Chapter Sixteen

Kenny's Point of View

Coach returned and I was in a predicament. Either I skipped gym and ran a really big risk of meeting Damien, or I went to gym and risked the chance of people seeing... my back. I did have a plan, to tell coach I had forgotten my kit, it would have worked if he hadn't produced a spare one; he was just trying to be helpful after all. Thankfully I was alone in the changing room, everyone else having already changed. Gym passed, it was irrelevant, but then isn't everything irrelevant these days? I was doing well wasting time in the toilets and when I finally re-entered the changing rooms there was no one left in there, or so I thought, I failed to notice the light blue gym bag in the corner.

"K-Kenny, what's tha- oh heck. What's that drawn on y-your back? D-does that say Damien?"

I freeze as a full dose of shock is injected into my body and frantically hurls itself in every direction. I feel the presence behind me moving closer. "Wait, oh Jesus, that's burnt into your skin!" I feel a small warm hand grab my arm and gently spin me around; my eyes are connected with soft, caring blue as I gaze down at the blond boy before me. "What is going on Kenny?" asks Leopold Butters Stotch.

I just stare at him, unable to talk, unable to move.

"Maybe you should sit down," he says sympathetically, craning his neck to have another look at my back. Compassion, I can't take the compassion, long suppressed water bursts out of my eyes as I lose all control. Seeing this Butters routes in his bag and produces a small packet of tissues, he carefully takes one out, unfolds it and hands it to me.

"Thanks," I mutter, wiping my eyes.

"When did this happen?" asks Butters as he scoots around me to observe my back again.

"Yesterday." He gasps.

"It needs treating or else it's going to get all infected and it will be mighty painful... even more so than it appears now." I hear him rummaging in his bag again behind me. "I'm going to put some antiseptic on the- on the... wound, don't you try to stop me." I feel a slight sting as the cold cream meets with my back, but it soon shifts into a soothing sensation as Butters' delicate fingertips rub over my scars. When he's done he hands me my t-shirt and I'm met with the concerned look on his face.

"Why are you being nice to me Butters?" I ask, voice flat.

"Well gee Kenny because I can see you're not alright, it's what people do, they help each other!" he replies, naively smiling up at me and rubbing his knuckles together.

"Do they?" I reply, "Do they really? Because no one else seems to care, no one else notices that there's something wrong, I'm with them all the time and they never notice my torment." I feel something inside me snap and my voice escalates. "Heck I help them with their problems; I sit and listen to them. I NOTICE when something is wrong but they're all too self centred to notice me. Their problems are nothing compared to mine, they can't even begin to understand MY suffering. And the really sad part is that if anyone did stop thinking about themselves long enough to notice something was wrong, I'd have to pretend everything was fine because otherwise I'd be in trouble with HIM." I'm not talking specifically to Butters any more, words are just pouring out of my mouth. "Hey Stan and Kyle, you're having relationship problems? Well I'm being horrifically mentally and physically abused, NOT THAT YOU CARE ONE BIT OF COURSE!"

"Is Damien abusing you?" asks very pale looking Butters, my face matches his as I comprehend what I've just said. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in, followed by a long, slow exhalation. I silently nod, avoiding eye contact.

"I fell in love Butters and now I can't leave him."

"How could you love someone like that?"

"Because I thought he was amazing." It's not a lie, I did fall in love with Damien, Butters needs an explanation and this is as close to the truth as I can tell.

"Do you want to be free?"

"Do you think I enjoy the way he treats me? I don't get pleasure from being burnt, from being punched and kicked. I just can't get away from him, I have no choice."

"Kenny, there's always a choice."

"Not for me."

"Surely there are better people in this world to love than the ones who abuse you? You need someone more caring... more gentle." He looks intently up at me with his innocent, crystal clear eyes, the most caring and gentle I have ever seen.

"My life is too dangerous for someone like that," I state bluntly, turning away.

"With Damien around, yes," whispers Butters.

"Well he's not going anywhere."

"When there's a will, there's a way." Says Butters in a distressed voice, having trouble himself believing it.

"I thought it was: when there's a will, there are about fifty relatives," I laugh sternly. Forcing myself to look harshly at Butters I bark: "and besides what makes you think I have the will to leave him, I love Damien." Lie, I definitely do not love Damien, I wish I could tell him the truth but that would put us both in peril. The lie seems to convince Butters, who drops his head and grabs his bag.

"Well maybe you need to have a good long think about- about it Kenny; because anyone who hurts you in that way sure as hell can't be good... you are not something to be owned, to be branded. Well you're a person who's being used and if you can't see that, I can't help you." He gives me one last look before shoving his way out of the changing room doors.

You're right Butters, Damien SURE AS HELL isn't good.

G'day mate! Thank you for reading. Awww I love Butters. I would really like to hear what you're thinking about the story RIGHT NOW! So please leave a review if you can. No pressure. xx