I am so happy you all liked it! Absolutely thrilled infact.

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And this is one of my fav chapters EVER!

It is a longer one.

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Chapter 8

The Things You Do To Survive

"James Potter! James Potter!" Came a frantic voice from somewhere on Sirius' bed

Lily looked at James, confused as he dove over the bed searching for something. He reappeared with his hair mussed and his shirt disheveled, out of breath and talking into a mirror. His appearance made Lily wonder how many times she had assumed he was snogging when in all reality he had been romping around like an overgrown puppy.

"What!" he replied to the mirror slightly panicked.

"Where are you! Is Pete with you?" Sirius' voice shouted from the piece of glass.

"I am locked in our dorm. He isn't here, I don't know if he is back yet…Where are you?"

"Shit, I was so close, I am in the common room, Alice, Morgan and Kingsley are in here too. I stopped to find out about tryouts, damn I should have come straight up. I am sorry you are in there alone." Sirius said dismally.

James glanced up at Lily, she couldn't tell if it was amusement or trepidation on his face before he spoke.

"Uhm well, I am not alone." James said softly.

"Really…Whom do you have in our room Prongsie and should I wait for a go ahead after the doors open before coming up?"

James' entire face turned red.

"No…No it isn't anything like that…I am in here with Lily."

"Lily? Lily who? Wait… Lily…Lilly Effing EVANS! You are stuck in our room with bloody EVANS!" Sirius shouted. "We have got to get you out of there, you won't last ten minutes she hates you. Ohmymerlin Ohmymerlin…Someone get Minnie here right now. James and Evans are stuck together in our dorm this cannot be a good thing." They could hear him shout to the room at large.

The mirror went black and almost instantly the door started shaking and rattling on its hinges. They seemed to be hexing it open from the outside.

"You idiots that isn't going to work I already tried it. You all heard Dumbledore." Lily said through the door, irritation plain in her voice.

James stood and walked over to her.

"Please don't kill him Evans, I need him." Sirius wailed.

"James just don't talk, keep you big mouth shut and you won't get hurt. Just keep your mouth shut." Alice shouted.

Lily rolled her eyes and James laughed.

oOoOoOoOoO

They had been locked up for at least an hour when the walls shook again and the fire that had been in the grate went out. James' snap card castle fell to the ground and exploded in front of him as Lily jumped up off the rug and knocked it in her wake.

She ran to the window and looked out. James was alarmed by the look of terror in her eyes as she turned back around.

"The mark. Its there. James its right over the town." She stammered.

He stared at the normally unshakeable girl in front of him until tears started to spill from her eyes. He stood and walked over to her and reached to wipe the tear from her face, she slapped his hand away.

"Get off me!" She shouted.

"Lily, calm down. It is going to be alright." He replied without letting go.

"How in the bloody hell is it going to be alright!" She screamed.

"Lils! It will be fine even if Voldemort himself breaks down this door I will keep you safe I swear." James said, trying to pull her into him to calm her down.

"You are so bloody arrogant. You couldn't face him. I couldn't face him, we would both die. Don't be a git Potter. I am not scared for me anyways. What about my mum? My sister? What about our friends that are out there in danger?" she cried, raking her fingernails down her face.

"Lily, they will be fine, they will fight, you are getting irrational you have to calm down before you have a panic attack. You have to breathe Lily." He gave her a little shake trying to get her attention.

It didn't work she was dissolving on the spot quickly and as another blast rattled the castle she screamed and started to shake. James wasn't sure if the door was shaking from the battle in Hogsmede or their friends that could hear the screaming from inside the room, all he could pay attention to was the hysterical girl in front of him. As her sobs got louder and she tried harder to shake her arms free he did the only thing he could think to do.

As irrational and dangerous as it was, he pulled her to him and crushed his lips against hers. She instantly stopped fighting. Probably out of shock, he thought. But then he found it was he who was in shock when he felt her lips move against his and she began kissing him back. He let her arms go and placed a hand at her back holding her against him, he held them both standing with his other hand pressed against the stone wall.

His mind had gone completely fuzzy, the only thing that could hold his attention was her body pressed against his, her fiery hair that was getting tangled into both of their faces. He registered slightly as he picked her up and sat onto a bed with her in his lap, their kiss softened in that moment and then the shouting on the other side of the door became apparent.

"Lily! Lily! James! Somebody bloody answer us, Merlin don't let them have killed each other."

They broke apart and looked at each other, both panting for breath. After a minute Lily stood up, flustered and embarrassed. James scurried backwards farther onto the bed, that happened to be Sirius'.

"Lily I am sorry, I didn't mean to do…Well that…Please I am sorry." He plead.

"I…I…I don't know what to say to you." She responded in a voice very unlike her own.

"I know, I won't tell I swear it. I swear I won't say anything." He stammered as he ignored the shouts of "James Potter!" coming from his pocket.

"It never happened, Lily I swear."

