Sorry if this chapter is stupid. I just wanna see if I can make Maria and the blues Brothers have a stupid side to them since I know everyone has one.
The cop offered to drive the trio back to downtown Las Vegas, so Maria decided to ride in the back with the guys. When sat down, Jake ruffled her hair playfully.
"I'm buying you a drink tonight!" Jake told her "You deserve it!"
"That was amazing!" Elwood said to her happily "Your a lifesafer!"
He pulled her into a rough kiss and Jake watches them, impressed
"All right!" Jake cheered at them.
Elwood broke the kiss and Maria blinked a few times, still in a bit of a daze from the kiss' intencity
"Wow" she said hoarsely with a stupid grin on her face.
"Well miss, I'd buy you a drink myself" The cop told her "but I gotta get back to work"
"No problem" she reponded "Thanks for letting me borrow the car"
"I knida had no choice. You just took it" The cop mumbled
"I heard that"
"I have to warn to guys" the cop warned "If you guys are gonna go out drinking, dont drive please"
"We dont even have a car here." Elwood told him "So we wont be speeding and crashing anymore"
"You mean Maria wont be speeding and crashing anymore" Jake corrected
"oh uh...Yes. I stand corrected."
A few minutes later of smooth driving, The cop dropped them off in front of Treasure Island, a pirate themed hotel.
"Thanks for the ride!" Maria called out as she waved and got out of the car "and not arresting me for speeding"
"No problem!" the cop called out as he drove off into the strip.
"So what do we do now?" Elwood asked as he checked his watch. "it's only 6:30"
"Let's go celebrate being alive from our near death experience." Jake excliamed
when the trio arrived inside the flamboyant lighted Flamingo hotel and Casino, Maria shook her finger at Jake after she ordered a beer "Jake man, you gotta be careful with who you hook up with! If your last ex was a homicidal maniac then what are your other exes like?"
"She's the only insane one I've been with" Jake replied "and she left a permenent mark on me that I cant fully remove."
She gave him a confused look "what?"
Jake sighed "I uh...had her name tattooed on my shoulder."
"I told you it was a bad idea!" Elwood warned him
"So you still have it on your shoulder?" Maria asked
"Well...sorta"
Jake took off his black suit jaket and lifted his white sleeve.
"I didnt have enough dough to take it completely off"
Maria looked at it closely and noticed his shoulder read "Camil" instead of "Camille" in cursive black ink. Maria laughed at the unfinished tattoo.
"That's so funny!"
"Hardy har har" jake replied sarcastically
"Here you guys go" the bartender said as he gave them thier beers.
"A toast!" Jake called out as he lifted his beer up "To actually being alive despite the wreckless driving we were forced to endure..."
"Hey that wreckless driving saved you guys' lives!" Maria pointed out
Jake continued his toast ignoring her, "and being alive after the hail of gunfire that was aimed at us!"
"Cheers!"
"Cheers."
The trio clinked the bottles and drank.
And drank...
and drank...
and drank some more...
"At least the name on your shoulder has an 'i' instead of a 'e'." Maria said after a few beers "Having 'Camel' on your shoulder wouldve looked bad"
Elwood and Maria laughed even more and drank a few more sips from their bottle. They obviously were getting tipsy and they weren't the only ones. Jake was getting a bit glossy eyed behind his shades.
Jake asked Maria "Oh yeah? What makes your tattoos so special?"
"Mine actually have emotionality behind them." she told him. She raised up her sleeve and showed them the names of her parents. "I got these names when I turned eightteen and moved out of the orphanage."
She then turned around and showed them her shoulders. It was a family of 3 owls; Two adult ones and one small one.
"This one is supposed to represent having a family and the improtance of them"
She then pointed to a rosary that she had on her ankle, a little bit dizzy from the beer.
"I wanted a rosary around my neck, but that meant I had to be tattooed near my chest so I said 'No you pervert! I'm not going topless for you!' so thats when I got it on there."
"You tell that pervert, Maria!" Elwood cheered getting boozy.
"What about you guys' hand tattoos?" She asked them as she held Elwoods hand up to her eyes, "They are soo cool!" she told them happily
"Me and...uh..Elwood" Jake began, his speaking a bit slurred "Were...fff...fifteen! yeah..fifteen..and..."
"J..Jake dared me to uh..." Elwood continued stammering "steal some writing ...burp...ink and a needle from the nuns so I got them and...tattooed my name and Jake's after I was done with mine..."
"That is so awesome!" Maria exclaimed happily as she drank more.
Before they knew it, the Blues Brothers and Maria were getting hammered drunk. Maria normally wasnt a big drinker, but she felt invincible that night.
"M..MM..Maria, stop drinking!" Jake stammered
"You stop drinking!" she snapped
"Good comeback." Elwood told her with a grin and a thumbs up.
"thank you so much Elwood." she said affectionately as she took off his hat and stroked his hair a bit. "That meant alot for you to say that." The booze was obviously making her feelings for him a little bit stronger.
"You're the best girlfriend I have ever had.." Elwood slurred "and youre so..b...beautiful and...awesome..that...I didn't beivle you actually liked..me."
"Elwood loves Maria! Maria loves Elwood!" jake rambled stupidly
"Shuddup!"
"You know what guys?" Maria asked them "I will say this and I'm being honest! Honestly honest...I... love you guys. You guys are..uh...why I have a reason to get up...in the morning."
"That is..so...uh...uh...sweet!" Jake said finally
Their idiotic rambling continued throughout the night and they left the bar, incredibly drunk.
