Hey! We now have chapter 7 for you! Just to say, because school has now started up again for the both of us, we won't be able to update every few days. We'll try to get as much done as quick as possible, but we don't have as much time as we did over summer. Still, we can probably get in an update each week, so that's not too bad. Thanks for all your reviews! We love reading them! Also, I'm not sure how much we'll be able to write this week as I'm going to the hospital tomorrow for treatment for something (long story basically me and my sister have this genetic thing that needs treatment) and also later in the week. But that aside, we'll try to write as quickly as we can!

We don't own Big Time Rush, but we do have all the windows down!

Enjoy! :)

The three boys could only blink at Logan. What were they meant to say to that? Kendall tried to figure out some way of consoling Logan, but the best he could come up with was to hug him closer.
"It's like something's missing. And...I've been thinking about everything and what it might be..." he trailed off and looked at James and Carlos, before his gaze settled on Kendall. "It's you" he said more quietly. Kendall's eyes widened.
"M-me? Logan, are you serious?" he asked, a thread of hope slowly beginning to sow all of the holes in his heart up. Logan nodded firmly.
"Yeah. I know that I need something to make me feel whole again. I need our relationship back and boy would I love to have it..."
"But?" James sensed one coming in Logan's sentence.
"I-I'm just not ready for that yet. My mind is still so incredibly mixed up and messed with. I can't think about a relationship like that without being freaked out or disgusted. I just can't commit yet." he looked at Kendall, his big brown orbs as wide as saucers and glistening with fat, salty tears. "Kendall...will you wait? Until my mind is back to normal or at least sees that it's ok to be with you? Will you wait...for me?" he asked brokenly. Kendall had tears pricking in his eyes now as his one and truly love, who he thought would never love him again, had told him he would with time. Kendall brought Logan fully into his lap, hugging him as tightly as he could.
"Of course I will, Logie. I'll wait as long as you want, as long as you need. I could wait days, months and years just to be with you again. I'll hold out for you, and when it's time, I'll be here" he replied, the heartfelt words hitting everybody in the room and leaving them emotional. That right there was love. James and Carlos smiled at each other. Kendall and Logan would be back together eventually, it would just take a bit of waiting. But they also knew now that Logan was getting better, he was seeing what the truth was and what were lies. He was slowly trusting him again. There was hope for them yet.

Logan was recovering slowly though out the next week, beginning to allow his once close friends approach him more and more. Their Logie was gently shining through, cracking the firm mask that the institute had covered him with, and shattering the shell that he had turned in to. He and Carlos once again began studying Chemistry every night, albeit Logan was still quiet and hesitant towards him. James had begun helping Logan do his hair every morning, carefully pulling the long bangs up into carefully sculpted spikes while the smaller brunette stayed quiet on the chair in front of him. But the most improvement had come with Logan and Kendall's relationship. When they were alone together, it was almost like Logan had never gone to the institute, they cuddled up together on the couch, just watching movies and chatting like they used to, enjoying each others' company. Logan had dozed off on Kendall several times already that week, but the blonde never minded, happily carrying the light boy to the spare bedroom in which Mrs Knight had given him in her home. But it wasn't long until the happy time they were all having began to draw to a close. It began as a fleeting comment from Carlos as the hyperactive boy filled his mouth with a PB+J sandwich.
"Hey, Logan, do you like your wings? No offence but they look so strange and unnatural! I bet they feel awkward to, just these bony structures poking out of y-Ow!" Carlos said, flinching and pouting as James gently hit him over the head with a glare to shut him up. Carlos looked confused for a second as to why his little rant had been stopped, but realisation dawned on him as he took one look at Logan's crestfallen face. Without wasting any more time, the mutated boy quickly scrambled up from his spot beside Kendall, thick tears already trailing down his paled face. Logan's brown eyes focused on the large, fluffy wings that poked out from his angry red scars, looking more and more horrified as he stared. Then, without warning, Logan's legs began to move, darting through the lounge where the four had been hanging out and straight through the hallway and up the stairs. Logan could hear Kendall crying out his name in shock, the heavy footsteps chasing him as he headed towards the porcelain white room that was known as the bathroom.
"Logie please wait! What's wrong? Why are you crying? Logan wait!" Kendall exclaimed, reaching out to try and grab his ex boyfriend's arm. Logan just ran faster before slamming the cream bathroom door behind him, the familiar sound of the lock turning and Logan's heart wrenching sobs echoing around Kendall's head.
Logan, however, wasn't in the right state of mind at all. His eyes darted around the bathroom cabinets, trying to find something, anything to get the wretched attachments off his back. Then, his tear stained eyes focused on something. The shiny silver object was blurred at first, Logan's vision obstructed by the tears that continued to gather at Carlos's innocent words. It wasn't fair, why him? Why had his Grandparents allowed the doctors to attach these wings onto his back, to experiment and test on their own Grandson? Did they not care for his health, both mentally and physically, at all? Logan didn't know, but right now, he didn't care. Quickly picking up the shining object in his trembling hand, Logan turned to the mirror so he could see his wings clearly, they twitched gently in anticipation, as if knowing what Logan was planning with the glimmering switch blade. Before the rational side of his brain could cause him to hesitate, or Kendall who still screamed at him to answer could break into the locked room, Logan began to slash and hack at the beautiful appendages. Ruby blood began to stain the feathers, coating Logan's hands and the white tiles below. The pain didn't even register in Logan's mind as he continued to tear apart the muscle and tendons, the same thought circling over and over in his fogged brain.
'They look so strange and unnatural. Get them off. Off now. They're so unnatural and strange. Off.'
Logan's vision began to darken, the floor beneath his socked feet drenched in the crimson life force. His mind lightly registered that Mrs Knight would probably never be able to get the stains out of the once white surface, but there wasn't much he could do about that as he slowly let himself drop to the floor, the bloodied knife tumbling from his pale white fingers with a light clatter and splash. Logan could hear Kendall yelling out to him, screaming his name in terror as the door finally crashed down, revealing the gruesome sight, but as the warm darkness embraced him, Logan couldn't care less.

