This is certainly not all fluff. But parts of it are pretty flufftastic.

I don't own it.

Chapter 33

Honesty

Lily POV

Saturday morning broke bright and early and James was still sound asleep when Lily opened her eyes. He was wrapped around her one hand in her hair and the other splayed across her stomach. The chill of the morning air made her shiver so she wiggled back, closer into his chest. She loved that he was still sleeping shirtless, even with her in his bed with her. Yesterday she had just started feeling a bit better, she was even wearing pajama shorts and a camisole. Somehow she was still in James' bed though.

Feeling like she needed to move she sat up and stretched her arms above her head. Her movement caused James' hands to fall from her hair to her lower back and from her midriff into her lap. In reflex his hand gripped her thigh and she went breathless. The familiar tingling in her stomach was there again. She reached her hand out and ran her fingers through his hair. His eyes drifted open slowly, it took him a moment for him to wake up all of the way.

"Good morning." She said with a smile." Her hand still on the side of his hair.

He smiled and leaned up on his elbow, pulling his hand from her thigh.

"You look like you are feeling better." He observed.

"I am, I want a shower, I don't think I have had one since the morning we got back from the forest."

She noticed his entire face flush and he got nervous.

"Oh, well, I am certain that you want a shower after being so sick but you did get a bath on Wednesday afternoon. You got sick all over…well everywhere, myself, Remus and Sirius included. We had to get you cleaned up. I didn't know what else to do so I just uhm, well I was going to just sit there with my eyes shut but you were really out of it and kept falling asleep and Rem said we had to lower your temperature."

"James, stop rambling." She said with a grin.

"Right, well, and don't be mad, but I sort of gave you a bath, as in held you in my lap in the tub and washed you off, that is how you ended up in my robe when you woke up yesterday. It was more coverage than yours and Sirius carried you up here instead of your room. Don't be mad, I swear I didn't take any advantage." He said very quickly.

She was blushing but leaned forward and pulled his chin up forcing him to look at her.

"I could never be mad at you for taking care of me James. Thank you, for sharing your bed with me too." She replied softly, her fingers still touching his cheek.

"Lily, I…" he stopped and stared into her eyes, pulled her hand from his face and kissed her palm. "I would do anything for you. You know that. Besides, I already told you, you can share my bed anytime, turns out you are very comfortable to sleep with." He muttered into her hand.

She laughed pushed his hair from his eyes with her free hand, his lips still pressed against her other.

"I am going to take a shower, and brush my teeth, I think I will feel normal again if I do that."

He nodded but had a sad look in his eyes.

"What's wrong?"

He shook his head and released her hand.

"Nothing, I am fine, just glad you are feeling so much better." He said obviously forcing a smile.

Deciding to let it go she stood and stretched, it felt good to move.

"Lily, you really, really are absolutely gorgeous." He said, conviction lacing every murmur of his voice.

She laughed,

"I am so certain, with my mess of sick hair and grossness all over me."

"Your hair is always perfect, and I am the only thing that has been all over you since you had your last bath so I wouldn't be too concerned." He said nonchalant.

"Either way, I need a shower." She replied with a grin as she walked out of his door for the first time in 4 days.

James POV

He watched her walk out and fell backwards onto his pillows. His bed was going to feel very lonely now.

oOoOoOoOoOoO

"Damn it Remus! You are such a cheat!" James yelled as Remus beat him in yet another game of chess.

"I am not a cheat, you are just horrible at chess." He replied.

"Step aside Jamie, I will show him how it is done." Sirius said as he stood and walked over to the board. Remus smiled at the challenge.

James plopped onto the couch beside Lily making her laugh when she bounced a bit.

"What'cha doin?" he said with a smile.

"Well, I am trying to catch up on four days worth of work. Probably what you should be doing."

"Meh, I'll get around to it. I have rounds in 15 minutes, no time for homework."

"Oh, who are you doing rounds with? You did the schedule while I was sick."

"Myself. I accidentally forgot to schedule anyone so I am going to go myself, and write Sirius a pass to be out after curfew"

Lily rolled her eyes.

"I will go with you, I haven't had duty all week. Remus has covered my time, besides if Sirius goes who is going to beat Remus?" she said with a grin.

"No one, check mate, I win, Sirius you go with Prongs." Remus said joyfully.

"Arrogant git!" Sirius said in awe, looking at the board.

"You're not going Lils, you have been in bed all week and you have only been up and about today and you aren't pushing it. Besides McGonagall pulled you from duties until Monday. So you stay and play Rem and I will go with Sirius. I win!" he said with a huge smile.

