This is immediately following the last chapter of RR. As such, I should have uploaded it sooner :P I had it written in my notebook, but I forgot to ever type it out until now. I also realized afterwards that I already did a chapter for Zexion, but I don't like to look back, so I don't care if I've repeated myself :P

I was a child when I lost my heart; for a majority of my life, I didn't have one. I didn't grow up with a heart; that lack of emotion, that emptiness…it's what I'm used to. In fact, I hardly came to think of it as empty anymore; empty seems to imply that something belongs there. Void is better; the empty is natural; nothing is supposed to be there.

How emo does that sound? No wonder Xigbar always teases me.

Yet, it's true. I'm not even sure I truly wanted a heart; the concept of having one was almost foreign, nearly forgotten. The only memories I had of having a heart were like the dream of a dream. I did not remember enough of emotions to even feign them properly.

However…that drive to push forward, that drive to learn everything I possibly could…that stuck by me. That, combined with having no heart could make me cruel, sometimes feeling as if hearts were worthless. No, I see now; I looked down upon those with hearts. So easily manipulated. I was above all that. I could see through to the facts, while scheming and laying illusions of my own upon others. I never really wanted a heart. It was just a convenient goal to work towards, one that allowed all my research to move forward.

And now…I don't know where I stand. I wonder if any of us in the Organization really planned that far ahead—to how we would live, what we would do, after we finished our Kingdom Hearts and became whole. Sometimes, the heart is so easy to ignore…it's no different from before. But at others…emotions come forth unbidden, trying to push me towards actions I would never have previously considered. The fact that we can be so ruled by hearts and emotions is unsettling. Is that how a heart works? I sympathize with Xima, who feels that she would be better without a heart. To not be controlled by such a fickle, impractical thing would be ideal. Lacking a heart keeps you grounded in reality. Keeps us moving forward, undistracted by such meaningless things…

Meaningless things. I don't even know what I'm talking about that's distracting me. Or if distractions are all they are. Is that really how I feel about them?

Life…dreams…hopes…are they merely illusions to bewitch the heart, to trick us into moving forward, despite how meaningless the path its pulling us towards? Does not having a heart really help us see through these illusions?

Or…is the real illusion that we don't need such things? In the end, are these emotions that I once termed as meaningless…are they what truly makes life worth living?

I've really been playing favorites with these things...I've made up head-canon back stories for only about half of Orgy XIII, and the other half I couldn't be bothered. I'll take any requests if anyone's dying to have a certain character written about, and I'll think up something, even if its like a short two-sentence thing like the actual secret reports from Days.

Also can I take a moment to randomly say I love Riku's characterization through DDD. In kh1, he was mean and a bad guy, but he was badass. CoM? Still kind of a mean bad guy, and even though he was struggling with his darkness, there was no real punishment or even real guilt over what he'd done. But he was badass. Days/KH2: became emo, carbon copy of Cloud. Which was good, he should feel plenty of guilt over what he's done and should repent by becoming what he hates.

DDD? He's over himself and back to being a badass. But he's a righteous, good guy badass. DO you know how hard that is to pull off? "Are you a nightmare? Because if you are...I'm what nightmares fear!" "Ansem! Become a part of my heart. A part of the light!"

Do you know how hard it is to make the light badass like this? OMG LIKE :OSDJNFSOJFH"SDJFSDFJISDF sure, he hasn't actually had to be literally punished for his misdeeds, but hey, everything's back to normal and he's a good guy, no harm no foul.