Aah sorry I had more exams but now they're all over *PHEW* and my school starts on MONDAY already x.x But I hope to be more regular, because this year looks to be a bit less stressful xD

So to quickly answer your reviews, this is a multi-ship fanfiction! So I've been focusing on the overlydramatised aspects of Drarry, and this chapter is devoted to Snape/Hermione (Snamione?)

ALSO: I'd also like to make something clear. I am NOT saying that there is anything wrong with these ships. With a good and well-written plot, and under the right circumstances, these ships could very well be, well, amazing. But generally (from what I've seen) people try to skip explaining the chemistry between the two characters, and get to the kiss as soon as they can. I should probably have said this earlier, but I am in no way hating on the ships, just how badly they're written. (If you can write them well, then great! I'd be more than happy to read a well-written fanfiction!)

So, I'll start writing then xD

The Potions Master

"Hermy!"

Heads turned and a few people snorted.

"What?" Hermione was completely mortified to see a waving Mary-Sue.

"Don't call me that!" She snapped as Mary approached her with a huge grin plastered on her face.

Mary draped an arm through Hermione's and dragged her along as thought they had been friends forever.

Hermione untangled herself from Mary's firm grip and drew her books closer, almost protectively. "I'm fine on my own, thanks."

She walked briskly in an attempt to distance herself from Mary, but to no avail. Mary kept up with her to the hushed giggles of the students around them. Hermione passed Harry, who shot her a sympathetic look.

"Where are you going?" Mary chirped in her ear. "We have potions in the dungeons!"

"What?" Hermione fumbled with her timetable. "No, we..."

Her jaw dropped. "How..?"

Mary laughed, and Hermione instinctively raised a hand to swat her away from her ear.

"Not so close." She grumbled, changing directions to head for the dungeons.

"Now, Professor Snape has saved you a seat in the front row! You have to tell me all about it later!"

Hermione was horrified to find herself blushing. "That's..."

"Romantic?" Mary sighed.

"Revolting." Hermione corrected as the two headed into the dungeon, immediately falling silent.

"Sit. Down." Snape drawled in his usual lazy voice.

Hermione made for her usual seat, but a word from Snape stopped her in her tracks.

"Miss Granger, would you be so kind to take your seat in the front?" As usual, Snape's words were long and drawn-out, and it seemed to take him forever to say it.

It was also kind of... attractive. Not that Hermione would ever admit it, of course.

Ignoring a knowing wink from Mary, Hermione cautiously sat down in the indicated seat.

"That's how you stick to the rules!" Mary murmured to Harry as he entered the room.

"Where's Ron?" Hermione twisted around, concerned.

"Not important to the plot." Mary said nonchalantly.

"Did she just speak... without exclamation marks?" Harry was awe-struck.

"Face. The. Front, miss Granger." Snape said. (AN: Wow, punctuation is a real problem with Snape, because I'm just hearing Alan Rickman's voice in my head, and trying to write his lines accordingly. THIS IS NOT EASY, LET ME TELL YOU)

Hermione turned around reluctantly, inwardly simmering.

"Turn to page three hundred and ninety four." He told them.

Mary squealed. "OOH! I love that line!"

Snape seemed to not have heard that, and instead he turned upon Hermione.

"Miss Granger." He smirked. "Would you like to demonstrate to the class how to make a love potion?"

"That's not even on page 394- Ow!" Hermione rubbed her back as Mary jabbed her with a pointed finger.

"Play with the rules!" Mary warned her.

For the first time, Hermione realised that there were only Gryffindors in the dreary room. Where were the Hufflepuffs they were meant to have class with?

"Probably lost in Mary's rules." She thought scornfully.

"Whenever you're ready, Hermione." Snape snapped at her.

"AWW he used your first name!" Mary squealed again.

As usual, Snape turned a deaf ear to Mary, not showing the slightest sign that he had heard her. Hermione fervently prayed that he couldn't see her cheeks reddening either.

She licked her lips nervously and decided that extreme times called for extreme measures. She was about to do the one thing she had never thought she would have to do. She was about to say the unspeakable, the unthinkable. She was about to face a problem she had never dreamed that she would have to face.

"I..." She stumbled over the words. "I don't know how to."

The atmosphere in the room seemed to darken even further and Hermione swore that she could feel Mary's death glare on her back.

Even Snape was left astounded, and he seemed to have lost control of his speech.

After what seemed like hours, Snape was able to speak again.

"You obviously haven't done the summer assignment." He said silkily. "Five points from Gryffindor."

The class groaned collectively, and Hermione turned to tell Mary off. She was taken aback at the positively wicked smirk on Mary's face.

"Oh." Snape purred. "Detention in my office. This evening."

The look on Hermione's face turned to one of utter terror

Hermione roughly grabbed Mary and turned her around.

"What was that about?" She demanded. "What is going on?"

Harry joined her and glared at Mary. "What are you trying to accomplish here?"

Mary shrugged Hermione off. "Your lives are so boring!" She said sympathetically. "I'm here to brighten your day!"

"Don't try to go all Mary Poppins again." Harry groaned loudly.

"Just give us a straight answer." Hermione snapped. "What are you?"

"The result of an author who has far too much time on her hands, and doesn't realise that self-insertion is a delicate process and needs a strong plot to support it."

The two just blinked.

"Sorry, what?" Harry blinked again.

Mary smiled fondly. "Someday, you'll understand! But now, don't you think you should hurry to your next class? Ron's waiting for you!"

Harry and Hermione exchanged an uneasy glance. So far all their lessons had been ploys to set them up with someone.

"What class is it?" Hermione asked tentatively, adding under her breath. "I don't think we'll like the answer."

"Transfiguration!"

Hermione choked while Harry said resignedly. "We don't like the answer."

OKAY WHAT WAS THAT ENDING I'm sorry I don't know where that came from that was totally unexpected xD Ohgod the next chapter is going to be pure torture to write. I'm going to have such fun ahaha

And before I forget I want to thank you for ALL THE LOVELY REVIEWS SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST EVER

And this chapter is pretty short (sorry, I'm just paranoid about lengths) but the next one should be up... soon. I won't make any promises, but now that exams are over for a couple of months (at least) I think I can manage!

Thank you so much for being patient with me!

And feel free to review (PLEASE REVIEW omg) :D