"For the first and probably last time ever." Sirius muttered, causing everyone to burst into laughter.

oOoOoOo

Sirius was bouncing around somewhere behind James, planting sticking charms to random places on the floor, as he rounded a corner close to the Ravenclaw common room.

"You are a goofy prat you know that!" he yelled back at Sirius.

He heard a thump from inside a broom cupboard to his right and a voice utter an urgent ssssshhhhh. He frowned to himself. He hated breaking up these sessions, but with Lily gone he had to show he was responsible. He pulled the door open just as Sirius caught up with him, his face shining with laughter, until Soryn and seventh year Ravenclaw Prefect Fredrick Macmillan fell, entwined, out of the closet. The steadied them selves and she pulled her skirt down from around her waist and hurriedly rebuttoned her shirt while he tried to do up the fly on his slacks.

James just stared open mouthed for about 10 seconds before he found his voice.

"What the bloody hell are you doing? You are an effing prefect!" he said angrily.

"Fuck that, what the hell do you think you are doing you are my effing girlfriend!" Sirius roared.

Fredrick looked too shocked to say anything while Soryn's face was white as a sheet.

"Sirius, you can't do this here. It is too late at night. You can't do this now." James said.

"Like hell I am not doing this now!"

"Ok, ok, I know, please just…Soryn, Fredrick, head's office now." James said authoritatively.

"You can not force us to go to your office so he can fight with his girlfriend." Fredrick said snottily.

"You are right I can't, but I can force you to go to write you up for breaking school rules and abdicating prefect standards and I can make her go for being out three hours after curfew."

"He is out after curfew." Soryn said angrily.

"That is all you have to say?!" Sirius shouted

"Sirius, shut up and go to the office, now! And not that it is any of your concern he has a note from McGonagall to accompany me seeing as the head girl is ill and I made a stupid error on the schedule. Now I will gladly accompany you, to my office." He said firmly.

Ten minutes later and James closed the door behind him, shutting himself, Remus, Lily, Fredrick, Sirius and Soryn into the office. Remus and Lily looked confused but nervous, as Sirius was obviously furious.

"Fredrick, you will come with me for your write up and your punishment. We will fill them out at my desk. I will be taking 15 points from Ravenclaw total and Soryn you have detention tomorrow for breaking curfew one moment and I will give you the papers to give to Flitwick in the morning." James said calmly.

"I would think you could ask the people this doesn't involve to leave." Fredrick said angrily.

"This involves everyone here. Sirius is my witness to your behavior, Remus is a fellow prefect and will be escorting you back to your tower and Lily is the head girl and is privy to any meeting that I am involved in. Now sit."

Fredrick was fuming and threw himself into a chair as James started writing. Lily walked over behind him to watch what he was scribbling, only glancing up to see Sirius staring blankly at Soryn.

"Go ahead, there is no point in waiting now." She said bitterly.

All of the fight seemed to seep out of him as he looked at her. He collapsed onto the sofa still staring at her.

"Why?" he choked.

"It isn't like you haven't been cheating on me." She said bitterly.

"It is exactly like that. I have not run around on you once, not at all. I haven't even thought about it." He stammered, his honesty showing all over his face.

"What about Lily?"

Lily looked up, her mouth dropping in shock. James shook his head in dismay as he handed Fredrick the papers and pointed him out of the office.

"I'll wait." He said stubbornly.

"You won't. Remus, please take him to Ravenclaw tower and finish off the rounds." James stated.

Remus nodded and pulled Fredrick out by the arm.

"I never cheated on you with Lily!"

"Bull shit!" Soryn yelled just as Remus shut the door.

"Are you bloody mad? She is so head over heels for James it is sickening. I couldn't convince her to date me if I wanted to, which I don't because I DON"T LIKE HER THAT WAY!"

James looked over at Lily after Sirius' little outburst. He saw her cheeks flaming with color, she was looking anywhere but at him. He stood and ripped the detention slip off of the pad of paper and walked it to Soryn, placing it in her hand.

"I am going to leave you two alone, unless you want to go now. Otherwise, come to my room before you leave and I will walk you back to the tower."

"Oh am I allowed to leave now?" she spat.

"Of course, I won't force you to be shouted at."

"You're one to talk." Sirius said angrily glaring at James.

James looked at him, empathy visible in his eyes.

"That is why I won't make her be yelled at. I will not let you make my mistakes Siri."

"I want to go back to the tower now." Soryn said quietly.

James nodded and walked to the door.

"We are done." Sirius said barely above a whisper.

