The atmosphere in the aircar was suffocatingly tense. Garrus waited, knowing a confrontation was inevitable. She'd been silent this whole time, and Garrus knew that that was going to change, whether he was ready or not. Thane seemed to have withdrawn from them completely from where he was at in the back, or he was intent on his own problems. Either way, Garrus was grateful for his non interference.

He parked the aircar and finally decided that if she wasn't going to start it, then he was, "Harkin's a bloody menace. We shouldn't have just let him go. He deserved to be punished."

She pursed her lips, still looking out the windshield as she replied, "I'm getting a little worried about you, Garrus. You were pretty hard on Harkin back there."

What could he tell her? Try to explain the black rage he felt as he looked at the man? How part of him gleefully wanted to make the human suffer? There weren't words to describe his contempt for Harkin. "You don't think he deserved it?"

And more, his voice implied with a harsh edge. She steadfastly refused to look at him, "It's just not like you."

Garrus wished she would just look at him, so he could see what she was thinking, but that implacable mask was in place and it hurt him to see it. She had to know he needed this...closure, finally put his dead team to rest, finally put his demons to rest. He felt she expected something from him right now. He was going to fail her yet again. He rasped out, "What do you want from me, Jane?"

The use of her given name finally made her look around to him and the pain in them made him break his gaze off. He turned his head to look out the window, saying, "What would you do if someone betrayed you?"

Her voice was soft as it floated to him, "I'm not sure. But I wouldn't let it change me."

"I would have said the same thing before it happened to me."

"It's not too late. You don't have to go through with this."

"Who's going to bring Sidonis to justice if I don't. Nobody else knows what he's done." Ten dead men and women. Ten good people, left to rot in an apartment on Omega. No families to mourn them, this was all he could do. "No one else cares. I don't see any other option."

He shook his head free from his sudden doubts, "I need to set up."

Garrus peered at the catwalks and corridors that made up this part of the Citadel, he pointed, "I can get a clear shot from over there."

She ducked her head to see the spot he indicated. "You just want me to get him in position?"

Her sudden acquiescence worried him a bit, "Basically. Keep him talking for a minute. When I've got him in my sights, I'll let you know. Give me a signal so I know you're ready, and I'll take the shot. You better go. He'll be here soon."

He got out of the aircar and turned back to her, ruthlessly pushing down the doubt he felt as he looked into her face. That face that had gotten him through so many dark nights, and whose absence had brought him so much misery. Things were coming to a head between them, events pushing them onto colliding trajectories and he wasn't sure what it would bring. But he couldn't let this thing go, just couldn't. His team didn't deserve this final betrayal. He couldn't conscience being the one to do that.

He didn't realize until he'd gotten halfway to his chosen post that he'd acquired a shadow. Thane walked behind him, silently but still seemingly casually. Garrus shot the man a questioning look, "Krios."

The smaller man quickened his stride to come even with him, "I...felt that I should offer my assistance."

"You're not the only one who's ever assassinated anyone. Did you think I wouldn't have the ability to see this through?" Garrus felt a wave of anger at the drell.

"Not at all. I merely wanted to observe and perhaps help as a spotter." He followed Garrus up the ladder to the catwalks overseeing the area where Shepard was expected to meet with a certain turian traitor. "You are quite the sniper and I wished to pick up some...pointers."

Rage acquiesed, Garrus looked curiously at the man. It would help to have a second pair of eyes up there, so he could minimize any chance of collateral damage. He nodded, striding quickly to the point he'd picked out. For this, he pulled out his tripod and lay prone, waiting for Shepard to show. Thane had his scope in his hands, scanning the crowds below them. They still had some time, so Garrus looked over at the assassin, "So...apples."

The drell laughed dryly, "Indeed. I'll have to change my loadout to include them as an off hand."

Garrus chuckled, "Shepard's full of surprises. I think my jaw hit the floor when she pulled out that Viper."

