Hey! Look who it is with another update! I'm back from my holiday and now me and Lunachu have been able to work on chapter 6...and now it's up! We're starting chapter 7 as we speak! Can we personally thank all the people that have reviewed, followed and favourited right from the start. It really means a lot to us, showing us that what we write isn't rubbish! Plus, everyone who followed, favourited or reviewed whilst we hadn't uploaded for 2 weeks really made it feel like you were all waiting for us! I hope you were! We really put our effort into this chapter and it's our longest one!

We don't own Big Time Rush...what a sad, sad world that is :P

Enjoy! :)

A harsh, hacking sound awoke Kendall from his light sleep, James and Carlos rising at the noise as well. Squinting over at the clock revealed the time to be just gone 7am. In their groggy states, it took them a few minutes to remember why they were sleeping in the living room in the first place. Logan. He'd come back, flown all the way and collapsed into Kendall's arms. Mama Knight had seen Logan and his wings, not saying anything about it and instead caring for Logan to get his spiked fever down. Another harsh cough sounded and they all turned to the direction if the couch. Logan was sitting up on the couch, one hand over his mouth, the other clutching the area around his ribs. He had tears rolling down his eyes and seemed to be panting slightly, as if he was finding harder to breathe. Kendall immediately dashed over, jumping over the coffee table like it was a hurdle and placed himself on the edge of the couch. Very slowly, because he didn't know how much Logan actually trusted him yet, he put his hand on Logan's lower back, pleased when the younger boy didn't flinch. He started rubbing circles as he pulled Logan into his lap, being mindful to never go up far enough to touch his wings. No, they would address that situation later.
"Shh, calm down, it's ok" he soothed as if they were magically best friends again, maybe even boyfriends, but Kendall knew Logan would never go that far. The main concern was to get Logan breathing at a regular speed. James and Carlos ventured over, James taking the spot on the end of the couch and Carlos directly in front of them on the floor, gently patting Logan's knee. "That's better, in and out" Kendall continued once Logan seemed to be listening to him. As the ragged breaths turned into just slightly strained inhales and exhales, they relaxed. Kendall placed his hand on the winged boy's forehead, glad that it seemed his fever had broken. No one spoke; nothing could be heard apart from the incessant ticking of the clock and the occasional cough or clearing of a throat from Logan.
"Logan...what-why did you come here?" James spluttered out, finding his words not coming out as easily as he thought they would. Logan doesn't look up, keeping his eyes trained on his fidgeting fingers.
"Please tell us, we want to help" Carlos says so beggingly that Logan has to look at him, with his confused brown orbs.
"I-I-I found some photos, of...us. I needed to see what was right or not" he paused briefly to cough into his arm. "I don't think I believe some of the things my grandparents are telling me anymore and it's-it's just really hard." he told them barely above a whisper. However, new hope has sparked in the three boys. If Logan doesn't believe them and found photos, then surely he might believe them.
"Where are these photos then?" Kendall asked. "We'll tell you everything you want to know."

