So I don't really like this chapter, I am quite disappointed in it.

But I want it in here so I am leaving it.

Glad you like the quick updates.

This is a med rating so I guess a T or a T+

Chapter 32

Feelings

"Ssssshhhh it's alright Lily, shhh" he said putting his hand on the back of her head and looking at the pools of sick all around and on his bed willing himself not to get sick in response.

"Your bed." She whimpered.

"It's just a bed…and clothes…I…I…hmmm." James said, ending his sentence because his stomach was getting queasy.

Remus stepped in, kneeling down and meeting her at eye level.

"Lily, you are really sick, I don't need to examine you to know that, I am going to go to McGonagall and tell her how sick you are. James and Sirius are going to get you cleaned up and on my way I am going to let the house elves know that James needs new bedding and that you need something to eat. I'll be back, but until then, let James and Sirius help you alright?"

She continued to cry.

"Your shoes and slacks!"

"Really Lily, I wake up covered in mud and blood and completely naked once a month I think I am going to be alright. You need to get her in the shower, a cool one, it will lower her temperature and she needs cleaned up."

"And you want us to give her a shower?" James said dumbly.

"Well seeing as all of the girls are now in Transfiguration yes I think you should. And it isn't like you haven't seen her naked already. For Merlin's sake either take care of her or take her to the hospital wing." Remus said in frustration.

"We've got it, I'll even help." Sirius said urgently. "Do what you have to do."

Remus nodded and left the room.

"Since when are you great at taking care of sick people?"

" Since everytime you drink too much firewiskey and I don't, it's just that we usually only do it together so those times are rare. And I took care of Reg a lot when we were little and he was sick, my parents aren't exactly the comforting type. Just get her up and the bathroom Prongs." Sirius coaxed.

"I will avada you before I let you take a shower with her." James said bluntly causing Sirius to burst into laughter, even Lily chuckled.

By the time they had everything figured out James was shirtless and carrying a sleeping Lily wedding style into their shared bathroom. Sirius decided that a bath would be less exposing than a shower so he ran the water into the huge tub and closed the door behind him. His job was to go into Lily's room and find clothes for her to wear.

James sat Lily on the side of the tub and smiled grimly at her, she leaned against his shoulder.

"I can do this myself James." She barely whispered.

"Uhm, you can barely sit up Lils. Tell you what, you do it and if you need help I will help ok. I will sit here and you can lean on me, I'll close my eyes."

She smiled and started to pull her shirt over her head, she actually got it off before falling sideways back into James' arms. This was torture, he thought. His eyes were closed but he knew too well what she looked like naked, and her bare skin was wrapped with his arms and leaning against the side of his chest. He breathed deep as he felt her wiggle to slide in the water, he opened one eye to peek over at her.

"I can't make sure you aren't drowning if I can't see you." He said with a smirk. "Are you alright?"

"I'm dizzy."

"I am opening my eyes." He said firmly.

He did and looked directly into her face, her eyes holding his hostage. He held her shoulders tightly as she slipped into the water.

"James my panties are still on." She muttered.

He grinned.

"I know, I didn't figure it would be the greatest of ideas for me to strip you right now, or watch you strip. At least under the bubbles I can't see you."

He kicked off his shoes and stood, letting go of her for just a minute, pulled his wet, vomited on slacks off and threw them into the corner with her shirt, leaving his boxers on. Knowing that the water was anything but hot or even warm he stepped in behind her pulling her against him. She was like his own personal water heater.

"Lils, you are burning up."

"I'm cold." She mumbled.

"You have to take your panties off Lil, you puked all over them." He muttered nervously.

He didn't know if this would have been easier or harder if they hadn't already had sex, but either way he wasn't sure what to think about. The fact that her fever was so high she was shaking in his arms, and had thrown up all over him, or that she was about to be completely naked in his arms, clinging to him. She nodded her head in response to his statement and stood up, using the side of the bath for support, he tried to turn his head as to not see her but he was not quick enough and he felt like someone had glued him in position.

Yes she was sick but she was insanely gorgeous. No one could compare to her for him. He knew, he had tried. Morgan was the third girl he had shagged since Lily and now, after looking at her it was pretty pointless to try and make it what it wasn't, it wasn't Lily. He let his eyes roam down the deep curve in her back, over the flat planes of her stomach, to the tops of her thighs that he could see above the water. He watched her grip the side tightly her knuckles turning white, she looked like she was going to throw up again.

