Mishaps Of The Eastern Wonderland

by Captain Vulcan

Lots of crazy stuff can happen in the realm of Gensokyou. Latest featured tale: The Great Shinobi Incident - Part I. A mysterious sect of ninja is putting the people of Gensokyou on edge. And if that isn't bad enough, Reimu has been kidnapped. Kasen has her work cut out before her.

4. Little OC Lost

Miss me?

TOUHOU PROJECT

MISHAPS OF THE EASTERN WONDERLAND

4th Tale

Little OC Lost

Outside World – Three Years Ago

"Ugh, I think I'm coming down with an headache," Kanako Yasaka sighed, gently messaging her forehead. "How do you children stand to play these high-definition video games for over ten minutes in the first place?"

"Rage-quitting again, Kanako-sama?" Sanae teased, enjoying her little victory over the storm goddess in a little game of Tekken. "You've indeed improved, but you have a long way to go. Beware of my mix-up games and knowledge of frame data. The rage system and bound mechanic are a doozy too."

"No worries, child. I'm just having a little fun challenging you," Kanako popped her fingers with a loving smile. "Still, I have yet to get used to these kinds of graphics. I'm going to need an aspirin."

"This thing is rigged!" A small blond haired girl cursed. She was causing a commotion on a plushie machine at the other side of the video arcade. "Rigged, I tell ya!"

Sanae giggled sheepishly. "Wow... Suwako-sama's been at that thing since we arrived here."

"Of course," Kanako remarked with a dark grin on her face. "That thing is making a fool out of that poor old lady."

"I've heard that!" The ancient little girl yelled, scaring a couple of high school kids. The miniature jean-suspenders wearing goddess was a riot today. The once powerful sovereign of a feared kingdom was being bested by a crane machine. "And watch who you're calling old, you old hag!"

Even though the people in the arcade were completely unaware of being in the presence of divine beings, Kanako remarked, "Says the midget who is my senior by a couple of centuries!"

"Ha! Judging from our appearances, that claim is not at all convincing!" Suwako cackled triumphantly and took another shot at the crane machine. A tiger plushy slipped from the crane's grasp. "AAAARGH!"

"Try not to have a stroke over there!" Kanako sang.

"She's really persistent, isn't she?" Sanae wondered.

"Indeed she is..."

"Right. Hey, wanna challenge me at a racing game?" Sanae suggested. "Or how about doing a little karaoke?"

"That sounds like fun... but first thing, first," Kanako indicated towards an old arcade cabinet. "Let's see how well you fair in a classic: Galaga!"

"You wanna play that fossil of a game?" Sanae laughed as she rose from the stool. "Fine. Don't be surprised if I beat your score."

"You're on!"

"Damn this machine!" Suwako condemned, garnering the attention of a forty-something woman. The woman approached the little goddess and chided her for bad behavior."Say what? Watch my language? Tend to your own damn business, child! Don't you know who I am? You're gonna spank me? I should whoop your behind instead, you insolent brat! Just so you know-"

Sanae quickly interrupted the impending confrontation between Suwako and the motherly woman. "Ah, having another one of your tantrums again, Suwa-chan? Auntie Sanae's gonna punish you for being naughty." The green haired school girl turned her regards to the woman. "I'm so sorry. My little niece has quite a temper."

Suwako raised a brow. What the hell was her baby talking about? "Niece?"

Sanae continued, "I'll be sure to discipline her. As a matter of fact, I'm grounding her for being such a potty-mouth."

"Bull. Shit." Suwako growled, causing the woman to gasp.

"Okay-gotta-go-bye!" Sanae grabbed her ancestor and immediately ran off with her in tow. Once she was out of the snoopy woman's range, Sanae placed Suwako back on her feet. "I should have known that this would happen. Why were you drawing attention to yourself like that anyway?"

"Drawing attention?" Suwako was mean-mugging her descendent cutely. "That crane game is a mark of pure evil, Sanae! It's rigged! Do you have any idea of how maddening it is to see a prize slips from it's grasp at the very last second? Five times in a row?"

Sanae sighed, at least Suwako had a point. "Regardless, keep your anger to a minimum and stop swearing. You're just a little kid... at least, that's how the public see you."

"I'm not a kid!" Suwako retorted. "I'm the Highest-"

"...of The Native Gods, I know," Sanae finished, using her ascot of her uniform to wipe the sweat off her brow. "Too bad today's society wouldn't believe you're a earth goddess that's over three thousands years of age even if you told them."

"Watch it, Sanae..." Suwako warned, not appreciating the fact that her child was referencing her true age.

"I apologize, Suwako-sama." Sanae replied and gave a courteous bow. "But you are going to have to behave like your implied age. No wonder that woman confronted you when she heard you cussing like a madwoman."

"If that child confronts me again, I will beat her ass like a madwoman," Suwako huffed. "Honestly, people should mind their own business. That mortal was about to receive an unholy beat-down. I even had a flashback of one of the uglier moments of the Suwa War."

"Hey Moriya!" Kanako shouted, playing at an old arcade cabinet. "It's Galaga, girl! Come get some!"

With a mischievous gleam in her violet eyes, Suwako cracked her knuckled. "I love a challenge. It's on now, Kana!" Putting on her game-face, the diminutive divinity trotted towards the arcade classic and sat on the game stool beside Kanako. "So, how are we going to do this? We're going for a single blaster challenge again?"

"Doesn't matter," Kanako was already concentrating on the game, obtaining a double-blaster. "Give it your all for what it's worth."

Suwako was fiddling her fingers together with a sinister gesture. "Excellent."

While the gods were occupied with their contest, a young girl entered the arcade. The young stranger wore a dark blue school uniform that was exactly like Sanae's. She was Sanae's age, sixteen or so. Her long hime styled hair gave her a somewhat regal appearance- like a feudal princess... or a certain eternal beauty from the moon. She approached the Tekken machine that Kanako and her miko was playing mere moments ago, watching the said game's attraction mode. However, she watched the virtual characters beating the crap out of one another with a noticeably blue look on her face. The green haired godling noticed the girl because of the familiar uniform.

Coincidentally, Sanae may know this stranger. Ain't that a bitch?

A student from school, eh? Sanae thought as she took in the girl's pretty features. She looks familiar...

"Not good!" Kanako was having some difficulties with the game now. "My double-blaster's gone!"

More power to the loli frog goddess. "Ah! Ha! Ha! What's wrong, Kana-chan? You're just not on the seventh level. You're slippin' already?"

A drop of sweat appeared on the storm goddess' temple as she struggled with the game's difficulty. "Tch!"

"Do it!" Suwako cheered for the primitive game's AI. "Kick her ass, space invaders!"

"Shut. Up!" Kanako growled.

"Don't concentrate on me," Suwako remarked innocently. "You better concentrate on that game."

BOOM!

"Why you little-!" Kanako made a grab for Suwako's neck but missed.

"Hey! Hey! You have two tries left." Suwako reminded. "You better go for broke, old lady!"

Kanako growled and everyone present in the arcade could have swore they heard a rumble of thunder despite the blips, beeps, and other sound effects from the video games.

Once again, Sanae sighed. She wouldn't be surprised if there was a massive storm cloud hovering above their current location by now. It couldn't be helped, though. Both Kanako and Suwako were bound to get into a wrangle every once in a while. They've been doing so for well over two thousands years- long before many nations of the world obtained their identities. Sometimes their bickering was so comedic it was almost as if they were fated to be a Manzai pair. A humorous duo on a divine level, that is.

"You're scared as a hooker in church, Kana-chan." Suwako cackled. "It's stage nine and you're sweating like a sumo-wrestler. That poor pink shirt of yours is going to be dark red by time your game's over."

"Roll your old ass over and croak already," Kanako relayed in frustration, more thunder boomed on the horizon. "I'm not done, yet!"

While the ancient ladies were fussing with each other, Sanae decided to excuse herself. Ooh. This may take longer than I thought. With the way they're acting right now, I may never get a chance to challenge them on this game. Wait, maybe I can... "Hey, I'm going back to play Tekken a little bit longer." She announced. "Try not to kill each other, okay? Have fun."

"Got your eyes on that cutie over there, huh?" Suwako said without looking at her descendent. "Careful, Sanae... it's always the cute ones that are surprisingly good at combat games."

Sanae froze on the spot, manga panel white. "Say what?"

Suwako's only response was whistling innocently.

"Whatever," scoffed Sanae as she resumed her way towards the familiar schoolgirl. At a glance, it seems that the girl wasn't interested in playing the game. Instead, she was only sitting in front of the machine with a brooding look on her face. "Hey, you mind if I take a seat?" Sanae asked, attempting to spark a conversation.

The girl took a moment to switch her attention from the game's opening scenes to Sanae. The pensive expression of hers vanished, replaced by a friendly smile. "No problem. Go right ahead. At least you're nicer than the guys that comes up and start playing away."

"I see..." Sanae said, not quite catching what the girl meant.

"I know it may sounds weird, but I like to watch Tekken's attract mode. I can't really explain why," the girl continued, flipping her long black tresses. "Besides, the opening movie of this game is pretty awesome. It really gets the player pumped for the action. Plus, that Jin Kazama's one hell of a guy, don't ya think, Sanae?"

Sanae was taken slightly by surprise. This girl knew her name. "Wait a minute... now that I think about it... you do seem familiar."

"Heh, why am I not surprised?" The noirette giggled. "We take gym class together and I'm always asleep in our Chemistry class."

Recognition dawned. "Oh! Your name's Haruna Shindo. You transferred here two years ago."

"That's me. Nice to meet you. Again," Haruna joked. "We shared a class back in eighth grade as well."

"Forgive me for not remembering you, Haruna-san," Sanae replied in earnest. "Though you are pretty quiet and I don't blame you for dozing off in Chemistry class. Nakatani-sensei's lecture are too monotonous. And he wonders why half the class falls asleep during his teachings."

Haruna guffawed cutely, her smile bright. "Isn't that the truth? Thank goodness for tutors!"

Sanae laughed along with her classmate. "That's the only reason we're passing his class in the first place!"

The younger girl wiped a mirthful tear from her eye, "Humph! Someone should bring along an audio recorder to class someday. Nakatani-sensei really needs to hear how he sounds during his lectures. I wouldn't be surprised if he doze off to dream land himself."

"I dunno," Sanae grinned. "He probably likes to hear himself talk."

"Shoot. I doubt that," Haruna remarked with a scoff. "I bet that man wouldn't last five minutes if he heard his own lectures. You'll be surprised."

"Now that you've mentioned it, I should voice record someone I know," the young Moriya priestess considered. "I bet my allowance that she'll be appalled by the way she sounds."

Speaking of someone she knew, Suwako was cheering in triumph. "Ah! Ha! Ha! I did it! I won a prize! Finally!"

The girls gazed towards the source of the high-pitched voice. "I thought that you were still playing that old shooter with Kanako." Sanae stated, being careful not to refer to the little blonde as Suwako-sama around her classmate.

"Oh ho ho!" Suwako pranced towards the schoolgirls with her prize in tow. "Kana's still playing the game. She's better than I thought- I'll give her that. But enough about that game and that hag, look at what I won."

"It's cute," Haruna immediately perked in uncertainty. "In a weird kind of way..."

"Hmm..." Sanae stared at her many times grandmother's prize. What Suwako held in her hands was a large pale brown hat with large googly eyes on the top of it. Odd thing was that the hat almost seems to be sentient- alive. To be honest, it was creeping the girls out. "Congrats, I guess. It would make a great gardening hat."

"Are you kidding me?" Suwako placed the hat on her head. "I'm going to wear this thing from now on. Starting from this moment, this hat and I are inseparable. Every time you see me from now on you'll see this here prize. Besides, I spent a part of your college fund trying to win a prize out of that rigged machine."

Sanae noticed the slip-up. "You... what?"

Suwako quickly recovered, changing the subject. "Uh, why don't you introduce me to your friend, Sanae-chan? Apparently you two attend to the same school."

The wind fujo gave her ancestor a glare that obviously meant 'this isn't over'. "Suwako, this is my classmate, Haruna Shindo." She turned to regard her dark haired schoolmate. "Haruna, this is Suwako Moriya, my little cousin."

"Little cousin?" Suwako wondered with a scrunched expression. Sanae kicked her in the shin before she could clarify her true identity. "Ow!"

Haruna noticed the interaction between them and wanted to laugh. You sure can't choose the people in your family! "Hi there. It's nice to meet you."

"Yea- same here. Ow..." Kero-chan grunted as she rubbed her now aching shin.

"Oh yeah!" Kanako cried victoriously. "I've toppled the game's high score! I still got it, baby! Let's see can you beat that, Suwa!"

"Whatever!" Suwako yelled in turn. "I'm having your score for breakfast, Kana!"

"People still play Galaga?" Haruna found the grape haired woman indulged in a classic fascinating. "Who would of ever thought. My mother loved that game."

"Heh, your mother has pretty good tastes, then," Suwako acknowledged, earning a glare from Sanae. "Nowadays, you have these crazy ass high-definition, high tech, eye burning shooting games that can give you an aneurysm. Ah, I miss the classics."

Haruna gave Suwako a long stare. "Did she just say a cuss word? What is she, eleven?"

Suwako's blood suddenly boiled. The nerve of this child! She's getting sick and tired of people assuming that she's just a little kid. "Listen sweetheart, just so you know- Ugh!" Her descendant kicked her again. "Stop kicking me!"

"Hush. You're misbehaving again, little missy!" Sanae berated but deep down she has regrets for treating Suwako like a child. The little goddess is going to have her ass on a platter once they return to the shrine.

Suwako's eyes twitched, her expression dark. "You know, Sanae, your mouth is definitely writing a check that your ass cannot cash. Keep it up and I'll give you a beating that you'll never forget."

Luckily, Suwako's little threat went unnoticed because Haruna's phone suddenly rang. "Oh. It's mom."

The ring tone sounded familiar to Sanae. "Is that Bad Apple?"

Haruna nodded with a big grin and answered her cell. "Hi Mom. What's up? Yea, I'm at the video arcade right now, killing time..."

While the noirette was speaking to her mother on her phone, Suwako decided to confront Sanae. She glared at her child in pure unappreciation. "You know, it's pretty messed up about how you're addressing me in public, Sanae." Little Kero said in a low voice so only Sanae could hear. Her tone was serious and scalding, imposing divinity. "So I have the appearance of a child, that is true. But I am still your grandmother and you will address me as so. You will respect me."

The godling's heart-rate accelerated at the goddess' authoritative tone. "Please forgive me. I meant no disrespect in any way or form." Sanae bowed solemnly. "It's just that how will people react if they were to ever find out that you're my ancestor? Let alone the fact that you're a god."

Suwako tilted her head in thought, looking totally adorable even with that weird hat on her head. "Hmm. I understand where you're coming from. As a matter of fact, your great-great grandmother said the very same thing many years ago."

"You and Dad are at it again?" Haruna spoke in disbelief, oblivious to the conversation besides her. "Who was drunk this time? Huh? You don't mean that, Mama. You're just angry. Both of you are angry."

Suwako overheard what Sanae's classmate just said. Although she wasn't really being nosy. "Family problems. Sounds like trouble in paradise." Suwako noted. "Speaking of dysfunction, your eight times great-aunt, Sayuri, was a glaring example of it. Ooh... raising that child back in the 1680s was hell. I remember having to whoop her ass almost everyday until she was fourteen. By the others of my kind, that girl was rebellious!"

"Suwako-sama!" Sanae said through gritted teeth. She was a bit embarrassed about hearing about such an insubordinate woman in her ancestry. "You shouldn't speak ill of our family."

"I'm not speaking ill of Sayuri at all, Sanae," Suwako nodded. "I'm just telling the truth. That girl was no joke! She lied often to her mother and she didn't like me that much. She downright hated Kana, though I kinda agree with her on that part..."

Sanae sighed in resentment. The Highest of the Native Gods should be ashamed of herself. If anything, Sanae was beginning to think that her great-aunt's malevolent nature came from Suwako herself. It was a wonder if Sanae was anything like the diminutive earth goddess.

"Divorce! You two are considering a divorce?" Haruna gave a bitter laugh in the guise of a girlish giggle. "Don't make me laugh, Mama. You had a long day a work today. Maybe you should get some rest..." Her mother mentioned something and a blush suddenly invaded her face. "Boyfriend? Well... no Mama. Kaede's like a little brother to me. And why would you think that a younger person would make a better boyfriend? Dad may be younger than you, but... yes? Right. I'll be there shortly."

Sanae sensed something was amiss as the younger girl folded her cellphone in irritation. "Hey? Everything okay, Haruna-chan?"

"It's no big deal." Haruna replied wryly with a flip of her regal-like hair. "My parents are always getting themselves into goofy little arguments. I'm sorry if you overheard the conversation." She propped her elbows on the cabinet, now watching a demo fight between Miguel and Steve Fox with disinterest. She gasped when she felt a soothing hand on her shoulder. "Huh?"

"Looks like it's your cue to leave then," Suwako said assuredly with a wink. "Whether your parents are serious or not, they need you to be there with them. You are the crutch of their relationship- the living, breathing proof of their love."

Sanae's eyes glittered with stars. "S-suwako-sama, uh, I mean, Suwa-chan."

Haruna patted the little blonde on her head as she gave a light smile. "You know? You're pretty wise for a child at your age. What do you know about love and relationships?"

Suwako's bright countenance dispelled and it was now darkening with annoyance. "Wait. What?"

