Schadenfreude Chapter 5: Dinner with the pack, a twilight fanfic

"I think you still love me, but we can't escape the fact that I'm not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I'm not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I'm not angry, either. I should be, but I'm not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong."
― Haruki Murakami,
South of the Border, West of the Sun

VERSE]
We all got lonely days
Get stuck in a phase
I can see the sun is shining bright
Right on through the haze
I complain and say
Is this really my life
Now that I'm over you and I'm sober too
I can finally feel alive

[PRE-CHORUS]
But I won't give you my heart
Cuz it don't break twice
Just to let you know let you know
And if you play the part
And play it real nice
Maybe I'll let go
I'll let go

[CHORUS]
I'm sure you'll tell me
Anything under the sun
Like how you think
I'm special and the only one
Cuz normally I'd probably
Just get up and run
But you're looking
So damn good to me under the sun
[VERSE]
Are we on the same page
Don't need to play
All these games just to get a little
Feel the sunshine on my face
And I got paid today
Is this really my life
Now that I'm over you and I'm sober too
I can finally feel alive

[VERSE]
Well do ya get do ya get what I need
(Na na na nah na na)
Could you show me something
That I want to see
(Na na na nah na na)
And maybe you could get underneath
(Na na na nah na na)
If you watch the sun go down on me
(Na na na nah na na) Go down on me

RPOV

"Are you nervous?"

Looking up at Will, I bit my lip as he turned to me – a smile coming over his lips. "Not really – shouldn't I be asking you that question?"

I scoffed. "Will, you haven't seen her in four years."

"Five," He corrected, and I rolled my eyes.

"Five, then," I said as the car turned down a long, dirt drive and I ran a hand through my hair as I flicked down the mirror, biting my lip as I saw that nearly all of the swelling had gone down.

I said nearly.

I still looked like a fucking freak.

I sighed, leaning back in my seat as I fidgeted with my necklace – trying to remain calm and not spill my stomachs contents. I don't know why I was so nervous – Will wasn't nervous, and he hadn't seen the woman since he was twenty two, for gods sakes! I looked over to Will, my teeth biting into my lip as I wondered how he could be so calm.

I turned my head back, reminding myself to focus on the road in front of us and I breath out a breath as I tried to go through what I was going to say to her, to Emily.

Will hadn't talked about her, Emily, for as long as he could avoid her and up until last year it seemed that his youngest system had remained aloof from our whole relationship – he never spoke about her, and whenever I raised the issue, it was like cleaning the shower seemed so much more interesting then talking about her.

Until last year.

As soon as Will introduced me to his parents, Emily was the thing that his parents seemed to talk about – 'Why won't you ring Emily?', 'She says you're not returning her phone calls', 'It was five years ago, for gods sakes, it wasn't any of your business in the first place'.

To say the least, it was confusing.

I felt Will grab my hand as the car stopped, and I looked to him – giving him the most reassuring smile I could muster up. I squeezed his hand, and I opened the door, getting out of the car as Kate parked behind us – the sound of Claire screaming made me narrow my eyes through the darkness as I saw Erin grab onto Claire, throttling the small six year old that wailed, calling for Quilly.

That fucking abductor better not be here.

I tightened my jacket, and I looked to Will who was locking the door to the car – looking up to the house. A light was flickering on and off on the porch, lighting up the outside slightly as moths flew into it yet even if that light wasn't there, I would still be able to see with the amount of light that was coming out of every window.

I wiped my hands of the sweat that glistened on them, and yes, I know that sweat would be considered impossible in these temperatures, yet I swear on the life of those stupid fish Will calls pets that I was sweating. I bit my lip as I felt my heart pound against my chest, blood rushing to my head and I could hear it rushing through my ears like cars rushing through an intersection.

Will came around the car, giving me a small smile and I instantly knew that he was trying to cover up the fact that he was shitting himself and my eyebrows furrowed as I grabbed his hand – leaning against him as I put my hand on his chest. "Will? Are you okay?"

"Slightly shitting myself," He murmured, and I smiled – patting his chest. "What about you, elephant man?"

I rolled my eyes, smacking his chest. "You will regret that, asshole."

