He drove slowly, but steadily into her, hands holding her up by her hips. The bedlinens lay in tatters around them, he had hooked his foot talons into them for leverage. Her fists balled in the pillow beneath her face and her back bowed in the most arousing way, she was crying out hoarsely into it. Her naked back before him, the way she kept thrusting back to meet him, it was driving him slowly insane, he was sure. As her inner muscles shuddered around him yet again, he whimpered, feeling like the top of this mountain would never be reached. The fulmination of his passion was just out of reach, it being the successor to the long line of many before it. It eluded him maddeningly, but he persued it relentlessly, his own voice coming to his ears as a whine, "Spirits, so close. I can't-I-"
With a deft twist, she slithered onto her side, leg rising to rest on his shoulder. The change in the pressure of her slick channel finally undid him. With a series of sighing 'ah's, he emptied himself into her, shaking and shuddering. He nearly blacked out, trying to blink the stars out of his vision. She turned completely onto her back to cradle his exhausted body, their sweat mingling into a sticky mess where their bellies touched. It was so hard to catch his breath and she seemed to be having the same difficulty, her chest heaving under his weight. He poured his feelings for her through his gaze, gratified to see more than an echo return.
Unable to hold himself up, he lay on her fully, face dropping into the hollow between her neck and shoulder. She chuckled weakly, her voice a whisper, "Okay, that was the most intense workout I've ever done."
He slid from her, organ finally relaxed enough to retract, lay on his side facing her, tried to keep his eyes from sliding shut, "Well, you know me, always helpful with the old exercise regimen."
She sighed deeply, content. Then groaned as she rolled onto her side and scooted back into him. "Man, I'm going to be stiff tomorrow."
He rumbled happily and pulled her close, hand on her belly, "I won't be."
"Tsk. Who knew you were such a dirty boy, Garrus." Her voice was drifting away, taken by the specter of dreams. He mumbled some nonsensical reply as he sleep claimed him.
He woke in her bed, wondering for a moment how he'd gotten there. She lay next to him in a tangle of sheets, her bare thigh beckoning the touch of his hand, which he did, sliding it appreciatively over the firm flesh. The room smelled of their mixed essences, not unpleasantly. He was just considering going to the bathroom when Shepard started awake. Her eyes were open anyway, staring wide and terrified. Her body was frozen with fear, abject fear.
"Jane?" Alarmed, he tried to shake her. Panicked when her mouth opened in a grimace, lips peeled back from teeth in a horrifying rictus. The softest choking noise came out of her throat. His voice rose as he almost shouted at her unchanging gaze, "Jane! Snap out of it!"
He looked where she was staring and realized it was the window. The damned window. Stars whizzed by slowly. She'd been spaced. It was the sight of the window making her flashback. He rose til he was above her, blocking her view of the damned stars completely. Finally some awareness came into her eyes as she locked gazes with him, her whole body going limp, tears started rolling out of her eyes as she looked at him with shame on her face.
He embraced her gently, "You're here. You're alive. I've got you."
She wept against his chest and he turned them so she lay on his chest and couldn't see the stars. Great riotous sobs broke from her, with little keening shrieks sometimes in between. Garrus held her through it, wondering how many times this happened. Wondering how she'd handled it alone. Knew she shouldn't have had to. Finally she calmed down enough to look at him, face red, she blotted his chest with a bit of blanket, "Sorry. I got your chest all soggy."
He laughed, pushing her messy tangle of hair out of her face, "What's a little water and mucus between friends?"
She choked out a bitter laugh, "What a mess I am."
"Pfft. Who isn't? Everyone on this boat's a mess. If it's any consolation, you're the best looking mess here, though." He cajoled her, ignoring the disquieting darting of her eyes. Had he been so wrapped up in his own problems that he hadn't seen how much strain she was under? Another failing of his. Stupid, selfish turian. Garrus saw her look at the chronometer and frown. A quick glance told him that they'd slept most the morning away. "Would you like to take a shower with me?"
She grinned at him, chasing the last of the old ghosts away, "I thought you weren't going to be...up for anything this morning."
"Hey, whoa, I'm just talking about getting clean. You know, you scrub my back, I scrub yours." His voice dripped a mostly feigned lust and he leered at her lasciviously. She had the grace to blush and he rumbled happily, picking her up bodily with him as he stood. Her eyes were drawn to the window again.
