Mishaps Of The Eastern Wonderland

by Captain Vulcan

Lots of crazy stuff can happen in the realm of Gensokyou. Latest featured tale: The Great Shinobi Incident - Part I. A mysterious sect of ninja is putting the people of Gensokyou on edge. And if that isn't bad enough, Reimu has been kidnapped. Kasen has her work cut out before her.

5. Mischief At Scarlet Devil Manor

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TOUHOU PROJECT

MISHAPS OF THE EASTERN WONDERLAND

5th Tale

Mischief At Scarlet Devil Manor

Myouren Temple was bustling with life today. Many people congregated on the sacred grounds to attend a special event. Both humans and youkai alike were present to witness a ceremonial for uniting a human male and a youkai female in matrimony. Marriages between a human and youkai were rare. In fact, today's ceremony may very well be the first human/youkai wedding in Gensokyou's history. The joyfulness of such an occasion was undeniable.

Byakuren Hijiri stood before the groom on the alter. It was very appropriate for her to unite the bride and groom together for the rest of their lives. The monk wanted to cry. Today's marriage was a huge step towards her dream of coexistence between humans and youkai. To be honest, this was the greatest day of her super mortal life. She hoped today's ceremony will set an example to the citizens of Gensokyou. Byakuren hoped that this event would soon dispel the tension of the land.

"Ooh, here she comes," Keine whispered among the crowd.

"Tell me why I came to this wedding again?" Moukou asked aloud, dressed in a midnight blue ceremonial yukata. She hate yukatas.

Keine nudged her immortal friend with an elbow. "Shh!"

The ash haired immortal rubbed her now aching ribs."Okay. Okay. Sheesh!"

Surely enough, here comes the bride. She was accompanied by her bridesmaid, a beautiful raven haired woman of uncommon height. The bridesmaid was even taller than the groom. She walked at a steady pace along with the bride. While the bride slowly approached her soon to be husband, a few snapshots were taken. The flashes of the camera disorientated one of the shamisen players. Fortunately, it was a minor disturbance.

"Ugh..." Kogasa moaned with a set of swirly eyes. The ghastly cutie was wearing traditional wedding robes and her hair was up in a high ponytail. That crow needs to take it easy with that thing, she thought as she resumed playing the instrument. Ichirin was playing a flute. The karakasa has her condolence. That winged reporter certainly needs to take the flashing down a notch. To the nun's relief, Kogasa was on her best behavior today. The heterochromatic girl would be whining by now.

The bride was standing besides the groom at last. Byakuren was smiling so brightly that a tear finally slid down her cheek. A redhead girl began crying beside the graciously tall bridesmaid. The groom's Best Man began sniffing, trying his best not to shed tears. The youkai savior's joy was very infectious!

Byakuren cleared her throat and began the sermon. "By the guidance of fate, we have assembled here today in this holy temple... to unite man and youkai... lovers..."

Several minutes passed (including a novel moment with the tall bridesmaid passing out during the sermon). It was now coming down to the moment of truth. The bride and groom were staring affectionately at each other in the eyes. The bride was blushing so profusely that the discoloration can be seen through the veil she wore. The groom, for some odd reason... was hard to identify by the shadow of his hair. Nevertheless, it was time to get the two lovers hitched!

Byakuren spoke to the groom. "Do you, Mystery Guy, takes this youkai as your lawfully wedded wife? Even in health, sickness, and other adverse times will you stay by her side?"

After a moment's hesitation, the groom timidly replied "I do."

The beautiful monk nodded. The young man was ready to spend the rest of his days by his youkai companion's side. She was proud of him! She now regarded the bride. "Now... do you, Satori Komeiji, accept this man as your lawfully wedded husband? From now on, you will be his pillar of strength and greatest friend. Will you take him?"

Satori's violet eyes were bright with hope. This man was ready – she could tell from his thoughts. "I do," she solemnly replied.

This is really happening! I can't believe this! Byakuren thought in pure glee. She suppressed her excitement and cleared her throat again. "Very well." She regarded the congregation. "Before we unite these two into holy matrimony, is there anyone present that wishes to object this union – to provide discord, perhaps? Speak now or forever hold your piece."

No questionable murmurs among the congregation. Everyone was quiet... except for the faint sobs coming from Orin. The hellcat was so happy for her master! Okuu was faring better now. She took Shou's advice of not locking the knees, which is why the hell raven fainted in the first place. Hatate was even there to record the mishap, to Aya's chagrin. She's going to have a word with that cute little spirit photographer after the wedding. Kogasa absentmindedly plucked a string of her shamisen and Kumoi slapped the turquoise girl on the back of her head. There were no disagreements. No objections!

Byakuren Hijiri was mentally doing cartwheels. Yes! Yes! This is delightful! Human-youkai harmony, here I come! "Ah. Then it's settled... by the decree of the gods... I shall now pronounce-"

"STOP!" A high-pitched voice wailed from the entrance. "I DISSENT! I OBJECT THIS UNION!"

The entire congregation suddenly expressed their disbelief.

"Oh no," Keine held a hand over her open mouth. "Sanae? What in the world is that girl is getting herself into now?"

"Finally, some entertainment." Moukou chuckled. "It's on now!"

"Moukou!"

"Meh. This wedding was boring," the immortal remarked curtly. "The sudden chaos was badly needed. It's the spice of eternal life."

Kogasa stared at the divine intruder. She dropped her instrument as her eyes took on a slight tint of green. "It can't be..."

"Looks like she has feelings for that disrespectful godling." Parsee chuckled darkly.

"Sanae! You... you home-wrecker!" Orin sobbed.

"Inconceivable."

"She appeared out of nowhere..."

"And it was just about to get to the good part. What a letdown!"

"All boobs, no brains!" A certain flat-chested undefined girl trolled. Wait, what?

"Boo!"

"You're a fan favorite because...?"

"Unyuu?"

"You su-diddly-uck, ze!"

The wind priestess of Moriya ignored the crowd's air of disapproval. "Please forgive me, but I cannot allow Satori-san and that man to wed!" She ran up to Satori and held the youkai girl's right hand into hers. "Satori-san..."

Satori fluttered her eyelashes in confusion. "Y-yes?"

"I love you!"

Due to the wedding being interrupted, Byakuren fell off Cloud Nine. The very first human-youkai wedding... ruined by the selfless child from the outside world. Her first huge step towards coexistence was now a huge misstep. A sad look claimed the youkrist's face and her lips wriggled. FFFUUUU-

"You're in love with me?" Satori gasped, unable to read the demigoddess' mind because of the shock. "Sanae, do you know what you're saying? Do you truly mean it?"

"Yes Satori! I mean it with every fiber of my being!" Sanae declared. "I love you with all my heart!"

"I'm being punished, aren't I?" Byakuren said to the heavens and fell to her knees while crying. "Please... reinforced the will of this foolish misguided soul. Give me a sign that this is only a minor setback on the road to enlightenment. Namusan..."

"Let's get out of here, Satori!" Sanae urged.

"Now wait just a minute," the 'faceless' groom intervened. "What is up with you? Do you have any idea of what you've just-"

"Begone." Sanae uttered as a bluster of wind came from a wave of her hand. The groom was literally blown away! Shoot the author.

Satori simply couldn't believe that Sanae was doing all of this for her. In a sense, Sanae's rash actions were commendable... and fascinating. "Sanae... san... UWAH!" The Moriya fujo lifted her in her arms and she was now carrying her like a newlywed. "Sanae-san!"

Sanae gazed into the pink haired esper's eyes. "You know, this is like something straight out of a romance novel."

Satori giggled. "If the lack of resistance from the congregation is any indication, I agree. Never mind that, let's be on our way!"

"Right!" Sanae nodded and proceed to fly away from Myouren Temple with the love of her life in her arms. Soon enough, the people in the wedding left the temple with mixed emotions. The only people left were the usual residents of said temple. Kogasa was sobbing. She cursed the satori's existence. Shou and Kumoi were both nodding their heads in sympathy. Nazrin conveniently decided it was time to walk her pet dog. Nue nonchalantly went about her business (probably to go hang out with her tanuki buddy). Kyouko resumed her duties of sweeping the yard of the temple.

Murasa whistled, "Well screw me raw without a rubber!"

"Shut up, Murasa," the youkai savior grunted dejectedly. This turned out to be one heck of a day! Oh well... back to square one.

SCENE CHANGE

Satori enjoyed the flight in Sanae's arms immensely. She was certainly glad that the wind priestess intervened the wedding just in the nick of time. To be honest, she didn't even knew her fiance's name. Hell, even his face was a mystery to her! That fact in itself was amazing. The only thing she really knew about the guy was that he was young and he really loved her (and fiends after her as well). Satori returned his feelings in the long run and it was on that day he proposed to her.

It was something out of a fairytale – a dream. Now that she thought about it, something wasn't right about the entire scenario. "Hmm..."

"What is it, Satori-chan?" Sanae asked, her hair breezing in the cool autumn wind heroically. They were now soaring over the Forest of Magic. "What's on your mind?"

"There's... something not right about all this," she responded as she cradled her arms around Sanae's shoulder more securely. "I hope I'm not the only one that thinks so. Don't you feel weird about something?"

Sanae elevated higher in the atmosphere. Aya appeared in front of them from seemingly out of nowhere with her camera and Sanae didn't want a head on collision with the reporter. The tengu took a number of snapshots and went on about her business. "Huh? What do you mean? I love you. There's nothing weird about it."

"I see..." Satori closed her eyes for a moment. The answer she received from Sanae confirmed it all. Everything was not as it seems. "I was right all along."

"About what?"

Satori nodded her head sadly and gazed deeply into her lover's eyes. "I simply cannot believe that I didn't notice this sooner. How could I've been so careless? Everything about this is unbelievable."

Sanae's confusion grew. "Satori..."

"Hush..." Satori gave the miko a warm smile and pressed her index finger on her lips. "Do you love me, Sanae?"

The mind reader's tender inquiry somehow distraught Sanae. "What are you on about? Of course I love you."

A tear glistened in Satori's violet eye. "I'm so happy. I have the same feelings for you, Sanae-san. I really do. It's mutual. I wish... I wish it was like this in reality..."

"Don't be ridiculous!"

"It's true," the satori was crying now. "Sanae, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But this is all a dream. My fiance, the wedding, no objections from the people when you broke the wedding... it's all a dream." She sniffed and wiped a tear from her eye. "I... I can't even read your thoughts. That further confirms that this isn't real."

"No. You have to be kidding me," Sanae stopped mid-flight like a hummingbird. "Don't cry, Satori! This is real!"

"Oh Sanae..." Satori closed her eyes again. "How I wish that this is true. In fact, this is too good to be so. Unfortunately... all things must come to an end. This... is the end of our story."

Sanae's eyes glistened as well. "No. NO! We're together, Satori! How can you—"

The priestess' exclamation was cut short due to Satori's lips meeting hers. The pink haired youkai kissed her human paramour with extreme passion. Her tongue embraced the tongue of her divine lover, signifying their farewell. Sanae nearly fell from the skies by such an surprise moment. If compromising her first kiss to Satori was a dream then she definitely didn't want to wake up! She wished that this moment would last forever! Unfortunately, they both had to catch their breath.

Satori broke from their kiss and the sad look she gave Sanae was enforced with finality. "This was a sweet... beautiful dream. I wish that we're able to share our feelings like this in reality." The satori's image suddenly became translucent. "Farewell... Sanae."

Sanae gasped as her lover began fading away before her eyes. "Satori! No! Please! Please don't leave me! I-I don't care if this is a dream!"

The pink haired girl dematerialized completely. Sanae was alone. "A dream..." came Satori's disembodied voice. "That is what so sad about it. It's time for you to open your eyes."

"No! I don't want to!" Sanae covered her face with her hands and began sobbing.

"I know it's hard, but you must WAKE UP!"

WAKE UP!

WAKE UP!

Wake up...

HAKUREI SHINE

"Hey! Wake up, ze!"

Sanae stirred at the sound of the familiar voice and her eyes shot open. "Eh? Where... am I?"

"Dang. You're at the Hakurei Shrine, remember?" Marisa Kirisame revealed, showing concern for the younger girl. "Reimu really put a number on you, ze."

"Wha..." Sanae slurred and pressed her left hand to her suddenly aching head. She realized that she was indeed at the Hakurei Shrine and her head was resting on Marisa's lap. She adverted her gaze towards the familiar torii of the said shrine's entrance and it finally hit her. "Oh no... I've lost."

"Again," Marisa added.

Sanae suddenly felt downright pitiful. "But... I've trained so hard. I was certain that I will beat Reimu-san this time in a duel."

"And let's not forget about our deal." Reimu approached them and knelt down on her haunches. Sanae noticed that the older girl had smudges of dirt on her face and tears on her robes. "Do you remember the condition in the event of your defeat, Sanae?"

Sanae sighed. The entire left side of her shirt was torn. Luckily she decided to wear a sarashi today. "I... I must accompany you and Marisa to the Scarlet Devil Manor. My losing was unfortunate, but I'm a woman of my word." Sanae had a nagging suspicion that Reimu must have hit her with the Fantasy Seal. Maybe that would explain the blissful dream of hers.

A victorious grin marked the older miko's face. "Good girl."

"I knew that you were going to lose," Marisa commented with a giggle. "It was pretty much a one-sided battle. You didn't even last five minutes."

"You're rubbing salt into my wounds, Marisa!" Sanae complained. After this ordeal was over, she vowed to request her ancestor to train her with a new rigorous regime. Knowing Suwako and her ways, Sanae would welcome the tough love. Reimu Hakurei was the greatest adversary that she has ever faced and Sanae simply couldn't live with herself if she were to never score a victory against the older girl. "Besides, what's the reason you guys are visiting Remilia's home again?"

"I wanna borrow a couple volumes from Patchy," Marisa chirped.

Reimu made a gesture with her thumb and index finger. "I haven't had any donations in months."

Sanae nodded her head sadly. She was going to help these girls in committing treachery at the Scarlet Devil Manor. She made a silent prayer to both Kanako and Suwako (and many other gods) for forgiveness. She was officially enrolled in Hakurei and Kirisame's School of Hard Knocks. "Fascinatin'..." she muttered.

SCARLET DEVIL MANOR

There was something off about Sakuya.

The eldest of the mansion surveyed the actions of her chief maid with a critical eye. The first thing noticeable about Sakuya was the slight hue of pink to her usually pale skin. Second, the silver haired servant was walking with a somewhat slower gait this evening. To the naked eye Sakuya's movements were completely unnoticeable, but to Remilia Scarlet... the maid's dilatory pace was as clear as day. Third, Sakuya seems to have a hard time catering to the weight of the food today and she was breathing laboriously. The vampire noticed the maid's lack of energy as well. Remilia paid special attention to the heartbeat of her subordinate, noticing the lag in her heart rate. Lastly, Sakuya accidentally dropped silverware on the dining room floor. Twice.

That has never happened before.

Sakuya was under-performing this evening. The changes were unsettling. Even the most adept fairy maids were on par with Sakuya. Something was wrong. She can smell it. "Sakuya, is everything well this evening?"

The perfect maid paused after setting a bouquet of gourmet bread on the center of the dining table. "Pardon?"

The Scarlet Devil's scrutiny caught the maid by surprise somehow. "I can't help but notice the slight change of both your craftsmanship and demeanor, Sakuya."

"Mistress, I am fine. Your curiosity is-"

"Oh. Don't get me wrong," the diminutive terror propped her elbows on the table. "You're still performing well, Sakuya. It's just that you aren't functioning at your zenith. Plus, you made a handful of minor mistakes."

"It's just one of those days, I suppose." Sakuya replied. "I apologize for raising your concerns, Mistress."

"Hmm. How... altruistic of you," Remilia gazed at her right hand woman intently. "Perhaps I should get the wine myself."

"That... won't be necessary," Sakuya wheezed. She started off to return to the kitchen but she didn't noticed a fairy maid with dishes behind her. She bumped into the fairy and it yelp as the dishes flew out of her hands.

"Oh no!" The fairy shrieked. "We were grilling the steaks for hours!"

"Got it!" Hong Meiling was immediately on the scene. She performed a back-flip twice and followed up with a perfect somersault. She caught the endangered plates in midair and gracefully landed on her feet. "That was close. Be a little more careful next time, okay." She placed the dishes on the table.

Sakuya nodded. "I'll keep that in mind, Meiling." She faced Remilia and gave a bow of courtesy. "Please forgive my ineptitude. It won't happen again." She made her leave towards the kitchen.

Meiling placed her hands on her shapely hips. "Gosh. She's definitely not herself today, isn't she?"

"Do tell..." the Scarlet Devil twiddled her fingers while her ruby eyes scowled. "That's an understatement. There is something very wrong with that child."

"Hmm..." Meiling sat at the table and crossed her legs. She noticed the strange air about her friend as well. "What do you think is wrong with Sakuya? She can't be overworked. She enjoys her job and takes pride in it."

The elder of the manor prodded her chin thoughtfully. "Perhaps I should allow her to rest for a day or two."

Meiling stood straight up from her chair as her hands slammed onto the table. "What! ? You're kidding, right?" If Remilia really considered giving Sakuya a few days off, that would mean no pasta for a while. Meiling loved Sakuya's pasta! "I can't go a few days without Sakuya's cooking! She makes a mean Chicken Alfredo!"

"You're a youkai, Meiling. I'm sure that you can endure it." Remilia narrowed her eyes. "Speaking of youkai, our guest is still here, right?"

"I didn't see her leaving here so I guess so." Meiling admitted. "And I didn't fell asleep this time."

"Very well. She can stay over for dinner." Remilia crossed her legs under the table. "Flan and the others will be here shortly."

Inside the kitchen, Sakuya was leaning over the sink while ruminating. She was not feeling well today. Her head was throbbing in pain and it became increasingly hard to breathe. Okay. Get it together, Sakuya. She thought to herself. She poured herself a cup of cold tap water and downed it in a single gulp. I haven't felt this queasy since I was a child... but I can't afford to show weakness in front of the Mistress. She held a hand over her bosom as her breathing became more strenuous. I can't believe that I'm lacking energy today. What in the world is going on with my body?

"Sakuya!" A a pink haired fairy cook announced as she entered the kitchen. "Remilia-sama and the others are waiting on the Caesar salad. Would you like for me to bring it to them in your stead?"

"No. That won't be necessary," Sakuya replied and grabbed the huge salad bowl from the table in front of the fairy. It took nearly every ounce of her being to even lift the bowl. "Allow me."

The fairy noticed how much of a struggle for Sakuya to hold the bowl. "Are you sure?"

"Positive," the made gave her fairy companion a genuine smile. However, she was crumbling on the inside. "I better get going. It's best not to keep empty stomachs waiting." And with that she exits the kitchen into the dining room. This time every resident of the manor was sitting at the dining table (including Patchouli's guest). Flandre tried to snatch a large piece of steak from the center of the table but her older sister was there to stop her. Flan pouted at her after a admonishing gesture of her hand. Patchy's guest was reading a paperback novel. She seem to be deeply immersed in the tale.

"Here's the salad everyone," said Sakuya as she placed it on the table. A wave of dizziness suddenly washed over her. "I... I'll be back with the drinks in a moment." She sunk in a chair and brought her hand over her eyes. Ugh. The pain is getting worse.

"Aw! Salad?" Flandre pouted. "I hate vegetables! I'm not eating a bit of it!"

"Quiet Flan," Remili commanded before she regarded Sakuya. "Sakuya, maybe you should take a leave and give yourself a break. You're clearly not yourself today. Allow me to go get our wine and drinks."

"I am fine. There's no need for concerns."

"Are you?" Remilia imposed on the maidservant. "Are you really? Sakuya, there is something wrong with you today. I can tell by your heartbeat and the smell of your blood. Don't lie to me."

"Uwah! You're right." Flandre acknowledged, noticing Remi's scrutiny at last. "Your heart is beating slowly, Sakuya. It's even going slower than Patchy's." Said youkai magician glowered at the younger Scarlet. Her demon familiar chuckled at the resentment.

"Don't... worry..." Sakuya stood up on shaking legs. Her vision blurred. "I'll... be just... ugh..."

Sakuya fainted. She hit the floor with a soft thud.

"Sakuya?" Remilia shot from her seat and came to Sakuya's aid in an instant. The urgency in her voice cause her calm tone to rise into a shriek. "Sakuya!"

Meiling was kneeling besides Sakuya was well. "What's wrong with her, Remilia? Isn't she still alive?"

Remilia propped the maid's head against her chest. "This isn't good. Sakuya's really sick! Her temperature is through the roof!"

Flandre was having second thoughts about the steak. "Uh... nevermind."

"A fever?" Meiling wondered. "She must be really sick then."

"No. It's worse. I've suspected it earlier but I should have known," Remilia lifted the unconscious girl off the floor in a princess carry. "Sakuya has influenza!"

After the vampire's confirmation, everyone at the table blanched. They slowly excused themselves from the table. Food was now the last thing on their minds. "Just where do you think you're going?"Remilia asked in a authoritative tone.

"I'm heading back to Voile," Patchouli remarked noncommittally. She cut a glare at Flandre. "There's certainly no need for me to be more ill than I already am."

Remilia scowled again. Why the nerve of that big-tittied nerd! Haven't it ever occurred to her that Sakuya isn't the only one that cooks dinner? "You should be ashamed of yourself, Patchy." She gazed over to Koakuma, the overly friendly demon girl. "And what about you, Koa? What excuses do you have?"

"I guess I don't want to contract a human-borne illness," the redhead intoned cautiously. "I heard from many demons that humans bear the worst diseases. Perhaps maybe I can help you nurse Sakuya back to health if you like?"

"No need," Remilia remarked as an idea formed in her mind. "With Sakuya ill it would mean bad news for us."

"What do you mean?" Meiling wondered, snatching a piece of bread from the table and biting into it. "You have me around. What is there to be worried about?"

Remilia gazed flatly at the yaojing. "That is what I'm afraid of."

Meiling gasped. "That was mean!"