"Lily, are you alright?"

"I don't care, leave them on, the water will wash them." She said groggily her head lolling to the side a bit. She leaned back to sit down and threw up down her front and onto the side of the tub.

He sighed pulled her back into the bath, grabbed the side of the lacy briefs and pulled them off with little difficulty, her head was leaned against his chest, she had ended up in his lap. Naked, in his lap.

"Lily." He said.

There was no response at all.

"Lily!" he said louder.

She jumped a bit and started crying, she had fallen back to sleep that quickly in his arms.

"Shhhh, Shhh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Let's was you off and get you in your bed." He said lightly into her ear.

Biting his lip he took a cloth and wiped her shoulders and back, he felt like he couldn't breathe as he rinsed her stomach and chest, cleaning the vomit off of her. It was amazing how the sight of someone else's puke could make you sick until that someone was naked in your lap and that was all you could think about. His hand had gone motionless on her stomach, he was staring at the curve of her neck lost to all thought. A quick rap on the door jolted him from his daze.

"Jamie are you guys alright?" Sirius yelled from the other side.

"I am, she's really sick, she hasn't cooled of at all and is sleeping."

"In the tub?" Sirius said, confused.

"Yup, in the tub." James replied.

"Er…How are you going to get her out of there?" Sirius asked.

James hadn't thought of that, how was he supposed to wrap her in a towel while holding her.

"Uh, I don't know." He said honestly, Sirius laughed through the door.

"Do you need help?"

"She isn't exactly decent right now." James replied bluntly. "I can get her out, but I can't get her upstairs, I have not washed at all, and she puked again in here so I really need to step in the shower, I'll get her out, can you carry her up?"

"Sure. Tell me when to open the door."

James got off of the raised ledge and waded over to the steps. With Lily hoisted into his arms he climbed out. He walked to the shower and pulled his robe off of his hook with his teeth. Sitting on the floor and resting her in his lap he pulled his robe around her, it was huge, exactly how he wanted it if she was going to be in Sirius' arms. She woke briefly while he put her arms in. She met his eyes, confusion and exhaustion all over her face.

"Sirius is going to take you to bed. I am going to hop in the shower, and I will be up alright?" She just looked at him in response. "Siri, come in." he called.

Sirius walked through wearing one of James' Tshirts, as Lily had puked on his arm. James stood and lifted her with him. Sirius placed his arms against James' and took her against himself.

"Why is she in your robe?" Sirius smirked.

"Hers is too revealing, believe me I have seen her in it, it is short." He griped.

Sirius laughed and turned towards the door to take her to her room.

"Come on Lily bear let's get you settled for the night." Sirius muttered as he left.

Burying his face in his hands James walked over to the single shower and turned the water on as hot as he could, stripped off his boxers and stepped under. He pushed the water off of his face and groaned. How could he have put himself right back in position to have to get over her again? He had promised he wasn't going to do it, he swore he was going to get over her, but seeing her, holding her, feeling her lean on him and knowing that she wanted to lean on him broke down every wall that he had built. In his room when she had said his name his whole world crashed around him. How was he to stay away from her when she needed him? He couldn't be that guy.

He jumped when Sirius walked in and let the door snap shut behind him.

"Remus is here, he is trying to get her to drink something, she wants you, her fever is high James. Remus says we need to take her to the hospital, she is crying, she doesn't want to go."

"What am I supposed to do? She is bloody sick because of me." He said in exasperation.

"James you sound like Moony. Just go up there and convince her to go. She will listen to you."

James shut off the shower and reached for his robe, that was not there.

"Damn it, Lily is in my robe, throw me a towel."

Sirius threw a towel over the screen that blocked the inside of the shower. James came out, shaking the water from his hair with a towel wrapped around his waist. Realizing he had forgotten his clothes he huffed and walked out of the bathroom and up to his room to get dressed before going to see Lily.

He walked through his door to see Remus sitting on the side of his bed and Lily curled up in his robe tears on her face.

"You took her to my room!" James said as he turned to look at Sirius.

He raised his hands as if to say, how was I to know.

"I told you to put her in bed." James said exasperated

"I did." Sirius defended.

"I said in her room."

"No you said upstairs, I found her in your room, I put her back where I found her." Sirius shrugged.

