Give His Heart a Break.
Authors Note: Third times a charm, they do say. I'm feeling much more alive and awake now. I want to write this chapter tonight before I sleep. You can thank my inspiration to actually get off my arse and write to Gossip Girl – it came back in the UK tonight and put me in a splendid mood.
I cannot get over how close I am to reaching three things tonight: 1) 100 reviews, 2) 10,000 hits, and 3) 20,000 words. It's amazing. Anyways, thank-you so much guys and without further rambling for me – my next chapter (the one I've been so excited to give you)!
Disclaimer: I sadly own nothing but if I marry Benedict Cumberbatch in the future, I will be coming back to rectify this just because I can! ;)
Chapter Eleven: Two Months and Three Days.
It had been two months and three days since Sherlock had been back at 221B.
And it was on the day of those two months and three days that Sherlock finally felt like everything was going back the way it had been before the jump.
John and himself had just gotten off a case and were currently sitting in the living room of their flat, reveling silently in their victory against a terrible injustice. Well, that's what John was doing; Sherlock was more gloating at the fact he had solved another.
On their return, Mrs Hudson, who swore to them that she was not their housekeeper, brewed them up a lovely, well needed cup of tea.
The two boys sat, peacefully, sipping away at the drink.
Both of their thoughts had strolled off in to different directions: Sherlock wondering what his next case would entail and John wondering how to start off the conversation he wished to have with Sherlock.
He decided to be blunt about it.
He looked towards his best friend and then placed his tea mug on the table besides his chair.
"Sherlock," came his voice.
Sherlock didn't turn his head to look at him and by the look in his eyes, he wasn't truly aware of what John had just said.
"Yes?"
"I forgive you."
Sherlock's eyes snapped to his own in that cold, calculated stare of his.
"That was made quite clear two months and three days ago, John."
John rolled his eyes.
"Not about that."
Sherlock was gone again; lost in a thought that appeared incredible.
"About what then?"
"About… Molly."
John still wasn't comfortable speaking his ex-girlfriends name.
It was just… hard.
Sherlock lost focus and turned to look at John in disbelief.
"You're still mad about that?"
"No."
John shook his head.
"I was mad about that. I just told you I've forgiven you."
Sherlock stared at his friend and then said the one thing he thought was appropriate in these types of situations.
"Thank-you."
Sherlock went back in to his thoughts, cataloguing everything that had happened on the case they had just finished.
"I want to talk about it, Sherlock."
Sherlock groaned inside.
John wanted to talk about what had happened.
He knew what that talk would involve:
Feelings.
He was fed up with bloody feelings!
They were getting in the way of everything and he'd quite frankly had enough.
But, he sighed and turned his attention to his best friend.
He knew what he had done was wrong.
He might as well indulge him.
"Sure, John."
He smiled.
John frowned.
"Seriously, Sherlock."
Sherlock's smile slipped from his lips.
"I want to know why you did it, Sherlock."
Sherlock's throat felt tight.
It felt as if he was about to choke.
He ran his tongue over his lips to wet them; they still felt dry.
"Do what?"
John glared at him.
"You know bloody full well what I'm on about."
Sherlock looked away from him, setting his jaw in to lock.
He was trying to come up with a reason for what he had done.
He couldn't bare to tell John the truth.
Nothing seemed to be a good enough reason.
He turned his head to John.
His eyes were shut as he tried to collect himself.
"I didn't think you and Molly were good for one another. I decided to do the only thing I could about it. I did it because I… because I-I care about you both."
John stayed quiet.
Sherlock hadn't spoken much but John just couldn't seem to process the words.
Sherlock had wanted to break them up because he cared about them.
Since when had he cared about Molly?
That was just ridiculous.
John was beginning to fume inside.
Sherlock had broken them up because he thought he knew what was best for them both.
John was in a state of conniption now.
The man may be a genius but he had no idea about love or relationships.
The man had no right to decide what was best for him and Molly.
"How bloody dare you, Sherlock!" John spat.
Sherlock flinched.
So much for being forgiven.
Sherlock looked on at his friend, keeping his eyes guarded and getting ready for the attack he was about to face.
He could handle it.
He highly doubted John would punch him again.