He smirked, patting my ass. "You're a hot elephant man."

"That's still not a compliment!" I hissed, and Kate came – Erin's hand in hers as Claire bounced up the stairs and opened the door, laughing as someone came and scooped her up in their arms.

I cleared my throat that had lodged itself in the deepest parts of my throat, and I looked down at what I was wearing – wondering whether or not I should have gone with the dress instead of jeans. I then shook my head at the thought: a dress? In this weather? I would go back to Seattle with no legs because of frostbite.

My head snapped to Will as I heard his chest rise and fall, his breath coming out slightly rushed and I gave his hand a reassuring squeeze – just to remind him that he had someone else in this place, someone to keep him company at least. I looked back up to the house, licking my freeing lips that I'm sure would be blue by the time that we entered the house and I stepped up to the porch, pulling Will up with me.

I put a small smile on my face as I stepped through the open doorway, looking around at the buzzing entrance. The house was an open floor plan – living room, an informal dining room and the kitchen were all together, the kitchen separated only by a thin wooden wall that had almost, well, dents in it – like someone had punched the wood in.

The house exuded warmth, mainly due to the fireplace that burned in the back of the living room, but it seemed, almost, to be radiating off of all the bodies that were crammed into the house. As soon as I stepped through the doorway, I was hit with the sounds of playful chatter – shouting, and laughter all intertwined within the buzz that encompassed the room. I felt the artificial smile that I had placed on my lips dissipate as the smell of turkey hit my nose – turkey and potatoes.

And then I was hit.

Letting out a surprised gasp, my body became rigid and stiff as the arms tightened around me. And then suddenly they were off me, and I was free from the constraint that had tackled me before. "Oh," I let out, breathless as all the breath that I had sucked in from outside had been pushed out of me by the person that … hugged me.

"Oh, I'm sorry-sorry," The girl rushed out, and I looked at her – my jaw dropping as I saw Emily.

Wills sister.

But … she wasn't.

Huge scars plagued her once pretty face, and although she was beaming, it seemed the scars altercated her face in every way. I hadn't been expecting this – I mean, sure, Will had told me that his sister had been attacked by a bear but he had never, he never said that it was this …. huge.

I couldn't not stare at them.

There was three of them, all clawed across her face and altered her features, making one side droop slightly. I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't … this – I didn't think she would be this, well, damaged. I tried not to stare, I really did, but it was Will who essentially shook me out of the trance. I smiled at the still beaming Emily, and she seemed to become brighter even more as she glanced at Will, as if she was asking for permission or something like that. The room had grown silent, and it seemed that all focus was on us.

I was feeling a bit sick.

"Will told me about you, Rosalind, right?" She asked, her voice elated and filled to the brim with excitement.

I had yet to speak, and I looked to Will for inspiration, hoping that he might do something that would un-lodge my voice from my mouth. I nodded, wondering whether or not I should outstretch my hand for her to shake, or go in for another hug but I wasn't going to do either of those because I'm pretty sure I was paralysed. "Yes,"

I'm pretty sure I heard Will sigh with relief as he heard me speak, and internally – I was dancing at the fact that I had finally spoken to her. I nodded again, offering her a smile – the only thing, really, I could offer her. "Please, don't call me Rosalind – it's a name my mother gave me to inflict pain on me whenever someone says it, so Rose will be fine."

She laughed, her cheeks flushing and she fidgeted in her spot – like she wanted to make a move to hug me again but she didn't know if she was allowed to do that or not.

And then she looked down at my hand.

Her eyes went wide, and a smile spread across her face as she grabbed my hand – gently and lovingly, almost. She looked up to Will, her whole face contorting in almost supressed pain as she let go of my left hand. "I didn't know you gave her Grandma's ring."

Will nodded stiffly. "Well, she's going to wear it for the rest of her life – seemed fitting."

Emily nodded awkwardly, biting her lip as she looked to Will. "Can I talk to you outside?"

