A/N: College started. Busy. Homework. Midterms coming up. Lazy fuck. If anyone STILL reads this, I want to meet you and give you a hug because holy shit I would have given up. Also, I am updating the story. Going back and rewriting it. So things may be added in and what not. Rewrote the first chapter, but thought I should finish this chapter first then go back and rewrite.
Fai pulled back, looking Kurogane in the eye. At least, he tried to. His friend wouldn't look up, his breathing short. The blonde reached out for his friend, who pulled away sharply, almost falling off the bed. Fai pulled his hand back, eyes widening before narrowing.
"Kurogane, please tell me why you did that." The blonde watched his friend, who didn't move or say a word. Fai waited for a response, but the brunette didn't budge. He didn't move, didn't speak, didn't explain himself. Fed up, the tall blonde stood. "If that's all you wanted to do, kiss me and then act like I fucking raped you or-."
"SHUT UP!" Fai startled and the anger in Kurogane's voice. The young man stood, shoving Fai against the wall. "You think I'd ever let anyone-you or anyone-do that? I'm not weak! I'm not fucking weak!" Fai struggled against his friend, coughing a little. "Only faggots let that happen to them!"
"What the hell?!" Fai shoved Kurogane away, furious. "I didn't say you were weak you asshole! I'm sorry for insulting your manhood! And, if I recall the other day correctly, or just now for that matter, you are a faggot! You like men, you like having sex with men, you like kissing men-" Fai's sentence was cut off when Kurogane tackled him. The two wrestled, punches being thrown and kicks lashing out. There was a cry for help and suddenly hands were pulling the two apart. Kurogane's eyes were flashing, anger and pain reflecting in the brown. Fai glared, wiping his bloody nose.
"Fai honey, do you want some Kleenex?" Kurogane's mother held out some tissues, worry etched on her face. Kurogane's father was talking with his son. Fai looked at her, then at the two men, before standing.
"I think I should just go. I'm obviously not wanted here right now. See you at school, Kurogane." Fai stalked out. He could feel Kurogane watching him as he left the room, but couldn't find it in himself to care. He was so angry. Angry with Kurogane. Angry that he kissed him. Angry that he was so touchy. Angry that he punched him. But he was also angry with himself for kissing and punching back. Something was obviously wrong and as he entered his house he realized he may have not helped. He may have made the situation much worse.
Kurogane couldn't believe himself. He couldn't believe Fai. He just couldn't believe. Everything had been going fine until Fai pulled away and opened his big mouth. Why did Kurogane have to explain? They were friends. Friends could kiss friends. Kurogane held his head, groaning quietly. His parents had finally left him alone and he felt worse than ever. Staring at the wall, he knew he should be grateful that Fai pulled away. It wasn't like he wasn't aware it was a bad thing to do. Kurogane growled and kicked the wall. He then stood, pacing. He did push-ups, sit-ups, chin-ups, anything he could to calm his mind. His room smelt of sweat when he finally collapsed onto his bed again. Exhausted, Kurogane fell asleep and did not wake until dinner.
School was awkward. Kurogane was sporting a terrible black eye and Fai had a spilt lip, his nose even looking a little crooked. They avoided each other, afraid to confront the other. Tomoyo took it into her own hands.
"You need to talk to him," she said. Two pairs of eyes locked, one quickly looking down. Tomoyo sighed. "If you don't talk you will miss lunch." Silence. Finally, Fai spoke up.
"I'm sorry for upsetting you. I don't know what upset you, but I'll think about it and then I won't do it again." Fai's voice was soft and Kurogane felt a little better.
"Don't. I overreacted. I'm sorry. Your nose still looks good." Only awkward silence met the compliment. The two boys stood and walked away. Tomoyo didn't stop them.
Fai found himself thinking about what could have upset Kurogane. He tried to think about what he said. He tried to think about how it would connect to how Kurogane had been acting. Nothing seemed to fit. Fingers tangled in blonde hair as Fai wracked his brain to figure what had gone wrong. Maybe Kurogane didn't want to kiss him. Maybe he had misread the kiss. But how does one even do that? Fai cursed under his breath, not so gently pulling his fingers out of his hair. Closing his eyes, Fai went over it again. After a moment his eyes snapped open. Suddenly everything began to fit together. Fai gasped for air, gripping his stomach. He ran to the bathroom, ignoring his brother's yells, and threw up in the toilet. He gagged, choking on the air he breathed. He felt sick. So sick. He hoped he was wrong.
Kurogane glared at the woman in front of him. It had been a few weeks since he and Fai had fought. Though convinced they had at least worked something out, Kurogane hadn't seen his friend in a while. Whenever he did see him he was going into the counselor's office. Now, he found himself called down to talk to the same woman Fai had been talking to. He shifted in his seat, looking away.
"Is there a reason I am here?" Kurogane tried to make his voice as rough as possible.
"There is someone who is worried about you, Kurogane." Ginryuu laced her fingers together as she spoke. "They are worried something bad happened to you."
"Well they're wrong. Can I go now?" Kurogane really didn't like where this was going.
"No. Is there something wrong, Kurogane? Did something happen to you?" She tried to be as gentle as she could with him.
"Nothing happened to me, ok? Tell this someone that he should come talk to me if he is so worried."
"Kurogane, he's worried about you."
"Why? Because I just came out and get teased now? He's dealt with it his whole life. I can fucking deal with it too! I'm not weak."
"Nobody said you were."
"Well I'm not. I'm not weak and I can handle this."
"Can you?"
"Why is he so worried? He should be more worried about himself!"
"He is afraid something very bad happened to you, Kurogane."
"Oh like what?!"
"He thinks you might have been raped, Kurogane." Ginryuu lowered her voice, eyes locked onto Kurogane. The boy froze, pupils dilating. "Kurogane?"
"He's wrong." He shook, terrified and angry at the same time.
"I don't think he is."
"Well he is!" Kurogane yelled, trying to make it all stop.
"Kurogane!" Ginryuu's voice demanded silence and obedience. Kurogane stared at her. "If something happened, I want to help you. You can deny it to him all you want, but I want you to tell me the truth. You can tell him when you are ready. But I need to know who did this. I need to know so they won't do it to anyone else."
"I..." Kurogane's throat went dry and he shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Then at least tell me. Tell me with your own words what happened. That's all I need right now. I cannot just assume. I need you to tell me."
"I was..." Kurogane could feel himself shrinking. He could feel the shame overwhelming him. He was disgusted with himself. He just wanted things to be normal.
"If you tell me, I can help. Things will not be the same, but I can damn sure try to make them as close as possible." Kurogane locked eyes with her, his breathing quickening. He was on the verge of a panic attack.
"I was raped," Kurogane whispered, panic gripping him. He tried to shove it down, gasping for breath. He heard voices, but everything was muffled. The only thing he could hear clearly was his heart and how fast it was beating. Then everything went black.