Carlisle relaxed on the couch as he became engrossed in the morning news. "You know sometimes I wish we could partake in the morning coffee ritual. I don't even remember what it tastes like." He mused as he watched a reporter jump start his day with a jolt of caffeine.
"I have no doubt that it would taste very differently now. Probably quite bitter actually. " Esme kissed his cheek as she headed towards the stairs. "We may not get to enjoy coffee but we still get some of the human experience. For example, there is no shortage of the traditional 'Do I have to go to school today' from our children."
Her mate smirked as he watched his wife head up stairs to round up their brood. "At least they can't claim to be sick."
"Ha! That shows just how observant you are, Dr. Cullen. Simply because it's a physical impossibility doesn't mean that they still won't try to get away with it. Ask Emmett how often he has had a fever or stomachache," Esme called back as she disappeared down the hall.
Carlisle chuckled softly as he settled back into the plush cushions. He regretted that he had to admit that his wife was right. Most mornings saw him racing from the house to get to work so he didn't take the time to enjoy the early hours with his children. At least today was an exception to that. He had been asked to work an overnight shift the evening before, so he was able to take things a little easier today and, with the children at school, he and his mate would have the entire house to themselves; a prospect he generally thoroughly enjoyed.
Today was a little different however. Today there was a plan set that caused the gentle patriarch to be more than a slight bit anxious. Taking a deep breath, Carlisle pushed the thought of what awaited him to the back of his mind as he focused on the conversation going on up stairs.
"Emmett, turn that off and finish getting dressed. You're going to be late."
"Aww, come on, Momma. I'm almost ready to level up. Just give me a few more minutes."
"Emmett, do as you're told and don't argue with your mother," Carlisle called out softly, but the quiet grumbling and shuffling sounds that followed let him know that he had been heard.
A piercing shriek jolted Carlisle from the news story as he looked towards the upper floors with worry.
"Emmett, you can't wear that! Rose, how can you let him go out in public like this?"
It sounds like Alice's fashion sense has just been affronted.
"I'm his wife not his keeper," Rose answered rather dismissively as she descended the stairs. "He can wear whatever he likes."
The rumbling bruin belted out a "See!" to his sister only to be met with more displeasure.
"Oh good God, no. Come here, Em. Let me help you with that. It doesn't go that way."
"Crap, Alice, you're going to strangle me. Let me go! I'm not two, you know? I can dress myself, little sis; been doing it a long time."
"Apparently you've been doing it wrong. Emmett, NO! Just no! Would you please stop it?"
Rosalie rolled her eyes at the hostile fashion makeover going on upstairs then gave her father a quiet "good morning" and kissed his cheek.
"Good morning, Kitty. Sounds like the fashion police are making their rounds this morning."
With a sigh she nodded while thumbing through her English Lit essay. "He really didn't look that bad. Alice is just in one of her moods. One of these days she is going to figure out that she can't make Emmy look like he belongs on the cover of GQ. He has his own style; plain and simple." Grabbing her car keys she called out to her mate and siblings. "I'll be in the car. You all want to hurry it up? If we're late because you guys can't get it together I am going to be royally pissed."
"Nothing new about that." It was Jasper's voice that caused Carlisle to shake his head, but his daughter seemed to ignore the comment.
Turning towards Carlisle she gave him a rare heartwarming smile. "Have fun on your day off, Dad. The two of you deserve it so make the most of it."
"Thank you, Kitty. I'll take those words to heart." He grinned as he watched his daughter head out the door.
Seconds later Emmett came bounding down the stairs two at a time. "Morning, Pops! No time to talk. I gotta get out of here before that lunatic tries to paint my nails or something. Don't work too hard today." He wiggled his eyebrows and gave his father a knowing grin before dashing out into the garage.
"As if I would paint his nails, though he really could do with a good manicure; maybe a pedicure. I guess clear polish wouldn't be a bad idea, or maybe something neutral to make them look cleaner." Alice fell silent as she pondered the new prospect of improving on her brother's appearance.