Will wrapped an arm around my waist, his lips pressing against my ear. "Go meet Emily's fiancé,"

I nodded, and Will let go of me – pointing me in the direction of Emily's fiancé, who, may I add, was fucking huge. His shoulders were so broad that I'm sure it was two of me combined, and I'm not that skinny, unfortunately, but that's what eating five blocks of dark chocolate last week does to me – puts fat my ass. Almost as if he could hear the whisper Will had just sent my way, he turned around, and I felt the breath leave me as I saw the accomplice of the man who tried to abduct Claire. He nervously smiled at me, rubbing the back of his neck as if he was trying not to anger me more and as I approached him, he thrust out his hand and offered it to me – as if we hadn't met before.

But this time, I wasn't on the ground in pain.

Well, not now at least.

"You-"

He smiled, grasping my hand. "Yeah. I'm Sam Uley, Em-Emily's fiancé."

I gave him an exasperated smile as I shook his hand. "And I'm, well, I'm Wills fiancé."

The tight smile that was on his face slowly faded as we stood in an awkward silence, yet our hands was still shaking one another. After a while, I felt the sweat that was already coating my hand start to run down my arm and I let go of the hand as I felt my hand burning as I wiped the sweat on my jeans again.

"You're … hot." I said as I looked down at my hands, and he nodded.

"Yeah – I get that a lot," He murmured as he looked around the room before looking back at me. "Your face looks, uhm, better."

I scoffed. "Stop lying, I look like the fucking elephant man."

Sam looked to me as a small smile spread across his face, as if he was trying to supress a laugh. I smiled, before I turned back to the door – hoping that Will would save me from this situation yet I could still see him and Emily standing outside on the porch, their figures barely detectable against the dark backdrop. "So, how long have you been dating Will?"

"Three years," I said, turning back to Sam. "You?"

"Five years," He said, taking a drink of his beer and I laughed.

"Excited about being tied down for the rest of your life?" I asked, cocking a brow.

He smiled, his face lighting up like I had just told him that he had won the lottery and I was now going to show him my breasts. He nodded, and I had to smile his happiness was so contagious. "I can't wait."

"Can't wait for the bachelor's night!" Some guy said as they patted him on his shoulder, their smile matching Sam as he looked at me - outstretching his hand as he gave me a cheeky, almost flirtatious grin. "Embry Call, at your beck and call, my lady."

I laughed, taking his hand. "Rose Dormer, and if my fiancé heard you talking like that he would rip off you're balls."

Embry scoffed, pushing out his chest. "Doubtful."

I chuckled, letting go of his hand. "So, are all of you on steroids?"

They looked to me, stunned, before Embry burst into laughter and patted my shoulder – a beaming smile coming over his face as a couple of spurts of fading laughter escaped him. "Oh, you're going to be fun."

Sam glared at Embry, and with that small glare – Embry's hand dropped from my shoulder yet the playful grin still stayed on his face. I doubted that if a meteor plummeted into La Push the grin would leave his face, even then. Sam cleared his throat, bringing my attention back to him and I licked my bottom lip as I tried to warm it up. "So, Emily said you were in College?"

I nodded. "Yeah – I'm studying history."

I felt a hand wrap around my waist, squeezing it lightly and I looked up to see Will. "Yeah – Rose transferred from Cambridge."

"That would explain the accent," Emily said, smiling as she joined Sam who wrapped his arm around her – pulling her close to his body.

Embry looked to me, his eyes wide. "You're British?"

I nodded, about to open my mouth when Embry bowed, the most forced British accent I had ever heard exiting his mouth. "Good evening, Govna!"

I forced a smile on my face. "Ha-ha, you're hilarious."

"So, how did you meet?" Emily asked.

Will broke out in a smile. "Her Dad's my boss."

"Your fathers a lawyer?" Emily asked, and I nodded, before correcting her.

"He was one," I said, nodding.

Emily raised one eyebrow "Oh? What does he do now?"

I shrugged. "I don't know – I don't talk to him."

"Why don't you talk to your dad?" Embry asked, and I swear every eye in the room turned to him and glared at him like he had just unleashed the plague on the room.

Will tensed at my side, and I knew he was becoming pissed.