"Logan!" Kendall screamed, dropping down next his badly bleeding friend. His trembling hands gently turned Logan onto his side, cringing when he saw Logan's face scrunch up in pain even though he was unconscious. His back was a mess. He had obviously been trying to cut his wings off, or do some damage to them. Kendall couldn't blame Carlos, but he wished that sometimes the kid would watch what he was saying. The wings themselves hadn't been too badly affected. There was a lot of plucked out feathers and a few deep cuts. His actual back was another matter entirely. It was like he had been stabbed multiple times, over and over. But Kendall knew he had done this to himself. The rational side of Kendall quickly took over again and he found some old towels and pressed them over the deepest wounds, shouting for anyone to come and help. And of course, they did. They all ran upstairs: James, Carlos, Katie and Mama Knight. But they weren't expecting to see the blood bath before them. Katie screamed for the first time in her life. James paled three shades lighter and didn't even care about using his Cuda products to sort it out. Carlos had to grab onto the doorframe to keep himself standing; why did he have to say that? And there was no mistaking the gasp that left Mama Knight's lips as she knelt down next to Logan, opposite her son.
"Logan? Logan, can you hear me?" she waited for the response that never came, the only sign of life being indicated from the harsh, ragged breaths that were making his way past his chapped lips. Logan's skin tone was grey. Grey, like all the warmth, all the life had been sucked out of his small body and bottled for selling.
"We need to get him to a hospital! Call 911!" James yelled as Katie quickly got the phone and typed in the three digits.
"No!" Kendall cried, stopping her from calling the number. "We can't take him their! He's got wings! They'll just treat him like some caged animal and experiment on him!" he reminded them of Logan's predicament. Their expressions dropped, crestfallen countenances replacing the hopeful smiles. After a long silence, Carlos whispered:
"We'll have to take him to the institute."
"WHAT?!" Kendall, James and Katie said in unison, not believing Carlos would suggest taking Logan to the very place that changed him so much, they practically destroyed him.
"No, I think Carlos has a point" Mama Knight put in. "They're the only other ones apart from Logan's grandparents that know about this. They know more than us and they're the only ones that can treat him. We'll have to take him."
"Mom" Kendall wavered. "I...I-I can't let him go back to the place that-that damaged him so much. I don't trust them, they harmed my Logie" his voice cracked at the end of the sentence as he looked down to the emotionless face of his lover. Mama Knight placed her hand on her sons shoulder, causing him to look back up. She had tears swimming in her eyes.
"Kendall, I don't want him to go back there too. It's the last thing I want. But if he doesn't...Kendall-he might not make it." Kendall thought as his mothers' words resounded in his ears. Logan dying was way worse than Logan not loving him. Silently, he nodded and helped James pick Logan up and bring him out to their car. Luckily, Kendall's mom had known that with Kendall always being as inseparable from James and Carlos as he was, also having Katie and then anyone else who might tag along, she had brought a big car. They laid Logan along the very back seats, Kendall, James and Carlos in front of him and Katie up front with her mom. Without another word, they sped off, hoping to get Logan help in time.