"However, what's odd about what you said..." Haruna faced the game screen again with a sigh. "... is that you're absolutely right. How is it that you know so much about such things, lil' mama?"

Sanae burst out in giggles at the irony. "Lil' mama! Ha! Ha!"

"Well..." Haruna dismounted the chair and gather her school briefcase. "It's time I get up out of here and be on my way home. Glad that I ran into you in here, classmate." She gave a bow and then proceeded to pinch Suwako's cheeks. "And you stay out of trouble, you little cutie!"

"Hey!" Suwako rubbed her now sore cheeks. "Careful with that Kung-Fu grip of yours!"

Haruna responded with a catty smile to Suwako's quip. "My, kids really grow up fast these days, don't they?"

"You've never lied about that." Sanae replied, cradling a glowering goddess in here arms. "Hey, why don't we exchange our contacts? That way we can keep in touch after school and during breaks. You can come visit our place if you like."

"Really?" Haruna was genuinely beaming now. "That sounds like a great idea! Here." She opened her cell and located her number in the information directory. "Sorry. I don't really know my own number by heart." She stuck out her tongue with a silly look.

Sanae dialed the number and saved it to her phone's memory. "Okay. Gotcha. I'll send a text to you later."

"Right. I guess I'll see you guys later." The noirette dismissed herself and left the video arcade.

"What an odd child," Suwako commented.

"Really?" Sanae cast a dubious glance at Suwako. "What makes you think that?"

"She thinks I'm a kid," the little force of nature remarked, her prize tilted on her head.

Sanae smiled mischievously. "Well, she has the right idea. As far as she's concerned, you are a kid."

"I resent that."

"I can't help it. Your reactions are too cute for words."

"All kidding aside, why not inform her that I'm no ordinary kid." Suwako told her child seriously. "In fact, I'm not a child at all. I've been on this earth since long before this island even knew it's name. I've fought off invaders from far away lands that were unknown at the time. I've fought and subjugated the very creatures that many people once thought were invincible." She paused, remembering the prevalent moment like it was yesterday. She resumed talking. "She's a friend of yours, Sanae. It wouldn't hurt to let her know that I'm a god and you're my child."

Sanae gave her ancestor a worried look. "Even if I did tell her everything, do you think that she would believe me? If she does, her faith in you wouldn't be enough. Let alone the fact that we're moving at the end of next month..."

Suwako nodded in understanding with a sagely air about her. "Indeed. You're right. But times are changing, Sanae. True, I believe in the old saying 'the more things change the more they stay the same.' Yet, times are changing faster than what you would think, baby. There's... not enough faith left in this world. I doubt I'll last another fifty years..."

"Don't say that!"

"Ah, but it's true, Sanae..." Suwako continued. "That's why Kanako wants to relocate the shrine to a place where faith is in abundance. She may not look like it, but Kanako scared. My old friend is deathly afraid of vanishing to heaven knows where." Suwako displayed a motherly smile but her grandchild was starting to look sad. "Aw... what's with the long face?"

Sanae hesitated, her eyes were glistening with tears that refused to fall. "How can you talk about death so casually? With you two gone then... I'll be alone. That's why I completely agree with Kanako decision to move the shrine. We can start a new life there. There... you don't have to worry about any shortages of faith."

"Hmm. For someone that has lived as long as I have... I discarded the perception of death as a mean to an end ages ago." Suwako said, in complete 'old hag' mode. "Who knows... death my very well mean a new beginning. That probably explains why Kanako's so attached to this mortal world. I remember when she was a wee little child she used to-"

"What was it that you remember about me when I was a child?" Kanako spoke as she approached the Moriyas. She came to a halt before them and her bountiful chest bounced slightly as she placed her hands on her shapely hips. Suwako gave the much younger goddess a dirty look (possibly envious). "Reminiscing the good ole glory days, huh?"

Staring at Kanako's long-sleeved blouse, Suwako suddenly hated the color pink. "My... that looks like a mighty ill-fitting shirt you have on. What's wrong? You're unable to find anything in your size?"

Kanako gasped. "It was on sale, thank you very much!"

"You work at the very same store you brought that outfit from." Suwako continued. "Surely you could of ordered something to fit those melons of yours. Hey, I know! Buy something from the plus-size store down the street from where you work at."

"Ooh..." Sanae sounded but she instantly shut the hell up when Kanako gave her a glare.

"Just so you know, I'm still considered a slender woman." Kanako retorted truthfully. "Besides, there are men out there that loves the sight of a well-rounded woman. Jealous much, Suwako?"

The storm goddess was right. "S-screw you!" Suwako gave her rival the middle finger, the sagely aura of her gone completely. "Enjoy your back pains, hag!"

"You're just jealous because you were a C-cup at most during your prime." Kanako whack-attacked. "And speaking of your prime... what is up with that hat? It's weird. It looks a lot like the straw hat you used to wear centuries ago."

Suwako plopped the hat off her head and beamed. "This? Isn't it awesome! I just won it while you were getting your butt kicked in that game."

Kanako leaned forward to take a closer look at Suwako's prize. "It... looks like it's alive. With it's wide glaring eyes it would give anyone the creeps."

Sanae nodded in agreement. "Uh-huh." She cowered when Suwako gave her a hot look.

"And that's not all, Kana-chan!" Suwako looked like a kid in a candy store. "I even gave it a name!"

"Say what?"

"What is it, Suwako-sama?"

"Pyonta!"

GENSOKYOU OUTSKIRTS

THREE YEARS LATER

The skies displayed a beautiful hue of violet this evening. The view of the sun was slowing vanishing beyond the horizon, bringing dawn in the Occident. The waters off the coast of the highway were calm. A crowd of seagulls hovered over the rocky shore in hope of catching their evening meal. There's hardly traffic on the national route during the past hour. So far, it has been a peaceful evening.

A smart-phone's ringtone interrupted the silence of the evening and it's owner sighed. She rejected the phone call and a voice message appeared shortly afterward. He's blowing up my phone again...

BEEP

'Haruna. Honey... it's me.' A male's voice announced.

The young woman sighed in annoyance, the tresses of her dark bob cut hair flowing in the breeze. She leaned over a metal rail and tossed a pebble to the calm waters below. What does he want now?

'I understand that you're still angry with me, Princess.' The voice continued in an apologetic tone. 'Of course, you have every right to be angry...'

Haruna pouted. Apparently, her old man was drowning with self pity. You're damn right I'm angry, Dad! It wasn't far! It still hurts!

'I'm sorry, baby. Please forgive me... I never should have kept the existence of your older sisters a secret from you... And... I regret divorcing your mother...

You took her for a fool! Haruna mentally screamed. But it's all good. Even though Mama has her ways, I'm glad she grew tired of your bullshit. A dark smile graced her lips.

'I've messed last Spring. I know I did...' Her father persisted sadly. 'It was a huge mistake on my part. But know this: living alone with you for your senior year were among the happiest days of my life. I was glad to be there during your last term of high school...

You was hardly around! I was the one who maintained the apartment while you were out chasing women in the streets! I even had to work two temporary jobs in order to keep up to date with the bills! Haruna's mind raged as she gritted her pearly whites. I've should of went along with Mama after the divorce, but NO! You wanted to claim me in order for you deceive people that you're not the deadbeat father that you're truly are!

'Baby... I...'

The phone went silent as the message timed out.

"Now he wants to pretend that he's hurt because I've decided to move out," Haruna said in a huff and tossed another pebble into the Pacific. "He shouldn't miss me, though! He was hardly there with me to begin with! I understand that his work schedule was hectic from time to time, but being absent for several weeks is ridiculous!"

The now short haired noirette turned her attention from the ocean towards the vehicle behind her. The teal colored Pontiac Grand Prix was her mother's last gift to her before the divorce. The sports car was a mid-nineties model, a two-door coupe. She had almost an hour or so before she reached the city limits of Osaka. Her mother has been living in Japan's business capital for over a year. Since it was a business oriented city, Haruna thought that it would be a great idea to enroll in college there.

She opened the driver's door ajar and gave the evening scene one last look. "I'm free. From now on, I don't have to take nothing from that irresponsible man. I'm going to be with Mama again..." She mounted the driver seat and closed the door. She placed the key into the ignition and...

The car didn't crank. "That's weird..." She tried to start the car again. No response. "What in the world is going on here? There's a new alternator in here for Pete's sake!"

Ju-ju-ju-ju-ju!

"Oh hell no!" Haruna spat in disbelief, royally pissed. "Don't tell me that I'm stranded! Damn it!"

She tried to rev the car once again.

Ju-ju-ju-ju-ju-ju!

"Isn't this a bitch!" Haruna punched the horn on the steering while and there was no sound. "Dead battery! You've gotta be kidding me! Freakin' American-made vehicles!" She took her cell out from her skirt pocket and dialed a number. However, she was in for a little surprise. "No signal? I can't even call the national highway service! Ugh! This day just keeps getting better and better." Powering off her cell, she sighed in pure irritation. She calmed down once she noticed an open path in a forest several yards away. "Wait. Maybe there's a small rural area nearby. I should take a look. I hope I can find an auto parts retailer there."

The noirette took out her purse from the dashboard compartment and reached for her backpack in the back seat. She stepped out of her transportation and made sure she didn't leave anything important before locking the doors. She gazed at the forest path onto the left of the highway with hope. "Hopefully, this wouldn't take long." The little pretty crossed the road and entered the forest route. However, there was something strange about the route. The moment she stepped foot on the unpaved road she felt something slightly different about the very essence of the forest. The slight drop in temperature was immediately noticeable, but Haruna wasn't complaining. She actually welcomed the mild air compared to the scorching heat that prevailed earlier today.

Country air... Haruna thought to herself with a tiny grin. Definitely feels good, though. Though it's the middle of summer, it feels a little like autumn here. The width of the road widened as she continued her trek through the forest. She picked up her pace, the hood of her sleeveless shirt waving in the breeze. She grew curious as she noticed several cherry blossom petals were now littering the ground. More curious, when she realized the absence of cherry blossom trees. She haven't saw such a tree on this road yet. Strange. Very strange.

A few minutes later, a few tombstones were aligned on the path. If there were tombstones then that must mean that civilization was nearby. Haruna didn't like graveyards, let alone walking among them. The gods bless the dead. I can't turn back now. She thought. There must be a town up ahead. Hmm... maybe I check my phone's signal. She brandished her cell once again and turned it on. Tch! I still don't have a signal! Just what is going on here? Moving further along the path she saw the presence of very tall trees and more pink petals on the path. Still, there weren't any presence of cherry blossom trees.

The trees that she now saw were very tall. Some of them could easily rival those of multi-tiered buildings in the city. Those very trees made the dusky sky seemed darker than it already was. A murder of crows suddenly scattered among the shrubbery of the seemingly peaceful forest. The sudden outbreak of crows made Haruna yelp in surprise. "Yikes!"

Crows. Haruna didn't like crows. Creepy, beady-eye critters they were. Those birds are universally known as a symbol of darkness and death. Knowing that fact, Haruna was getting a little scared now. First she was walking along a path with tombstones on it, and now there were crows in the picture. She had a bad feeling about this. Many of the crows relocated to the heights of tall trees and some of them were now staring at Haruna with a haunting curiosity. Why are they staring at me?

It was then those pesky birds began their infuriating cries.

Grawh!

Caw!

Rrraawwgh!

"Argh!" Haruna covered her ears. "What's with these birds? They need to be killed – every last one of them!"

Then, something suddenly shot from the shrubbery the crows were inhabiting mere moments ago. It moved so fast that it was only a blur. The only thing that could be identified about the object that it was black. Haruna yelped and held her skirt down from the force of the sudden wind. Then she remembered something...

"Silly me!" She said to herself, blushing. "I'm wearing skorts. I don't have to worry about any cheap panty shots."

However, Haruna's novel moment was cut short because of the disturbance in the trees. The crows were now cawing and shrieking. They scattered from the trees as if their lives depended on it. Judging from the urgency of their cries Haruna knew something was wrong. She contemplated on going back to the highway and hitchhike for a ride. "Maybe I should head back. I'm sure that someone will come along and give me a ride."

Haruna stepped on a twig, and a high-pitched voice sang, "Is that so?~"

At the sound of the voice, relief washed over Haruna. "Phew... I'm glad I'm not alone. Watched too many horror movies back in the day."

The voice giggled. "Hee hee hee! You were scared?"

Haruna wasn't amused. Great. Some country little kid playing a game with me. Well... now I know that there's a town up ahead. "Hey, kid, wherever you are, this isn't funny."

The laughter dwindled. "Is that so?~" She echoed.

Poor kid. Her parents must have been dope fiends, Haruna thought. "Where are you? Come on out! I'm a little lost and I may need your help."

CRUNCH!

"Okay," the mystery girl was eating something now. "Let me... nom... finish... yomp... my snack." Gulp.

Haruna's thin brows became check marks. "You're done?"

"Yep! Uuurp!"

A mangled crow's skeleton fell to the ground in front of Haruna. The young noirette gasped. "Is this some kind of sick joke? Just show yourself already."

"Behind you."

Haruna whipped around on her heels. Whoever this kid was... it was fast! She could have sworn that the voice was coming from somewhere high up in the trees. She took a good look at the kid... only to discover that the kid was not really a 'little' kid at all. Haruna beheld a blonde girl with wide red eyes that was a bit over half her size. The girl was wearing a black vest and skirt, with a long white blouse underneath it. There was a red tie around the blouse's collar along with a red ribbon on her head. She wore maroon colored loafers on her feet and black thigh-highs adorned her small legs. "Hi there!"

The blonde girl was up in a tree that was right in front of Haruna. She found the girl's pose to be very strange, having her arms spread out. "Get down from up there." Haruna commanded. "You're gonna hurt yourself."

Rumia tilted her head sideways. "Is... that... so?~"

"Why do you keep saying that?" Haruna was now wondering about the girl's sanity. "Just get down from up there already." Haruna was well aware that people that were raised in rural areas (and backwoods) had the tendency to be a bit more active than those raised in metropolitan areas, but what this girl was doing was ridiculous!

"Okay!" Rumia announced and jumped off the tree, spiraling in midair. She landed on her feet behind Haruna in a very graceful manner. "Ta-daa!"

Haruna was actually applauding Rumia's performance. "Wait. What?"

"My name's Rumia," the youkai of darkness introduced as she approached the bigger girl slowly. Haruna noted that Rumia was the size of an average early teen. Another thing about the blonde was the fact that Haruna found her cute. "I'm still hungry, ya know. That bird was only an appetizer."

"What bird?" Haruna asked. Then realization sudden struck her as she gazed at the pile of bones. "Are you talking about that over there?"

"Yes, yes!" Rumia confirmed as a fang appeared. "It was a tasty bird, but it didn't satisfy me. Maybe I should eat something else..."

The poor thing! Haruna thought, cringing about the fact that Rumia just consumed raw and uncooked food. It was kinda gross. Even elite warriors cooked their meals. She's making me think about the Big Boss from Snake Eater... An idea suddenly occurred to her. "Hey. I have some chocolate candy in my backpack. Maybe that will hold you over until..."

"You smell like strawberries!" Rumia commented, salivating.

"No I don't," Haruna said as she knelt down in order to search her backpack. "I'm wearing Sean John..."

"You're tonight's dinner!" Rumia sang with a predatory smile. "I'm going to eat you now!"

Haruna wasn't sure she heard Rumia correctly. "Just a second, kid. I got ya. Here!" She dug out a box of chocolate Pocky and smiled triumphantly. Rumia suddenly yanked Haruna by her hair and pulled the bigger girl towards her. "YAH! Watch the hair!"

"You smell so good!~" Rumia cupped the noirette's face and began licking it. To anyone that didn't know any better, it looked like Rumia had ensnared Haruna in a deep, passionate kiss... but it wasn't the case. Little Rumia was about to chow down on some supple human flesh! "Itadakimasu!" The little youkai's fang scrapped against her victim's left cheek before she got free.

"What is with you, kid!" Haruna screamed as she was backing away on her haunches. She noticed the stinging sensation on her cheeks and her eyes stretched in horror. "Wait! Did you said that you were going to... gulp... actually eat me? Please tell me that you were joking."

Rumia nodded. "Nope."

"You're serious aren't you?"

"Yep. Attacking humans is a youkai's job! Plus, humans are delicious!"

"Say what!" The noirettes's pupils constricted with immense fear. This wasn't some random peculiarly strong cute little country bumpkin, this was a youkai! This girl was an actual monster – a legendary being! Haruna heard of these things in many folklore. "Don't come near me!"

"Ahh!" Rumia's grill now looked like a bear trap. "You're mine! Rrraaaagh!"

One small step for Rumia... one huge leap for her stomach!

"KYAH!" Haruna shrieked as the ravenous girl pounced upon her. Rumia spread her prey's thighs in spread-eagle style. To Haruna's terrifying surprise, this girl was strong! This girl had the strength of a horny three hundred pound man that's just been set free from prison after a decade! Rumia kept Haruna's legs in such an embarrassing position by holding her by the knees. She simply cannot believe this little cretin's strength. "No! Get off me! It can't end like this!"

"Quit squirming!" Rumia commanded, salivating on her victim's face. "There's nothing you can do! Just let it happen!"

"You're hurting me!" Haruna felt the muscles in her thighs ache as Rumia kept them apart. Gosh... that didn't sound right, didn't it? Of course, Rumia has Haruna on her back with her legs wide open and... and... "Kyah! You're still stretching me!"

"Grr! You talk too much!" Rumia complained as she tried to take a bite at Haruna's collarbone. "I hate it when my food talks too much!"