Another guy came out from the kitchen, carrying a small baby who he handed to his wife – a small, beautiful women with her raven hair swept up, and her russet skin glowing as she took her baby out of her husband's arms, giving him a small smile. "Embry, you fuckward, you can't just ask people why they don't speak to their dads."

Embry glared at the man. "Fuck off, Paul."

He turned back to me, cocking a brow. "So, why don't you?"

Silence.

I bit my lip, before opening my mouth to tell him to fuck off when someone interrupted me. "Ah, Jacob Black, you decided to come."

"It wasn't like I had a choice," Someone grumbled, and I turned around – the voice that had come from that person making my whole body come alive, and out of the half frozen state it was in before.

Every hair stood up on my body as I looked to the man who was wheeling someone through the door, an older Native American who wore a dark cowboy hat and an infectious smile as he greeted Emily who came to give the older man a kiss. The man that was pushing him was huge – bigger than the rest of them; bigger than Sam, even.

He had long hair which was tied behind his back, and was shining in health. His hands were clenched around the older mans wheelchair as he narrowed his eyes, looking around the room until his eyes stopped on mine.

And then I remembered him.

How could I not? His eyes had captivated me, eyes which I had felt were so beautiful – so full of everything life had to offer, so full of …. mystery. His skin glistened from the rain, and I wondered how something so simple could be so purely and utterly beautiful. His white dress shirt he was wearing was partially wet, and clung to his chiselled chest – every abb visible as he let go of his father's wheelchair.

His mouth was slightly open, as if he was about to say something yet couldn't get it out. In that moment, I was yearning to hear what would leave his mouth – I wanted to hear the sound of his voice, which I'm sure, was just as beautiful as everything else about him. I caught his stare once again as I started to imagine what he sounded like, and I felt all the breath that I had in me leave me in a sort of sigh, mixed between a gasp.

He was just so nice to look at.

And then I felt Will squeeze my hand.

Flushing with embarrassment, I looked up to Will – giving him a small smile that was so artificial I was scared he would notice.

Scared he would notice who I was staring at.

I put my hand on his chest, wanting to distract myself from Jacob. Oh, even his name made me feel warm – it fit him so perfectly that it annoyed me how perfect it was.

"Are you okay?" Will murmured, and I felt the smile wipe off my face as I wondered if Will had noticed my staring – if he noticed how absorbed I was in Jacob. But then, as my eyes met with the concerned dark eyes I had been in love with for the past three years, I realised he was talking about what Embry had just asked me – about my father.

I nodded, re-adjusting my necklace. "Yeah, fine."

I felt his hand pat my back, and I reached up and lightly pressed my hand to his cheek before I turned back to Emily, dropping my hand. "Do you mind if I get a water?"

She smiled, nodding as she led me into the kitchen which was bustling with three women – an older woman who had her raven hair tied up and an apron tied around her waist was juggling between stirring sauce, turning the oven to the proper heat and holding a rambunctious toddler in her arms. Another woman was carefully prying away the aluminium foil from some sort of hot dish, while another girl with chopper, chin length locks sat at the window – picking her nails.

"Rose, this is Sue, Kim and Leah. Guys, this is Wills fiancé."

Sue turned away from what she was doing, and smiled so big I thought she was going to combust. "Oh, look at you! Wills done well! I would hug you, but- Oh, Beth, stop pulling my hair!"

I flushed, while Leah, the girl with shoulder length hair, scoffed as she stood up and walked past me – narrowing her eyes into a venomous filled glare as she pushed past me. I watched her leave, and I turned back to Emily – cocking a brow. "What just happened?"

Emily shook her head, her mouth in a tight line. "She's always like that."

"What, on her period constantly?" I asked, and Kim let out a scoff filled with laughter.

"Even that wouldn't explain it," She said, shaking her head as she outstretched her hand. "Hi, I'm Kim. I'm Jared's girlfriend."

I nodded, shaking her hand. "I haven't met him yet but I'm assuming he's huge and native?"

She smiled, nodding. "Yep, basically but you will meet him, soon."

I nodded, and Emily passed me a drink of water and I took a small sip as I put it down on the table that was in the corner of the room, by the window. "Can I help you guys?"

Sue nodded, passing the toddler into my arms. "Oh, no, I'm not good with kids."

