Lavender?

Jason awoke to the smell of Lavender and musky old books.

He opened his eyes and everything was a blurry mess. He blinked several times before clarity came to his tired eyes. He had been in this room before. He looked around.

DEAR GOD

Jason Todd was in his old room at Wayne Manor. He saw his bookshelf, still filled with all his favorite things. The wallpaper, the furniture, everything was exactly the same. Like he had been here just yesterday, but he had not been in this room for 5 years. He examined his body, bandages and gauze covering his upper chest as well as bandages on cuts from the explosion that happened a few days earlier.

Jason ran his hands through his thick long-ish hair, Jason turned to the mirror in front of his old bed. "God, major Deja Vu going on here" he thought. He looked decent he thought for a guy who survived an explosion and a knife to the chest in the past week. He started to realize he was in Bruce's castle once again, (he had always referred to it as a castle) and it hit him. "Why the hell did the man I fought, shot at, save me"? Bruce could have left him to die in that alley, but he didn't. This was all too much, he slowly got out of the bed and made it to the door and collapsed like a ton of bricks, he was wheezing. "Jesus did that knife hit a lung" he asked himself out loud.

The door opened and Jason looked up to see Alfred.

"Trying to go somewhere Master Jason"? The Butler asked.

"Jesus this guy is still formal as ever" Jason thought.

"Uhh, hey AL, it's been awhile hasn't it."

"Quite sir, it's good to hear that voice again, although it's gotten deeper."

Jason just kept looking at the butler, it had been so long , he wondered if Alfred still cared for him , did Bruce tell Alfred what happened , how exactly he'd come back from the dead?

''Thanks Alfred, it is good to hear yours as well."

''God, this is awkward' 'he thought, ''If I could just stand for more than a few seconds I'd be outta here"

"It's not everyday someone comes back from the dead Master Jason."

Alfred helps the man up and into the bed, Jason sees his Red Hood mask on the table beside the bed.

"I'm quite disappointed in you Jason, Master Wayne has been telling me things you've done."

"HERE WE GO LECTURE FROM MOTHERHEN" Jason sarcastically thought.

"Aww, so the big guy does talk about me."

''What happened to you Master Jason."

"Nothing happened Alfred; I simply realized who I truly am."

Before Alfred could say another word HE Appeared in the doorway of the room.

Jason started thinking about the other night.

''Hard to forget that night, huh? In a way, Batman, this was the site of your first great failure. Maybe you're greatest, but certainly not your last, right? Ah, memories.''

''Yes. You can't stop crime. That's what you never understood. I'm controlling it. You wanna control crime by fear. But what do you do with the ones who aren't afraid? I'm doing what you won't, I'm taking them out.''

''Tell me what happened to you Jason, let me help.''

''It's too late. You had your chance, and I'm just getting started.''

Jason could admit, he was a dick to Bruce, but he was angry, so angry at everyone, he understood Bruce's moral code, but it did not matter, his moral code was weak and it did not get the job done.

''Alfred leave."

These words brought Jason out of his mind and back to his current situation.

Alfred nodded and left the room not looking back once.

Bruce and Jason stared at each other. Just stared for what seemed like hours. Finally Jason broke the thick awkward silence.

''Why? Why'd You Save Me."

The reply Jason got was cold.

''If i had let you die Jason, it would of gone against my moral code, if we'd gone by your code you would be dead now wouldn't you."

Ouch.

''Maybe I wanted to be left there to die, after all I'm a murderer right , you think I'm no better than Joker , or Riddler , or Ivy right? Just because i get the job done in a way you think is unfit does not mean it's wrong."

''Jason saying your way of dealing with crime is unfit, is an understatement. Like I said you're becoming a Crime Lord."

''I'm doing what you couldn't Wayne'' At this point Jason was yelling.

''You want to control crime by fear. But what do you do Bruce, with the ones who aren't afraid? I'm doing what you won't, I'm taking them out. I'm doing what needs to be done."