"I think she was just glad to have hit her marks. I've never seen someone who is as, let's say...well-rounded, in the arena of war as abysmal with a sniper rifle as she was when I first started teaching her." Thane shook his head, making a disapproving sound in his throat.

Garrus froze, "You've been teaching her how to shoot?"

"Yes, she fairly demanded it of me, you know how...compelling she can be." Garrus eyed the smaller man, feeling jealousy and envy at the same time. Shepard went to the drell instead of him to learn a skill the turian was a consummate expert in. They must be closer than he thought. He felt a touch of blinding anguish then, Guess I never had a shot. He blinked his stinging eyes clear and took a deep breath.

"Why didn't she come to me? I could have shown her a thing or two." The words came out a little harsher than he wanted and Thane looked over at him sharply.

"Why not, indeed? Shepard's motives are a mystery even to me. But if I were to guess, I'd say it was precisely for the look on your face back there." Thane laughed again, and Garrus joined, albeit a little strained. "She is a tactician to the core. It wouldn't surprise me to know that she set all of this up to the last detail."

No, that couldn't be right. This was his fight, his redemption. She wouldn't manipulate him like that, would she? Garrus thought hard about it, knowing in his heart that she was more than capable. She promised to help him, the ghosts of his past demanded it to be...settled. His thoughts were spiraling, he could almost hate her if it was true. Thane's voice dragged him back to the present, "In truth, I am...dreading the next leg of our journey here."

Garrus cleared his throat, eyes back on the crowd below, watching for that telltale flash of red hair, "What is it? The thing you asked Shepard to do."

Thane looked at him over his shoulder, "I received some information about...my son."

"Didn't know you had a kid, Thane." It felt appropriate to use the man's first name now, since he was in the mood to impart personal information. It was strange to know that this deadly little man had a family out there. Made him more...approachable, somehow. Not just a killing machine.

"He's become...disconnected. He found out what I'd been doing...for work and has decided to take a contract. Someone here has hired him as a hitman." There was pain in the man's voice, and Garrus couldn't help but feel for him.

"What do you mean, disconnected?"

"He does as his body wills. The body is not our true selves, the soul is. Body and soul work as one in a whole person. When the soul is weakened by despair or fear, or when the body is ill or injured, the individual is disconnected, no longer whole." Garrus had a memory flash him back to a rainy graveyard hillside and Anderson's voice telling him that Shepard was almost a whole person at the end, so he knew what Thane meant, knew it in his heart. He nodded for Thane to continue, "Kolyat, my son, he may be trying to find...connection with me by taking this darker path. That thought haunts me more than any other."

As Garrus watched the pain in the drell's every movement, in his voice, in his posture, he was struck by how strangely similar all their lives were. The circumstances were slightly different, but they'd all shared this despair, the feeling of helplessness against the forces of fate brought to bear on them. He knew what Kolyat felt because of his own experiences dealing with a father who only meant the best for him, but only brought bitterness with his interference. Seeing Thane now shed a whole different light on how his own father must have felt when instead of following the straight and narrow, duty above all else, Garrus had decided to take the harder route, the more pain filled route.

With a surge of guilt, he realized he hadn't spoken to his family since before Shepard died. And even then it had been a heated argument about his decision to follow a human Spectre into a life of piracy and tyranny. He resolved to correct his lapse as soon as he could. Before their fateful voyage beyond the Omega-4 relay, it might be the only chance. He offered poor comfort, dropping his hand onto Thane's shoulder, hoping his sincere tone would be more consoling than the actual words, "That's...rough, buddy. If anyone can sort it out, Shepard can and I'll do my best to help as well."

Thane nodded in thanks, taking the words the way Garrus meant them, "You place an extraordinary amount of faith in Shepard, Garrus. You have been through a lot together, yes?"

"Hell and back. She's making a habit of it though." said Garrus with a wry twist of a grin. "So, welcome aboard the crazy train."

