Esme watched as Carlisle dropped his hands from his face then crossed his arms tightly over his chest, looking very much like a small lost child hugging himself for comfort. His eyes, glistening with tears, were tainted with strong emotions. Within their dark depths she could see remorse, despair, and something that looked remarkably like fear. In all their years together she had seen sides of her soul mate that he kept well guarded from all others, but never before has she come across the frighten little boy who now huddled before her.

She approached him slowly as she smiled gently at her mate hoping to soothe away that fear.

"It's alright, Carlisle, my love. Everything is going to be okay." Her voice was light and reassuring, belying the worried nervousness she was experiencing. She reached a hand out to gently brush his cheek but his response was to pull away as he drew himself tighter into his protective cocoon.

"Esme, don't." His eyes pleaded with her before he shut them tightly and turned his face away. "Don't touch me."

"Are you injured? What's wrong?" Esme noticed his swollen hand and felt her chest tighten with concern for her husband. Her first priority after the fight had been her son but now she felt a pang of regret. Apparently it was Carlisle whom she should have worried about more. "Carlisle, talk to me, please. Tell me what I can do to help you."

He shook his head and Esme could hear his shallow rapid breath catch in his chest.

"There is nothing to do."

Her soft touch lighted on his shoulder for a second before he jerked away then turned on her with a hiss, eyes flashing dangerously.

"I said don't touch me, Esme. I can't be trusted and I don't want to hurt you. Please just leave me. Go home where you will be safe from this... this... thing that I've become."

Esme's eyes hardened as she stared down into her husband's pain filled face.

"Carlisle Cullen, you are not some thing. You are the same kind gentle soul who I fell in love with from the first moment I met you as a silly sixteen year old girl who had no business climbing trees. The same wonderful man who literally gave me a new life when my own hopelessness sent me to seek relief in death.

I will not stand idly by and witness as you debase yourself. I love you far too deeply to allow such a thing to occur."

"You don't understand."

"You're right, I don't understand and I won't be able to understand unless you talk to me. You have to let me in, Carlisle. Don't block me out like some stranger."

All the hurt and suffering of the world seemed reflected in Carlisle's eyes as he tried to find the courage within himself to comply with his wife's request. He longed for the comfort of her embrace but he feared that she might do or say something that would cause him to lash out at her. He could not trust himself and the very thought of hurting her sickened his very soul. How would he ever be able to live if something was to actually happen? Fresh tears stung his eyes as that dark thought consumed his mind.

Esme watched as Carlisle warred with himself. She couldn't stand to see him like this but was at a loss as to what she could do. If she pushed too hard she stood the chance of having him lock her out completely, but to do nothing meant watching him torture himself for God only knew how long.

Inhaling deeply, she sat down next to him but resisted her desire to comfort him with her touch. He needed to know that he wasn't going to be able to chase her away and she could only pray that knowledge would be enough to help him with whatever he was going through.

Releasing her held breath, she willed the tension out of her body then spoke in the soft soothing tones one would use with a frightened child.

"Carlisle, why do you think that you are better then your children?"

The desperate sadness in his eyes swiftly was overtaken by an expression of utter shock.

"I don't. How can you say such a thing, Esme?"

"You must, love." With his expression darkening in confusion she quietly continued. "If you did not think of yourself as better then them you would be able to forgive your mistakes as easily as you forgive theirs. It seems to me that you have elevated yourself higher. That is the only reason that I can think of that would cause your fall from grace, as it were, to be so much harder. You must have fallen a great deal further if you can't be forgiven."

"My sin is greater. I nearly killed my son. How can that simply be forgiven and forgotten?"

Esme smiled inwardly at her mate's words. Not only had she managed to get him talking which gave her something to work with, but in his tone she detected a touch of annoyance which was better then self pity and crushing guilt. That ever so slight anger meant that she had hit a nerve causing Carlisle to think with his head instead of just his heart.

"Do you forgive Jasper?"

"What?"

"It is an easy yes or no question. At this very moment do you feel anger or resentment towards your son?"

"No, of course not."

"Then you have forgiven him?"

"Yes, Esme. I have forgiven him. I fail to see..."

"But his sin is really no different, is it?"

Carlisle opened his mouth to protest but the words never came. He blinked away his tears as he gazed at his loving intelligent wife who simply sat there with a knowing look on her face. He wished to God that he could find a fault in her diatribe but he knew that he had just been bested.

"You should have become an attorney instead of an architect."

"Why is that, Doctor Cullen?" She allowed a warm smile to curl her lips as she gazed lovingly at her still clearly troubled husband while her hand gently brushed his cheek. She thrilled when he accepted her touch. "Don't you like my artistic endeavors?"

