"Leave." I whispered to Jacob.
Jacob didn't even hesitate, he turned around and stared walking away, he was out of sight in no time. I sat there on the wet sand wondering when things had gone wrong. When I had lost my best friend.
I heard him phase in the distance.
People came and went, some looked over at me in wonder, others in pity, but most with indifference.
Darkness soon surrounded me. The day ended and I sat unmoved.
I was on my knees, my head fallen in sorrow, my arms were crossed over my chest trying to keep myslef form shattering into a million tiny pieces. I was left with emptiness. Nothing but a hole where my fast beating heart once belonged. I had never felt so empty. So lonely.
More time passed and nothing happened.
It wasn't the first time Jake and I had gotten in a fight. But this was not a regular fight. It was a break up. He would always be back as soon as he calmed down enough and ask me to forgive him, even if the fight was all my fault.
But this time he never came back. I tried to listen far enough to hear if he was near, if he came back, but nothing. He never showed up.
Maybe he was just tired of me. He had enough of my company and was waiting for exactly this to happen. He just wanted out.
I didnt know what time it was but the moon was up and I felt my eyes wanting to close every second. I didn't know if it was because I was tired or I had been crying so much that they wanted a break.
I knew if I didn't get home soon, I would be in trouble. So I struggled to get off the ground, my legs were so stiff they ached as the blood rushed back to my legs.
By the time I was outside the too familiar door that led inside, it had been another hour or so, I had been in no rush to get home.
I just wanted to get into my room and collapse on the bed and dream all the troubles away. Or at least forget them for a while.
Hopefully my parents would be out hunting or at Grans house.
No luck, before I opened the door I could hear them whispering. Moms wind-chime voice in an attempt to not yell, arguing with my dads velvet voice who was telling her to drop it I had a rough day. Then she went on about how she needed to know what was going on, obviously he hadn't told her about the fight me and Jake had that I replayed over and over in my head, in full view of my dads special gift. He was saying how I would tell her when I was over it and how I needed my space for now.
Finally his mind reading was to my benefit.
I opened the door and they both stopped their conversation mid-sentence. I stepped inside and waited for them to speak. But they said nothing so I didn't wait for them to start loading them on me so I moved quickly to my room.
In less then a second I was in my room and closing the door behind me.
I went to my closet that Alice had purposefully made twice the size of my room and headed to the back where I kept my pajamas.
I put them in my bathroom and caught a glimpse of myself in the full wall mirror before I got a chance to shower.
My auburn curly hair had sand in it and was tangled up at odd places. My blue short and pale yellow blouse were full of mud and my knees were red from siting on them all afternoon. Then my face, my eyes were red and puffed up, and I had some purple under my eyes the way the rest of my family had them. And my make up was smeared, there were tear stains dripping down my face and I looked paler than usual. All the color drained from my face.
I took a shower and put my head in my arms against the tiles while the hot water hit my back.
I got out and put on my pajamas, then headed straight for my queen size bed. I closed my eyes and a tear escaped. I knew tomorrow would be worse. I would have to go to school where Jake would ignore me and if I knew them right, so would his pack. Gossip would start before we hit first period.
I had Jake in most of my classes because I changed them all to be with him. And I had Quil, Embry, Seth and a few other new members of the pack in a few classes too. I would be ignored and have to talk to people that for the last year I have only said hello to and waved at in the hallways.
After Nahuel, the boy in South America, came to talk to us. He told us it would be at least six years until I stopped aging. But after the Volturi I had an age spurt. I grew to look eighteen in three years.
The story was that I was dads niece and he and mom adopted me after my parents, his brother and the wife, died in a car accident.
This story didn't hold up at all at first.
People questioned about dads brother.
''But you're adopted. I thought people that were adopted didn't have other family.'' They would ask my dad. And he would respond ''I am adopted, but I had a brother. My brother was older than me and he was married. So Carslile adopted me. Me and my brother lost touch after a while, he was angry with me for not choosing them. But when he died, child services called and me and Bella, adopted Renesmee''
Then there were the smarter ones that noticed my resemblance with mom. ''I see that she might look like Edward because it was his brother but why does she look like Bella?'' We gave different answers. That his brothers wife, coincidentally looked a bit like mom. And that I had dyed my hair this color and it was so people wouldn't ask if they were my real parents. People would think she was my sister.
After a while they stopped asking.
We decided that I was only going to be in high school for two years, I was going to start my Junior year with Jake so he could finish high school before we moved to a different town. Jake isn't into the whole repeating high school thing the way dad and his family are. But he was going to put up with it so he could he could stay with me.
I dont know whats going to happen now.
Jake, Quil, Embry and I are senior. Seth is also a senior because he skipped a grade. He's really smart and Jake wants him to go to collage and become something of himself.
He thinks of Seth like the younger brother he never had.
The other six newest members were in a mix between the other grades. The youngest one Trevor was an eighth grader.
I spend most of my time with Jake and his pack so I never needed to find any other close friends.
What will I do if others don't accept me into their groups?
