DISCLAIMER: I do not own glee, any of the characters or songs mentioned in this story.

Hey, guys! I'm really sorry. It's been a while since I last updated, but I have an excuse: I just got accepted into the university of my dreams and had to drive there to get all the formalities over with, and currently spend a lot of time looking for somewhere to live there. Also, I had a huge writer's block on this story and therefore it was a lot easier to continue my other multi-chapter story whenever I sat down in front of my laptop.

It's only now that I feel so guilty I can't postpone updating this anymore. I just had to write something for you guys, and, quite honestly, I don't think there's anything worse than a discontinued story.

I'm afraid this chapter is not as good as the previous ones, but it'll keep the story rolling.

Of Mothers And Mums

- Chapter 5 -

Jealousy

Ever since she had sent the letter, she had woken up half an hour earlier than usual every morning just to check her e-mails. When she had none, or at least not the one she desired, she would lean back in her chair, exhausted and disappointed, contemplating whether she really had chosen the right words over and over again. What if she hadn't? What if she had screwed up her possibly only chance of contacting her biological parents? What if they weren't interested?

Her Mum had noticed the difference in Beth's behavior, the almost violent mood swings, and she had of course known the reasons. She had reassured her adoptive daughter that she was certain Quinn and Noah would want to contact her and that she didn't need to worry. Shelby seemed so convinced of the fact that they would eventually write her that she really managed to calm Beth down time and time again, but these calm moments rarely lasted and a few hours later, the teenager would be as restless as before. She got more anxious with every day that passed.

It wasn't until Thursday that she was finally relieved of her worries. She'd jumped out of bed the instant the alarm she'd set on her cell phone went off – after her phone call to Rachel, she'd downloaded the song "Beth" instantly, and was woken by it every morning from then on. She went straight to her desk, as she had done the days before, switched her computer on, opened her e-mail inbox and scanned its content eagerly. Unlike the previous days, however, she didn't slam her laptop shut in frustration after she'd completed the procedure.

Instead, her gaze rested on a single line that said she had a message from Quinn Fabray. She just stared at the screen, frozen, for what must have been several minutes. Then, as if she suddenly remembered that there must be a content to the message as well, her hand shot towards the touch pad and she clicked to open the e-mail, almost missing the right link in her excitement and accidentally opening the spam mail above instead. Almost.

The e-mail her biological mother had sent her opened and Beth started reading it aloud to herself, savoring every single word.

Dear Beth,

You have no idea how grateful I was for the letter you sent. I don't even know how to express everything I feel for you, let alone convey it through an e-mail.

You said that you wanted to hear the reasons I gave you up for adoption from me. What Shelby told you is essentially true: I was a teenager; I couldn't have raised a child back then. But, more importantly, I was a scared little girl whose life had been shaken upside down from one day to the other. I wanted my life back. I had been kicked out of the cheerios; people who used to part like the red sea when I walked down the hallways ignored me, or worse, started bullying me. I wouldn't have this happen to anyone.

Don't get me wrong: I don't regret you. I'm sure Rachel has told you that my pregnancy has changed me for the better, she always does that. And, in a way, she's right. Without knowing it, you have changed me. I could be terrible in high school; I probably was one of the bitchiest girls around. (Rachel has told you that, too, hasn't she?) Being pregnant with you made me realize how fragile my position as the most popular girl in school was, and that very few of the people I'd believed to be my friends really liked me for who I am. They were very quick to abandon me after I "fell". That way, I found some real friends, and I believe I became a better person.

I'm telling you that so you can see how much you influenced me already. I do not, and did not ever, regret giving you to Shelby, though. I'm sure she has been an amazing Mum to you, and while I had small doubts about my decision every now and then, especially when I was still in High School, I know that it was ultimately the right thing to do.

I missed you nevertheless, throughout all the years. Knowing that there's a piece of you, of your life out there, a piece that you can't reach …

That's why I'm so glad you reached out to me now. I have already talked to Rachel, and I now she has given you my phone number. Feel free to call me anytime you want to, I would love to hear your voice – my schedule is ever changing, I can't tell you today at what times I have to be at the theatre next week, so I guess you just have to give it a try if you feel like it. If you're not ready for that yet, you can of course simply write an answer to this e-mail, too.

What I would love even more is to meet you in person. Sadly, I don't think I will get an opportunity to visit Lima in the next few months. That's why I would like to make a suggestion: If you want to, you and Shelby can visit me in L.A. as soon as you feel ready to do that. I don't want to pressure you into anything; the decision is up to you.

Love,

Quinn

Beth found herself racing into the kitchen where she knew her Mum would have her obligatory morning coffee. She practically crashed through the door and found Shelby leaning against the counter, a knowing smile on her lips. "So they wrote?" Beth's Mum asked without really expecting an answer.

"No, not they …" Beth paused, contemplating why it was only Quinn and not Noah, but refused to let that drag her down right now. "She wrote." She corrected Shelby's question, grinning widely.

"What did she say?" Shelby asked, putting her coffee mug down next to her.

"Basically that she loves me, misses me, and wants to have contact with me." Beth blurted out. "At least that was what I took from her words. Oh, and she suggested that I could visit her in L.A. someday." She knew that she was sounding like an overexcited five-year-old who had just discovered the most magnificent sweet store in the world where she got everything for free. But then again, that pretty much summed up how she felt, too.

She watched her Mum wring her hands in a nervous gesture. "Don't you think it's a little too early for that?"

