He was woken up hours later by someone kicking him. He opened his eyes to see Kate thrashing around the couch, tossing and turning with her eyes squeezed tightly shut. "Kate," he said softly, gently shaking her shoulder. He gasped when he felt the damp fabric of her shirt. He looked closer at her face and noticed the sweat beading down her forehead. He immediately threw the blanket off them, "God Kate, wake up," he begged, pushing the sweat drenched hair from her face. He shook her shoulder a little harder, "Kate." He could tell by the cold sweet and the thrashing and her quick breathing she was in the throws of a nightmare. He tried shaking her shoulder one more time, "Kate please, wake up." Her eyes shot open and she bolted upright, chest heaving and looking around in terror. "Hey. Hey it's ok. You're ok." he said rubbing a hand over her arm.

"I…umm….nightmare?"

He nodded, "Seemed like a bad one."

"I…yeah." She said, taking a breath and running a hand through her messy hair. When she felt the sweat on her forehead she cursed. "Damn it." Why? Why did this have to happen? Tonight of all nights…why did this have to happen? Man, he wasn't going to let this one go was he?

"Kate," he said, grabbing her hand, "Hey…it's ok."

"No it's not Castle. I'm so sorry. You shouldn't…"

"Hey," he chided, squeezing her hand, "I'm glad I was here to wake you." She just shook her head. "Okay, I'll be right back. Just stay put."

He got up and quickly went to his bathroom, grabbing a washcloth and running under some cool water. He then went to the kitchen and got a glass and filled it with some cold water. He walked back into the living room to see Kate sitting up on the couch, hugging the pillow to her chest. "Here, take a couple sips," he urged, pushing the glass into her hand. She took a few long gulps before setting the water on the table beside the couch. She finally looked him in the eyes and he gently grabbed her face without saying a word, rubbing the cool washcloth over her warm forehead and cheeks. She closed her eyes and tried to take a deep breath, still attempting to calm her racing heart. When he was done he gently urged her to scoot forward and he settled behind her, gathering her hair and pulling it up so he could put the cool washcloth on her neck. He ran the washcloth over her neck, and her upped back and shoulders that weren't covered by her shirt. When he brought the washcloth back to her neck he felt her shoulders begin to shake. "Kate?" he asked, gently moving around to face her, "Kate, hey. Look at me."

When she finally looked at him there were tears running down her face, "It's all my fault."

"Kate…"

"It's all my fault. If I hadn't opened old wounds...if I wasn't still looking into this case and he wasn't constantly reminded of everything and…"

"Kate…" he interrupted firmly, "It's not your fault."

"How can you say that? He was fine until I started this up again. Then Coonan and Raglan happened and I…I just couldn't let it go. I just kept going at it and…God I should have known he couldn't handle it but I just kept drudging up the past and he couldn't take it. If I would have left it alone and he didn't have to go through it all again he'd…"

"Hey," he interrupted again. He grabbed her hands, "This is NOT your fault. Not your fault do you hear me? "

"Rick…he would be fine if it wasn't for all this."

"No, you don't know that. You cannot blame yourself Kate. I won't let you. This has nothing to do with you."

She just shook her head disagreeing with him. After a long period of silence Kate spoke, "Look Castle, I'm really sorry…"

"You have nothing to apologize for Kate."

"Yes I do. I dragged you into this and woke you up in the middle of the night. I'm so sorry. Usually I…"

As soon as the word left her mouth she cringed. . Crap! She hadn't meant to say that. Maybe he wouldn't catch it?.

Castles eyes widened, "Usually?! How often does this happen?"

Ok, so, no such luck. Damn it. "Castle, it…"

"How often Kate?"

"Rick please. Just…"

"How often?" he repeated again. She still didn't answer, "Damn it, Kate. I'm just gonna keep asking until you tell me-you know that. So just tell me…how many nights a week does this happen?"

She stuttered, "Umm, a maybe uh one…one or two."

"You're lying," he said bluntly. She just gaped at him. How? How did he? "Come on Kate, I've worked with you for years, I know your tells. You're lying."

"I'm…"

"Tell me the truth."

She looked down and sighed. She finally conceded, "Four or five."

"Oh, Kate."