"We have been done for a while." Soryn replied coldly before striding infront of James and out of the door.

oOoOoOoOoOoO

James walked back into the office and stopped upon seeing Lily petting the head of an enormous black dog. He smiled sadly and walked over to them. Sitting down on the sofa beside her, he too patted the dog's head.

"Where's Moony?"

"He went to change into bed clothes and he will be coming back through your room soon. He won't listen to me, it's like he doesn't understand what I'm saying." She said, obviously meaning Sirius.

"He can't understand you. All he knows is that you are sad, and in his head he knows that you are sad for him." James replied.

She looked royally confused.

"What? No he has listened to me loads of times. And he listens to you when you tell him to do things."

"No, he reads my lips and he knows me so well in human form or in animal form he can usually understand me, as animals, he does understand me completely. But we have spent so much time together he can read me perfectly. We can always understand Moony, wolf or not because his animal side is always a part of him. He did listen to you but he didn't understand all of your words but your emotions and your feelings. When you are an animal everything is much simpler, you can feel the tension and the joy in people. Your own feelings are simpler too, you know you are sad but you can see everything objectively without it hurting too terribly. That is why he transformed. He can't handle this pain right now. Losing the person you think you love hurts, it is too much to bear all at once."

"I am sorry." She murmered.

"Whatever for?" he asked, bewildered.

"I did this to you last year." She said sadly as Remus and Pete walked in through James' door.

"How is he?" Remus asked

James looked down at the dog which was glaring at him. You could see the tension and anger rolling off of his fur.

"He is pissed at me. I think he may have turned to keep from repaying me for my punch." James said with a smirk.

"Lily told me. You were right to do that. He knows it, just doesn't want to admit it." Remus said walking up to Sirius and kneeling in front of him. "Hey. Either change back, punch James and then we can all sit and talk about this now, or come with me to the dorm, bitch about James, forgive him overnight and tell him in the morning, you decide."

James' face went pale when Sirius transformed on the spot and turned to face him. He flinched a bit as he stepped towards him.

"I can't believe you did that." He said bluntly.

"I couldn't stand there and watch that Sirius. I couldn't do it. I know you, I know how mad you are, I know how badly I feel for everything I said to Lily out of anger. I don't want you to have that to deal with."

"That wasn't your choice."

"No but it was hers whether or not to listen to it. She could have stayed, she didn't want to fight Sirius. I didn't want her to hurt you more." James said looking down at the floor.

"How in hell could she possibly have hurt me more?"

"By telling you that she had been fucking Fredrick all year long. He told me on the way, I hexed him and left him in the same closet James found them in." Remus said honestly.

Sirius' mouth dropped and his eyes glassed over.

"You knew?" Sirius growled at James.

"No, not before, it was something Macmillan said while I was doing his write up. I knew she would throw that at you the first time you said something hurtful, I didn't want you to find out that way. I never would have brought them back here had I known, shit you would have known immediately had I found that out. I'm sorry, I just. I don't know. You know I have a hero complex." James said desperately causing all four members of his audience to snicker, Sirius even grinned.

"You do have a bloody complex. I just want to be alone. Is that possible?" he asked.

Remus and Pete nodded while James stood and said,

"Sure thing, use my room, I can stay down here. I have papers to fill out anyways. Stupid file systems. You know where my sleep pants are so you don't have to go back to the dorm."

Sirius nodded his head and followed Remus and Pete up James' staircase as they headed back to their room, just the two of them.

James sat back down letting his head fall into his hands. He sat that way for a while until he felt Lily grab his shoulders and pull him over into her arms.

"He'll be alright." She murmured.

"I know, he just has been through so much at home that I hate to see him hurt somewhere else." He replied miserably. "And this is my fault, I did pawn her off onto him."

"He is a big boy, I am sure he was more than happy to take her off your hands."

"It just sucks."

"I am sure he felt just as badly for you." She mumbled into his hair. He shivered at her breath on his neck.

"Really Lily that doesn't matter anymore." He said as he turned to face her.

"It does matter. It really does. I want you to understand. I was so scared, am so scared. You were never ever nothing to me. You weren't nothing." She insisted.

He frowned as he watched her eyes swim with tears.

"I know I wasn't." he replied before kissing the one tear that escaped from her cheek.

"You still aren't." she barely uttered,

He pulled her into his arms and leaned back, holding her against his chest.

"I'm glad." He whispered into her ear.

They stayed that way, James with one leg on the sofa along the back, Lily laying on her side between his legs her head cradled into his chest, and him with his arms wrapped around her. They stayed quiet for so long, contemplating everything that had happened in the last few weeks, in the last few days and minutes that they both drifted off to sleep, once again completely wrapped up in one another.