"You're a youkai woman! Suck it up!" Remilia snapped before regarding everyone again. "Honestly... I may need two of you to work in Sakuya's stead." She spoke to Koakuma again. "Koa, you're going to have to patrol the mansion. Just in case something goes for the worse. I'm sure that you're more than competent enough to take care of would be intruders."

A hopeful look gleamed in Hong's eyes. "Ah! What about me? What will my duties be since Sakuya is going to be bed-ridden for a while?"

Remilia sighed. "Gate guard. No buffs or nerfs."

Meiling's entire being became white as a sheet of paper. "Ga-kuuuun!"

"What about me, Big Sis?" Flan was pointing at herself cutely. Remilia was hit with a bout of jealousy when she noticed the small mounds on her little sister's chest. She shuddered as they began jiggling due to Flan hopping up and down excitement. "C'mon, tell me! Huh! Huh!"

Remilia growled. "You. You go back to your room. I'll bring you cake."

"Really?" Flan hoped.

"Yes Flan," the older vampire replied unconvincingly (just don't tell Flan that). "I'll even bring you a triple chocolate cake loaded with pecans, strawberries, and vanilla cream." Yes Flan! I'm going to bring you a low calorie chocolate cake! Therefore your boobs will hopefully stop growing at an alarming rate!

"Yay!" Flandre cheered and vanished from the dining room, followed by a gust of wind.

PICCHUN!

"Ahhhnn!" Koakuma blushed, holding her skirt down in order to keep if from fluttering.

(Un)Fortunately for Patchouli, she caught a glimpse of heaven on the hell-born girl. "Mukyuu!" She held a hand over her now bleeding nose.

Remilia sighed once again. Sometimes she wondered why Patchy kept Koa around. She was beginning to suspect that besides being Patchy's assistant, she was also there as eye candy. Go figure. She nodded her head and glanced at the guest of honor. "I'm sorry to impose this on you, but would you mind staying over for a while? I'll even pay you."

"Hey!" Hong, Koa, and Patchy exclaimed simultaneously.

The guest diverted her attention from the novel in her hands. "Of course," came her dulcet reply. "Why not? I'll be glad to give you a helping hand."

"Excellent." Remilia said in a evil tone as she carried Sakuya to her room.

MISTY LAKE

"So," Sanae said in order to break the silence. She was flying over a giant lake along with Reimu and Marisa. "What's it like inside the mansion?"

"Spooky." Marisa admitted while surfing on her broom. Showoff.

"And European," Reimu commented. "If I ever wanted to travel to Europe I might as well go to Remi's place for a visit. Seriously, she has tons of souvenirs from many countries there."

"I see..." the youngest girl considered. She met Remilia before and to be honest, Remi was the cutest thing on the other side of Suwako. In fact, the vampire was grinning in glee once she discovered that there was someone in Gensokyou that is smaller than her (much to Suwako's chagrin). Because of that, the Queen of The Night has been on the Highest of the Native God's shit-list ever since. However, something about going to Remilia's abode bothered Sanae. While Remilia was an inviting and sociable person, Sanae couldn't help but sense murderous vibes from the vampire. In all of the easygoing nature and charisma about Remilia, Sanae feared her. To have subordinates as efficient as Sakuya Izayoi and one as powerful as Hong Meiling, Sanae assumed Remilia to be a very formidable being. Now that she thought about it, the sun was to set in a matter of minutes. "I have a bad feeling about this."

"Don't worry," Marisa reassured with a wide beautiful grin. "We're going go inside Remi's crib, take what we need, and be out. Remilia won't know what hit her, ze!"

Sanae sighed. "That doesn't sound very assuring now, does it?"

"Hey!" Reimu pointed ahead of them. "I can see the mansion."

After traveling through low clouds and fog, the abode of the Scarlet Devil was now in sight. It was an impressive edifice with an intricate Western design. While the main body of the mansion was a two-storied building, it was adorned with with three towers. The clock tower was the tallest among them. If anything, the Scarlet Devil Manor looked more like a castle from afar and that what gave it an imposing appearance. To Sanae, the manor looked downright sinister.

"Damn it," Reimu swore as she swatted a flying creature. "It's only dusk and the bats are already flying about."

"Whoa!" Sanae gasped as a swarm suddenly appeared. "How creepy! This is straight out of a horror movie!"

"Cranky little fuckers, aren't they?" Marisa quipped while she guarded her face. "Must be something big about to go down tonight."

"We're almost passed the shore of the lake." Reimu announced. "Let's lower altitude and prepare to land."

Sanae nodded. Deep down she was kinda scared but she was accompanied by both Reimu and Marisa. Knowing that fact strengthened her courage. "Right."

"Hold it right there!" A cosseted voice commanded.

The three girls stopped mid-flight to prevent themselves from colliding into the person that suddenly appeared before them. She hovered before the girls with a mischievous expression on her face. She was sitting cross-legged on a keystone. "What the heck, Tenshi?" Reimu expressed her annoyance.

The Celestial smirked at Reimu's vexation. There were a few smudges on her face along with a some rips on her pretty blue dress. The most curious thing about Tenshi right now was the body of an unconscious girl slumped over her right shoulder. Judging from Sanae's expression, she was very familiar with the girl. "What are you guys up to?"

"We're about to raid Remilia's place," eagerly remarked Marisa. "You can tag along, toots. You down?"

The smirk on the Celestial's face grew. "Bitchin'. Can't wait to see the look on that smug blood-sucker's face."

"Hey, what happened to Nue?" Sanae asked the billion yen question. "Why are you carrying that alien around?"

"Oh? You mean this?" Tenshi patted the undefined girl on her back. "I was bored. Saw this girl flying around the skies of Bhava-agra and decided to challenge her to a fight. It was a good fight but I kicked this cockroach's ass profusely."

"Cockroach?" Reimu and Marisa wondered.

"Eh? You mean to tell me that she's not a cockroach youkai?"

"Afraid not, Tenshi-san." Sanae confirmed as she nodded her head. "That's Nue Houjuu. A mysterious girl with the ability to feed off of fear and to conceal her true form. Nobody can be certain that her humanoid form is her true form for no one has ever seen it before. I am absolutely certain that she's a space alien, though."

"Is that right?" Tenshi grinned.

"Undefined form, eh?" Marisa got closer to Tenshi and smacked the black clad girl on the derriere. "One thing's for sure, she has a nice backside. Guess it compensates for her lack of boobs."

"Marisa... you're impossible." Reimu sighed at the witch's shenanigans. "Whatever. You can come along with us, Tenshi. Just don't get in our way, okay?"

"As you wish, Hakurei Maiden." Tenshi remarked sarcastically and tagged along with the others.

SCARLET DEVIL MANSION

ENTRANCE GATES

The human protagonists and their celestial companion landed on the earth. Noticing that there was a presence guarding the mansion's gates, they hid behind the veil of numerous trees in front of it. Different colored sets of eyes peered through the foliage. The gang realized that the guard was wide awake and thus they began formulating their plan. The yaojing was rather difficult to contend with on one of her good days. A fact that Marisa learned the hard way when she left her hakkero at home a while back.

"It's China," said the brown pair of eyes.

"Looks like she's on point this evening," the golden set of eyes commented. "Should I zap her with a Master Spark from here?"

"No Marisa," the brown orbs admonished. "She doesn't deserve such a cheap-shot. China's the friendliest person of the mansion."

"Judging from here, she looks rather hard to exterminate," a pair of ember eyes surveyed. "This is a sneaking mission, right? What do you suppose our course of action in order to get past her?"

"Nice trousers she's wearing," complimented the mischievous red eyes, noting the baggy black pants on the sentry. "The dragon design on the left leg is awesome."

Off in the distance before the stealthy girls, the sentry sneezed. "Achoo!" After the minor sternutation, Meiling's blue eyes became shifty. "Someone must be taking shots at me..."

The gold eyes narrowed. "Damn. She's totally unaware of our presence, ze. It's a rare bank-shot, Reimu. I'm itching to take it."

"I said no, Marisa!"

"You're no fun, ze," the golden eyes gleamed pitifully. "No fun at all!"

"Humph. She doesn't looks so tough," the red eyes scoffed. "Allow me to take care of her, ladies. It'll be over in minutes."

"Ah! I know!" Ember Eyes perked at a bright idea. The next thing they knew, a large cardboard box with the word 'ZUN' embedded on it emerged from the foliage. "Aha!"

"Sanae, what in Yukari's name are you doing?" Brown Eyes wondered.

"Duh! I'm going to get past Meiling-san," Sanae-in-the-box answered. "Don't worry, Reimu-san. She won't notice a thing. This is the oldest trick in the book. It's tactical espionage action, baby!"

"What the hell?" Golden Eyes wondered as Sanae crept towards the mansion. "She's going to blow our cover! If by some miracle that she manages to get past China, then... I'll eat one of Alice's dolls the next time I see her, ze!"

"Holy smokes!" Red Eyes exclaimed as the moving box was completely ignored by the gate guard. "Looks like you're having Barbie for dinner, then."

"No way!" Golden Eyes uttered in disbelief as a question mark hovered over Meiling's head. There, right before their collective eyes, was Meiling staring at the box in curiosity. After an awkward silence, Meiling resumed her patrol. While Meiling's back was turned, Sanae emerged from the box and took the opportunity to jump over the gates. "Well... that happened."

"Would you like curry and hot sauce with your Doll a'la Mode?" Red Eyes giggled.

"Damn. Looks like I'm gonna have to pay Alice a visit after this is all over and done with."

"Aha! Eye thawt eye herd some peepuls talkin' over here!" A bratty voice laughed. "Come on out! Yew can't hide from the strongest! Burr!"

Reimu sighed. "Gracious! Can this get any worse?"

As if answering Reimu's question, Meiling was now on alert. "Who goes there! ?" A exclamation point was hovering above her head.

Marisa face-palmed. "Fucking... Cirno!"

Cirno, brought to you by a 1080p monitor, glistened in her arctic glory. The blue aura emitting from her was just plain awesome! "Dat's right! Burr! Eye found yew! What'cha gonna do bout it, ya trykks?"

Reimu narrowed her eyes. "Cirno... I'll bet my pet turtle that you can't even spell the word tricks."

"Oh yes eye can!" Cirno meet the red-white's challenge. "Get ready t'be am... am... amazing! It's... t... r... y... k... uh, give me a sec... k... s! Ha! Burr! BURR!"

Marisa made a face. "You know, I would make a joke regarding spelling and grammar right now. That, along with the joke of Rumia and the decimal system ran it's course years ago. Holy Youkrist on a floating ship – you're dumb as hell!"

"Shut up!" Cirno rudely pointed at Marisa. "Get ready for da fight of ya life! Burr!"

"Come on out!" Meiling beckoned menacingly. "I know you're there!"

Tenshi cracked her knuckles. "Looks like this is my cue to step up to her," she laid the unconscious Nue on the ground and emerged from the hiding spot. "You two go on without me. I'll take care of the gate guard."

"Good deal." Marisa agreed and took out her hakkero. She aimed it at Cirno.

"Whoa! Hold up a-"

"Master Spark!"

"ACK!" Cirno instantly disintegrated, a legion of red and blue cards fluttering about where her body used to be.

"So much for her," the Hakurei miko commented offhandedly. "C'mon Marisa. Let's get a move on!" She sprung from the greenery along with the witch. Both of them were making a mad sprint towards the mansion. Just as they were about to bound over the gates, Meiling charged at them.

"Oh no you don't!" She closed in on Reimu, intent on striking the miko with a blow so devastating that it will have her out for days. During the very last moment, a hand caught her fist. Her eyes widening in surprise, Meiling glared at the intruder. "What?"

Tenshi returned Meiling's glare with a haughty grin. "Nice night for a fight, right? C'mon... show me a good time."

Meiling hopped away from her challenger. As she stared at the Celestial, a smile of appreciation marked her face. "Well this is a treat. It been so long since I engaged someone as strong as you are in hand-to-hand combat. Wha-"

Before Meiling can react, Tenshi already closed in on her and she delivered a powerful right hook to Meiling's chin. The force of the blow made her body spiral in midair before it met the ground again. Tenshi was satisfied by the blow. "First attack."

Meiling kipped off the ground, realizing she was sent a few feet away from her opponent. Deeply impressed by the physical strength of her adversary, Meiling wiped the blood that was trickling down her chin. "You're pretty strong. That punch made me bit my tongue."

"Ah. You liked that," Tenshi tightened her fist as she took a stance. "You ready for more? I can assure you a well-whooped ass."

"Sure. That sounds like fun." Hong adopted a kung-fu stance and beckoned her opponent. "Well... let the head-busting begin!"

Meanwhile...

Sakuya stirred away from unconsciousness with a slight pain in her head. She gasped when she realized that she was lying on something cool and soft. "Where... where... am I?" She asked aloud, her vision still a little blurry.

"Ah. You're awake," came Remilia's voice.

"Oh... Oujou-sama?" Sakuya wondered in confusion. Another wave of nausea hit her. "Ugh!"

"Relax Sakuya. Don't try to move so much." Remilia informed, preparing a cup of hot tea. "Here. Drink this."

"Thank you, Mistress," the maid graciously accepted the cup and began drinking it. After taking a good gulp, Sakuya regarded her master again. "What... happened? Where am I?"

"You... happened and you're in your room." Remilia remarked curtly. The vampire's back was turned to her.

"What do you mean?" Sakuya wondered. "I was about to serve everyone dinner down in the kitchen just now."

"That happened nearly two hours ago, Sakuya." Remilia turned to face Sakuya with worry in her eyes.

"Pardon?" Sakuya's sight was returning. It wasn't much, but it was improving.

"You're stricken with influenza, Sakuya." Remilia revealed much to the maid's surprise. "Your health was failing so much that you've passed out in the dining room. You're boiling hot and I can tell how different your blood smells. It... smells like oddly bittersweet, like a mixture of corn syrup and meat seasoning."

Despite her health, Sakuya managed to smile. "I'm afraid that was what I put on the gourmet bread and steaks, respectively."

Remilia blushed. "Shut up."

Sakuya brought her hand to her mouth and giggled. "Sorry. Sorry."

"All jokes aside, Sakuya... I did smelled something in your blood. That, along with the decreased rate of your heart." Remilia revealed. "That is one serious pathogen that's working your immune system right now."

"Don't worry, Mistress. It's just a flu." Sakuya gazed into her half filled cup. "Whatever doesn't kill me only makes me stronger."

Remilia crossed her legs on the chair near Sakuya's bed. "I certainly hope that my worries are in vain, Sakuya. Many decades ago I witnessed countless human beings lose their lives to the very ailment that plagues your body right now." She leaned over and laid a hand on Sakuya's forehead. "You're burning up inside. The pathogen is inside and literally giving your immune system the fight of your life."

Sakuya simply couldn't believe how caring her master was right now. She already knew that the vampire cares for everyone living in the mansion (Hong included), but she never would have thought that it was to this degree. "Oujou... sama..."

"Don't worry, Sakuya. The Queen of the Night is going to make sure that you recover from that human-borne impurity." Remilia intoned dramatically. "With me by your side, no pathogen would dare curse your flesh after this setback."

Perhaps... this is Remilia's maternal side finally revealing itself? Speaking of matriarchal instinct, Sakuya couldn't remember her mother. In fact, she can't ever remember her mother's face nor her name. Yet she felt the warmth coming from Remilia. It was as if she had experience with children before. In a sense, her, Patchy, Koa, and Meiling were the children of the Scarlet Devil. That would theoretically make Flandre their aunt. Ultimately, the haughty little queen was somewhat taking care of all of them.

"Thank you for your kindness," Sakuya noted.

"Eh?"

Sakuya wanted to cry but she refused to let her tears flow before her master. "You've humbled yourself in order to... nurse me back to health. You... simply don't know how amazing you are, Mistress..."

"Shh..." Remilia ruffled her maidservant's silver hair. "Glad to see that you're feeling a bit better than before. Now, rest your head and try to get some sleep. That should help yo-"

"Remilia-sama!" Koakuma suddenly burst into the room."

"What is it, Koa?" Remilia sensed the urgency in the demon's tone. "Tell me what's wrong?"

"We have intruders!" Koakuma explained, shaking in her loafers. "Patchouli-sama sent me here to ask for our course of action!"

"Shit!" Remilia hissed. She sensed the presence of four beings- two of them the usual. "The manor is filled with the scent of bitches! Seems like Reimu and that witch brought along company. Damn, at such an inopportune time while they're at it! With Sakuya being ill, thwarting intruders has become significantly more difficult."

"Who are they?" Koakuma cowered, meaning the other two interlopers. One of the presence downright frightened the little devil. "I have a real bad feeling about one of them."

"Hmm..." Remilia 'scanned' the energy signs of her new enemies. "One of them is one-fourth god, the damned earth goddess' little cub! The other one..." the vampire's pupils suddenly constricted. "Is a Celestial! The very same one that shattered Reimu's shrine a few years ago."

"Oh no!" Koakuma's heart wanted to jump out of her chest. "I don't know if I can deal with-"

"Koa! Get a hold of yourself!" Remilia commanded. "Don't worry. We'll find a way to dispatch them... somehow."

"I'll fight alongside you!" Sakuya threw the comforter off of her, revealing a rather short and flimsy blue-colored sick gown. It only reached the maid's upper thighs and both the assistant librarian and vampire blushed at the sight of it. "Oh dear. This is rather tight. Mistress, where's my uniform?"

"No need, Sakuya. You need your rest." Remilia stood up from the chair.

"But Mistress-"

"Do as I say, Sakuya!" Remilia commanded with pure authority. "You are no condition to fight whatsoever!"

Sakuya laid back down on the bed. Defeated. "Yes, Mistress."

"Now..." Remilia regarded Koakuma. "Let's be on our way to take care of those fools. One of them is close so let's capture her first. She will soon learn a lesson that she will never forget."

Koa agreed with the devil. "Of course, Remilia-sama."

OUTSIDE THE MANSION

"Hey, are you okay?" A voice said. "Wake up."

Nue stirred at the sound of the high-pitched voice. "Wha..."

"Good. Looks like you're coming around," the voice spoke again. "You're all banged up. What happened? Were you attacked by humans?"

"H-humans?" Nue stammered in both confusion and grogginess. Her vision was still hazy as she sat up on her haunches. "Just... what... are you talking... about?"

"Your clothes are tattered, miss. You are a youkai, right?"

"Of course I am..." Nue scoffed painfully at the ridiculous assumption.

"It's likely that humans attacked you, then."

"Humans..." Nue's vision was clearing. She could make out a girl in a blue dress. "Bah! Don't... be ridiculous. As if humans can harm me."

"Well, the black-white witch destroyed my friend several minutes ago," the girl in the blue dress said. "I saw it happened with my own eyes. Cirno was instantly vaporized."

"Cirno? Who in the hell is that?" Nue wondered, noticing the girl before her was a fairy. In fact, this wasn't an ordinary fairy. This one was rather large and she had a majestic air about her. To the nue's surprise, the fairy is almost as big as she was.

"Cirno's my friend," the big fairy revealed. "She's the self-proclaimed strongest in Gensokyou."

"Oh, that thing..." Nue grunted. She tried to raise herself off her hindquarters and there were several jolts of pain throughout her body. "Argh! It hurts to move!"

"I've told you that you were banged up."

"Who are you?" Nue demanded, feeling slightly uncomfortable of being slightly larger than the grand fairy before her. "Did you attacked me? My name's Nue, by the way."

"My name's Daiyousei," Dai introduced. "And no, it wasn't me who attacked you. A girl with blue hair left your body here before she engaged the gate guard into a fight."

"A blue haired girl?" Nue was starting to gather an inkling of her attacker's identity.

"Yes." Daiyousei answered. "She was traveling with Reimu, Marisa, and the girl from Moriya."

"Shit," Nue swore. Now she knew the reason of her pain. "It's that girl from heaven! She saw me flying around that big ol' rock in the sky and challenged me in a fight. Damn... she's much tougher than I thought."

Daiyousei fluttered her four wings in concern. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Don't worry," Nue managed a wink. "I heal fast, kid."

Dai blushed and looked away. "Oh... I see."

"Say... where am I?"

"Oh! You're in front of the Scarlet Devil Manor."

Suddenly battle cries were heard. Nue jerked at the sounds of them. "The hell was that?"

Dai peered through the greenery. "Looks like the girl who beaten you is now fighting the gate guard."

"What?" Nue painfully crawled over near Daiyousei at the bushes. The fairy's entire being glowed red when the nue's hip brushed against her forearm. "Lemee see! I have a bone to pick with that fool. Once I'm healed, I'm going to knock her smug ass out!"

Daiyousei stared at the undefined woman in admiration. Even while scowling fiercely the nue was absolutely breathtaking! The mysterious girl was quite lovely but Dai sensed some serious dark vibes from her. While Nue appeared to be quite mischievous at a glance, there was something immensely foreboding deep down in her spirit. Dai was somewhat familiar with the air of darkness about the black clad girl. It reminded her of Flandre Scarlet, the devil's little sister. While Flandre was dreadfully powerful... she was innocent. Flandre Scarlet don't know any better.

Nue on the other hand... seem to have a menacing intent- murderous even. The big fairy would not be surprised if the girl went hand in hand with violence once upon a time. She detected a history of violence just by the glint of her evil red eyes and the sound of her boyish voice. For all she know, Nue may have been a terror to both humans and youkai. Perhaps she was right.

Weird. Something about the girl drew Daiyousei to her. Granted, the nue was attractive but it seems to be an invisible force that beckoned for the fairy's attention. Like a demon luring a wary soul to destruction, Dai knew this was wrong. But... this feeling felt so right to her. This girl... how come I can't... keep my eyes off of her?

Nue shifted her weight on her legs as she watched the fight between the Celestial and gate guard intensified. "Looks like they're really getting into it." Nue said. "I hope that bitch gets her ass kicked."

Gods of the Moriya! She has a beautiful voice! Daiyousei mentally gushed. It's so tough and deep... yet it's dulcet and feminine! Kyah! She would make a good singer!

"C'mon! Kick her ass, gate guard!" Nue wagered by swinging her fists. She jabbed twice with her right fist and delivered a southpaw hook. "Show her that you don't mess around! Fuck her up!"

