehow. He had no right to ask anything of her, but a message he received not a moment ago was burning away at the insides of his head. How to ask her to help him with this last vestige of his ignoble past. If he waited for an opportune moment, he could lose the chance. The chance to finally lay to rest ten people, people he couldn't just abandon to time. Waiting never seemed so difficult. Maybe he'd be able to talk to her about it after this mission...or the next.

In the shuttle, Shepard talked with Grunt about his tank memories. She seemed excited to see them in action. If he was to judge from the slight smile and the crinkle around her eyes anyway. Garrus pretended to take a nap, stretching his long legs out and crossing his arms before letting his head droop to the side and rest on his armor's cowl. Their voices were soothing, he listened intently as they expounded on different battlefield strategies. Grunt's were all krogan, and thus were a slightly different take on the deployment of troop strength and ordinance. They seemed to like it when things went boom. And getting up close and personal. Garrus could hear Shepard chipping away at this preconception, laying out what could be done with a mixed group, little bit of everything and how it could be greater than the sum of its parts. Awe filled the krogan's voice at this realization as their discussion covered not just small insertion teams like theirs, but whole batallions.

This krogan is intelligent, thought Garrus, surprised almost to the point of amazement, then he felt chagrin at the racist thought. What Grunt couldn't do once he got a few centuries of live action combat training under his belt, once he learned cunning to go along with his intelligence. And he couldn't have hoped for a better mentor than Shepard. Watch out galaxy, he thought with a grin.

This mission was fairly standard. Long range scanners had picked up an anomaly and they were investigating it. Helyme was pretty enough to look at as planets go, lots of mountains and vegetation. They landed outside of what was obviously some kind of mining plant, the grind of machinery was audible as they exited the vehicle. Shepard pulled out her assault rifle, a change from her usually favored shotgun. Garrus raised a brow ridge at her.

"Grunt, take point. Expect...mercs, more than likely." She smiled into Garrus' face, all innocence. Grunt threw his fist in the air with a bark of laughter and drew his shotgun. Garrus was at a loss, it didn't seem wise to him to let an untried untested krogan be first to make contact with their enemy. This was wildly counter to what he knew of Shepard's strategies, she was usually so controlled and controlling.

With a charge the krogan burst into the building, with Shepard and Garrus in his wake. Garrus scanned the room for a place to roost, so he could pick them off with his sniper rifle. Ah, perfect, the thought accompanied action as he climbed a ladder up to a surveying platform. From here he could see almost every room and over the top of most of the cover. He went to work, picking off Eclipse mercs left and right, keeping an eye on Shepard and the whelp. He was impressed, the krogan was holding his own remarkably well. Charging into an enemy, following up with the shotgun. It lacked the elegance that was a joy to witness when Shepard did it but it was effective, nonetheless. Shepard, in the meantime, seemed content to line up shots with her assault rifle, switching out the ammo as the circumstances demanded.

Garrus could see that he was wrong, Grunt would be a valuable asset in their fight with the Collectors. Just another thing to add to the list of things he was wrong about. More proof that he should just trust Shepard's judgement. Then he shivered, she was surrounding herself with people she would hurt to lose. His initial assessment had been right, in a way, to leave the krogan in the tank so he couldn't be bound up in Shepard, wouldn't become part of Shepard. And how many pieces of her could she lose before there was nothing left?