Callie flopped down on the bottom bunk with a heavy sigh. It was only their first day and she was already exhausted. Their first patient had been a young boy, probably no older than 7, who had dislocated his shoulder by falling out of a tree. She had easily popped in back in place and fitted him with one of the slings from the stock in the clinic. The rest of the day was spent laying out plans with the builders and contacting Melissa about extra supplies for the expanded room. No matter how tired she was, though, she couldn't help but grin at the memory of that ridiculously simple case – something she would have made an intern handle back at Seattle Grace. His smile and the one armed hug she received made the textbook procedure seem like something worthy of a Harper Avery.
The only thing she had to complain about was keeping her hands to herself. It was a constant effort to put up a facade of pure professionalism around Arizona. Sure, they kept things on the down-low at work back in Seattle, but things were different here. They couldn't brush finger tips or lean in too closely or smile too lovingly… every little gesture they indulged in back home that kept them going throughout the day was asking for trouble. It was slowly killing her and it was only day one.
Hopefully, overseeing the construction of the clinic would give her something to channel her energy into. It would also give them some time apart during the day to ward off temptation – that had been Arizona's idea. The workers seemed nice enough, though they didn't speak a lick of English with the exception of one man who knew just a smidgen. Apparently he had picked up on some helpful phrases by spending years in his father's cab while he shuttled mainly American and English tourists around. Callie made a mental note to ask Melissa Jones for an English-Chichewa dictionary. This was going to get ridiculous fast. Azibo had been a gracious translator, though, and having at least one worker somewhat understand her would make life easier.
That was something to dwell on later. Now, she was 'home' and the slight dip in the mattress she laid on reminded her exactly why thinking about work could wait. She cracked open one eye and smiled at the beautiful sight of her favorite blonde hovering over her. A gentle hand swept the ebony hair off her forehead and lingered, tracing patterns against the side of her face. It was such a familiar gesture, such a small tribute to their affection for one another, but after an entire day of forcing themselves away from one another, it was enough to send Callie's heart racing.
"I missed you," Arizona whispered before leaning forward and brushing their lips together.
Callie moaned softly at the contact, tangling her hands in silky, blonde locks. She pulled Arizona to her causing the older surgeon to lose her balance, but her lover blindly caught her shoulder and slowly brought her down on top of her prone form. They stayed like that for a while, melded together, lips battling for dominance, hands roaming, legs entwined, and hips gently rocking in unison. Arizona twisted her lower body just a fraction, but it was enough to cause the Latina to break the kiss.
"Not yet," she gasped against pale lips. "We can't."
Arizona let out a frustrated whine. "Calliope…"
She laughed, pecking at her girlfriends lips. "I said not yet, I didn't say never. Anyone could just walk by and see what we're doing through the cracks in the door. Just… wait until the sun goes down."
The PEDs surgeon sighed, pressing her lips to Callie's in one last kiss before rolling off her and standing up. "You make me feel like I'm in high school, sneaking around in the dark so my parents don't see."
The Latina laughed as she sat up on the mattress, running a hand through her tousled hair. "Hey, I'm not the one who dragged us to a country that kills gay people."
Arizona's expression shattered.
"Oh my God, that was stupid. Arizona, I'm –"
"Don't." She turned away, biting her lip to keep the tears at bay.
Callie was behind her in a flash, hands gripping at her forearms and dragging her back against her warm chest. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean it like that. I'm an idiot when it comes to making jokes."
The blonde sighed as she leaned her head back against her girlfriend's shoulder. "I just don't want you to end up hating me for this."
She pressed her lips gently against the proffered pale skin of her neck. "I don't and I never will, Arizona. I love you now and forever."
A dimpled smile graced her face as she turned her head, pressing her lips against Callie's in a brief, fleeting moment of passion. "I love you, too. Moron."
She nuzzled her girlfriend's pale cheek, inhaling the sweet scent that lulled her to sleep every night. Even surround by hate and a judgmental society, she still felt as if she was in Heaven. None of it matter as long as this perky, happy-go-lucky woman was resting in her arms, heart beating, lungs breathing, and a dimpled smile on her face. That was the feeling she kept telling herself to hold onto.