"You had absolutely no right in deciding what is good for me… or Molly even! I can't believe you actually took that decision in to your own hands! I thought being the genius you are you would have realised you didn't have enough knowledge on the subject to make an actual decision!"
John was standing up now and pacing the floor in what Sherlock thought looked like a predator getting ready to catch it's pray.
It was rather amusing, really.
Sherlock being the pray and all.
He almost laughed out loud.
Only almost.
He wasn't that naïve when it came to social interactions.
Sherlock sat there watching John.
He still didn't speak up.
He just let John get it all out.
"I loved her, Sherlock! I know you're not capable of feeling anything but I am! And I loved Molly Hooper! She picked up the pieces that you kindly left shattered! She made me feel whole again! She made me feel things I never even knew possible! She brought me back to life again! She…"
Sherlock cut him off, right there.
"Then why are you still mad at her?"
John stopped pacing.
His eyes cut towards his friend with a glare.
Sherlock continued.
"It's quite obvious from the little rant you're giving me right now that you don't think she's the one to blame like you previously stated. It's me you count as the bad guy and you've already forgiven me. So, why are you letting Molly Hooper suffer? You know she is. You were there at the morgue during the case. It wasn't hard for anyone to see that she was drinking far too much lately. She looked as if she hadn't slept in about a week and hadn't showered in about two. Her clothes needed ironing and she looked as if her skin was just about covering her bones, which shows us she isn't eating well."
John was quiet.
He was shocked.
He was trying to digest everything Sherlock had just told him.
In all truth, John hadn't noticed.
He had been so caught up with trying to pretend Molly wasn't there that he hadn't taken a proper glance at her.
Was he really the cause of such a thing?
He swallowed and a gulp sounded from his throat as he looked at Sherlock.
"She's really in that much of a state?"
Sherlock frowned.
John was more oblivious than he'd previously thought.
He decided not to bring that up right now.
He probably would get a punch for that.
"Yes."
John sunk back down on to the seat he had just vacated and threw his head in to his hands.
"Oh, what have I done, Sherlock? What if she still hasn't eaten! She's on her way to dying!"
Sherlock was pretty sure that wasn't the case.
Molly wasn't dumb.
"I'm sure she's fine."
"I was never mad at Molly. That's what done me in. When I s—When I saw you… two… together that day, I instantly forgave Molly. It frightened me. What kind of person does that? She looked as if she was cheating on me with my best friend and I just forgave her on the spot. It angered me and I said some hateful things. I haven't been able to face her. I haven't wanted to face her. I didn't pay attention to her that day at the morgue. I forced my everything in to believing she wasn't there when she needed me more than anything. I put her in that state, Sherlock. Me. The man who is supposed to love her and I've broken her instead all because I was frightened of my feelings for her."
John looked up at Sherlock.
His face said it all and Sherlock wasn't even sure what he could read on it.
All he knew was one thing: he simply got it.
He gave John his best attempt at a smile.
"Go."
That was the single word that left Sherlock's lips and it strangely hurt.
He was letting go of something he hadn't even known he'd been holding on to.
He was letting go of Molly.
He didn't understand that.
He'd never had Molly.
He'd chosen to ignore his feelings.
So, why was he letting go?
He was trying to figure that out while he watched John grab his coat and leave the flat.
John raced down the stairs and hailed a taxi as fast as he could.
"St. Bart's." He ordered the cabbie.
He was sure Molly would be there.
It was her shift time.
His foot nervously ticked as he watched London pass by the taxi window.
In what felt like forever, the taxi finally arrived and John chucked the money at him.
Not caring if he had change to come.
Like he had at Baker Street, he raced in to the hospital and located the stairs in which led to the morgue.
He ignored everyone around him.
He didn't care how stupid he looked.
He knew he was nothing like a leading man.
But, he just didn't care.
His thoughts were solely on Molly.
He was determined to set things right.
He smashed through the door of the morgue; it was more dramatic than the times Sherlock had done it.
Molly let out a gasp and dropped the equipment she had just been cleaning off from her latest autopsy number.
She turned around to see who had created the commotion.
Her eyes widened at who she saw.
Was this a dream?
She felt faint.