Carlisle looked away from the backdoor and focused on his baby girl and Jasper, who stood at the base of the stairs. Is it always like this? I'm amazed that Esme hasn't pulled her hair out if this is what she goes through every morning.
"Oh, it's worse sometimes. Today is actually rather quiet," Edward softly replied to his father's thoughts as he walked past Alice.
"Edward, please don't do that."
His first born gave Carlisle a sheepish look as he whispered a soft "sorry" and went to gather his books.
"Have a good day, Daddy." Alice skipped over towards Carlisle and gave him a light kiss when she suddenly pulled up and shook her head. Jasper wrapped his arms protectively around his wife as concern darkened his eyes. "Ooo, for some reason I thought that had changed. Hm. Apparently it didn't." Her dark honey gold eyes shifted to Carlisle's. "Daddy, be careful if you really do decide to do that. Esme is certainly not going to like the idea."
"What idea, sweetheart?" Confusion tinged with concern colored the tone of Carlisle's voice.
His tiny dark haired daughter averted her eyes as some unknown scene played in her head before gazing back at her father's face. She shook her head. "I would rather not say since it is for you to share, not me. Just know that it will be alright, but you are going to have to explain things to Momma. Just make sure that this is really what you want and know that if it is, I'll support your decision."
Alice wrapped her arms around her father and hugged him tight as she whispered in his ear. "Jazz has to stay home today. There is going to be some issues in gym class that he really shouldn't be around. He is due for a hunt. That's what makes it not a good idea for him to go to school today, but also makes it easy to get some privacy."
Bouncing back up, she kissed her mate and gave him a parting hug. "Be good, Jazzy. Momma and Daddy are going to want some private time today. Just give them some space and I'll see you this afternoon. I love you, Daddy and if you and Momma need more time just give Edward a call and we'll make ourselves scarce." Kissing Jasper once again, Alice danced out to the garage. Seconds later, father and son heard Rosalie's convertible roar to life.
"Dad, Alice is right."
"You know what she was talking about?"
Edward nodded while his eyes shifted from Carlisle to Esme who had just joined them in the living room and then back again. "I still don't think that is what you need, but if mom is alright with it I'm not going to say anymore. Don't worry either. Neither Alice nor I will say anything. Your secret is safe with us." He gave Carlisle a quick hug then walked over to Esme. "It will be fine. I can understand how you feel and why, but this is a different situation. Just trust Carlisle."
A car horn began to blow, impatiently summoning the last straggler to leave.
"Love you both. See you this evening." Edward took Esme's hand in his and kissed it gently before quickly crossing the room and slipping out the door.
"What in the world was that about? I mean, I can guess, but I would have thought that they would both already know that we are in agreement on this so what are they fretting about?" Esme looked to her husband for answers that he didn't have.
"I have no idea, Love, but it has just occurred to me that our children might be a little odd."
Jasper snorted softly as Esme snickered before smiling gently at her mate. "Really, Darling? And what was your first clue?"
Carlisle reached out and grabbed his beautiful lover's hand pulling her down onto his lap. "You think you're smart, don't you, little Miss?" He tickled Esme as she squealed and curled up into a ball while slapping at him. "Don't you?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." She gasped as she giggled harder.
"Oh, really?" Carlisle growled softly as he ran a hand through her golden brown hair then tightened his grip and pulled her head back to gaze into her half closed eyes. "I think you know exactly what I'm talking about, young lady." He kissed his wife passionately taking her breath away.
Jasper glanced away from his parents a bit embarrassed by intruding where he felt he had no place being. "And on that note, I'm going off for a hunt. I'll give y'all a few hours. Feel free to hang a towel on the doorknob or something as a signal. As long as it's there, I'll be happy to leave you in peace."
Esme groaned softly then reluctantly shook her head. "No need. You can stay, Jasper. I have a meeting in twenty minutes with Em's teacher. Your father is just going to have to wait a little while longer." Brushing her hand against Carlisle's cheek she patted him gently and added, "But I will be back as soon as I can."
"Cancel."
Esme purred quietly as Carlisle's fingers slowly trailed up her inner thigh. "I wish I could, Lover. I can promise that I will make this as brief as possible, but I really have to leave. "
Carlisle's pout caused Esme to giggle.