Logan slowly reached for the small bag he'd brought with him, his arms shaking slightly with weakness and strain. His body was still exhausted, Logan couldn't risk straining himself more after such a long flight. Carlos, noticing what he was reaching for, happily grabbed it and placed the rough brown bag in Logan's lap, then, sensing that at least now Logan wouldn't shove them away, he placed himself on the end of the couch by Logan's feet, watching at the pale boy reached into the bag. The pale hand rooted around for a few seconds, before pulling out a crumpled, wet photograph and placing it gently on the cushion, following that, Logan began pulling out photo frames, the wood splitting from the damp on some of the frames, but the pictures otherwise intact. His fingers gently traced something on the first, ruined picture, his eyes seeming to fill with tears in front of the other three boy's eyes. Seeing Logan so at war with himself, it was tearing Kendall's heart in two. So, slowly and carefully, Kendall placed his warm, calloused hand on top of Logan's soft one, squeezing gently in comfort and urging him to start talking. The brunette cleared his throat gently as he began.
"I found boxes, lots of boxes filled with my belongings while I was exploring my... my Grandparents' house in Texas. When I opened the one closest to me, this picture was lying at the top, coated in dust." He carefully turned the picture to them, the three boys being greeted by themselves in their younger years, maybe around 9 or 10. They were all grinning wildly in hockey jerseys and helmets, clutching tight hold of a trophy while they struggled to all fit into the photograph and have a fair hold on their prize. James couldn't help but smile lightly as the memories came flooding back.
"That was a few years ago, we were 10 and we'd just won our first Ice Hockey Tournament. Granted it was with a load of other kids our age, but we were all so proud of ourselves. Your parents took us out for dinner afterwards to celebrate, the classic McDonalds meal. Let me tell you, bumps and bruises from hockey had never been more worth it." James's eyes were glazed over as he smiled, remembering the day. They'd all been so happy and innocent, long before Logan and Kendall had begun dating, they were all just best friends, enjoying each other's company. James didn't really blame the two for getting together, they had obvious chemistry and meant the world to each other, but it had definitely caused tension in the group for a little while afterwards.
James was so lost in the memory; he hadn't noticed the thick silvery tears flooding down Logan's cheeks. Kendall was immediately at the boy's side, running his hand through Logan's hair and rubbing his lower back in comfort, trying desperately to make the tears stop.
"Logan, Logie what's wrong? Why are you crying? That's a happy memory!" Logan sniffed, shaking his head firmly as he buried it closer into Kendall's firm chest, allowing the salty water to soak his shirt.
"I want my parents, why did they have to die? They wouldn't have lied to me like Grandma and Grandpa did..." He sobbed, clutching onto the fabric. Carlos's eyes filled with the same liquid as he watched his usually strong best friend break down, especially as to why he was so upset. Why had the people at the institute thing been so cruel to him? Logan didn't deserve any of it.
"Logan," Carlos began slowly, reaching out to touch the pale boy's shoulder. "Your parents aren't dead; those people have warped your mind."

Logan looked at him in utter disbelief, deciding if he should pull away and leave now whilst he had the chance or stay and hear them out. He opted for the second; if he didn't believe his grandparents it might be because he knew in the back of his mind they were lying. But...his parents were alive? That couldn't be true could it? His grandparents had shown him their graves one day and he had taken some flowers with him. He had visited their old house, now sold onto a different couple. And above all, he had seen the death certificates. They were dead. There was no changing that, no matter how much these boys wanted him to be happy. But he said they warped his mind. Did they mean his grandparents or everyone in general?
"W-wh-what d-d-o you m-mean? They're d-de-ad" he stuttered, his wings unconsciously folding closer to his bare upper half. Mama Knight had decided it best to leave a top off Logan because of the white wings now added onto his back.
"They aren't dead. They're alive. You're grandparents took you away and sent you to that institute and they did things to you. We don't know exactly what-well, apart from one thing" James told him. Logan looked at the fluffy white wings he had grown to love. Yes, they had given him them, but only because he was destined to be an angel. Why couldn't they understand that? And they did things to him?
"I think you might have got it wrong" Logan replied, an uncertain waver present in his voice.
"No. No we haven't. You're parents are alive! We were with them a few days ago! Please believe us Logan! They did something to you and we lost our best friend! He changed...in more ways than one" Carlos persists.
"I was destined to be an angel ok! Ever since I was born! They just gave me my wings so that I could finally help people properly. God meant this for me, God made it my-"
"No one's destiny is to be an angel Logan" Kendall softly interrupts. "I'm sorry, but THEY wanted you to be an angel. To mould you into the perfect boy, not God, them" Logan was already shaking his head.
"No. That's not true. It was meant to be, God's Holy light even shone upon me. It's tru-what's that?" his attention was drawn to a photo frame buried underneath the others. Taking it out, his eyes widened in horror at what he saw. Him and Kendall. Him and Kendall on the same couch he was on at the moment. Him and Kendall...kissing. He dropped the photo frame as if it were burning his hands and he shot up from the couch so fast that he stumbled backwards into the wall. "Y-you...t-that...YOU!" he shouted pointing a finger at Kendall. "Being like that is wrong! Very wrong! It's a sin! It-it shouldn't be allowed! Why are we doing that?! Why did I do that?! I didn't do that!" he was full out yelling now, gripping his hair in frustration. Mama Knight had been watching the scene unfold outside and now stepped in as well. "I may have felt that way before, but I don't now! That's why I was sent away! I was TAINTED! I BETRAYED GOD AND I WAS TAINTED! That sort of behaviour only brings pain! It brings punishment! The electric shocks and beatings! That's what it brings!" Logan was going mental, pulling at his hair and pacing around. But the thing was he was slowly revealing everything he had been put through. Someone would have gone over to calm him down, but they wouldn't be able to do that. He had to calm down on his own. "I'm an angel! An angel, an angel, an angel! I don't sin! I help people! I got my wings because I'm an angel! That's what they said! That's what they sai-" and he suddenly stops. Stops pacing and looks directly at them. "That's what they said" he whispers, a look of dreaded dawning etching onto his face. And then before they can say anything, he suddenly clutches his head so tightly his knuckles go white. He screams, agonised and torturing as he sinks to his knees. He's still screaming when he manages to get out a pained whimper. "They all lied" and that's when Logan's eyes close and his body falls limp.