Kendall peered back at his still lover, emotions swirling and conflicting inside him as he rested his emerald eyes on the motionless body. It seemed so unnatural, seeing Logan so stationary and covered in blood, when he was usually so happy and full of life. However, conflicting this was the thought that Logan looked so peaceful, even with pain etched onto his features. Maybe it was better this way? Logan being taken away from all the pain and confusion he had suffered since the institute had first taken him in, warping and controlling his mind with their painful techniques. Kendall continued to focus his gaze on the pale, shivering boy until James elbowed him harshly in the side.
"Dude, snap out of it, what's going through your head?" He asked worriedly, glancing apologetically to Kendall's side as the blonde moodily rubbed it.
"I was just thinking," Began Kendall quietly, half not wanting to express the darker of his two feelings. "Maybe this is for the better? Logan dying, fading out of his world, he wouldn't be lost and confused in his own mind anymore. Maybe he'd be safer and happier. Maybe h-'' Kendall was cut off with a harsh slap around his face, his whole head being thrown to the side by the force behind it. Bewildered, Kendall looked for the offender, looking slightly shocked to see Katie, his younger sister, glaring at him with tears in her eyes from the seats before them, leaning over with her hand still slightly red from the strike.
"Don't you dare think like that, Kendall! Logan is like a brother to me, you all are, none of us are letting him die! Dying is the easy way out! Logan can overcome all what's happened to him and you know it! We have to save him, so sit down and shut up!"
James, Kendall and Carlos all just stared at the furious child in front of them, the blonde one of the three feeling slightly ashamed for his thoughts. Katie turned back towards the front of the car, her mother have apparently turned a blind eye towards her youngest hitting her big brother, but all three knew she had known exactly what was going on and agreed with Katie's actions. They all sat in silence now, the only sound being Logan's light, shuddering breaths.

They got their first glimpse at the place that had held Logan hostage about an hour later. It would have been longer, if Mama Knight hadn't of broken all the speed limits on their painstaking journey. Logan had woken up. Three times and counting. He wasn't with them either of those times. No, he had been off in a little dream land. One time he was talking to an imaginary person who was sitting in front of him, whilst another, he just laid deadly silent, staring into nothingness. The third had to be the worst. Logan had woken up again and just as he opened his mouth, getting their hopes up of him actually speaking to them, he screamed. Not just one, but many, pain filled screams erupted out of his mouth, each more gut-wrenching than the last. After that he had drifted back off into his unconscious state, still bleeding heavily out of his back. The building itself was downright depressing. Barely any windows, the ones that were present barred. It looked like they were treating the residents there like caged animals. They pulled up next to the large front door and hurriedly got the sick boy out of the car. Barging past the entrance, they were glad that there was no one else in the reception. More people knowing about Logan's current body features would not have been good.
"Please! Help!" Katie yelled at the workers standing around the reception. A few rushed over, remembering this boy from all those months ago.
"What happened? Why is he back with you?" a woman next to them asked. Kendall walked up to her, his height towering against hers.
"Listen, we don't want any trouble. We just want Logan to get help for his wounds. But, if you change him in any way or do anything at all to him...you're gonna pay. Trust me, you don't want to see me when I'm angry, especially when it's my little brother." His voice dropped, a menacing growl coming out. Kendall sounded more fierce than anyone had ever heard. The staff looked scared and were startled into action, placing Logan on an awaiting gurney and wheeling him down the halls. The family followed until they reached a medical wing. They placed Logan in a room that was isolated from the others and immediately hooked him up to strange machines that could definitely not be legal. They started to try and get the bleeding to stop, putting a tube into his right elbow which had a clear liquid running through and another on his left elbow, with substitute blood going in. Finally after an hour and a half, the bleeding had stopped and they were able to stitch him up. The parts of the wings that were damaged would heal and grow back, but had gauze on as well. They told them Logan would need to remain there for the next few days to monitor for risk of infection. Even though they had this reassurance, they were dreading the minute Logan woke up. What would his mental state be like? And most importantly...how would he react when he wakes up in the very place that tried to change him so much?

