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Disclaimer: As always I own absolutely nothing. Although I must say I've given much more care and attention to Parvati than Rowling ever did so I think I should own her. . .

Enjoy and please review. Feel free to point out any heinous grammar mistakes if you see them, I'm happy to fix them.

When Hermione awoke, she was groggy to say the least. Her head was no longer pounding, but her body ached and felt spent. Her night in the ministry was to thank for that. She lifted her head expecting to see the wide open ward she had woken up in before, but was surprised to see herself in a small, private room and figured they must have moved her when she was out. However, she recognized the setting as St. Mungo's as well as the nurse who was in the corner that worked there, but who was probably not there to nurse her. She was wearing muggle clothing and looked extremely tired, but looked hesitant as Hermione's eyes finally rested on her.

"Hi," Hermione croaked feeling her mouth go dry.

"Hi," Parvati said back.

"Umm," Hermione scratched the back of her head not really knowing how to continue. The expression on Parvati's face was a little unnerving. She looked relieved, unsure, and angry all the same time and it was furrowing her eyebrows in the most dangerous way.

"Are you okay?" Parvati asked. Her voice was almost like her expression- there was definite concern there, but enough scorn that told Hermione she better choose her words carefully.

"I'm feeling better," Hermione hesitated. "How are you?"

Parvati shrugged and sunk back into her seat in a somewhat relaxed state. "More or less. . ." she answered almost uncaringly.

"How long was I out?" she asked rubbing her head.

Parvati gave her a sympathetic look. "About two days. . . you were out when we brought you here, but you woke up screaming not long after. They gave you some stuff to help you have a dreamless sleep."

"I remember being in a different room."

"They thought it might be better to put you in a separate sound-proof room in case they didn't make the potion strong enough and you had nightmares again."

Hermione slumped back into her pillow and stared at the ceiling. "I can't believe I've been sleeping for two days."

"Well," Parvati said almost curtly, "according to your coworkers it sounded like you needed two days rest."

"I just had some trouble sleeping and work helped me," Hermione reasoned not at all liking being scolded like a child.

Parvati snorted, but Hermione chose to ignore the rude gesture.

"So have you been here the whole time?" she asked her.

Parvati looked almost haughty as she answered. "No, I haven't. You've had other people walking in on you too like shifts. Harry stopped by for a few hours, Ginny, Mrs. Weasley," she hesitated, but then said in a rather funny voice, "Ron."

"Oh," she blushed. "It's actually been quite a while since I've seen him."

Parvati gave Hermione a glare that made it seem as if she were ready to explode, but her voice remained even, albeit a bit cold. "You saw him the other night in the department of mysteries- you told him he looked well."

"Well, you look-" Hermione stopped and ventured to look up at Parvati's face and into her eyes which seemed to look piercingly back at her. "Good," she decided, but immediately regretted the choice as Parvati rolled her eyes and folded her arms in an annoyed way. "Beautiful!" Hermione blurted out correcting herself immediately. "You always look beautiful," Hermione said miserably more to herself than to the Indian witch.

"Beautiful?" Parvati asked incredulously in a harsh tone. "I look fucking beautiful, is that why you left me?"

Hermione gulped. She had just woken up and she didn't think she would be getting into this so soon.

Parvati watched Hermione's mouth gape open for a minute as if bobbing for words until the bushy-haired bookworm finally blurted out, "No, of course not! I- I didn't want to leave you- I didn't actually! It was you who left-"

"Fine, let me rephrase that," she replied harshly to her haphazard explanation. "How could you ask me to leave me?" Parvati yelled ignoring the fact that screaming at a woman who was out for two days after almost getting her soul sucked out through her mouth was a terrible thing to do. "I wanted to give everything to you- I tried to be sweet and understanding! When I have not been?"

"Parvati please!" Hermione begged, not even knowing what she was begging for.

"No Hermione! Believe me I know how it's supposed to go- you nearly die and now I'm supposed to make up with you and it's supposed to be all rainbows and pygmy-puffs, and I was going to play it that way. That night when you were in the ministry. . . I went to your apartment and it was my intention to get you back. All I wanted was you and I would have apologized and begged through my teeth until you were mine again, but now. . ." Parvati shook her head and sank back in the chair suddenly looking very young and frail.

"Out of all the people at Hogwarts, if someone had told me it was you who was going to break my heart," Parvati chuckled harshly opening her eyes to look at her. "I would have laughed my arse off." She shook her head as if ashamed of something, and concentrated on the window as if she found something particularly interesting there.