"I think Shepard is far from insane. I think she's saner than anyone I've ever met." That's because he hasn't known her long, wasn't there at the very beginning when Shepard had been far from sane. Wasn't there to see all of hell's demons dance in her eyes. Garrus shuddered at the memory and Thane watched him closely, eyes half lidded.

"Here comes Shepard." Garrus set up his shot, tracking her carefree amble through the crowded corridors. Even though she was fully armed and armored, everything about her attitude said harmless, unimportant. She glided beneath notice like a phantom, the crowd parted in ignorance and soon forgot her very existence. Thane made a low whistle as he watched her. This wasn't stealth, exactly. She just melded with the masses, became part of the machine.

"Fascinating." The word was overlaid with tones of awe and a little too much interest, if Garrus was any judge. He couldn't begrudge the man though. She was a chameleon, adapting to every situation with aplomb. It was one of her most endearing traits, one of the things he l-...admired about her.

Garrus opened a comm channel to Shepard, "Shepard, can you hear me?"

Watched her in his scope as she tilted her head, responding, "Loud and clear."

His blood ran cold as he spotted a familiar and hated figure, "There he is...wave him over and keep him talking."

Watched those graceful fingers come up and beckon Sidonis to her. His mouth went dry, it was the moment of truth. Do or die, and other such cliches. His gut clenched, roiling in doubt, but he swallowed that down. Just him in my scope, just this. His mandibles were fluttering, the only outward sign of his inner turmoil. In the midst of his tunnel vision, he heard Sidonis, Shepard must have left her comm channel open, "Let's get this over with."

If his blood ran cold before, now it was on fire. That voice brought to mind all the misery he'd been suffering for two years, he rasped hoarsely, "You're in my shot. Move to the side."

Listened unbelieving as Shepard said, "Listen, Sidonis. I'm here to help you."

No, nonono, this is-she can't, in his sudden blinding rage, he focused on the back of her head, listened through deep shuddering breaths as Sidonis said, "Don't ever say that name aloud."

"I'm a friend of Garrus'." Garrus growled low in his chest, willing his fingers away from the trigger so he wouldn't try to silence the lie. It must be a lie, a friend wouldn't do this to him. She continued, "He wants you dead. I'm...hoping that won't be necessary."

He took a deep breath to steady his aim and started looking for openings around her, try to take the traitor down, no more discussion. But she knew, she knew him so very well, so she stayed planted in his shot and he was helpless, unless he wanted to shoot through her. Sidonis' voice droned at him, "Garrus? Is this some kind of joke...?"

"Damn you, Shepard. If he moves, I'm taking the shot." His voice was almost unrecognizable to him now, low and deadly and so very horribly flat. The demons in his head laughed at him, at how ineffectual he was.

"You're not kidding, are you?" Almost shouted in triumph when the hated man tried to bolt, was almost in his scope at last. "Screw this. I'm not sticking around to find out. Tell Garrus I had my own problems..."

Then Shepard was in his scope again, he made a little keen of frustration. All his training, all his patience was out the window. Blue flames on the edge of his vision as he stared at the back of Shepard's head. Her voice in his head, "Don't move. I'm the only thing standing between you and a hole in the head."

Garrus felt Thane shift next to him slightly. But he was lost in the world of the scope, just him and Sidonis and Shepard between them. He could feel his control slipping, it always had in regards to her. How easy it would be to drop her and Sidonis at the same time, his rifle had the power to push a bullet through two bodies effortlessly. He fingered the trigger absently, listening now, to the dark voices in his head, and to the damned man standing down there, Sidonis saying, "Fuck. Look...I didn't want to do it. I didn't have a choice."

LIAR! Garrus screamed in his head, but ground out from between clenched teeth, "Everyone has a choice."

Sidonis' voice buzzed in his ear and he couldn't help but to listen, "They got to me. Said they'd kill me if I didn't help them. What was I supposed to do?"

