Jason had gone straight to his room when Dick and he returned to the manor. Batman hadn't returned yet. Jason climbed into the bed in full Kevlar armor and tried to get some sleep. But even though his body was sore and aching, he couldn't. His mind was racing with the events that happened hours ago.
He sighed and got up, going downstairs to the kitchen. Dick had gone to bed, and Alfred was probably cleaning or sleeping, he really didn't know. Jason searched the kitchen for a while, and finally found it. Sweet sweet, bitter liquor. He poured himself a nice small glass of whiskey. He relaxed against the kitchen chair, and let the warm stinging liquid flow down his throat, and warm his entire body. He poured himself another glass, and then another. Jason loved liquor, it made the hard times easier. It made him momentarily forget all the madness in the world. For a few moments it made Jason feel at peace.
Jason was pouring his sixth glass of whiskey when he heard Bruce enter from the dining room. Jason heard the familiar three notes on the piano and heard the slam of the door to the hidden staircase. Bruce must've heard the pouring of liquor and clatter of glass against glass, because Bruce entered the kitchen and turned on the lights. He found Jason sitting at the kitchen table, drinking. Bruce said nothing, and opened a cabinet, grabbed a glass, and sat next to Jason. He motioned to the glass and Jason gave it to him. Bruce poured himself a glass, and handed the bottle back to Jason. The two just sat in the kitchen. Bruce finally spoke up.
"I'm proud of you Jay, you didn't kill him, and I know you desperately wanted to."
Jason turned and looked at Bruce, rolling his eyes at the nickname, "it took every ounce of willpower I had, and I don't even know why I listened to you or Dick."
"Because deep down Jason, you knew it wasn't the right thing to do."
Jason stared at Bruce, his surrogate father, the only real father he'd ever had in his pathetic excuse for a life. He thought awhile, and that wasn't it at all. He didn't kill Joker because it was the right thing to do. He refused to end the pathetic clown's life because he didn't want to disappoint his father again. He just stared at the half empty glass of whiskey in front of him.
"Bruce, I didn't kill that pathetic excuse for a life because it was right."
Bruce continued to stare down Jason; the liquor started doing its work, and Jason starting spewing out.
"I didn't kill Joker, because I didn't want to disappoint you again."
"Again Jason? You haven't disappointed me."
"Bullshit Bruce, I came back from the dead and started killing people in the name of justice, I'm pretty sure I'm worth shit to you. I don't understand why you are so goddamn nice to me. I keep disappointing you and I never live up to your expectations. I do not understand why you give me so many chances; you could have let me die the other night on the street. You could have walked away like you walked away when I handed you the gun to finish Joker."
Bruce wasn't surprised at the sudden outburst, Bruce knew the boy wasn't emotionally stable like he was, and the alcohol probably didn't help. Jason continued and he started yelling.
"I DO NOT NOR WILL I EVER UNDERSTAND, WHY YOU CARE SO MUCH FOR ME, I THINK YOU LIKE TO SEE HOW MUCH I'VE SCREWED UP MY PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A LIFE. I THINK YOU JUST FUCKING LOVE TO SEE ME SCREW UP MORE AND MORE EACH DAY. I'M SORRY BRUCE. I'M SO SORRY FOR LETTING YOU DOWN, FOR LETTING MYSELF DOWN. BUT I CAN'T HELP IT; THIS IS WHO I AM NOW. THERE'S NO GOING BACK AND I'M SCREWED. YOU SHOULD END MY LIFE RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE I'M ALREADY DEAD. I'M SO SORRY DAD."
Jason was crying by the end of his little "speech", Bruce had a swell of emotions when he heard Jay utter those words he had so hoped to hear come out of Jason's mouth for so long. "Dad", Bruce always knew Jason looked up to him as a father, and it was no secret that Bruce always thought of Jason as his son.
Bruce grabbed Jason by his neck and pulled him into his chest, and let the young man sob. Jason clutched onto Bruce's shirt. Jason kept repeating "sorry" over and over again. The boy was obviously intoxicated. Bruce rubbed his back.
"It's okay Jason, it's my fault. All of this is. I didn't get to you in time. I didn't save you from him. I should have. All of this is because of me and I'm sorry. But you made me so proud tonight. You did the right thing whether you realize it or not. We don't chose who lives and who dies. That's not up to us.
Jason held onto Bruce, whether he wanted to admit it or not, he needed the son of a bitch in this life. There was honestly no one else who cared nor who could put up with his bullshit.
"I don't blame you at all, even Batman makes mistakes, and I forgive you for not saving me."
Bruce held onto Jason tighter, he was never going to let him out of his sight; he was going to help the boy to the best of his ability.
The next morning Bruce woke up after carrying Jason to bed. He didn't want the boy trying to climb up the staircase drunk. It was almost noon. Dick had stayed in the guest room. Bruce went to Jason's room, and was unsurprised to find it empty. The billionaire sighed. He went into the room and saw a note left on the bed.
Bruce,
Don't try to look for me.
I'll be fine, and I appreciate everything you've done for me the past few days.
I need to figure out my life, and only I can do that.
I need some time to myself.
Tell Dick I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye
Hopefully I see you again someday soon.
-Jason Todd Wayne
Sounds like a decent ending right ? well i'm going to post one final chapter that has a more solid ending. I've enjoyed diving into the Batman universe and I've loved messing with and creating my own interpretation of Jason Todd. Thanks so much for the reviews and feedback, i truly appreciate it.