A/N: Ok, so I've come to an important descision about this fic. It isn't going where I wanted it to, and to me it feels fairly disjointed and poorly written. So I am going to stop writing this fic and instead concentrateon re-writing it the way it sould have been written from the start. That being said, I already have over 20 chapters done on this itteration of the story and both my Beta and myself have put alot of time and effort into this, so I will continue to post this story on a regular basis until A) I have the new one all worked out, or B) I run out of stuff to post. But none of this stuff will effect you guys for a while yet so enjoy!
It seems what's left of my human side
Is slowly changing in me - Disturbed
Robin was in a lounge chair with his elbows propped on the chairs arms, his hands clasped in front of his stomach and his right ankle was resting comfortably on his left knee. To his right was an older man in his mid to late fifties. He wore professional but stylish business attire and had his hair in a comb-over, despite having a full head of hair. To his left were the other four founding members of the Teen Titans seated in chairs similar to himself, and in front of him sat a sizeable audience and several camera men.
As part of an effort to retain the public's trust the Titan's occasionally did Q&A sessions, hosted by local celebrities. The Q&A was the brain child of some over paid PR man for the mayor; the purpose was to help the citizens feel connected to the heroes that watched their city, as well as to keep the heroes accountable. The first few sessions had been just what it was intended to be. People asked questions about everything from Super-villain encounters to gang wars and self defence advice. Not anymore, though. Currently Starfire was regaling an enthralled and slightly grossed out crowd with details of some Tamaranean festival where odd food was consumed and sacred traditions were followed. The sessions had quickly degraded into marriage proposals and requests to show up at birthday parties or beat up a bully for some kid who really needed to learn to take it like a man and dish it back. The next question rocked his mind though.
"Umm... You. There in the red Flash tee shirt. What's your question?" the host asked as he identified the next person who could go to the mike and 'Talk to the Titans!'
"My question is for Robin." Robin perked up his ears, mentally swearing that if this was another request for a commitment ceremony from some guy who 'just knew he was living a lie and should accept himself as a gay man' then Dick Grayson would be getting in contact with Red-X or the Hive kids and hire them to do horrible things to this puke. His assumptions were wrong though as the boy finished speaking.
"Why do you obsess over Slade so much more than any other villain?"
"Because he's a terrorist and a mass murderer, he's not just in it to knock off banks or because he enjoyes the theatrics." was the official answer. The crowd murmured its approval as the kid returned to his seat, seeming to regain some of his composure as the limelight was shifted to someone else.
But truthfully that was only a small part of his obsession over the criminal. Part of it was because Slade always went after him specifically, taunting and critiquing in an endless diatribe of velvety smooth words while fending off his best attacks with seemingly no effort. But the main reason was that Robin believed himself to be a pure hearted, good person, just like his parents would have wanted. While Slade was essentially the little devil on his shoulder; tempting him with knowledge and power and pushing him to push himself. And it was all he could do to stay on the 'straight and narrow', so to speak.
Raziel's eyes snapped open and he shot upright with a gasp for air, startling the two soldiers that had been sent to drag him back to his quarters to sleep off his drinking binge. His right cheek still ached from where he had been laying slumped over the formica table top.
What the hell? That memory had been so vivid that he could have sworn he had travelled back in time to re-experience it. His mind was drawn back to his musings from the other night.
"Lieutenant?"
The main reason he had hated Slade so much was because Slade basically symbolized 'evil Robin' so to speak, but Robin desperately wanted to be good, to make his parents proud. He felt that if he could conquer Slade then he could conquer his own darker tendencies and in some small way make his parents deaths mean something. So that they could look upon him from the afterlife and know that the values and lessons they had taught him as a youngster had held through to shape the man he would become. It wouldn't bring them back, but at least they wouldn't have died in vain. And with Slade's training, no one else would die through his own inability or limitations.
But since becoming Slade's apprentice, he hadn't really changed all that much. Sure he had violated the sanctity of life by killing, but he had done so sparingly and to save the lives of his own men and it had torn him to pieces which explained the epic bender he had just gone on.
"Sir?" The two soldiers were following him now, at some point during his minds wanderings his body had decided to follow suit.
