Having a heart is different. I haven't had one since I was a child, and most of the time, I don't know how to act. Even when I was a child, I was pretty stoic. Inquisitive, too; Vexen told me as much, and said I never had any fear. Apparently, when creatures similar to the heartless came to our world, I merely looked at them as they surrounded me. I don't remember the incident well; perhaps I was too interested to notice any danger, or perhaps it was just childhood naivety. Children wander off all the time without thinking about consequences. "They aren't afraid to gamble," Luxord would say.
Or maybe I didn't care. My parents had died when I was young—I can't even remember how. Such emotional things have been pushed aside across the years. I suppose such things could trigger suicidal behavior. Everyone does always make fun of my "emo hair". Whatever the reason, apparently I was saved by a boy with a keyblade, who Vexen says bears an uncanny resemblance to Roxas. That's when Vexen first became interested in the keyblade.
Having emotions after so much time is definitely different. At times, I act largely the same, and at other times, I act impulsively, as if I'm a child again. My emotions seem to go crazy at times. Several other members say the same thing. It seems odd; now that I think about it, it's possible that the Kingdom Hearts we created may actually have been holding captive the hearts we sought so badly.
Yes, I'm thinking a lot more freely now. Xima's comments made me realize how we were all going through the motions here in Organization XIII—speaking of which, why haven't we changed that name? We have more than 13 members now.
Anyway, all of us remember waking up here, at the World that Never Was. I even remember the day Xima and the others were inducted…
All 13 members stood in their respective chairs, Xemnas smiling widely as several female figures walked into the middle.
"Good tidings, friends. We have seven new members that have been chosen to wear the coat. Those with the blessings of the planets…"
Of course, that was a false memory. I haven't really seen Xemnas since awakening. And I actually awoke in Hollow Bastion, where I was turned into a Nobody. I remember how it happened now, vividly; Xehanort had been the culprit. He had turned us into Heartless and Nobodies after some experiment we did.
And I wasn't entirely sure, but…I think he had a Keyblade. This is something I should share with Isa…
I make fun of Zexion being emo lol.