"The Illusive Man's sick idea of a joke." She waved at it. Then she said softly, "I could have it closed, but it helps me remember."
"Why would you want to?" Garrus carried her to the bathroom and set her on the tile, watched her turn the water on, adjusting the knobs for temperature. Soon, a soothingly warm mist spread around them. With a sigh, she eased under the spray of water. He watched the water cascade down her body, fascinated at how it almost adhered to her skin.
"Not being spaced. It helps me remember my failings." She ran a comb through her hair to get the water to saturate it completely. He took the toothy device from her and at her quizzical look, gestured for her to turn around. He ran it through her hair slowly, down to the center of her back, utterly intrigued by the way it parted around the teeth of the comb. She handed him a bottle full of some kind of liquid.
He tried to read the words on it, but there was just a universal phonetic key, "Schamm-pew."
"Shampoo. It's soap, for hair. A good dollop and rub it in, it foams." Hmmm, he thought, A special soap for hair. He squirted the viscous liquid into his palm, breathing in the floral scent before applying it to her hair. She showed him how to massage her scalp and sighed deeply when he took over, "You have such nice strong hands. That feels...almost sinfully good."
You ain't kidding. He concentrated on getting the soap nice and foamy, then stood back to watch her rinse it out, "You know, you can remember your failings without being reminded of them."
She stood, thoughtfully letting the water sluice shampoo down her back, "That's true, I suppose. Doubt it'll stop the dreams though. I understand if that freaked you out. You don't have to sleep up here any more if-"
He stopped her words with a kiss, stepping under the water with her, enjoying the sensation of the water heating up his plates, "I'll be here for however long you want me to be."
She sighed, relieved and grabbed another bottle labeled 'Detangler'. He let her apply it herself this time, watching her run her long fingers through her mass of red curls. She picked up a sponge of some kind and put some soap on it, then walked around behind him and started rubbing it into his skin in little circles. His eyes almost crossed in enjoyment as the rough surface ran over the skin between his plates, scratching places he couldn't reach himself. She started to roam all over his body, soaping and scrubbing. He shivered at the sensation, desire starting to trickle into his belly. His lower plates loosened as she washed them and she looked up at him, crooked smile on her face, "Really, Vakarian? Six hours of mind blowing sex and you still want more?"
With a touch of chagrin, he said, "I know, I'm incorrigible. I don't think he's up for it, really. He just wants you to know he's still interested."
Shepard laughed, pushing him under the full spray of water to rinse him off. He sputtered a bit for dramatic effect, trying to shoot her an indignant glare with water pounding him in the face. He grabbed the scrubber from her, "My turn."
He started with her back, just as she had with him. Then methodically worked his way everywhere, even her heels, which she giggled at. He filed that information away for later. There was redness and chafing at the junction of her thighs, he made a little hiss when he saw it. Shepard felt the area with a hand, "Got to get some cream from Mordin. Luckily, we don't seem that allergic to each other."
When he straightened up, she slid back under the water, soap running down her body in rivulets. She rinsed her hair one more time and shut the water off. As they toweled off, Garrus grabbed her wrist and pulled her close, "I never did thank you for that song you wrote."
"Did you like it?" She smiled into his eyes, still toweling her hair.
"I...gave it to my mother. She loved it. I got a message from Solana, that's my sister, last week that she still listens to it at least once a day." He embraced her tightly, "Thank you, Jane. Any small bit of joy she can have..."
Shepard blinked rapidly, clearing tears from her eyes, "You know I was pretty messed up on the first Normandy, before...you hummed that little ditty in the mako on that backwater planet."
Garrus remembered, nodding.
She continued, "I thought I'd murdered that part of me. The part that loved music. It was dead and I was a sword. The galaxy had no place for music if it didn't have one for my family. So I learned to kill."
He shuddered at the coldness in her voice, but the coldness was just a memory. There was no place for it in her any more. "Anderson told me something about it. At your...grave. On Earth. Said he was damned for shaping you to his design or something like that. I'm probably paraphrasing."
"It's good that he can feel remorse for what he did to me. I was never able to trust him. His motivations were always 'the end justifies the means' variety." She barked a laugh, reaching for fresh clothing. "I learned from you that the means were just as important if not more so than the ends."