"What?" he asked without bothering to stop or even turn to the two MP's.
"Nothing sir," one of them answered when they realized that Raziel was heading back to his bunk, which is pretty much where they had been told to take him. The two men left Raziel to his own musings again.
Since becoming Slade's apprentice he was still basically the same person. He still believed in helping others, he still believed in the principals that had made him a hero. Hell, Slade had even let him continue to be a hero before he had come to Mordoza. Only as Slade's apprentice he was no longer looked to as a symbol or role model. The pressure of having to be perfect all the time was gone. He was free to curse and swear, he could take out his frustrations by hospitalizing felons who had been coddled instead of punished by the so called justice system that was supposed to protect the victims not the criminals. Simply put he was free, in the basest sense of the word.
He wasn't obligated to do anything he didn't want to. And as much as he still hated to admit it, he liked being Slade's apprentice. He liked the adrenaline rush of stealing, the power of physically dominating anyone who opposed him and his master. And he liked Slade, as odd as the notion still sounded to him. Since it was no longer necessary to resort to varying forms of threats and abuse to ensure compliance, Slade had revealed himself to be a nurturing and insightful teacher, full of wisdom and experience that he wished to pass to Robin; his Apprentice.
He closed the door to the room that the army had commandeered for his use and moments later he was undressed and sliding beneath the covers of his bed. Not ten minutes later, or so it seemed, he was being abruptly woken by fierce pounding at his door, accompanied by muffled shouts.
"What?" he shouted, pulling a tee shirt over his head as he padded barefoot to the door.
"Commander wants you in for briefing in fifteen minutes sir!" Raziel had opened the door as the man was speaking and simply nodded before closing it and getting ready. He pulled a new pair of fatigue pants on and packed the necessary equipment into the pockets and compartments before pulling on his boots and buttoning a parka against the winter chill. The frayed coat wouldn't do much but it was better than nothing when temperatures dropped into negative double digits.
Twelve minutes later he was knocking on the base commanders makeshift office door, having made a stop to the comm. Room; he even had his rifle slung over his shoulder.
"Raziel good, your here. Please come in," the commander said as he happened to look up and see Raziel preparing to knock on the wall next to his opened door. "Close the door behind you."
"I have been looking over your file and it seems like you have experience in stealth, survival and infiltration," the commander began after the formalities had been exchanged and Raziel had sat in the chair next to the commanders hospital bed. His room looked more like a command center than a hospital room and was a true testament to his fighting spirit.
"Yes sir." Raziel answered.
"I have a mission for you then. I have selected a handful of men for you to train to the best of your ability. I want a small unit of men who can go deep in country with few supplies and infiltrate the enemies encampment." the older man explained simply.
"So why do you need me to train them sir? Aren't there people more qualified to do that sort of thing?"
"Yes and no, lieutenant," the man said. "I have been reading reports about your last engagement and I have seen the results first hand. That night you caused more damage to the enemy with a piece of pipe, a knife and your bare hands than we have with all of our artillery shells since the war stated."
"How so?" Raziel was beginning to get uncomfortable with what the commander was implying. He was coming to terms with the taking of human life but it still made him uncomfortable to talk about it.
"My spies tell me that the enemy is wary, they are afraid of you: the unstoppable Raziel. And the morale the men who were there has skyrocketed. They think you're some kind of demon or hell-spawn or something. I need you to train more men to do what you can do."
"I'll do my best sir, but I can't make any promises," Raziel finally said. He had been shot a few times, whatever Slade had done to him had made the other night possible and he doubted Slade would be open to handing it out like it was candy at Halloween.
It had taken the men almost two months of hard training to get to where they were now, and the commander was beginning to grow impatient. Sure the twelve men he had assigned to Raziel had vastly improved their physical fitness and mental discipline but it was taking too long for the training to be complete and he was going to tell the lieutenant just that.
"Lieutenant!" he bellowed over the sound of the near silence of the twelve men slowly following Raziel's movements through a Tai Chi form.
"Yes sir?" Raziel questioned after telling the men to continue without him.
"What's taking so long?"
"Excuse me?" he asked.
"You heard me."
"Sir, these things take time. In order to move quietly and do the things necessary to infiltrate guarded bases, the men need exceptional control over their bodies. Not just anyone can run up a wall." he summarized.