Sue laughed. "Nobody is, but you'll get used to it – it'll be your turn soon."

I weakly laughed as I sat down, awkwardly looking at the little girl in my arms.

She was beautiful.

Raven hair fell to her shoulders, and her wide eyes took up most of her face – framed by thick, dark lashes that just grazed her cheeks which were flushed, rosy pink colour contrasting against her russet skin. Her fringe covered her forehead, and she smiled as she made herself comfortable in my lap – her hand coming up to play with my necklace.

"How old is she?" I asked, smiling down at her.

Sue looked up from the lasagne she had taken out of the over, smiling. "Nearly three."

"Why doesn't she talk?" I asked, and Sue shrugged.

"No one knows – been sent to doctors and everything, but they said she doesn't have anything wrong with her." Sue said with a shrug as she turned back to her food.

I raised my eyebrows at the little girl, who seemed too tiny to be nearly three. She made some incoherent noises, before she turned back to the door – her hands clenching into fists as she motioned to the door. "Meemee!meemee!"

"RACHEL!" Sue yelled, going into the fridge to get cheese. "BETH WANTS YOU!"

Rachel, the girl that had the baby before, sighed as she came into the kitchen. Her eyes locked with mine, and she let out a gasp as she saw me holding Beth – smiling as she picked Beth from my arms and outstretched her hand. "Hi, I'm Rachel Lahote – Paul's wife."

"And Beth's mom?" I asked, and she nodded, shifting her weight as she held Beth who was making incoherent noises. "She's a beautiful little girl."

Rachel beamed. "Thank you – takes after my side of the family."

I laughed, fidgeting with my necklace again as Rachel smiled down at me – her smile still huge and I got the feeling that she wanted to do more than shake my hand, maybe hug me but she was refraining herself from doing the same as Emily had done before. I matched her stare, and I wondered why her eyes seemed so familiar – they were almost like Jacobs. Under her gaze, I dropped my eyes, not wanting to look at her eyes anymore because I was already uncomfortable with the situation.

Emily came over to Rachel, as if she sense my lack of comfort and she put her hand on Rachel's arm – giving her a look as she led Rachel back into the living room. "God, everyone likes to stare around here, don't they?"

Sue turned around to me, her features perplexed. "What do you mean?"

I shook my head, trying to brush off my comment. "Nothing – it's just, well, it seems like everyone's staring at me."

Sues expression hardened and her fists clenched around the pot she was carrying. "Who's everyone?"

"Jacob Black," I said, and she dropped her pot.

Red sauce spilled everywhere, and Emily came sprinting back into the kitchen – her eyes wide as she saw what looked like a massacre of meatballs on the floor and she looked to Sue. "What happened!"

Sue was still staring at me, her mouth open before she turned back to Emily – her eyes wide. "I-I need to talk to you."

I got up from my seat, and grabbed the cloth as I tried not to get the red sauce on my shoes as I went to clean it up – grabbing the paper towel that was sitting on the counter. I looked up to see if Emily or Sue was going to help me clean up, instead they were whispering amongst each other – their voices coming out in hushed hisses.

I watched in curiosity as Emily's face went from surprise to pure and utter anger, her eyes glance over to me, before she went into the living room. "JACOB BLACK!"

Heres another chapter for you all,

Thank you guys for reviewing, I love you all so much.

I had the worst week, absolutely awful - so I'm not sure if this chapter is up for it but whatever, I worked on it. And did you guys see what Kristen Stewert did to Robert Pattinson? I mean, sure her director was okay in the looks department but WHY WOULD YOU CHEAT ON ROBER TPATTINSON! HE IS A SEX GOD! Anyways, what ever - I just can't wait to see what happens with the promotional junkett.

That'll be awkward.

And what about the Olympic opening ceromony! It was amazing - they brought Lord Voldemort back from the dead and I just thought it was brilliant. Although I just saw Stephanie Rice loose at her swimming race she won at Bejing and I felt so sorry for her, she looked so absolutely heart broken.

And the shooter in Colarado? That was just horrible.

Huge, huge week.

Hopefully next week isn't as full on.

So, please, please...

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