A.N. Alright! Nearly 2,000 words! Longest one yet. So, how many have reviewed so far? I'd check, but I'm pretty sure I'd just disappoint myself. So please just leave one little review when you finish. I beg of you. Also, some inspiration from the reviews, you know who you are and what was inspired. The reviews give me a ton of ideas. I have set up a poll, if you want to vote for what comes next. If you select other, pm me and I will make your idea an option.

Day 2

It was a beautiful morning in the Soul Society. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the 11th Division had figured out how the washing machine worked, and Yumichika was looking around the kitchen, thinking about what to do for breakfast.

He found a strange box, lying in a corner covered in dust, with a note on it saying 'Do Not Open'. Sadly, the note was too old to be legible, and he opened it anyhow, confused when he saw another box inside. This one was made from some metal and glass, and had a series of buttons on one side. He saw an instruction booklet and burned it. This was the 11th Division, after all. Instructions were for weaklings!

Several Years Ago

The 4th was having an unusual morning. He had found a package sitting in the Captain's office, with a letter stating that the 12th Division had created some sort of all-purpose food cooking unit, based off of a 'microwave', whatever that was.

'An all-purpose cooking device...so tempting. But remember the words of a wise man: 'If the 12 Division touched it, throw it in the garbage with a pair of tongs. Wait, just to be on the safe side, put it in a corner in case it blows up on impact-OH SHIT-'. I miss him. Well, best just put it in a corner. Where is that 10-foot pole the 4th Division uses to knock?'

Present Day

"Well, this ought to be very useful! I guess I can make some fresh bread with it!" Yumichika exclaimed, though he had no idea what the device was, or how it worked. He just assumed that if it was in the kitchen, it could be used for cooking. Throwing together some fresh dough, made of the random materials lying around, (including, but not limited to: Rotten eggs, fresh eggs, a live chicken, several species of trout, a potted plant, an octopus, the mushrooms growing in the bathroom, turtle hearts, and some glowing rocks he found by the fence next to the 12th Division) he put half in the box to cook, and left the other half in a bowl next to it. He left to let it cook while he did his makeup.

The rest of the Division wasn't sure what to do with all the (now dead) bodies in the courtyard, and for the first time in history, the daily brawl was canceled due to too many people slipping on intestines, getting eyeballs stuck between their toes, and the occasional exploding body. Someone eventually suggested they throw them over the fence into the 12th Division, and everyone thought it made some kind of sense, so they did that.

Mayuri walked out to see a pile of fresh corpses in his back yard. Looking around to see if anyone was there (there wasn't), he jumped on the bodies, screamed "Mine!" and dragged them into his lab.

Zaraki walked to his office to do the daily paperwork. The only problem being he hadn't needed to be in his office since the 4th Seat started doing the paperwork, and he had sort of forgotten where it was. Fortunately, there was a map of the division barracks posted on the wall by the entrance, so this problem was quickly rectified. He walked in, grabbed the first piece of paper, and started to read it.

He continued to read it until Yachiru walked in saw what he was doing, and asked him why he was staring at a piece of paper.

"I'm reading the paperwork. This is the first piece." He answered, gesturing to the pile in front of him.

"But you've been in here since nine in the morning." Yachiru replied.

"And?" he responded.

"It's past noon!" Yachiru gestured to the clock. "And I don't wanna eat Yumi-chan's cooking, so take me somewhere else to eat, cause I'm hungry!" She whined.

Kenpachi agreed with his Lieutenant. Yumichika's food could best be described as being 'Better than Rangiku's' and worst described as 'Somehow edible.' He chuckled at her nickname for the man. No matter what he did, Yachiru was convinced that Yumichika was a girl. He was slightly worried, however, that he had been reading for three hours and hadn't finished the first page.

'Maybe I should get someone to do it for me. I'll have to make it seem as if there's some sort of 'tough guy' reason, I have a reputation to think of. Don't want anyone to think I'm a sissy.' He mused as he took Yachiru to a nearby restaurant/bar.

Meanwhile, the 'dough', for lack of a better word, swelled up inside the microwave until it reached the edges. From then on it began to brown, and actually resembled a large loaf of slightly burnt bread.

It's counterpart in the bowl was subjected to massive amounts of radiation let of by the microwave, and crawled out of the bowl to find something more comfortable to live in. It ate several rats and roaches on the way, slightly expanding in size.

Yumichika walked in, saw the bread-like thing in the microwave, and sliced it up for breakfast. Best of all, it was already toasted and buttered inside! (It was actually just a side effect of the random ingredients, and still being slightly runny inside.) He didn't even notice the missing half.

The 11th division men took this next meal to be a test of their courage as the scarfed it down.

Yes, they could have gone somewhere else with good food just as easily, but ate that crap instead because of their egos. I'd say that was retarded, but this is the 11th Division here. Not exactly the brain trust.

As they explained to Ichigo why they were here the following morning, Ichigo gradually seemed to calm down about the surprise. He thought for a few minutes, quite a feat when you have the mentality of an average 11th Division cannon fodder, and finally asked about the points that most bothered him.