Kendall's heart leapt into his throat as he watched Logan's pale, tortured body crumple in on its-self and fall into a heap on the soft, carpeted floor. His feathered wings twitched a little, before falling limply across Logan's upper body like a sort of blanket. Kendall rushed over to the fallen body, ignoring his mother's request to stay back.
"Logan? Logie can you hear me? Are you alright? Logan!" He rolled the boy onto his back, being careful not the crush his wings, and gripped tightly onto his shoulders, shaking them in desperation.
Logan's beautiful brown eyes remained closed and still, his breaths still wheezing slightly as he attempted to breathe through the harsh cold he had developed from the flight. Logan's fingers were still firmly threaded through his hair, gripping onto his scalp for dear life. Kendall gently rubbed the back of Logan's hands, watching as his tense fingers finally loosened and fell from his hair.
"Kendall," James began gently, also worried for their small friend. "Let's get him back on the couch and warm, alright? We can see how he is when he wakes up." Waiting until Kendall nodded in agreement, they both lifted Logan and lay him back on the couch, forcing his wings to fold beneath him comfortably and lifting up the woollen blanket to his shoulders, tucking it around him. Logan's face was now peaceful and relaxed, no trace of the break down he had just had showing on his porcelain white skin. His eyelids fluttered gently as a response to the dream he was having, the long eyelashes gently brushing against the slightly pink cheeks that were flushed with the returning fever. However, the boy showed no signs of regaining consciousness any time soon.
Kendall sighed lightly and began running his fingers through Logan's hair like he had earlier on when Logan had began crying, gently massaging the pads of his fingers into the boy's scalp in a desperate attempt to comfort him once more. Carlos was now stood by Mrs Knight, his eyes filled with scared tears as his body trembled lightly, fully shaken up by Logan's break down. It was obvious that Carlos had never witnessed someone's mental state break like that before, especially since it was such a un-Logan way to act. The image of his strong, smart, logical friend had been shattered, leaving a shell of the person Logan had once been. A shell of a person who had been filled with lies, his body mutated beyond reason with the white wings that stuck out from horrible scars on the boys back. His Logie-bear was broken, and Carlos prayed that they'd be able to put him back together soon. They all needed the rock support that was Logan to get them through every hardship.

Logan remained asleep for the rest of the morning and throughout the day. They had been eating in the living room next to Logan for breakfast and lunch, too afraid that he might wake up and freak out if no one was there. This morning really showed them how much the people in the institute had damaged Logan, not just mentally but physically too. Everything that had gone on, all the punishments and beatings and everything else that might have happened had basically scared Logan's mind into thinking-believing that being gay was wrong. He thought you got punished for being gay and he probably had been. Kendall sighed as he watched the feverish boy sleep, his wings still cocooning him as he was oblivious to everything around him. Kendall glanced back at where the wings joined onto Logan's back, seeming to meld into it. He traces one of the angry red scars. They had done this to him and not just the wings. Kendall could also see a faint scar running along Logan's hairline and he suspected they could have altered his mind manually as well. The things they had done in that place, not just to Logan, but to everyone that had ever stayed there. It was inhumane and they all knew it.

