"You and Jackson looked kind of friendly before."
I shake my head and pretend to occupy myself with my champagne. Faith has been trying to fix me up with "good guys" for about ten years now. She started with the boy band singer Calvin Janus, and when the two of us didn't hit it off, she simply widened her search. There was the captain of the crew team at her private school, one of her dad's summer interns, and a guy that sang in choir her freshman year at Yale, just to name a few. In fact, just a couple months ago, she actually managed to set me up with a National Geographic reporter she'd met the last time she was in Guyana after she'd heard we were both going to be in Kuala Lumpur at the same time.
"I don't know why I never pictured the two of you together," she continues. "Jackson's funny and super sweet. I guess I just never thought of him like a guy-guy since he's my cousin."
"He was just being nice, Faith."
"I don't know. He seemed to be finding quite a few random reasons to touch you."
"Now you went and made him sound creepy."
"My cousin isn't creepy."
"No, he's sweet, just like you said. He was taking pity."
"It's like you don't even know when a guy's hitting on you."
"He's too young for me."
"He's about two years younger than you. When you're fifty-six and he's fifty-four you won't even notice the difference."
"Maybe he should look me up if he's still single when he's fifty-four. Anyway, Jackson's your cousin. It doesn't feel right."
"Maybe because you and Hanna are like my sisters. It would be all wrong if I had to call you my cousin."
"Oh my god, he just asked me to be his date tomorrow. You're already talking marriage?"
Faith wraps an arm around my waist and squeezes. "I just want you to be as happy as I am."
"I'm fine. I'm good. Really good. I'm at your wedding! You're marrying that guy." I nod in Jon's direction. He's talking with some of his friends, but it's like he can sense Faith's eyes on him. He looks up and smiles this dazzling smile when he catches sight of his fiancée. Faith sighs.
"Can you believe you two are going to be married in less than twenty-four hours?" The idea of marriage is so far removed from my reality that I know the next day is going to be extremely surreal. I certainly can't imagine it.
"I can absolutely believe it," Faith nearly whispers. "I've wanted this from the first time we kissed, maybe even before that."
"Wow," I sigh.
"Yeah. Wow."
"You don't have any doubt, do you?"
"Not even close. I'm not perfect, and he's not perfect, but we're perfect together, you know?"
I think Faith's pretty close to perfect, but I understand what she means.
I lean against the railing and gaze out across the water. The dark outline of the Olympic Mountains is just visible against the midnight blue sky. Seagulls bob on the gentle waves. I think I see a family of dolphins in the distance, their fins silently rolling in and out of the water.
"Did Hanna ever get back to you?" Faith asks, reminding me that all is not exactly well in the world.
"Everything's fine, Faith."
"Hanna didn't seem fine. Don't you think something's a little... off?"
"She has her dad to deal with. You know how he can get."
"Maybe."
Faith is clearly not convinced. I don't know how much longer I can hold onto Hanna's secret, but now is definitely not the right time to spill, and it's not my secret to tell. I often find myself in the middle between Hanna and Faith, but it's never been about something so enormous before. It's usually about stuff like blowjobs and spit versus swallow (Hanna does one thing, Faith another, and well, I go both ways).
"Maybe she tried spitting and Decker got offended," I giggle.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Hi there, Mrs. Kent," Jonathan says, pulling Faith away from me and into his arms.
"Not quite." Faith's cheeks blush.
"Not soon enough," he whispers and I suddenly feel the need to leave.
I cough. "I should probably find my folks."
"Sorry, Thea," Jonathan apologizes. "I need to steal Faith for a minute. My mom is heading out. I kept her around so I could introduce her to Alec, but I just overheard that he got held up at the Dallas airport. Thunderstorms."
I think maybe the only thing in the world Faith's dad can't manipulate is the weather. Actually, from what I hear, he's not too great at controlling Faith's little brother, either.
