Thank you for the reviews and for reading.

This chapter is for littlemissmoonbeam who sent me an awesome pic of my boys. James and Sirius look just like I imagine them to. Once I found it, I LOVE IT!

These are the two chapters that inspired the entire story.

Little bit of a rating warning, but not much….T+ probably maybe a light M but that is pushing it.

Chapter 19

Because I do

Somehow the middle of March snuck up on all of the Gryffindors but James. He had only been allowed to go to the hospital one time since the match and it hadn't made him feel much better to see his friend stuck in a bed, even if he was joking around like his normal self. The month seemed to drag by without Sirius.

On a high note, he had spent a lot of time with Lily, alone and with friends. He wasn't certain but she seemed happy with him. They had not talked about their relationship, or the fact that he had told her he loved her. She seemed to have either not heard him or ignored it completely, which did not make him feel better about the situation.

Early mornings were James' thing, he was out running everyday by 6 AM, this morning he was already down in the great hall brooding over his now cold porridge when he heard his friends' voices carrying from the staircase. It was rare for them to be this loud this early, as it couldn't be more than 7:30 and none of them were morning people. Either way, he was not in the mood to be boisterous at all. Today was not a good day for James Potter.

He looked down at his bowl and tried to chew on a piece of toast but only managed to crumble off the corner and leave a mess in front of him.

"Oi! Don't we have a rule about not getting the other one up for food?!" A voice boomed through the hall.

It was astonishing that James hadn't fallen off his bench he spun so fast towards the door. Standing there with a hand on each hip, looking for all the world, perfect, was Sirius Black.

James stared at him in shock as he walked over and sat down next to him.

"What? You really didn't think I was going to let them make me miss your 17th birthday. I thought you knew me better than that Prongsie." He said with a grin as he reached up and ruffled James' messy hair.

"What are you doing here?" James replied, obviously still in shock. "You, mum said, not till April."

"Mate I think we need to enroll you in an English course, that wasn't' even a sentence. And I told you, I wasn't missing your birthday. I may have pranked a few healers last week causing them to pretty much throw me out of the ward but meh I am here so it worked! Oh and mum says I can't have my wand this summer either." He said with a huge grin before taking James' toast from his hand and eating it. "I am so glad to have proper food again. They were starving me in there."

James just continued to stare at him while he ate the rest of the food in his bowl and proceeded to make his own plate as well.

"Earth to James." Remus said with a laugh before nudging his shoulder.

He turned and looked at him with a startled look on his face.

"Happy Birthday mate!" Remus said, handing him a small package.

James looked at the bright blue paper and looked back over at Sirius.

"We are opening the rest after classes. It was going to be a pain in the arse to carry them all down, and the big present just carried itself so that's why we brought it." He said with a smile.

James ripped the paper off and smiled at the red leather leash that was laying in his hands. Sirius looked over his shoulder and choked on his bacon.

"Absolutely not!" he said outraged.

James broke into the first true laughter in weeks.

oOoOoOoO

March was ended quickly in an outburst of pranks and mayhem. The professors were so relieved to see Sirius back, healthy and whole for the most part, and to see James acting like his normal energetic self, that they didn't even get detention. Though, there was the close call when Sirius had charmed all of the doors in the castle to render the Slytherins into frilly pink dresses all day. But really who could blame him, that was hardly the revenge he had in mind and as he was not allowed to play Quidditch for at least 4 months and James was benched for violence, they stood very little chance of winning against Ravenclaw.

With all of his pent up energy and anger finding an outlet with Sirius, Lily was happy to admit that James was actually fun to be around. They had spent the last month or so together a lot of the time but James was always a bit reserved and seemed to be a hundred miles away. Today they were together in the room of requirement, as Remus found it was called, and they were having a good time with each other. She couldn't believe that James Potter was actually in her life like he was.