"You're not having me for dinner, you little creep!" Haruna declared and used both of her hands to smash Rumia's eardrums.

"Ugh!" Rumia recoiled painfully from the sudden pressure on her ears. "That really hurt, ya know! I hate it- ACK!"

Rumia's complaint was interrupted because Haruna punched her on the forehead. "Ouch..." Haruna hissed as she retracted her fist, blowing on her aching knuckles. "What the hell?"

"You'll pay for hitting me!" Rumia snarled, only to get struck in the nose and on her tummy with a one-two combination. "Gah! Oof!"

"Holy mother of pearl!" Both of Haruna's fist were aching. She might as well be punching a three hundred pound ex-con since the blonde had the strength of one. "Just what are you made of?"

Rumia rubbed her nose and gave the noirette an odious glare. Apparently, those blows hurt because the youkai of darkness had tears in her eyes. "Grr... You harm me! I hate you! I'm going to really hurt you before eating you! YAAAAH!"

Haruna reached inside her duffel for something as Rumia approached her. Where is it? Where is the damn thing? I knew I brought it along with me! Relief arrived when she felt a familiar cool object. "I found it! I- Kyah!"

Rumia was swift. By the time Haruna found what she was looking for, Rumia had already grabbed her by her left leg. With an ungodly tight grip on her calf Rumia lifted the noirette into air effortlessly. Then she brought her down back to earth with a slam. "Take that!"

"Augh!" Haruna gritted her teeth, surprised by Rumia's strength once again. She's too strong! I can't fight her! Looks like I have no choice! I have to spray her and make a run for it!

"Now stay down!" Rumia blustered in fury. She was still holding onto Haruna's calf. She raised her prey's leg and proceed to take a bite...

That is... she tried to take a bite out of her left leg.

SSSSKKIIIIII!

Rumia was suddenly assaulted by an overwhelming scent of passion fruit. "UUUWWHOOOAAA!"

Haruna's left foot slipped from Rumia's grip (and shoe). She gazed in her hand and realized that she sprayed her assailant with perfume. It's not exactly what she was looking for, but it worked! "Told ya that I don't smell like strawberries!"

Rumia's response was a blind backhand swing. However, it hit it's mark as Haruna flew several yards away from her. She hit the ground and rolled ungraciously to a halt near a tree. "Ugh..." Haruna grunted as she slowly got back on her feet. There was a pink slap mark on her face and she now realized that she was sent rather far away from Rumia's bitch-slap. "Damn. Anyone got the number of that mack truck?"

"Uwaaah!" Rumia cried, totally repulsed by the strong perfume. "What the hell was that!"

I have to get away from this fool! Haruna swore. Acting on survival instincts (and adrenaline) she proceeded to climb the tree behind her. Maybe I can hide up here.

Rumia spotted her prey immediately. "I see you!~" She made a beeline for the tree.

"Cripes!" Haruna cursed. She kept climbing as high as she could. She cannot afford to let the pissed-off youkai catch her.

"Tee-he! I have to admit, this is fun!" Rumia cackled. She was now climbing the tree as well, and to Haruna's horror, she was only a few branches below. "C'mere!"

"Iyah!" Haruna unleashed a high-pitched scream. Rumia started coughing. Her coughs weren't ordinary coughs either, they were pained coughs from deep within. If she's not mistaken, the blonde youkai was about to regurgitate.

"Pfft!" Rumia spat a pink low-top sneaker from her mouth. "You're definitely from the outside world, girl. You wear strange shoes."

"Strange shoes? STRANGE SHOES!" Haruna shouted in disbelief. She couldn't believe the gall of the seemingly adorable girl! Hell, she couldn't believe how fast she climbed the tree she was currently cowering on! "Those were Nikes!"

"Doesn't matter," Rumia remarked as she wiped her lips, scaring the girl clutching onto the tree branch further. "I don't know exactly what a 'nike' is, but you're not getting away from me!" The darkness girl suddenly hopped on the closest branch like a jungle cat. "Come to Mama, toots! Rumia's hungry!"

Haruna Shindo shrieked in horror once again. Could this be the end? Being eaten by a small blonde who roughly looked thirteen was surely a way to go. Wait...

She still had her backpack on her. If the perfume worked wonders against Rumia, then she could only imagine how the item she was originally looking for would affect her. Haruna fished into the smaller pockets of the bag this time around. "I just know it's in here somewhere!" She exclaimed desperately. "It's gotta be in here!"

"Oh no you don't!" Rumia was now on the same branch that she was on.

"Aha! I found it!" Haruna laughed in triumph as she held up a can of Mace. "Ooh, you're gonna get it now!"

"Nah-uh!" Rumia declared as she made a pounce for her prey. "It's over!"

"Yah!" Haruna sprayed Rumia full-force in the face just as she was closing in on her. "Take that!"

Rumia let loose a strident, shrilling scream as if her soul was being consumed by the very fires of hell. "AAAAAIIIIEEEEEE!" Her face burned, tears rained down her face, mucus erupted from her nose, and saliva poured from her mouth. The next thing Rumia knew, she was falling from the tree. "AAAAAHHHHH!"

THUD!

She fell into a pile of bushes, yammering in pain. Haruna won. She prevailed against a creature that was physically superior in every way. However, while Rumia was sobbing among the shrubbery, another girl came into the picture. She was obviously on alert due to hearing Rumia's potent scream. "Rumia? What's the matter? Rumia!"

"Wah!" Rumia cried, flailing wildly in the bushes. "She sprayed me! That human sprayed me with something mean! Waaaaah!"

"Goodness..." Kogasa Tatara said sympathetically. Plus, it was apparent to her that Rumia fell from a tree. "Are you going to be okay? Where is this human?"

Rumia pointed upwards even though she was temporarily blind. "She's up there!"

"Huh." Kogasa gazed up the nearby tree and spotted a young girl dressed in a pink hoodie with a white tee shirt underneath it. A blue fleece miniskirt adorned her lower body and it appears that she was missing a shoe. The girl was slowly scaling down the tree. "You there!"

Haruna returned to earth and noticed another girl. "Huh?" She hoped that this girl wasn't another freak like Rumia. Plus, she was bigger than the blonde. "What is it now?"

"I take it that my friend here was trying to eat you," Kogasa informed, trying to take on an imposing tone. "But what you've done to her wasn't nice. She could have been seriously hurt."

"What?" Haruna responded in disbelief. The gall of this girl in blue! "Hello! She literally tried to eat me! I had to defend myself! It's survival of the fittest!"

"Uuu-uuuuu..." Rumia whined.

"You see?" Kogasa was failing in the intimidation department. "She's crying her little heart out."

"That little monster got what she deserved!"

Kogasa pouted cutely. "Ooh! You humans! You all think the world revolves around you!"

"Say what? You mean to tell me that you're not a human either?" Haruna surveyed the hetero-chromatic girl. This one was wearing a teal vest with white sleeves along with a short light blue skirt. There was a white pattern encircling the said skirt but Haruna wasn't paying attention to it. Instead, she was paying more attention to the turquoise girl's long shapely legs. While this girl overflowed with cuteness (and sexiness) the large egg-plant colored umbrella she carried gave Haruna the creeps. Wait... the umbrella the girl was carrying... could it be? "You want some of this too, Cutie-Pie?" Haruna threatened, raising her can of mace. "I take it that you're possessed by that umbrella."

"Hmm?" Kogasa wondered. A second later, it dawned on her. "Oh! No. I'm not possessed by anything. As a matter of fact, I am the umbrella. At least... that's what my friends told me."

"Uuu! I'm gonna kill her!" The bushes cried. "Kogasa, get me some water! Quick!"

"Ah... right!" Kogasa nodded.

"Rumia-chan!" Another girl appeared onto the scene. "I heard you screaming from far away! What's the matter? Nue's bullying you again?"

"No, Mystia." Rumia replied, rubbing her face furiously. "It's something worse."

"What?" Mystia wondered.

"I got hurt by a human!" Rumia wailed, the bushes she was in shaking violently.

"A human did this to you?" Mystia said. "It was a youkai hunter, wasn't it?"

"No! It was a human from the outside world!"

Outside... world? Haruna wondered. She knew something wasn't right about this place.

"Where is..." Mystia caught the sight of Haruna. "...this human..." The night sparrow stood to her full height and stared at the newcomer. Mystia didn't know whether to be curious or afraid of the foreigner. "What have you done to Rumia?"

"Tch!" The noirette held the mace at the ready. "Another freak of nature, huh?" Haruna's expression was brave, but her heart wasn't. She was cowering inside. This Mystia girl was bigger than both Rumia and Kogasa. This youkai looked a little dangerous. She had pink wings and long claws for fingernails. Now that she thought about it, those claws of hers looked very sharp. "I don't want to fight you."

"Careful..." Rumia warned. "That weapon of hers is dangerous."

"How dangerous?"

"It can cause even you night-blindness!"

"Oh..."

"Hey Rumia!" Kogasa announced as she returned to the scene. "I got some water! Now hold still while I pour it on ya!" She has filled the umbrella with water from a nearby pond.

SPLASH!

"Wah!" Rumia screamed, her face no longer irritated. "You said pour the water on me, not splash it!"

"It worked, didn't it?" Kogasa giggled. "Your eyes are open again."

Surprise. "Hey!" Rumia blinked her eyes, though the irises were still red. "It worked! Now for my dinner!"

"You're really persistent." Haruna comment with a hint of dread. She doubt that she could take on Rumia again now that she was aware of the mace. "Listen. You can't eat me. I'm probably not good for your health."

"Lie! Humans are the tastiest food in the whole world!" Rumia remarked savagely.

"Listen you! You're going to taste more of this mace if you keep on messing with me!"

Rumia cringed. "Tch!"

"That's enough, the both of you!" Mystia commanded, being the voice of reason. "Rumia, I have made some fresh lampreys a few minutes ago. I'm about to head over to the human village so I'll be sure to give you a few before I go."

Rumia's expression lit up at the thought of Mystia's cooking. "Really? Ooh! Thank you! I'm starving!"

"There's a village nearby?" Haruna was happy about the good news. "An actual place with actual humans, right?"

"Yes. It's a little further up ahead." Kogasa supplied. "Go past the sakura trees of Muenzuka and the Magical Forest and you'll reach the village."

"Magical... Forest?" Haruna wondered if she was loosing her sanity. Just what is this place? "Well... anything's believable now that I met you three."

"Grr..." Rumia gave her new adversary the middle finger.

Mystia sighed and looked towards the sky. The moon was now visible. "It's getting late. That means its dinnertime for most of the people in the village." She skewed her visage at Haruna. "Since I'm heading there, I can take you with me. I'm certain someone there will help you."

The noirette was glad that something was finally going her way. "Thank you! You're such a wonderful and helpful monster, Mystia!"

"HEY!" Kogasa, Mystia, and Rumia exclaimed, glaring in offense.

"Whoops! Sorry... tee-he!" She made a gesture of zipping her lips. That gesture may have saved her from a youkai beat-down.

THE HUMAN VILLAGE

The village they arrived in did not look like a rural town. Nope. The human village looked like an area straight out of the feudal ages. There were many houses of ancient architect and shops lined the streets like a bazaar. Haruna didn't have a doubt in mind that this place was lively during the day. She imagined children and animals running around this village without any cares in the world. As of now, there were a number of adults wandering the streets of the village and she gawked at a certain hairstyle that a few of the men were sporting.

"This is the place. Welcome to the Human Village," Mystia announced, dragging her lamprey stand to a halt. "I get most of my business here despite how late it is."

"Uh-hmm..." Haruna replied with a mouthful of lamprey and gulped. "It's just... I can't believe that some of the men here still rock topknots. It feels like I entered a couple centuries in the past. And the people in the city used to comment on how I looked like a feudal princess a few years ago."

Mystia was curious, taking note of the newcomer's hime styled bob-cut hair. "Did you used to have hair that reaches all the way to your waist?"

"Passed my ass and tickled the back of my calves," Haruna confirmed while shrugging. "Some of my classmates thought that I was a total snob. Heck, there were even a few that thought I was some kind of NEET. Proved those overly opinionated jerks wrong when I enrolled on the girl's basketball team. I even starred on it during my second and third year."

"I see. You should meet Princess Kaguya," the night sparrow suggested with a giggle. "Maybe you can show here that princesses can be active too."

"Wait? There's a princess here?" Haruna's curiosity piqued. "Seriously?"

"More than one, as a matter of fact." Mystia replied before frowning. "However... you... may not want to meet the other princess..."

"Eh?" The noirette was now as curious as a doomed cat. "She must be really prissy? Condescending as hell, am I right?"

"No. Not at all," Mystia explained, a very unpleasant memory resurfacing in her mind. "She's... quite the opposite, actually." The girlish giggles of the said princess resurfaced, reminding her of that terrible moment. Mystia shuddered. "Listen, you're better off just meeting Kaguya instead."

"Actually, I'm not planning to be here long," Haruna sat by a nearby tree, leaning on the base of it. "I'm just here to get what I need and be out." She was about to check the status of her cell again but something occurred to her. "Hold on. Did you say that the princess' name is Kaguya?"

"Yes. That's her name."

Haruna chuckled. "That's one heck of a coincidence! I've played the role of Kaguya for our school's play. Thrice."

Mystia was now confused. "The role... of Kaguya?"

"Yea. Princess Kaguya of the Moon." Kaguya emphasized, pointing towards said satellite in the heavens. "You ever read the Tale Of The Bamboo Cutter?"

"I'm afraid not," the night sparrow remarked. "But you're certainly right about one thing..."

"Yea? What's that?"

"Princess Kaguya is indeed from the moon." Mystia affirmed.

Haruna stared at the pink haired woman as though she had sprouted another head and a pair of testicles. "Say what! You can't be serious, Misty!"

"It's Mystia."

"Right. Mystia." Haruna cleared her throat and pointed towards the moon again. "So you're saying that this Kaguya... is actually from the moon? You're telling me that she is indeed a native of the moon – born and raised?"

"That's right. And now she lives Eientei, a palace to the east of here beyond the Bamboo Forest of the Lost." An imposing female's voice intervened. "I be careful if I were you, the journey there is very perilous."

"Huh?" Mystia wondered.

Haruna shot to her feet. "Who said that?"

"No need to fret, lost one." A nearby dragon statue said.

"What in the world is going on?" Haruna wondered for her poor sanity. "First, monster girls and now a talking statue. This has been one doozey of a day for me!"

"A talking statue? Where?" A red haired woman jumped from behind the statue of Dragon that was obstructing her presence. "I don't see any sort of creature anywhere..."

"Talk about dipping yourself in other people's conversation," Haruna muttered. "Who are you?"

"Me? Oh ho ho..." The redhead dressed in violet robes laughed. "Allow me to introduce myself to you, lost one: I am a champion of this world! I am the royal hammer of justice! I am... KOTOHIME!" The Maniacal Princess exclaimed, spreading her arms out along with her kimono. She blushed when she realized that her kimono was unfastened, revealing the short white yukata underneath. "Whoops!"

"Don't worry," Haruna reassured, unimpressed. "I've seen much shorter school uniforms than that."

"The shortness of my dress has nothing to do with this!" Kotohime's face was a red as her hair.

"Tch. If you got it, flaunt it," remarked Haruna.

"Would you like some lampreys, Kotohime-san?" Mystia offered, preparing a plate for the royal law enforcer. Kotohime was a regular.

"Why thank you!" Kotohime replied in kind, leaving money on the lamprey cart.

Haruna gazed at Mystia."I take it that this is the princess that you were talking about just now? The one that you suggested not to meet."

Kotohime took a bite of her food. "Huh?"

Mystia's face darkened. "No it's not. Kotohime's friendly and... harmless."

Harmless? Haruna thought, leaving the subject alone because Mystia seemed sensitive about it all of a sudden. "I see..." She shifted her gaze towards Kotohime. Said redhead was now licking her fingers. "Excuse me... Officer Kotohime?"

"Just call me Kotohime," the Maniacal Princess informed. "Or better yet, call me Koto-chan! That's what my last boyfriend called me."

Haruna gave the self-proclaimed police officer an uncertain look. The sooner she get's out of here, the better. "Right. Well, you wouldn't happen to know where the nearest automobile parts store at? I take it that you already know that I'm stranded."

"Certainly. Your way of fashion says it all," Kotohime said. "Although... I'm starting to think that Nue girl comes from beyond the border as well. She has a similar style of dress." Confusing suddenly invaded her features. "By the way, what's an automobile?"

Disbelief suddenly invaded Haruna's features. "You... don't know what an automobile is?"

Kotohime nodded her head sincerely. "Afraid not. I'm not really sure what an automobile is..." she noticed a tiny object flying in the sky. Her face suddenly brightened and she pointed towards the sky. "Oh! You mean that! Up there!"

Sure enough, Haruna looked up towards the sky, noticed an airplane, and grunted. "Ugh. Never mind. I may need to look around for a place to stay for tonight. I guess it wouldn't hurt if I stay here until tomorrow."

"All things considered," Kotohime noticed something about the dark haired girl. "You may wanna invest in buying a new pair of shoes. What happened to the left one?"

Haruna gazed at her sock-coated foot and sighed. "A little blonde girl tried to eat me."

"Ooh. It's a surprise that you survived the encounter unharmed." Kotohime noted. "There are some corpses of Rumia's victims laying around Muenzuka. It's likely that they're the corpses of humans from beyond the border because no human from this village would go near that place."