Dai giggled. It looks like I have an attraction to bad girls.

Tenshi VS Meiling

"Uh-oh!" Tenshi sidestepped a left blow that was aimed for her head. Meiling closed in while following pursuing her with a volley of quick punches to her head. Tenshi guard and evaded them all (so far). "You're fast! But you have to be a bit faster if you want to land an attack on me!"

"Ha!" Meiling attempted a spearhead to Tenshi's neck and missed as the arrogant girl ducked. She swiftly spun in a circle on the ball of her right foot and lashed out with a spinning back kick with her left leg. It was blindingly fast but Tenshi caught her leg. "Eh! No way!"

Tenshi retaliated with a kick to Meiling's abdomen as she released the guard's offending limb. Meiling fell on her butt from the force of the kick. "Ow!" She cried as she rubbed her butt. "That hurts!"

"What?" Tenshi allowed her red haired adversary to gather herself back onto her feet. "You wa shock, much?"

"Whatever. Talk is cheap," Meiling fumed.

"Well it's a good thing that I can back up such cheap talk then," Tenshi countered.

"Yaaa!" Meiling was instantly back in Tenshi's face, her left forearm on a collision course to the Celestial's nose. Tenshi gasped in surprise. She noticed that the gate guard was moving faster than before. Tenshi shifted her head to the left and struck Hong in the chest with her knee. "Gah!" Hong fell back while clutching her ample chest. "Watch it! These are sensitive! You're not fighting a male opponent, you know?"

"Back on your feet," Tenshi beckoned the shuddering redhead on the ground. "If you are a true warrior then gender shouldn't be an issue. I doesn't matter."

Meiling gathered herself on her feet again. "You're wrong. You wouldn't understand. You hardly have any breasts to begin with."

"What?" Tenshi blushed in embarrassment. "How dare you insult me!"

"Now would you look at that?" Hong giggled in a mocking tone of voice. "A moment ago it was you who was doing the cheap talking. Now look at you... I said one joke and you're offended. Words are weapons too, you know? Any 'warrior' should know that."

Tenshi snarled as she tried her best to dispel her case of breast envy. "Touche."

"I have to give it to you, though," the gate guard put up her dukes. "You're pretty good. You were able to evade and counter everything I threw at you so far."

A sardonic smile appeared on the Celestial's face. "Is that a fact? That's good to know. At least now I know those huge melons of yours are a glaring weakness. It's time to wrap this fight up."

"You're not touching my chest again," Meiling warned. "I won't allow it. I didn't know that Celestial warriors fought so cheaply."

"Shut up!" Tenshi flew towards her opponent with a flying kick. Unfortunately for her, Meiling caught her leg and slammed her down on the ground hard. "Oof!"

"Ki-yah!" Meiling attempted a punch to Tenshi's face while she was down. The Celestial rolled away from the incoming strike just in the nick of time. Evidently, Hong poured a lot of strength into her fist because her entire forearm was in the ground.

Tenshi went on the offensive again while her adversary's arm was lodged into the earth. The blue haired girl raised her right fist, preparing a mighty blow to Meiling's head. The redhead freed her arm from the soil and sidestepped Tenshi's incoming fist. However, the Celestial kept the pressure as she turned towards Meiling and attempted a roundhouse kick to her ribs. Meiling blocked Tenshi's kick and propped her weight on the the haughty girl's shoulders. Using the Celestial's shoulders as leverage, she propelled over her. Feeling insulted because the larger woman used her like a stepping stone, Tenshi swiftly turned around and kicked Meiling in the face.

"Ugh!" Meiling reeled from the boot that struck her face. In a clever manner, Meiling used both her hands as she fell backwards in order to perform a back-flip. It turned out to be a very clever maneuver because Tenshi was kicked in the face by both of the gate guard's feet. She performed four consecutive back-flips in order to space herself away from Tenshi. When she resumed her stance she realized that Tenshi was lying on her back. "Back on your feet."

"Double touche," Tenshi grunted as she pried herself off the ground. "That was a nice little number you hit me with."

"You want to continue this dance?"

"Yes," Tenshi remarked. "Isn't it the general idea?"

SCARLET DEVIL MANOR – VOILE LIBRARY

Marisa stood before the entrance of the great library. The grand door before her were had a large stone demon head embellished above it along with two gargoyles on both sides. Such 'welcoming' decorations wasn't there before and Marisa admit that they were kinda creepy. The eyes of the statues glow red once she opened the door. "Oh-ho. Patchy's trying to prevent visitors from entering Voile, eh? She has the right idea... considering that she spruced up the door with creepy stones."

The Ordinary Witch strode down the purple colored carpet of the library. She also noticed the change of color about the carpet. It was originally red but she guessed that the librarian opted for a shade that suited her. It's either that or she renovated the floor in order to give it a more minatory ambiance. Another change about the library were the color of the flames on the lamps. The flames were now glowing a shade of sinister blue, enhancing the forbidding atmosphere of the place. Marisa was thoroughly touched by the idea. She truly appreciated Patchouli for going out of her way in order to finally acknowledge Marisa as her equal.

"Aw, this is nice." Marisa whistled. "To think that she did all this for little ol me. I'm so proud of her!"

Then... there was a fluttering sound.

"What the heck is that sound?" Marisa turned around on her heels and saw a book hovering behind her eerily. "Wow! Would ya look at that? A flying book. Ain't it cute?"

The book suddenly swooped down and collided with Marisa's head. She fell to the floor from the impact. "Son of a bitch! That book just attacked me!" She rolled over onto her belly and saw the offending book hovering several feet before her. "Damn. That's a mighty nice gimmick there."

The book shook and shot it's way towards the witch again. "Nah-uh! I won't fall for the same trick twice!" Marisa went into her pocket and fished out her hakkero. She pointed it towards the approaching book and a thin golden beam shot forth from it, evaporating the book. "Hah!"

She heard the fluttering sound again. Two books emerged from the shelves this time. "Okay... I see where this is going," the witch grabbed her broom that was strapped on her back and held it like a professional batter. "You wanna play with me? Okay then!"

The books zoomed their way towards Marisa at an incredible speed. Fortunately, Marisa was prepared this time. "Batter up!" Once the books were within range she took a mighty swing and knocked them into the high ceiling. The books exploded on impact. "Holy crap! Exploding books? Patchy must really hate my guts."

"With the way you're constantly invading her library I would too," a voice in the shadows remarked. "Yet, knowing Patchouli's animosity towards you, here you are again. Why do you always do this?"

Marisa replied to the disembodied voice. "And who are you? It can't be Koa because your voice isn't as high-pitched as hers. You're another one of Patchy's imps from hell?"

"That's out of the question," the voice said. "Now leave before I force my hand in the matter."

"Aw! That's not very nice."

"Of course," the voice relayed. "That's the point"

"Sheesh." Marisa raised her hands with a nod. "Sakuya shows more hospitality than you."

"You're not making your way out of here, yet?"

"You want me to leave? Why should I?" Marisa suddenly parted a group of books on a nearby shelf, exposing a pair of gaping deep blue eyes. "The fun has just begun... my dear ol neighbor!"

"What?" Alice gasped. "How did you know it was me?"

"The hidden badass role just isn't you, girl." Marisa grinned, relishing the puppeteer's surprise. "Nice try, though. I know the sound of your voice like the back of my hand, ze." She raised her left hand and inspected the back of it. "What the hell? Since when did I had a birthmark here?"

"Ugh," Alice sighed and made her way around the bookcase to face Marisa. "Your kleptomania never ceases to amaze me, Marisa. I wonder what in the world ever happened to your conscience when you commit such acts."

Marisa was confused. "Conscience?"

"Nevermind. I see now. Very well..." Hourai and Shanghai appeared around their master along with several other dolls. "I'm the Scarlet Devil Manor's guest of honor tonight and Remilia is paying me handsomely for combating any nuisances that would invade it."

"Looks like we have to fight it out, huh?"

"I'm afraid so." Alice replied.

"Wait. Before we go blasting off at each other with dolls and Spell Cards, give me a sec." Marisa snatched one of the dolls hovering around Alice. "There is something I need to do..."

"Eh? What do you mean by that? Why did you took one of my dolls?" Alice wondered. She definitely got her answer! What Alice was now witnessing cause her face to turn blue in absolute horror. "EEK! MARISA! WHAT IN MY MOTHER'S REALM ARE YOU DOING! ! ?"

Nom!

Marisa was chewing on the severed head of the doll in her hands. "Being a woman of my word, that's what I'm doing!" Yomp!

Alice pointed a shaky finger at her rival, her eyes were giant white orbs and voice shrieking as if Mystia encountered Yuyuko in a dark alley. "Y... yo- YOU'RE EATING MY DOLL!"

"Ugh!" Marisa pounded her chest and coughed out an artificial eye. "Argh! You think I'm enjoying this? These things are disgusting!"

"YOU SAVAGE!" Alice's cry could break mirrors if there were any around. "MARISA, YOU HORRIBLE HEARTLESS HEINOUS BITCH!"

"I'm sorry, Alice! But I had to- oof!" Marisa's apology was cut short because her neighbor gave her a devastating punch that sent her flying like a bullet.

"DAMN YOU!" Alice swore in unadulterated rage. "TROOPER – 'SUICIDE SQUADRON'!"

The poor witch was now in deep shit.

ELSEWHERE IN THE MANSION

Sanae was faring well inside the mansion. She effortlessly took down ten fairies since she arrived in this place. To top it off, she dispatched those pixies before they even detected her. The yelps of their surprise were rewarding and the sounds of their necks snapping were satisfying! Suwako's close quarters combat training was paying off! This espionage stuff was awesome! Maybe she should change her career of being a shrine maiden to a ninja instead.

Sanae hid behind a decorative knight's armor at the sound of a voice. "Oh no! What should I do? Some of our staff are already missing!"

Sanae chanced a peek down the hall. What she saw was another one of those cute little dumb ass fairy maids. Aha! Score another fairy for my kill-streak! Eat your heart out, Modern Warfare!

"Good grief, those girls are a pest," said the fairy. She had long silver hair and carried a butcher knife. "They better be glad that Sakuya-sama is sick. If my teacher was feeling well she would of gotten rid of those girls in no time."

Eh? So Sakuya's out of the picture,thought Sanae. I've met her before. She seems really elegant and refined. Is it true that she's really as formidable as the people say she is?

"Yet... now it's up to me," the fairy exclaimed. "I will hunt down those girls and make both Sakuya-sama and Remilia-sama proud!

We'll see about that. Sanae thought sinisterly. Ooh! Here she comes!

"I wonder how Koakuma's doing right now?"

Hmm... Sanae wondered. I don't know who this Koakuma is... but she sounds pretty insignificant.

"Now's really not the time to let my mind drift," the endangered sprite said. "I got a job to do." She floated passed the knight armor ever so slowly...

Wait for it... a feral gleam was in Sanae's eyes. Wait for it...

"Oh how I wish for one of those cowardly girls to pop up out of nowhere an-"

"Now!"

"Huh!" The fairy gasped at the sound of the voice but it was to late. The interloper had already ensnared her in a brutal Sleeper's Lock. "Aiiieeee!"

"Shh! Shut up!" Sanae whispered fiercely. "Keep your little ass still!"

"Koa! Koakuma!" The now helpless sentry screamed and pressure was applied to her neck. "ACK!"

"I said shut the hell up!" Sanae growled.

"Please! Don't hurt me!" The fairy pleaded, only to receive a bonk on the head. "Ow!"

"That's better," said Sanae as the fairy hushed. "I can't help but overhear you mentioning something about a Koakuma. Tell me what you know about her."

"I'm not a snitch," the fairy remarked harshly. "You'll get nothing from me. My lips are sealed."

"Is that right?" Sanae interrogated. "At least you're tougher than all your friends that I demolished earlier."

"It was you! My friends will come for you once they regenerate!" Sanae's victim exclaimed in fury. Sanae applied even more pressure on her neck, making her face turn blue. "URGHK!"

"Very well. When you cretins come back to life, come over to the Moriya Shrine." Sanae informed. "If you think I'm pretty bad now then you're in for a real horror if you come over to my place. I am Sanae Kochiya, a mortal god! And I am quite the devil for you fairies and youkai to contend with!"

"Grr... you'll pay for this... you godling scum..."

"Sorry, I don't see any price tags. Enjoy your little vacation in hell!" Sanae declared and twisted the girl's head nearly a full circle.

SNAP!

The fairy maidservant's (temporary) lifeless body fell to the floor. Sanae grabbed the little sentry by the legs and dragged the body behind the armor. Eleven down! Who else wants some of this tactical espionage action?

"Yura!" A voice called not too far from Sanae's position. "Yura! Are you around?"

"Tch." Sanae sensed the weird vibes of the approaching girl. There was something... otherworldly about her. "What kind of aura is that? That's not a youkai aura, nor is it human or god." The Moriya miko crouched low like a jungle cat.

"Oi! Yura!" Koakuma rounded a corner. "Where are you? Say something!"

Sanae gasped at the sight of the girl. Whoa! You have to be kidding me? That girl's... a devil! A bona fide, actual living breathing creature from hell! And I thought Koakuma was just her name!

"Maybe she's in the kitchen," Koakuma intoned thoughtfully. "Since Yura is Sakuya's number one student, I wouldn't be surprised to find her there. She's probably trying to make some soup for Sakuya-san."

No wonder her presence felt so demonic. Should I attack her? Sanae frantically ruminated as Koakuma's shadow fell over her hiding spot. That means that the demon girl was just about to walk past her position. Of course I can! What's a mere devil to a mortal god? She's nothing to me! I'm going to scare the wickedness out of her!

"I wonder what's Patchouli-sama is doing right now? I hope that Alice doesn't try to make a mover on her." A cute pout appeared on the imp's face. "If that puppeteer tries to seduce Patchouli-sama, so help me S-"

"Hah!"

Koakuma was caught by surprise by the sudden ambush. A girl with green hair rammed her into the wall. "Yeow!"

"Wow! That must have really hurt!" Sanae commented as Koa slid to the floor. "Seems like your race is capable of feeling pain as well."

"What are you talking about?" Koa grunted as her back ached. "I can't believe I didn't sense you here."

"Now now... how can your lowly demonic intuition could possibly detect a mortal god such as I?" Sanae stood over the cowering imp with a sickening sweet smile on her face. "Don't feel bad, though. You're out of your league here."

"Out of my league?" Koa wondered what the crazy girl was talking about. "You're friends with Reimu and Marisa. Who are you?"

"Silence demon!" Sanae commanded and lifted Koa off the ground by the collar. "It is in your best interests not to anger me. Do that, and I will cast you back to your heinous realm." Yay! That line was awesome! I bet she's all good and scared!

Koa was forced to the wall. She was surprised to discover that this crazy child was a bit taller and bigger than she was. The green haired girl stared into Koa's eyes as she held her against the wall. This woman is crazy, Koa thought. I don't think I can take her! Patchouli-sama, I really need your help!

"Be a good little devil if you know what's best for you," Sanae threatened the imp. "You wouldn't want to end up like your friend behind me, don't you?" She indicated to the fairy's (fading) body behind the decorative armor.

Koa gasped at the translucent corpse of the fairy maidservant. "Yura!"

"Now that we got that out of the way let's get down to business." Sanae tightened her grip on her victim's collar. "You said something about heading into the kitchen just now, am I right?"

"Y-yes." Koa shakily replied. "I was on my way there."

"Good. You're going to take me there." Sanae declared. "Maybe I can procure some food while I'm there."

"I won't." Koa said out of the blue.

The Moriya miko was honestly surprised by the imp's sudden resistance. "What did you just say?"

Koa forced a brave face as sweat glistened on her forehead. "I won't allow it. I refuse to comply to your whims."

"Well that's mighty noble of you," the godling actually admired Koa's resilience. "But..."

CRICK!

"Aaiieee!" Koa felt the sudden pain on her wrist as she was snatched from the wall. Sanae secured the devil's sprung wrist behind her winged back. The mad woman took Koa's free arm and forced it above her chin in a painful lock. "Ugh!"

"You were saying?..." Sanae had the poor imp in a chicken-wing lock.

"No! I still-"

CRICK!

"Gyaaaaah!" Koa shrieked.

"You're still feeling bold, faithful minion?"

Koakuma gave in. She couldn't bear the pain on arm and wrist any longer."Okay! You win! I'll... take you to the kitchen."

"I thought so." Sanae grinned victoriously. Ha! What a pushover! Some demon this girl is!

"It's this way..." Koa reluctantly lead her captor down the hall. Didn't she even have a choice? She couldn't take the girl on in a fight, let alone a danmaku duel. Even though Koa complied to the girl's whims she couldn't help but to have a bad feeling about all this. She dreaded that the godling has something heinous for her in store once they reached the kitchen. Patchouli-sama! Please! Help me!

CRICK!

"Ugh!"

"Walk faster." Sanae demanded as her grip on Koa's sprung wrist tightened.

"Yes ma'am," the cowardly demon obeyed. After a few minutes of walking silently they finally reached the door to the kitchen. "Here we are..."

Sanae eased her hold on the little devil. "Good. You were quite obedient for a devil. Now... to make sure that you don't make a move while I'm in there..." Sanae pulled out an ofuda charm from her pocket and stamped it on Koakuma's forehead. "That should do it."

Kao gasped as she sense a surge of spiritual pain coursing through her body. "What is this?" She tried to moved but her body didn't respond to her mind at all.

"A youkai immobility charm," Sanae explained with a wink. "To be honest, I'm kinda surprised that it works on demons as well. Considering this, there's really not that much of a big difference between demons and youkai. I've learned something new today."

"Kuh! You're mean!" Koa whined with glistening eyes. "This isn't fair you big meany!"

"Screw fairness, my name is Sanae," the white-blue mikogi garbed woman remarked. "Now you stay put while I get some grub, okay?" A sudden realization struck her. "Oh, wait. You cannot move right now. Silly me."

"Tch. Curse you," Koa pouted. "You're nothing more than a thug."

"I know you are but what am I?" Sanae remarked while lolling her tongue out at the redhead. "Now to continue the mission." Sanae opened the door and entered the pitch black room. There was a girl present on the kitchen counter. She was silently munching on a piece of cheesecake but Sanae didn't seem to notice her. Suddenly, something sprung from the darkness.

DING!

"Ugh..." Sanae fell flat on her back, out cold.

"That takes care of her," Patchouli intoned flatly with a large frying pan in her hands. The stainless steel cooking utensil now had a rather large dent in it. "Good riddance." The surly witch exited the kitchen and stared at her distressed familiar. "Look what you've gotten yourself into, Koa. Who knows what that child would have done to you if I weren't around. Be thankful that I heard your yelps of pain down the hall."

Relief washed over Koakuma. "Yes Patchouli-sama! I am very grateful that you were here to save me."

Patchouli noticed the source of her familiar's distress. "Hmm. An immobility charm, eh? That's quite a nasty curse she placed on you. Hold still while I take that thing off of you."

"Okay." Koa did as she was told.

Patchy placed her hand on the charm and tried to pull it off of her familiar. However, the charm was imbued with some sort of divine power and trying to pull it off felt very akin to dealing with strong adhesive tape. What made the task even trickier was the fact that it sent shock waves through her arms in rivulets. Because of Koakuma's demonic nature, it made the charm more resistant to being removed. "Grr! Curse that woman! She's a lot smarter than I thought."

Koa felt the shock waves as well. "Hurry up! It hurts!"

"Shut up, Koa! I'm trying the best I can!" Patchy snarled through gritted teeth. She was now using both her hands in the struggle to free Koa from her imprisonment. Damn it! That godling came prepared!

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" Koakuma cried. "What have I done to deserve this?"

"Hush! I'm almost there!" Patchy exclaimed and climbed on her familiar. She had her legs wrapped around Koa's waist and if there were anyone around to see them right now that person would have swore that they were... you know, hunching. "This is it, Koa!" The witch was about to succeed in removing the charm.

"Oh yes! Yes! I can fell it!" Koa testified in bliss. Her master's body was incredibly soft and squishy. She honestly forgotten about the curse because of it. Blood trickled down the imp's nose. "Do it! Go for broke! It's all yours, Patchouli-sama!"

Patchy gave a battle cry and pulled the ofuda off of Koa. "HIYAAAAAH!" The charm erupted into smoke and Patchy fell to the floor on her butt. Not only that, the magician's pink robe was burned away due to the charm, revealing a purple-white petticoat that fit snugly on her body. "Phew. That was quite an ordeal. Remind me to study defenses against demon immobility curses."

Koa fell on to her knees, drained. The undershirt underneath her vest had tatters in it and her head wings sported bruises. Other than that, she was fine."Oh thank you, Patchouli-sama!"

Patchy stood back on her feet. Koa noted that her master had a pair of nice toned arms. The sorceress must have been working out. "Koa, help me take the girl to Remilia's quarters. She would like to have a word with her."

"Right." Koa nodded and went with Patchy into the kitchen to gather Sanae's unconscious body.

They were completely unaware of the girl sitting on the counter whom was now munching on a submarine sandwich.

TREASURY ROOM

Reimu Hakurei gazed at the old book shelves before her. In the very books of those shelves were the Scarlet Devil's monetary records (and transaction history). They were financial documents that spanned across cultures and decades. Remilia's entire pecuniary accounts were laid bare before the Hakurei fujo: savings, checking accounts, credit, debit, currency exchanges... you name it. It was all there. However, despite all of this...

Reimu didn't care.

The raven haired heroine was looking for one book in particular. A book that was actually a lever that opened a hidden passageway that led to a storage room full of money. If Reimu wasn't mistaken the book was hidden among the vampire's Russian archives. Or was it among the ones that recorded her financial years in Thailand? Or the Italian archives, maybe? She couldn't quite remember. She wished Marisa should have came along with her because the witch knew exactly where the hidden book was. This is going to take a while. Reimu thought as she fished out one of the vampire's Scottish records. "Huh. 'Rachael Elinor Jansen McDowell'. That's a nice name."

"Halt!" A voice cried out. "Stay where you are, intruder!"