Faith looks stricken. "If he's not here by tomorrow -"
"Shh… Your dad sent a helicopter to get him to Austin where he had another private jet waiting."
Okay, maybe Mr. Masen could actually manipulate anything: air travel, the weather, little brothers.
"Come say goodnight to my mom, Mrs. Almost-Kent."
I give Faith a quick hug, and after she's gone, I send Hanna a text.
Your secret's safe, but just barely. Are things cool with you and your dad?
When she doesn't reply right away, I replace my empty glass of champagne with a full one and glance around the yacht for my parents. I know it's their impulse to spend every possible second with me when I'm back home. It's been almost three months; I owe them some quality time. I find my mom and Edward arm in arm near the back of the boat, talking quietly. My mom's cheeks have gone pink, a sure sign she's had a little to drink herself. Edward whispers something in her ear that makes her laugh.
I know it doesn't directly involve Faith and Jonathan and my photo-project, but I take a moment to snap a picture of my mom and stepdad. I don't use the flash, so they appear as shadows against the deep blue horizon. I'm glad they don't notice me.
I focus the lens on their joined hands, and I don't know if it's the alcohol running through my veins or what, but I feel like I can see the love between them right there, where palm meets palm.
Edward twirls my mom and they half-dance; they kiss. She gazes up at him. I try to imagine a teenage version of her staring up at him on a different dark night by the water. I try to imagine Edward as a rock star. Of course, I've seen pictures; everyone has. It's still hard to imagine him that way though. He's a different person, but they're still in love – with a love that's different, yet enduring.
I snap another picture and this time around they notice.
"Get over here, Little One," my mom commands, holding out her arms for me. "You're not on assignment. No need to lurk in the shadows."
She pulls me into an all-encompassing hug and Edward kisses the top of my head. It's been too long and guilt competes with the feeling of safety and security I always find in their embrace. I'm glad I'll be spending a week in San Francisco after the wedding. I'm looking forward to running between my mom and dad's houses, reading dad's articles, mom's new short stories, listening to whatever experimental rock groups Edward's producing, answering endless questions and enduring countless compliments. I suddenly kind of wish I could stay in their arms forever, but that's silly. I'm supposed to be a grown woman.
"You two having a good time?" I ask, pulling away, sipping at the bubbly liquid in my glass.
"Tonight's been lovely."
"This boat's giving your mother ideas," Edward adds.
"Maybe just a little yacht?" she asks.
"A small yacht? Where we'd eat jumbo shrimp served by an overgrown midget?"
"Yes to everything – except the little person."
Edward laughs and shakes his head. He doesn't say anything, but it's a done deal. He waited a good part of his life before my mom would take anything from him. I bet the yacht he eventually buys will be more mid-sized than small.
My mom turns her eyes to me. "It seems like only yesterday you, Hanna and Faith were running around the playground together. And now here we are. Time flies. Are you having fun?"
In a rush, I'm nearly compelled to tell her everything: how I want to be happy, but I worry that something's broken inside of me because I'm smart and well-travelled and successful, how I have amazing friends and a privileged lifestyle, but I'm twenty-six years old and I've never ever been legitimately in love. I take a deep breath, a little sip, and hold it inside though. I tuck that confessional away until Mom and I can find some alone time on the porch back home.
"Faith's so amazingly happy," I enthuse. "To get to spend this time with her and Hanna... to see how they're both so... complete. It's all just perfect." I finish with tears in my eyes.
Mom and Edward both let that statement go. They're good that way.
"Did she hire you as the photographer?" Edward asks, eyeing the camera case hanging from my shoulder, changing the subject. He's giving me an out and I'm grateful.
"Oh! Right. No. It's my gift. It's something kind of under wraps I've been working on. I didn't know it at first, I guess. I've been trying to catch little things between Faith and Jonathan, pictures that show their love: hands, eyes, the tilt of a head. The subtle ways you can see how they feel. I think I caught it the first time I saw the two them together, and you can still see it through the lens."