"Aww. I won't be one minute longer than I have to be, Sweetheart." She kissed his cheek then slipped away to grab her purse.
Jasper cleared his throat and tore Carlisle's eyes away from his wife. "I'm sorry that I ended up having to stay home. I would have thought that I would be alright, but Alice saw a fight break out. Apparently some kid ends up with a busted nose and well…" He looked down at his feet. "I didn't mean to ruin your plans."
Carlisle smiled softly. "You haven't ruined anything, Jasper. Your mother and I will go right along with our plans just fine. It's really not what you think."
Averting his eyes, the southerner replied quietly in the hopes that his mother wouldn't hear. "I believe it is, in part, exactly what I think, Sir."
"Well maybe. I was hoping to share a bit of comfort with Esme before what we have planned out takes place. I'm not sure that I'll be in the mood later."
Jasper nodded. "I can understand that perfectly, Papa."
Carlisle tilted his head as he cocked an eyebrow questioningly. "Did Alice confide in you about what she saw?"
"No, Sir, not at all. It just wasn't all that hard for me to piece together, what with the confrontation between you and Edward the other night and…" He allowed his voice to fade as he reconsidered his words.
"And?" Carlisle prompted.
Esme sauntered back into the living room at that moment saving Jasper from having to explain. "And I will see you in a little bit." She bent down to kiss her husband. "Now you boys behave while I'm gone. No roughhousing, you hear me?" She gave Jasper a wink.
"Yes, ma'am. We'll make sure the house is still in pristine condition for your return." Jasper smiled slightly.
"I wasn't worried about you, Jazz. I was more concerned about this other one over here."
"Hey, now." Carlisle feigned shock at his wife's teasing, causing her to laugh as she headed out the door. With a quick wave to her boys, Esme was gone.
"I do hope that is a good meeting and not some sort of disaster that Emmett has brewing."
"I haven't heard him plotting anything so I think it should be okay." Jasper sat down in a chair to join Carlisle in watching the news.
Precious little time had passed when his father's voice broke the silence between them.
"And?"
"Me and my big mouth." The boy leaned his head back and sighed before looking over at his father. "And I could feel how nervous you have been. You came back from your walk with momma just bristling with the jitters and it's been that way off and on ever since; especially when she is around.
I'm all too familiar with that worried anxious feeling. Every one of us feels that same way when we know we are due a little discussion with you. I can tell you it is an emotion that not one of us can hide. I get to feel it regardless of who is in trouble. Your nervous energy spiked like a solar flare this morning when you thought that you were going to be alone with momma. Like I said, it wasn't hard to piece together."
"Maybe I'm just excited about getting to finally spend an entire day with my mate."
Jasper shook his head. "Different kind of energy. That has an entirely different feeling to it. I can't explain it, but you're just going to have to trust me on this one."
Carlisle studied Jasper for a few seconds as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "That is actually extremely interesting, Jasper. I never knew that our energy signals were that complex."
"Like you wouldn't believe." He nodded then became quiet as he watched the weather report which caused him to laugh. "He's wrong. It's going to be a chilly weekend."
Carlisle chuckled. "He doesn't have the benefit of Alice's gift so all he can do is guess. Speaking of which, does Alice know that you know?"
"No. I didn't see any reason to say anything. This isn't anyone's business but yours." Jasper's brow suddenly furrowed as he glanced at his father. "But, if you don't mind me asking, and don't think you have to answer if you don't want to, but… why?"
Carlisle sighed softly. "For the same reason you provoked me; catharsis."
Jasper nodded in understanding. "Hurts," he stated matter of factly.
"I know."
"Have you …. Well with Esme I mean…for…?"
"No. This is a first and hopefully last time. It was just getting to be too much for me and I couldn't think of anything else to do."
Jasper looked down as he scuffed his toe into the plush carpet. "I'm sorry, Carlisle."
Carlisle looked genuinely puzzled. "Whatever for?"
"For making you feel this way and for butting into your private business where I have no place being."
