Yeah, yeah, yeah…I know, I know—it's been a long time, well…life got in the way. Shit happens. Anyway, the superstars have all been well-rested and so, of course, with THAT said, you KNOW we have to join up with Vince in his hotel room, where his wife, Linda, is sucking his dick…

Vince: Oooh…oooh…yesssss, that's it, *gasp*OOH…right there…

Two minutes pass…

Vince (getting close to blast-off): O-ok, Linda…I think—I think I'm about to…HRRRGH…L-Linda, honey stop..

A couple seconds later still…

Vince: Alright, Linda! You'd better stop, you're going to ruin your birthday—you're going to ruin your BIRTHDAY!

Linda: What? What's wrong, Vince?

Vince: You almost ruined your birthday, dammit! When I say stop, I want you to STOP! You know that shit feels good!

Linda: Well, you WANTED me to…

Vince: You almost drained my grapefruits, dammit!

Linda: Well aren't YOU supposed to be the "genetic jackhammer"?

Vince: Don't you piss me off, Linda—I'm Vince McMahon, DAMMIT!

Linda: I don't care if you're Vince Lombardi…now, It's MY birthday—so, I want YOU to handle your business…dear.

Linda sits back and opens her legs, Vince cringes a bit and as he inches closer, he can smell the odor…

Vince: Dammit, Linda—don't you wash yourself down here? It smells like a public restroom down here!

Linda: Shut up and eat—I'm LINDA McMahon…dammit.

Vince inches closer and he dry heaves a couple times before timidly sticking his tongue out…

Linda: Well, what're you waiting on?

Vince: Look…don't rush me!

Linda: Look, either YOU'RE gonna' eat IT, or IT'S gonna' eat YOU!

Vince: But…but Linda, honey—I could buy you a new car, a new jet, your own wrestling fed—ANYTHING but THIS!

Linda: No, YOU asked me what I wanted for my birthday and THIS is what I want, now start chowing down!

Vince: Dammit, Linda—your cooch looks like a hairy…smelly…fuckin'…STARGATE!

Linda: I'm waaaaaaitiiiiiing…

Vince: Alright, alright! I-I'm goin' in! You know, Linda—I understand why that one nurse said that Shane smelled like we got him from a fish market when he was born!

Linda: Meh-shut up! Always talking about your-your GRAPEFRUITS and how you're the "genetic jackhammer", and all. Genetic Jackhammer, my ass! That little…thing you call a "jackhammer"—hell, I could take my wedding ring off and it'd fit around THAT little thing!

Vince: Well, why is your pussy so damn deep? When we fuck, you're always moaning that stupid shit-"haaaarder, deeeeper—well, you know what, Linda? There IS no harder, there IS no deeper—I don't have like, 4 extra inches of dick on reserve or in a rainy day fund! This is it! Just take the pump and shut up! From now on, when you say that shit to me, I'm gonna' say—I'm gonna' say "smaller, tighter"!

Linda: Whatever—why is it that you allllllways ask me to say your name when we're doing it doggy? You're name's been Vince for 30 YEARS, now!

Vince: Oh yeah? Lemme' tell you something ELSE you do!

Linda: Ok what do I do, Vince?

Vince: Yeah, you're always whining and complaining about me taking too long to get a nut when I'm fucking you—well, let me tell you THIS—and I want you to pay close attention—I can get a porno mag, jack off, and come in like 5 minutes—why? Glad you asked—it's because I don't feel anything when I'm in your…dungeonesque pussy, THAT'S why! Linda, you're pussy is terrible! I buy you all the vinegar you need to make that kitty pucker and you don't even USE it!

Linda: Blah, blah, blah…you just HAVE to ruin everything special, don't you, Vince?

Vince: Whatever.

Vince eases in and starts licking around for a few moments, cringing as he's doing it. A few moments later, he smells something ELSE…

Vince (sniffing and grimacing): Linda, you smell that?

Linda: No, I don't smell anything.

Vince: How the hell do you not smell—wait! WAITA DAMN MINUTE!

Linda: What is it, NOW?

Vince: I KNOW, as sure as my name is Vincent Kennedy McMahon, that you did NOT just fart!

Linda (trying not to laugh): No, I-I didn't!

Vince: Yes the hell you did, too! I can tell you've been at the garlic spaghetti again, too! I can always tell with you because your farts always mimic what you ate earlier!

Linda: Vince?

Vince: Well what is it?

Linda: Quit stalling.

So, as Vince reluctantly goes back to…giving his wife her birthday present, we'll rejoin DX and Harry Potter, as they're getting some breakfast…

HBK: This looks like a pretty swanky spot, guys.

X-Pac: Yeah, I like these buffet-style restaurants.

HHH: Well, I plan to eat more pancakes and sausage than everyone, and I'm going over this whole restaurant—clean.

Harry: Well, I'm famished! I'm in the mood for some fish and chips with a side of malt vinegar.

X-Pac: What? For BREAKFAST?

Harry: Sure!

HHH (looking around): Where's the host? Are we supposed to seat ourselves?

HBK: Hmm…I think we are.