She sat down on the bed behind her and fell back.

"This blanket smells like you." She said dully.

"Uhm…It's my bed?" James said, very confused.

"So whose bed were we uhm…you know on?" she asked, very red in the face.

He chuckled.

"Sirius'. He would kill me if he knew."

Sensing that the imminent danger had passed, he laid down too, albeit very slowly.

"Can I ask you a question?" she said quietly.

He noticed that the screaming had stopped from the stairwell and that his pocket remained silent. He hoped their friends were alright.

"Always." Was his only reply

"Are you scared? Tell the truth!" she whispered

"Of this? The war and all that? No, I am not. I can't really change anything right now you know? One day it will be on my doorstep and I will have to face it and I know my choice already, I don't fear what I know. I know I will fight for what is right. I will fight for my friends, and the people I love, and my family. I am not scared to fight or to stand up for that. I am proud.

Now, of you I am terrified." He said with a grin, he noticed her look over at him with a smirk.

"Ok, my turn, and be honest mind you. Why are you always so mad at me?" he asked.

"Are we playing a truth game now?" she hedged with a giggle.

"Well we have to do something to pass the time and you started it so, quit stalling and answer the question."

She contemplated her answer for a minute.

"It is impossible for me not to be mad at you, you are so bloody irritating, and arrogant as all get out."

"I am not arrogant." He argued

"Yes you are. You bully everyone and laugh about it. All of your pranks on the slytherins are ridiculous." She countered, trying to keep her temper under control.

"No, I don't bully them, I react when they get me or my mates, that is only fair, do you want me to go tattle and get them all thrown out of the school instead?"

"You are so arrogant that you are jealous when your friends get boyfriends. Alice was terrified to tell you about Frank. She fretted about it all summer long, I thought she was going to lose her mind."

"That isn't fair, I reacted just fine when she told me. It isn't my fault that she overreacted about it, I was and am perfectly happy for her even if it is a bit weird that she snogged me first and is now snogging my older cousin and doodling their names together." He replied.

"Wait…You snogged Alice? My Alice! When? Where? Why don't I know about this? And now we? Best friends aren't supposed to snog each other's exes." She rambled.

"Uhm, I thought you knew. I assumed she told you. It wasn't like we dated, that wasn't it at all, just for the first couple of weeks this summer was it. It was just for fun, something to do you know. We never were dating or serious or anything like that. I am not her ex." He stuttered in response. Shit Allie was going to kill him. "Anyways that shows, I am not jealous, or arrogant."

"You are arrogant, you think you are the hottest thing to walk the halls. Thus snogging random girls for fun." She retorted as if her point was clenched just then.

He shook his head.

"No, that would be Sirius. I do not think I am hot. In fact I think I am too skinny and my eyes are a terrible color. My smile is crooked and lets not even talk about my hair. Merlin knows it is always a mess and there is no helping it. Not to mention I am constantly making a fool of myself with girls, well girl. I can't be around you without looking like an arse. And furthermore Allie is hardly a random girl, I have known her all my life."

She looked at him stunned, he was the most confident person she knew, well besides Sirius, he had her there.

"Well, you think your bum is the greatest thing to touch a broom in history." She countered.

"No, not quite. But in this school? Right now? Yes, I am the best flyer. I am damn good at it. I am the best in this school at it. You really can't deny that Lily. It is a fact.

"And that James Potter was arrogance." She huffed.

"No, that was confidence, quidditch and school work are the two things I am certain of. I am good at it and I am not going to pretend I am not." He shrugged.

"Ok, ok, we can come back to your arrogance later. What do you want to do after school?" she asked.

"I want to play quidditch. I love it. I love the way it makes me feel when I fly. Like nothing can hold me back, like it is only me and the air and nothing anyone says can hurt me. You should let me take you flying."

"Erm…No." she responded quickly.

"Ok, how about you? What does the brilliant Miss Evans want to be when she is a grown up witch?"

"It is stupid. You will think I am dumb. Lets just say I will be a healer that is what everyone thinks and what will likely happen right?" she replied.

He noticed her pink cheeks when he glanced over at her. He rolled to his side to face her, the sight of Lily Evans snuggled into his bed and pillows took his breath away a bit.

"I thought this was a truth game. I told you, even though I am pretty sure you think it is dumb to want to be a quidditch player." He said.

She sighed and pulled a blanket over her face.

"I just want to be a mum. That is all. I want to have a perfect baby with the perfect guy and be happy. But it isn't going to happen, and I shouldn't want to be a mum when women just want to have careers and stuff, right?"

"Why won't it happen? I can think of a lot of guys that would happily make a baby with you." James answered feeling his own face go red.

She giggled before asking her question.

"I am sure you can Potter. Why do you always have to act up? Pranking and stuff?"

He looked a bit taken back by this.

"Well, and this is completely between us, but it makes us all happier. Some of us don't have the greatest life. And it keeps our mind off of it. It is also fun to see other people laugh."