"Jasper, my emotional issues are not your fault. This is my problem; created by me. I don't want you thinking that anyone else is to blame." Jasper gave a barely perceptible nod which caused Carlisle to groan. "It's the truth, Son and as far as this being a private matter. Well, let's just say that I know privacy is a bit more of a pipe dream around here. I appreciate your discretion the same as I do Alice's and Edward's, but I wasn't concerned about anyone finding out about this arrangement between your mother and I. I see nothing to be ashamed of, however, your mother is more than a little apprehensive so I would appreciate it if we didn't make a big deal out of this."
"Not a problem, Papa."
"Thank you, Son." Carlisle sighed in relief. "Now if I can just figure a way to keep Emmett under control."
"We won't say anything to him."
The elder grinned and shook his head. "I know that you won't, Jazz, but we are talking about Em. He will find out. That is just a given. What he lacks in special abilities, he more than makes up for in tenacity."
Father and son shared a laugh before settling down in a comfortable quiet broken only by the sounds of a civil war documentary Jasper happened to find for them to watch while they awaited Esme's return.
"I just don't know about that boy sometimes."
Carlisle and Jasper both looked up as Esme walked through the door and shut it behind her a little more forcibly than intended causing the sidelights to rattle.
"Do I even want to know?" Carlisle sat up giving his wife his full attention.
"It would seem that your son has been bored in biology and has been getting into all sorts of mischief. Tabletop football made out of litmus paper, turning a shipment of frogs loose in the girl's locker room, putting the anatomy skeleton in compromising positions…"
Jasper snickered earning a stern look from his mother.
"Sorry. That would be Petey. Em stuck a name tag on him sometime back. They're buddies. Petey does tend to inspire Em to new levels of lunacy all the time. There was the time Em dressed Petey in a chauffeur's cap and placed him in the driver's seat of Mr. Greene's car. I heard he gave Mr. Greene quite the scare. That prank has become legendary."
"Well, Emmett's buddy is going to get his butt into serious trouble. The last thing any of us needs is for that boy to become a legend." Esme crossed her arms.
"Oh, Petey isn't really that much trouble, Momma. He tends to hang around spying on the girls, but he's actually very quiet."
The look Esme gave Jasper chilled the venom in his veins.
Carlisle kicked his son's foot as he cleared his throat. "You are not helping, son. If I were you, I would quit while I was ahead. At this rate, Em won't be the only one in the doghouse tonight."
"Yes, Sir." The boy dipped his head towards Esme. "Sorry, Momma. I was just having a little fun. I think that it might be time for me to head out on that hunt." He walked over to Esme and gave her a hug and kiss. "Sorry again. Just trying to help you see the humor." With a slight nod to Carlisle, Jasper quickly made his way to the door before he could make things worse for his brother or himself. Turning back to glance over his shoulder at his parents, the boy added, "Oh, and Momma, don't be too hard on him. We all need a kick in the butt from time to time, but still." He gave her a wink and shot out of the house before Esme could mutter a word.
Getting up and going over to his mate, Carlisle took an easy breath before speaking softly. "I'll have a talk with Emmett today after school, love. We'll get it straightened out. Don't trouble yourself over this. We all know how Em gets when he is bored. Sometimes he just needs a little reminder about how to behave."
"He needs to stop doing things like this, Carlisle. I know that he has a hard time curbing his playfulness, but when it gets him into trouble at school…"
"I do agree, honey, which is why I will talk to him. Acting up in class draws too much attention and Emmy knows better. I'm afraid these things will always come up when your son is the class clown, though." His eyes twinkled as he looked deeply into his wife's eyes. "I do, however like it how he is your little cub as long as he behaves himself, but as soon as he gets out of hand he is my son ."
"That's because my sweet cubbie would never behave like that, so it has to be your influence."
Amusement shone brightly in Carlisle's topaz eyes as he rolled with laughter. "Oh, I seem to recall one young lady who was quite the adventurer in her teens. I believe it was her mischievous nature that landed her into trouble and at my practice with a broken leg."
With a toss of her head, Esme turned slightly away from her mate. "I don't know what or to whom you are referring to, Doctor Cullen."