Die! You were supposed to die! Again, he swallowed the words, pleading instead softly into Shepard's ear, his voice almost keening, "Let me take the shot, Jane. He's a damn coward."

"So you were just trying to save yourself." A warning of violence in her tone as she addressed that turian down there. He imagined her eyes blazing and it sent a cold shudder through him. He was awash with sudden clarity. This was Shepard down there, his hand jerked away from the trigger. He had been contemplating shooting Shepard. His mind reeled from the shock as he listened to Sidonis' agonized voice, "I know what I did. I know they died because of me. I have to live with that."

And Garrus listened, really listened to the despair in that voice, "I wake up every night...sick...and sweating. Each of their faces staring at me...accusing me."

Up in his nest, Garrus spun headlong into a memory of holding a dying Shepard in that horrible apartment where a rocket had taken off a bit of his face. Just a nightmare, one of so many, all bound up in his guilt and self loathing. Suddenly, he drew many parallels between Sidonis and himself, a likeness that shook him to the core.

Garrus closed his eyes, hearing that broken man echoing his thoughts, "I'm already a dead man. I don't sleep. Food has no taste. Some days I just want it to be over."

Shepard spoke to him softly, "You've got to let it go, Garrus. He's already paying for his crime."

"He hasn't paid enough. He still has his life." Things were getting confused, he wasn't sure who he was talking about any more. "My men...deserved better."

His men deserved better. They'd deserved better than him, too. Ten men dead, either by Sidonis' hand directly or Garrus' hand indirectly, the blame lay with both of them. If he shot this man, he'd have to shoot himself. He couldn't do that, couldn't do that to Shepard. She'd already lost so much, he wouldn't do it. He dully heard Sidonis through his comm, "Tell Garrus...I guess there's nothing I can say to make it right..."

Garrus croaked, feeling like curling into a little ball, "Just...go. Tell him to go."

He heard an audible sigh of relief from Thane and he looked over to see the drell slowly take his hand from his SMG. Garrus shook his head violently, in denial. But the truth was there in his head waiting for him. He'd been ready to shoot Shepard, and Thane had been there to stop him. It almost broke him all over again. He gasped in a breath hoarsely and reached out a shaky hand to squeeze Thane's shoulder, silently grateful. He'd never have forgiven himself if he'd done that. He'd have eaten a bullet right after, he knew it in his soul.

Thane was prepared to do for Shepard what Garrus should have been doing this whole time. Protect her, at any cost. Thane was a good man and worthy. If Shepard...wanted Thane, he would be glad for her, for them. He took a trembling breath, barely hearing Sidonis promise to make it up to him somehow.

How would he face her now? How many times had he asked himself that? He'd lost count. But he was no coward. Silently the two men packed up and went to meet Shepard at the aircar. Shepard's eyes were riveted to him as he slowly walked toward her, eyes sad in her serene face. Garrus had to keep reminding himself that he didn't do it, that she was there, alive. Handling her like glass, he pulled her into an embrace, her solidness comforting, and rested his chin on the top of her head. He said, "I know you want to talk about this...But I don't. Not yet."

She nodded in understanding, clasping her hands behind Garrus' back, "It..was for the best."

"I just couldn't do it. My men deserved to be avenged..." He sighed, ruffling her hair, "I just want to know I did the right thing. It's so much easier to see the world in black and white. Grey...I don't know what to do with grey."

She pulled back from him and rested her hand over his heart, "Trust this."

"My...armor?" She laughed and her face lit up like the dawning of the sun. He felt his heart grow lighter. If such beauty could survive such adversity, then he could find redemption through another road. Maybe someday he'd even forgive himself. He hoped wherever they were, his dead comrades could forgive him. "C'mon, big guy. I'm driving."

"Spirits, Shepard, trying to kill us all? The Reapers will be disappointed." Garrus climbed into the back of the aircar, gesturing Thane to take the front seat. He needed to be alone with his thoughts. He withdrew as Thane and Shepard discussed Thane's son, Kolyat.