"And you can?" the commander asked, clearly not buying Raziel's story.
"We all can, sir."
"Bull."
"It's true, sir. You can check the gate records. For the last two weeks, basically since the wall around our base was constructed, we have been exfiltrating and then infiltrating the base as practice. The men have grown quite adept. The next phase of training will be out in the wilderness." The commander didn't believe that the men have been leaving the now secured base on a nightly basis but they all swore it was true.
"I was going to talk to you about taking an extended expedition into the countryside to test the men, sir." Raziel added.
That was two days ago and now the base had just dropped behind the horizon. The men were grouped together and sneaking fairly quietly through the night cloaked forest. They even blended with the darkness fairly well now that he had them take their night cammo out of their bags. Now all thirteen men were dressed alike, the other twelve wearing copies of Raziel's 'Reaper' robe from the artillery gun incident a few months back when he was just finishing basic training.
Going was slow because they were navigating through a forest by the cloud filtered light of a quarter moon, having to stop all together when a particularly thick cloud or branch blotted the sliver of light out altogether. For the hundredth time Raziel had to remind the men that they weren't going to use their flashlights to navigate, because the light would immediately give them away if they were in enemy territory. After another hour of navigating through the shifting darkness Raziel began to get the feeling he was being watched and he began scanning his surroundings more closely.
The cloud cover almost immediately began to move off, and although the sky was screened by a thin layer of leaves above, he could see clear as day by the light of the moon and stars filtering through the forest's thin canopy. Then he saw a figure standing next to a particularly thick stand of trees. A figure he recognized immediately.
"You guys go on ahead," he whispered, the sudden and unexpected noise startling the men and showing Raziel just how on edge they were and how seriously they were taking this training.
"Why?" someone whispered back. It sounded like Camil.
"I gotta bleed the lizard." he said after a moment of grasping for a plausible excuse. He probably could have snuck away but with so much light filtering down he didn't want to risk anyone seeing where he was going.
The men slowly moved off and he waited until they were out of sight before moving silently towards Slade, not wanting to make it easy for anyone to follow him. He approached rather quickly but still silently and by the time he had gotten within a dozen yards of Slade, it seemed apparent that the master assassin wasn't yet aware of his presence. A wicked smirk crossed his face as he slowed down and moved to the side, hoping to catch Slade off guard.
"Just because I cannot see you, Apprentice, doesn't mean I don't know where you are."
"Why can't you see?"
"Because it is dark, Apprentice. The clouds have blotted out the moon and stars." Slade's tone told Raziel that the man was not impressed that his apprentice had missed something so simple. "But that isn't important now" the man said after a moment, "why haven't you been checking in?"
"I wasn't aware I was supposed to," he hesitated for a moment, "master." He cringed slightly at the word; it still didn't feel right to acknowledge his subjugation to another.
"Master? I'm surprised to hear you say that Apprentice."
"I was allies with the Titans," he explained, "and they abandoned me. How many masters abandon their apprentices?"
"I have taken extreme caution in hiding our trail Apprentice. What makes you think they've abandoned you?"
"Because I tried contacting them-" he never got to finish his account as his instincts flared to life and he bought his left arm up to block the blow that would have rattled his skull. He reacted without thinking, thrusting the palm of his right hand into Slade's copper and black clad chin, snapping his head back and throwing the older man off balance. Years of training and experience with physical confrontation allowed Slade to turn the situation to his advantage. As he fell backwards he drove his right knee into Raziel's stomach and as the younger man curled inwards from the blow, he brought his left foot up sharply to connect with his chin. Raziel's body went limp as the blow connected. He hit the ground and rolled out of the way as the heel of Slade's boot left a dent in the soft earth. He forced himself to his feet but before he could fully right himself and regain his bearings he was grabbed and swung around to be pinned fiercely against the rough bark of an old growth poplar.
"And why did you contact them?" Slade asked, no emotion coming through on his voice, making the man seem even more frightening in Raziel's mind.
"To ask for help with my mission," he gurgled out in spite of the metal clad forearm that was slowly crushing his throat. He continued when the grip lessened. "The men have been writing the League for months begging for help. I thought I could use my pull to get the Titans down here."