"Very much so, Mrs. Cullen, but there would be far fewer innocents behind bars if you were defending them." The slightest ghost of a smile touched his lips before vanishing once again. "Or substantially fewer criminals walking the streets depending on if your taste favored prosecution."

Though the sadness remained, love shone equally as brightly in his eyes as he gazed in wonder at the beautiful angel who sat so close to the lowly sinner. "I don't know what I would have done..."

"Shh." Esme leaned over and silenced his words with a soft kiss. "You are stuck with me for a very long time, lover. I'm not going anywhere."

Esme ran her fingers through his thick blond hair as she brushed some of the forest debris from it. Against his better judgement, Carlisle found himself closing his eyes and purring quietly as he gave himself over to her healing touch. He still looked so much like a scared little boy that Esme found herself needing to cuddle him close. To her surprise and delight, he no longer fought against her and soon was reclining in her arms with his head resting in her lap while she hummed softly.

The clearing was bathed in pale moonlight by the time she felt him fully relax. His breathing had slowed and deepened. Occasionally she heard it stop as his body tensed but he was recovering quicker each time.

"What is that tune, sweetheart? I don't recall having heard it before."

In response she gave words to the melody.

"There's angels in twilight, shadows in rain

Testing our courage and they're riding this train

There's angels in twilight, shadows in rain

Testing our courage and they all know our names."

He smiled as he lightly laughed. "Appropriate as you are most surely my angel."

"Are you ready to tell me what happened?" She prompted him gently as she looked down to find that the eyes staring back up at her had returned to their normal bright gold.

He sighed deeply as he glanced away before he spoke.

"I should have intervened sooner. The altercation should have never gotten so far out of hand. When I heard Rose come in the house grumbling I called her upstairs to the study to find out what was going on. She told me about the fight but I just didn't realize how serious it was becoming."

With another sigh, Carlisle pulled away from his mate and sat up once again with his back against the tree. He forced himself to meet her eyes. There was a fleeting moment where he feared that he would encounter judgement in those eyes but his worry vanished when he found nothing but love, curiosity and concern in their topaz depths. Swallowing back his fear, he continued.

"Rose had already gone back downstairs after something when we both heard Emmett cry out. She was out of the door like a shot but the gravity of the situation had yet to hit me. I didn't follow fast enough but when I finally caught up I saw Jasper..." His eyes suddenly closed as his voice broke. Dropping his head, Carlisle brought his fist up to cover his mouth while he swallowed hard trying to dislodge the lump of venom which choked him.

Esme's hand rested lightly on his thigh, maintaining a connection as the flood of memories overtook Carlisle.

"Carlisle, don't. There is no need to relive that. What I was asking is what happened out here? What did I walk into?" She very gently took his damaged hand in hers. "What was the cause of this?"

He pulled his hand away and slowly balled up his fist then released it with a slight wince. "It's nothing. An accident."

Esme cocked an eyebrow as she watched her husband intently.

"You are the world's worst liar, Carlisle Cullen. You seem to forget that we live with five perpetual teenagers so I am skilled at ferreting out the truth. You, my love, can not pull the wool over my eyes."

"I was just upset, Esme. May we please leave it at that? It is nearly healed anyway."

"You're not..."

"I am a doctor, Mrs. Cullen. I believe I can tell when bones are on the mend."

Esme cleared her throat as she tilted her head slightly giving her mate a look that she normally reserved for silencing her children. She was pleased to find that it had the same effect on him.

"As I was saying, you're not like him."

"Like who?" Carlisle's forehead creased in confusion as he struggled to follow while her train of thought appeared to have jumped track.

Exhaling in a heavy sigh, Esme looked up at the moon willing its glow to fortify her strength. When she looked back to her mate she reached out and took his hands in hers, rubbing her thumbs gently over them.

"I know abuse, Carlisle. You know what I suffered through with Charles. These are not the hands of an abusive man." He tried to pull away but she held him fast. "I didn't hear much but what I did hear was your claim to be following in your father's footsteps." She looked up into his eyes noting the return of fear. "Nothing could be further from the truth. Trust me."

AN: Sorry, y'all. Carlisle needed a little tough love to get through to him. Esme is working hard to recover our favorite daddy vamp but he isn't willing to make things easy; hard headed man.

Thank y'all for hanging in there with me. It's a bumpy ride but we're getting there. Thanks for keeping me going with your kind words, reviews and pms. You guys are just the best. *hugs*

Oops. I nearly forgot. The song is lovingly borrowed from a pub owner Irish bard friend of mine, one Mr. Danny O'Flaherty. The song is titled "Angels in Twilight" and should anyone what to hear what it sounds like it is out there on Youtube.