"That's actually where I found her," Mystia told the royal law enforcer. "She was traveling near Muenzuka when she was confronted by Rumia."

"Seems like Rumia's quite popular around here." Haruna muttered.

"Righfully so!" Kotohime exclaimed. "Something that impossibly cute is the last thing that you would expect to try to devour you. I remember being chased in the forest by her when I was a little kid."

Kotohime's little tale baffled Haruna. "Hold up. You remember Rumia chasing you as a kid? That can't be right. She looks fourteen!"

Mystia cleared her throat. "Youkai, remember?"

"I know but-"

"Rumia's been around ever since my parents were children," the redhead princess revealed. "By now, that little man eater is either in her 60s or older."

Haruna pointed a shaky finger at Mystia. "Then if Rumia's around that age... then... how old are you, Mystia?"

"Hey! It's not nice to ask a girl her age," the night sparrow chided.

"Ah! Sorry about that, Mystia." Haruna lowered her head, feeling infinitely inferior to those 'moster girls'.

"Psst!" Kotohime whispered into the outsider's ear. "She's sixty-nine..."

"HEY!" Mystia hollered.

"Anyway," Kotohime giggled. "I'll be taking our outsider friend off your hands, Mystia. It's getting late and I think I know of a place where she can stay at."

"Okay. I have to look for more customers anyway. I grilled a lot of food today and I hate for it to go to waste." Mystia said with a bow. She regarded Haruna. "It was nice to meet you, Haruna. I guess I'll see you around."

"Likewise, Misty- ah, Mystia." Haruna replied and the night sparrow was off with her cart.

"Now..." Kotohime was suddenly looming over Haruna with an intense look on her face.

Haruna noticed the change in the cop's demeanor. It also didn't help that she was significantly taller than her. Kotohime was the tallest girl she encountered since she entered this strange land. Right now, the redhead seemed to intimidate her with her height. "Um... Koto-chan? What's wrong?"

The officer's friendly red eyes were now narrowed in seriousness. "Come along."

"Ah... okay." Haruna replied uncertainly.

HOUSE OF HIEDA

"So." Kotohime began, sitting on the tatami tiled floor before the confused noirette. "What's your gig, kid? What brings you to Gensokyou?"

Something about Kotohime's tone unnerved Haruna. In the very least, the redhead did brought her a pair of shoes and patched the scratch on her cheek with a bandage. "I'm stranded, actually. I just stumbled onto this place when I took-"

"Listen honey, let's cut to the chase," the cop was masking unknown intentions behind a sweet smile. "I would like to know what in the world are you up to."

"Huh?" Haruna drawled, the bad feeling she got growing worse. She gazed at a painting of a dragon combating a great white tiger. The artwork portrayed a conflict between two divine beasts. It was unknown whether the beasts were fighting out of contempt or respect. Below the dragon was a village full of humans and youkai. Underneath the tiger were countless mountains surround by fog and beasts. Haruna was not sure of the symbolism here but she was pretty certain that the dragon was important to this place.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you." Kotohime's voice dispelled her musing. "I'll ask you again: What are you up to?"

"I'm being interrogated, aren't I?" Haruna giggled sheepishly.

"Of course you are!" Kotohime shot to her feet. "As the defender of Gensokyou it is my job to protect it from possible threats beyond it's border! For all I know, you could be a terrorist wrapped in a cute package! A menace to society!"

"Kotohime!" Akyuu No Hieda shouted as she burst into the room. "Keep it down! I can hear you shouting all the way down the hall!"

"But Akyuu-san!" Kotohime pouted cutely. "She could be a criminal! I have to intimidate her!"

"I'm not a criminal, though!" Haruna defended. "How dare you accuse me of being one!"

"Silence!" Kotohime was now armed with a jitte.

"Kotohime, calm yourself," Akyuu commanded and regarded Haruna. "Haruna, was it? I'm sorry that you have to go through this. Kotohime can be really extreme sometimes."

"I guess she's just doing her job," the girl from beyond remarked.

"Indeed," the grape-head chronicler nodded. "Though, it's questionable that if she's really a police officer, Kotohime's a good person."

"I swear my life on protecting this village," Kotohime placed her hand over her heart. "Even if the threats comes from beyond the boundary."

"But I'm no threat!" Haruna shrieked, annoyed by this crazy woman's antics. "I'm lost! Stranded!"

"Well then..." a smirk formed on Kotohime's lips as she crossed her arms. "What's in that bag of yours? If you're not a threat as you say you are, then you will allow me to check the contents of it."

Akyuu couldn't believe her ears. Kotohime was behaving as bad as the time when a youth named Iori Iga stumbled into Gensokyou. "Koto-chan... you're unbelievable."

"Don't be ridiculous!" Haruna snapped. "You're crazy! You know that?"

"Would you like another palm print across your face?" Kotohime asked dangerously, referencing the hand mark that Haruna received from Rumia. "I don't mind slapping a criminal. Call me crazy again and see what happens..."

Haruna glared at the imposing redhead in a challenge.

"Enough!" Akyuu commanded, being the voice of reason. "I won't allow fighting in my house!"

The noirette and the redhead continued their stare-down. "Fine." Haruna allowed the backpack to slide off her shoulders and hit the floor. "Check the damn bag. You're going to feel like a bag of chips once you realize that I'm not a criminal."

"Shush." Kotohime stepped forward with her jitte pointing forward. She knelt down and unzipped the backpack. "Hmm..." She dug out a college preparation textbook. "An aspiring scholar, eh? A good fraction of terrorists are educated, ya know."

"This is unnecessary, Koto-chan!" Akyuu said. "That is an invasion of privacy! What you're doing goes against regulations of being a law enforcer."

"Screw the rules, my name is Kotohime!"

"She doesn't give a damn, apparently." Haruna muttered.

The cop took out a hairbrush, a magazine, four manga volumes, and an iPod. "Yep. You're definitely from the outside world. But I'm not done yet, kid!"

"Gee, ya don't say?" Haruna sarcastically remarked.

"Koto-chan, give it a rest!" Akyuu pleaded. "You're being way too troublesome for your own good."

"Oh! What's this?" The redhead fished out a shopping bag that contained a pair of designer panties. "Pretty intricate design on these... and it's just my size to boot!"

Haruna's jaw dropped. "Hey! Now you're going a little too far!"

Akyuu nodded her head shamefully. By the eight millions gods! This woman needs help!

Kotohime dug out another textbook, a 3DS, and a small box of pocky. "So far, so good." She mentioned, opening the box and eating a pocky. "I could be wrong about you, kid..."

Haruna gave her the skunk eyes."I'd appreciate it if you stop eating my snack."

"Whoa! Wait a minute?" The deranged law enforcer took out a cool metal can in suspicion. "You're not off the hook. What's this?" She sauntered towards the dark haired girl, forcing her to a wall. "Don't play with me."

Great! Haruna thought. Now she's going to think that it's a weapon. Well, technically it is. "That's Mace. A tool for self-defense."

"Therefore..." Kotohime's red eyes glinted. "This is a weapon!"

"No it's not!" Haruna defended but the princess wasn't having any of it. She suddenly shoved Haruna to the wall violently. "ACK!"

"Kotohime!" Akyuu gasped. "Stop this at once!" She was afraid because there was nothing she could do right now. Once the cop goes off the deep end, there's hardly no stopping her.

"Don't... lie... to... me!" Kotohime warned, grabbing the noirette by her collar.

"Let go of me!" Haruna snapped, trying to free herself from the crazy woman's gasp.

"Shut up! You pranced your pretty little behind into our land, acting all cute and innocent while carrying a weapon!" Kotohime placed the can into her sleeve. Then with surprising strength, she proceeded to lift the noirette off her feet by her collar.

"Why!" The Child of Miare was crying now. "Why are you being so horrible, Koto-chan!"

"This is an affront to the criminal mind!" Kotohime proclaimed, not taking her intense eyes off the teenager that was dangling in her grasp. "This is a blow for justice! I have to do what needs to be done! This youth needs to be punish!"

"Ngh! You're crazy!" Haruna swore. "Scorching insane!"

"No! You're the one who's crazy if you think you can terrorize our beautiful land of Gensokyou!" Kotohime lifted her victim higher as she rose on her toes. "The pot calls the kettle black!"

It was then Haruna saw her savior. The can of Mace seemed to shine brightly in the darkness of the cop's wide sleeves. Arresting the opportunity, Haruna made a grab for the can and snatched it from the inside of Kotohime's sleeve. Once it was out, she pointed the can directly in front of the redhead's face. Be damned if I don't, be damned if I do! This has to stop!

Kotohime's eyes expanded, having a very bad feeling about this development. "Wait! What are you-"

Haruna sprayed the Mace.

SSSSHHHHHHHH!

Haruna was immediately on the floor and a extremely high-pitched scream resounded through the Hieda household. "AAAAIIIIIIEEE!"

Akyuu muffled her ears because the cop was screaming so loud!

Haruna sat back on her haunches and felt victorious. However, she soon felt very sorry for the cop as she staggered and fell over a table. "Oh no. I overdid it."

"KYAAAAH!" Kotohime was sobbing like an infant with her hands covering her face. "WHAT IS THIS! AAAAIIIEEE!"

Akyuu was sitting in a corner, cowering. Hearing the Maniacal Princess screaming like the world's coming to an end terrified her! "I don't hear her! I don't hear her! I can't hear her! I can't hear her!"

"IT BURNS!" Kotohime wailed, flailing and kicking. "IT BURNS SO MUCH! KYAAAH! HORRIBLE TERRIBLE PAIN!"

Hearing the cries of the once proud princess, Haruna's heart bled. She rushed over to the fallen redhead, trying to be of assistance. "Please! Calm down! Don't rub your eyes! The more you rub them the worse it will get!"

"AUGH!" Kotohime held out a hand to the direction of Haruna's voice. "GYYAAAH!"

A burst of danmaku suddenly burst from the princess' hand, hitting Haruna square in her breasts and sending her flying across the room. She fell on top of the cowering chronicler in an ungracious heap. "Yeow! That hurt! What in the heck was that?"

"Haruna... san..." a mop of purple hair beneath the noirette's butt grumbled.

She realized that she was sitting on top of Akyuu. "Ah! Sorry about that, Akyuu-san!" She got off the ancient child.

"Appreciated..." Akyuu gathered herself on one knee. She saw the burn mark on the outsider's shirt and blushed. "Haruna-san... ahem..."

"Eh?" She gazed down her chest and noticed that her black sports bra was shown through the hole of her shirt. Blushing in turn, she immediately zipped up her hoodie. "Yikes. Anyway, what in the world did Kotohime shot me with? How did she-"

"DUCK!" Akyuu shrieked and tackled Haruna to the floor. Then she carried the noirette as she jumped behind a bookshelf. "Danmaku! She must be truly angry!"

"Danmaku?"

"You'll pay!" The sobbing, spitting mess declared behind the fallen table. "YOU'LL PAY!" More multicolored projectiles erupted from behind it.

"Just what in heavens did you sprayed her with?" Akyuu's violet eyes were wide with terror.

"It's called Mace," the outsider explained, reinforcing her weight against the tremble bookshelf. "It's a highly irritable substance that many of us girls carry from where I'm from. It's very handy. You can easily thwart off any assailant with it. I never leave home without it."

Akyuu cringed, feeling sorry for Kotohime. Then again, that deranged woman brought it all on herself. Karma's a bitch. No lie. "It's... very effective."

"You're right. I peppered a girl named Rumia with it earlier."

"I see." Akyuu nodded. "I take it she was as traumatized as Koto-chan right now?"

"Cried like a newborn baby."

"Truly a formidable tool," the Child of Miare expressed. "I'll be sure to account that in the Chronicles."

"Grr!" Kotohime was now on her feet, blasting danmaku in a (temporary) blind rage. "You delinquent! Feel the wrath of Gensokyou's mightiest law enforcer!"

"This is no good! What are we gonna do?" Haruna pleaded.

"I don't know!" Akyuu supplied helplessly. "All we can do is to wait until Koto-chan calms herself down."

"Well she won't be calming herself down anytime soon." Haruna feared for the worse. "Mace is something serious! Without any cold water, that stuff is going to irritate her face for hours!"

"Oh dear..."

At that moment, a blue blur shot into the room. Akyuu sensed the familiar presence as it entered. The next thing she knew...

WAP!

The barrage of bullets ceased along with the redhead's screams. Both the child from beyond and Child of Miare warily peeked their heads from behind the bookshelf. To their shock, the Maniacal Princess was sprawled out on the floor, unconscious. She had a red bruise on her forehead. Akyuu immediately knew who the savior was just by looking at Kotohime's injury.

"Kamishirasawa-san," the little grape-head regarded.

"I heard Koto-chan shrieking like a banshee," the pedagogue of the village reported. She gazed around the den for damages, only to find minor burns on the shelf, a painting, and a small imported tree. "Is everything okay? You're not hurt are you?"

"We're fine, Keine-san." Akyuu responed. "Thank you."

The lovely teacher noticed the young girl behind the historian. "And who might you be?"

Haruna said, "Haruna Shindo, ma'am." Even though the beautiful teacher was young, her poise and essence was beyond her age. "Thanks for taking care of that lady, I guess."

"I'm Keine Kamishirasawa," the teacher replied in kind.

"She's the reason why Koto-chan went lunatic this evening," Akyuu hinted.

"I'm afraid Kotohime done so way before she met Shindo-san." Keine remarked.

"Good point." Akyuu concured.

"I'm terribly sorry for what happened to her," Haruna bowed to the voluptuous hybrid. "She loved her job a little too much and then she attacked me."

"Ooh..." Haruna had the teacher's condolence.

"I... am unstoppable..." The redhead officer mutter in her sleep.

"I'm afraid you headbutted her a little too hard," the reincarnating child noted.

"Oh dear. I had to do something to stop her, Akyuu-san."

"No... n-no one can stand... against me..." Kotohime's unconscious ramblings continued. "Yu... Yukari Ya-ya-ya-yakumo... ain't got shit on me..."

Haruna nodded. "Gosh. Her mother must have dropped her one too many times when she was an infant."

"Very evident in her sanity," Akyuu said. "I can't wait to get a confirmation in order to include her unfortunate past in the Chronicles."

"I am... the... protector of Gensokyou. I am more... than a god... I'm a... superstar."

Akyuu rolled her eyes. "Quite. I have a favor to ask of you, Keine-san."

"Yes?"

"Our friend here is from beyond the border," Akyuu indicated. "By some twist of fate, she somehow stumbled into Gensokyou and now she's lost. Haruna-san requires a place to stay for a while. She must find a contraption that can allow her to use her source of transportation again."

"It's called a car." Haruna informed.

"Right." Akyuu sighed. How could she forget such an easy word?

"Ah. I just saw the priestess of Moriya a few moments ago." Keine perked at a bright idea. "Her and the gods of Moriya are from the outside world as well. They may very well be knowledgeable of what you're looking for, Haruna-san."

"Moriya?" Haruna wondered, familiar with the name.

"Yes. The Moriya shrine is the abode of two powerful goddesses in the mountain." Akyuu explained solemnly, still in awe from meeting one of the said goddesses. One of them looked even younger than Akyuu herself, and she was a least three times her age. "Are you familiar with them, Haruna-san?"

Moriya Shrine? Hmm... "It's kinda funny... but I remember a Moriya household that had a shrine as well back in the city. I was a friend of that household, but I have to wonder were they worshiping the gods that lives here. It's one heck of a coincidence if you ask me."

"Haruna-san..." Akyuu placed her hands on the teen's shoulder. "There's an old saying that I'm well aware that's even said beyond the border: it's a small world."

Keine mouth an 'oh' at the truth of the reincarnating child's words – the simpleness in them.

Haruna made a face. "What are you trying to say?"

"Look into that mirror, child." Akyuu's tone of voice aged several decades. "Gaze upon your reflection. Now... gaze unto mine. What comes to your mind?"

Haruna was slightly confused. Wasn't the little grape-head as crazy as the redhead? "I'm not sure. Uh... we have the exact same hairstyle? The only difference are the colors."

Akyuu smiled for the first time this evening. "I see. You are a wise woman, Haruna-san."

She was still confused. "I... I don't get it."

Honestly, Keine was confused as well. Huh.

Akyuu No Hieda gathered the den's table and sat it back on it's legs. "There's nothing to get, Haruna-san. You're already well aware that it's a small world."

"Yea, but what does that have to do with the Moriya gods? Or gazing at our reflections, for that matter?"

"Kamishirasawa-san."

"Yes?"

"Please escort Haruna-san to the Moriya shrine." Akyuu instructed as she strode towards the door. "I'm sure they will welcome her to stay with open arms."

"Of course." Keine obliged.

"You have a good night, Haruna-san." Akyuu said as she left the room.

Haruna stared at the spot the little historian was at mere moments ago. Just... when did that kid started acting all sagely all of a sudden? And what did she meant by 'small world'?" Haruna sighed. Thinking about today's events were giving her a headache. She certainly hoped the goddesses of Moriya had comfortable beds because she was ready to rest for tonight.

Keine's intelligent voice brought Haruna out of her musings."Ready, Haruna-san?"

"I guess so." Haruna replied uncertainly and gazed at the sleeping princess. "Is she going to be okay here?"

"She'll sleep it off." Keine shrugged. "Well... let's be on our way to the Moriya Shrine."

"Yea." Haruna gathered her belongings the princess scattered on the floor and placed them back inside her backpack.

