Owl, Horse, Shark!
Disclaimer: OMFG, I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn!
Note: 3 dots is a time skip. Italics are thoughts in first person.
Chapter 2: Newspaper-Writing Freaks
Squalo ambled through the corridors of Pace Mafia School with his hands in his green trouser pockets and looked up at the wooden ceiling. "Where's that Minerva….?" He mumbled to himself. He heard footsteps behind him – lots and lots of footsteps. Am I still asleep, he thought, my ears are ringing really badly right now…wait…
The footsteps grew louder and louder as Squalo turned around. "What the?" he saw Dino running through the corridors for what looked like his life. He's running through the school for his life…while being chased by…everyone…except him.
"Squalo! Help!" Dino shouted while he was sprinting. Surprisingly, Squalo thought, he hasn't tripped yet. "Heeeey! Squalo!" Squalo snapped out of his thoughts when he saw the badges on the students chasing him.
Oh my god...it's the Newspaper-Writing Freaks.
Squalo stepped forward and grabbed Dino's jacket. He hurled Dino behind him and the crowd stopped. "Oi, whaddya want with Dino?!" he shouted at them.
A boy their age (but half the height) stepped forward with a (fake) microphone with a label on it. He pointed the speaker to Squalo as other students began taking photos, "Superbi Squalo, you were there when Dino confessed to Minerva right?"
"I didn't confess! I just gave back her phone!" Dino rebutted.
"Be quiet!" the kid said, "I'm asking Superbi Squalo!"
Squalo had his head down and then started chuckling. Then he jerked his head up a little and started cracking up. "Dino didn't confess! What are you talking about?!"
"Don't lie!" the kid's cheeks started turning red.
"Oh crap, he's mad," Squalo stopped laughing, turned around, started running and dragged Dino's jacket along with him.
"After them!" the kid ordered.
Dino scrambled along behind Squalo as they sprinted through the wooden corridors past the classrooms. One of the doors opened and out came Signor Fesso with his little round glasses and unsaturated blue suit. "What do you think you're doing?!"
"OUT OF THE WAY, OLD MAN!" Squalo didn't waver as he reached his hand in front of him and pushed him down. Signor Fesso yelped as he fell to the ground and everyone trampled on him.
…
"Hey Squalo! We've been running for like 2 minutes now! Where are we going?!" Dino asked as they ran through the garden and up another flight of stairs. Squalo dragged on up the stairs pulling Dino behind him, starting to pant, "Don't worry, we're nearly there."
They came to a large building made of marble when they stopped. Squalo let go of Dino's jacket and reached for a large marble door handle. He pushed the door open and walked into a ballroom with red velvet carpet that led up more stairs and then split outwards up even more stairs. Diamonds on the chandeliers glistened while the sunlight shone into the room through the overly large windows.
"Squalo! Dino!"
Minerva ran down the left stairs and then down to the floor. She sprinted towards Squalo and Dino. "Did you lose them?" Minerva asked them. They both nodded and then Dino spoke, "Where is this?"
"This is the old ballroom, it's really big isn't it?" Minerva answered.
Dino looked around, "It's really empty…"
"It's because they never use it anymore," Squalo began, "Nowadays they use the one that's closer to the bridge. Minerva and I hide here sometimes to escape the newspaper-writing freaks or when we just want some peace and quiet."
"Now that you're here Dino," Minerva said, "you better not tell anyone that we're here," she tilted her head and smiled sweetly yet Dino found it very dangerous and threatening – which was exactly what it was. Squalo looked at him and smiled. Then he turned back to Minerva, "Don't worry about it, he won't tell anyone."
…
Minerva walked to her desk the next morning and saw a newspaper. She picked it up and read the headline:
TOP NEWS: 'USELESS DINO' CONFESSES TO MINERVA SAGGEZZA.
She flipped the page to the next article:
SUPERBI SQUALO ASSAULTED SIGNOR FESSO.
Her face grew blank as she read every single title:
9TH VONGOLA BOSS AND HIS FOUR SONS VISITING PACE MAFIA SCHOOL IN TWO MONTHS.
CAVALLONE FAMIGLIA NEEDS A NEW BOSS CANDIDATE, USELESS DINO NOT GOOD ENOUGH – SIGN UP AT EVENTS RECEPTION.