"James, I have been at your house, and met your parents, you have a great life."

"I wasn't talking about me, although, they are gone a lot, and always in danger and I think about it…All of the time. But the other guys, they don't have it so great at home. Siri, has it really bad. What is your saddest memory?"

"No, that one is too personal." She refused shaking her head.

"C'mon, you tell me yours and I'll tell you mine…" he chanted.

She couldn't hold back the giggle.

"You sound like we are six and experimenting."

"I mean we can play that game instead if you want to." He said waggling his eyebrows at her.

He ducked the pillow as she answered.

"My dad…He left my mum the summer after second year. That morning we woke up and he was gone. That is it. He just left. He didn't even ask if I wanted to go with him. We were really close. He knew I wouldn't want to stay with Tunia, and mum. I mean mum loves me but she doesn't get any of this you know?"

"That is, well it is aweful, I am sorry. My saddest memories aren't my own really. And again, this goes no where. Watching Remy miss his mum. She left him like your dad left you. He misses her a lot. He cries for her in his sleep and it feels like someone is stabbing me. And Siri well he has it bad. Everytime I see him bruised and beat after getting to my house after his…I want to kill them. And I know something is up with Pete and his family but he won't let us around them so there is no way to know but I hate the look he gets in his eyes when they come up. It makes me sad to know they aren't happy."

"You care more about them than you do yourself." She said, James thought it sounded like a question but he did not reply

"Tell me your biggest secret." She said with a grin on her face.

He opened his eyes and looked panicked for a second but smoothed it into a calm face immediately.

"I just snogged Lily Evans." He said with a smirk.

He dodged another pillow.

"No, really. Your biggest secret."

"I am an illegal animagus and I turn into a stag at least once a month." He replied with a completely straight face.

To which Lily laughed.

"Be serious, this is a game of truth James Potter!"

"You do not want me to be Sirius, he is much more roamy hands than I am." he joked.

"That is lame, and answer the question."

He sighed deeply.

"I can't it isn't my secret to tell."

"Well I will assume it has to do with Remus, since earlier you told me he was visiting his sick mum and you just told me that his mum left him."

James looked panic stricken.

"Please Lily, don't say anything to him. He will kill me. And it will hurt him a lot that I told someone that. He just, well he is really sick and he has treatments every month and they make him ill and he doesn't want people to know, please don't say anything." He begged.

"I won't. I won't say anything, I like Remus, he is my friend too."

"What are you scared of? Why can't you be a mum? You said that before and it sounded like you were so certain that you couldn't be a mum, like you were almost scared to be one."

"I…I am only telling you this because you talked to me about Remus and Sirius and I know that was hard for you. I just can't marry someone, I don't want to end up alone and raising a child that way. If my dad can leave me than anyone will. Daddies are supposed to love their daughters more than anyone else ever will, if he didn't love me enough to stay, no one will."

He could see the moonlight from the window sparkle off of the tears in her eyes. He did not reply to her answer, knowing there was nothing he could say to help her.

"Why can't you be normal like this all the time?" she asked finally turning to look at him.

He chuckled.

"I am normal like this all of the time, with the guys that is. I just can't talk around you. For fuck sake Lils you are effing gorgeous. I can't think straight when you are around."

"See, you always have to try and hit on me or ask me out, this friend thing is nice but you have to ruin it."

"I wasn't hitting on you. I was being honest. I can't help it that I think you are beautiful. I can't make that go away. But you are right, the friend thing is nice. You are alright to talk to when you aren't screaming at me Evans."

"And you are pretty alright when you aren't asking me out Potter."

At that moment the door to the room burst open and several people spilled into the dorm. Dumbledore, McGonagal, a harassed and worried looking madam Pomphrey, Sirius, Alice, Pete and Remus all fell in behind them.

Both Lily and James sat straight up looking around themselves nervously. Surely they didn't need so many people to tell them they could get out now.

"You are alive! We were certain when you didn't respond that Evans had done you in." Sirius shouted as he leapt onto James knocking him off his bed with the force.

"You are a bloody prat Sirius Black." James said shaking his hair out as he stood up.

"Well Mr. Potter, Miss Evans, it seems your friends should have had more faith in you both. I am glad to see you both unscathed. As is Poppy here. See you at dinner, it starts in fifteen minutes." Dumbledore said taking the nursemaid's arm and leading her out of the room.

"I am surprised but pleased that this room is still standing you two, ten points to Gryffindor apiece." McGonagal said as she left the room.

James and Lily looked at each other stunned.

"Wow, you two I am impressed. Way to go Lils!" Alice said bouncing up to her.

"I can not believe you!" Lily shrieked with a glare on her face."

"Me either!" James said indignantly, looking daggers at Alice.

"What did I do?!" Alice said, shocked.

"How could you have not told me you snogged Potter?"

"How could you have been so embarrassed that you didn't tell your best friend that we snogged!"