"Can I have a look?" Edward asks. My stepdad has a good eye for things like this, so I eagerly hand over the camera. He flips on the display and my mom edges in for a look. They both smile and kind of lean into one another.
"Jonathan has old man hands," my mom murmurs.
"Faith is fucking hot."
My mom giggles. Edward bites his lip. I'm absolutely horrified until I remember that the last photo I took was of my parents.
"Yeah, well, it doesn't only apply to Faith and Jonathan," I try to explain. "I mean, I kind of know about love because of you guys. You're lucky. You can see it right there in that picture." I point. It's as obvious as if the word 'love' were blinking on the screen.
"Old man hands, huh?" Edward asks my mom, nudging her playfully.
"Other parts of your body are remarkably youthful."
"Enough, enough, enough!" I hold my hands in front of my face.
"What? Your step-dad has a full head of hair. It's miraculous, really." My mom laughs. Edward smirks, cocks an eyebrow and rakishly runs a hand through his full head of hair.
"We were actually thinking of heading back to the hotel," my mom says. "It's getting late."
"Old men need their sleep," Edward agrees.
My phone buzzes in my purse.
Everything's cool. Heading home. Thanks for your help.
I know it's just a text, but I can tell that my friend is definitely not cool. Between keeping secrets from her dad, Faith, and everyone else in the world, all while trying not to upset Decker... well, if it were anyone else besides Hanna they probably would have self-destructed by now. I know she's strong, but if Hanna doesn't figure this all out soon I'm afraid someone's going to get hurt. I'm afraid she's going to get hurt. She puts on a good show and she's got a hard outer shell, but really, Hanna's a big mush inside.
"These must be your parents, huh? Hi, um, Mr. Swan? Ms. Clearwater?"
Whoa. My not-a-date is back, awkwardly shaking hands and smiling, standing a little too close to me. I shake my head.
"My mom is Ms. Swan. My step-dad's Mr. Cullen."
"Oh, right, sorry ma'am, sir."
My mom and Edward look on expectantly, waiting for an introduction. Jackson's shoe touches mine. His suit jacket brushes my arm.
"This is Faith's cousin, Jackson. He's, um..."
"Phi Beta Kappa, twenty-four, V.P. of sales at Masen Corporation, and kind of, um, breathtaken."
"Breathtaken?" I ask. "Were you running?"
"No, I just, nevermind. Are you coming to the afterparty?"
Faith would never sanction a rehearsal dinner afterparty, but as I glance around, I notice that most of the wedding party is definitely heading off together. They're all gathered near the dock throwing out the names of clubs in Belltown and Pioneer Square.
"I don't think so. I'm kind of beat. Still on Kuala Lumpur time, you know."
"Oh. I could stay back too."
"But, um... I've got to give my parents a ride back to their hotel." I know this is news to my parents, but they're thankfully quiet about the sudden change of plans.
"Gottcha. Right. Sure. Nice to meet you guys. See you tomorrow, Thea." Jackson gives a parting wave to my parents and leans his head in my direction. He looks like he's about to say something more but turns on his heels and heads over to the dock where the rest of the wedding party is waiting instead.
"You're driving?" Edward asks, eyeing my champagne glass.
"Back to our hotel?" my mom chimes in.
"I was just -"
"Breaking his heart," Edward suggests.
"Not even close! He just feels sorry for me. It was probably Faith's idea."
Mom and Edward exchange a look. Whatever. Even if Jackson does have a slight crush or something, I'm not going there with my best friend's cousin. Those kind of things never end well.
However, I am completely exhausted. That was the god's honest truth. It's like speaking about jet lag reminded my body that day is night and night is day, and I've technically done three all-nighters in a row. I was supposed to get a ride back to the Masen's with Faith's brother, but he's apparently waylaid by the weather. Hanna's already home with Decker and Faith is surrounded by her family, so I offer up my best puppy dog impression to my parents. "Could I hitch a ride with you guys?" I plead pitifully.