"Na uh. Oh no you don't, Little Miss. Don't you try fibbing to me. You know what happens to people who are dishonest around here."
Carlisle poked Esme in the ribs, delighting in her squeak of protest, then pulled her into his arms and kissed her softly.
Leaning back to look in her eyes he smiled but when he spoke, his voice carried a more serious tone. "I'll talk to Emmett and we shouldn't have any more problems like this; at least for a little while."
Esme sighed quietly. "Are you going to feel up to talking to Emmett?"
Carlisle squinted as he considered her question for a few moments before nodding. "Yes. I'm sure that I'll be able to handle that particular task. I am quite familiar with lecturing from a standing position." He grinned as he ran his fingers through her hair. "Thank you, Esme."
"I haven't done anything, my love, so you might not want to thank me just yet."
"I know how strange and difficult this is for you. Your willingness to make the attempt is more than reason enough for me to be thankful."
She inhaled deeply as she tried to calm herself. "How do you feel?"
"Nervous. Anxious." He tilted his head as his gaze became unfocused while his mind sorted through the emotions swirling within. "A little bit scared."
"That definitely makes two of us." She cupped his cheek lightly, causing him to return his focus to her. "There is still time to change your mind."
He smiled before leaning into her touch for a second then pulled away to lightly kiss her palm. Taking her hand in his, he gazed lovingly into her eyes. "I don't know how I got so lucky to have you come into my life, Darling." With a soft sigh he shook his head. "My mind has been made. I won't be changing it."
"I didn't really think that you would, but I had to try." Esme sighed sadly as she mentally prepared herself before gently continuing. "Jasper has left us alone. Maybe we should…"
"Put me out of my misery," he offered helpfully.
Esme did little more than nod.
"I would appreciate that, Sweetheart." He hugged her before slipping his hand into hers to lead her upstairs. "One thing this event has taught me; I'm not going to make the children wait any longer than absolutely necessary. That is much worse than the actual punishment."
As they reached the study, Carlisle stopped before the door and took a deep breath then exhaled slowly.
"Three hundred sixty nine years old and scared as hell right now." He lowered his head and shook it, clearly annoyed with himself.
His mate squeezed his hand. "I don't think age can ever be considered a factor, Carlisle. You have every right to be apprehensive. I'm terrified and I am easily in a better position than you." She wrapped her free arm around his shoulders and cuddled into him. "I'm here with you, Love. I'll keep you safe, so at least you don't have to worry about anything like that."
His hand rested against the door knob for several seconds before Carlisle forced back his fear and opened the door, allowing Esme to precede him into the room. Once the door latch clicked closed, Carlisle knew that there would be no turning back.
He motioned towards a chair encouraging Esme to sit. Once she was seated, he walked over towards his desk and leaned against it with his head bowed. He fidgeted as his nervousness came to the forefront of his emotions.
"I don't think a lecture is needed, Sweetheart. I have berated myself since the incident so I can promise you that I know well what I did wrong."
"Since I still don't feel that you have done anything wrong, I think that is a wise decision."
Carlisle took a breath then raised his head to allow his gaze to fall on his wife. "I have one request to make and then all further decisions are up to you. I will freely submit to your authority just grant me this one last wish."
"Carlisle, I will do anything for you. I thought the fact that I have already agreed to this would have proved that point."
He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "Esme, you said that you had the 'how' part of our arrangement under control and all you needed from me was the where and when. I would like a say in how this punishment is dealt if you will allow it."
"Of course, Carlisle."
When he opened his eyes, Esme found herself surprised by how dark they had become. She knew and understood him being nervous, but the level needed for his eyes to change that drastically was frighteningly excessive. "Carlisle?"
He quickly shook his head and held his hand out to placate her. "It's alright, Honey. I'm okay. It's just a really bad case of nerves because I don't know how to ask this."
Pushing off the desk he walked around behind it, fished in his pocket for his keys and opened the bottom most drawer.
"Esme, how are you planning …." Carlisle felt his courage falter, than cleared his throat with a soft cough. "What are you planning on spanking me with?"