"Parvati, I'm sorry," Hermione said trying to keep her voice even, wondering what had changed in her feelings for her in the past two days that would make Parvati want to yell at her instead of make up with her as she just confessed she had intended. "I wish I never said those things. I never meant to hurt you or-"

"Never meant to hurt me?" Parvati practically roared. "What did you expect to happen Hermione? You keep these secrets between you and Ron and Harry and expect everyone else in your life to just turn a blind eye to them? Oh, but it's okay for Harry to tell Ginny-"

"That's different!" Hermione protested.

"Why? Because you all love Ginny, but you don't love me or because you trust Ginny and you don't trust me?"

"Parvati it's not like that-"

"Hermione," Parvati said sounding exasperated. "It's exactly like that. . . Don't you see you don't trust me. You don't even act like you love me. . . and I- I don't think I should really love you."

Hermione felt her stomach drop. "What?" she asked weakly.

Parvati gave her a sad look and continued slowly as if she had deeply considered what she was about to say for a while, and even though it hurt she was determined to say it. "I'm a good fuck when you want one Hermione," she said softly. "I'm a distraction you keep to get away from these memories you won't share with me. I'm a vacation from reality. Have I ever been anything else?"

"Of course you are." Hermione never felt so un-eloquent. She had never felt such a loss of words from what she was feeling. She wanted to tell her everything she was feeling, needing, and wanting right at that moment. And, what she was feeling was- "I love you," she blurted out.

Parvati sighed, and Hermione felt her stomach drop. "Why, Hermione? And don't tell me it's because I'm beautiful, because, quite frankly, I'm sick of hearing that from you."

Hermione gapped at her and Parvati laughed ruefully. "You don't love me Hermione. You don't confide me in like you love me, you don't trust me, you don't even look at me that way. I was the one that figured out you were in the ministry. I just needed Harry and Ron's help on the way to get in. Yet, when you woke up and Ron was holding you, you looked at him like- like you loved him Hermione. And you told him that you always knew he was going to come, and then you see me out of the corner of your eye and give me a look like you didn't know what the fuck I was doing there. Quite frankly, I don't know what I'm doing here now. . ."

"So," Hermione said realizing what exactly had changed her mind. But, instead of feelings sad, remorseful, or regretful she was rapidly becoming angry back. "I was a mistake then? A waste of time?"

Parvati stood up and walked up to the side of Hermione's bed. She sat on the edge with her arms folded and only slightly turned to her ex-lover. She did not look at her as she answered, "I can't decide."

"Can't decide?" Hermione asked tensing. Now it was her turn to be angry. "You want to know some secrets? You want to know some goddamn secrets?" she roared her hands balled up in fists. Parvati looked at her in astonishment, her mouth slightly open. "Here's a secret for you- Ron's rat was actually an anigmus that betrayed Harry's parents and got them killed! Want another one? A runty giant nicknamed me Hermy, I used a time-turner to help an escaped convict, I've accidentally poly-juiced into a cat-girl, I sent my parents halfway across the world during the war so they wouldn't be discovered and killed because of me! I wiped their memory of me so they never remembered they had a daughter and even though I've restored it afterwards they don't trust me. I've scared the shit out of them Parvati-" she started sobbing uncontrollably, burying her face in her hands while Parvati looked at her in even more sheer surprise. In fact, she looked almost terrified at Hermione's meltdown. "I know what you were thinking when we visited them that one time- that I was acting odd because I was ashamed of you, but it wasn't you! I act that way around them all the time. I don't think they even want me to visit them Vati- they're just scared to say no when I ask!"

"Shit Hermione," Parvati said looking at Hermione like she didn't quite know what to say or do. Parvati bit her lip and then pulled Hermione's shaking shoulders into an awkward hug. "It's okay, your parents still love you. . . "

"Why? Why would they?" Hermione practically screamed in such a high-pitched voice that Parvati opened her eyes and moved her head away from Hermione's to take a good look at her. Even though she had used such a nasty tone, her face betrayed her. Hermione looked fragile and small in Parvati's arms. Her eyes were sparkling and here lips and nose were red from crying. She held Parvati's waist timidly but had a much stronger hold on the fabric of her shirt as if she would tug and be relentless to let go if Parvati tried to leave. "Well?" Hermione demanded, and Parvati could not help but let out a small sad smile at how Hermione sounded like a pouting teenager.

"Love isn't just something that comes and goes, Hermione. It's something that stays," Parvati said quietly running her fingertips through the bookworm's hair. She didn't know what she was doing. She did not know what the fuck was happening. A minute ago she was yelling at her hoarse and telling her she was done with this. . . and now. . . she felt like a hypocrite. She could not help but notice the irony in her words.