Minerva's hands crunched together and crumpled the newspaper. She growled as she crushed it into a ball and ran towards the window that faced the bridge. The window snapped open as she placed one foot on the sill outside as she saw Squalo and shouted, "OI SQUALO! YOU MIGHT WANNA READ THIS!"
Squalo looked up and ran towards the wall, "Yeah, pass it here!" Minerva chucked it down and it landed in Squalo's hand. Bit by bit, he uncrumpled the newspaper and read it carefully. He snapped and he shouted back up at Minerva, "HEY, IS THIS A JOKE?!"
"NOPE. AT LUNCH TIME-" she continued to shout.
"At lunch time what?" Dino walked up to Squalo.
Minerva started her sentence again, "AT LUNCH TIME, WE SHALL INITIATE OPERATION EXPLOITATION X!"
"What's Operation Exploitation X?!" Dino shouted back up at Minerva.
"I'LL TELL YOU AT RECESS AT OUR SECRET PLACE. NOW HURRY UP OR YOU'LL BE LATE!"
Squalo and Dino heard the bell ring as the nodded to each other and ran to their classroom.
…
"Dino, read today's newspaper," Minerva handed another copy of the issue to Dino in the ballroom. The moment he read the headline, his face grew serious and his blonde hair shaded his eyes like the time he first talked to Minerva. Suddenly…
"What the hell is this?!" Dino crumpled up the newspaper in his hand into a ball and threw it to the ground. "First of all," Dino raised his finger, "I didn't confess to Minerva! Secondly, what do they mean I'm not good enough to be the next Cavallone Boss?! And they last five words, 'sign up at events reception'. What do they mean sign up?! They can't just sign up to be boss of the 3rd most influential ally of the Vongola Famiglia, which is the most powerful mafia family in the world! The hell is up with that?!"
Minerva nodded, "That's exactly why we're going with Operation Exploitation X."
"Yeah, you still haven't told me about that," Dino pointed out.
"Operation Exploitation X," Minerva began, "Is a specially formed plan that Squalo and I devised ourselves to use against the newspaper-writing freaks and the newspaper-writing freaks only."
Squalo continued, "When Minerva and I first came here, we stole the key to the archives at the bottom of the school and created our own. The archive is constantly updated with news, profiles and all that stuff."
"So what are we exactly exploiting?" Dino asked.
"Good question," Minerva said. "Before everything is transferred to paper documents, they start off on a super computer where every little thing is recorded."
"And by every little thing they mean everything. There are cameras everywhere around the school and they have colour and sound. That means that if there was a camera in this ballroom – which there isn't – they could hear what we're talking about right now and they would tell those newspaper idiots about our plan." Squalo explained.
"That's another reason why I picked this as our secret hideout and also I told you not to tell anyone."
"So by everything you mean things like," Dino guessed, "like if I said that I ate Cheerios today and a camera recorded it, the super computer would say: Dino of the Cavallone Famiglia had Cheerios for breakfast?"
"Yes," Squalo and Minerva replied bluntly.
"Then how do we use that kind of information against the newspaper-writing freaks?"
"Even you would know," Minerva began, "that every single Newspaper-freak is either a nerd and/or a complete loser, maybe even more than you."
"But wouldn't that mean that the cameras have artificial intelligence but can misunderstand things just like humans do?"
"Understood or misunderstood, we can still use it. Just like how they still thought that Dino confessed to me even though that he and Squalo clearly stated that Dino was only giving back my phone."
"Then why is there an X at the end?" Dino asked.
"I don't know, we just thought it sounded cool," Squalo replied. Minerva nodded in agreement.
"Now then," Minerva turned to the door, "we start at 1 o'clock, fifteen minutes after lunch starts and 45 minutes before it ends."
"It's 11 o'clock," Squalo looked at his mobile.
"We have two hours of class left. Well that sucks, we have Signor Fesso for history…." Minerva walked out the door into the sunlight while Squalo and Dino followed her.
HEEEEEY GUUUUUYS! How ya doin'? :D Eeeeh...had a nice day today? Hmm...this message is gonna be short today.
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