James was sitting in a straight backed chair wearing his trousers, half undone and Lily was in her panties and his T shirt straddling him and playing with his hair. She was giggling at all of the ways she could make it stand on end, or curl around her fingers. Finally she just placed both hands in it and shook them all around, making it fall every which way.

"Who knew that I would like playing with your crazy hair?" she said with a laugh.

"I did." James responded cockily.

"You are such an arrogant git." She muttered before he pulled her face down so his lips could reach hers.

He moved his hands to her hips and pulled her down grinding her against him. She moaned as he dug his fingers into her sides.

"I lo…I…I am terrible at this." He said, pulling his hands up to his face and letting his head fall back over the edge of the back of chair.

Lily threw her head back and laughed before pushing herself harder against his groin, making him whimper in anticipation.

"I happen to think that you are fantastic at this." She said before kissing him forcefully.

He chuckled when she pulled away.

"Well this wasn't what I meant, but thanks for that. I meant I am terrible at this, us, as in the whole free agent thing." He replied as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"I think we are managing it fine."

"You are. I am not. I don't know how to not want to be with you Lils, do you get that? Just, go out with me. Make it official, no one will even be surprised, shit we can keep that a secret to if you want, just say yes." He implored.

"James you promised that we wouldn't talk about this, remember." She said softly as she leant her head forward to let it rest on his.

He ran his fingers gently over her neck and back.

"That was over 6 months ago. Things have changed Lily."

"So if you ever make me a promise I can assume that after a substantial amount of time you are going to break it?" she challenged.

He wrapped his arms around her tightly holding her against him.

"No, not most of them. I can think of one that I would keep forever. Till death do us part." He said with a grin.

She pulled herself back and glared at him.

"James Potter, we both just turned 17 we aren't old enough to get married." She said with a huff.

"Well then it is a good thing that I only proposed dating not marriage." He said with his usual cocky charm.

She rolled her eyes and stood up, making him scowl at the distance between them.

"Why do you want to date me? This works, we are doing fine, we are both happy."

"I want to date you because I love you." He said softly.

"No you don't" she said firmly before turning her back to him.

He cursed under his breath, stood and walked up behind her, pulling her against his chest, his arms wrapped around her midriff.

"Oh but Lily, I do. I have forever and I will for always. It won't disappear, it won't go away. Believe me, I have tried. I love you. With every single piece of me." He whispered into her silky ruby red hair.

"You don't even know what being in love is." She scoffed turning her head so he couldn't see the side of her face.

"I do to. I know that I love you."

She abruptly turned around and he could see unshed tears shining in her insanely gorgeous eyes.

"How, how do you know at 17 years old that you love me?" she asked, not trying to hide the bitterness in her tone.

He answered without even skipping a beat.

"I know that when you aren't with me, I wish you were. I know I would rather die than see you hurt. I know that my entire day revolves around seeing you. I know that I don't feel whole if you aren't here. I know that I love you because my chest feels like it is going to rip open when you act like you don't love me too."

"The same thing could be said of Sirius, or Remus or even Pete I would assume." She said with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Yeah, I guess so. But that is because they are the closest things to brothers that I have ever had. I do love them I guess, if you want me to say it that way, but you are different. I don't want to do any of the things with them that I want to do with you." He said with a rotten smirk as he stepped closer to her.

She laughed in spite of herself.

"Well I am glad to know that at least…But James that is lust not love. Though I can agree with the lust." She practically purred.

"It is not lust, though yes there is that too. I know just because I do. You love me too." He said confidently.

She scowled in response.

"Fine, don't date me, don't admit that you love me. Just go with me to Hogsmede tomorrow. Just give me one date." He said gently, leaning down and kissing her head.

"I can't." she replied with sadness in her eyes.

"Why not? Everyone has seen us together these last few weeks. It isn't like they will be surprised." He answered.

"I can't because I already said yes to someone else."

James watched her look away from him and saw a blush creep up her face. He didn't even know what to say to her. So he grabbed his belt from the floor and walked out of the room without saying anything.