A/N: Okay. Seriously sorry for this being out so late. I have been crazy busy. I've had 3 shows I've been in and they have all overlapped. I also have had a lot of school work that I've had to deal with. I have ADD (not saying this for any reason other to explain) so it's hard for me to focus on school, which makes most school work difficult. See, I have this tendency to do my homework, not finish one problem, then not turn it in. Or not do it. Or do it all, think it's done so wrong I'll look stupid, and not turn it in. I'm learning to turn it in no matter what, but it's difficult. Damn perfectionism. Then I had finals and all that and I had practices for a fourth show. And one of my friends committed suicide before graduation which made things difficult. Things have been hectic. Anyway! I actually did write a 4th or 5th or, uh, whatever chapter...god it's been too long...a while back. My computer got infected, however, and I had to wipe it. Can you say bye bye chapter? I had to. Now, I did this most likely all in one night, so bear with me. I just wanted to work on it because I felt bad for neglecting this story so much.

Love all the reviews I got, you guys make me so happy. I'm glad you all like it. And, I'd just like to explain one thing.

Most football coaches are pretty strong. And Kurogane is in high school. Yeah, there are beefy guys, but I'm trying to be slightly realistic in this. And for those who believe that he wouldn't whine and say "Ooooh, boohoo, I'm helpless, waaaaaaah," he's not going to. Kurogane is a strong person, but that kind of thing can tear down even the strongest of walls. I'm not saying that Kurogane will be unaffected, but he's not going to be loud about it. Being raped as a man is almost like an attack at your masculinity and strength. Being overpowered and having something that horrible happen, being the victim, makes a man feel less confident about himself. Things are going to be different for Kurgy now, and he's not going to be sure about himself.

I wrote this to show that even the most feminine man can be strong, and even the most masculine can be frail. I'm not trying to offend anyone or the characters. Bad things happen, people.

To all who got this, love you even MORE. And, I give you a prize. A new chapter! **dorky grin**

**EDIT** So, I am finally getting back to this after having a heartfelt moment where I described everything and how I was finally getting back to this story, then falling through on that. Again, I have been busy. Because I am starting college this upcoming fall. SOOOO much work. I am accepted now, but I've also been in many shows. My October was CRAZY, I'm currently in 3 shows, recently finished a 4th, and today was the first time in MONTHS I've been at home for an afternoon during the week. So, I am finally getting back to this. I doubt anyone is counting on this, and honestly I'll probably rewrite it, but yeah. I wasn't scared off by negative comments. I'm just a lazy ass mofo who sucks at commitment.

Also, fun fact, only recently were men added to the definition of who could be raped. I was so angry, I couldn't think straight. Angry that it wasn't already included. But you don't want to get me started on my rant about feminism and sexism and how I want equality for all. I'm a feminist, but I do acknowledge that men don't have it easy either.

Fai was pissed. He couldn't stand it when his friend brushed him off or ignored him, especially when Fai could tell something was wrong. He knew Kurogane like the palm of his hand, the back had too many freckles, and there was something very, very wrong. It was lunch time for him and he whipped out his phone, fingers flying over the keys on his phone as he rapidly texted his best friend.

Kurogane jumped when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket and not so subtly slapped his hand to his thigh. His English teacher shot him a look, but shrugged it off when Kurogane just smiled awkwardly. Kurogane waited a moment, vaguely listening to the lecture, before pulling out his phone.

-So, asswipe, going to tell me what the hell that was about this morning?

Kurogane smiled a little, but it faded quickly. Of course Fai could tell there was something wrong. He knew his friend had noticed that this morning, but the boy had now gotten wind of the possible seriousness of it. It was troubling for Kurogane. Fai could read his expressions better than anyone else. He really wished that he couldn't right now. He hid his phone as the teacher turned around before texting back.

-I'm just grumpy. It's nothing.

Fai huffed, puffing out his cheeks. Kurogane couldn't seriously be trying to pass off the morning as grumpy. Kurogane was always grumpy. There was something different about him this time. He looked sickly and it worried Fai. The blonde stared at his phone, well aware that Kurogane didn't want to talk about feelings, especially his own. Kurogane was proud, almost too proud for his own good. Fai inhaled and closed his eyes, leaning his head back. If something was wrong, it made Kurogane feel weak, which meant the brunette wasn't going to talk about it. The corner of Fai's mouth twitched however and he flipped open his phone again, fingers flying over the keys.

-If it was nothing, you would have told me about it. It's obviously something.

Kurogane's nose wrinkled in annoyance. Fai was too nosy. And he knew Kurogane too well. That's what he got for making friends. Slipping his phone back in his pocket, Kurogane opted not to reply. At least not until class was over. Fai didn't need to know everything about his life. Fai didn't need to know everything about him. He was his friend, not his therapist.