"And?" Slade asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.
"They told me they weren't coming and I shouldn't call again. They abandoned me." Slade's eye narrowed.
"And you know I won't?" he purred, some sort of joy or good humour playing on his voice. He loved when the world worked to help him accomplish his goals.
"Yes master," Raziel swallowed great draughts of air when the grip disappeared and allowed him to slump to his hands and knees. After a few moments he felt something hit his back and fall to the ground.
"This should make it easier for you to keep in contact." Raziel looked to where he heard the object fell and saw a mask. Like Slade's, it was made of a highly durable metal polymer and covered his entire head. Unlike Slade's, Raziel's was all black. "It has built in communication system, visual amplifier, re-breather, and voice synthesizer, all the usual stuff." the man explained, "I'm sure you'll find it useful."
Raziel pushed back the hood on his robe and fitted the mask onto his head and face. It snapped shut and after a moment a HUD screen appeared before his eyes.
"It works by mapping your eye movements and using that to operate the software. Yes it has software," Slade purred, somehow sensing Raziel's surprise. "It is mostly automatic; the optic sensors will be used mainly for removal of the mask and toggling settings."
"Cool," Raziel said as the mask highlighted Slade's form and bought him into greater focus, he looked around his surroundings and noticed a marker moving over a brush of trees. A little bubble popped up saying that there was sound detected from that area.
"I also bought you this," Slade held out his collapsible staff, "I even modified it for you."
"Thank you, Master." He was genuinely appreciative of the staff. During the battle that had earned his promotion to his current position, he had used a length of reid bar as a staff but the flimsy metal had eventually bent and broken under the pressure, something his staff was not prone to doing. He flicked his wrist and the short length of metal burst into a six foot staff. Pressing a button near his thumb, small blades slid free from the ends of the staff, meaning that now his favourite weapon could do more than spin and hit. With practiced ease the weapon was collapsed and tucked into his belt at his back. When the staff was stowed away properly he removed the mask and placed it into the small bag he had bought for provisions before strapping it to his back beneath his robes.
"You will continue with your mission. Remember Apprentice, I will not abandon you as your friends have."
"Yes Master." Raziel bowed his head slightly and turned to track his men.
"One more thing, Apprentice," Slade purred.
Raziel was sent stumbling as a hard kick connected with his back and he rolled with the blow before launching back to his feet and turning to go on the offensive. He let fly a round house kick and connected with nothing but air, he instinctively dropped to the ground in mid kick and allowed the momentum to carry him through a fast roll as Slade foot sunk into the ground where his arm would have been.
Raziel quickly righted himself and both men circled each other, looking for an opening to attack. Slade was surprised by Raziel's stance; gone was the strong offensive stance, replaced instead by caution and a defensive, calculating nature. Raziel circled around Slade with his body held loose and fluid rather than tense and solid. Slade snapped off a powerful straight arm punch and Raziel's right hand arced out, knocking the incoming fist aside with his staff held in its collapsed position, Raziel completed the move by spinning around the now reeling assassin and aiming the butt of his staff to impact the man's kidney. His head was rattled as Slade spun with Raziel's blow and drove his elbow hard into the younger man's head. Raziel collapsed to the ground and before he could regain his bearings he was hauled up and pinned against a tree with his own staff slowly crushing down on his throat.
Raziel's vision came back into focus as Slade bought his face close, his single eye narrowed into an angry slit as Raziel clawed at Slade's arm. His throat was beginning to hurt and his lungs were screaming for air after the intense physical confrontation.
"you've improved Apprentice, but you still aren't good enough to beat me." Raziel's clawing grew more desperate against Slade's steel clad arms and be began kicking at the man's midsection, trying desperately to relieve pressure on his aching throat. The sounds of his strangled murmurs for mercy were drowned out when Slade spoke again.
"Do not go behind my back again." Raziel's vision faded and everything went dark.
A/N2: As always, I hope you guys enjoyed the update. I want to thank my reviewers and all of the readers who visit and favorite/subscribe to this fic. Another huge thank you to TheDarkPrince for his immense efforts as Beta. remember to Review because I love hearing what you guys think.