"How did you all fit in my closet?" He asked. (He completely ignores the 'Snuck into your house, Here to take care of the increase in Hollows caused by you' thing.)

"It's surprisingly roomy in there. We all had quite a good nap." Kiyone replied.

"There's a full-size b-bed in there, and a mini-fridge." Hanatarou added.

"Huh?" Ichigo was confused. Since when had his closet been big enough to fit all that? He glared at Rukia, who was now whistling 'innocently'.

"What?" Rukia asked, noticing his glare.

"Since when has my closet been a small room?" He asked.

"Umm..." Rukia searched for a good answer.

Flashback

"Hey, Urahara!"

"Yeah. What is it Rukia? Need some more soul-candy?"

"Actually, I was wondering if you could do anything to make Ichigo's closet bigger. I mean, it's big enough to sleep in, but it's kind-of cramped."

"Well sure, just ask Ichigo what time is good for me to come over and-"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure that Ichigo doesn't want you anywhere near his house. So come by when we're out Hollow-hunting. And make sure that the family doesn't notice you, alright?"

"No problem. I still don't see why you don't just sleep with Ichigo, you already moved in-"

Rukia punched him in the face. Hard. And then performed a hado that set his clothes on fire.

End Flashback

"Umm...It's always been like that?" Rukia replied weakly.

"Right." Ichigo replied, clearly not buying it. He figured it wasn't that important anyway.

"So, why is my house so clean? It's spotless. You didn't do this, did you Hanatarou?" Ichigo continued.

"N-Not at all! I went right to sleep because it was so late! I'm sorry that I didn't even think of cleaning, how rude of me, I-"

"Well, if you didn't clean it, who did? It's pretty nice." Ichigo interrupted.

'Butler' raised his hand.

"Oh. Well, thanks. Who are you?" Ichigo replied.

'Butler' looked a little shocked. Nobody had asked him that since he entered the 11th. He tried to remember the answer when Kiyone answered for him.

"He's the 4th Seat of the 11th. Everyone just calls him 'Butler', because no one remembers his real name, and he doesn't like to talk. In fact, he went so unnoticed that everyone outside of his division forgot that there was supposed to be someone that rank, only the seated officers in his division knew there was one, and Kenpachi was the only person who knew who it was, and even he had forgotten his name." She responded.

"The 4th Seat..." Ichigo thought about that for a moment. He had been doing a lot more of that lately, and it was starting to hurt. His head snapped up. "Wanna spar?" he asked, looking excited.

"He also doesn't fight unless it's necessary, or he's really pissed. Also, I wouldn't recommend it. I heard he only go to be 4th seat because he defeated everyone else in his division except for the Captain, Lieutenant, 3rd and 5th seats, and only then because they weren't there at the time." Kiyone responded for 'Butler'. Hanatarou slid over until Kiyone was between him and 'Butler'.

"Oh. That sucks. I thought he might be a good partner." Ichigo replied, disappointed. "Alright, but why is he holding a mop and a bucket?" He asked, just now noticing.

"That's his shikai." Kiyone answered.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAH!" Ichigo laughed long and hard. "Okay, good one. But really, why?"

The three soul reapers stared. Kiyone stared at Ichigo, not sure what to say, Hanatarou stared at 'Butler' waiting to see if he would go berserk, and 'Butler' kind of just stared into space before he snapped back and just stood up. He took the mop and somehow, without using words, had it grab Ichigo's head with the fiberous end and pull it into the bucket, giving him the rough equivalent of a swirly.

Except that the water in the bucket contains the accumulated dirt and grime of 200+ years of cleaning, and was thoroughly acidic at this point. Suffice to say that Ichigo got the point as it burned away at his flesh. He pulled his head out and tried to attack 'Butler' who easily dodged until Ichigo calmed down.

"WHAT THE HELL IS IN THAT THING?!" Ichigo yelled at him as he washed off his face under the sink.

"That would be the same bucket he uses when he mops the 11th Division. I guess it steadily absorbed the negative atmosphere, or maybe just the blood and dirt, until it became toxic." Kiyone guessed.

"Or maybe that's how he attacks." Hanatarou added.

After a few more deep breathing exercises (Rukia had been trying to get him to get a leash on his temper) he continued. "I thought that the 4th Division did all the cleaning."

"We did, but we stopped cleaning the 11th after our members stopped coming back." Hanatarou replied.

Rukia's pager went off, indicating a Hollow. For more simple explanations, go to 1-800-OBV-IOUS for a free trial today!

"Alright! Finally, some action!" Ichigo yelled, excited after the previous night of disappointment.

"We'll come with you!" Kiyone yelled as well, not wanting to be outdone.

They all jumped out the window, except for Hanatarou who tripped over the sill, fell two stories, realized that he had forgotten his zanpakuto, went back for it, jumped out the window, tripped again, but then just kept going.

Karin poked her head through the door. "Why does he think that we don't hear him?" She then went downstairs to eat some of the food that one of their guests had evidently prepared overnight.