James pinched his nose and went to his chest to fish out underpants and pants. Knowing he wouldn't be leaving her again he grabbed a pair of sweats and pointed at the door, intending for Remus and Sirius to leave the room. Once they stepped out he walked to the far side of the bed, away from where Lily was facing and pulled on his bottoms. Before donning a shirt he pushed the door open to let his friends in.

"So, McGonagall said to keep her here unless she gets worse then take her to Pomphrey, Alice and Marleen will be here in a bit to help you get her dressed, and I told Minnie that you and Sirius had been bystanders in a puking incident so she said as long as we read section 5 and complete an acceptable human transfiguration in the next class that she won't mark us out.

Do you want her here or the hospital?" Remus said, leaning against the door frame. Sirius was sitting on the desk chair, tipping it back on its hind legs. James sat on the bed beside Lily softly stroking the damp hair at her forehead.

"Lily, you need to go to the hospital wing."

"No, keep me here, with you."

"You are so sick Lils" he said

"Please." She barely whispered.

"If you get worse I am calling the nurse, understood."

She nodded slightly and looked queasy, James quickly jumped up.

oOoOoOoO

It was late and Lily had refused all attempts to take James' robe off or be put in her room. So far he hadn't left her side except to go to dinner, in which Alice laid in bed beside Lily and read a magazine, and Sirius sat with her so that he could take care of some head's stuff, which he was doing now. He was filling out the prefects schedule for the next month when Soryn came through the opening.

"Hey Soryn, what are you doing?"

"Is Sirius in here?" she asked bluntly.

Distracted by the papers in front of him, he answered without really putting much thought in it.

"Yup, he's in my room, the door is open you can go on in."

About a minute later Soryn came stomping down the steps Sirius running after her.

"It's not like that, she is sick, I am watching her for Jamie."

"Like hell you are, she is in a bath robe Sirius."

"Really, ask James, he would hex me before letting me touch Lily."

"Oh, you want me to ask Mr. I have no issue sharing my girlfriends?"

James' face went pink.

"That was different Soryn, you two were made for each other." He protested

"Bull shit. You were shagging Evans and needed somewhere to dump me so Sirius picked up for you." She said angrily.

James didn't know what to say, that was very close to what had happened.

"Not exactly." Sirius muttered.

"Er, duties are over, I am going to go check on Lily, Remus said her potion would be due in about an hour so I am going to give it to her and you two can use the office." James said, pointing his wand at the door for emergency settings and walking up to his room to escape the awkward situation.

He couldn't help but smile when he saw her buried in his blankets and wrapped in his robe still. He walked over and kissed her forehead, feeling the heat radiating off of her, just like his mum used to do to him. She seemed a little cooler but not by much. She mumbled and opened her eyes when he pulled away.

"Hey pretty girl." He said softly

She smiled at his familiar greeting.

"I feel like shit." She mumbled.

He couldn't stop the laughter that burst out of his mouth at her bluntness. He sat down beside her, she threw the blanket off, James tried to keep his eyes on her face, as the robe was thrown every which way and was only covering the most important places.

"Er, Lils, you are only wearing a bathrobe." He muttered, embarrassed.

"It's hot." She whined.

"You have a fever, madam Pomphrey said that this potion would help you sweat it out, you have had three doses and it's time for the fourth, she said you should be good to go by Friday if you take it all."

"It's hot." She whimpered again.

He smiled and kissed her temple.

"Temperature check?" she asked.

"Nope, just a kiss." He replied, she smiled slightly.

He stood and pulled his shirt off before climbing into the bed beside her. Pulling her up against him with her back to his chest, he rubbed her hair softly waiting for her to go back to sleep. Which she did quickly. He was so tired he started to drift off smelling her hair.

OoOoOoO

James woke up suddenly when Lily broke into a coughing fit. It had to be really late, he pulled his wrist up to look at his watch, 2:00AM. He looked over at Lily, she was drenched in sweat, the potion was obviously working, but she looked miserable. She was on her stomach, her head on his shoulder. The covers had been thrown to the floor and the robe that had been her security all afternoon was now being used as a pillow. Her bare leg was thrown over his waist, and his hand was resting along her nude side. He grabbed the sheet from over him and threw it over her bottom half, leaving her leg where it was, just resting his hand on her thigh. He breathed in deeply. He couldn't see how he was going to recover from this again.