THE MORIYA SHRINE

"Oh god," Haruna huffed as they approached the torii entrance of Moriya. "I think I've just lost a few centimeters off my breasts while on the way up here." She bend forward and rested her hands on her knees, wheezing. "My breasts are already small to begin with."

Keine turned on her heels and gave the outsider her backpack. To be honest, she thoroughly enjoyed the trek up the mountains. "I'm sorry, Haruna-san. I just thought that this was a good opportunity to exercise. You did mentioned that you've played sports while in high school, correct?"

Haruna plopped on the ground, winded. "Yea. Basketball... but I never thought that I would travel up a mountain... on foot."

Keine giggled. "Well, I am a schoolteacher, Haruna-san. Of course I'm going to challenge any youngster I encounter – mentally and physically."

"You... could of warned me, Keine-san."

"Well, I apologize. We should have flew here instead."

"What a minute? You can fly?"

"Of course. A majority of the natives of Gensokyou can do so," Keine explained, not at all surprised that the young noirette lacked the ability. "With enough training with ki and magic, you should be able to fly in about half a year or so."

"Really!" Haruna's dark eyes brightened. "That would be awesome! Flying would be so convenient in my life! I wouldn't have to worry about taking my little raggedy car everywhere and I no longer have to get on a train. Creepy people board the train from time to time. Perverts, otaku, yakuza, foreigners... I can write a book with that."

"I see." Keine remarked and looked at the entrance of the shrine. "Oh. It seems that the gods are still outside this evening."

Haruna gazed at the entrance and noticed two women sitting on the shrine's porch. "Wait a minute..."

"This Fiddle website is quite a wonder, Sanae," Kanako said with a laptop on her lap. "People seem to post anything that goes in their lives. They fiddle almost every little thing that they do. Whether the events are important or not, they're being posted."

"You find it odd, Kanako-sama?" Asked Sanae while giggling. "It's communication. A very effective way of it, I may add. Milions of people around the world use it every day."

"Ah. I can obviously see the merits of this website." Kanako prodded her chin thoughtfully. "Unfortunately, I can assume that there are just as many detriments of Fiddle as well. I pray that the good outweighs the bad of it."

"I understand," the young priestess of Moriya nodded. "How about checking out Headnotes? It's another popular and useful social site."

Kanako handed the laptop back to Sanae. "That sounds lovely, Sanae. However, I doubt that there are gods still in existence that actually use those social networking sites. Besides, dear... we have company."

Sanae raised her brow. "Company?"

"Good evening, ladies." Keine bowed. "How do you do?" The teacher cleared her throat, indicating the outsider to do the same.

Haruna was staring at the women. "Ah! Nice to meet you!" She greeted the same was Keine did. Deja-vu! These two look REAL familiar!

Judging by Haruna's clothes, Kanako knew that she was from beyond Gensokyou. "You're from beyond the boundary. It's a pleasure, dear."

Sanae was analyzing Haruna as well. She could have sworn she knew her. "Hello," she bowed.

"So, what brings you two here?" Kanako wondered, knowing that Keine visits the shrine sometimes. When she did, either Moukou accompanies her or she brought along her class. Seeing a mortal from the outside with Keine was a first for her though.

"This young woman requires a place to rest at tonight," the lovely schoolteacher explained. "Since you are very knowledgeable of the lifestyles of the outside world, I thought it was appropriate to allow her to meet you."

"Hmm..." Kanako crossed her arms and suddenly said, "It's impolite to stare, child."

"Eh!" Haruna gasped in mild surprise. She was being discreet while staring at Kanako. How could Kanako know that she was staring at her? Those slit pupils of the voluptuous goddess kinda intimidated her. "I'm sorry."

"It happens," Kanako replied in kind. "Although, I can't shake the feeling that I may have met you before. You look familiar, child – especially your face."

"She does look familiar," agreed Sanae.

"What is your name?" Kanako asked.

"Haruna Shindo," the noirette revealed.

Hearing that name, Sanae gasped. "No way!"

"You know her?" Kanako and Keine wondered simultaneously.

"Yes! Yes! I remember now!" Sanae answered and grabbed Haruna's right hand, clasping it. "We were classmates! Don't you remember me, Haruna-chan?"

Haruna gazed into the eyes of the taller girl. "Wait... how do you know my-" Her eyes suddenly widened. "Oh my goodness! I understand what Akyuu meant! Sanae-san!"

"It's been three years!" Sanae gushed. "I didn't even recognize you at first with the short hair!"

Haruna couldn't believe this reunion. "Sanae-chan, I remember being a bit taller than you. Whoa! You grew up..." she admitted, noticing her friend's now mature body. "... and out."

Sanae blushed. "Aw! You grew up as well, Haruna-chan. You're as pretty as I remembered. You still look like a princess."

"Thank you..." Haruna replied in kind, though a bit envious. She looked down at her chest and then to Sanae's. She's a D-Cup! Sanae-chan... that is not fair! Mine's are like stress balls! Hers are like water balloons!

"Ahem..." Kanako stammered. "You're staring again."

"Sorry!"

"Kanako! What is all this racket I'm hearing out here?" The door to the Moriya household opened, revealing the true goddess of the shrine. "Why is Sanae out here squealing like she's on a sugar high?" A highly irritated Suwako stepped onto the scene. She saw Keine and Haruna and her expression softened. "Oh. Hi there, Keine-chan. How's your family and Moukou doing?"

"They're doing well, Suwako-sama." Keine replied. "And Moukou's off to Eintei again."

Suwako raised her brow. "Is that so? Not really surprised, though. She's off to drop-kick Kaguya again?"

Keine giggled nervously, scratching her jawline. "Actually... she's after Tewi this time around."

"Huh?" All three goddesses of Moriya simultaneously chimed.

"You see... Tewi stole an entire collection of Moukou's underwear..." Keine hesitated, mildly surprised herself. "To make a profit out of selling them..."

"Ooh!" The goddesses cringed in condolence.

"I can understand why she's mad." Haruna commented. "The same thing happened to me once. One time, I invited my ex-boyfriend over to my house and-"

"No need to reminisce such an embarrassing tale," Suwako chortled, noticing the dark haired youth at last. "By the way, who are you? You look familiar..."

"Suwa-chan, don't you remember me?" Haruna said to the ancient child. "I'm Haruna Shindou. I went to school with your big cousin."

Suwako was confused. "Cousin?"

"And you still look exactly the same as I remembered you," Haruna continued. "You're even wearing the hat that you won from the arcade a few years ago."

Suwako's mind immediately went back to that glorious moment. "Oh yea! Now I remember you! You even visited the shrine a couple of times when we lived in the city. How you been doing, kid?"

Haruna giggled. "I'm fine. And who are you calling a kid, little lady? I'm nineteen and you... should be thirteen by now, right?"

Sanae gulped. "Haruna-chan..."

Keine sighed demurely. "Oh dear."

Kanako cackled. "You hear that Suwa? She actually thinks that you're a mere child."

"I see..." a sagely glint appeared in Suwako's violet eyes. "I'm sorry that I left you completely in the dark, child. I understand, though. Appearances... can be deceiving."

Keine nodded her agreement. Her and Moukou both thought that Suwako was just a cute little blond village kid when they first met her. How wrong she was!

"I think I understand," Haruna admitted.

"Really?" Sanae wonderd.

"Yea. Little Suwa's wise beyond her age," the noirette said, earning a 'ha!' from Kanako. "Like Akyuu."

Kanako snorted.

"Haruna, you remember praying at the shrine when you used to visit us, right?" The Highest of the Native Gods asked. Haruna nodded. "You recall wondering about the god of Moriya, correct? You were one of the very few youths that still believed in gods."

"Of course I believe in gods. I have faith in them," Haruna smiled, causing Kanako to smile warmly. "It's just that... I know that they're around but I can't really sense any of them. Deep down..." She placed a hand over her chest. "I know that they exist. It's just... unexplainable."

Suwako really liked this girl. She was as honest as they come. "Wouldn't you believe me if I told you that I'm not a mere little girl? Weren't you listening to Kana over there?" She pointed to the storm goddess.

"What are you saying?" Sanae's classmate blinked her eyes in confusion. "Are you telling me that you're a youkai? Like Rumia, Kogasa, and Mystia?"

Kanako held out her hands while nodding her head. "She tried."

"Good effort," Keine praised.

"But... that would explain how you look exactly the same as the day I met you!" Haruna pointed out. "Three years passed and it looks like you haven't aged a day!"

"Your confusion is delicious," said Suwako and took her hands into her skirt pockets. "Listen, baby..."

"Baby?" Haruna scowled at the irony.

"Yea. She used to call me that, too." Kanako commented. "Some things never change."

"Ahem... as I was saying – I'm neither a human, beast, nor youkai. I'm a higher being." Suwako stated honestly, not at all being condescending. "That same goes for my friend, Kanako."

Now that she mentioned it, Haruna took a glance at Kanako. She noted her slip pupils, the ornament on her head, and the large shimenawa rope on her back, making her look like some sort of Bodhisattva. Then it finally dawned on her. "Are you saying... that you're gods?"

Sanae applauded.

"Indeed." Kanako confirmed.

Suwako gave the dark haired girl a wink."The genuine article, kiddo!"

"You have got to be kidding me," Haruna was skeptical, a nonbeliever. She looked to Sanae for clarification. "They're joking around again, aren't they?"

Sanae sighed. She never did wanted to reveal such a revelation to her best friend from the city. "No they're not, Haruna-chan..."

"Say what!" Haruna sang in disbelief, now depending on Keine to burst their divine bubble.

"They're divinities, Haruna-san." Keine explained. "Even I visit this shrine to pray sometimes."

"But-"

"Remember you used to pray about making the basketball team at our shrine?" Suwako asked with a knowing smirk. "It was not too long after we met you."

What the loli frog said shocked Haruna. Still, she challenged Suwako. "That was beginner's luck!"

"Oh?" Suwako donned on a fake white beard. "You also prayed for succeeding on the college entrance exams. Yea, and let's not forget about the finals... and your team making it to the regional's," said Suwako, loving the noirette's reaction. "Ara! You even made a prayer for increasing your breast size at my shrine. Twice."

Haruna was now red-faced with awe and embarrassment. "You... are a goddess!"

"And make no mistake, baby..." Suwako wagged her finger. "I can hear prayers. Some clear, other's not so potent... I hear stray prayers a lot. I get the best reception when you pray here at this shrine, though. This applies to Kanako as well."

"This is unbelievable..." Haruna uttered.

"Of course, you may view your reinforced will and new-found strength as 'divine answers', but..." Suwako paused, contemplative. "Aaa-uuu~... Both humans and youkai are amazing beings. Gods can only 'answer' the prayers of those that are willing to take action... those that help themselves. Of course, we have our limits. Not all prayers can be reciprocated. Such prayers of miraculous proportions can only be answered by the Big Guy, Himself. And even He help those of the willing and those that work for their goals. You can call it a challenge, if you will."

Haruna was at a loss for words.

"Now... do you believe us?" Kanako imposed.

"I doubt you no longer," said Haruna solemnly.

"Plus," Suwako slipped into cutesy mode and grabbed Sanae by her arm. "Sanae's my grandchild! Isn't she cute?"

"Whoa!" Haruna was struck by another revelation. "You're Sanae's... grandmother?"

"Yep! Yep!" Suwako balled her hands on her hips with a gleeful smile. "She's a part of me!"

Sanae blushed. "Suwako-sama..."

"Don't forget to mention that you're her countless times grandmother." Kanako joked, earning a glare from the much older divinity. "Ara... and let's not forget the fact that even my grandparents knew of you long before I was born!"

Suwako pouted cutely in anger. "Kanaaaaaaaa!"

"Oh ho ho!" Kanako laughed. "What's wrong? You're throwing another tantrum - in the presence of a guest, what makes it so bad! Even Remilia once mentioned that you're extremely childish."

"That little blood-sucking prick said that about me?" Suwako whined. "Fool! The pot calls the kettle black! I should go over to her place and body-slam her smug ass!"

"Suwako-sama!" Sanae gasped. "Watch your language!"

"Silence, Sanae!" Suwako commanded. "Can't you see that two grown-ups are talking? Interfere again and I will beat you!"

Ooh! She's certainly angry! Haruna thought as she witnessed the little goddess' outburst of immaturity.

"I guess this is when I take my leave." Keine informed as she turned on her heels. "It was really nice to meet you, Haruna-san. Good luck in your endeavor. Hope to see you again soon."

"Good night, Keine-san." Haruna replied and Keine was on her way back to the village. She felt a hand tapped her shoulder. "Oh. What's up, Sanae?"

"Hey... mind coming along with me to run an errand?" Sanae requested with a mild blush of embarrassment. Kanako and Suwako were still arguing. "It's already kinda late, but I need to make a run to the Hakurei Shrine."

"I would love to, Sanae-chan," the younger girl considered. "But I'm kinda tired. I walked all the way from the village to these mountains with Keine-san."

"No need to worry about that," the wind fujo turned around and bowed down on one knee. "I can carry you. Get on."

"Whoa! You can fly too?" Haruna wondered in astonishment.

"I'm a mortal goddess – of course I can fly!" Sanae responed. "Well?"

Haruna was blushing now. "Piggyback? Are you sure, Sanae-chan? I may be a little heavy for you."

"Don't worry." Sanae reassured. "I've been training my body and spirit nonstop since I've arrived here."

"Okay..." the noirette remarked uncertainly and climbed on Sanae's back. She wrung her arms securely around Sanae's shoulders. "Okay. I'm ready."

"Hold on tight." Sanae slowly levitated a few feet in the air. Making sure that her friend's legs were firmly in her arms, she smiled. "Alright! Here we go! To the Hakurei Shrine, classmate!"

Haruna shrieked as Sanae suddenly took off like a bullet. "Waaaah!"

"Told ya to hold on tight!" Sanae's giggles resounded in the air above the Moriya Shrine.

HUMAN VILLAGE – BATH HOUSE

Akyuu couldn't bring herself to enjoy tonight's bath as she should. She was disturbed... very disturbed. The bath house has always been the place where she can unwind and relieve stress. However, for the very first time, the bath was not working it's magic. In fact, she felt even more stress now than before she dipped in the steamy waters. This was going to be a long night!

The Child of Miare looked towards the source of her tension. "You're awfully quiet... Kotohime."

The lovely law enforcer stared off into nothing in particular. She didn't even seem to register Akyuu's voice and there was a passionless look in her red eyes. Just... what is going through her head right now?

Akyuu sighed. That was not a state of Zen her red head companion was in! Kotohime was probably off in her own world – hell, her own universe! Wherever she was, Akyuu was sure that the officer was bound to bring something back from it. "Kotohime..." Akyuu leaned over and fanned her hand in front of the princess' face. "Oi. Koto-chan!"

Still no response from the Maniacal Princess.

"Kotohime. Please come back down to earth," said Akyuu apprehensively. Maybe that was a bad idea on her part. "Any day now..."

The redhead remained lost in her own mind.

"Koto-chan... KO~TOOO~HIME!" Akyuu sang, using a friendly tone in hopes of garnering the princess' attention. The reincarnating loli tried another tactic. "Hmm... She fights for good, she fights for justice... she's the bitch that you really don't wanna mess with!"

Kotohime's head swayed ever so slightly.

Akyuu continued, "Steal a nickel, snatch a dime, no matter how significant the crime, your ass' gonna do time!"

Kotohime's eyes glistened with tears.

"Ko-to-hi-me! Ko-to-hi-me! She's the redhead ranger of the law! She's a badass that has knows no weakness, detriment, or flaw!"

Kotohime was breathing again, sentient. Even her pearls were once again floating along the hot bath's currents.

Akyuu noticed that the officer was coming around. "Ya know, if I recite another lyric of your made-up theme song I'm going to drown myself in this bath."

The regal officer resumed her state of Koto-Zen.

"Argh! Don't tell me that you're still angry about earlier?" Akyuu sudden roared, severely annoyed. "Get over it, Koto-chan! You brought it all on yourself!"

Kotohime abruptly stood on her feet, giving Akyuu a good peep show at her surprisingly curvy body. "You're wrong!" She shrieked in turn. "She's a delinquent! A menace to society!"

"You were overreacting and giving her a difficult time!" Akyuu retold, now angry. "You forced the girl's hand through insensitivity and intimidation!"

"That outsider possessed a weapon!" Kotohime reasoned. She really didn't appreciate getting her face irritated by the strange weapon.

"It was only for self-defense, Kotohime!" Akyuu argued. "She was able to thwart Rumia with it! Who knows what would happen if she didn't have said weapon!"

"So you admit that it was a weapon!"

"You're an unsavory woman, Kotohime! Brash and imposing!"

"AND YOU ARE AN OLD WOMAN AND A FOOL!" Savagely retorted the Maniacal Princess.

A very uncomfortable pause occurred as Akyuu stared at the officer in utter disbelief. Kotohime was breathing hard while pointing an accusatory finger at Akyuu. Akyuu looked as vicious as Remilia on a bad day, ready to maul the insane princess. There was tension between to two girls as intense as the one between the great dragon and divine tiger.

"Ara..." a new voice invaded the room. "Am I interrupting something?"

At the other side of the room, stood Byakuren Hijiri. The youkai messiah was clothed in a bath robe (which failed to hide her godly curves). She blushed shyly because the robe was rather small and the slightest moment can inadvertently give anyone a peek at her goodies. She slowly stepped into the bath, relishing it's warmth. "Ahh~! This feels lovely. Kogasa attacked Kyouko for some reason and I had to scold her. Murasa was harrassing poor Nitori and I had to protect the kappa from my friend's prying hands. It's been a long day for me."