The Monday sun crept into my dark room and woke me up a quarter after eight.
Great, I was already late for school.
What a wonderful way to start my worst day ever.
With a groan I forced myself off the bed and went to get ready. I changed and looked in the mirror.
The mirror in my bathroom held a wretched figure.
She wore faded jeans and white sneakers and a plain black hoodie. Her curly brown hair was wild and hid most of her face. Her eyes were swollen and red with no depth to them, plain and clearly in pain.
I was halfway done with brushing my teeth when I heard my mom knocking on the door. I took one last look at myself in the mirror and my eyes were still puffy. I hadnt gotten much sleep.
"I thought you'd like to stay home today. So I didnt wake you up." Mom called. She stayed queit and then asked. "Are you alright? Can we talk for a sec?"
I unhappily headed to open the door.
When I opened it my mom examined my face and laid one cold finger on the purple under my eye.
"Renesmee," She started with authority, "What did Jacob do?"
I didnt know what to tell her, I was never any good at lying. I guess I was more like my mom than I thought.
"Nothing." I said, my voice was hoarse from all the crying. It sounded like I hadn't spoken for years.
"Tell me the truth. What happened yesterday?"
"Nothing." I repeated.
"Renesmee," She was biting her lower lip trying to figure out what to say,"You can tell me. Did he dosomething? Hurt you? Tell you something that you didn't want to hear?"
I coulnt help but snicker. "He didnt tell me anything. That''s the problem." My voice broke at the end and I felt a sob, coming up my throat. I quickly oppressed it.
She saw the moisture building up in my eyes.
"What are you taking about? What didn't he tell you."
"The same things you and dad won't tell me!" Those were my last words. I closed my door with a bang, picked up my bag and ran out my window.
I thought about not going to school as I took my time walking. Just ditch for the day and hang out by the beach.
But that was more pathetic. Jake would know why I didn't show up for school and it would give him satisfaction that he got to me.
Though he would know, I thought while remembering what I saw in my reflection on the mirror.
Maybe I should have cleaned up better. Why would i wear a hoodie? He knows anytime I wear a hoodie its because im depressed.
And I should have put on make up. Eye liner, lip gloss, some mascara, and blush to give me some color.
Even some Clear Eye, for my red eyes. I'm brain dead when I'm sad. Don't think until its too late.
I finally made it to school in time for second hour, Collage prep English. One of the four classes I don't have Jake in. What a relief.
I walked in and everyone stared at me.
I felt my cheeks redden. being the center of attention was not my thing. Especially not bad attention. I took my usual seat in back and heard people who had already started to gossip about why I looked so horrible, when you had super hearing why not evse drop?
"OMG, did you see Renesmee, she looks horrible." Whispered Amy Youngblood as she spoke with Bonny Clyde.
"When doesn't she?" Bonny said almost to herself sounding off in the distance. "Maybe she finally realized she has no friends."
"huh?" Amy said with confused.
"Jake and his little gang aren't here today, none of them are." She responded
Thank you, my prayers have been answered.
"Oh, how sad, she's going to be all alone. Lets invite her to sit with us?"
"What no! Ugh, no, no way." Stuttered Bonny coming into the conversation with interest.
"Why not? She's going to be lonely."
"So, serves her right. She been walking the hallways like she owns them. She moved here and somehow took her place as Queen Bee. If it wasn't for Jake, she would be the loser of the school. Stupid Cullen, why does he even hang out with her? Hes way too cool and hot for her!" They both turned their heads to look at me. But I acted like was looking away and hadn't seen them judging me. "You see? Like, what does he see in her? Cause all I see is a LOSER." Bonny started laughing and turned her head around flipping her hair.
When I heard this, I felt my face redden and instantly stopped listening to their conversation.
I don't get it, what do they all have against me? What did I ever do to them, and I dont walk the halls like I own them. I keep my head down because I'm too afraid to look anyone in the eyes. I guess it might look like that to everyone else. That I think I'm too good to speak to anyone else outside the group, but they don't know what goes on in my head. I don't know how I'm going to survive without Jake.
Just because Jake and his pack are tolerant of my family didn't mean that everyone else felt the same way. I was a Cullen adopted or not and even though some of the other kids were my Friends I felt that I was treated different.
About 10 minutes later the Bell rang and I was off to my gym class. The period that all five of us-Jake, Quil, Embry, Seth, and I- were in a class together.
Thankfully Jake and his disciples weren't here today, all my worries were washed away and I no longer tried to keep up appearances.
This month we were playing volleyball and I got hit on the head more times than I could count on both hands and got hit in the face four times.
Mr. Leimore, our gym teacher, sat me out to watch from the sidelines because I can't play and was and I quote"taking the fun away from the game." He has always been the kind of guy that says whats on his mind.
I sat on the hard wooden floor.
That's all I can do. Usually Jake helps out with my certain disability when it comes to sports, but he isn't here...
And I really, really, need to stop thinking about whats his name... Jake.
who am I kidding I cant stop thinking about him, everything around me reminds me of him and its only been a day.