"Wasn't she driving us?" my mom asks.
Edward chuckles. "I certainly can't navigate Seattle streets."
"We'd definitely planned on having Thea drive us back... ever since he invitation came in the mail."
"I hear she moonlights as a taxi driver."
My parents think they're funny.
Edward's still chuckling as he tosses me the valet ticket. I try valiantly to catch it but the little scrap slips repeatedly through my fingers and finally falls to the deck at my feet. Edward and I simultaneously bend to retrieve it and I quickly realize that I have to steady myself with one hand, seeing as how my heels are trying to pitch my body forward. My head swims.
"Not driving," Edward says, handing me the ticket, holding my hand.
"Not really," I agree.
"Thea, I, uh... I hated these things when I was your age."
"I don't hate this."
"You know I love you. You know I'm here."
Edward's always been able to see right through me. I blink back tears. He helps me to my feet and just like that, the moment's over.
I leave my parents to say a quick goodbye to Faith and Jon. I promise Faith I'll be awake bright and early so I can help her get ready to walk down the aisle. I can tell she's worried; she knows I'm not a morning person. I detail the two alarms, the phone call from Hanna, and Hanna's promise to break down my bedroom door and roll me out of bed if all else fails. I don't know if it's my plan that sets her at ease or if it's Jonathan's kiss. Who am I kidding? It's totally Jonathan's kiss. Have I mentioned how happy I am for her?
I make my way down the dock with my parents, guiltily waving to Jackson, offering quick hugs to the other girls I know, turning down offers for rides downtown. We wind our way through the crowd and the valet has my parents' rental car waiting.
I duck into the back seat like a criminal, hoping Jackson isn't watching. I slouch and feel silly. I shouldn't have lied. I shouldn't have made my mom and Edward complicit in all of this. I'm ridiculous. Maybe Hanna and Faith are right. Maybe I'm always single because I never give anyone a chance. What am I waiting for? Prince Charmings don't really exist. My expectations are wonky. My desires are unrealistic. Jackson's a perfectly decent individual who I am in no way superior to. Before I can berate myself too thoroughly, the car comes to a stop.
I peek around the seatback and notice that the gate at the guard booth is barring our way. The guards manning the station both seem occupied with a black SUV trying to make its way toward the Masen's yacht. A high-pitched shriek rattles the car windows and I jump in my seat.
Even though it sounds like there's a little kid in the SUV that's really upset, both of the guards double over laughing. One ducks his head into the passenger side window. The other guard steps back, his hands on his hips, shaking his head. Through the driver's side window, I can see that driver's turned backwards in his seat, clearly occupied with the child in the back. At first, all I can see is a dark muscular arm, the back of a neck, and a head of short, dark hair.
One of the guards finally notices our waiting car and raises the gate. As we pass, the man in the SUV stretches over the back of his seat. I crane my neck. I glimpse a broad back covered by a thin gray T-shirt, a trim waist, and the hint of a strong chest.
"It's okay, little girl," a deep voice coos.
I shiver and stare out the back window, but I've lost site of the man altogether. His arm, his neck, his back are gone and I have the ridiculous impulse to tell Edward to stop the car. I don't, of course. I'm not insane, just a little buzzed and overtired. I'm sure that's why my heart's pounding and I feel lightheaded.
The child shrieks again in the distance. My mother says something about bedtimes and rests her head on Edward's shoulder. I attempt to focus on my responsibilities for tomorrow. I try reciting my toast in my head, but can't make it past the first few sentences. I wonder about the man and his child. She sounded frantic, but his voice was so reassuring. His arms looked long and secure. The child is in good hands. I'm asleep before we reach the highway.
A/N: Thanks for reading! Thanks to SueBee for tirelessly fixing my strange comma placement, and Jo & Amy for putting up with me. Next up is Faith... you're not going to want to miss it. It's sure to be the wedding of the century. xxx ~M