"So you guys survived. Had fun?" Four comments drily, as he takes in our gleaming eyes, dishevelled appearances and red cheeks.
"Yeah! Definitely!" Christina says, and Shauna, Zeke and Uriah chime in, telling Tobias that it was the 'best plan so far'. Since I'm the only one who doesn't say a word, Tobias looks at me questioningly.
"And you?"
"I... Well, it was even better than what you did, I think." I say smugly, and he shoots me a look.
"Says the person who came up with the idea..."
"Stop it, you two. Four, you'll get another chance to prove yourself." Shauna mutters. After that, she walks away. "I'm going to get something to eat! You guys wanna come?" Zeke, Uriah and Christina hurry after her, claiming that they could eat a horse. I'd like to see them try... Only Four and I remain. He starts to say something, but I interrupt him.
"Don't start arguing. You were busy, and it was safe. Sorry I didn't tell you." He cocks his eyebrow.
"Wasn't going to. Come on." We walk in the direction our friends were going, but when I veer to the right, in the direction of the cafeteria, he continues straight ahead.
"What are we going to do in the Pit?" Of course, he doesn't answer. Fine, I'll just follow him. We go up the stairs, to the room of the Fear Landscape. What is he planning? Surely, he can't be intent on...
"Last time, you went through my fear landscape. Now, it's my turn."
"Seriously?" I look at him dumbfounded. "This is your surprise?" He nods.
"It's a Dauntless tradition. In order for couples to be able to completely trust each other, they need to know about the other's fears. I figured we could... restore some trust, with the things that have been going on – you not telling me that you were going base jumping is but a good example." I cringe. I don't want him to face my fears, some of them are just so... stupid. But he's holding a box with syringes, and I can sense that if I don't go along with the plan, he'll think that I don't trust him. He leaves me no choice – all in or back out.
"Fine, then. If you insist." We inject each other, and walk in.
Like before, we start with the birds. Crows, all around me. I remember what I did at the Initiation, but I'm not sure if that will work again. I wasn't afraid of guns back then. Anyway, I have to try. Tobias is next to me, his hands keeping me steady.
"The same fear as in your simulation. Powerlessness." He says, and I look at him. "What are you going to do about it?"
"You know what combats powerlessness? Power. And the first time I ever felt powerful, was when I hit the bull's eye for the first time. Now though, I'm... wary of guns. You'll have to help me."
""Naturally. What do I do?"
"There are two guns in the grass. Crouch down, and find them. Then ,shoot the–" I stop talking. There is a crow in front of my. I find the gun and I point it at the bird. Point blank. Impossible to miss. The bird changes into Will, and I can't do it. I can't shoot him. Tobias can, though. Bang. Will's shirt slowly soaks with blood. Crumbling to his knees, he coughs and looks at me.
"Your fault, Tris. You did... this... to me..." Then, he dies. I'm realize that I'm crying. Not real. Just a simulation. Calm down. Just a simulation. But it is real. It's what happened to him. I know what to do now, though. While Tobias keeps firing at the birds, I give myself five seconds.
Five. He is lying there, his eyes open, looking at me accusingly.
Four. I imagine Christina, sitting on her knees next to him, her red rimmed eyes looking at me. 'What have you done! This is your fault!'
Three. The blood, seeping through his shirt, staining my shoes, pooling around us.
Two. The blood keeps coming. How much blood can human beings contain? Certainly not that much. It's a simulation. Not. Real.
One. I take a deep breath, calm myself down, open my eyes, and find that Will's body is gone. I'm in a glass box, with Tobias. I know what to do with this simulation, though. I slam my hand against the glass, but it doesn't work. Tobias's laboured breathing distracts me too much. Of course. The claustrophobia. Now I don't have time to comfort him though, because the water is rising.
"Tobias, hold your breath. Just a minute, I'll get us out of here." He does as I tell him, though I can sense it's hard for him. The water comes to my hips. I slam my hand against the glass, and it cracks. Just a little. My other hand.
"Tobias, your turn. Break the glass. You can do it, you're Divergent." He slams his shoulder into the glass. The water comes to my chest – and we're free. Until the dark returns. I'm lying on the rock, with my legs in the water, and Tobias is next to me. This simulation was incredibly hard last time, but now, I have him. I have Four. We pull each other up the rocks, and hug.
"You must be afraid of water. Two fears out of six about water?" I laugh shakily.
"No. Not water. Not being in control, being powerless." He smiles, but the darkness returns again. When I can see again, I'm tied to the pole. Being burned at the stake by Peter. Same old – Oh. Or not. Not Peter, but Jeanine is holding a torch.
"That's new, it used to be Peter..." I mutter to Tobias. Oh well, who cares. I turn to face Jeanine. "Hey, Jeanine. News flash: you're dead." She yelps and looks at me in horror, all the blood draining from her face. She falls, drops the torch and the flames die. It fell in a puddle.
"That puddle was not there before." Tobias says, and I tell him that that's the point. Next, I will the knots to loosen up, and I free myself. I smile at Tobias, who seems rather impressed. When I look around again, I'm in my room. My eyes flit to the wall of mirrors, the men outside the door, the hands pounding on my windows. This fear was very hard to face last time. Now, I know how my Divergence works, though. I tell myself that the door and the windows are locked and unbreakable. I'm safe. Tobias right behind me, I walk up to the charred man and give him my friendliest smile. He can't reach me. I'm safe. My heartbeat slows down enough, and the room fades out of view. When my surroundings are less blurry, I see people standing before me. Caleb. Uriah. Simulation Tobias. Christina. Mom. Dad. Mom... Dad... I wish you truly were here.
Thank God. I'm over my affection-fear. That would have been... awkward, to say the least. Then, I hear a gun cock behind me, and I freeze. Not real. Not real. It's a simulation. Not real. I feel how a gun is pushed into my hand.
"Do it. You have five seconds." That voice again. I panic slightly. But the real Tobias takes my other hand between his.
"Do you want me to do it?" I manage a tight smile. He has no idea.
"No. I have a plan." Before he can react, I turn around and shoot into the dark. I don't hear anything. I can't hear Tobias, or the new bullet that automatically clicks into place. I only hear my own heartbeat. My breathing. But I don't hear a countdown. I killed that person. Whoever it was. I smile, this time for real. And then, their arms are around me, grateful for not shooting them, and I can hear again.
I blink, and they disappear. I look at Tobias, a carefully constructed annoyed look on my face. He made me go through it again. Bastard. He helped me through it though, it wasn't as bad as the first time I had to do it.
"Happy now?"
"Yes. Thank you for sharing this with me, Tris. The way you handle all this is... impressive, to say the least."
"Thanks. Jeanine helped me perfecting it though." He looks at me, slightly puzzled. (Understatement of the year.)
"What are you..."
"She tried all kinds of simulations on me, you know, she was developing one that even the Divergent wouldn't be able to resist. She failed every time, and I learned a lot about the things I can do in simulations."
"Oh. She used you as a lab rabbit?"
"Yeah, but it helped me, as you saw. Now, let's go have dinner." I walk away, with Tobias trailing after me, completely dumbfounded. I smile. At least he isn't mad anymore.