Kotohime eyes became cat-like. "Tch!"

A pair of horns appeared on top of Akyuu's head. "Humph!"

Byakuren noticed the sudden evil aura inside the room along with the change in the girl's demeanor. "Hey? What's the matter? What ails you two?"

And I thought that I had a killer body, Kotohime thought disdainfully.

She's the pinnacle of feminine perfection! She's as beautiful as Samantabhadra! She must die! Akyuu thought with utmost abhorrence.

The pair slowly approached the Monk of the White Lotus menacingly. "Girls? You're scaring me..."

"Our adversary!" Kotohime shrieked with tears in her eyes.

"To enlightenment!" Akyuu squealed with a delirious expression on her cute face.

Byakuren's scream pierced the silence of the night, alerting Shou into action from afar.

HAKUREI SHRINE

"Oi Reimu!" Marisa yelled out. "There's no need to search for something that's isn't there!"

The true law enforcer of Gensokyou sighed. There was nothing inside the shrine's donation box as usual. Sometimes, she wondered if it was really worth being the shrine maiden of paradise. She imagined her ancestors going through the same drama: not receiving any donations while the people around the land depended on her. Life simply sucks sometimes. "I guess you're right."

"Eh? You were expecting donations today?" The witch said with surprise.

"Well... yea." Reimu responded hesitantly. "I spoke with Sanae earlier today and she said that she was going to donate money to the shrine. Guess she couldn't make it today..."

Marisa crossed her legs on the foyer. "Knowing Sanae, she's was probably too busy gathering faith for Baba Yasaka and that cute little great-grandmother of hers. Give it a rest, Reimu. Maybe she will come by tomorrow to make the donation."

"Right." Reimu nodded and then rolled her eyes at the sight of her blue haired guest. "By the way, what are you doing here, Tenshi?"

The celestial shrugged. "Bored. Ya know, trouble in paradise."

"Tenshi... with the way you're viewing heaven I'm definitely sure that there are more interesting things going on in hell." Reimu sighed.

"No kidding," Marisa added with a cackle. "We got mind-raped by Satori, got into it with Rin, and endured a battle of epic proportions against that deliciously hot Utsuho." A dreamy look glazed over the witch's expression. "Oh! We also got Koishi pissy drunk while we were hanging out with Yuugi. I'll say drag me to hell on the day I kick the bucket."

At the sound of the satori's name the celestial perked. "Koishi? She arrived in Bhava-Agra recently. She called herself challenging me to a swordsmanship duel but I couldn't take her seriously."

"Really?" Reimu wondered. "She made a surprise appearance in the hot springs the other day. That girl asked me did I needed a back scrub and I nearly jumped out my skin."

"Pah! That's nothing, ze!" Marisa scoffed. "One day, I woke up to discover her sleeping on my bed. I got a surprise once I saw myself in the mirror: My entire face and chest were covered in pink lipstick. Comes to find out that the little devil been smooching me in my sleep." A odd pause occurred. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Ooh... nothing..." Reimu found a nearby tree suddenly interesting.

Tenshi was laughing at the witch's (un)fortunate mishap. "Heh heh heh... You sure that it wasn't just a wet dream?"

"Oh, screw you guys!" Marisa gave them the middle finger. "Raw," she added.

"Reimu-saaaan!" Came Sanae's voice as she appeared in the air above the Hakurei Shrine.

"Great." Marisa grumbled. "Here comes Tits McGee."

Sanae landed before the shrine with a stranger in tow. "Hi, Marisa-san. Hi, Tenshi-san. How you guys doing?" She stepped aside and introduced her friend. "Guys, this is my friend, Haruna Shindo. She entered Gensokyou not too long ago."

Haruna bowed. "Umm... how do you do?"

"Bored." Tenshi droned. "Tenshi Hinanai's the name."

"I still have breath in my body, so I guess I'm doing fine. The name's Marisa." Marisa grinned, gazing at the stranger with Sanae. "You know what, Sanae? She's hella pretty, but Kogasa's still cuter." Reimu jabbed the witch in the rib with her elbow. "Ow! What?"

"Ahem... I do wonder what took you so long, little godling." Said Reimu offhandedly. "Did your parents over at Moriya decided to allow you to stay up past curfew?"

"I had a lot on my hands today, Reimu-san."

"So how was your hectic day, then?" The older miko said in an almost accusatory tone. "You managed to gather numerous amounts of faith? Will Kanako be able to last another millennium?"

Tenshi was the first to sense the tension between the two priestesses. Ooh... kay...

"Oi..." Marisa sensed the tension as well.

"Well... I'm pretty sure the Moriya will be just fine. I know for a fact that the tengu still praise that woman." Reimu comment. "No doubt in my mind that the shrine will continue to prosper."

"Whoa..." Haruna gasped. "Bad blood." And that is one awesome hat she's rocking, she noted of Marisa.

Sanae glared at the older miko, resisting the urge to throw the money at her. However, she knew not to engage Reimu in a fight – whether it be danmaku or fisticuffs. Reimu was still stronger than she was and Suwako refused to teach Sanae the darker side of ancient martial arts. Sanae opted for girl talk. "I see..."

"See what?" Reimu responded.

"Guys... be easy, ze." Marisa was growing worried for both of the priestesses.

"Welcome to the Hakurei Shrine, classmate." Sanae introduced to the younger girl. "This is the home of poverty, poor ethics, and profanity. Be careful around Reimu. She's a bad influence and you may end up as aggressive as she is."

Reimu brandished a handful of spell cards. "Feeling froggy like your grandmother? By all means, leap!"

Sanae gasped and took out her gohei while adopting a fighting stance. "En' Guarde, Hakurei!"

The red-white's mystic orbs suddenly appeared and they hovered around her. "Up yours, Moriya!"

Marisa hopped off the shrine foyer in alarm. "Hey! Guys! Cool it down!"

"Yea!" Tenshi cheered, having something entertaining happening today at last. "Thrash! Maim! Let the miko cat fight begin!"

"Sanae-chan, Reimu, please calm down! There's no reason to fight!" Haruna implored. Suddenly, she felt a gust of wind behind her, causing her miniskirt-like shorts to flutter. "Kyah!"

"Oh wow! Really?" Aya Shameimaru commented as she scribbled into her notepad. She stood on the roof of the shrine. "The kid from beyond the boundary is wearing shorts underneath, eh? I can do something about that!"

Thankfully, the sexy tengu's sudden appearance made the priestesses forget all about their beef (if temporary). "Sup' Aya!" Marisa waved.

"Aya! You came at a wrong time!" Tenshi scolded, her source of today's entertainment blown. "They were about to get into it!"

"Oh. Hello there, Aya-san!" Sanae greeted.

"I take it that you want to take a few snapshots of Sanae's friend, huh?" Said Reimu.

"Ooh! Most definitely!" Aya confirmed. "But first..." A wicked gleam flashed on the tengu's brown eyes.

"You want to take snapshots of..." another burst of wind occurred and Haruna felt a smooth hand smacked her semi-bare derriere. "Huh? I think I feel a draft..."

Aya's camera shuttered several times. "Ooh! They're black! Lovely!"

Haruna noticed her miniskirt in the tengu's hand. "GAH! Since when did you-"

"Turn around once more, would ya?" Aya requested, still taking snapshots. "You have a nice round ass!"

"That's mean, Aya!" Sanae chided. "Can't you see that you're embarrassing Haruna-chan?"

"For shame, Sanae!" Aya said conspiratorially. "You must have forgotten who I am! Taking compromising and embarrassing photos is what I do best! Such photos are a majority of the reason the Bunbunmaru is still kickin'!"

Marisa and Tenshi wolf-whistled at the same time. Haruna shrieked and tried to retrieve her skirt from Aya. "Don't do this to me! Give it back! Give me back my skirt!"

"Sure, why not?" Aya handed the article of clothing back to the outsider. "Besides, tomorrow's issue is gonna sell like Mystia's cooking!"

Haruna was adjusting her skirt onto her hips. "Tomorrow's issue? As in a magazine?" Her face suddenly boiled red. What if the snapshots of her ended up on a magazine stand? What if her pictures end up on the internet? Or worse: what if the photos of her ass turn out to be on the walls of men's room, workspace, and cell phone galleries? She gasped in horror at the prospect. "That camera of yours! Gimme that darn camera!"

Aya grabbed the young human by the forearm with a single hand. She slowly lifted Haruna off her feet, unzipping her hoodie. "Hmm. Your boobs are nice." Aya commented, focusing her camera on the said area with her other hand. "They're small, but that have a pretty roundness to them... like Sakuya's. I wonder what's the reason behind the hole in your shirt, though. I can see your sports bra through it."

Haruna noted Aya's strength as she was dangled in midair. "Lemme guess, you're a youkai, too?"

"A tengu, to be exact." Aya answered with a satisfactory smile. "Plus, you smell like strawberries."

"Why do I have the feeling that you devour humans?" Haruna wondered nervously.

"Humans on my diet? Yck! I'll pass!" Aya nodded her head in disgust. "There has never been an incident of tengu preying on humans in eons. With all the stuff you guys ingest on a daily basis, I can only imagine how y'all taste like."

"Immense relief washes over me." Haruna remarked happily. "And could you please put me down? You're hurting my arm."

"Now... where were we? Oh right! Let's remove that bra of yours, shall we?" Aya proceeded to take off Haruna's shirt but a hand grabbed her by the wrist. "Aww! You're no fun, Reimu."

"That's enough." Reimu commanded. "Besides, I think our friend is embarrassed enough as it is."

"Eh? You think so? Tell that to the others." Aya let go of Haruna's arm and looked at the others girls present at the shrine. To her surprise, Marisa, Sanae, and Tenshi were staring blissfully with goofy grins on their faces. "Okay. Peep show's over, ladies. You can check it out in tomorrow's issue of the Bunbunmaru, though."

"Aww!" The witch and the Celestial chorused, snapping their fingers.

"Huh?" Sanae asked in a way that suggested that she just snapped out of a trance.

Reimu sighed with her hand held out. "Just gimme the donation. You had me waiting long enough."

"Oh. Right!" Sanae went into her skirt pocket and took out a small bag of coins. She handed the money to the older girl. "I take it that the contribution lifted your bad mood?"

A small smile graced Reimu's lips. "Pretty much. Give my regards to Kanako-sama."

"Wait a brick?" Marisa made a face of consternation. "Reimu... since when did you refer to Kanako as... Kanako-sama?"

"What are you talking about, Marisa?" Reimu raised a brow. "I just received a blessing from a goddess. Isn't it appropriate to call her so?"

"Feed a stray beast a meal and it'll be loyal to you," the Moriya maiden commented with a roll of her eyes.

"HEY!" Reimu yelled, clearly affronted by the makeshift proverb.

"Still, that's pretty weird of Reimu." Marisa continued, recalling something. "It's almost as weird as the time that Reimu had a boyfriend."

"Shh!" Reimu blushed embarrassingly. "Marisa!"

This tidbit shocked Tenshi. "For real?"

This was news to Sanae. "Reimu-san... since when did you have a boyfriend?"

"Well..." Reimu decided to let the cat out of the bag. "I... had a boyfriend..."

"What happened to him, Reimu-san?" Curiosity was getting the best of the Moriya godling. "The relationship didn't work out?"

"No. We had great chemistry, actually," the Hakurei fujo explained. "Except for the fact that Remilia tried to murder him countless times. My poor Masahiro-kun was definitely on edge."

Marisa's face suddenly brightened, familiar with Reimu's paramour. "Masahiro? Masahiro that lives on the south side of the human village with his uncle! ?"

"Aw! C'mon Marisa!" Reimu retorted angrily. "Don't tell me that you tried to flirt with him!"

"No... no... nothing like that, Reimu I assure you, buddy-ol-pal." Marisa stammered in defense. The Ordinary Magician began whispering to herself. "That man sure give stupid head, though! Da ze!"

Reimu heard that. "What did you just say! ?"

Marisa gasped. "Uh, nothing!"

"Wait?" Aya suddenly wondered. "You met him too, Marisa?"

"Well... yea." Marisa was blushing at a very pleasant memory.

"Girl!" Aya was now blushing as well. "That guy was really talented with his tong-"

"AYA!" Reimu seethed, causing the witch and the dark haired tengu to clutch onto one another in fear.

"Sorry!"

Haruna tried her best to suppress her laughter. "Heh... he-he-hee! Some boyfriend he was. Whoever he is, he was a rolling stone. He – GAK!" She was suddenly snatched by her collar.

Reimu was giving the new girl a sinister glare. "Just who do you think that you're laughing at? Do you want to see my bad side, toots?"

"Ah! No!" Haruna fearfully responded. "Wouldn't dream of it!" This is one terrifying woman! Holy shit, she's brutal!

"Good..." Reimu grounded out.

"Oh yea," Marisa pounded her right fist into her left palm in thought. "Now that I think about it, wouldn't Yukari be able to sense your presence since you've crossed the border recently? I mean, that woman's gonna be scouring all of Gensokyou – looking for the last person who went through the boundary."

"Who's Yukari?" Haruna wondered.

"Say what!" Tenshi repeated.

"You haven't met Yukari-san yet?" A surprised Sanae said.

"Uh... afraid not." Haruna answered. "Who is she?"

"For starters, she's a youkai." Reimu began. "Or so she says..."

"Another youkai?" Haruna sighed. This youkai thing was getting old. "Like Rumia and Kogasa, right?"

"Tch. Hardly," Aya opined. "Comparing those two along with me to Yukari is like comparing a meteorite to the sun."

"Oh dear." Haruna replied sheepishly.

"Yes. Yukari Yakumo... the one who created the border around this very land," the Hakurei youth revealed. "Although it is often suspected that she's far more than a youkai, they call her the Youkai Of Boundaries."

"The Youkai Of... Boundaries?" Haruna repeated.

"She definitely lives up to her title, that's for sure." Sanae commented.

"That is so true. That woman is a rare being, likely the only one of her kind." Reimu continued. "To this very day, I still don't believe that she's a youkai. Heck, even if she is, then she's the pinnacle of youkai perfection. She's a creature that can even give deities and demons pause. A super-youkai, if you would like to call it..."

"That sounds a little impressive, actually." Haruna commented. "What she does?"

"Ooh! You can fill an entire grimoire with that!" Marisa testified. "Ol Gappo is one serious piece of work!"

"Yes she is," Reimu nodded. "Imagine someone that could travel anywhere in the world... or any other world instantly. Literally!"

"She could do that?" Haruna gulped.

"Yea! Yukari can pop up outta nowhere right now!" Marisa giggled. "Beware of gaps!"

"She can appear while you're taking a bath," Aya added. "She can appear while you're sleeping. She can appear while you're changing panties. She can even catch you slipping while masturbating in the comfort of your own home – on your own time! That's embarrassment literally with your panties down! Just when you're about to climax and scream, BAM! A wild Yukari appears!"

"Aya!" Reimu yelled.

"What?" The sexy tengu said.

"Too much info!" Reimu chided and sighed. "This is T-rated, remember?"

"Oh! Right! Right..." Aya guiltily blushed.

"Anyway... creating gaps to go anywhere is only a fraction of Yukari's power." Reimu resumed. "She can dump this entire land in the middle of the Sahara. She can cause the entire human race to go extinct if she wanted to. Hell, that old hag can even turn the sun into a gigantic ball of ice!"

"Are you serious?" Haruna was scared now. Yukari Yakumo is the boogeyman of Gensokyou!

"She's dead serious, unfortunately." Sanae commented. Even the lovely demigod was afraid of the beautiful youkai sage. "Even Kanako-sama once mentioned that she would not be a match for Yukari if they were to clash. My grandmother said that the fiercest of the Mishaguji wouldn't hold a candle to her. They were considered invincible many centuries ago. She is a walking, breathing paradox made flesh."

"And as her moniker implies, she manipulates boundaries." Reimu crossed her arms in thought. "That particular power is hard to explain. You see... every thing in existence... has can influence the boundary between peace and chaos. She can control the line between life and death; beauty and ugliness; heaven or hell; up and down... you get the picture. Taking that into consideration... that is a fearsome power. A high level god would be envious."

"I'm sorry, but that is one scary old lady!" Haruna summarized and all of them agreed.

"Plus, she wants me to be her shikigami." Aya commented.

"She wants Aya to be her familiar?" Haruna wondered.

"That's right." Sanae nodded. "Yukari-san seeks youkai of considerable experience, power and talent. Youkai that possesses power well beyond that of an average one. A youkai that has a sixteenth of her power... and that is very powerful for a youkai." She pointed at Aya whom was taking a sexy pose. "Aya is one such youkai. Yukari sees her as the perfect candidate."

"Daughter of a bastard!" Haruna stared at the reporter in awe.

"Strong, beautiful, and versatile," Aya shifted her pose, lifting her arms in an x shaped behind her head while puffing out her plump bosom and jutting her luscious backside. "I'm the total package, baby! She wants me! I would want me, too. I'm just that awesome!"

Tenshi rolled her eyes. "And people thought that I was arrogant..."

Marisa patted Tenshi's left shoulder. "Don't mind her. It's a whole different story when Hatate's around."

"Right. So Aya has a reason to toot her horn. Big deal," sighed Reimu. "Lemme finish explaining Granny Gap, okay?"

Aya deflated. "Sheesh. Talk about ruining a glorious moment..."

"Now, considering how vastly powerful our friend is... she has a flaw." The red-white miko unveiled. "A big flaw."