"Come lay down with me."
Arizona shook her head. "No, I won't be able to control myself if I do that. Let's go for a walk."
The Latina grimaced. "A walk? We've been on our feet all day and you want to go out in the heat and walk?"
She laughed at her overly dramatic lover, turning in her arms so she could silence her ramble with a chaste kiss. "There's a pretty secluded lake on the outskirts of the village. We could go over there and just enjoy the quiet for a bit until it's safe to be alone where there's a bed."
"Deal!" Callie quickly let the blonde go and stripped off her scrub top.
"That's not what I meant!"
"Dweeb," The Latina couldn't help but laugh at the woman's bright red face. "If we're going for a walk, I'm not doing it in scrubs. I want shorts and flip-flops."
"And no top?" The smug smirk on older surgeon's face was priceless.
"Really, Arizona?"
"Hey, a girl can dream."
They quickly changed into cooler clothes, shedding the stress of their first day with each article of clothing they removed. That was one of the wonderful things about having a uniform at work – once it came off they could ignore whatever stressful surgeries or heartbreaking patients that had had to deal with during the day. Putting their scrubs away was like shutting the door, closing up shop, and putting away the key until the sun came up again. They both had a feeling they would need that more than ever for the next three years.
In a matter of minutes, they were outside walking in silence toward the body of water Arizona had mentioned before. It wasn't a grand lake by any means, but it was better than nothing. They sat in the dirt with their feet cooling in the shallow waters, the lake being only deep enough to come up to their ankles at the edge, and just enjoyed the quiet reprieve from their day at the clinic. They could see children playing in the distance, women weaving baskets, hanging clothes, grinding corn, and men fashioning spears. The village carried on under their watchful gaze, uninterrupted by the scrutiny of the two outsiders they had invited.
In that moment, they forgot the hardship that lay before them. They let the burden of hiding their feelings for one another drop to the bottom of the water as they relished the calm that overtook them simply by being next to one another. They had been together for two years and yet it still took Arizona's breath away to realize just how connected she felt to the other woman. No one else had found the place in her heart that Callie had so gracefully claimed as her own. Anyone else she would have quickly left behind. Anyone else would have never been invited to travel the world with her. Anyone else would have been left in the airport as she walked away… but that's because no one else had ever loved her enough to say yes, to give up everything just so they could stay together and she could have her dream.
"I thought about going without you."
Callie looked at her, a silent curiosity clouding her eyes as she waited for an explanation.
Arizona lazily kicked her feet in the water, too nervous to meet the woman's gaze. "When I thought about everything you were giving up, I just felt so guilty. You were leaving a job you loved, giving away maybe your one shot at taking Chang's spot as the head of your department. You were leaving your friends behind, going across the world where you would hardly have any opportunity to talk to Mark or Bailey or Cristina for three years. You were giving up your family… again… and you were shelving your research and – "
"Hey," Callie's stern voice caught the attention of wide blue eyes. "I chose to come with you. I chose to give up all of that because none of it matters as much as you do. My job will still be there when I get back – you heard Melissa, the Chief still plans to promote me and having this on my resume doesn't hurt. Our friends aren't going anywhere and my family? They get it. It's not like I haven't run away to Africa before. You didn't make me do this, Arizona. I wanted to do it. Maybe I didn't at first and I was scared about what this whole experience would mean, but I told you, I couldn't hold you back from this."
The blonde sighed, her eyes remaining locked with Callie's. "You could have said no to coming with me."
"No, I couldn't have." The Latina smiled brightly. "I let you go once – I'm not dumb enough to do that again."
Arizona dropped her voice to a barely heard whisper. "I really want to kiss you right now."
"I know…" Callie quickly surveyed their surroundings, finding not a single eye batting in their direction. She reached out, squeezing Arizona's hand lovingly before pulling back. "I would have kicked your ass if you had left me in that airport."
"I'm really glad I didn't… I like my ass."
She snorted, falling back on her elbows as she savored the sweet, playful banter they could indulge in so far away from the watchful gaze of the village. Arizona had a talent for lightening up a serious situation even if she had been the one to start the somber conversation in the first place – it was one of the many things Callie loved about her.