It was a whole 18 hours before Logan opened his beautiful brown eyes again, Kendall sat directly by his left side, gently but firmly gripping his smaller hand in both of his. The blonde's head lay uncomfortably on the edge of the thin mattress, his back bent in a strange position to accommodate the way he had fallen asleep. James lay on a smaller bed to the side of the room, Carlos nuzzled protectively into his side. The Latino's eyes were swollen and red from what Logan could see from his confined space on the bed, and James was always the first one he went to for a source of comfort. Directing his gaze back onto the blonde that lay beside him, it had appeared that Kendall had refused to move from his side, opting to rather cause himself pain than leave Logan alone.
And that was about the moment that Logan made the realization of where exactly he was.
The bright white ceiling, the matching walls, the sterile conditions, the less-than-legal machines attached to his arms and back, the windowless room and draining atmosphere, it all came rushing back to him. He was back at the institute, the place that had changed him, both mentally and physically, it had been them that had made him the monster he was, them who had caused him to forget all of those who truly loved him and cared for who he really was, not some angel who had been forced to become that. Logan began to fidget, panic coursing through his veins as his prickling skin became aware of the white leather restraints that pinned him down flat on the bed by his waist, ankles and wrists. The light panic began to grow, mutating and multiplying inside Logan's heart until it had taken over his whole being, just one command floating around his fear-stricken brain.
'I must escape.'

Kendall was awoken by the bed shaking below his crumpled form, small, panic filled gasps echoing from the white cushioned surface before him, more specifically from the brunette angel that lay there. His green eyes widened in shock, taking in the white-gray tone in which his lover's skin had taken on.
"Logan!" He exclaimed as he quickly straightened up, his back cracking and screaming in protest at the sudden movement after being cramped for so long. "Logan, Logie calm down! Please before you hurt yourself again! Calm down! Logan!" Tears were beginning to fill Kendall's eyes as he looked down, helpless, while continuing to grip Logan's hand in reassurance, gently rubbing the pad of his thumb against the soft skin on the back in a weak form of comfort. It was then that Logan began to scream.
"No! No get off me! I need to escape! I must escape! They'll hurt me again! Kendall! Kendall help me please! James! Katie! Carlos! HELP!" With each scream, each painful cry and plea for help, Kendall's heart cracked and broke a little bit more, unable to process his lover being in so much pain and fear while being unable to help. The screams had awoken his other two best friends from their slumber on the other side of the pure white room, James scrambling up to his feet to get over to them.
"What's happened?! Is Logie alright?! Is he hurt?!" James pleaded for answers, his voice growing higher in pitch with each question in pure panic. Kendall just replied with a quick shake of his head, Carlos once again bursting into tears as Logan continued to scream his best friends' name, pleading for help, for an escape from the cruel world in which Logan was trapped.

Logan struggled against his restraints even more, pulling and pushing at them. Kendall placed his hands gently on the boy's shoulders, panicked eyes finding his own soothing green ones.
"Logie, listen to me. Yesterday you had a...another break down. You tried to cut off your wings. Logan, your back was bleeding-a lot. Your wings were hurt too, not as bad. You would have died Logie. We had to bring you here, I'm sorry, but we had to" Kendall explained, his voice teary.
"It was all my fault" Carlos whispered. "I wasn't thinking. At all. It's actually really cool. I'm so sorry Logie, do you forgive me?" Carlos apologized, squinting his eyes shut at the barrels of hateful comments bound to come his way. When nothing came, he cautiously opened one eye, then the other.
"I forgive you Carlos." Those four words. 17 letters. Carlos flung his arms around Logan, being careful of his recent injuries.
"I would hug back, you know, if I wasn't tied down to the bed" Logan told him obviously annoyed.
"They just weren't sure how you would react when you woke up, if you would try to harm yourself again." James replied sympathetically.
"I've made sure they don't do anything, Logie, you're safe, you're with us." Kendall told him, caringly brushing his hair out of his eyes.