"No Castle," she said as she pulled her hand out of his grip. "It's ok. I don't want to talk about that and I don't…just don't do this right now. You promised me tonight we wouldn't just watch a movie."

"Look at the clock Kate…it's morning. Well…not morning but its 3am the next day. I made no promises about today."

"Damn it Castle, I…"

"No, listen Kate. You are not fine. You are so far from fine and…and you promised me you would try and let me help you so please…try."

"I am Castle, I just…"

"Keep trying," he whispered, taking her hand back, pleased to see she didn't pull away. When she slowly nodded he continued, "You want to tell me about your nightmare?" She immediately shook her head no so he tried again, "Okay, let me rephrase that. Will you please tell me about it?"

"I wouldn't…I wouldn't even know where to start Castle. I can't…God I can't do this, it's not gonna make any sense."

"Yes you can Kate. Just start talking, we'll make sense of it."

She nodded and took a deep breath, "My uh…my mom. She…it was weird. I don't know how but I was talking to her and she was mad at me and telling me that it was all my fault and that my dad was drinking again because of my obsession and that she was so upset and disappointed with me because I let this happen and then all of the sudden my dad was drunk on the floor saying it was all because of me and if I hadn't kept looking into everything and…I…I know its stupid. It's stupid and irrational and my mom wouldn't blame me. She would just be mad I was letting this run my life but…but it was just so real Castle."

"Kate I know you think this is your fault but you have to trust me. If anything, it's my fault."

"Wait, wait?" she asked confused.

"Well I opened it back up. You left it alone and I opened it."

"Castle you really think I was done with it?"

"You said you were. You said you had put it behind you."

"And you know me. You really think I wouldn't have come back to it someday? It was only a matter of time Castle. It's not your fault."

"Okay…well then how about this. I won't blame myself if you don't. "

"I…I don't know if I can Rick."

He gently grabbed her face, "Not. Your. Fault." He punctuated, "It is not your fault. You weren't responsible the first time and you aren't responsible now and I will tell you that as many times as I need to to make you believe it." He brushed her tears away with his thumb.

"I can't do this again Rick."

"Yes you can Kate."

"No, no I…I can't. Last time…it was bad and I barely got through that and I just. I can't lose my dad again. I can't be the strong one again. I…I need my dad and I…I can't…"

"Kate this is different."

"No it's not. He's drinking himself into oblivion and I'm losing him at a time I need him most and…"

"But you aren't alone this time Kate. I'm here. I'm here and we'll get him through this together. I'm not going anywhere and I'm here to help in any way I can you just…you just have to let me." She nodded and threw her arms around him. He held her tight, "It's gonna be okay Kate. He's gonna make it, we'll figure this out." He felt her nod against his shoulder as her tears soaked his t-shirt. He laid them back against the pillows and she buried her head deep into his shoulder. After a while he finally started to feel her breathing even out. "Do you think you can sleep now?" he asked gently.

"Mmhmm," she mumbled against his shoulder.

He looked down and found her eyes closed, "Hey—guest bed's probably more comfortable than a couch."

She gripped him tighter, "No. Don't want to move."

"Ok," he said softly, smiling as he pulled the blankets up over them with his free arm that wasn't wrapped around her, "Goodnight Kate."

"G'nite" she mumbled, already half asleep.

A few minutes later when he could tell she was fast asleep he put his hand over hers that was resting on his chest, kissed her forehead and whispered, "I love you Kate."

When Castle woke the next morning and saw Kate lying next to him he thought it was a dream. Then he soon remembered what had happened the day (and night) before and sighed. He gently untangled himself from Kate, knowing she would freak if she woke up and they were tangled together. As he got up to make coffee he heard Alexis coming down the stairs.

She followed him to the kitchen, "Kate's still here? And she's still asleep? At 9:00am?"

Castle sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he made his way to the coffee machine, taking out the pot and bringing it to the sink to fill it with water, "Uh…yeah, we umm, we had a long night."

Alexis looked at him concerned as he made his way back to the machine, returning the pot and reaching above in the cabinets for the coffee and filters, "Dad, what's going on? I know something's wrong. What happened?"

"Alexis…"

"I'm not a little girl anymore dad."

"I know pumpkin."

"And I love her too."

Castle smiled at his daughter, "I know."

"So…I'm worried about her too."

