A.N. Thanks for the inspiration. This chapter was based on a review (you know who you are).

Yachiru wandered around the 11th Division barracks, happily lost in thought. At least, this is what she thought she was doing. In reality, she was running around shrieking like a two-year-old on a sugar high biting random peoples' heads while munching on candy. So naturally, she wouldn't think of throwing the wrappers away.

Never mind that it pissed the 4th off more than anything else to try and clean all the wrappers, every day, across the entire division, while simultaneously trying to keep everything else under control. Food didn't cook itself. At least not yet. He heard that the 12th Division was working on that problem, but he had small hopes for anything that was captained by Kurotsuchi. More than likely, the device would turn anything it cooked into some kind of sentient being which would then go on rampage. But at least Kurotsuchi would have another test subject.

He had reached his limit. The endless amounts of Hershey's, M&M's, MARS Bars, and many, many more tons of candy than any human being should be able to physically consume, had reached his last nerve.

He was really feeling like just killing everyone in the division and being done with it all.

Instead, he wrapped those feelings in a box, and shoved that box into the 'Do Not Enter' space of his mind. He was going to need to enlarge that place soon, it was getting cramped. Again.

He went to the message board while everyone was asleep, and posted a calm, respectful request for Yachiru to please throw away her wrappers.

'Lieutenant Yachiru of the 11th, it is with the utmost respect that I, the 4th seat, request that you use the properly labeled containers when you dispose of your wrappers. It has become an annoyance.'

The message was promptly ignored the following morning. In fact, there were more wrappers than usual. The only person to pay any attention to it was Ikkaku, and only because he wanted to know when it was posted so he could challenge the 4th to a fight. Which was exactly why he had posted it when everyone was asleep.

It was time for drastic action. So, he posted a slightly less respectful message.

'To Lieutenant Yachiru, a.k.a the pink-haired brat, use the goddamn trash cans for your motherfucking wrappers. I have had enough of waking up every fucking morning to see that the damn floor has been redecorated by your shit. The 4th Seat, you bitch. Remember who it is who cooks your food.'

Needless to say, the message was met with a mixed reply. On one hand, he now had two seated officers who wanted to kill him, but on the other, people now knew who it was that cooked, cleaned, and did the paperwork. Most people thought it was suicide to attack anyone with that much energy, and everyone else decided that they liked having a hot meal and clean clothes. Yumichika just wondered how anyone with such an ugly number could be so good at cleaning. He even did his special silk sheets just right. And the food was simply fabulous~.

Seeing as this message had failed, the 4th decided to call out the heavy equipment. There was a certain advantage to doing all the paperwork, and this included access to just about every form he might need. All he needed was to wait until Kenpachi was drunk enough to sign whatever was in front of his face, which was every night, and then send it in to be finalized.

The following week, he grinned to himself. No more wrappers, no more candy crumbs, and Yachiru wasn't bouncing off the walls as much as before. Instead, she had taken to wandering around the Soul Society (A.N I forgot how to spell the name, okay?) bouncing off the buildings and biting random passerby while munching on candy. Now she only was crazy when she got back after a sugar rush, and then it was confined to her quarters. It was so much easier to clean when footprints were on the floor, as opposed to the wall and ceiling. His idea to get candy banned in the 11th Division was working perfectly. And as a bonus, other people got to deal with Yachiru's sugar-induced hyperactivity, combined with her childish mind.

He wondered if that might come back to bite him later, but dismissed the thought. After all, if he didn't finish these toilets, he wouldn't be there to take the souffle out before it burned.

One more week later, he had that thought, and realized that his plan might have needed some fine-tuning. He had simply been thankful that other people were dealing with Yachiru. He forgot that this meant that other people were dealing with Yachiru. It really had surprised him when a new law was passed banning the sale of anything containing sugar to her.

And now, he had to deal with the problem. A hyperactive Yachiru was much better than a grumpy Yachiru. Everyone had quickly realized exactly why Yachiru was the Lieutenant. He inwardly winced. It had taken him hours to clean after that mess the fight left, and he had been cleaning after fights for so long he could do it in minutes.

He hadn't known that you could stain concrete. Especially not with blood.

He decided that the best way to fix the problem he had caused was to do something he had sworn he would never do. He had to give Yachiru her sugar back. So he set up a meeting with her via the message boards, arranging for her to meet at the kitchen after dark. He then donned a disguise that would fool Yachiru, a fake mustache, and went to meet her.

Yachiru saw him and moved to pounce.

"WAIT! I don't have any sugar! But I can get you it." He said in a voice he probably thought was mysterious and enticing. It came out more hoarse and gruff, but that was mainly because no one had spoken to him in fifty years.

Yachiru stopped and listened to what he had to offer.

"I can leave a bucket of candy in your room when I clean it. I can do this every night, on one condition."

"Anything." She replied in a desperate, but still vomit-inducingly cute voice.

"Throw your wrappers in the trash."

"Deal."

And so, Yachiru got her regular fix of sugar, and the 4th no longer had to deal with wrappers. The 11th Division knew who it was that truly controlled the barracks, Yumichika still wondered how anyone on the 4th seat could get his silk sheets so soft, and Ikkaku continued to search for him to fight. But from then on, he was secretly called the all-powerful janitor.