"Well, it doesn't have to be right away." Beth defended. "And I'd sure like to meet her … someday." She added, thinking about how she had even been too scared to call them right away and written a letter instead.

Shelby's face instantly settled back into a relaxed expression, but Beth had noticed how upset she had been at the mention of her visiting L.A. She's nervous. Huh.

"She invited the both of us, you know." Beth said calmly. "Not just me."

Shelby nodded. "I think that's for the best. I wouldn't want you to be on your own in a city like that even if your … your mother is there." The last words sounded a little too forced, and when Shelby's eyes met Beth's with a look that was full of doubt, she understood.

So that's what this is all about. She thinks that Quinn is some kind of competition to her.

"You know that I love you, don't you?" Beth said out of nowhere. "You raised me, you have been the most important part of my life for as long as I can remember. There's no one in the world who can compete with that." She finished with a genuine smile, which, as she hoped, would convince Shelby that she had nothing to worry about.

"I know." But the smile on her Mum's face lasted a little to short and failed to reach her eyes.

How the hell had this happened? How was it even possible that the woman who had raised you, your Mum, was jealous of another woman you didn't even know yet?

God, this would be the perfect material for a bad sitcom. Beth thought, not willing to contemplate the situation she had gotten herself into – no, she had been dragged into – right now.

"I'm already late." Beth stated, glancing at the clock that hang above the kitchen door. "I'd better get into the shower."

"Did your dads ever get upset?" Beth asked. She'd called Rachel as soon as she had gotten home, knowing that Shelby would probably still be at some other house teaching vocal lessons. There was no way her Mum could overhear this conversation.

"Of course they did. They got upset when I stayed out late, when I sang in the shower until our neighbors threatened to sue our asses, or when I got engaged at the age of eighteen, just to name a few. I don't think any of this is what you are talking about."

"No, it's not. But I know what you mean by singing until your neighbors threaten to sue you part. And you had your own house. We just have an apartment in a house full of apartments with plenty of neighbors to complain." Beth couldn't help but smile. "I was talking about something different though." She said, returning to the serious topic she wanted to approach as she sat down on her bed and leaned back against the headboard. "What I wanted to ask is if they ever got upset after you got to know Shelby. In a jealous kind of way."

Rachel remained silent for some time on the other end of the line. "I don't think they did." She finally said. "But the whole thing is kind of different."

"In how far?"

"Well, I first met Shelby in my sophomore year when she was the coach of Vocal Adrenaline, a neighboring rival glee club. She was looking for me then, but she also had a contract with my dads that prohibited her to contact me before I turned eighteen. So she sort of made me contact her without talking to me herself." The tone in Rachel's voice kept Beth from asking how her mother had managed to do that, although she was fairly curious. Instead, she let Rachel continue, "When I found her, we tried to establish some kind of mother-daughter-relationship, but failed miserably. I think she was just disappointed that I wasn't her baby anymore."

Beth took in a deep breath as she remembered that that was about the time she had been adopted by Shelby. She used me to replace Rachel. The baby she'd lost.

The older girl was obviously oblivious to the turmoil that was going on inside of Beth, because she continued to talk without the slightest pause.

"So we parted ways then, and there was nothing to be jealous about for my dads. She then came back in my senior year as a teacher at my school. All I was concerned with back then was getting into NYADA, and she helped me a lot with that, seeing that she had experience with auditions and New York. That was the first time we really clicked. After I'd taken off to New York, we spoke to each other on the phone almost every day. She had already taken all the steps that lay in front of me back then, and helped me take them as well. Our lives were so similar that we got really close just through that."

"And were your dads jealous when that happened?" Beth asked after Rachel had finished.

"I don't think so. If so, they never showed any of it." Rachel laughed. "It's not like Shelby could fill a typical mother's role after I'd graduated. She was like an educator whom I got really close to, and later, a good friend. On top of that, I didn't already have a Mum whom she had to compete with." Rachel added, half-joking.

If only you knew that this is the exact problem here. Beth thought, but kept her mouth shut. As she had done before, the night Beth had learned about her biological parents, Rachel had let her a lot deeper into her personal life than could be expected, and she was to be grateful for that.

"Thanks for the advice, Rach." Beth said honestly.

"No problem." Rachel answered. "Anyways, since were already talking, I thought you might be interested that I'll be visiting next week."

"Visiting?" Beth echoed, shocked. "But Mum didn't say anything …"

"No, not at your place. Mr. Shue invited me to come and help him a little with the New Directions. Motivate them, you now. I haven't told Shelby yet, but I'm sure I'll come over to your place to have dinner or something, too. Then we can really talk about all the stuff that's going on in your life." Rachel said, and Beth hated the sound of the words. She knew Rachel wanted to be helpful, but this was not what she wanted. She didn't want Shelby's biological daughter around. Not now that she knew.

"Sounds great." Beth lied. "Bye." She hang up without waiting for Rachel's voice to repeat the last word she'd said.

Apparently, she was the one to get jealous now. And there was no way she could help it.

So, that's it for now. No, I haven't forgotten about Puck, but he's just not ready to contact Beth yet. While we're talking about him, I'd like to quote a review about Puck in the last chapter by "Ali" that almost had me crack up: "Aw, he acts like such a badass, but he's a big ol' softie on the inside. Like a container of play-doh. Think about it."

Hope all of you who actually took the time to read this author's note enjoyed it as much as I did. And now go review!