Reimu sighed and swiveled on her feet. There were a group of armed fairies before her. "Look, girls... I've just took out thirty of your buddies while on my way here. I mean, what kind of difference will a small group of six would make? And really... this fairy busting business is getting boring. Could you all get lost and go bother Sanae or something?"

"We're not giving up until we get rid of you!" A sword wielding blond declared.

"As long as you are here we shall continue to pursue you!" The second fairy exclaimed, armed with knives.

"Yea! We don't die! We multiply!" A red haired version of Luna Child shrieked.

"Shit," Reimu remarked idly. "You all wanna do this the hard way."

"ATTACK!" The apparent sword wielding leader commanded. The fairies projected their blades along with colorful danmaku at their target. Reimu ducked as a battleaxe flew into the wall above her head and cartwheeled out of harm's way as danmaku showered into the shelves. "Keep the pressure on her, girls!"

Reimu used an old globe to block a trio of knives aimed at her chest. She took out a couple of darts and tossed them at her adversaries, hitting two fairies on their arms. "Argh!" The pained duo cried.

"Ten! Lili! Don't give up!" The leader screeched.

Reimu waved her gohei before her and outstretched her arms. "Spirit Sign 'Fantasy Orbs'!" A concentration of colorful spheres erupted from Reimu's soul. The orbs caused the fairies to panic as they scattered about in the large room. As they fled, the spirit orbs followed their targets. Three of the sprites were vanquished by them.

"Oh no!" The Luna lookalike called Ten cried. "We're going to need reinforcements, boss!"

"Take this!" Reimu materialized right in front of Ten and delivered a kick to the fleeing fairy. Ten was sent flying to the orb that was perusing her. The spirit orb exploded on contact, destroying Ten.

"AAARRRGH!"

"No! Ten!" Lili screamed.

Reimu appeared in front of the grieving Lili with her gohei drawn back like a golf club. "As for you, FORE!" She took a mighty swing and knocked the living daylights out of the fairy.

WHACK!

Lili flew through the air like a bullet, the orb tearing a hole in her body as she fell through it. She crashed into a wall and her body dissolved into bits of magic particles. Another fairy was rather bold. She makes her way towards Reimu as a clever diversion. Therefore if the fairy performed the tricky maneuver right, the orb should collide into Reimu. Fortunately, the shrine maiden of paradise saw this one coming. She kinda figured that one of the fairies would intend on doing this. As Little Miss Smart-Ass came near her, Reimu grabber the fairy. "Gotcha!"

"Wah! Let me go!" The fairy demanded.

"Fat chance!" Reimu turned the fairy in her grasp and faced her towards the incoming orb. The fairy's eyes were now huge white dots as waterfalls poured from them. "Nice knowing ya you little cretin!" The spirit orb homed in and hit it's mark, forcing Reimu to slide back on her feet from the impact.

"AAUUGH!"

Reimu dusted of her hands after the fairy diminished. "That takes care of her." After that, two fairies accidentally collided into one another due to their panic. The orbs hit them and they were gone. "Heh. Dumb-asses."

Then... there was one.

"Hah!" The leader used her sword to slash the orb chasing her. She looked around the room and noticed that she was now alone with the intruder. "Damn it! They're gone!"

"It's good to know that you're the smartest one among them." Reimu commented admirably. "You were the only one that came up with the idea of deflecting my homing attack. I have to give it to ya, nice work."

The last fairy growled in anger. "Curse you!"

"Yea. Yea. That's what they all say," Reimu remarked nonchalantly. "Now, since you're the smart one, are you ready to surrender? You can help me, even."

"Bitch please!" The fairy scoffed. "I will never surrender!"

"It's your call, toots."

"Shut up!" The enraged sprite cried and threw her sword at Reimu. The raven haired priestess made a horrible grimace of pain as the blade ripped clean through her. The fairy saw this and pumped her fist in triumph. "Yea! How ya like me now?"

Reimu suddenly vanished.

"What?" The fairy wondered with extreme worry in her tone. "Where did she go?"

"That was an after image." Reimu informed, forcing her opponent to turn around and face her. "Surprised to see me?"

"When and how?" The frightened leader asked the crafty girl. "I HIT you!"

"Yukari's Gap Hag Troll-jutsu," Reimu revealed. "Good for me, too bad for you." She knocked the fairy into the ground with her gohei. Once the sprite was on the ground Reimu placed a foot on her chest. "Right. Now you can help me out a bit."

The fairy struggled to remove Reimu's foot off of her but it was no use. "I surrender. I'll... do whatever you want. I will help you."

"Good." Reimu eased some weight off her victim but her foot remained. "I told you that you were smart one. Okay, let's get down to business. Do you know where I can find the switch that leads to the loli vampire's money room?"

The fairy sank in thought. "I... think so. If I'm not mistaken..." she pointed towards an old painting of the master of the manor. It was an antique portrait of Remilia Scarlet herself. In the bust rendition, Remi has a solemn expression with a light smile on her face. Her scarlet blouse was deep cute and she was not wearing her trademark mob cap. What was most striking about the artwork was the smile on her face. It was NOT the haughty, condescending and predatory smile that many in Gensokyou was accustomed to seeing on her face. The smile was warm and humble... as genuine as that of a valley girl. Whoever the artist was that witnessed that friendly face, he/she caught a very rare sight of her. "The switch is over there. On the shelf next to it."

"She's actually looks... chummy in the picture," Reimu comment as she gazed at the portrait. "I can't believe that this is Remilia, though. The Remilia in that picture is vastly different from the one we all know today. She must have been through a lot of stuff to turn out how she is now."

"I've told you what you wanted to know," the fairy huffed. "Is that all? Can you get your foot off of me now?"

"What? So you can run off and tell all your magical homegirls where I'm heading to? No way. You're coming along with me." Reimu removed her foot off the fairy and plucked her off the floor. She held on to one of her wings. "As I said, you're pretty smart. Like hell I'm just gonna go on my merry way to riches while you plot your little revenge."

"Argh! Okay! Not so rough on my wing," the fairy complained as her captor approached the bookshelf. "You have to be gentle with me."

"What's your name by the way?"

The fairy hesitated. She believed that giving a stranger or adversary her name would give them some sort of power over her. "I..."

"Well?" Reimu urged, enunciating her inquiry with a wave of her hand.

"It's Saeba," she revealed.

"Now, wasn't that so bad?" Reimu remarked sarcastically in a dumb-dumb tone of voice. "That's a rather cute name, too. Might name my kid after you."

Saeba blushed. "Tch. Whatever."

Reimu reached for a old book shrouded in dust. "Hmm. Could this be it?"

"I'm certain."

Reimu gave Saeba a flat glare. "You do it."

"What?"

"Did I s-st-stutter? You pull the switch," Reimu commanded as she gave Saeba's wing a squeeze. "Who do you think I am, Cirno?"

"Ouch! Okay, I'll do it!" Saeba whined. The empowered human released her and she fluttered towards the book in question. After giving it a good look, she tunred back to Reimu. "Yep. This is definitely it."

"Well pull the got-damn book already!"

Saeba's eyes were suddenly hidden beneath her blond bangs. "With... pleasure..."

Reimu immediately noticed the insidious tone of the fairy. "Wait! What?"

Suddenly, Saeba made a purely sadistic face that could have made Rena Ryuuga and Maria Ushiromiya blush. "SUCKER!"

A section of the floor slid from underneath Reimu's feet.

FWIP!

"SCREEEEEEW YOOOOOUUUU SAAAAEEEEBAAAA~!" Reimu screamed, glaring in murderous rage at Saeba's grinning mug as she plummets down an abysmal trap.

"Hahaha!" Saeba laughed as she pointed down the hole that led to Suwako knows where. "You were right about one thing: I am the smart one! Can't say the same for you, bitch!"

"EEEEEAAAAT AAAAAAAHHH DIIIIIIIC-"

SAKUYA'S ROOM

"Sakuya, I brought you some soup," a fairy maid announced as she entered the room. "It should help lessen the fever you have."

"Fever?" Sakuya grunted as she painfully sat up in bed. "It's chilly in here..."

"Eh? You must be feeling a little worse than before then," the fairy intoned as she placed a tray with a bowl of steaming soup on Sakuya's lap. "You should drink the broth as well. It can sooth any type of respiratory symptoms."

"Ah. Chicken noodle soup is one of my favorite. Thank you..." Sakuya gazed at the fairy in slight confusion. "...What's your name again?" There were an awfully lot of fairies given names in this episode.

"It's Mio," the blue haired pixie replied.

"Ah... right..." Sakuya intoned uncertainly. She closed her eyes and clasped her hands together. "Itadakimasu..."

Just as Sakuya was about to indulge in her therapeutic meal, there was a booming sound followed along with the entire mansion rumbling. "What in the world is that? Could it be a storm?"

Mio sighed. "No. It's cloudless tonight. Meiling-san is fighting one of the intruder at the gates as we speak."

"We have intruders! ?" Sakuya exclaimed in disbelief. "Not good! Where are my knives, clock, and uniform? I have to help the others!"

"No, Sakuya-san." Mio advised. "You're in no shape to fight right now. All you need to do is eat and rest in order to recover your health."

Sakuya saw her black pin-striped uniform folded neatly on her dresser. The urge to defend the mansion was rising. "No! I can't afford to let Remilia-sama's safety to be compromised!"

"No way! It's Remilia-sama's decree that you stay in bed!" Mio explained.

"But-"

The entire mansion rumbled again.

"Who... is that?" Sakuya wondered. The person Meiling must be fighting right now must be incredibly strong. Plus, the last time Meiling fist-fought someone that caused the premises to rumble was Yuugi, Superhuman Hijiri, and Yuuka Kazami (with the oni and youkai monk being friendly duels). "Whoever she's fighting is incredibly strong."

"Ah, that would be the spoiled girl from Bhava-agra," answered Mio.

"Tenshi? What is she doing here?"

"Who knows," Mio admitted. "But we do know that she came here along with Reimu, Marisa, and that demigod from Moriya."

The Perfect Maid looked positively shocked by the news. With all the chaos going on right now there wasn't a damn thing she can do. "N-no..." Sakuya uttered before she fainted on the bed.

Mio nodded her head in sympathy. "Poor child... This job may very well be the death of her one day."

Tenshi VS Meiling

Round II

The fight between youkai and Celestial raged on. Both of the girls were now striking one another with a new intensity. Tenshi guarded against a punch for her stomach and countered with a kick for the gate keeper's face. Hong did a cross-block before her face just as Tenshi's boot was mere inches from her nose. Tenshi was an amazing opponent! Despite her cute looks and small form, she packs a wallop! The strength of her blows can give the mighty oni a run for their money. The very ground shook as her strikes landed on the defending limbs of the gate guard. This is too cool! She's giving me a real workout!

Meiling did a swift spin on her heels and raised her left leg high in the air. She performed an ax kick with her leg and Tenshi blocked the attack just as the heel of her foot was about to crush her skull. Tenshi grabbed the guards ankle and swung her in the air before throwing her twenty feet away from her. Meiling landed on her feet like a cat and she appeared to be not at all dizzy. Shoot! This big broad is stronger than she lets on! She's even bigger than Iku and yet... she far more agile! The Chinese martial arts are awesome!

Meiling's southpaw was tightened near her waist and her right hand was before her face in a fighting stance. Both of her feet were arch apart within shoulder's length, her right foot as the fore and her left foot bearing most of her weight. Tenshi noted that some of the trickiest strikes comes from such back-stances. Her redhead opponent was a lethal combination of speed, strength, and unpredictability. She now had the feeling that the guard was just warming up. This should be interesting!

Meiling's right hand suddenly clinched into a tight fist. "You know what, I would be sleeping at the gate right now." She said out of the blue. "I guess I should thank you for this fight. I was bored, after all."

Tenshi eased her fists. "You're welcomed, I guess. But I gotta admit you're far stronger than any fighter I've trained with in heaven. Heck, you're even tougher than the elite Celestials when it comes to hand-to-hand fighting."

"Really?" Hong's eyes were wide with wonderment. "I thought that a number of warriors from there studied Chinese martial arts and philosophy."

"Mostly philosophy, actually..." Tenshi idly replied while scratching her ear. "A majority of them sought after magical knowledge and many more were influenced by the Spell Cards phenomena. I'm about the only one in all of heaven that still trains in physical combat. Nowadays, using your fists in Gensokyou is like bringing a knife to a gunfight."

Meiling wholeheartedly agreed. "Preaching the choir on that one." She was beyond capable of taking down Sakuya and even Remilia in a traditional scrap.

"Yea... sad commentary but true," Tenshi nodded. "Okay. Enough about that, we're in the middle of a fight."

"Ditto! Here I come!" Meiling exclaimed as she suddenly sprang from her stance and charged at Tenshi. When she was mere inches away from Tenshi, she jumped up in the air. Due to her wearing black pants at night it was kinda hard to see her soaring in the night air. Luckily, it was a full moon tonight...

Fortunately, Tenshi can see Meiling's soaring form thanks to the moonlight. "I see you!"

"What'cha gonna do about it?" Meiling codded as she came down with a kick which was aimed for Tenshi's head. However, she feet didn't met the Celestial's head, it met her outstretched right fist instead. "Nice counter!"

Tenshi eased her right arm a bit... with Meiling standing on her fist. The gate guard stood on her fist with a catty smile on her face! "You showoff. Real cute..." Tenshi scolded.

Meiling hopped off of the blue haired girl's fist. "You're the showoff here. You've countered my Soaring Eclipse Heel Kick."

"And you're real heavy too!" Tenshi said as she made a strike for Meiling's chest. Meiling caught the incoming fist and shifted hazardously to her left, forcing Tenshi on the ground with a take-down. Tenshi grunted as she hit the ground hard. "Guh!"

"Nah-uh! No cheap shots to the ta-ta's," Hong lectured. She followed the quip by grabbing Tenshi's left arm and fell into a painful arm-bar. "Punishment game!"

"Kyah!" Tenshi screamed as the gatekeeper stretched her arm. What made the technique worse was the fact that Meiling's feet bore down on her shoulder hard. It augments the already painful stigma in her arm. "Ugh! Damn it!"

"Give up!" Meiling commanded, tightening the muscles in her thighs to apply more pressure on Tenshi's small bicep. "If you tap out now I'll let you go!"

"Never!" Tenshi moved her head close to the guard's left foot and promptly gave it a huge bite on the ankle.

CHOMP!

If the Scarlet Devil Manor had numerous windows, many of them would crack due to it's gatekeeper high-pitched shriek of agony. "AAAAHHHH!"

Meiling swiftly disengaged herself from Tenshi's arms and rolled away. The moment Hong was back on her feet, Tenshi was already upon her. The Celestial drew her right arm back and delivered a powerful backhand that sent Meiling rolling on the ground. The gatekeeper stop rolling unceremoniously on her face. Well... that hurt. I think she's getting angry now.

"Kiyaaaahh!" Tenshi shouted as she pinned Meiling on the ground. She was mounted on the fallen gatekeeper like a saddle. "You wanna do some ground fighting? I'll show you ground fighting!" She punched Hong thrice in the face, causing the redhead to cover her head with her forearms. Noticing the gatekeeper was now defending her fair face, the Celestial threw a few punches at her ribs. One of Hong's arms went down to defend her ribs. She still held her right arm over her face. It was then that Tenshi took the opportunity to deliver a fierce blow to Hong's bountiful bosom. "Take that!"

This time, a large horde of bats scattered from the roof of the mansion due to another one of Meiling's screams. "GYAAAH!"

In a desperate move, Meiling grabbed Tenshi's collar and brought her head in to collide with Tenshi's skull. The headbutt proved very effective as Tenshi recoiled in pain. While the Celestial was stunned, Hong grabbed her by the collar again and used her right foot to throw Tenshi off of her: a traditional judo throw.

Tenshi fell onto her back, cursing in pain. She writhed on the ground as her hands went to her crotch. "Grr! AAAARGH!"

Hong shakily stood back on her feet, her arm clutching her sore bosom. There was now a pink bruise on her forehead. Tenshi's head was just that solid! "Yea... ugh... you and me both, sister! Told you not to strike my titties!"

"Hypocrite! Now that's a real cheap-shot you laid on me!" Tenshi cried, balled in fetal form with her hand soothing her nether region. "Friggin' coochie kick! If this is what getting' your cherry popped feels like then I'll pass. Ugh!"

Meiling slowly approached the agonized girl on the ground. "Are you okay? Maybe we should stop this fight while we're ahead. I mean-"

SWISH!

There was a sudden flash of red and Meiling gasped as she hopped away. After making paces away from the Celestial, she realized that her right pant leg now had a huge tear in it, leaving her shapely thigh somewhat exposed. "Yikes!"

"You'll pay..." Tenshi got back on her feet with the Sword of Hisou now in her grasp. "May you suffer in hell for that cruelty!"

"A sword! Really!" Meiling concluded that her opponent was overreacting. Hell, what the Celestial did to her bosom was an act of malevolency as well. She was in no position to cast stones. "Attacking my chest didn't exactly tickle, ya know!"

"Silence! Fight!" Tenshi exclaimed as she charge at Meiling with her sword drawn. The gatekeeper sidestepped as Tenshi took a swipe at her neck. However, Tenshi was counting on this and hit the gatekeeper square in the jaw with the hilt of her sword.

"Ghk!" Meiling stammered backwards, a fresh red bruise on her jawline. She immediately retaliated with a power right straight punch to the Celestial's face, stunning her. Unfortunately for Meiling, the blue haired girl wasn't that much fazed by the punch (as evident by her fierce scowl). Growling angrily, Tenshi returned a right punch of her own to Meiling's face.

PA-KOW!

"Iyaaah!" Meiling flew like a red-green-black bullet from the force of Tenshi's strike. She rebounded off the gate as she hit it and fell to the ground. She gathered herself on all fours, blood trickled from her lips. Shit! That felt like a full force punch from Yuugi just now! She look up to take a glance at her opponent. Tenshi was harmed but she didn't have any bruises on her. Damn. She may be small but she's frightfully strong! She's not even bleeding! Just what is she made of? Even an oni would have a bruise on it right about now.

"Get up," Tenshi commanded as she stood over her adversary. "I know that isn't all that you got. You're being thrown around by a little ol girl like me, ya know. Don't you feel a bit embarrassed?"

Meiling felt the heat emitting from Tenshi's sword. She rose her head again and gaze at the magnificent weapon. "Embarrassed? Not at all? One of my teachers was a midget tiger yao-jing from the frigid city of Harbin. He was a master of Bajiquan and Shorinji Kenpo and he always emphasized that 'looks can be deceiving'. I would be a complete utter fool if I took your size for granted."

"Smart girl. Your teacher is very wise," Tenshi commented and put her foot on Meiling's left hand.

A high-pitched yelp escaped the gatekeeper. "Eek!"

"You... have a lovely voice," Tenshi intoned sinisterly. "The way you scream and squeal... ooh! That's pure ecstasy!" She slowly grind her foot on Meiling's knuckle.

"Gah! Stop it!" Meiling yelped again.

Tenshi didn't gave a damn. She's been hanging around Yuuka a little too much lately."Umm-hmm... make me. I'm going to make you cry now. Sing for me!"

The blue haired filly was displaying one of her more brutal tendencies. Hong refused to be a victim to her sadistic abuse. With her free right hand, Meiling clenched it into a qi powered fist and swiftly delivered a punch to Tenshi's crotch.

KER-PLOK!

Tenshi's eyes widened as her pupils dilated and her lips turned into a wavy line. Both of the peaches fell off her hat and tears streamed down her face as her face glowed beet red. "Ugh... ugh... ugh..."

In the foliage in front of the mansion gates, both Nue and Daiyousei had a good idea of what was about to happen. "Ooh shit! You better cover your ears, kid!"

The great fairy nodded. "Right."

Both the undefined creature and grand pixie clamped their hands over their ears.

Smoke erupted from Tenshi's ears as the earth shook. Meiling took this opportunity to ball up and cover her ears. A moment later, Tenshi unleashed a cataclysmic, unholy scream.

"GYAAARRRRRGGGGHHAAAAAAAA-"

CHIREIDEN

"Wow, Orin," Satori commented as she sat at the dining table. "You cooked all this food? It looks delicious!"

"Awesome!" The statuesque Reiuji Utsuho giggled as she appeared at the table. "Looks at all this grub! You even made spicy boiled eggs, curry, and pork-vindaloos! Those are my favorite!"

"I'll say, this is going to be one satisfying meal," Satori praised.

"I know, right? I've made this meal with all of my heart!" Rin blushed. "My culinary talents has improved a lot!"

"Yea!" Okuu snatched the basket filled with boiled eggs. "Let's chow down!"

And just when Satori and her pets were about to say their graces...

"-AAAAAAOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEIII!-"

All three of them went under the table because of the sudden horrifying sound. "What the devil is that noise! ?" Satori wondered, hugging both Orin and Okuu with frightened eyes.

EIENTEI

Kaguya Houraisan was lying on her favorite loveseat with her regal dress bunched around her waist. Her long flawless legs were a sight to behold while she was filing her toenails. The eternal knockout was also listening to a tune on her iPod. "Baby, can you see – shootin' stars and brightest stars... shinin' on my heart – make me glittered with lights..."

In front of the lounging princess, Reisen Udonge Inaba was sitting Indian-style on the floor. The moon hare held a black device in her hands as she stared relentlessly at the sixty-inch high-definition television before her. "Okay... this is a team deathmatch, right?" She spoke into the Bluetooth device at the base of her crumpled ear. "I'll do the sniping once the game begins. I hope that this match isn't hacked. This is Modern Warfare, not hax wars. I grieved for PSN."

"Right," Reisen's virtual comrade replied. "This is going to be a tough one for me, though. This is a new map and I'm totally unfamiliar with it."

"Don't worry," Reisen reassured. "I got your back. I have actual military combat experience. We should be fine."

"Combat experience? That's awesome!" The co-op player praised. "Hmm. I bet that you're pretty hot. Mind telling me how you look?"

Reisen made a face. "Come again?"

"I mean, c'mon, OverdriveIOSYS you were even on Xbox Live earlier playing Gears of War," the online gamer continued. "Word from the grapevines says that you're very beautiful. One of friends said that you have dark long hair like a feudal princess."