Carlos hardly approached Logan for the whole 3 days he was asleep, he hung in the corner of the living room, watching his once best friend sleep, worry etched into all of his features, however, he didn't approach. One time, while Kendall and Mrs Knight were coaxing water and thin soup through Logan's sleeping lips, Logan had suddenly tensed up and started screaming, all colour draining from his face as he started shaking madly as if being electrocuted. His voice cracked through the pain he must have been feeling, his throat quickly becoming sore and strained as Kendall, James and Mrs Knight rushed and struggled to calm the boy and stop his violent screams. But they just kept going. Carlos stayed cowered in the corner of the room, covering his tear soaked eyes yet peering through his fingers as he watched his best friend convulse and screech in pain. Sobs heaved from his lungs, the odd hiccup sneaking its way into his throat as he continued to just stare, doing nothing to help. He just couldn't handle it, he didn't understand. Logan had done nothing wrong, nothing at all, yet all this had been happening to him. Horrible flashbacks that seemed to be causing actual pain, sickness, fever, and a mental break down, it was all just so unfair. Logan didn't deserve it, there was no way he did! Finally, Logan's pained screams drew to a close and he fell back to the couch, the pure wings once again twisting around and covering him protectively. There wasn't a dry eye in the room, the two Knights and James that leant over the small, pale boy sobbing openly at their friend, not even bothering to hide how scared they were. Mrs Knight gently wrapped her arms around the once again sleeping boy, stroking his hair gently and whispering soothing words into his ear, trying to ward off any approaching nightmares that might plague the boy she's come to see as a son. It just wasn't fair.

There was one occasion where they were all in the kitchen and not with Logan who still had not woken up. Jennifer put it down to his fever and emotional trauma, saying his mind needed time to relax. It was the early hours of the morning and no one could sleep. They were all around the table, drinking hot chocolate when they heard a noise. Like something had bumped into something close by. Thinking nothing more of it, they resumed the quiet chat they had managed to bring up. That was until another presence entered the kitchen. Logan stood in the doorway, swaying unsteadily on his feet. His eyes remained closed and didn't acknowledge anyone.
"Logan?" James asked hopeful but confused. Logan showed no sign of hearing him, walking into the room and mumbling incoherently to himself. He walked slowly, dragging his legs and his arms limp by his sides. His wings were still wrapped around him somewhat like he was still asleep. Then it hit them.
"Is he sleepwalking?" Kendall asked bewildered. Mama Knight slowly got up and walked over to Logan, placing a hand on his shoulder and shaking it slightly.
"Logan, baby, are you ok? Don't you need to be in bed?" She asked him seeing if he could hear anyone. Logan's head turned towards her direction but instead of replying he pleaded with her: "Please don't give me another shot! I'll be good! I'll be good! I promise! Please, please, please" his words were thick with sleep, but it was clear what he was saying. "What do you mean honey? No one is going to give you any shots" she spoke as she gripped both of his shoulders. Logan struggled to get out of her grip, but couldn't. "Please! I'm sorry! Don't hit me! No...no please..." Logan was sobbing now, still trying to escape. "Ow! Ow! Ow!" He yelled flinching as of someone was hitting him repeatedly. Tears in her eyes, Mama Knight could on hug Logan close as he continued to flinch and cry. Suddenly, as soon as it started, he fell limp in her grip, once again in sleepy abyss. Kendall carried Logan to the couch and Mama Knight again ran her fingers through Logan's hair, wishing that soon he'd wake up for real.

Eventually, the woman's wish was granted. It had been 3 full, long days before Logan showed any sign of fully waking, and when he did, it wasn't a pretty sight. Kendall sat beside Logan's still, sleeping form, running his fingers up and down his pale back, gently massaging between his wings, his emerald green eyes never leaving Logan's motionless face. Carlos, James and Mrs Knight had all gone to bed, needing to catch up on their much needed sleep, whereas Kendall had refused to leave Logan all alone. His eyes had been drooping closed slowly, the clock that perched on the wall above their head ticking mockingly, counting away the seconds, minutes and hours that Logan had been locked away in his own mind. Kendall had been about to give up on Logan waking that night, and stood, carefully patting himself down of the dust that had collected on his jeans from the long time sat still, having to take his comforting touch away from Logan's back in order to do so. Then, it happened. Logan moaned lightly, his beautiful brown eyes slowly cracking open and being once again exposed to the earth they had hidden from for days on end. They were slightly clouded and confused as the irises traced around the room, slowly taking in their surroundings before focusing on the shocked blonde that stood to his left.
"Hey," Logan croaked softly, his voice hoarse from being unused for so long.
"Hey yourself," Kendall replied, very slowly approaching Logan, happy to see he didn't flinch away. He sat back down, placing his hand back on Logan's back and resuming the gentle massage he had taken up, smiling lightly as he watched Logan's eyes begin to drift closed into a natural sleep.