"What do you mean, Carlisle? My hand of course, just like I would any of the children."
He shook his head. "I need you to be harsher with me, Love. I told you that I needed to be whipped like I whipped my boy."
"Emmett will be happy to attest to the harshness of my hand."
Esme sounded slightly offended, but worse was the amount of uneasiness Carlisle was able to detect in her tone. How am I going to get both of us through this, if I already have her this distraught with just my words?
"I am not questioning your ability, my love. I don't doubt for a moment that I would feel your effort." He slowly returned to her side and crouched down next to her chair. "My…experiences…make me a little different from my children. I need to really feel the punitive effects of what I'm asking for and submitting too." He took her hand gently in his and turned it palm side up. "I will never view this as a vehicle of punishment. Your hands have cared for and comforted me in my darkest times, Esme. Yes, they are capable of correcting, but I need for you to bring me past the point of tears for me to be able to release this poison plaguing me. Realistically, that will require a long and hard chastisement. I don't want you to be hurting as well, Sweetheart. I rather have your hands there to help pick me back up after."
His mate looked unconvinced. "I wouldn't know if I am hitting you too hard."
"I promise that I won't allow myself to be injured. I will give you feedback. You already read me better than anyone ever could. You will know."
"I've never… I just don't know, Carlisle."
"Esme, I trust you completely. Let my faith in you allow you to trust yourself. I am prepared to turn over all control to you. You can stop anytime you wish. Even if I haven't reached the point that I feel I need to; if you say it's over, it will be over. You will be in control of the situation and the implement. Use it at your discretion. You will hold all the cards, but please, Love, allow me to play just this one at the start."
The earnest expression on his face finally won Esme over. With a silent sigh she gave in. "Alright, Carlisle, but at my discretion. If I don't want to use it the entire time, you don't fuss about that."
He quickly agreed.
"What did you have in mind?"
Slowly he stood, feeling the butterflies in his stomach fluttering wildly, and returned to the far side of his desk. Pulling the drawer open, he withdrew a cloth wrapped package. Steadying his nerves, he freed the heavy saddle leather strap from its protective covering and let it uncurl to hang limply in his hand. The pungent scent of leather dressing filled the room from the recent care Carlisle had given the aged strip of hide, as he had put forth the effort needed to return the leather to a useable state.
He felt his body begin to quake as his father's punishment strap rekindled old fears. His body recalled every searing stroke that had ever landed on his helpless form. A lump of venom formed in his throat restricting his breathing which caused Carlisle to cough several times to clear his airway. His fingers gently traced the lingering blood stains that marred the light brown surface while his mind replayed snippets of memories that told their stories. Here in his hand was the physical embodiment of a demon that plagued his soul, but the patriarch knew that it had the power to redeem like no other. Perhaps dancing with it again after all these years would finally release Carlisle from his fear of the dreaded emblem of degradation.
Exhaling forcible he looked across the desk to where his lover sat with tears shining in her eyes. Esme's eyes were wide with shock as she glanced from her mate to the sinister strap, before locking on his blackened eyes. She couldn't do that. There was no way she could strike her husband with something that had brought him so much suffering. With a tear rolling down her face, Esme shook her head frantically as her lips formed a soundless, "No."
A quiet whimper rose from her throat as she held his gaze then whispered, "No, Carlisle. Don't ask me to use that. I…I can't do it. No. I won't use that torturous weapon that was responsible for so much abuse on anyone, let alone you. Don't do this to me. Don't put me in this situation. No, Carlisle. Not with that. I'm sorry, but my answer is no."
AN: Many thanks to everyone for all of the kind words and fantastic support. This was the chapter that just kept going. Carlisle is going to have to do some fancy talking if he is going to succeed this time. He seriously managed to shake poor Esme up this time. He should count himself lucky if she doesn't call the whole thing off. It's a good thing that Esme is a stronger person than she is often credited for being.
Thanks goes out to Splinter for making this easier for everyone to read.
Oh... and Rheavak, don't worry, wimp is not a word that I would ever equate with Carlisle. ;-)