Realization dawned on Reisen. "Oh! Hold your joysticks, dude! I'm not Over-"

"-IIIIIIEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!-"

"Whoa!" Reisen shrieked at the sudden sound, accidentally pulling the PlayStation®3 onto the floor. Her ears were folded flat on her head.

Kaguya, however, was oblivious to the apocalyptic scream. "Pour on me, make it shinin' tonight! The rain of stardust – The whimsical dance scattering into the night – (Wanna be startin' somethin' tonight) – spinning round and round with a joking face, if they show you their dance on the stage of the night sky~! OOOOOOOOOOOHHH~!"

Finally, the princess noticed that the game console was powered off. "Hey!"

Reisen unfurled her eyes as the scream faded. "What?"

"Gimme the controller," the Lunatic Princess reached out her hand. "I'm about to knock some heads in Tekken! I got a lot of Bob, Lars, and Steve players' asses to whoop!"

Reisen didn't bother asking the princess about the unholy noise just now. She sighed instead and gave the controller to Kaguya. "Fine. Happy spamming."

MYOUREN TEMPLE

Kyouko Kasodani was merrily sweeping the terrace of the temple entrance. She enjoyed the simple life of this place. She worked diligently on the daily chores of keeping the Myourenji clean and hospitable. Truth be told, tidying up the place when need be was rather fun. "Ah! It's another beautiful night here at the temple!"

"What?" A surly ginger haired girl said as she appeared on the patio. "You're sweeping and cleaning the yard 24/7, Kyouko. Most of the work you do around here is utterly redundant. You sure are trying hard to impress Byakuren-san."

The yamabiko's entire being became rigid. "What did you say, Orange?"

The little yao-jing rest her arms behind her head and sneered. "Tell me, are you that deeply in love with her? I know Hijiri has a smoking hot bod, but to covert to lesbianism? Pfft! I'll pass."

Kyouko dropped her broom and yelled at Orange with wide eyes. "I am not a lesbian!"

Orange poke her left pinky inside her left ear. "Suuuuuure you're aren't..."

"The pot calls the kettle black, Orange!" Kyouko accused while pointing at her nemesis. "The other day, you were admiring how big Kumoi's boobs are!"

"What?" Orange scoffed. "I can't help the fact that Kumoi's chest is sitting on swollen. Every time you see her they're all in your face. It couldn't be helped. Those are some big ass titties on Kumoi. Even Hijiri gets a case of breast envy when she sees them."

"So you admit that you were looking at her boobs?"

"Yea... So?" Orange intoned idly. "That doesn't make me a lesbian, though. Unlike you!"

"I know you are but what am I," Kyouko ranted.

"Got-damn it!" Oranged face-palmed."Don't you start saying that bullcrap again, Kyou-"

"-AAAAAAEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHH!-"

Orange wasn't even a Christian, but she did exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!"

Kyouko had plopped her head into the ground... like an ostrich. Sometimes... this tale is getting a little too loony for it's own good. "Make it stop!" Came her muffled voice.

Behind the temple, a small statue in a small patch of grass suddenly went up in a puff of smoke. After the smoke cleared, there was a bespectacled female (with a huge friggin' tail) laid out on the ground with a bad case of the swirly eyes. It seems like not ever her couldn't withstand the terrifying sound.

"Goodness gracious!" Futatsuiwa Mamizou sputtered. "All this trouble is not worth staying here sometimes! I'm seriously considering returning to Sado!"

SCARLET DEVIL MANSION

"-RRRRGGGH!" Tenshi completed her piercing scream and fell down to her knees with her hands over her crotch (again). "My coochie! Why is it always the got-damn private area!"

"HIYAAAH!" Meiling charged at the pained Celestial and delivered a qi infused uppercut to her chin.

"Aaahh!" Tenshi was sent somersaulting several yards away from the gatekeeper.

By this time, several fairies had gather around the gates of the mansion. The intense fight between youkai and Celestial has drawn a huge crowd.

REMILIA'S CHAMBER

Sanae slowly regained consciousness due to a disturbing presence. Everything about the presence she was feeling right now was just plain... wrong. The aura of malice was virtually tangible and it challenged Sanae's very divinity. For the first time in years Sanae felt true fear. Should she challenge this malevolent menace? Or should she acknowledge the fact that she may be out of her league and cower in fear? What evil is this?"

"Oh look, she's stirring awake," a mellifluous voice said.

"Ugh..." Sanae would have pressed her hand to her aching head if not for the fact that she was lying on a cool marble surface and bound in ropes. "Where... am... I?"

"Tch! Serves you right for intruding my mansion," the voice scoffed.

A cold realization hit Sanae. Her... mansion?

"The goddesses of Moriya should be ashamed of themselves for allowing their cub to run wild!" Remilia snarled with pure disdain. "You are going to be punished this night, girl!"

Sanae gathered her bearings and sat on her hindquarters. "No. You're... wrong. I didn't want to come here to your abode, Remilia-san. I was forced to come along on this raid by non other than Reimu herself."

Remilia's pupils now became slits. "Forced, you say? How foolish! Don't give me that rubbish! You were born with free will! What – Reimu tells you to jump off a cliff and you would've done it? Don't incur more of my wrath than you have already have, godling!"

"I'm sorry..." Sanae uttered, humbled by the vampire on the throne before her. The diminutive terror had every right to be angry. She knew that this was retribution – justice. The vampire had no qualms in punishing her. It was time for Sanae to be a woman and face the music. "Please forgive me. I'm truly sorry for what I've done this evening."

"Oh, you're 'sorry' all right!" Remilia exclaimed as she got off of her throne. Never has a four foot eight inches tall being has ever been so intimidating to Sanae! Sure, Remilia Scarlet was significantly larger than Suwako Moriya but she was still... well, small. And this 'small' devil was making her grovel in fear. "I am going to hurt you. A lot! Your gods will understand this rectification!"

Sanae began wrangling her hands out of the rope behind her. It was a nifty little trick that Kanako taught her. If she was able to free her hands from the ropes then she will escape her bounds. C'mon... I can do this!

"If you thought what Patchouli done to you was bad then what I'm about to do to you is far worse," Remilia declared. Sanae noticed the devil she attacked earlier was in the room. The red hair imp was watching the scene unfold with silent anticipation. Another woman was right besides the devil girl, a small but well shaped grape haired woman in a striped petticoat. She had a studious expression on her face as she stared at Sanae. She figured that Patchy was the one that knocked her out. "I can hear your heart fluttering rapidly in you chest. Are you done freeing yourself?"

Sanae gasped in shock. How did Remilia know that she was trying to break free from her bindings? "No way! How do you know?" Did Remilia pulled a Satori just now?

"Your frantic heartbeats was the telltale sign that you were up to something," Remilia revealed as she approached Sanae. "You're done now?"

Sanae managed her hands free and pulled the rope off her body. "Yes. Something inside me tells me that I should stand up against you." She rose off the floor and brandished her gohei. "Scarlet Devil, once again I apologize, but I must face you."

A fang appeared as Remilia smile maliciously. "Opting to do this the hard way, eh? Know your place, kid! It's time to discipline you!"

Looking down at the much shorter girl, Sanae found Remilia's wrath somewhat odd. "I... need an adult?"

Remilia's smile widened. "I am an adult," she proclaimed. The next thing Sanae saw was a pale blur heading towards her face.

WAP!

Sanae fell to the floor with her left cheek stinging in pain. She took her gaze off the floor and realized that the Scarlet Devil was standing over her. I – I didn't even see her hand coming! She thought frantically.

"Oh-ho!" Remi laughed as she observed Sanae's kneeling form condescendingly. "What's wrong? Moriya's precious little baby has a boo-boo?"

Sanae brought her hand to the painful hand print on her face. "Kgh! How did you moved so-"

"Silence. This is my wrath," the eldest of the mansion remarked. "And even to a lowly demigod like you my powers are vastly superior. Now... be a good girl and let this happen."

"Never!" Sanae shrieked, surprising the vampire as she blasted her with damnmaku all of a sudden. "I am a mortal god, monster! Don't take me lightly!" She got back on her feet and activated a Spell Card. "Esoterica 'Grey Thaumaturgy'!" A bright star shaped projectile emerged from the spell and Remilia's skin burned from it's shimmering flares.

"AARGH!" Remi roared in agony as was sent sailing into her throne.

"Remilia-sama!" Koa cried.

"Remi!" Patchy shouted.

The brilliant pentagram spell faded and Sanae displayed a triumphant expression. "Ha! How do you like this 'lowly demigod' now, huh?"

Remi pulled her upper body free from the throne's headboard and fell to the ground on her butt. She turned around and gave her crafty opponent a heinous glare. "Grr! You... you little bitch! How dare you! You miserable pile of-"

"Secrets?" Sanae codded with a wink. "Make no mistake... there's more of where that come from."

Remilia's trembling fist was clenched so tight that a vein bulged on the surface and her palm began bleeding. "Wretch! If that's the way you want to play it – fine!" A red mist swirled and congealed around her bloody hand. Soon enough, Spear the Gungnir materialized in her grip. "Suffer the consequences of your foolish ways! Rrraaagh!" She chucked the spear.

"Wah!" Sanae fell on her butt in sheer terror and cast another spell. "Help me, Suwako-sama!"

"Hup!" The diminutive deity suddenly manifested before her descendant and clasped her hands together. A clear bubble surrounded her distant child, protecting her. Suwako somersaulted out of harm's way as the Gungnir crashed against the shield.

Remilia noticed the little goddess. "What?"

"Thanks Suwako-sama!" Sanae praised with stars in her eyes.

"Just what have you gotten yourself into now?" Suwako demanded in a tone of disapproval with her hands on her hips. "You've summoned me at a wrong time, ya know! I was just about to eat some homemade pork vindaloo!"

Sanae lightly pounded her fist on the top of her head. "Tee-he! Sorry about that!"

"You're impossible..." sighed the superannuate child.

"Venerable Suwako..." Remilia grounded out with a tone of disfavor and... respect? "It's an honor to be in your presence but I'm afraid that you're stepping out of your bounds."

Both Koakuma and Patchouli watched the scene unveiled in interest. Was the Queen Of The Night being humble before the Highest Of The Native Gods? Maybe... maybe not, it was interesting to say the least.

"Eh? Am I, child?" Suwako wondered, causing Remilia to grimace. "Calm yourself. I am not here to fight you. Tell me what Sanae has done."

Sanae gaped in disbelief. "But – Suwako-sama!"

"Silence!"

"That wench... uh... Sanae has assailed my home this night, ancient one." Remilia explained in hopes that the smaller girl will understand the situation. "She accompanied her friends, the Hakurei girl and the Kirisame witch in order to steal and plunder from us."

"I wagered with Reimu-san and lost," Sanae fearfully explained. "That's the only reason why I'm here!"

"Therefore, you are in the wrong!" Remilia accused before returning her sights on Suwako. "I am telling the truth! Your miko needs to be disciplined!"

Suwako rubbed her chin in thought, being the judge and jury of this scenario. "Is that a fact?" She intoned with a mischievous smirk forming on her lips.

"Yes!" Remilia hollered. "Now take her with you before I do her harm!"

"Nah-uh!" Sanae lolled out her tongue. "She's here to help me whoop your keister!"

Suwako simply said, "No I'm not."

Remilia's eyes went wide. "Huh?"

"WHAAAAT!" Sanae sang in disbelief.

Suwako wheeled on Sanae. "Ah... my precious pompous foolish little girl, you've brought this on yourself. Therefore, you are in big trouble, little missy! That child has every right to beat you to a pulp this evening. And so I will leave you here to deal with her."

Sanae clasped her hands and fell to her knees before Suwako. "No! Grandmother, please! Don't let me contend with her by my lonesome! I'm scared! I don't think I can beat her!"

The vile smile returned on Remi's face. I like where this is going!

"No. Let this be a lesson to you. A part of your training, even," Suwako lectured, waving her index finger in her descendant's face. "This is divine retribution, my child. You're just gonna have to wing it. Serves you right for having Reimu persuade you to go on a crash-dummy mission."

"Please! Don't leave me!" Sanae gripped her hands on Kero-chan's shoulders. "I beg of you!"

"Sorry. You're gonna have to finish what you've started. It's fate." Suwako told her child with a troll face. "Oh! Would you look at the time? The summon spell is about to phase out. Now I can get back to my Indian dinner." Her body soon became transparent as she began vanishing. "Happy dueling!"

"Suwako-samaaaaaaaaaaa~!" Sanae cried.

"Well well well..." Remilia intoned menacingly. "Looks like it's time to resume our little scuffle, wouldn't you say? What a wise little hag. She surely knows what is best for you."

"Shut your accursed trap..." Sanae grounded out darkly, gathering courage.

"Oh? Juvenile indignation, much?" Remi taunted. "My ancestor was a bitch too but you don't see me crying. Now... back on your feet, brat. Let's finish what you've started."

"Very well..." Sanae stood up again with her gohei at the ready. "I will be the victor of this fight! By the power of Kanako Yasaka, I will punish you! Do your worst, monster!"

At a safe distance, Koa giggled and Patchy bopped her on the head with a book. "Oww! What was that for?"

The One-Week Librarian brought her index finger to her lips. "Shh!"

"I'm in such a good mood tonight! I have a little present for you!" Remilia proclaimed and outstretched her arms dramatically. Her wings looked... noticeably large than before. "Shall I give you despair?"

Sanae's expression was stone-cold serious. "My power of miracles will triumph over despair."

"Ha! Such bravado you have there! How admirable!" Remi giggled. "Let's get down to business. You notice this grand curtain behind me?"

Sanae gazed at the huge scarlet drapery that shrouds the balcony behind the vampire. What the hell was she getting at? "Yeah... so?"

"Fufufufu... it's bad enough that you're facing me on my home turf, kid. However, that's just the beginning of your problem." Remi eyes suddenly glowed brightly and the curtains slowly parted. After what seemed like a small eternity Sanae can see the smooth balcony stern and the cloudless night sky. Then a realization of pure horror hit her... as evidenced by a red glow...

Tonight is the night of a full moon.

"Holy Yasaka!" Sanae gasped.

"Hahahaha!" Remi laughed in demonic glee while relishing the girl's look of terror. "Yes, my foolish adversary. Now you're aware that you are in deep shit now! The Scarlet Devil haunts tonight!"

"Kh! Prayer 'Charm Of Good Commerce'!" The Moriya fujo took to the sky and rained down a barrage of brightly colored charms on the vampire.

Remilia didn't move. She only stood in place with a demented look in her eyes. The empowered charms of her holy adversary littered her entire body, leaving various cuts and bruises on her body. She licked the blood of a fresh wound on her jaw. "Fufufu... is that all you got? Very well. I'm up for some fun tonight and I'm about to do something that I haven't done in decades!"

Remilia's proposal unnerved Sanae. "What do you mean?"

"I'm about to assume my true form!" Remilia announced. "You should be honored, kid! Not many victims of mine get to witness this!" A swarm of bats suddenly appeared and blanketed the vampire's form as they swarmed around her. A pillar of scarlet light emitted from her body and reached through the roof, possibly reaching the stratosphere. "Ooh yes!"

"Damn! Suwako-sawa chose a very wrong time to be a prick to me," cursed Sanae.

"Hehehe!" Remi cackled wickedly among the swarm of vampire bats enshrouding her. "How exquisite! It's been so long since I've done this! Ah ha ha ha!" The bat horde merged into her body and now stood a statuesque lilac haired woman in a pink dress and huge wings. The ultimate Remilia flexed her regal gauntlet covered arms and flapped her wings, causing a gust to rush in the quarters. And the bad news for Sanae were the fact that the vampire's wounds were gone.

Both Koa and Patchy were holding onto their slips in order to prevent cheap pantyshots. "Ahhn!" Koakuma cooed.

"Showoff..." the grape haired librarian muttered.

"Well..." Remi said with her (slightly) deeper voice. She appreciated the sight of her lithe adult body. Nice arms, longs legs, nice bosom – you name it! Remi was the total package! "The dress is feeling a bit snug, but, whatever! Every cell in my body is burning with power! Glorious rage is coursing throughout my being!"

"Despite your power, Scarlet Devil..." Sanae pointed her gohei at the apex vampire dramatically. "You will fail! I am Sanae Kochiya! A mortal-"

The Scarlet Devil suddenly vanished and reappeared right in front of Sanae. "Oh, spare me!" With a mighty bitch-slap, Sanae was sent spiraling back to the floor.

THUD!

"Ow ow ow..." Sanae whimpered as she regained her bearings. "I didn't even-"

Remilia appeared before her again with her arms crossed. "See me? Of course you didn't, love! You're utterly outclassed here! Not that you had a chance to begin with, by the way. I could have easily dispatched you with my ordinary form."

Sanae swiftly rolled on her side and fired a stream of danmaku into Remi's face. "DORYAAAA!"

The Scarlet Devil was totally unfazed. "Now that was not nice! Although, it did tickled a bit."

"YAAAH!" Sanae tossed a bomb at the Scarlet Devil and it detonated the moment it hit her face. "How do you like that?"

The smoke cleared. And to Sanae's shock, Remilia was still standing. "Okay, now you're truly pissing me off!" Remilia snarled. "Just what in the hell are you doing carrying bombs in the first place? Kids today!"

Sanae was on her feet again. She raised her gohei above her head as she concentrated. "Miracle 'Night Of The Super-'"

WAP!

Sanae was on the floor once again. "You hax!"

"Nah ah ah!" Remi teased as she waved her finger. "This is our fight, remember? I just can't standby idly as you cough up your most powerful spells now, can I?"

"What about me allowing you to transform a few minutes ago?"

Remilia's grin dropped completely. "Cheeky bitch, c'mere!"

Sanae was yanked off the floor by her collar. "Ahh!"

Remilia held the now smaller woman before her with a single hand. Sanae used her dangling feet to kick Remi in the stomach but the vampire didn't felt it. "Now now... you shouldn't be angry at me. You should be angry at yourself. You bore all this trouble on yourself."

"Reimu and the others will come for me," Sanae spat.

"Oh, I know they will! I'm certain!" Remilia laughed. "Now... what should I do with you? I would kill you and summon a hell-spawn demon to teabag your corpse but that would be outright wrong. That little hag of yours will come over here and kill me in my own house the moment she finds out about your murder. Instead, I have something more sinister in store for you. This will hurt a bit."

"Huh?"

Remilia's fangs sank into her right shoulder. "Nom!"

A piercing scream escaped poor Sanae. "KYAAAAAAH!"

"Yummy!" Remi remarked with her face covered in her victim's blood. "Demigod's blood is the shit! This is delicious! Oh ho ho!" She yanked Sanae closer to her again and resumed her blood-lust. "Yomp!"

"AAAARRGH!"

Suddenly, Remi tossed the screaming girl on the floor like a ragdoll. "Mmm... that's enough. My hunger is slaked but that's not all. This is when the fun really begins! Check it!" Remilia created a small magic circle with her hands and a fiery red bad emerged from it. "Now would you look at this? Say hello to my little friend, a bat from the deepest parts of hell!"

"Khhhrrrrgh..." Sanae grunted, holding the wound on her shoulder. Her heart was beating so frantically that she can hardly hear Remi speaking to her.

"Don't worry. Mama Remi has a medicine that will make the pain go away." Remilia blew a kiss and the demon bat screeched violently as it made it's way towards Sanae.

Sanae stared at this unholy creature with a mixture of fear and curiosity. What is that thing? I have a bad feeling about this!

The bat suddenly made a ear-slitting screech that shook the room and flew straight into Sanae's open wound. "Sanae Kochiya..." Remilia began. "I've taken you. Mind... body... and soul... it all belongs to me, Remilia Scarlet, the Scarlet Devil."

A excruciating pain like never before coursed through Sanae's being. And the world suddenly faded to nothingness.

VOILE

" Damn it all! All this trouble for just one doll!" Marisa shouted, blasting a stream of star-shape danmaku at Alice. The dazzling barrage of danmaku hit the various arrows that where shot from a group of archer dolls. "We've been going at it for minutes, Alice! Don't you think it's about time to let bygones be bygones?"

The Seven-Colored Puppeteer's reply was an angry sneer. "No way! What you've done is unforgivable, Marisa Kirisame!"

"It was just one doll, Alice!" Marisa rebutted as she ducked a thrown blade in the nick of time. "C'mon! It looks no different from all the other dolls you've created! Can't you, like, make another one?"

"Doll Ambush!" Alice declared as a set of dolls darted towards her neighbor with their blades drawn. Marisa took cover behind a bookshelf.

THUNK! THUNK! THUNK! THUNK!

"Shit!" Marisa hissed, taking in the sight of the sharp blades that were embedded through the furniture. "That was a close one!"

"Hah!" Alice tossed a doll near Marisa and it detonated, causing the witch to yelp in fright and jump out of harm's way. She ungracefully fell on her stomach due to the explosion and chanced a glance at the spot she was at a moment ago. To her horror, all that remained of the shelf were burned paper and splinters.

"What the heck, Alice! And here you are going ballistic about me chomping on one doll!" Marisa exclaimed with a shaky finger. "You're using your little girls like bombs!"

"A dignified sacrifice, mind you," Alice remarked cruelly. "Still... that does not give you the right to consume one of them."

"So that's how it is, huh?" Marisa took out her miniature furnace. "You're just plain aching for a fight now, Alice. I'm afraid that I'm gonna have to put you down now, ze!"

Alice narrowed her eyes. "Try me."

"You asked for it!" Marisa grinned and held out her trusty weapon. A thin green beam shot forth from the hakkero.

"Shanghai..." Alice uttered and the said doll hovered before her with a large shield. The beam was successfully deflected. "Nice try. You have to do better than that though."

Marisa powered up her hakkero in record time and grinned at the puppeteer. "Master Spark!"

"Tch!" Alice flew out of harm's way. The witch's signature beam of power made a huge hole in the wall behind Alice (Patchy's going to be pissed). "I knew that you would go for that! Honestly, you're way too-"

"Yee-haw!" Marisa was charging full speed towards Alice on her broom.