"For the record, I really like your ass, too."
Arizona swatted at her thigh, shaking her head in laughter until her eyes caught the sight of Callie's feet. "Oh gross!"
"What?" The Latina sat up only to notice the grimy dirt covering both of them below the ankle. "Ew! Is this seriously where they get their drinking water from?"
The PEDs surgeon looked around briefly, seeing no other body of water in the vicinity. "I assume so… there's nothing else, which means we'll be washing surgical tools in dirt."
Callie abruptly stood up, helping Arizona to her feet. "Like Hell we will… come on, we need to get a message out to Melissa."
It took three weeks, but the supplies for the water filter finally arrived. In that time, Callie and Arizona had developed a routine. They stayed apart in the mornings, Callie overseeing the construction while Arizona maintained the clinic. They ate lunch with Azibo either outside the clinic or at one of their huts and then began their training sessions with the volunteers as they tended to patients until the sun began to set. At night, they would either eat dinner with the tribe if it was offered or would retire to their hut for a quiet meal. Hours of passionate embrace would follow on the nights the village slept, but they relegated themselves to simply holding one another on the nights they knew they were not entirely away from the watchful eyes of their community. It wasn't ideal, but they were growing accustom to it and so far it seemed to be working quite well. They were seen as a dream team of doctors, their obvious chemistry attributed to their individual talent for medicine.
Azibo rushed into the clinic and quickly spotted Callie cleaning the wound of a teenage boy who had skinned his knees playing soccer. Meeting his eyes, she quickly caught on and signaled for one of the volunteers she had been showing around to take over. She paused for a moment, looking back at the patient she was leaving. For a fraction of a second, she thought of going back, finishing the job, and making sure the boy was treated correctly, but she stopped herself. In three years, these volunteers would be running the clinic without her – she couldn't be so paranoid about their skills that she would opt to set a simple bandage herself.
Azibo noticed her trepidation and placed a calming hand on her shoulder, silently asking her to walk away. Once they were outside the clinic, they were greeted by the screeching of worn tires. Callie shielded her eyes from the glare of the burning afternoon sun, but even in her semi-blind state, she recognized the car. It has a car she has seen not too long ago.
"Ni kwamba wote wa nini?" (Is that all of it?) Her companion approached the man exiting the vehicle.
The driver frowned. "Ndiyo, mimi tayari waambieni kwamba. Sasa tu kuchukua na basi mimi kuondoka." (Yes, I already told you that. Now just take it and let me leave.)
Azibo took a step back, fixing the tall man with a questioning stare. "Nini mbaya, rafiki yangu?" (Why so harsh, my friend?)
Dark, angered eyes dug daggers into Callie's skin for a brief, fleeting moment. "Wewe kukaribisha shetani katika kijiji yako. Mimi sipendi kukaa." (You invite the devil into your village. I wish not to stay.)
Callie didn't need to understand the language to know she was being talked about. What alarmed her was the man's tone and the disgruntled expression that had not left his face since he first noticed her outside the clinic. What could he possibly have against her? Was it her color? The fact that she was female? She had only met him once before when he drove them… No! No no no, we didn't do anything! She did her best to swallow her panic as she replayed every action she could remember taking during their cab ride into the village. Had he found them out? Was he telling Azibo? Run, idiot! No! Don't be dumb – they'll catch you! You suck at running!
"Callie, where shall I put these?"
Azibo's calm voice broke her from her revere and it was only then that she realized the angered conversation had ceased. A moment later, the sound of squealing tires made her cringe as the hostile driver left them behind in a cloud of dirt and dust. Her panic began to return as each second ticked away. Did he know? Was Azibo just putting up a polite mask before he let the cat out of the bag and revealed them to the whole village? His smile seemed genuine, but could she trust it?
Sighing, the Latina decided playing along was the safest bet to avoid suspicion. "Let's move it a bit closer to the lake so it's not so hard to carry the water over."