"One that you wouldn't believe." Marisa added, tilting her hat with a lovely grin.

"Yea? What's that?"

"My friend, the devil of Gensokyou... is in fact... a sloth!" Reimu's revelation was a shock to Haruna. "That's right. Yukari Yakumo is lazy as hell!"

"She's very lazy," Sanae commented. "Ungodly so."

"Um-hmm!" Aya and Marisa chorused.

"Damn..." the dark haired girl said. "That's... sadly hilarious."

"A farce of the gods." Sanae commented again.

"Knowing her, Yukari's probably sleeping right now." Reimu clicked her tongue. "Some sub-god, huh?"

"To a point that it's almost mind-boggling." Haruna admitted. A sorry ass boogeywoman! Ain't that a bitch?

"What a waste of power!" Tenshi scoffed. "And to think that there isn't a soul in heaven that could even begin to challenge her? Besides me, of course."

Haruna was now curious about the blue haired woman on the foyer. "Heaven? For real? So you're not a youkai?"

"Nope." Tenshi confirmed proudly. "I'm a Celestial."

"Plus a masochist! Check this out!" Marisa grinned and grabbed Tenshi by the lock of her hair.

"Oww! Quit it!" Tenshi responded in pain. "That hurts! Ow! Ow! OWW!"

Marisa ignored the Celestial's pleas of anguish. "Now... to turn up the difficulty a notch. How about Lunatic?" She laughed and yanked Tenshi's hair harder.

"Gyah! Marisa stop! Ow!" Tenshi was cringing in pain, but now her expression transformed into that of a goofy and blissful smile. Her voice raised into squeals."Ow! OOOOWWW! Oww... Ahh! Annnnnnnh~ Ooooh! It hurts so good! Pull harder! HARDER! Gimme some of that good pain!"

Haruna expressed her awe once again."Dang! You weren't kidding, Marisa."

"I told ya! Tenshi's no angel! She's a trip, ze!" Marisa guffawed as she released Tenshi's tresses. A dark presence suddenly loomed behind the Ordinary Witch.

"Marisaaaaa!" Tenshi snarled as a keystone the size of her head appeared in her grasp. "You play too got-damn much!"

Marisa gasped in terror at the righteously pissed Celestial. "Oi! Tenshi! I was just play-"

Tenshi swung the keystone full-force at the witch's head. "RETRIBUTION!"

BAM!

"Holy crap!" Haruna shrieked.

"That had to hurt..." Aya said, taking pictures of the now laid-out witch.

"That's going to leave a mark." Reimu cringed.

Sanae expressed her condolence. "I shall pray for a quick recovery for her."

Hovering above the unconscious witch's head were a couple of deformed faces. They were pudgy and they resembled Marisa greatly. "Yukkuri shitte ne!" They sang.

SHINDO HOUSEHOLD

TWO YEARS AGO

"You're a horrible man, Tate!" Akane Shindo declared her husband of eighteen years. "How dare you look me in the eyes and tell me lies! You take me for a fool, Tate! Just because my birthday was yesterday doesn't mean that I was born yesterday!"

"We've been together for a long time, Akane!" Tate snapped back. "We've been married for almost twenty years! You should know me by now, woman! I'm not lying to you!"

"Do you deny those two girls that you have by Aoi?" Akane questioned. "What will our daughter think of this?"

"Akane, I've known Aoi long before I met you!" Tate hollered and took a swig of whiskey. "We grew up in the same neighborhood!"

"You ended up jumping her bones and she popped out two of your kids!" Akane tossed a television remote at her infidel husband, missing his head by inches. "You hid that fact for years, Tate! You hid it fro Haruna!"

"I'm sorry, okay!" Tate spread his arms in frustration. "I'm sorry for falling in love with Aoi a few years before I met your ass! Are you happy now? I was young and stupid!"

"Bastard! I'm not angry that you were in love with Aoi! Nor am I mad about you having twin daughters before you met me!" Akane nodded her head furiosly. "What I'm mad about is the fact that you've hid secrets from me - Aoi's children being one of them!"

"Crazy woman! We all have secrets! We all have our dark sides!"

"That may be true, but we made our vows to bring them into light," the angry forty year old housewife said. "You remember when we made those vows, Tate? It was on the day of our wedding!"

"Shit!" The thirty-eight year old discomfited hubby brought a fist to his forehead. "Here we go again! Talking about our damned vows!"

"You didn't have a problem with them on that day!" Akane planted her hands on her hips. "And that didn't stop you from laying up with that young hussy that works at the Italian restaurant!"

"I did not had sex with Hitomi!" Tate swore. "Since her boyfriend left, she needed a shoulder to lean on!"

"I'm sorry to hear that, but that girl has four sisters and two brothers!" Akane retorted, her mid length dark hair swaying with her head in anger. "She would have been just fine without you! You're not fooling me with that big brother act, Tate!"

"Regardless, I didn't have sex with her!" Tate wanted to pull the ponytail off the back of his head.

"Oh! What about the time you came home after a twelve hour shift while smelling like Irish Springs?" Akane rambled. "Oh! And let's not forget about that hot biracial coworker of yours that you took out to dinner for eight nights straight!"

Tate's mouth hung open in shock. "How do you know about that?"

"Woman's intuition and Twitter!"

"Tch!" Tate took another sip of whiskey. "That's Fiddle, you idiot!"

"Twitter, Fiddle – whatever!" Akane snapped. "Anyway, what goes around, comes around! Karma is going to bite you on the ass one day! I pray that it'll take a good chomp, too!"

Tate smiled sardonically, not giving a shit about his wife. "Whatever..."

"Ooh! When I heard about that, I fell out laughing," the front door of the house opened and in came a seventeen year old girl dressed in a tracksuit. "Tomio-kun got a speeding ticket the other day... while riding a bicycle! That was hilarious!"

Tate couldn't even look at his daughter. He felt so ashamed. Akane was the one who was smiling sardonically now. She had to spill the beans to her daughter sooner or later. "Looks like I'm going to have to tell her..." said Akane.

"Okay. I'll talk to you later. Bye." Haruna ended her call and placed her cell phone back in her pocket. She looked at her parents and gave them both a warm smile. "Hi Mama! Hi Dad! How are you guys doing?"

"I'm fine, baby." Akane responded, not wasting any time. "Can't say that about your daddy, though. I'm not even sure that I want to stay married with him any longer. Somehow, I think I would feel even better when we get through with our divorce."

Tate dropped his glass on the floor. "Divorce?"

Haruna was shocked. "Mama... you... you can't be serious? You're... talking about divorce again?"

"I'm serious as a heart attack," sighed Akane as she started walking out the living room. "I'm not gonna endure it any longer. I refuse to put up with your father's bullshit!"

"Akane!" Tate hissed.

"You have some explaining to do, boy." Akane said as she disappeared from the room.

An uncomfortable silence reigned inside the room. It was time for the father to fess up his sins to his youngest daughter. "Haru... na..."

The noirette's brown eyes glistened with moisture. "Dad..."

MORIYA SHRINE – SANAE'S ROOM

PRESENT

Haruna jerked awake in cold sweat. It was a dream... more like a recap... She dreamed about that fateful day when her mother first declared for divorce. She gazed around the room, her eyes landing on an alarm clock that looked like a frog. It was after midnight. Oh right. I'm in Sanae's room. Haruna took the comforter off her body and rose from her futon. Sanae was to the noirette's left, sleeping peacefully on a queen sized bed. At least someone's able to sleep well tonight.

"Umm..." Sanae purred, shifting in her sleep. The pink comforter slipped off of her, revealing her white tee shirt and red boy-shorts. "Satori..."

Haruna smiled. That's so cute! She's having a dream!

"Sa... to... ri..." Sanae shifted again, her entire bosom nearly peeking out of the low-cut collar of her shirt. Haruna blushed once she noticed the older girl's lovely mounds. Damn. You have grown a lot, Sanae-chan! I still can't believe that you're taller than me now!

"Sato... riii..." Sanae puckered her lips, sleep-kissing. Haruna giggled at this and decided to cover the older girl back up with the comforter. "Satori..."

Must be someone she really likes, Haruna thought, covering Sanae's chest. Easy girl! Fidget any more in your sleep, you're gonna flash me.

"Satori... I... love you..." Sanae rolled onto her back.

Whoa! Seems like she's having a wet dream in the making! Listen to how she's saying that name.

"Worship... me... Read these... filthy... thoughts..."

Oh well. Maybe I should step outside to clear my mind, she thought and left the room. Entering the den, the saw the light of the television illuminating the dark room. Kanako was sitting up on the couch in front of the TV, fast asleep. Haruna walked through the den silently, being careful not to wake the storm goddess. For all she knew, a god could get extremely cranky if you rudely awake one. That's kinda interesting... even gods need a good night's sleep.

Haruna exited the front door and sat on the foyer. She gazed into the night sky, wondering about this land of mysticism. She believed that stumbling into Gensokyou was not at all coincidence. The words of Akyuu No Hieda resurfaced on her mind.

"There's an old saying that I'm well aware that's even said beyond the border: it's a small world."

"That kid was right," the noirette thoughtfully said to herself. "I still can't believe that I ran into Sanae-chan again in this wonderland. This isn't coincidence at all."

Then there was a sudden sound among the trees. Shi! Shi! Shi! Shi!

Haruna stood up in alarm. "What was that?" She took several glances at the trees around the shrine's yard. "Hmm... maybe it was just a deer or something."

Shi! Shi! Shi! Shi!

A raccoon leaped out from behind a patch of bushes. The woodland creature stared at Haruna in curiosity and went on about it's business. "False alarm." Haruna sighed. "The little guy was probably looking for bugs or something..."

There goes that sound again: Shi! Shi! Shi!

Her heart-rate accelerated. "Okay... I think I'm going to head back inside now."

She saw movement in the trees. Focusing on whatever it was that was moving along the branches, she realized that it was a monkey. "Phew! It's just a monkey. I'm getting paranoid."

After disregarding the primate, she heard an unmistakable sound."Is-is-is-is... that-that-that-that... so-so-so-so?"

Haruna gasped in terror. There was something devilishly familiar about that sound. "Wait a minute? Could that be-"

"Is-is-is-is... that-that-that-that... so-so-so-so?"

"Shit!" Haruna swore and quickly turned on her feet. The moment she did this, she felt something putting it's weight on her left thigh and the last thing she saw was a black clad knee coming straight into her face.

WHAM!

Haruna succumbed into darkness.

ELSEWHERE – SEVERAL MINUTES LATER

Her head hurt. In fact, her head ached so much it felt like someone dropped an anvil on her head. Haruna never had a headache so bad since the day she woke up with a hangover after her high school graduation party. It was incredibly hot. She groggily opened her eyes. "Ugh... where... am... I?"

"Oh-ho! You're coming around! Good!" A high-pitched voice said.

"Huh?" Haruna wondered and tried moving her body... to no avail. She felt her arms were tightly bonded behind her back and her legs were tied together by the ankles. She also smelled something burning. "What's... going on?"

"Ah! You're awake!" A pair of wide red eyes were staring into hers.

Haruna recognized the sound of the voice and those wide eyes. "Rumia!"

"That's my name," the darkness youkai giggled. "Don't wear it out!"

"You!" Haruna looked around and realized that she was bound to a log that was hanging above a open flame. The blond youkai had removed the pajamas Sanae lent to her and now she was only in her sports bra and panties. She was literally being cooked! "Where did you put my clothes, you little creep!"

"Don't worry about it!" Rumia grinned, fixing a salad made out of persimmons and stolen ingredients from the village. "You won't be needing them anymore! You're mine!"

"Nah-uh!" Haruna retorted in horror. She tried freeing herself by rocking left and right. "Just wait until I get free! I'm going to kick your butt!"

"Is that so?~" Rumia mocked her prey. "You can't get free! I tied you up tight!"

"You little monster!" Haruna spat helplessly at her nemesis.

"Shut up!" Rumia approached her victim and poured salt on her. "You humans taste extra good with this stuff!"

"You know, you're going to have high blood pressure with how much salt you're putting on your meal," a new dulcet voice advised. "I'm afraid that not even youkai are immune to bad health."

Haruna heard the voice. "Huh?"

Rumia gasped in alarm. "Who's there?"

"Now now, my cute little Rumia..." the voice giggled. "Surely you know who I am? You should be able to tell who I am by the sound of my voice."

Rumia gulped. "You're not who I think you are, right?"

"Take a guess."

The darkness youkai said, "What do you want this time, Nue?"

"Nue?" Haruna wondered.

"Nue? NUE!" The voice scoffed. "Okay! I'm done messing around with you, kid. Let's cut to the chase." A very powerful presence shrouds the forest as Yukari Yakumo suddenly appeared from a gap in reality. "It seems that I gave your intellect more credit than it deserved. I mean, seriously – Nue! ? I'm offended that you'd even compare me with that svelte trickster! Why have hamburger when you can have steak?"

Haruna gazed at the voluptuous blonde woman, but there was something about her that made the hair on the back of her neck stand rigid. Is she another youkai?

Rumia fell on her rump. "Yukari... Yakumo!"

The super youkai grinned. "That's my name, don't wear it out."

That's... Yukari! ? Haruna thought in alarm. She looks vastly different from what I thought she would look like. She actually thought that Yukari was some white-haired old lady with horns that dresses herself in ancient Japanese clothes. Boy did she thought wrong!

"Stay away from me!" Rumia cried. "I'm about to have dinner!"

"No," the devil of Gensokyou gave Rumia a cold stare. "She's mine."

Hers? What does she wants with me?

"I found her first!" Rumia hollered while shaking her head. "I caught her fair and square!"

"Right..." with a wave of her hand, the fire instantly extinguished. "Although, I have to admit, that was a pretty sweet Shining Wizard that you tagged the poor girl with."

"Wah!" Rumia picked up two stones from the ground and scrubbed them together furiously. "My fire! Why did you go and do that?"

Yukari yawned. "Because I'm Yukari, that's why."

Rumia pouted. "Ooh! You're such a mean old hag!"

The youkai sage narrowed her violet eyes ominously. "Run along, Rumia."

Like a hard-headed defiant child, Rumia said "No!"

She's scared! Haruna noticed that the darkness youkai was failing in her act of bravado. Rumia's downright frightened!

"Rumia..." Yukari closed her eyes with a sigh. "You're wasting my time. Get out of my sight. I'm not going to tell you again."

Tears streamed down Rumia's cheeks as she spread her arms in defiance. "No! No! No! She's mine! This is my food! Mine! Mine!"

"You poor little misguided creature..." Yukari opened her eyes. They were glowing an unholy shade of red. "BEGONE!"

"AAAAIIIEE!" Rumia screamed as she scrammed off into the night.

"The Youkai of Everlasting Darkness..." Yukari scoffed with a roll of her eyes. "Bah!"

"Uh... thank you?" Haruna squeaked nervously over a pile of ashes and burned twigs.

"You." Yukari's tone cause chills to travel up the poor girl's spine. "Come along."

After a wave of her hand, a void enveloped all Haruna could see and she felt herself falling into an abyss. "WAAAAAAAAAAHH!"

THE PHANTASM

Haruna fell for several minutes while screaming hopelessly. What in the world is going on? What is the meaning of this endless darkness? Did that Yukari woman ended her existence? Has she come for her soul? Could this be the shadow of death?

"AAAAAHH!" The lull of gravity returned, but Haruna didn't felt anything when she landed. All she knew is that she landed on something. She picked herself off the ground(?) and noticed that she was still semi-nude. She gasped in terror as she witnessed the world around her: an endless swirl of violet, red, and blue with countless gaping eyes. "AAAAIIEE! My nightmares aren't even this scary!"

"So you're the one that crossed my barrier today." Yukari spoke as she appeared behind the frightened child. "We meet at last."

Haruna didn't reply. She was busy being scared witless.

"Hey? Chen got your tongue?" Yukari sighed. "I won't allow anything to hurt you. Say something."

"Wha... what is this place?" Haruna wondered with fear evident in her tone.

A debonair smile graced the devil's full lips, this place always has that effect on people. "Of course, this is paradise, purgatory, and hell all in one." Yukari revealed to the outsider. "This is Home Sweet Home, child. Isn't it wonderful?"

A rather large eye appeared in front of Haruna, staring at her with a mix of accusation, malice, uncertainty, and curiosity. "Uh... I guess it's nice. There aren't any fire and brimstone here, right?"

A dulcet chuckle escaped Yukari. "No worries, deary. However, I can warp us to the many hells of different realities if you would like."

Haruna felt as if her heart fell down her rib cage. She fervently shook her head. "No! No thanks!"

"You look rather uncomfortable." Yukari noted, liking the shape of the girl's lower body. "Let's have a seat, shall we?" With a snap of her fingers, the swirling void dissipated like a fog. They were now standing inside a very large room with dark checker board flooring and there was a rather luxurious couch right before them. She went over to the couch and sat down while crossing her legs, giving Haruna an inviting look. "Well?"

Haruna stared at the buxom woman in purple. Now that she thought about it, Yukari seemed familiar to her. But first thing, first... "Um... do you have any clothes to spare?"

"Oh! Right! Hold still for a moment, would you?" Yukari snapped her fingers again and now her visitor was dressed in a pink kimono, complete with a white mob cap. "There. Check yourself out in that mirror to your left."

Haruna did so, taking the hat off of her head. "Nice. But I think the cap is not for me, though."

"Aw!" Yukari pouted. "You look so cute with it on! Very well..." with another snap of her fingers, the cap disappeared. So much for turning you into a Touhou girl.