"Hey, you lovey doveys!" Jake called to Elwood and Maria who were making out near a stop sign. They happened to be reaally close when they had too much to drink.
"Whuuuhhhh?" Maria complained
" 'mere! Let's call a cab and go home."
"After we're done." Elwood called out.
The drunken couple continued to make out until they heard
"Elwood?"
"Jake?"
"Six Strings?"
Matt and Murph looked really disturbed as they found their bandmates drunk and two of them making out.
" 'ey it's Matt and Murph!" Maria exclaimed as she pointed at them
"What's up guys?" Elwood called out as he tripped a bit on the sidewalk and clung onto Maria's waist with his arm for support
"Guys, you're drunk! You can't be out in public like this!" Murph scolded.
"Stop yelling, mom!" Jake retorted
The trio began laughing merrily at Jake's retort until Murph turned to Elwood and Maria
"And why are you guys making out?"
"Because we're in love!" Maria slurred as she wrapped her arm around Elwood's neck.
"Dude," Matt said to Murph, uneasily "Lets take these drunks back to the hotel before they get arrested or something."
"Good idea"
Matt called a taxi and Murph led the three drunks into the taxi. As they drove, matt and Murph were getting a bit uncomfortable so they asked the driver to turn up the radio to cover up the drunken ramblings. The driver switched it to a country station.
"Hey guys" Elwood said to Jake and Maria "R..remember when we had to sing country songs?"
"Yeah!" Maria exclaimed "That was actuallly...burp...fun!"
Elwood began singing the familiar country lyrics as he held Maria close
i My hearts calculating../i he slurred as Maria giggled and held him close to her iMy true... love will be waiting. Be waiting at the end of my ..uh..ride/i
She then started singing i Move 'em on! Hit em up! Hit 'em up! Cut em out!...Hit em up!/i ... I dont remember the rest...She continued singing anywayi Ride em in rawhide!/i"
"RAWHIDE!" the brothers yelled making the driver jump in his seat.
"Guys..." Matt asked the drunks calmly once Murph went to his room "You do know where you rooms are right?"
"Calm down Matt the...fat." Jake told him "We can find our way! Let's..hiccup... go, Elwood..."
"Are..are..are you sure you wanna stay with him?" Maria asked Elwood "You can stay over...at my uh...place."
"I gotta...uh...make sure he's...ok." he replied
"ok..." Maria grumbled "Good...burp...night Elwood.."
"Night"
"Night Maria Sangria!" jake told her
Maria and The Blues Brothers stumbled into their rooms and fell fast asleep on thier beds, not even changing thier clothes.
The next morning Maria awoke and she winced as it felt like her head was throbbing like a heartbeat.
"Fuuccck" she complained
When she took a shower and got dressed, she went downstairs for breakfast when she saw Elwood with an icepack on his head.
"Hey" he greeted
"Morning" she replied giving him a small kiss "Wheres Jake?"
"Back in our hotel room...throwing up."
"Oh" Maria replied disgusted "Are you nauseous too?"
"Not really" he told her "Just really thirsty"
"Me too"
"Hey, the loving couple recovered." Murph exclaimed as he, Mr Fabulous and Matt entered the cafe.
"Hey guys" Maria greeted sleepily as she rubbed her eyes
"How's the hangover?" Mr Fabulous asked
"Bad." Elwood replied
"You three were completely sauced!" Matt told them "Don't you rememeber anything?"
The couple shook their head "No."
"And I don't think Jake does either" Elwood told them.
"I really don't"
They all looked up and saw Jake stumble into the cafe with an ice pack
"What did we do last night?" Jake asked in pain
"Well I dont know but when Matt and I saw you guys." Murph began "Jake you were yelling at Elwood and Six Strings while they were making out."
BLEEEHHHH!
Jake suddenly puked into the trashcan as everyone looked away, grossed out.
"Sorry that was the booze, not the making out thing" Jake apoligized
"We made out?" Maria asked the guys
"In public?" Elwood asked
"Yeah..." Murph replied uncomfortably "Maria you cheated on your boyfriend."
Maria sighed a bit
Mind as well come clean with this.
"Guys, my boyfriends Elwood. We kept it a secret for buisness reasons."
"That explains alot" Mr Fabulous commented
"So uh..she didnt cheat" Elwood said
"Yeah" Murph said awkwardly "And you guys kept on singing 'Rawhide' for some reason"
Maria snickered a bit and layed her head down on the table, her head still throbbing with pain.
"Well" Mr Fabulous began "You guys have the rest of the day to recover, but tonight we gotta rehearse because tomorrows the gig"
Jake rolled his eyes behind his shades "Shiittt!" he complained
"Guys" Maria told the brothers, her head still down and voice muffled "Remind me never to go out drinking with you guys again"
AN: Ok, this chapter had some family guy influence I will admit. Mainly when jake puked and said "that was the booze not the making out thing" Brian did something similar after he made out with Meg. Gross. Oh and when the trio was drunk, I kinda got the idea from The Untold story of Stewie Griffin whern Stewie and Brian get drunk, stammer and sing.
So What did we learn today? Not only to not drink but that Jake's a stupid and 'mere' drunk while Elwood and Maria are the 'I Love you' drunks.
Ah Gabriel Iglesias...
The next chapter however is gonna get serious, so stay tuned and sorry if this was a sucky chapter. I just wanted to show the stupid side of Maria and the Blues Brothers and I think I succeeded