Kendall must have drifted off too sometime after that, because he was startled awake by James and Carlos bounding into the room.
"Aww! He's still not awake!" Carlos commented sadly as this is what it appeared to them, not knowing of the events that occurred last night. Mrs Knight had now also arrived and also sighed. Kendall however, kept on smiling, confusing the others.
"He woke up last night. Just as I was about to leave he opened his eyes! Sure he only said hey, but it's something!" He exclaimed excitedly. Carlos started to jump on the spot. "Really?!" He cried and whooped loudly when Kendall nodded yes in reply. James joined in and Mama Knight was grinning broadly. All the commotion going on around the room caused another moan to emit from Logan, his body turning slightly and his eyes blinking open. He looked at all the ecstatic people around him and asked.
"Wha's 'appenin'." Well more like slurred it. Carlos ran over, taking Logan into his arms, lifting him up and spinning him around yelling "you're awake! You're awake!" He gently set him down on his feet again, but Logan being still too week, swayed and stumbled around trying to find the balance he once possessed. Before he lost his footing completely, Kendall scooped him up in his arms and set him back on the couch, wrapping the blankets around him and sitting at his feet.
"Carlos, Logan's still very sleepy and out of it. He's not too strong at the moment, so just beware" Kendall told the Latino. Carlos saluted him back. Logan suddenly changed his position. Sitting up and leaning in to Kendall's side. Now that hadn't been seen in a very long while.

Kendall was still unable to keep the large smile from his face as Logan snuggled up closer, his tired eyes still drooping dangerously as he made himself comfortable against Kendall's rib cage, his pale, warm face nuzzling gently into Kendall's collar bone. Carlos and James stared on in shock as Logan openly showed affection for the first time since the fateful day that the two had been torn away from each other by his Grandparents, forcefully ripped from each other's gentle grasp.
"How you doing there, Logie? Feeling alright?" Kendall asked gently, leaning over and moving a few strands of hair away from Logan's eyes with his finger tip.
Logan moaned lightly, slowly rubbing his cheek and nose up against Kendall's shoulder in another desperate bid to find a comfortable position against the blonde's soothing aura.
"I'm alright," He told Kendall, the slur still present in his voice from how tired he was, but much easier to understand now. "Sleepy, hurting."
Kendall immediately sat up a little, causing Logan to moan lightly once more as he was jolted by the violent movement. Kendall was about to ask Logan, but Carlos beat him to it, albeit louder then Kendall was planning.
"You hurt?! Where?! It wasn't my fault was it?! I'm sorry if I hurt you! Don't hate me Logiebear! Please?!" He pleaded, even dramatically dropping to his knees and placing his hands together in apology. Logan's face broke out into a small, crooked smile, the first one the boys had seen in quite a while.
"It's fine, Carlos, you didn't hurt me really..." he trailed off, his eyes focusing on a very interesting patch of carpet while picking at a loose strand of thread on the blanket he was wrapped in.
"Logan," James began slowly, approaching the small boy, urging him to continue. When Logan said nothing, James continued talking, pushing his still messy bangs away from his eyes. "You need to tell us where you hurt so we can help."
Logan still refused to look up from where his eyes were focused, but began to talk. "My heart, my heart hurts and I don't know why. It isn't a scary pain really, just emotional. I feel so guilty and scared. My heart hurts James, help me..." He trailed off once more, eyes filling with tears as he desperately clung to Kendall's arm, still nuzzling his face into the warm skin and pyjamas that Kendall wore.

Aww! Poor Logie! I must thank Lunachu for coming up with the whole 'heart hurting' part! She's a legend, seriously read her stories if you already haven't! So, did you like chapter 6? Did all that effort pay off? We would really like to know what you think about our story and what you like and dislike about it. We love critcism because in the end it makes us better authors! We have amazing loyal readers and reviewers, but maybe do you think those of you who read and don't review could put in a little word just once? Please, for us. Well, the next chapter is in progress and we hoped you liked this one! Until then!

Thank you,

~swagUPwindowsDOWN & Lunachu :) x