(So the guys find a clean table and sit down. The waiter appears and gives them their plates. HHH snatches his…)

HHH: …about damn time!

X-Pac: C'mon guys, let's eat!

(The boys approach the buffet. Harry IMMEDIATELY heads over toward the bacon and starts piling the bacon on his plate as a bewildered X-Pac looks on…)

X-Pac: Daaaaaaaaamn dude, you know you're not gonna' eat all that bacon! You got like 12 strips on your plate!

HBK: Pac, ease up—he's a growing boy!

X-Pac: But you and I both know he's not gonna' be able to eat all that!

HBK: Why is it that what's on Harry's plate seems to be making YOU full?

X-Pac: Dude, whatever.

(X-Pac takes 3 pancakes and heads over to the table)

HHH: Ok, everyone join hands as HBK will bless the food.

HBK: Father God, it's the Heart-BREAK KID calling! We just want to give you thanks for this food. I want to pray for those whose lives are a world of suck right now—like that Spike Dudley kid. I want to pray your mercy upon HHH as he pins all of your children…

HHH: YES, oh Lord!

HBK: …And I'd like to pray a special blessing on us, so that you may GIVE us the strength and the POWER to buy porn and alcohol. All this I ask in your name and for your sakes, AMEN! Let's dig in, guys!

(X-Pac starts pouring syrup all over his pancakes.)

HHH: Sean, wha—stop hogging all the syrup!

X-Pac: Man, there's plenty! Chill, dude.

HHH: Don't make me snatch the bottle from you!

X-Pac: Yeah, you and what army?

(HHH gets up and chases X-Pac all over the restaurant. Xpac throws the bottle…)

X-Pac: Harry—CATCH!

Harry: Got it! X-Pac, go long!

(HHH is stuck in the middle as Harry and X-Pac play a round of "monkey in the middle" with ol' Trips…)

HHH: C'mon guys, this is –this is immature! Let me get some syrup!

(HBK is humming his theme song to himself as he bites into a bagel, watching all of the carnage. Suddenly, the manager comes out…)

Manager: Hey, hey, hey—WHAT is this here?

HHH (pointing at X-Pac): HE started it!

X-Pac: No I didn't, YOU did!

HHH: Did not!

X-Pac: Did too!

HHH: Did NOT!

X-Pac: Did too!

HHH: Did NOT!

X-Pac: Did TOO!

HHH: Did not!

X-Pac: Did…NOT!

HHH: Did TOO—whoops!

Manager: Alright, alright, alright—the lot of you—out of my bloody restaurant! All 4 of you, OUT!

X-Pac: Fine! Your pancakes were rubbery and overcooked, anyway!

Manager: GET YOUR ARSES OUTTA' HERE! YOU TOE-RAGS!

HHH: See what you did, Pac?

HBK: Ok, enough guys—let's just go before the cops show up or something.

Harry: Hey Mr. Manager!

Manager: What is it, lad?

Harry: I just got two words for you!

Manager: Wha?

Harry (Crotch chopping): SUCK IT, BLOKE!

(The manager jumps toward Harry as Harry scurries out of the restaurant and into the waiting short bus.)

Let's pay a visit with Hulk and the gang, as they're now having breakfast…

Hulk: …so I was sayin', dude—Andre, you can't POSSIBLY drink 900 beers in one sitting, man!

Nash: Hahaha…and what'd Andre say?

Hulk: He said that if Wendi Richter can swallow 9 gallons of King Kong Bundy's sperm, that HE should be able to drink 900 beers, dude!

Snake: Damn…reminds me of Colonel Campbell's niece, Meryl.

Hall: Huh…what do you mean, mang?

Snake: Yeah, she used to LOVE to swallow.

Hall (raising an eyebrow): Yeah?

Snake: Yeah, she was a whore, man. We almost got married, too. She wanted her favorite song playing, too.

Nash: Yeah, what was that?

Snake: You know that one song by…um…that group Jagged Edge—Let's get Married, you know—"meet me at the altar in your white dress…something, something, something, so we might as well do it".

Hall: Yeah, mang, I heard that song before—it came out not too long ago, right?

Snake: Yeah, but she certainly didn't need to be wearing a white dress—my girl was a whore. It should be meet me in the altar in your RED dress—nasty motherfucker.

(The boys all have a good laugh, as Hall sips his beer.)

Hogan: I feel you, brah! My wife's a bit of a whore, herself. In fact, when my daughter, Brooke was a baby, dudes—I knew she'd grow up to be a freak!

Snake: Haha…why? How'd you know that?

Hogan: Well ya' see, brother Snake—Brookie never used to keep the bottle in her mouth. I mean, we'd give her milk but she just REFUSED to keep her bottle in her mouth, dude. Yeah, she'd always like to take the bottle out and squirt the milk all in her hair and all over her face, dudes! I did have to smile a little, though.

Otacon: Yeah, why'd you smile?

Hulk: Hahaha…I told Brookie that she was just like her mother, dude!

.

Aaaaand as the boys all have a bit of a laugh, we'll leave it here tonight.

Thanks for reading, and tune in next time—same Warrior time, same Warrior place, same Warrior channel!