"Lex we found out yesterday that Kate's dad is drinking again."

"What?! Oh my…"

"Yeah…"

"I can't believe this dad."

"I know…"

"Poor Kate. What can we do?"

"Oh sweetie," he said as he walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her, "just be there for her. Let her know we love her."

Alexis smiled, "I knew it!"

Rick pulled back, realizing what he had said. "Alexis…"

"No! You said you love her! I knew it!" she squealed.

"Alexis lower your voice!" he chided as he walked back over to the coffee machine and put the filter in and filled it with coffee, "I want Kate to sleep."

"Sorry," Alexis said, lowering her voice to a whisper, "But you love her!"

"She's my best friend, of course I love her." He argued, shutting the top of the machine and turning it on.

"Ugh, you guys are impossible! That isn't what you meant and you know it!"

He chose to ignore her comment, "So, daughter, what are you doing up so early on your extra day off?"

"Nice diversionary tactic…switching the focus, very clever. Just know I'm onto you. And…if it makes you feel any better…she's in love with you, too." Castle gave his daughter a stern glare and she threw her hands up in defeat, "Ok, ok dropping it. I'm going to study at Paige's…big test tomorrow."

Castle shook his head, "I have no idea where you get your sense of responsibility."

Alexis laughed, "Me neither. I'll text you to let you know when I'm gonna be back." She said, giving him a hug goodbye.

"Sounds good pumpkin."

Alexis started walking away but turned back, "Take care of her, okay?"

Castle nodded, "As much as she'll let me."

Alexis nodded her understanding and waved good bye before quietly making her way out of the loft. Castle poured himself a cup of coffee and looked out to the living room and saw Kate beginning to stir. He grabbed another mug and poured another cup. When he walked back in she was moving to sit against the pillows. "Thanks, Castle." She said as he held out the cup to her. She took it and took a long sip, gripped the mug tightly between her hands. " They fell into silence.

"Don't over think it." He suddenly said, able to tell she was freaking out.

"What?" she asked, coming out of her reverie.

He sighed, "How bad are you freaking out right now?"

"I'm...not..."

"Bull," he chuckled, "you slept, you look better, and I finally got you to open up a little last night...and now you are freaking out."

"Castle don't..." but before she could finish her thought, her phone buzzed on the table next to the couch. She picked it up, but when she saw it was her father she threw the phone on the couch and ran a frustrated hand over her face.

"Kate," Castle said softly, moving to sit next to her on the couch, "you have to talk to him."

"I don't have to do anything Castle. I'm a big girl, I get to make my own decisions." she said, getting angry. Not at him, but at the situation. In addition to her father drinking she had spent the night in Rick's arms and God help her, she did sleep better, she did feel better, and she most definitely WAS freaking out, "And the next decision I am making is I am going to go home to shower and change." It was so much easier last night. But now…now she wasn't so sure. Now it seemed more complicated and maybe….ugh she didn't know what to do.

She moved to get up but he grabbed her arm, "You are NOT running away Kate."

"Castle! I am not running away...I am going home to change and get cleaned up."

"And conveniently get out of talking about this..."

"Added benefit..." she muttered under her breath, but he still heard it. Before he could reply his phone buzzed in his pocket. When he saw it was Jim Beckett his face fell and he looked at Kate.

"Do not answer that Castle."

"Kate, he's probably worried. As a father I'm telling you, he..."

She cut him off, "I don't care if he is worried! Let him worry! Then he'll see how it feels!

"Kate..."

"No Castle. If you answer that phone any possibility you have of convincing me to not run out of here is gone."

"Kate please..." Castle said, moving to answer the phone.

Kate immediately jumped off the couch, "Fine, I'm leaving," she said angrily.

Castle pulled his hand back and grabbed her wrist, "Ok, ok I won't answer it just please...stay so we can talk about this." Kate sighed as Rick put his phone down and it stopped buzzing, but she didn't make any move to sit down, "Ok Kate, I didn't answer. Please, sit down..." She shook her head. "Kate, you said if I didn't answer..."

"That I MIGHT stay," she finished, knowing where he was going, "I didn't say I would definitely stay. And I'm going home Castle." she said pulling her wrist out of his grasp and beginning to gather her stuff.

"Kate! Come on..."

"Rick! Just leave it alone."