Garrus scoffed, "When did I do that? Was I drunk at the time?"
"A while after I talked you into joining my crew. I was, how does Thane put it...disconnected. I didn't care about my people beyond the job. In fact, I had no idea at the beginning what I would even need a sniper for. It seemed inefficient to have to reload or wait for the gun to cool after every single shot."
"Ouch, Jane. Way to deflate my ego." He winced, holding his hands up to forestall any further abuse. Shepard placed her hands in his, spreading her fingers in groups so they could clasp in a way that felt a bit weird but was pleasant.
"Oh, I came around quickly, Garrus. You were inspiring to watch, even then." She laughed as he preened a bit before continuing, "I started to watch the crew. You talked with everyone, like I did. Only you weren't using them like I was, as tools to hunt down Saren. What I didn't expect, and what shocked me the most, was learning about the wealth I'd inadvertently gained in the people I chose.
"All of them shining so brightly, living so brilliantly. I tried so hard not to love them, all of them. Their stories varied, but the desperate hope each and every one of them possessed didn't. It was like being surrounded by bonfires in winter. I learned that this caring without needing to use or take was far from unnecessary, it was very necessary and I learned that from you." She kissed his scarred mandible.
Garrus said, "I don't know how much of that was really me. I think we were all looking for connection-"
"And then you hummed that little song as you cleaned your rifle. There was so much love in it, I couldn't help but hear it. And it went around and around in my head, stirring up the dead. I think I started to reconnect then, but not in any sort of gentle way. It was like a door in my mind kept opening and closing, letting little bright flashes out. It was agonizing. Like a limb you thought was gone was just asleep and now it's tingling like crazy as it wakes up."
"I hadn't realized how much I'd missed the music until I heard it again." Shepard finished putting on her clothes, a black set of underarmor. There must be a mission today, he wondered if he should go suit up. She touched his face gently, "So, you see, you saved me first."
Incredibly moved, he sat dumbfounded for the longest time as she strapped on her armor. Before he could think of anything to say, she spoke again, "About Haestrom. I'm sure you have questions..."
He rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah, I just wanted to know why. Why, right then? Were you just seeing if I could do it?"
"I knew you could command, Garrus. You needed to see that you could." She holstered her weapons, checking her heatsinks, she turned to him hesitantly, "I need you to do something for me."
"Anything, you know that." He was nervous. Why would she need a favor from him? And what did it have to do with Haestrom?
"Admiral Hackett wants me to go solo into the Bahak system, to rescue some scientist from her own hubris."
"Solo, Jane? Is that a good idea?" Garrus felt the shiver of premonition run up his spine. He wanted to tell her not to go, to say screw the Alliance. "Who's going to watch your six?"
"Orders are orders. They're making me choose my allegiances. As if I haven't proved myself a thousand times over." She looked at him sadly, "It may take some time. I don't know how long, a day or maybe a few hours, I just don't know. But while I'm out there, I need you to take a team back to Illium and help Liara. We're running out of time, we've got to start dividing our resources if we are to stand any sort of chance."
Her faith in him shined brightly from her eyes and he set his jaw, "When?"
"We're almost at Illium now. I had Joker set the course last night." So soon...and then he wouldn't get to see her for however long. Garrus rubbed his neck, his trepidation over her safety gnawing at him. But he would do whatever she needed so he nodded, pulling on his own clothes. She leaned against a wall, a smirk of appreciation playing about her lips, her eyes roaming over his body.
"Who's my team?" He started to head to the door and she fell into step beside him.
"Your show. I would probably count Liara in, though." They turned toward each other in the elevator, hands reaching out to clasp warmly. Garrus gave a little squeeze, reassuring himself and her.
"Hmm. It'll be nice to have a singularity again." Shepard laughed lightly. He joined her, his voice a bit strained. He pulled her to him, picking her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. It was a little uncomfortable, her armor was jabbing and pinching him, but he didn't care, he buried his face in her slightly damp hair, "You be safe, Jane. I know you're crazy, but don't do anything stupid."
She kissed his mouthplates, then snapped off a salute, "Yes, sir!"
He left her then to get his armor, weapons and his team and go forth in her name.