"It's just not how I imagined my life being," Hermione choked her voice straining. She moved her grip from the fabric of Parvati's shirt to around her waist. Parvati's stomach dropped at the touch- a mixture of sadness, guilt, anger and grief. "I never asked to be a witch. I was going to go to graduate early and go to some expensive high-end university," Hermione continued more than herself than to Parvati. "I was going to be a researcher or a doctor- you know something very professional, and then I got my Hogwarts letter and everything changed. I was excited, but I mean look what I've gotten myself into. . . I don't regret it, but it's not the life I've wanted. There's too much pain. I- I don't know how to deal with this anymore."

"You really need to get help Hermione," Parvati said quietly running her fingers through her hair soothingly. "Really."

This was not the way Parvati had planned it. She did not plan on comforting her after all that happened between them. But, although Parvati was still angry, a feeling of sympathy outweighed it and dulled the need to continue yelling at her. Perhaps she knew she had been through enough already, and did not need someone continuing to point out her faults in a relationship when she was already moping over her faults in life.

"You know you were right what you said," Hermione continued after a long silence. She sniffed. "I treated you like a vacation, but I never thought of you as one. I loved making love to you, and I enjoyed every minute of it, but that's not why I enjoyed being around you so much. You just always seemed so happy Vati, and I loved how happy you were. You didn't act broken after the war like other people did. You were still happy like you were before the war and I thought that if I had you I would become happy too- that I could salvage something of that old ideal of the life I wanted. I guess it's selfish. . . I thought you could teach it to me. . . give it to me if I had you."

"Hermione," Parvati said sadly, but tried to make her laugh all the same. "Happiness isn't like some std you can catch. . ."

Hermione sniffed and let out a chuckle. She looked up at Parvati and the two shared a long look. "It's silly looking back on it, I know. I'm sorry."

Parvati hesitated before she shook her head. "You don't have to say you're sorry," she decided. "It's not like our relationship was built on commitment and long meaningful discussions- it started with a one night stand. . . well it was supposed to be anyway. I think a little selfishness was involved on both sides." She let out bitter laugh.

Hermione let out a teary smile as she confessed. "I was so happy that night, I was sure my theory had been right."

Parvati couldn't help but snort. "That happiness was an std?"

She locked eyes with her former lover and could not deny the feelings that stirred inside her as she looked at the bushy-haired witch. Hermione, Parvati knew whether they ever got back together or not, would always be special. She removed her hand from her hair and brushed off her tear-stained cheek with her thumb. She was unaware that her next words would make her rethink their entire relationship and whether they should get back together, not because what she said was mean or cruel, but because Hermione had actually depended on her much more than she ever thought.

"No, that you could make me happy."

x x x

Parvati left St. Mungo's an hour later when Molly came by to look after Hermione. Mrs. Weasley was surprised and happy to see Hermione had finally woken up, but angry to discover that Parvati had not owled her or anyone else right away. Parvati, however, hardly cared. She knew Mrs. Weasley would never be a fan of hers. As Ginny had told her Mrs. Weasley had always figured Hermione would work things out with Ron, and Parvati was a sore thumb in that ever happening.

In that last hour together after Hermione had stopped crying and Parvati helped her clean up- Parvati finally called the healer in. Something, she realized, she should have done right away even though Parvati always knew she would be physically fine. After the healer told her to take it easy and left the room Hermione had tried to get them to talk about a future together, but Parvati had skirted past her questions. Now more than ever she knew Hermione needed to get better before she started making decisions or becoming distressed at the outcome. So, Parvati promised to stay by her side until she recovered from her exhaustion and her night at the ministry to ease her worrying for the time being, and then they would talk about their relationship. Although the more Parvati thought about it the more she was unsure if Hermione was ready to be in a relationship with anyone before she worked out the kinks in her personal issues. Kinks that required professional help and time to heal alone. And, when Parvati kissed Hermione on the forehead after saying good-bye she sensed that Hermione knew what she was thinking because she grabbed the Indian witch's hand and gave her a knowing look. A look that seemed to promise she would be okay if Parvati left her and she would take care of herself this time. A look that seemed to apologize for a lot of things, some not entirely her fault.

When Parvati left the room she was oddly calm. She maintained her cool until she had apparated back to her apartment and stood at the threshold of her bedroom and that was when she started to break down. She allowed herself to realize that in a week when Hermione was recovered she would have to start recovering from something else. Something that was much more difficult that she would have to start on her own. And, as much as Parvati wanted to stay, despite all the heartache she had been through because of her, she knew that it would be better for Hermione if she took the journey alone.