But perhaps, that was because she hadn't eaten more than an apple in the past couple days.
"John?" She whispered.
Sherlock had been right.
Molly looked awful.
He felt sick.
This was because of him.
He had made Molly look this way.
The woman who had always been full of such life now looked like one of the bodies she worked on daily.
He took a few more steps closer to her until he was stood in front of her.
"Molly, I don't even know where to begin. Please, don't say a word. Just let me speak."
Molly stared at him.
She wasn't sure she could actually comprehend any words right now to speak.
She licked her lips and waited for him to start.
John got his thoughts together and took a steadying breath.
That run had taken it out of him.
He was seriously unfit.
He gripped his side to calm the stitch growing there and began to speak.
"That day I found you and Sherlock together. I said things I didn't mean. I was out of line and I shouldn't have said them. I wasn't mad at you, Molly. I was angry with myself. The first thing that went through my head, after I thought that guy on your couch looked strangely like Sherlock, was that I forgive you. It angered me. I didn't understand it. How could I forgive you when it clearly looked like you were about to cheat on me? So, I took it out on you. I said everything I could to hurt you. It was wrong and I'm sorry."
Molly tried to speak but John held his hand up to her.
"Let me continue, please Molly. I tried to hate you for all those months. But, I found it to be impossible. All I wanted to do was hold you, kiss you, and tell you how much I loved you. It angered me more. I couldn't see you. I just couldn't. That's why when I came here to the morgue with Sherlock two weeks ago, I completely ignored you. It took everything I had to do it. But, I did it. I managed to pretend you weren't here. Oh Molly! That was my biggest mistake of all. It wasn't until today that I realised that. I confronted Sherlock about everything today and we came back to the subject of our visit a couple weeks ago, and he described to me how you were doing. I was in shock. I couldn't believe I had failed to notice all of that. I'd fought so hard to keep you out all because I didn't understand my feelings. I didn't understand how I could just forgive you without even hearing an explanation as to what was going on, and because of that I left you here to suffer. I left you alone, Molly. You were there for me after Sherlock 'died.' You helped complete me again, got me back on track and I failed to do the same with you. But, I'm here now, Molly. I'm going to fix this. I swear to you. I am going to fix this."
John's voice was filled with so much emotion.
Molly didn't know what to say.
She didn't know what to do.
She felt faint again and so she gripped on to the counter beside her.
Tears were springing to her eyes.
Oh, please! Don't cry! She tried willing herself.
She stared at him.
She wanted to say something.
She didn't know what she could possibly say to everything he had just confessed.
"Molly, I am so, so sorry for everything and I swear to you I can be better. I can be stronger and braver. I won't leave you alone like this again. I'm going to make up for everything that I have done to you, Molly. I promise."
Molly watched him with confused eyes as he began sink down on to his knee.
What was going on?
She really didn't have a clue.
She just watched.
"Molly, this is far from romantic but I don't care." John spoke softly.
"I don't have a ring. I hadn't really planned this. But Molly, I know this is what is right for the both of us. I can feel it. I hope you feel the same because right now, I am kneeling on this floor and it is rather painful and I would hate for it to be for no reason – don't let that pressure you in to this!"
John laughed at his last words before he took Molly's hand in to his own and looked her deep in to the eyes, and asked her the words she had long ago started to believe she would never hear in her life time.
"Molly Hooper, would you do me the greatest honour of my life in becoming my wife?"
Authors Note: Oh no, I didn't! ;) There is a chapter I have been waiting to give you all for so long! It happens to be the one I've written most for! I've worked extremely hard on this and I feel like I've got it right now. I really hope you like it as much as I do! Isn't it just the sweetest thing… ever! I'd marry John… just saying.
I'm sorry to be giving you some news like this right now, but there is a possibility I won't be updating for a couple days as not only do I have other things to do but tomorrow I usually am far too tired to want to write. It's my only full day at Sixthform and I have so much work to do while there tomorrow that I'm going to be like a zombie when I get home.
Please don't hate me for leaving you with a cliff-hanger like this! I didn't do it on purpose… or did I? ;)
Finally, please leave me reviews! Honestly, they will make me so happy and may even influence me to update this story tomorrow. I love you guys!
Petal.