Bit by bit, they carried the stand, spigot, filter, funnel, hose, and flat of empty bottles that she had asked Melissa to buy. It was a crude way of producing fresh water, but clearing out just small amount of the particulates in the lake water would do the villages a world of good and keep the clinic as clean as possible. In that moment, Callie decided that if this alone was her only contribution, if she and Arizona were only hours away from being discovered, she could live with having left the innocent of the area with clean water.
"How often should we replace the filter?"
She looked up for a brief moment as she hammered the stand to hold the filter into the ground. "You'll notice the water become cloudier than normal. I'll show you how to take it apart pretty easily and we can store the replacement filters in the clinic."
Azibo smiled at her and handed her a small towel to wipe the sweat from her brow. They worked together in silence until the filtration device was standing on its own. With a proud huff, Callie handed her building partner the bucket next to her feet.
"Care to do the honors?"
The Malawian quickly took off for the lake and Callie took a minute to compose herself, swallowing her fear of what the man potentially knew before he returned. For all I know, they were talking about how long the drive is – I can't just assume they know about us. Stop being so paranoid, Callie, and focus! Make water! But what if…
Azibo was at her side moments later with an infectious grin on his face. "Just pour?"
"Yup!" She surprised herself with the genuine excitement that filled her voice. "Just let me put the hose into one of these water bottles and careful not to overflow the funnel."
The man did as he was told and watched with utter amazement as the system Callie had built quickly filled the bottle with clear, enticing water. It was a simple miracle, but one he knew his entire tribe would not soon forget. He clamped his hand down on the woman's shoulder, waiting until her eyes met his before he spoke.
"I am so thankful that your partner chose to bring you with her. She is the heart of the clinic, but you are truly the hands."
Partner?
"Callie! Azibo!" A familiar voice filled their ears. "Oh wow! It works?"
Azibo laughed heartily, handing her the filled bottle. "Indeed it does – have a sip!"
Arizona took a quick taste, grimacing a bit at the slightly bitter flavor, but her smile quickly recovered. "Hey, it's way better than it was before. Good going, Callie!"
The Latina grinned nervously as her girlfriend wrapped one arm around her in a brief, platonic squeeze. It was a gesture they indulged in often, but today it felt like it was a gigantic sign screaming out about their deception. She moved out of the touch and did her best to avoid seeing the flash of hurt she knew would be gracing those beautiful blue eyes.
"My friends, this is a great day! I will make the announcement to the village and tonight, we celebrate!"
She could hear the sound of his retreating steps and knew it was only a matter of moments before Arizona would corner her. They were secluded, away from the watchful gaze of the village, and now they were alone. She couldn't hide, but she couldn't stay… she couldn't be around Arizona, not when she felt like every move he made toward the blonde was a step closer to burning everything they were working toward to the ground. She had to clear her head, forget her paranoia… she needed time.
"Calliope…"
A warm hand brushed against her arm. "Don't, Arizona. Not today."
The PEDs surgeon withdrew as if she had been stung, her heart starting to break at the string of rejection Callie was sending her way. She had been fine this morning. They had eaten breakfast and shared a longing kiss before starting their day and now? She had only been with Azibo for a few hours and suddenly couldn't stand to be around her own girlfriend? What on Earth happened?
"Callie, talk to me. Did something happen? Are you feeling okay?" She took a cautious step toward the woman before her.
"I just can't..."
Arizona was left in the wake of her quickly retreating shadow, chilled to the bone by a non-existent wind. All she could do was helplessly watch the woman she loved leave her in the dust and though a part of her knew Callie was only retreating into the village, part of her wondered just how far the Latina was actually drifting away from her.
A/N: To avoid being accused of being culturally inept, I will admit that the language I've included here is NOT Chichewa, the native language of Malawi. There is no direct translation between it and English, so I've coped out and used Swahili. Next chapter will focus a bit more on Arizona and her work in the clinic, but I'm not sure when I'll get around to writing it. I'll be back to taking classes in a couple weeks so my free time will be scarce between that and working in my research lab. I feel like most of the people who were reading this story have kinda gone "poof", so my motivation isn't particularly high, but I'll keep writing for those of you who are still with me :).