"Kyah!" Alice gasped as Marisa collided into her. The witch was still going full speed and Alice was going along for a ride. "Ugh! MA-RI-SAAAAA!"

"Hey-hey! Watch it with those nails of yours, da ze!" Marisa exclaimed as Alice tried to claw her eyes out. "Stop! Quit playin', Alice!"

"Shut up! I can't stand you!" Alice rebutted and began punching the witch in the face.

PAP! PAP! PAP!

"Ow! Ow! Ow! You're hurting me Alice!" Marisa whined, still flying hazardously around the great library with Alice in tow.

"That's the point!" Alice punched the witch again.

"Gah!" Marisa nearly fell off her broom. She was holding onto her broom tight but it was becoming increasingly hard for her to do so because of Alice. The youkai puppeteer was trying to knock her out. "Alice, if you don't stop hitting me, I'm gonna lose control of my broom! We could get seriously hurt!"

"Namely you!"

"Oh shit!" Marisa realized a particularly huge bookshelf she was about to crash into. She immediately used the 'brakes' of her broom in order to prevent an accident. Unfortunately, slowing her broom to a halt right now was like trying to stop a train from moving a quarter of a mile while braking. It was very difficult. Marisa dispensed a lot of her magic to control her broom. The risky tactic worked but it had a price.

"WHOA!" Alice flew off the broom. She was on a collision course to the gigantic bookshelf.

"Ah – Alice!"

CRASH!

Alice bounced off the shelf and fell on the floor in a heap (along with books falling on top of her).

"Alice!" Marisa cried as she dismounted her broom. She dug through the great pile of books until the puppeteer's face was visible. "Alice! Wake up, girl! Please tell me that you're okay!"

"Damn..." Alice grunted in pain as her eyes slowly opened. "I lost... didn't I?"

"Don't try to talk, Alice!" Marisa cradled her neighbor's upper body in her arms. "You're hurt."

"Please... Guk!" Alice gasped in pain. "I am... a youkai. This... is... nothing... to... ugh... me..."

Shanghai and Hourai hovered over Marisa's shoulders with worry on their faces. "You coulda fooled me," Marisa said. "I believe that a half ton of books just rained down on you."

"Shut up... Marisa..." Alice grounded out in annoyance. "I'll... sleep it off..." And with that, Alice slipped into unconsciousness – a sleeping beauty in the mean ole witch's arms.

"Meh," Marisa shrugged as she lightly laid Alice's head down on a stack of paperbacks. "I guess she's gonna be okay, girls. Now to get what I came here for."

SECRET ROOM

"Oowf!" Reimu grunted as her face harshly met dirty linoleum. She was going to kill that damn fairy once she lay eyes on her again! What Reimu has in mind for her, Saeba's gonna wish she can't regenerate after she's done with her. Reimu didn't appreciate barreling down a long tunnel that led to who knows where. She gathered off the ground while dusting filth off her robes. After making sure that none of her bones were broken, Reimu took in her surroundings. "Now, where am I? I hope that I'm not in Flan's room."

The Hakurei maiden was in a dank, moldy chamber. Two streams of water were flowing on both sides of the surface she was standing on. One of the streams were clear and the other... was the exact opposite. Reimu nearly retched her lunch once she realized what the 'dirty' water contained. "Ew! I'm in the mansion's aqueducts! I have to find a way out of here."

A foot-sized sewer rat sudden skittered from a broken pipe behind Reimu. Once she laid eyes on what it was, a high pitched scream escaped her. "Aiiiieeee! A rat! Gross!"

The large rodent stared at Reimu in curiosity. The girl's scream didn't unnerved it in the least bit.

"It's just sitting there and staring at me!" Reimu subconsciously hiked her skirt up to her thighs in fright. "Get lost! Get lost! Get lost!"

The rat remained unmoved. It was now nibbling on a piece of sewage.

"Ahh! I gotta find a way out of here!" Reimu exclaimed with chattering teeth. She whipped her head frantically in all directions, looking for a way out of this place. Her face brightened when she spotted an old door near a staircase. "There!" She immediately took flight over the clear stream and landed before the door. She entered the door and slammed it, pressing her back onto it with an immense sigh of relief. "Phew! I wonder where I'm at now?"

She soon noticed that she was in a narrow corridor with dim torches adorning the walls. Interesting enough, there were a few shelves aligning the right walls. All of them stored old newspapers and archives. "That's odd. If I'm not mistaken... I get the feeling that this was a print office once."

As Reimu slowly traversed down the hall, the sounds of a musical instrument reached her ears. Whoever the musician was... the music (s)he was playing was quite jazzy and melancholy. Reimu thought that it was a lovely tune but she wondered why would anyone play any sort of music in such a dreary place. "Could it be one of the Prismriver Sisters?" Reimu asked herself as she noticed a glow ahead of her path. "No, it can't be. They only perform in trio. They're aren't inclined to individual performances."

As Reimu went closer to the ghastly glow, she realized that it was coming from two beings. One of them was the apparition of a man dressed in a black pin-striped suit with a rather stylish fedora on his head. He was playing a violin. The other apparition was a dog, a Doberman to be precise. The man stopped his music for a moment in order to regard Reimu.

"Good day, stranger," he greeted and Reimu was surprised to find out that he was rather handsome. "It's been a long time since a mortal last roamed these halls." His pet Doberman seemed to smile as he sat on his hind legs, wagging his tail.

"Who... are you?" Reimu wondered, trying to suppress a blush. Apparently the man died young. He couldn't have been much older than Reimu.

The ghost musician made a face of consternation. "I... can't remember. It's been ages since I last heard my name. I guess. All I know that I'm to remain here in this very hallway for eternity..."

The dog whimpered. He was sharing the same fate.

Reimu wanted to grieve for the lost souls. "That's terrible. What... happened to... you?"

"Oh. You're wondering about the circumstances of my death, huh?" The musician said with a perfect set of pearly whites. "To be honest... I... don't really know that either. The only clues I know of are three women: two of them are rather small in frame and... the third woman is big... and intimidating."

Reimu knew two of the women the ghost was referring to. Komachi and Shikieiki... she pondered. But what about the third woman?

"It's no big of deal, really," the phantasmal musician said, snapping Reimu out of her thoughts. "Anyway, what brings you here? I haven't laid eyes on a living human in probably decades. And I must saw that you're exceptionally beautiful."

Reimu glowed bright red as she giggled like a schoolgirl. Her heart became skittish and her arms went behind her back in a cute gesture. "D'aaaaw... I bet you say that to all the living girls."

"I speak the truth, fair one," he grinned. "The only beings I see around here are rats, spiders, and fairies. I know it may have been years since I last laid eyes on a woman but somehow I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that you're one the loveliest girls around."

Reimu cooed. It was starting to drizzle down south. "You know, I wish I could have met you while you were alive. I have a feeling that we would of gotten along just peachy."

"Yea. Oh well. Maybe in another lifetime..."

"Yea..." Reimu suddenly found her feet very interesting. "Maybe..." Looks like I going to have a word with the Yama. Maybe she can pulls some strings in order to get this guy reincarnated... with his good looks intact. Heh-hee! Both Marisa and Sanae would be so envious of me!

"Silly me," the ghost suddenly laughed. "Listen to me... another lifetime. I may have been a comedian during my life."

"Yea..." Reimu swooned. "Ha ha funny."

"Anyway, now that my sap story's out of the way," the ghost's smile suddenly disappeared, replaced by grim seriousness. "I would like to ask of you a favor."

Reimu noticed the change of air about the musician along with his dog. "What is it?"

"Do you have any money to spare?" He requested as he held out his hand. "I need a donation. The huge woman once told me that I can reach Nirvana once I bring her some money."

Reimu winced. Hard times are everywhere - even among the dead. "I'm sorry. I'm afraid... I don't have any money. You see, I'm just a broke shrine maiden."

The ghost's expression was now dark. "That's... too bad..."

The Doberman started growling menacingly.

Reimu was now on guard. Something's not right!

"Fufufu... no money, huh?" The ghost chuckled. "That's alright. I rather prefer you, though." His eyes suddenly glowed an ominous shade of red. "How about joining me in purgatory? Therefore, our gloomy love will be everlasting in this wretched place!"

Reimu gasped as both of the phantoms glared at her menacingly. "Ah! No thanks! Listen, you're cute and all, but you're nothing special!" (A/N: Any of you male readers out there ever heard this from a girl before?)

The spectral dog suddenly barked and attacked Reimu. The beast pounced the shrine maiden and pinned her to the ground, snarling viciously. "Nice work there, Despair. Now finish her off and make her mine!"

"Not a chance!" Reimu roared and kicked the dog off of her. The dog yelped as it flew to the nearby wall. Reimu rushed upon it and gave it a swift strike on the head with her gohei. "That's for trying to rip out my throat out, you mutt!"

"No!" The ghost cried as he rushed over to his fallen pet, nearly bowling over Reimu on the way. He crouched down and cradled the beast, which was now burning in blue flames. "No! Despair!" He cried and turned his tear filled glare at Reimu. "Why! He didn't deserve this! With him gone I'll be alone forever!"

"He attacked me!" Reimu defended. "All thanks to you! So you cannot blame me!"

"But, I'm all alone here!" He cried, trembling. "He was the only friend I had in this lonely existence! Please, shrine maiden! Heal him!"

Reimu's eyes were hidden beneath her bangs. "I can't do that. He's already dead to begin with. I've only exorcised him."

The ghost noticed a certain word. "You... exorcised him?"

Reimu's face was expressionless. "Yes."

"Can you... do the same for me?"

"Yes," Reimu echoed. "However... you may have been sentenced here for a reason. If I were to purge you from this realm who knows where you may end up at. Reincarnation, Hell... or, in the worst case scenario, Oblivion. And Nirvana is way out of the question by this point."

"Is that right?" He considered, closing his eyes. "I now risk eternal damnation or complete nothingness with no chance of being reborn?"

Reimu's expression faltered. "I'm... sorry. I sense great wickedness from you."

"If I can be reunited with Despair then so be it," the ghost finally decided and faced Reimu. "Do it. I'm sure whatever waiting for me beyond this realm is much better than being mere vibes in this hall. Exorcise me. Send me to my ultimate doom, shrine maiden. At least... I'll be with my best friend."

"Right..." Reimu uttered with a solemn look about her. She gathered energy into her gohei and tapped the ghost on the forehead with it. The ghost vanished in a burst of blue flames, never to be seen again. "And may the gods and the Yama have mercy on your soul." After completing the ritual, Reimu headed towards the door on the end of the hallway. She entered the door and the next thing she saw lifted her spirits immensely.

She has found Remilia's treasure trove at last. Reimu Hakurei has hit the mother load!

And that's not all. Her pixie nemesis was wandering around the room, oblivious to Reimu's presence. It was time for her to extract sweet revenge!

"Double jackpot," Reimu grinned as she coolly made her way towards the hoarded wealth within the room with pure determination.

Tenshi VS Meiling

Final Round

"Raaaargh!" Tenshi swung the Sword of Hisou at Meiling several times. The gatekeeper has successfully avoided every swing and Tenshi was getting tired. "Hold still, you!" She yelled, attempting a stab for the gatekeeper's face.

Meiling crouched low and delivered a backwards sweep-kick to her opponent's ankles, tripping her. The Celestial fell on her back and rolled away to safety as Meiling attempted a stomp. Hong lunged at the girl with her right arm forward and spotted her right on the lips with her fist. Miraculously, the Celestial wasn't bleeding. "You're really something, ya know that? You're taking a beating but you haven't even begun to bruise yet. And here I am with a lot of bruises and a busted lip."

"Shut up! Shaaa!" Tenshi raged and charged again with her sword. The gatekeeper dodged again and countered with an elbow strike to the ribs. "Grrraaaah! Damn you!"

"Don't worry, you're not doing so bad," Meiling commented after a couple of spacing back-flips. "You're doing better than you think. I'm the one who's bleeding here. It looks like I the one who's loosing this fight."

"Stop mocking me!" Tenshi went on the offensive with her blade again.

Meiling fell back on her right hand and lift her right leg up into Tenshi's chin with a leap. "WAA-CHAAA!"

Tenshi was now flying high in the air.

Not far away from them, both Dai and Nue were still spectating the fight. The big fairy was watching the scene unfold with bated breath and Nue was looking for revenge on an opportunity. Dai took a moment to gaze at the undefined girl once again and noticed the angry look on her face. Nue's lips were set in a grimace and both of her fist were tightly clenched with anger veins on them. The nue assumed something was not right about the fight. "Hey, are you alright?" Dai wondered. "It looks like something's bothering you."

"You're damn right something's bothering me," Nue retorted with a snarl. "Right now that gatekeeper is beating the living shit out of that peach hat wearing idiot! Yet, the bitch doesn't look in the least bit injured. Sure, she's being worn out but look at the gatekeeper. She got marks for every hit she received."

Dai was a little confused. "What does that mean?"

"Argh! I means that the gate guard may lose this fight!" Nue angrily explained. "I fought that girl myself. I hit her with nearly everything I got and she took it and smile! She's made out of something incredible! She can take hits like a fucking god!"

Dai somewhat understood what Nue meant. "Oh."

"That kid is a real glutton for punishment. I tell ya that much," Nue growled. "I don't think even Sperhuman Hijiri has half as much endurance as she does. This is so frustrating!"

"Nue... chan..." Daiyousei uttered in worry.

"I got it!" Nue suddenly exclaimed at a bright idea. "Once that gatekeeper get that girl all good and tired I'll step in a give the final blow. I'm gonna put that brat to sleep!"

"Ah! She's back on the ground!" Dai exclaimed as she pointed at Tenshi's prone form on the ground.

"And she still wants more," Nue cursed as Tenshi got back on her feet.

"Guh... you think a attack of that caliber will do me in?" Tenshi taunted as she slowly walked towards Meiling. "Wrong! You can't beat me, gatekeeper. A little sisters hits harder than you!"

"Incredible..." Hong uttered as the Celestial stood right before her with a grim smile. There was a considerable height difference between them as the Celestial only reached her abdomen in height. "Your endurance is remarkable."

"Duh! Indestructible," Tenshi scoffed. "What cha gonna do about it, big bad?"

"This, of course! Hiyah!" Hong threw at punch at Tenshi's face at the exact same time as Tenshi threw one at her's. Both of them were caught in a brutal cross-counter blow, with Tenshi being slightly stunned and Meiling falling on her ass. Her beret fell off her head. "Ouch!" Hong cried as she rubbed her aching jaw. "You gotta lot of power behind your fists."

Tenshi stood over Meiling with a triumphant smirk on her lips. "Oh, I'll show you striking power. Soon you're going to regret facing me."

"You hit harder than me, I'll admit that," Meiling complimented. "But... you're not something that I can't handle."

Tenshi's eyebrows became check-marks. "What was that?"

"It means that you haven't beaten me yet," Meiling declared as she got off the ground. "As a matter of fact, I will win this fight. Let's see how your incredible strength match up to my speed and finesse."

"Whatever you say. Here I come!" Tenshi charged and threw a hook punch at her head. Unfortunately, she missed, with a pain on her stomach being testament to the failed attack. "Oof!"

"See what I mean?" Meiling giggled with Tenshi hanging on her fist. "I got you."

"That makes for both of us!" Tenshi cried and drove her sword into Meiling's back. It made a sickening sound as it burned through the gatekeeper's torso. The end of the blade was jutting out from the cleft of the gatekeeper's breasts.

"EEEEIIIIIAAAAHH!" Meiling screamed as excruciating agony tore through her chest.

"You're singing again," Tenshi laughed. "Crying like a baby!"

"Guhk! You..." Meiling grounded dangerously and brought her knuckles close to Tenshi's abdomen. She focused a lot of qi into her fist and released it with very minimal budging. "Scarlet Inch Crush!"

"GWOOA!" Tenshi was sent flying by the might of the 'tiny' punch with the wind knocked out of her.

Meiling took the opportunity to pull the Sword of Hisou out of her body. "Grr! Ah! Aarrrrgh!" The burning sensation of the Hisou scalded her hands as she pulled it out. She dropped it near her feet and the offending weapon was now a mere hilt. "Ooh, that smarts!" She worked her gazed over to the Celestial that was hunkered on the ground a few yards in front of her. "This is getting ugly. We have to put an end to this fight somehow."

Tenshi recollected herself with a gasp. The redhead's last attack really done a number on her! "Argh..."

"Well..." Hong beckoned. "Do you agree with me?"

Tenshi's pride was now on the line. Her respiratory system was struggling to cope with the pain of the recent attack. "It's... not... over... yet," she swore with haggard breathing. "I'm... still standing."

Nue noticed the Celestial's sluggish movements. "Aha! This is it!" She gasped.

"What is?" Dai wondered.

"That brat seen better days," Nue remarked studiously. "Look. She's on her last leg. She can't take much more."

"Well, at least she did put up a good fight with the guard," Dai stated. "I've never saw her get thrown around like that before."

"That may be true..." Nue said deviously while cracking her knuckles. "But her goose is cooked. It's about time I come in and finish her off." A devilish cackle escaped her, scaring the poor fairy a little.

Nue-chan... you sound so evil, Dai mentally noted.

Tenshi's lungs ached from the labored breathing. The gatekeeper was proving to be her single greatest opponent yet. She was having a lot more trouble contending with the red haired yao-jing than she imagined. The Celestial was aching all over but her pride was on the line! She is the Eldest Daughter of the Hinanawi Clan! She is one of the mightiest warriors of Bhava-agra! This common yao-jing should be humbled before her might! "Huff... huff... Is that all you got?"

Meiling eased from her stance, concerned for her now weakened opponent. "I wouldn't talk like that if I were you. Take a look at yourself. You're winded."

"Don't take me lightly!" Tenshi retorted in frustration. "I don't need your pity! I will best you!"

Meiling nodded her head in admiration. Tenshi was a fighter- a rather strong one at that. Yet... her pride was going to get her killed one day if she keeps this up. Maybe if the Celestial took a foot in the right direction she would be a truly formidable warrior. After all, Hong noted, she probably has enough strength to beat Remelia in a fist fight. However, that was unlikely. It seemed the girl only honored power above anything else in a fight. If Meiling was a cold-blooded killer, Tenshi would be already dead.

Meiling picked her opponent's sword off the ground and tossed it to her. Tenshi caught her beloved weapon without laying her eyes off of Meiling. "This fight is over." Meiling said. "Take your weapon and leave the premises."

Tenshi uttered, "No."

Meiling gasped in disbelief. Despite the beating her opponent took... she wanted more. "What did you just say?"

Tenshi drew her blade and took a stance once more. The Hisou Blade glowing with an intense vigor. "I'm not going anywhere until I defeat you. Show some respect! I'm not some common weakling! I am a Celestial!"

"I'm not taking you for granted. Trust me," Meiling remarked as she resumed her stance. This time she didn't balled her hands into fists. They were spearhands instead. "You are very strong. I'm actually impressed that you've lasted thing long against me. Even Sakuya would have given up by now."

Tenshi smirked. "I'm not this Sakuya you speak of."

"Point. While you are physically stronger than my friend, I wish you would stop while you're ahead." Hong shifted her stance, sizing up the blue haired intruder. "You should choose your fights more wisely."

"Shut up!" Tenshi snapped. "Let's get back to it!"

A black blur suddenly appeared on a warpath towards Tenshi. "YOUR ASS IS MINE!" A boyish voice suddenly raged behind the Celestial.

Before Tenshi could react, Meiling was already springing to action. The Celestial almost didn't see her coming! She ducked in fear of the yao-jing's spinning kick at the very last second. Fortunately for Tenshi, she avoided the brutal attack. Unfortunately for the girl with the boyish voice, Meiling's foot collided with her left shoulder as she tried to attack Tenshi. Everything seemed to go in slow motion for a moment and there was a sickening sound of bones shattering inside the assailant.

"Guhk!" Nue grunted as a tear escaped her eye. The next thing she knew, she was flying like a bullet. She soared into the brick wall of the gates so fast it exploded upon impact.

Tenshi reluctantly stared at the shattered wall the 'cockroach' youkai just crashed into. The fear in her heart resurfaced, only this time it was more intense than before. "Sufferin' Shanghai!"

Meiling was now standing on one leg, her face expressionless. "You're ready to end this?"

The Celestial was sure that Meiling wasn't that brutal earlier during their battle. Could it be that her struggle with the yao-jing was merely a warm-up? "You were prolonging this fight on purpose?"

Hong cranked her neck and popped her knuckles. "Not really. You're pretty good. It's just that you underestimated me."

"You... you make me sick," Tenshi cursed. "You lead me to believe that I was beating you and now you're belittling me! I'll make you regret mocking me!"

"Do your worst," Hong challenged. She sensed something happening to Tenshi.

"Oh-ho! You better believe I will!" Tenshi retorted. Temperament 'State of Enlightenment'! After mentally declaring the disposition, she gave the gatekeeper a piercing stare.

Hong noticed the change in Tenshi, noticeably her stare. "What is she up to now?"

Tenshi darted towards her while trying to attack with her forearm. Hong sidestepped and delivered a swift blow to her face and her suspicions were realized. The Celestial didn't even register her attack. She wasn't even stunned in the slightest. Tenshi hit the gatekeeper with a backhand, knocking her on the ground again. "This is what you wanted, right?"

Hong replied by springing off the ground and striking both of her feet to Tenshi's face. The impact of the spring kick hurt Hong though as she sprang her ankle and fell back on the ground. "Ahh! Something's weird going on here!"

"I am indestructible," Tenshi murmured, apparently in a state of her personal Zen.

"Shaa!" Hong struck the Celestial on the leg and bruised her fist. "Oww!" She cried, blowing on her sore knuckles. She's harder than stone! She's using her qi to reinforce her body like armor! That's gotta be it!

"Hurts, doesn't it?" Tenshi taunted and lifted Meiling off the ground by the tresses of her hair. She was kicked in the face while the gatekeeper struggled to get free. "Not so fun now, is it?"

Meiling struck the Celestial's chin with her knee. Tenshi didn't felt that either!