Logan's eyes slowly began to droop, the eyelids becoming heavy against his will to stay conscious and alert. A gentle confusion set in his mind, he couldn't have been awake more than 5, maybe 10 minutes, right? Why was he suddenly so sleepy and heavy?
"Logan? Logie are you alright?" Kendall's worried voice reached his ears, echoing slightly through the fog that had descended over him.
"Logie-bear? W-what's happening to him?" Carlos's childish, innocent voice sounded, although it sounded distant, as if reaching him from the opening of a long, dark tunnel whereas Logan was at the other end. The faces leaning above his stationary body were blurred and fogged over in front of his face, the only feature that helped Logan distinguish between the fuzzy faces being the hair and eye colour, which had always stood out to him, the blonde and green of Kendall, the chestnut brown and hazel of James, and finally the dark brown and chocolate that Carlos possessed. Logan's mind weakly registered that they were all so... so beautiful, although his heart would always be drawn to the golden blonde of the group.
Kendall's heart was jumping leaps and bounds in his chest, pounding painfully as panic once again ran through him like ice in his veins. Logan's eyes had grown glassy, the boy himself completely unresponsive to the small shakes that all three boys present had been giving his shoulders.
"Something's wrong, this isn't right! It's like he's been..." Then it dawned on Kendall, his angry green eyes focusing on the machine that attached itself to the inside crook of Logan's right elbow. "They...they've drugged him! Guys they're drugging Logan! Help me get these wires out of him!"
Carlos and James jumped into action immediately, working on figuring out how to turn off the machine that had been filled with a clear liquid that looked similar to water. It was unfamiliar to the three boys, then again, who knew if the drug was even legal, or hell, even existed in the world outside this institute!
Once Carlos had figured out how to turn the dreaded machine off, and James had quickly pulled the thin wire from Logan's arm, not being shy about tearing off the sticky dressing that had held the IV in place with a quick tug, much like getting a band-aid off quickly to get it over with. Logan groaned lightly in pain as the wire was fed out of his vein, but the boys were just proud that they had gotten some sort of reaction from the poor, drugged boy.

Kendall, James and Carlos watched as Logan looked around the room and at them. His pupils were still glassy, although now they were blown wide, massive compared to their normal size. There was no mistaking the fact that Logan had indeed been drugged. But what with? The boys didn't know if it was simply some sort of weird pain relief or if the substance was far more lethal, only used for sinister intentions. Intentions like the ones of the people who had tried to change him in the first place; were they trying to make him forget again? The boy in the bed brought his hands up in front of him, staring in some sort of sick amazement. He grabbed Kendall's hand and inspected that as well, turning it over. He wasn't acting right at all. Logan looked back up at them, but he wasn't actually looking at them. More like through them. His lips pulled into a dopey smile and he started humming a familiar tune, but the three couldn't place it. Logan seemed to be quite happy in his own little world, his drug induced world. Suddenly, all happiness was drawn from Logan's face and a look of sheer terror formed. He hastily backed up into the furthest corner of his bed, pulling his knees up to his chest. His breathing was rapid with panic.
"No! D-don't let it hurt me! Don't let it get me! Stop!" he cried, pointing to an imaginary thing that was apparently standing over to the side. Kendall, James and Carlos didn't know what to do. Was Logan aware of them? How could they help?
"Please, stop! Ahhh, no! Stop!" Logan continued to yell, his breaths accelerating even more. The harsh intake of air made him choke which turned into powerful gags. The gagging led to him violently expelling the contents of his stomach all over himself.
"Logan!" Carlos cried shocked. The three rushed towards him, but Logan wasn't fazed at the vomit dribbling down his chin, or the remnants left on his body. Instead, he quickly climbed out of bed, stumbling as his legs got used to being used again and pulling all the remaining wires out of his body with a harsh snap. He backed into the wall nearest to him and flung his arms around his torso.
"No! I-I didn't mean it! I don't want them taken away! I didn't mean it!" Logan shrieked at the 'person' in front of him.
"Logan, what do you mean? What are they trying to take away from you?" Kendall asked in a soft voice, not daring to touch the young boy in case it made things worse.
"I didn't mean it! I wasn't thinking! Just don't take them! Don't cut them off!" Logan screamed again, crystal tears falling down his face.
"Don't cut what off, Logan? What are you talking about?" James tried. Logan hugged himself tighter, both of his arms moving around to clutch his back, to clutch his...
"Please! Don't take my wings!" he sobbed hysterically. Logan's legs suddenly gave out and he slid down the wall, lying on the floor in the foetal position, but with his arms still on the healing, feathery features. His cries quietened and his breaths evened out until he was breathing normally again. He slowly looked up at them, looking exhausted and pale.
"G-g-guys?" he asked in a whisper.

So how was that? We hope you liked it! We're gonna start chapter 8 now! We're really loving how this is turning out! We hope you are too! Stay tuned for the next chapter which will hopefully be uploaded next week or something like that. Remember, reviews are golden and keep us going! So please do review!

Thanks,

~swagUPwindowsDOWN & Lunachu :) x