''What you are doing is not the right way Jason!'' What happened to you, you always had a dark side to you but so does everyone, this-this is not you... Jason, what happened?"

''I started thinking clearly for the first time in years Bruce, you should try it."

Bruce stared at Jason.

''I examined your blood, your testosterone levels are high, high for even a twenty year old." "There were also some normalites in your blood."

Jason just looked at Bruce.

''Coming back from the dead will do that."

''No Jason, it was the pit, the Lazarus pit changed you, made you more aggressive, it amplified your angry and-"

''Or maybe it just brought out what I truly have always been Bruce."

''Jason listen to me , Ra helped your rebirth but I know , I know he knew what it would do to you Jason , let me help you please , this isn't the Jason I took under my wing, this isn't the son I know'' Bruce whispered the last part.

Jason looked up.

'Your son? I was never your son Bruce, and you never truly knew me, you are weak and I'm doing what is necessary."

Jason instantly regretted what he said; he could see the pain in Bruce's face.

He started to get up and gather his mask.

''Sit down'' Bruce said.

Jason's response? It was simple.

''NO''

''I SAID SIT DOWN'' Bruce yelled.

Jason sat down; damn the old man could still scare him with that voice.

Bruce walked towards Jason, the closest they have been in 5 years.

''I do not care if you hate me , I do not care what you think , you are staying here , at least until you're recovered , I assume you didn't know aside from the cuts , broken ribs and the knife wound you had internal bleeding from the explosion."

Jason said nothing.

''I'm helping you, I don't care if you like it or not'' Bruce hissed at Jason.

''WHY, WHY HELP ME RECOVER HUH? I'M JUST GOING TO GO BACK OUT THERE AND START DOING THINGS MY WAY...KILLING PEOPLE...I DON'T NEED YOU OR YOU'RE HELP."

Jason pushed Bruce and walked to the door and was walking out when-

''When I saw you in that rubble cut up, bruised, broken, dead-"

Jason stopped walking and turned to Bruce.

''When I held your cold limp body...it was the ultimate failure of my life, I had lost a friend, an apprentice, most importantly I lost a son that day."

Tears started to run down Bruce's face.

Jason was speechless; he had never seen the old man cry ever.

Tears formed in Jason's eyes as Bruce continued.

''The Funeral was nice , Alfred had cleaned you up well, you smelled like the soap you always used , you were in a nice suit, your hair combed, I had postponed the service a few times , I couldn't take the thought of burying you. But we did, we finally held it, me, Alfred, Dick, Barbara, we were all there. Everyone was crying , I wasn't , I couldn't , not because I had to be strong, but because I physically couldn't, I had spilled all the tears I could, I was spent, numb. It went by so fast, I was not mentally there. Everyone left and it was me and you. Held you one last time and then put you in the coffin and that was that."

Jason had tears streaming down his face, as did Bruce.

''Not a day goes by when I don't think about you or all the mindless possibilities of how I could have gotten to you sooner and saved you. I'm sorry Jason, I'm sorry I failed you as a father, I'm sorry I failed at saving you, this all of this is my fault."

''Let me help you son."

Jason tried so hard but he could not stop the tears from flowing, this was all too much at once. He turned away from Bruce.

Jason started shaking and stumbled out into the hallway and was stumbling around, his mind was a mess, he honestly forgot he could feel. He hadn't felt anything but anger and revenge in such a long time.

All Jason knew was he had to get out of here, had to clear his head and think. He could really use a cigarette. He stumbled to the stairs, tears still flowing, and tried to walk down the staircase but failed miserably. He fell on his chest right on his broken ribs and knife wound, he gasped for air, and wanted to scream but could not. Everything started to get blurry, before he passed out he felt strong arms pick him up and he was being carried to his room.

Before he passed out from pain and exhaustion Jason muttered

''I'm Sorry."