"How annoying! I'm totally impervious to your attacks and yet you still try your hardest to harm me. This is hilarious!" Tenshi laughed and knocked the gatekeeper away with a forearm strike.

Meiling ate dirt when she landed on the ground. She was growing frustrated. How can she harm someone who doesn't feel pain nor respond to harmful stimuli? An inkling of an idea occurred to her. Okay... I have no choice but to rely on this, she thought as she gathered a considerable amount of qi into her right hand. It's a gamble but right now I don't have much of a choice! I can't afford defeat at my own game! My job as gatekeeper of the Scarlet Devil Mansion is on the line!

"Hello," came Tenshi's taunting voice. "Anybody home?"

"You betcha," Meiling responded as she spit grass from her mouth. "And you probably won't like what you find." Fierce Tiger's Inner Strength!

"Say what?"

Meiling was back on her feet and charging like a raging beast! "RRRRAAAAAGH!"

"Whatever! It won't wor-" Tenshi's jibe was interrupted as a tremendous pain coursed through her belly along with a sonic boom rupturing her ears. "URGHK!"

Hong Meiling has smite the mighty celestial with a devastating fist to the stomach. "Fierce Tiger's Mountain-Shattering Fist!"

"WWWAAAARRRRGH!" Tenshi wailed. The gatekeeper's death fist caused Tenshi to bleed from the mouth while flying. She hit the ground hard and tumbled unceremoniously into a tree many yards away from the gatekeeper. After that grand and climatic moment, Tenshi finally slipped into unconsciousness. "Uh..."

Hong Meiling has won. After a grueling traditional battle, she has prevailed against the indestructible Tenshi Hinanawi!

Meiling fell on all fours and gasped in order to catch her breath. That last resort move of hers was risky, but it won her the battle! "I did it... she's out."

A group of fairies that was watching the fight soon flew over to the fallen Celestial. After a moment of inspecting Tenshi's body, one of them said, "It's over! She's out like a light!"

"Thank goodness!" Meiling gasped and stood back on her feet. "She was one tough cookie! I'm going to have to train harder if I were to encounter people as strong as her again. Yuugi would love to meet this person."

"What are we going to do about her, Meiling-san?" Another fairy asked.

"Take her inside and let her heal," Meiling replied as she stared at the unconscious girl's bloody form. "Thank you for the battle, fellow warrior. I apologize for the bodily harms I've inflicted upon you and I pray for your quick recovery."

"Oh no!" Another one of the pixies gasped. "What about the others?"

"Oh snap," Meiling swore and dashed off towards the mansion. "Guys, take care of her for me!"

INTERLUDE

Mansion Anteroom

Reimu felt immensely satisfied on a job well done. She has successfully gathered some cash from the mansion's savings and punished Saeba as a bonus. The little bitch didn't even know what hit her! She returned to the den with two bags of money in her hands (besides, what's a couple of thousands of yen compared to Remilia's riches?). "Once I return to the shrine, I'm going to throw a big party!"

"Reimu," Marisa said as she entered the lobby from the great library. "Is that you?" She was riding on her broom with a huge bag on her shoulders and an unconscious Alice in tow. "Oh. It is you. I thought I heard your voice, ze. Were you saying something about a party just now?"

"Right you are, Marisa," Reimu nodded with a chuckle. "I've managed to collect some cash from our dear old friend's stash. Talk about a lucky break!"

Marisa made a face. "A little too lucky if you ask me."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, first off, have you noticed any... lack of resistance since we been here?" Marisa questioned.

"Hmm... aside from dealing with a horde of angry fairies, I think they defended the place pretty well this evening." Reimu replied.

"Yea, I dealt with a lot of fairies too," Marisa said and patted Alice on her back. "And Alice just so happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Still... something's bothering me about all this, ze. I haven't ran into Patchy yet."

Reimu dreaded the worst. "Please don't jinx us, Marisa."

"Plus, I don't think either of us wouldn't have gotten so lucky if not for a certain..." Marisa trailed off for emphasis, "silver-haired terror."

"Reimu-saaaan..." A somewhat deranged voice sang.

"Damn it, Marisa!" Reimu cursed with a face-palm.

"Yea, I shoulda kept my mouth shut, huh?" Marisa grinned.

"Amen to that," Reimu acknowledged and regarded the voice. "Show yourself!"

"Hehehe... what's wrong, Reimu-san?" Sanae stepped out of the shadows of the room. She looked quite different. Physically, the youngest of the trio looked the same every since they known her. Yet, something was definitely amiss about the Moriya fujo. Her amber eyes were dull and soulless and there was a wicked grin on the fair maiden's face. "You seem agitated. Need some stress relief? Well then, let's get ready to rumble!"

Marisa noticed the demonic countenance of the white-blue mikogi robed girl. "Sanae, what the hell?"

"What has gotten into you, Sanae?" Reimu wondered.

"Enough! You die, Hakurei!" Sanae shrieked and a concentrated stream of danmaku shot across the lobby. The older duo dodged the stream as it destroyed a large portion of the wall.

"Holy shit!" Marisa gasped. "That's not Sanae!"

"Yes it is! She's under a possession curse!" Reimu explained as she prepared a spell. "Divine Spirit 'Fantasy Seal'!" A powerful collection of homing projectiles erupted from a magical circle and battered the demoniac girl.

"AAAH!" Sanae cried as she was bombarded by Reimu's powerful attack. She knocked over a sofa before she hit the floor. "Reimuuuuuu~!" Sanae trembled her fist. "That was not very nice!"

"Stop whining, Sanae. Geez," Reimu sighed and chucked a yin-yang orb at her rival.

THUNK!

"Yeow!" Sanae whined, clutching a fresh huge bump on her head. "That hurt, you moron! I'm telling Remilia-sama!"

"Sama?" Marisa wondered with an moue of consternation.

"Yes. Remilia must be the one that placed the curse on her," Reimu stated with a drawn out sigh. "Damn that loli-vampire. She just had to make it harder than it needs to be."

"Ha! Right you are, Reimu-san! I belong to Remilia-sama now!" Sanae remarked with cruel laughter. "If you got a problem with it, then you can come over to the throne room and see her!" With that challenge issued, the demoniac miko vanished in a poof of black smoke.

"Reimu, let's leave already," Marisa considered with a flat expression. "We got what we came for, so let's leave Tits McGee here. She seems happy enough about her new life as Remi's eternal slave."

"No," Reimu simply uttered.

"Why not?"

"Because, if we leave Sanae here then we have hell to pay," Reimu elucidated. "Both Kanako and Suwako will be on our case and we'll never hear the end of it! It will be a nightmare for the rest of our lives!"

Marisa wasn't liking the outcome."Ugh. They might as well downright kill us then!"

"And that's the worst case scenario," Reimu added. "Either way, we're screwed. That's why we may be better off confronting Remi for Sanae's freedom. So let's go to Remi's room and kick her loli can!"

Marisa grinned. It sounded like a good idea. "I'm down with that, da ze!"

SAKUYA'S ROOM

2nd Interlude

Sakuya sipped the last of her tea and got off the bed. It has been a few hours since she fainted for the second time tonight. She wasn't sure that it was because of her illness or the news of the intruders. Either way, she refused to be in such a useless state while the mansion was in danger. At this point, her influenza felt like an insult to her. She couldn't bear such humiliation any longer. "Ugh! I can't afford to rot here any longer. I gotta go help the others."

The moment Sakuya made it to her dresser the door of her room swung open. "Sakuya!"

"Meiling!" Sakuya gasped, using her pinstriped outfit to cover herself because of the flimsy gown she had on. "What's wrong?"

"Ah! I had a bad feeling that you were attacked and that's way I came over here," Meiling explained, noticing the blush on the maid's face. "How are you feeling now?"

"A little better than I was before," Sakuya stated as she turned towards her full-length mirror. "I'm still a little sick, but I have a duty to fulfill."

"Duty?" Hong raised a brow questionably. "Sakuya, don't force yourself. You need more- AHH!" Hong saw the maid took out a knife and threw it at her. Strange thing was the fact that Sakuya's aim was way off. The thrown knife wall jutted on the corridor wall just outside the door. "Wow... you are sick."

"Never mind that," Sakuya remarked with a pout and turned her back to the gatekeeper. "What happened to you by the way? You're a mess."

Hong gasped as she look down at the healing wound on her chest and her torn pant leg. "Well, one of the intruders I was fighting was surprisingly strong. She was strong, Sakuya! It was my first time fighting a Celestial! You should have saw how she manages pain! Totally unbelievable!"

"That's all the more reason that the mansion needs my help," Sakuya remarked nonchalantly, fastening a pair of fingerless gloves on her hands.

Meiling watched the maid slipped into her uniform intently. To the gatekeeper, Sakuya has one hell of a nice body! She never understood why Sakuya desired to have bigger breasts. If anything, Hong desired a frame as sleek and lithe as Sakuya's. If the maid desired sporadic back pains then she can have it! Appriciating the maid's backside, Meiling nearly drooled (she has a similar build to Jaime Koepp and Lisa Raye. Yea). "Gosh, Sakuya..." Meiling said with a blush. "You have such a wonderful build. So nice and curvy... I really like how round your behin- ACK!" A pillow smacked into her face.

Sakuya was glaring at Meiling with her right arm out. She was dressed in her black pinstriped uniform. "You were saying?" She grounded out dangerously. "Why were you staring at my body in such a manner, Meiling?"

Meiling tucked the pillow in her arm and giggled demurely. "Ah... I couldn't help it, Sakuya. Besides, honesty is good for the soul."

Sakuya eased her arm down to her side as a small smile graced her lips. "A little too honest if you ask me. Now let's get a move on. We need to head to Remilia-sama's room as quickly as we can."

Meiling nodded. "Right."

THE FINAL BATTLE

Reimu made it up the lengthy flight of stairs that lead to Remilia's chamber. It has been one long night and it's about to get even longer. She gritted her teeth in annoyance. She definitely didn't feel like taking on a pissed off vampire who claimed to be a descendant of Dracula himself. Noticing the full moon while passing the clock tower didn't made her feel any better either. One thing that Reimu knew about vampires (and other beings of youkai and foreign monsters) was that they were at their zenith on such a night. She placed her hand on the golden knob of a large velvet door. "Damn. Here goes nothing..." she sighed and entered the room.

It was time to wrap things up.

Remilia was sitting on her throne, drinking a teacup of blood nonchalantly. Once Reimu noticed the significant changes of the vampire's body she cursed her luck. "D'oh!"

"I beg your pardon?" Remilia wondered. Sip.

Okay, it was time to get this show on the road. It's do or die time! "Uh – Suffer, Remilia! Sanae does not belong in this mansion!"

The teacup fell off of Remi's fingertips and clattered to pieces on the velvet floor.

"Ahem... What-"

"Aw c'mon!" Reimu complained. "Not this speech again? Don't you think it's a little cliché already?"

Remilia ignored her. "What... in the Nameless Hill are you doing in my house uninvited, Reimu! Let alone robbing me!"

"Wait. How did you know that I was robbing you?" Reimu wondered.

"Well, what other reasons do you have for coming here besides solving incidents and social events?" Remilia imposed. "Don't worry, I'll wait..."

Reimu paused. "Uh... umm..."

"Exactly!" Remilia exclaimed with a flare of her eyes. The great vampire rose from her throne and flapped her impressive wings. The new Remilia was as tall and voluptuous as a well-trained volleyball player."Now Reimu... it's time for your punishment! And you better believe that this outcome will be different from last time! Since our last battle I've stored up a lot of demonic power in hopes of encountering you again!"

"Tch! Motivated by revenge, huh?" Reimu said, brandishing her trusty gohei. "You're certainly a classic villain, Remilia."

"That may be a bit true, Reimu, but this time... I'm going for something fresh," Remilia grinned as her fingernails elongated. "This time, the villain wins in this story!"

"Reimu!" Marisa sang as she arrived on the scene. "What's wrong with you? You were going to start this party without me?"

Reimu rolled her eyes. "Marisa... where have you been?"

"To a hidden room full of goodies," Marisa answered bluntly. "You know, that little attic past the clock tower? Plus I had to find a spot to put Alice aside for this event."

"Marisa, we have a royally pissed off vampire to contend with!" Reimu hollered.

"Oh right," Marisa acknowledged and took a good look at Remilia. "Hi, Remi. Smokin' hot body ya got there, ze! Bow-chika-wow-wow!"

"Insolence..." Remilia snarled with a trembling fist. "Sanae!"

The said girl appeared before her master. "You called, Remilia-sama?"

"Indeed. Now take care of these intruders!" Remi commanded.

"Ooh! You're such a loving master!" Sanae swooned, embracing the much taller woman.

"Wha- Sanae, no!" Remilia stammered. "Now's not the time for this!"

Sanae whimpered and looked up at Remilia with the puppy eyes. "You... you don't love me, Remilia-sama?"

Seeing the young miko's sad expression caused Remilia's heart to bleed. "Aw... don't cry, child," Remilia reassured, wrapping her leathery wings around the possessed girl. "Of course your Master loves you. You're a good... demoniac slave girl."

"Okay..." Marisa sighed at the comically pathetic sight. "I already had enough of this shit." She took out her mini hakkero and took aim. "Master Spark!"

Remilia vanished out of harm's way with Sanae in tow. The colorful beam of destruction destroyed the vampire's throne and blasted a certain karakasa girl out of the sky beyond the balcony. Sanae reappeared with a royally pissed expression on her face. "You! How dare you try to attack me and Remilia-sama!" She brandished a black spell card from her sleeve and activated it. "Hell Sign 'Brimstone Shower'!"

A small rip in reality suddenly appeared above the demon priestess. After chanting a dark prayer, numerous bits of scorching rocks descended upon her rivals. "Suffer!" Sanae screamed.

"Yikes!" Reimu exclaimed, cartwheeling out of the hell storm's trajectory.

"Stardust Reverie!" Marisa declared, using the barrage of various star-shape danmaku to counter the flaming rocks. "What in blazes is going on? Since when did Sanae began casting demonic spells?"

"Simple! She must be possessed by a demon from Hell!" Reimu clarified, hopping out of harm's way of a red hot beam intended for her. She gritted her teeth and took to the air, challenging Sanae.

"Oh-ho! What's this?" Sanae giggled. "Is the great Reimu Hakurei ready to challenge the very forces of Hell itself?"

"Yea, I've done it before," Reimu nodded, activating a spell. "Spirit Sign 'Fantasy Jewels'!"

"Hell Sign 'Burning Purgatory'!"

Five multicolored spheres of magic clashed with an equal number of large orbs of hellfire, causing an explosion. Both Reimu and Sanae were sent reeling from the blast.

"Ah, keep it up, Sanae," Remilia praised from her spot on the floor. "You're doing good, kiddo!"

"Psst, cow tits!"

Remilia whipped around at the insult. "Pardon?"

"Orreries Sun!" Marisa commanded, with four orbs encircling here. Each orb fired a beam of energy at the vampire. "Gotcha!"

"That's what you think, bitch!" Remilia laughed as Marisa felt something incredibly soft on the back of her head. Realizing that the Remilia she blasted was a fake, she slowly turned around to meet deep red eyes leering down at her. "Boo."

"Aw, I screwed, am I?"

"Pretty much. Raw. Trickster Devil!" Remi zipped passed the witch, leaving red slash line in her wake. The witch was hit twice across her shoulder and her ribs.

"OWW!" Marisa cursed, tumbling onto the floor. "Reimu! A little help down here!"

"I'm a little busy right now, Marisa!" Reimu retorted, dodging a trail of flames. "Damn it, Sanae! How could you fall for such a cheap trick?"

"Cheap trick?" Echoed the younger girl as a crazed smile crept on her face. "Reimu-san, this is not a cheap trick. This is my potential realized! The best thing that ever happened to me! I'm having a blast with my new-found power!"

Reimu raised a brow. "You're... having a blast?"

"Yep! A real good time, my friend!" Sanae giggled. "It's like going on a girls' night out to a nightclub filled with lots of good alcohol and ugly men! It's exhilarating!" (A/N: That was cold, Sanae. Real messed up. Even more so if any of the female readers agree)

Reimu frowned. "You're sick, you know that?"

"I know, right! Ain't life grand!" Sanae giggled and employed another black spell card. This one had red trimmings on it. "But now it's time to end yours, Reimu-san. Burn in hell! Devil Sign 'Lucifer's Wile'!" A huge net of hellfire surrounded the rivals with six magic circles appearing around Sanae. Large chunks of fiery stones, lasers, and f lamming skulls burst forth from the circles.

"Divine Arts 'Omnidirectional Demon Binding Circle'!" Reimu called out, employing one of her strongest spells. A powerful pillar of holy light surrounded the Priestess of Paradise, protecting her from the powers of the damned. Reimu grunted as she was forced back to the scorching net behind her. "Shit!"

"What's wrong, Reimu-san?" Sanae taunted, the forces of hell pouring out of the circles relentlessly. "Can't take the heat? Hahahaha! I made a funny!"

"Ugh!" Reimu grunted as a barrier begin to weaken. The Binding Circle was doing well against the hellish barrage for a while but time was running out. "It's risky... but it's the only chance I got in order to stop her."

"Hahaha! What's that, Reimu-san?" Sanae cackled, placing a hand near her ear. "I can't hear youuuuu~!"

"Here goes nothing!" Reimu exclaimed, reinforcing her spell and flying towards Sanae in a graceful pattern. She dodge the lasers and grazed some of the flaming skulls (which were the most dangerous). After moments of dodging and grazing with her barrier, Reimu was now face to face with her rival. Her barrier was gone and she was greatly annoyed. "That's your ass, Sanae."

Sanae's eyes widened with a gasp. "No! It can't be!"

The Protector of Gensokyou unleashed her penultimate attack. "Divine Spirit 'Fantasy Seal'!" A horde of highly powered spheres of holy magic surrounded Reimu. "Now I will set you free!"

A pitiful look etched on Sanae's face. "Damn."

The swarm of projectiles descended on the Moriya miko.

KA-BOOOOOOOM!

"KYAAAH!" Sanae shrieked as she was sent crashing to the floor. She met the floor with a painful sounding thud and something peculiar emerged from her chest. It was the demon bat that possessed Sanae!

Sanae noticed a gargoyle statue in a corner of the room before she slipped into unconsciousness. Hey. That guy looks like Goliath...

"Aha!" Reimu laughed, appearing before the frightened hell-spawn. "You're not going anywhere! It's time to send you back to where you belong!"

The bat screeched in terror and tried to flee but it was too late.

Reimu intercepted the path above the demonic critter and fired a set of needles at it. "Demon Sealing Dimensional Rift!" The barrage struck the bat and it was sent back to it's home realm. After completing the feat, Reimu rubbed sweat off her brow. "Phew! That was pretty rough!"

"Oi! Reimu!" Marisa shrieked, getting slapped repeatedly across her face as Remilia held her by her shirt. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Remi's pimping me over here! Oww! Get your lazy butt over here on the double!"

"Right!" Reimu soared over Remilia and rained a number of amulets on the vampire. The amulets burst into smoke.

"Gah! How annoying!" Remilia coughed as she released Marisa. "What are you, a ninja now?"

"Nope. I'm just your reliable protector of this realm, that's all," Reimu remarked. "Marisa, hit her!"

"You got it! Meteoric Shower!"

"Fantasy Jewel!"

Remilia was suddenly trapped with danmaku coming from both sides. "This is... gonna hurt," she sighed.

BOOM!

"No!" Koakuma cried. "Remilia-sama!"

"Remi," Patchouli frowned.

Marisa flew away from the destruction. "Reimu, did we get her?"

Reimu stared down at the crater intensely. "I... hope so."

Suddenly a red mist shrouds the room, alerting everyone in it. "Nice try, ladies. Very impressive," Remilia applauded. The mist condensed on the floor, pooling it with a liquid that looked very similar to blood. "Yet, you only managed to irk me further! The time has come for your defeat! No one angers the Scarlet Devil and leaves this place unharmed! No one!"

"Ugh!" Marisa frowned in disgust. "What is up with this mist? And what the hell is that pooling around on the floor?"

"That's... blood," Patchouli gasped.

Reimu overheard what the youkai magician uttered and realized a giant form hovering behind Marisa. "Ah! Marisa, behind you!" Reimu gasped.

"Eh!" Marisa turned around and saw a gigantic hand descending towards her. "Aw, motherfucker!"

WHAM!

The bloody hand swatted Marisa like a bug and returned into the blood on the floor... with Marisa with it. "Hahahaha! Too slow, wicked witch of Gensokyou!" Remilia laughed. "That's what you get for pissing me off!"

"Marisa!" Reimu screeched, landing on the blood soaked floor while searching frantically for her friend . "Marisa! Where are you?" She snapped a glare at Remilia. "What have you done to her! ? Marisa's nowhere to be found!"

"Foolish girl," Remilia snickered. "That's the point."

"You went too far, Remilia!" Reimu cursed, shaking a blood soaked fist. Her hair and the white of her robes were now as red as the blood on the floor. "Marisa may have her ways but she didn't deserve that! Having a devil possess Sanae was one thing but enough is enough!"

"Then come and face me, Reimu," Remilia beckoned. "Make me pay for my sins. Make me suffer for what I've done to your friends!"

"Toryaaaa!" Reimu darted at the Scarlet Devil and tried to hit her with a somersault kick. Unfortunately, the vampire caught her offending foot in her grasp. The miko was now being held upside-down. "Grr! Let go! Let go of me, Remilia!"

"Silence!" Remilia commanded. "This is your punishment! You all are paying for everything you did to me! You break into my abode, attacked my staff and family, and robbed me! Yet, here you are, utterly incensed for removing your friend from this battle."

"Damn you!" Reimu screeched and tossed a yin-yang orb at the vampire.

Remi raised he free hand and deflected the orb. "Bitch, please. As I was saying, you have absolutely no right to be angry after the crimes you committed this night, Reimu. You are a fool to think that you can cast st-"

"I'MA FIRIN' MUH LAZAAAAR! MASTER SPARK!"

"Wha?" Remilia gasped and turned at the sound of the voice, dropping Reimu. Marisa's signature attack beam was heading her way. "Impossible! How did- AAAARGH!" The ray of energy consumed her entire being.