Now it was Ricks turn to run a frustrated hand down his face. This woman was the most stubborn, maddening...uggh! He normally wouldn't take part in such childish actions, he really wouldn't, but desperate times called for desperate measures. He picked up his phone, "You know I can always call him back Kate..."

She whipped around, "Castle!" she warned.

"You either stay and talk, or I'm calling him back."

"You're blackmailing me?" She said in disbelief.

"Well, you didn't seem to have a problem with the concept when you were doing it to me a couple seconds ago!"

"Ugh Castle!" she said frustrated.

"Yea I know the feeling," he muttered.

"Fine, you know what?" she said as she finished gathering her stuff, "Call him, I don't care. I am going home. I told you last night, I can't...I can't do this Castle."

"Can't do what Kate? Talk about the fact your father is drinking again or talk about how you slept better with me holding you?" Ok, so him getting annoyed probably wasn't going to help anything but damn it, he was frustrated. Kate stopped in her tracks, stunned he would actually be so forward, "So..." he continued when he saw her stop, "Which is it Kate?" Without saying a word Kate rushed to the door, "Kate please..." he said as he ran to the door to catch her, but he was too late and he just got the door slammed in his face.

Kate ran to the elevator, the doors closing before she hunched over, her hands gripping her knees trying to quell the panic. She couldn't do this here, she just had to wait until she got home. When the elevator dinged she ran out of the building, quickly flagging a cab. When they finally got to her building she threw money at the cab driver and flew up the stairs, quickly unlocking her door and slamming it, promptly sinking down to the floor and breaking down. Her father drinking? Sleeping better with Rick holding her? Which was it? It was both...she couldn't deal with either of those things right now. Was she being the ultimate hypocrite? Definitely. But at the moment…she didn't care. All she knew was that she could just not do this right now.

Rick paced his apartment for 15 minutes before the door opened. Hoping it was Kate, he rushed to the living room, only to find Alexis walking in, "Lex, what are you doing here? I thought you were studying with Paige?"

"I forgot a notebook...dad where's Kate? Is she taking a shower or something?"

"Uh, well, no not exactly."

"What do you mean 'not exactly'? Dad, what happened?"

"She ran out pumpkin."

"Ran out?"

"Uh, yeah." he confirmed sitting on the couch, his daughter following suit, "She got really mad and ran out..." He relayed the whole story to his daughter, starting with what happened last night, how Kate had a nightmare and he finally got her to talk to him, only to shut him out this morning. Then he ended with the phone call from Jim.

"What are you still doing here dad?"

"What?" He asked confused.

"You said she was going home, go over there! She needs you!"

"She won't talk to me Alexis. I tried. She doesn't WANT to talk to me right now."

Alexis shook her head, "Gosh for someone so smart you are an idiot sometimes! You know Kate dad...you know sharing and opening up isn't the easiest thing for her..."

"Yeah but I don't want to push her..."

"That's what she needs dad. She needs for you to push her. She needs to talk to you about it and she won't unless you push. You said that you promised her you wouldn't let her push you away. You said SHE made you promise that...well...she is pushing you away. And you're letting her!"

"I'm just trying to respect her space Alexis."

"She doesn't need space dad...she needs YOU. And you know it. Go over there and make sure she is ok."

Rick sighed, "Ok…ok fine. But if I get yelled at, I'm blaming you!"

"Yeah, yeah you do that. Now go! I'm worried about her. Text me and let me know she's ok."

He nodded and got up, grabbing his coat and keys and heading for the door, "I will. Thanks for the pep talk Alexis. I love you."

"Love you to dad," she replied quickly as he went out the door.

When he knocked on her door 15 minutes later he wasn't surprised when she didn't answer, "Come on Kate, I know you're in there. Open up or I'll just use my key."

"Castle, go away!"

"Fine!" he huffed as he got out his key. If she wasn't going to let him in, he'd let himself in. His daughter was right; he needed to keep his promise.

Kate had thought she got rid of Castle when he didn't continue banging on the door so when her door opened she jumped, "Castle! What are you doing?!"

"Keeping my promise." he stated simply as he walked towards her. She was sitting at the kitchen island with a bottle of whisky, just staring at it. She had a shot glass in front of her, full of the liquor. "Kate…"