Fai angrily went to French, ready to confront Kurogane about his elusiveness. He passed by a few boys from the football team and easily ignored their taunts. He sat down in his desk when he reached the room, waiting for the tall boy to enter. He never did. By now, Fai had his hands clenched in fists, a pencil shaking in his grip. He knew Kurogane hated talking about feelings, but he had never gone to this extent before. Fai shot out of the room like a bullet the minute the bell rang and looked for Kurogane the rest of the day, sending repeated texts to his friend.

-Where are you?

-Where ARE you?

-Why aren't you in French?

-Answer me.

-I'm getting angry, Kurgy-poo.

-Ok, really, where are you?

-Are you avoiding me?

-I'll find you.

-Kurogane, stop being childish.

-I'm really worried for you now. What is wrong?

Kurogane ignored Fai's texts, leaving his sleek phone in his pocket. He stared up at the sky, laying on the grass. He had seen his coach again and had frozen, fear overwhelming him. He had felt so small, so terribly small. He could remember the smirk that had been plastered on those lips so well. He had felt that smirk against his lips, skin. By the time he had calmed down, class was halfway over. Not feeling up to the rest of the day, he had ditched. He walked to the park near his house, grateful for the fresh air. He was sore all over and suddenly everything was as painful as it had been before. He stumbled, leaning against a trash can nearby for support. He closed his eyes and shook his head, trying to rid himself of the images floating around, screaming in his mind. Gripping the metal edge of the trash can, Kurogane breathed deeply, trying to calm down. Blue and blonde flashed through his mind and he relaxed for a moment before his stomach fell to his feet and he tensed again. Fai. Fai would never be able to see him the same. Kurogane was his rock, a solid he could depend on. Kurogane had always protected Fai when the teasing got to be more than the boy could handle. Fai had always, always told him how much he appreciated Kurogane's strength. How much he appreciated his support. How could Fai depend on him? He couldn't even save himself. He couldn't even fight back. He couldn't do anything. He didn't do anything. Where did that leave him? Where did that leave Fai? Kurogane pushed away from the trash can and stumbled to a grassy area under a tree, laying there until he fell asleep. The buzzing of the phone in his pocket is what had awoken him and he knew it was Fai. He checked for the time and saw numerous missed messages which he opted to ignore. He felt his phone continue to go off, but again found himself not caring. His heart was heavy and he need to sleep. School was over now, so he was safe to go home. He didn't care if he got hounded about skipping. He would just spout some lame excuse. Maybe he would get grounded and wouldn't have to see Fai.

Fai waited for Kurogane for half an hour before giving up and heading home. His anger had turned to worry before finally turning to sadness. Maybe he was avoiding him. What would have gotten Kurogane so worked up? Did someone tell him that Fai liked him? Was he feeling awkward about it? Dread filled up in Fai's stomach as he pondered that possibility. He wrapped his arms around himself, wishing he knew what was wrong with Kurogane. Pausing in his journey home, he switched directions. He kept his head up, making his way to Kurogane's house. He wasn't going to let this slide. He needed to know what was upsetting his friend. He needed to fix it. He couldn't let Kurogane be unhappy. Kurogane didn't deserve that.

Kurogane lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. His head swam, constantly going under without enough breath to stay there. He was drowning in his thoughts and just wanted it all to stop. He shed his clothes, avoiding looking at himself in the mirror before turning on the shower. He stepped in, grabbed a bar of soap and a cleansing brush, turned up the heat of the water, and set out to clean himself. His tanned skin reddened at the intense scrubbing, a few welts popping up with scratches that bled, the tiny bulbs of red washing away under the hot water. Kurogane closed his eyes, practicing more breathing exercises. They calmed him enough that he could think halfway clearly. He began to calm down, the shame in him beginning to shrink when he heard his mother call up the stairs.

"Honey! Fai is here to see you!"

With those few words the shame returned, tenfold. Kurogane choked out a noise he was surprised to have made and he shut off the water, rushing out of the bathroom, towel drying his hair as he jumped into a pair of briefs and sweatpants. He grabbed a long sleeved shirt, tossing that on as well. He rolled the sleeves up to three-quarters before heading downstairs, part of him wanting to see the person who made him feel so calm, so much more like himself, another part of him not wanting to see the person who made him wish he had been stronger. He swallowed and walked into the kitchen, barely able to acknowledge the blonde before Fai had enveloped him in an embrace. Kurogane stiffed and pushed Fai away. Fai stared up at him, hurt blending with confusion in the blue eyes. Kurogane stared at him, letting a flicker of fear and shame mar his face before he went back to his usual disgruntled look. Fai took his hand, holding it gently, doing nothing more. The two wandered up to Kurogane's room silently. Kurogane stared at Fai, who stared back. Fai opened his mouth to say something and Kurogane's heart prickled. He didn't want to hear anything from Fai, so he did the first thing he could think of. He leaned forward and kissed Fai. The blonde froze before easily melting into the kiss. Kurogane's mind flashed, DANGER repeating in his mind, but he didn't stop. He needed this. He needed to feel better. He needed to feel strong. He needed to be in charge. Fai would let him.

But what on earth was he getting himself into.