Reimu raised herself from the messy floor. "Marisa?"

The blood drenched witch was grinning triumphantly with her hakkero smoking in her hand. "Take that. Who's the bitch now, bitch?"

Reimu ran up to the Ordinary Witch and gave her a bear hug. "Marisa! You're okay! But how? I couldn't find you anywhere!"

Marisa gave her friend a wink. "I blasted my way out, ze. Pure and simple."

"Well whatever you did, it worked!" Reimu praised.

"What? You'd thought I fell to Remi's cheap trick?" Marisa wondered. "Who do you think I am, Sanae?"

"Ahem. Who you're calling a bitch?" A form made of blood rose from the floor, revealing the Scarlet Devil. "Your mama's a bitch."

"Hey!" Marisa yelled indignantly. "Don't you talk about my mama! Now you're cruising for a bruising, sister! My mama's long gone!"

The witch's rant sparked Reimu's curiosity somehow. "Marisa, now that I think about it... I don't know anything about your mother. What happened to her?" Reimu regretted dispensing such questions because the witch made a pitiful face. She was well aware of Marisa's dysfunctional relationship with her father. "Ah! I'm sorry. I didn't know that what you meant by saying your mom's long gone that she's-"

"-in jail!" Marisa sniffed as a crocodile tear slid down her face. "She was the biggest shroom dealer in Gensokyou... that is, until a certain crazy wannabe regal law enforcer arrest her. To this very day I still can't believe that my mama got popped."

"Whatever. Huuuuh!" Remilia waved her hand and a large spout of blood rose from the floor. "Punishment game!"

"Dodge!" Marisa hollered.

"Agreed!" Reimu added and flew out of harm's way. The wave of blood crashed on the spot the duo once stood a moment ago. "By the eight million gods! The blood solidified as hard as stone! She's really trying to put us out of our misery!"

"Hup!" Remilia waved her hand again and the giant arm of blood emerged again. The gruesome hand formed itself to a fist and shot directly at the heroic duo. "Haha!"

"Move!" Reimu pushed Marisa into a flying start and did evasive maneuvers herself.

"Humph!" Remilia did another gesture with her hand and another arm surfaced from the blood. "Marisa! Here's another present for ya!"

"Do not want!" Marisa retorted.

"Marisa, look out!" Reimu shrieked.

The bloody fist reappeared before the witch. "Got-damn it, Remilia!"

POW

Marisa was knocked off her broom. That had to hurt!

"Hahahaha!" Remilia laughed. "Just give up already! You know that you cannot match me at my zenith, so why persist in this bloodletting?"

"You're overconfident, Remi," Reimu warned. "And that is going to bite you on the ass!" She took out a spell card and prepared her ultimate spell. "It's time to put all this to an end!"

"Oh! Preparing the good ole Fantasy Heaven, eh?" Remilia chuckled, preparing an attack of her own. "Very well. Let's see how it stands up to my ultimate attack in this form!" An overwhelming red aura slowly enveloped the Queen of the Night. The aura began gathering all the blood and mist from the room. "Well it was fun while it lasted, but now it's time to put an end to this. Midnight King 'Dracula Cradle'!"

Suddenly, the door to the room flew open and in came Sakuya along with Meiling. "Oujou-sama!" Sakuya gasped with wide eyes.

This is one of those (extremely) rare moments that Sakuya has bad timing. "Ack! Sakuya!"

Reimu seized opportunity during the maid's unintended intervention. "Fantasy Heaven!"

"Oh no," Remilia raged. "Not this time, Reimu! I won't allow you to claim victory again!"

"FINAL SPARK!" Marisa roared, surprising the Queen of the Night once again.

The powerful spells were heading towards the vampire from two different directions again. From one side, seven arcane yin-yang orbs of pure power was fast approaching her. The orbs contained a part of Dragon's essence h(er)imself. From the other direction, came Marisa's strongest spell which seemed to be galvanized by her desperation. It was impossible to deal with spells of such magnitude simultaneously – even at her empowered form. "No..." the Scarlet Devil gasped in horror. "NOOOOO!"

KABLOOEY!

Everything was fading into nothing, going black. The last thing she heard before succumbing to oblivion were the cries of anguish from every resident of the mansion, Sakuya especially.

"OUJOU-SAMAAAA!" Sakuya forlornly shrieked.

A bloody tear escaped her now sightless eyes. "Sakuya..."

EPILOGUE

The Infirmary

"Hong Meiling! Swallow!" Eirin Yagakoro chided with a mask of irritation. "Swallow it like water!"

"No!" Meiling bawled like a child. "I'll choke on it!"

"Argh, for the love of the dark side of the moon, Meiling," Eirin encouraged. "Ingest the damn capsule already! This antibiotic will prevent your bruises from becoming infected. It's for your own good."

Meiling eased her tantrum. "Can I chew on it then?"

"No," the Lunarian medico insisted. "You must ingest it entirely."

The gatekeeper's temperament once again regressed to that of a infant. "No! I don't wanna!"

Eirin pouted. "Meiling!"

"You are disgracing your yaojing heritage, Meiling," Remilia commented on a nearby sickbed from where the gatekeeper sat. "I've seen you devoured entire portions of roast in a single gulp. Surely a pill won't be much of a problem for you." The vampire was no longer the stately, pulchritudinous demoness that she was mere hours ago. She has reverted back to her adorably ordinary form during the moment of her defeat. Gauze covered a great portion of her body. "Now do what the good doctor ordered. Drink it with a cup of water."

Meiling shivered on the chair next to Remi's bed. "Ah... okay."

Sakuya was neighboring on a bed next to Remilia. "Oujou-sama."

"What is it, Sakuya," the eviscerate vampire huffed.

The Perfect Maid blushed. "Please forgive me for my... grievance earlier. I supposed I lost my composure when I witnessed your defeat. It was too much to bear."

"Oh please," Remilia scoffed. "I'm not the only one who's confined to the infirmary now, am I? Tonight's battle took a toll on Reimu and Marisa as well." She pointed towards the duo resting on their beds across the room. Marisa actually grinned and waved. "My losing came with a price that they've paid dearly for. They fell along with me and I am satisfied with the outcome."

Sakuya smiled. "Then I am happy for you, Oujou-sama."

"Ahem... speaking of price," Eirin noted while administering a syringe. "The bags of money that Reimu 'borrowed' from here... are going to cover the medical bill for all of you. What she stashed away in those bags are more than enough and then some."

Remilia glared at the shrine maiden across the room. "Curses!"

Reimu lolled out her tongue childishly. "BEEEEEE!"

"And now," Eirin faced Meiling with the needle. "It's time for your shots. Considering that you've fought against a Celestial even a youkai's regenerative factor has it's perks. This is to supplement your immune system, Meiling."

"What!" Meiling gasped as her eyes stretched in horror. "A needle! No! No! No!"

The medical knockout gave the gatekeeper a mug of extreme annoyance. "Don't you start whining again, Meiling! Tenshi's blood has spilled onto you and it's a big detriment to you. Why, it's likely that her blood's ravaging your immune system even as we speak."

"No!" Meiling whined and jumped into Remilia's arms. "I hate needles!"

"Argh!" Remilia screamed as the gatekeeper's weight crushed her damaged body. "Meiling, get your big ass off of me!"

"Yo!" Tewi appeared in the room with a roller-bin filled with food. "Who wants chocolate pudding?"

"Me! Me!" Marisa exclaimed with her hand raised in the air and wildly swinging it. She too was resting on a sickbed in the room. "Over here, Tei!"

"I would like one as well, Tewi," Reimu waved, clothed in only her sarashi and black skintight spats (they were out of gowns). Their battle with the fully powered vampire took an immense toll on them. She flopped back down on her pillow with a huge exhale. "Whew... what a night this turned out to be!"

Tewi approached the heroines with two bowls of figgy goodness. "Here ya go, ladies! Enjoy!"

Reimu gazed at her dessert and then gave the youkai rabbit a flat stare. "Okay, Tewi, tell us what's wrong with the pudding. It's not a prank, is it?"

Tewi gasped, expressing mock hurt. "Why Reimu! How could you be suspicious of sweet little ol me? There's nothing wrong with that pudding. I've made it with love."

Reimu handed the bowl back to the prankster. "Right... I thought so."

"Yea, last time I tried your food I had a horrible case of the shits for days," Marisa said, reminiscing in disgust. "I think it knocked off my cycle by a few hours."

Reimu stared at the older girl. "That's a little too much info, Marisa."

"Humph," Tewi scoffed. "I tried. Enjoy your roaring stomachs, ladies."

"Reimu! Marisa!" An unexpected visitor happily exclaimed as she appeared in the room. The sight of the visitor scared the living hell out of the heroic duo. "How you been doing!"

"EEEEEEE!" Reimu shrieked, clawing the wall above the bed's headboard in hopes of making an escape. She looked as though as if Mephistopheles himself has entered the room.

Marisa was as white as the screen behind the text you're reading. "OH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT!"

Flandre yanked the witch off her bed and hopped on the one occupied by Reimu. "Hi guys!" The absurdly powerful being gushed. "I'm so glad to see that you're okay! Big Sis didn't break you two after all!" She wrapped her free arm around Reimu's hip, emitting rather painful sounds as she squeezed the miko.

"Flandre..." Reimu rasped with a blue colored face. The sounds of the destruction going on in her insides were similar to a balloon's surface being griped. It was a rather... vexing sound. "I'm dying..."

"Me too..." Marisa wheezed as part of her soul hung out of her mouth. "I can see Komachi's tig-o-bitties..."

"Ah ha ha! Sorry bout that," Flandre giggled, easing her hold on the girls. "How about some cake to make you feel better?" She faced the door. "Koishi-chan, come on in!"

"Alrighty," the silver haired satori wheeled in a giant vanilla cake. She offered Eirin a slice before approaching Flandre with her vict-, err, friends. "Who wants cake?"

"Give my friends a slice, Koishi-chan," Flandre commanded with our heroines giving thanks to whatever deity they worshiped. "Slice a big piece of cake for Reimu-chan because she's my sweetheart! Hehehehe!"

The whimsical girl handed Marisa a slice on a small dish. "Here ya go!"

"Thanks, ze!" Marisa accepted, oddly revived.

Koishi cut a huge chunk off the cake and offered it to Reimu. The slice was so big that it was a miracle that the saucer it was on barely held it. "And one for you, Reimu!"

Reimu blanched at the dainty offering. That slice of cake must be loaded with hundreds upon hundreds of calories. At this rate her boobs are going to big as her rival. "Uh... is that for me?"

"Of course it is!" Flan and Koishi choruses.

"Don't you think... that it's a little too big?"

"Auh," Flandre scoffed as she placed her hands on her hips (accentuated by the jiggling of her chest). "Big Sis always told me that whenever a poor woman is around, I should give her cake. And you're definitely a poor woman from what I've heard."

"Uh..." Reimu groaned uncertainly and gazed at Remilia across the room. The Queen of The Night gave her a thumbs up. Damn you, Remi.

"Well?" Flandre wondered as she drew closer to Reimu. She cut off a piece of the offered slice with a fork and raised it in Reimu's face. "Say 'ah'!"

Reimu reluctantly complied. "Ah..." Shit!

GULP!

"You see? That wasn't so bad!" Flandre guffawed. "I bet it was pretty good, huh?"

In truth, the cake wasn't bad at all. A little too much on the sweet side, but, meh. She rather deal with a toothache later than the wrath of Flandre. "Yummy..." Reimu implied lamely.

"Auu..." Flandre was staring at Reimu's face curiously. "You have some frosting on your face."

"Eh?"

"I'll get it for you!" Flandre volunteered. "It's going to be a lot like kissing!" Her face drew close... dangerously close to Reimu's. "PUCKER UP!"

"Ah! Flandre!" Reimu witnessed her approaching fate and cowered. The adorable bundle of ultimate destruction was about to claim the Shrine Maiden of Paradise as her own. "No! No! Don't do it! I've never had my first-"

SMOOCH!

Flandre embraced her beloved miko in (probably intended) passionate kiss – after licking the bit of frosting off her face, of course. "Mmm-mhhhm! MMMMM!" Reimu's wails were muffled and she was swinging both of her arms wildly in protest. There wasn't a damn thing she can do right now. She might as well endure Flandre's (frighteningly) adorable advances.

"Yea!" Marisa whooped. "That's the way to do it, Flan! Make her your bitch!"

"Ugh! Would you be quiet, Marisa?" Alice bellowed from a neighboring bed. An ice pack was resting on top of her head. "I'm trying to rest here!"

"Whatever, doll-maker," the witch guffawed. "Just shut the heck up and let your overly wonderful youkai regenerating factor heal your cracked skull."

Alice gasped. "How rude! At least I'll recover long before you will, Little Miss Over-Exertion!"

Marisa laid back on her pillow as a huge face-splitting grin claimed her face. "Keep telling yourself that, Alice. Keep telling yourself that."

"Ya know, this turned out to be a rather interesting night for me," Tenshi commented with a smile. "I'm glad that I've joined those clowns on their little misadventure. It was fun."

Iku Nagae was sitting on a chair next to the Celestial's bed. "Eldest Daughter, you've roamed around the skies while behaving like a common thug and gotten yourself into two brawls." The messenger's sun hat wasn't present on her head and she didn't looked as matronly as she usually did. "I really fail to understand why you consider getting yourself into such scuffles are entertaining to you."

"I had the opportunity to test myself against two powerful youkai, Iku," Tenshi replied in kind. "Even though I was soundly defeated, I really enjoyed the experience. This lower world is so full of wonder."

Iku sighed. The eldest child of the Hinanawi clan has always been like this. "And here I thought that you were severely injured. You have a... rather disingenuous perception of what's fun."

"I know," Tenshi giggled. "Am I cool or not?"

"And I'd thought that I was off duty tonight," Iku lamented, fanning her face with folded sheets of paper. "Woe is me."

"Hey Iku, wanna sign my cask?" Tenshi requested innocently with a marker held out to her caretaker.

Again, Iku sighed. "Why not..."

Daiyousei and Byakuren Hijiri were both present near Nue's bed. News of her being hospitalized at the Scarlet Manor reached the Myouren Temple somehow. "Hijiri..." the nue's boyish voice came out steadily. "How did you know that I was here?"

The Youkrist replied with one of her trademark smile. "Well that nice little demon girl saw you laying unconscious at the gate, Nue-chan. So she came to the temple and brought news of your hospitalization here. I was really worried about you."

"The others," Nue drawled. "Did they come along with you to visit me?"

Byakuren began scratching her jugular innocently. "Well..."

Nue's expression darkened. "Some friends they are. Especially that rat, Nazrin..."

"Nue!" Byakuren gasped. "That's not any way to talk about your companions. We all love you." There were truth in the youkai monk's words but Nue wasn't buying any of it. Being sealed in Makai kinda does that to ya.

Nue crossed her arms with a pout, her alto voice getting deeper. "Tch. Love, huh? I still have to get used to such a concept."

"I love you, Nue-chan," Daiyousei confessed out of the blue.

Both the youkai savior and chimera's eyes were wide. "What?"

Dai was now beet red with an overly dumb look on her cute face. Did she just say that out loud? "Uh, I mean... I love you like a relative, Nue-chan. Y-yea. Like sisters. Or cousins."

Byakuren was giggling like a schoolgirl now. Nue gazed at her new friend with uncertainty. "You... love me?" She wondered as her wings slithered over her shoulders.

"I do, Nue-chan," Dai whispered. "I was by your side while you were unconscious in the rubble. I was there the whole time until Koakuma saw you."

"Plus," Byakuren added with a wink. "Kogasa left the temple to look for you." She indicated towards an occupied bed behind her. "See?"

There, sleeping peacefully on the bed was Kogasa. The poor ghoul-like youkai was covered in soot. Suddenly, she jerk upright on the bed with her arms held out like a zombie. "Surprise..." she uttered and fell back on her pillow, snoring like a hibernating beast.

"Well that was weird," Nue said flatly. "Poor kid gets herself in all types of trouble."

"Hmm," Byakuren teased. "Sounds familiar, doesn't she?"

Nue caught on to the monk's quip. "Hijiri!"

Byakuren laughed at Nue's reaction. "Oh Nue-chan! You're so cute when you're angry. No wonder Dai-chan likes you."

"Nu-eh!" The undefined girl gasped as she gazed at the great fairy with a blush. For a moment, both of them were staring into each others eyes. Nue suddenly broke the trance, stuttering in embarrassment. "W-whatever! Don't make fun of me!"

"Don't worry, Dai-chan," Byakuren told the fairy. "Nue likes you too. She'll eventually come around. You can even come over to the temple to visit her."

Daiyousei was practically glowing now. "Ah! Thank you!"

"Clowns," the now red-faced beast pouted. "The both of you!"

"Ooh, what a night this turned out to be," Sanae whined, sipping a cup of water. Her wounded shoulder was layered with gauze. "I've gotten injured by Remilia-san, possessed by an evil spirit, and now suffering a terrible headache. I will never wager with Reimu again. I've learned my lesson."

"Yes you did," Suwako remarked solemnly. "A very valuable lesson was learned tonight. Whatever doesn't kill ya only makes ya stronger, kid."

"Still, you could have helped me, Suwako-sama." Sanae chided, giving her ancestor a flat gaze. "Fighting Remilia was really scary, you know."

"Relax," Suwako patted the young priestess on her back. "Of course it was a scary battle. But it wasn't anything that you couldn't handle, sweetie. I wouldn't leave you alone if you didn't have a chance against Remilia. All challenges are scary at first. You did better than you thought."

Sanae frowned. "Are you kidding me? I can still smell the scent of brimstone on me."

"Hahaha! As they say back in my day 'You gotta go through hell in order to get to heaven'. Ya know, turning a weakness into strength, defeat into victory and stuff. Generally to overcome your limits." Suwako said, poking Sanae's nose. "I'm proud of you."

A wry smile appeared on Sanae's lips. "Kanako-sama forced you to come back over to the mansion, didn't she?"

"Ack!" Suwako's sagely countenance suddenly vanished. "Um... yea... she even took out her old vine from the storage room and threatened to beat me with it once I'm asleep. I pretty much didn't have a choice but to return here."

Sanae nodded her head with a drawn out sigh. "For shame, Suwako-sama..."

Meanwhile, outside of the mansion, a newly rejuvenated Cirno appeared on the scene. Regenerating from Marisa's Master Spark took longer than she thought. "Damn dat witch!" Cirno swore. "Eye shuid go in there an' teech her a lessin'! Bur! No one zaps da strongest an' gits away wit it!"

And so, that puts an end to this lengthy tale. By the powers of Fate, Providence, or Kismet, no Touhou girls were brutally murdered during the making of this fanfic. After tonight, everything went back to normal and our ladies resumed their daily lives. It's a Happy Ending for everyone!"

"HEY!" Cirno shouted to no one in particular.

Um... yes?"

"Dis is not da end," the ice fairy pointed her finger accusingly. "Eye still have a score ta saddle wit Marisa! BUR!"

Cirno, please. You can extract your revenge on Marisa at another time. You'll have your chance. It's all good.

Cirno's deep blue eyes dilated in anger. "No way! Eye'm da strongest! Eye want my shot at da witch agun, Captun Falcun! Bur! Bur!"

It's Captain Vulcan. Geez! Cue the fade to black effect.

A certain youkai of darkness appeared as everything suddenly went dark. "Th-th-th-th that's all folks," the adorable Rumia announced. She was munching on a piece of roast she stole from the mansion.

Whelp. See you next time. Bur...

Damn it, Cirno.

END OF TALE

That's that. That should wrap things up nicely. This silly tale was inspired by the Touhou Kinema Kan PV entitled 'Memories Of Phantasm' and it looks very high quality. It's roughly based on Touhou 7: Perfect Cherry Blossom. If you're new to Touhou or haven't done so yet, I recommend you check it out immediately. Originally, it's not voiced but there should be a number of fandubs out there by now.

Speaking of Kinema Kan, the song that Kaguya-hime was singing was 'Touhou Oendan' or 'Touhou Cheering Squad.' It's my absolute favorite Touhou PV/music video.

Tenshi. Yea, I may have overdid it on the badassery on her but you have to bear in mind that she's a Celestial. She's practically the bane of a youkai's existence – even among oni and bakeneko. I've tried my best not to have her lengthy battle with Meiling one-sided. For a moment, I thought that Tenshi was going to win.

Speaking of Meiling... were you expecting a Musou Tensei-esque finishing attack? It was tempting as hell, but I went for a Bajiquan deathfist – Paul Phoenix style!

Heh. I admit, I was dying on some parts of this tale, Alice/Marisa confrontation in particular. But... I would be lying if I told ya that I didn't encounter difficulties at some parts. The Myouren wedding was the hardest part. I'm (somewhat) aware that Buddhism doesn't have much to do with wedding ceremonies (if at all). Marriage is more of a Shinto custom, ya see. With this in mind I somehow have no doubts that Byakuren would be overjoyed to conduct a wedding – especially between human and youkai.

Too bad it was a dream.

About that phantom musician part... let's just say that anybody that ever played CastleVania 4 will get the reference.

About Myouren... anybody noticed Orange there? I hardly ever see her in Touhou fanfics (along with Kotohime and the dream goddesses). On an additional note, Orange's appearance was a nod to WillieG.R.'s Icicle Sukima. Give his fanfics a read when you get the chance.

And lastly, if you have the time, head over to the Let's Danmaku forums for a visit. It's a real cool place to lounge around, chat, and fanfic support. Heck, for a guy that doesn't blog I'm usually there (even at work). If you're new to writing Touhou fanfics I seriously recommend checking it out. You're very likely to meet prolific authors such as Etherdrone, Achariyth1, WillieG.R., Magnificent Sasquatch (X), TakerFoxx, Kerreb17, and among others. It's a welcoming place and you can get advice if needed. And... you may wanna leave your sanity at the door. Jus' sayin'.

And now...

::In a Tyrone Biggums voice::

"I'ma smoke some crack!"

Kidding! Kiddin'...

NEXT TALE

Maidens VS Ninjas

Take care!