Haruna took a seat with her phantasmal host. "So you're Yukari Yakumo?"

"That is correct," Yukari affirmed. "Looks like Reimu already told you about me."

"Yea, she did," Haruna said, still staring at the super youkai with curiosity. "And to be honest... I thought that you would look much different."

"Excuse me?"

"No offense, ma'am." Haruna held out her hands in defense. "You're extraordinarily beautiful!"

"Why thank you!" Yukari squealed.

"And here I thought that you would be an ugly old hag," the noirette comment truthfully.

"Hmm!" Yukari opened a gap with blazing hellfire visible and the smell of brimstone emanating from it. "You sure that you don't want a tour of hell?"

"Not at all!" Haruna giggled fearfully and the gap closed. "I apologize."

"You're a smart child." Yukari took a paper fan from her sleeve and covered her lower face with it.

Haruna saw this gesture and her eyes widened in recognition. "Uwah!"

"What is it?" Yukari remarked curiously.

"I've seen you before!" Haruna pointed to the sub-god in an unmistakable manner. "You've been in the city many times!"

"Well I'm not surprised," Yukari giggled as she leaned on the arm of the sofa. "It is a small world, after all. I've been to all the continents on this planet. Yes, even the frozen one."

"I used to see you on the city train all the time," said Haruna as she traveled down Memory Lane. "You're were usually on your cell when I see you, though. You wore designers clothes and carried a lot of shopping bags. People assumed that you were a tourist."

"I get that a lot, actually." Yukari fanned her face.

"And I can overheard your conversations while you on the phone sometimes," the human youth pointed out. "Who was this Ran person you used to scold all the time?"

"She's my shikigami." Yukari replied. Children will always be children. They were an overly nosey bunch! "Ran!"

The said nine-tailed woman appeared inside the room from a gap, courtesy of her master. "Yes, Yukari-sama?"

"Ran, this is..." Yukari looked over to Haruna for clarification. "What's your name now?"

"Haruna Shindo."

"The girl that crossed the border today: Haruna Shindo," Yukari introduced. "Haruna, this is Ran Yakumo, my ever loyal servant and friend."

Ran courteously bowed. "It's nice to meet you, Shindo-san."

Haruna returned the gesture."Same here, Ran-san."

"Hey, where's Chen?" Yukari wondered, her violet eye scanning the room for the mischievous youkai cat. She noticed that the shikigami duo were getting less inseparable during the recent months. "I thought she was hanging around with you, Ran."

"She's not here." Ran confirmed. "She's out hunting the tengu girl with the cellphone. She once mentioned that the spirit reporter smelled delicious to her."

"Oh my." Yukari made a face. "Hatate should be extra careful for now on. Chen is terribly persistent when perusing her meals."

"You're certainly right about that," the nine-tailed fox agreed. "Is there anything that you would like?"

"I'm fine, thank you." Yukari gazed over to her dark haired guest. "What would you like, deary?"

"You have bottled water?"

"Of course." Ran responded as she made her way out the room. "I'll go get one."

After the kyuubi left their presence, Haruna commented. "That is one awesome looking woman! She's pretty cool."

"Indeed. My friend is as powerful as her awe-inspiring her looks are," said Yukari. "She is the strongest beast youkai that I've seen in ages."

"She is?" Haruna asked with an air of surprise.

"Quite. Looks can be deceiving. Ran may be humble, but she can be a force to be reckoned with when provoked." Yukari stated matter-of-factually. "The same can be said of Chen. That is why they are my shikigami. In fact, Chen is Ran's shikigami."

"A shikigami... of a shikigami..." said Haruna thoughtfully. "Huh."

"Quite impressive, isn't it?" Yukari giggled. "Only the strongest of youkai and beasts are candidates for being my familiars."

"Oh! That's what Reimu said about Aya!" Haruna pounded a fist into her palm. "I met Aya earlier. She's a little on the perverted side but she seems to be an easygoing person."

"Let me guess, she took a photo of your underwear?" Yukari hit the nail on the head.

Haruna blushed, recalling the feel of Aya's smooth hand on her derriere. "Just how do you know about that?"

Yukari nodded her head. "Come now, this is Aya we're talking about. Nearly everyone in Gensokyou has been a victim of her antics. Including me."

"Wow. Really?" Haruna wondered. "So that means that she caught a snapshot-"

"I was going commando that day," the youkai sage revealed.

"Ooh..." Haruna grimaced. "I feel your pain."

"Such sympathy is not needed. Aya got what she was looking for and I enjoyed the experience." Yukari told the lost girl. "Exhibitionism aside, Aya is very talented... both as a journalist and as a warrior. She is highly versed in combat lore and her prowess are legendary among her people."

"You sure couldn't tell that by looking at her," Haruna commented.

"If you were her sworn adversary, then you are already dead." Yukari explained. "People made the mistake of underestimating her because of her girlish good looks. In the hundreds of years that she existed, many youkai made the mistake of being on her bad side. And really... Aya rarely shows her bad side."

"I can only imagine..."

"Yes, and that is why I sought her out. She is beyond worthy of being a shikigami of mine." Yukari was shaking a fist now. "In fact, that woman is as powerful as Ran, if not, more so. Yet..."

"What?"

"I give that tengu pause. She knew that I can easily overwhelm her but she refuses to be my shikigami," Yukari spoke with a sad look on her face. "I respect that..."

"I see..."

"Anyway," the super youkai resumed her friendly smile. "How do you like Gensokyou so far? What's going wrong in your life? Besides the fact that Rumia almost had you for a late night snack, you seem awfully stressed."

The noirette gasped."Wait? How can you tell that?"

"You entered Gensokyou via Reconsideration Road." Yukari revealed in a solemn voice. "People that are troubled, melancholic, and suicidal enter this realm through that path. The same can be said for people that hardly has any relatives and those that already committed suicide. With the exception of those that have significant spiritual power that is the only way you could have crossed the boundary."

"You... you're right," Haruna admitted as she hung her head with a blue expression. "I am a little depressed. I come from a dysfunctional home."

Yukari nodded. "Yep. You sure fit the bill of an OC entering Gensokyou."

"Huh?" Haruna raised her head curiously.

"Nevermind," Yukari hid her sly grin with her fan. "Let's just say that I now know why I felt the rift in the boundary earlier." She crossed her legs again. "So what are you going to do now? You're going to return to the outside world or would you like to remain here?"

"I've already decided to leave tomorrow," the dark haired girl replied. "It was good seeing my friend Sanae again, but I decided to move on with my life. Sanae moved on with hers three years ago and I missed her a lot back then."

"So you already met the two and a half gods..." Yukari surmised with another slick grin. "I take it that it was a big surprise when you found out that they're gods."

"Yea. It's something straight out of a fantasy manga." Haruna remarked.

"I remember the day they entered Gensokyou. Actually, Kanako brought the entire shrine here," the super youkai twirled a white umbrella in her hand. "The little one, Suwako Moriya is the true goddess of Moriya but Kanako was the sole proprietor of it for a very long time. Details are sketchy but Suwako owned an entire kingdom and Kanako overthrew her in a great war long before I was even born."

"Long... before you were born?" Haruna wondered as she cocked her head. "And Reimu and the others were calling you an old... uh, older woman."

"I know, right!" Yukari said, releasing some pent-up tension regarding many people calling her an old hag. "Kanako existed many years before I did and that loli frog is even older! She's one of the oldest gods around. Heck, she's among the first generation! She's the old hag in this picture!"

"That's some mind-boggling irony there," the lost girl nodded in agreement. "Judging from how adorable she is, no one would ever suspect that Suwako's an ancient... child. I honestly thought that she was just a little girl with a smart mouth."

Yukari bit her lower lip."Deceptive little thing, isn't she?"

"That she is," Haruna agreed.

Ran returned to the room with a cold bottle of water and handed it to Haruna. "Here you go."

"Thank you very much, Ran-san. Haruna graciously opened the drink and took a sip. "Ahh!"

Yukari stood up from the couch. "Well... it was certainly nice meeting you, Haruna. Enjoy this realm while you're here. It may be the last time that you will see me and the others."

The lost girl sensed some finality in Yukari's voice. "What do you mean?"

"Those that once enter and leave Gensokyou... may never walk upon this land again." Yukari explained. "In a few months time, this land won't be a distant memory. The memory of this wonderland will be effaced from your mind... forever."

"Really?"

"I'm afraid so. The existence of this place is not to be acknowledged by the world beyond the border." Yukari stated to the noirette. "It is this land's way of preserving itself, alienating it from the annals of history and scientific knowledge. To an outsider to return home, the memory of Gensokyou is indeed magic. Magic that will eventually fade from the mind of the outsider. Do you understand, Haruna Shindo?"

"I... understand." Haruna acknowledged. This is such a bummer!

"Tell me what you need and I'll help you be on your way tomorrow."

"I... need a car battery." Haruna informed. "Either that, or a pair of jumper cables."

Yukari closed her eyes. "Very well." She waved her umbrella and another gap opened. "Have a good night, Haruna."

"WAAAAAH!" Someone suddenly fell out of the gap.

Haruna was shocked about this development. "It's Kogasa!"

Yukari was unamused. "You just had to do it, didn't you?"

The lovable karakasa gathered herself on her haunches and lolled her tongue out with a wink. "Tee-he! Surprised to see me?"

OUTSKIRTS OF GENSOKYOU – NEXT DAY

"I hope that everything goes well with you in Osaka, Haruna-chan." Sanae said, giving her friend best wishes for the future. The Moriya miko guided her friend safely to the boundary of Gensokyou.

"Thanks, Sanae-chan." Haruna winked.

"Just be sure to drop by when you get the chance."

"Wait a second? Yukari-san once I leave there's no coming back to this place." Haruna wondered in shock. "You mean to tell me it's possible that I could return?"

Sanae sighed, nodding her head. "That's just like her to tell such a tale. Just so you know, Yukari's a troll. A big troll. I am very convinced that she wrote the book on trolling."

"So Yukari-san was only messing around?" Haruna's mouth hung open in disbelief. "She got me good! She really had me feeling depressed about leaving."

"Well... what she said is only half true. It's rare but there has been a few people that returned to Gensokyou." Sanae revealed. "Of course, it requires great spiritual power and from what Marisa told me, possibly science."

"But I don't have any spiritual power," Haruna whined. "Let alone any sort of meditative training."

"Ah. Now that's where I come in," the Moriya priestess waved a finger and winked. She took a hair clip from her skirt pocket and parted her classmate's bangs before putting it near her right ear. The hair clip had a cute little picture of Pyonta engraved onto it. "There. That hair clip is your ticket inside Gensokyou. It's imbued with spiritual power from my grandmother. It's a lifetime pass."

Haruna became teary-eyed and glomped Sanae with a hug. "Oh! Thank you Sanae-chan! Thank you! I'll keep this as long as I live!"

"Yea... no problem..." Sanae wheezed from the affectionate bear hug. "You're... suffocating me... Haruna... chan..."

"Huh?" Haruna realized that her friend's face was as blue as her skirt. "Whoops! Sorry!"

"I see that you two are enjoying the moment," Yukari said from the other side of the road near Haruna's Pontiac. She was wearing her usual purple-white getup along with shades on her face. "Now let's get a move-on, ladies. This tale has to end soon."

Both Haruna and Sanae were dumbfounded. "Huh?"

Yukari sighed and held up an electric jumper-cable box. "Just come on you two! There's hardly any traffic on this road today and I'm thankful for it. I don't want to be hit on by a sweaty, three hundred pound trucker with titties as big as mine again."

"Oh... kay..." Sanae droned.

"What? You were jealous, Yukari-san?" Haruna giggled and crossed the road.

"Hardly," the youkai sage scoffed, powering on the electronic box. "You know what to do."

"Right," the dark haired girl went inside her vehicle and pressed a switch that open the hood. "She's all yours!"

"It's showtime, girls!" Yukari grinned as she leaned underneath the hood.

Sanae, however, saw something that Yukari was about to do wrong. "Uh... Yukari-san? Are you sure that you know what you're doing?"

"Of course I do! Don't be ridiculous!" Yukari protested. "Besides, I will change the entire fandom's perception of me being lazy! I'll show those simpletons! I'll show em all!"

Sanae was looking scared now. "That's all well and good, but you're-"

Too late. The super youkai was in for the shock of her life!

KKZZZZZZTTT!

Yukari began rocking violently while smoking like a locomotive. "Kyah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!"

"Holy crap!" Haruna screamed.

Sanae sighed."You're... applying those cables to the wrong polarity.

Yukari transformed into a skeleton with a huge golden afro and she was wailing like an opera star. "AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AAAAAAAHHHHH!"

The Moriya fujo quoted something her grandmother said a while back, "The Youkai Sage of Boundaries... bah!"

Soon enough, the cabled sparked for a final time and Yukari fell to the ground. She was covered in soot. "Well... that was... an unpleasant experience..." she coughed.

Sanae stood over Yukari. "Is that a fact?" My have the mighty have fallen... in such a hilarious way!"

"Is she going to be okay?" Haruna wondered, but she was laughing on the inside. That was one EPIC ass FAIL!

Sanae noticed the now inoperable jumper box on the ground beside Yukari. "Now what? That thing isn't any good now."

Yukari waved her hand weakly, opening a small gap. She reached inside it and pulled out a brand new automotive battery. "Here..."

"That's what you could have done in the first place!" Sanae scolded as she picked up the fresh battery and replaced the old one.

Meanwhile, a employee at an automotive retail store was accused of merchandise theft by his boss and was fired on the spot.

"Now," the green haired handywoman completed the battery installation and closed the hood. "That's all she wrote. Give it a start, Haruna-chan."

"Cool," the noirette placed the key inside the ignition and started the car. The Pontiac quickly roared to life.

VROOOOM!

"Alright!" Haruna laughed in satisfaction. "Now that's what I'm talkin' about! Thank you, Sanae-chan! You too, Yukari-san!"

The smoking body on the ground gave her a thumbs up.

"Think nothing of it," Sanae picked up Yukari off the ground and carried her bridal-style. "I know common sense is scarce in Gensokyou, but that was ridiculous!"

"That... wasn't... common sense..." Yukari grumbled.

Sanae rolled her eyes."Suuuure it wasn't..."

"You know, Sanae..." Haruna noticed the way Yukari was being carried. "You're looking awfully heroic right now."

Sanae blushed. "Really?"

"Definitely." Haruna replied, blushing as well. They were both staring into each others' eyes. What is this feeling? Why is my heart beating so fast?

Holy Kanako! Sanae thought feverishly. My classmate can't be this cute!

"Cheesy..." Yukari grunted, ruining the warm moment.

Sanae gasped and cleared her throat. "Ah! Well it's best for you to get a move on, Haruna-chan. Your life awaits."

Haruna shook out of her stupor."Oh! You're right!"

"Don't forget to come over for a visit, okay?"

"Yea, I'll make sure not to forget." Haruna nodded. "Maybe I'll stay around for a while on my next visit."

"That would be great." Sanae replied. She blushed once again and look away. "Well... it guess this is goodbye... for now."

"Okay. Let me be on my way." Haruna shifted the gear in reverse. "But there's one more thing that I need to tell you, Sanae-chan."

"Huh? What is it?" Sanae wondered with a pink hued face.

"You're still the same and yet, you've change a lot." Haruna revealed. "You're looking so cool with her in your arms right now. I'm jealous!"

"Haruna-chan!"

The younger girl giggled. "I'm going to give you a call later on, pretty lady! See ya around!" The car backed onto the highway and resumed it's journey to Osaka, leaving a nonplussed Moriya maiden.

"Could it be..." Sanae's mind haven't fully registered what her friend meant yet. "Could it be that my classmate likes me... more than just a friend?"

Yukari suddenly wrapped her arms around Sanae's neck. "Aw! Isn't that sweet? Your old buddy wishes that she was in your arms instead of me."

"You're ruining the moment, ya know?"

"Well, maybe I can lighten the mood again," Yukari gave Sanae a seductive smile. "Has anyone ever told you that you smell like strawberries?"

"You're delirious, Yukari-san."

"Indeed I am!" Yukari suddenly puckered her lips and gave Sanae a deep passionate kiss, totally surprising her.

After a moment of awkward silence, Sanae suddenly dropped Yukari and retreated to Gensokyou while screaming like an elementary schoolgirl given cooties. "WAAAAAAAAAH!"

Yukari stared longingly at Sanae's sprinting form from her spot beside the highway. "Oh ho ho! She wants me! It's only a matter of time!"

END OF TALE

Author's Notes

That's that. The story of Haruna's invasion... uh... visit to the eastern wonderland ends. I'm not sure if she will ever appear again. I'm aware that Sanae didn't know that Suwako was her ancestor before the events of Subterranean Animism in canon, but I thought it would be fun if she did. I find Sanae trying to hide that fact from Haruna really hilarious.

Hmm... this was one long ass tale. I haven't written anything this long in years. I once wrote a chapter for a KOF crossover that was nearly 15k in length (for another website if I remember correctly). This piece was almost twice as long! This was a story that almost never ended because Haruna and Yukari was very hard to write about.

I guess whatever doesn't kill ya, makes ya stronger. Now to check out some of the latest gameplay videos of Tekken Tag 2. I've missed E3 and ComicCon. Sad... that game's not going to see the light of day in the western arcade market. It barely got Bloodline Rebellion by the skin of it's teeth.

Plus... I suck at rapping. Kotohime's 'theme song' is testament to the claim.

Until next time!

NEXT TALE

Mischief At Scarlet Devil Manor